Navigating Growth Guilt, Upper Limiting & How To Plan Your First Community Event | Living Room Session Q&A With Katrina Scott, Founder Of Live Beautifully

Realizing that sometimes the most productive thing we can do is step away from what feels like work and spend time with people who really generate creative ideas or just let us fully relax or be silly or be ourselves. That's actually, I'm more productive when I come back to work mode, when I do that.

Welcome back to another episode of the Earn youn Happy Podcast. You guys, summer brings a lot of social time for me. I spend two months at the lake. I know you've been hearing this, but literally July and August, I feel like my calendar is so booked. I work during the week, and then pretty much on Friday, we have company, we have guests, or I'm with family through Sunday. And I am all about that healthy lifestyle, like, hardcore, because without it, I can't reach my dreams. I can't do all the things I want. I don't feel good. I lose all my energy. But I'm also all about balance. So sometimes on the weekends, I'm going to be having cocktails and I am going to be eating whatever my family is making. And with that can come a lot of bloating and inflammation. Especially because during the week, I try my best to eat really clean. But something that I've been doing in order to kind of negate that and make myself feel better right away, even through the weekends, is I am drinking a ton of water. Not just water, I am adding lemon to it. And then sometimes I'm adding turmeric, and sometimes I'm adding ginger and a couple other things. So I made a couple recipes for you if you want to feel your best this summer. If you're all about me and you're all about that healthy lifestyle, but also balance and having fun, then all you have to do is really take that extra level of care for yourself. And one of the biggest ways that I do this is just flushing out my body, hydrating myself. I am all about good skin right now. Like, especially as I'm getting older and I spend half my time in the desert, I am, like, doing all that I can to make sure that I feel good and I keep my skin as healthy as possible. And I do all of the preventative things. And one of the biggest things you can do is vitamin C, because you can't make your own collagen without vitamin C. So, you guys, I want to send you all of my favorite lemon water recipes for inflammation, for deep bloating, for all of the things that make you feel good and hydrated, which is essential if you're having the same type of summer as Me. So all you have to do is go over to Instagram and DM me the word lemon. Nothing else. Not a sentence, no emojis, just the word lemon. And I'm gonna send you my favorite anti bloating, anti inflammatory lemon water recipes and why you should be doing it, because I get so, so motivated when I hear the science behind it. And we wrote up a whole thing for you all about how incredible some of these ingredients are that are in there and for your gut.

So, you guys, this is part two.

Of the Living Room sessions. If you didn't listen to part one, you don't necessarily have to listen to this because this is all Q and A from our live studio audience. And these questions were so freaking fire. I am obsessed with the women who showed up. If you don't know what Living Room sessions are, it is when me and one of my best friends, Lindsay Schwartz, who has the podcast Powerhouse Women, we got together and we said, what would it look like if we had more fun doing our work? And that answer was, we would podcast together and we would do it live in front of a studio audience, and we would just have these incredible conversations. And we would also drink wine. So, you guys, One Hope is sponsoring this podcast because they sponsor our wine at the events. You don't have to drink wine, obviously, but I'm telling you, it is a super good time. It's just a bunch. It feels like a bunch of women getting together in a living room and having. Having the time of our lives and talking about the real stuff. And I'm telling you, that's why I love these is because it brings out a totally different side of our personalities. And I just feel like you are getting the real, real on exactly how we are and how we would talk to you if we were all besties in our living room sharing a glass of wine. Okay, we wouldn't share one glass of wine. We would all be sharing bottles of wine with our own glasses. But you get it. So this is the Q A portion, and we are going to be answering all the questions from the studio audience. Again, if you have not listened to part one, you don't have to, but head right after this to go listen to part one, and I think you're going to love it.

Here we go.

This is a Q and A portion, you guys. Anything and everything. If you want to chat honestly, really anything and everything. But if you want to keep it to community, that's fine, too. Whatever you feel like. I think we're all pretty open up here. So do you want to start and kick it off.

Hi, guys. Ali Aruda here from Burlington, Ontario. Team Canada.

Back row.

Very exciting. I am the proud owner of a luxury boutique gym called Benchmark Fitness. And on Instagram you can find us entschmarkburlington, my personal brand inspire and move. Massive lover of these three beautiful women.

We love you.

So my question for you. Thanks so much for the topics tonight. I feel like it was really speaking to my soul. And my question kind of falls more on the personal community side of things. When you feel like you are maybe coming at a crossroads from the people in your circle, in your network, and how you go through that transition gracefully and graciously.

Yeah, it's gonna be ugly.

Yeah.

Burn it down. I was looking for some, like, how to's. Like, very clear.

Okay.

Oh, you were looking for how to's. Okay. Well, you're in it right now.

In it right now.

Are you in the eye of the storm right now? Okay. I feel like there's a beautiful way to do it, but there's no way to avoid the emotions around it. And the pain. There's gonna be pain, but the pain is how we grow. The pain is actually some of the most beautiful parts. We were just talking about that back there, actually. Like those moments that you look back and go, thank God that happened to me. That nightmare was now the biggest gift I've ever had in my life.

We really did. We were just back there and we were naming certain things that have happened in our life. We were so rejected in unique ways, and it was the best thing that ever happened to us. Best thing. But when you're in it, it doesn't feel like the best thing.

Yes. So with your friends right now, is it like this friend circle? Kind of, yeah.

And I feel like I'm growing and I'm so excited about what we're doing, whether me personally or me and my husband at a exponential pace. And I love what Katrina, you shared from the dinner that you guys had together. And I'm so excited to go back and listen to this episode and actually write it down. But I thought was a beautiful thing that you shared. And that's how I feel like. I feel like I'm so excited to be growing at a high frequency pace and momentum and very hungry for all these big, amazing things. And there are people, and I'm so grateful that some of them are in this room right now that I have met through masterminds and events and networks and circles. That's just very different. And that gives me A whole different energy than some people that I really care deeply about. But how to find that balance.

So this is just for me. I have learned to kind of put people in different compartments of my life. So those people who are with you who know you for different times of your life, they are now in a. I don't expect them to be on my business journey or my next evolution. Sometimes they can be the people that you love to go to dinner with.

Once in a while.

And you guys are probably not gonna talk about business and they're probably not gonna be super excited for what you're doing, because maybe that's not where they're at. Maybe they're really struggling in their life. Maybe they are in a part of their journey where they haven't got the lesson yet. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, maybe they can't get excited about things cause they're learning lesson in their lives. We've all been there where we're like, I'm just not getting it. And maybe some other people got. You didn't even realize they left you for other reasons because you were in that portion. So for you, it's gonna be about making sure you surround yourself with those people who really light you up and bring that energy out, like exactly what you're doing. Go into those containers where it's safe to let this part of you just 100 million percent shine. But then also know I know that I'm gonna go to certain places and certain dinners when I go to certain. Sometimes I'll go with some of Chris's friends that he grew up with and their wives are there. It's gonna be a different container for me because they're in a different part of their journey in their life. So I let my expectation go because we're usually most upset because of our expectations. It's like, why aren't you happy for me? Why aren't you excited that I'm growing? Why can't you be this? Like, this is so fun. Wouldn't you rather be this.

No, they're not.

That's not who it's gonna be for you right now. Have your business container or this energetic container who. People are very excited. They're on the same evolutional, like, path trajectory. But then let the expectations go around those other parties, events, family things. Like, then you can actually enjoy them for who they are. Like, they'll bring. They will reveal a new kind of blessing and value to you when you let go of what you want them to be. That's what happened for me. And then I was like, wait, you can teach me how to clean with like toothpaste and baking soda. And I'm not saying that rude. Like, they're teaching me how to get stains out of things where I'm like, this isn't safe.

You need that friend.

I really need this right now. Or they're teaching me something about they're going through it with their parents or their aging parents where I'm like, that is like really hard. And I can only imagine and it's probably gonna happen to me. So letting them shine for their value in those containers, you know.

May I ask you a question?

Yeah.

How do you prepare yourself for those.

Dinners, events or experiences? Do you have like a little self talk, little prayer?

I think now, depending on the energy, it just depends. Like, I kind of just like get present. I kind of just am like, okay, be here. Just be here and like, let them have this moment. This is just a moment of your life and you can absolutely learn something from this. But like, let go of the frustration of like, oh, this is. I don't want to go do this again or whatever this looks like. I don't know how it is for you. So I'm just saying how I feel.

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You. We kind of did it earlier when, you know, we had to talk and we had to connect about this weekend, but I was in the middle of playing Barbies with obviously my daughter.

It's a, it's a hobby.

With my other bestie.

Yeah, myself, I play out scenarios, you know, different business conversations, preparing for tonight.

You're so successful. Stop it.

Stop. Barbie has a podcast now.

But we had to have a conversation about something and I was like, hey, we just have to text. And instead of you being like, oh, she's on a completely different level than me, like, she's playing Barbies with her four year old. Like, she's not above it. She's like, that's where I'm at today. And so I think I'm thinking about, like when I was really grinding in my 20s and early 30s and I would hang out with a lot of women and some of my best friends, even from my childhood, and they would be talking about how to get their baby to sleep and I'm like, oh my God, I really need to, like, get up that post and then that video. I have to edit this when I get home. And I would almost find myself thinking while they're talking about things that I couldn't relate to. And then now I'm like, how the fuck did you get your baby to sleep 10 years ago? I wasn't listening.

Yeah, remember that?

So exactly what she said. People be on these different paths, and it's really beautiful. And so intentionally either listening or saying, yeah, just text me, go play Barbies with Bella.

I was just playing Barbies with her. So it wasn't me.

I played with Barbies until an embarrassment, embarrassingly late age that I am not embarrassed by. I don't even remember. All I know is I was. I'm seven years older than my sister, and she was like, Barbies are lame. And I was holding two Barbies. Like, yeah, totally. What do you think? No, but I. What? I. I want to add something. And whether this is for Allie or someone else, I've had a lot of growth guilt anyone ever experienced that. I don't think any of us ever want to feel like we're kind of just growing in different directions again. It's not outgrowing, like, you're faster, you're better, or more successful. But here's. There's some specific friendships that I kind of have in mind where they've even been very vocal about saying, like, I wish we were as close as we used to be. And in that moment, it kind of stings at first, but I'm clear that I'm great with where our friendship has evolved to me. And so I think I've just learned to. One of you said it, just be really present. And if this is a friendship I still want to invest in, I'll be intentional with making plans, even if it's every six months, and then just making sure I let them know how excited I am to see them and, like, still let them know how important they are to me. Because my tendency has been. Because I feel guilty is then I almost am, like, resentful of them because I feel like they're not wanting me to grow. And it can go in a negative direction just as easily as it can be, like, wow, this friendship is so beautiful and has served me in such beautiful ways. And now it looks different, but it can be really intentional in those one or two dinners a year that we have. And I've just learned to really support myself around letting it be okay, that I don't feel as drawn to certain friendships as I once did. And it's tough. I'm Literally, I'm like, thinking of. This is very real for me right now. I have plans coming up in the coming weeks with the friends where I'm like, I have to go in first of all and say, am I showing up fully authentic in this friendship? Because it would actually be disingenuous if I would make plans more frequently and show up as someone who doesn't really want to be there. That's actually not fair to them either. So letting it be okay, am I being fully authentic? And am I giving in my most authentic way? Showing up fully for them in these times when I can give the time and letting it be okay if maybe their expectation is different. And even being open if they want to voice it. That's actually really beautiful too, to come back and say, well, I hear you. And for me right now, here's what I really value about our friendship.

I wanna add one more thing. Because I think this is a really important topic. Cause we're gonna keep going through this over and over and over again. You know, you have your people who are on your life for the. Or on your journey for your whole life. And then you have. Majority aren't, though. Majority are not. And I think as women, we feel really guilty around that. And that's where Carolyn Miss Has a book called Hold On. It's Good. Just look up Carolyn Miss. But it's about my s. S Bubble. It's a relationships. And she talks a lot about relationships having an expiration date. And when you overstay the expiration date, that's when it turns toxic or bad. And so when people are like, I'm gonna. Ah, this relationship has just turned sour. It's a. You know, it's a bad relationship. I'm like, you overstayed the amount of time that you guys were meant to be on each other's journey.

And there were probably signs along the way and that it was coming near the end.

Totally. And so then we just keep it going. Cause we feel bad about it. Cause they're supposed. We're like, we've known them forever. Or, you know, we just met them and they don't feel the same way I do. And so Chris and I, at this point in our lives, because now we've decided, you know, when Chris's dad passed. A lot of things happen when somebody in your life that you love passes. And you realize how valuable time is. And so all of these, like, dinners and coffees that I was going to suddenly became not as important to me at all. And they actually said this is taking away time from the investments into the relationships that I really want to have deeply in my life. And so we had a lot, you know, we were living in LA and we were trying to build our careers. We were doing a lot of dinners and I was doing a lot of things with people who are one offs. So I said no more one offs. And also if we're not in a place where this person is going to be on our journey long term anymore and we know it, let's not like drag them on, let's not lead them on. Let's actually just kind of cut it off or be done so that now we'll put that time back in our family. And you guys probably see online, we're with our family a lot and I'm with my very close friends a lot. And I never used to be that way and I felt very lonely. So now it's like you have to sometimes make these clear moments in your life where you decide, who do I want to invest in? Because there's a lot of people. There's a lot of people and they're all amazing. They're all amazing. But you have to decide where you're going to put that time.

You did a really good job too, with even girlfriends in business where you put it out there for me too, which I respected so much. Not only like, how do you feel about being on a schedule, but which I was still late. Still late and forgot my shoes.

We'll make this joke forever. Yeah.

But she said we could do it just this one time or we could continue if you want. And it was just really nice because that was her releasing any expectation of it being more than this amazing thing that we do together. And we're actually already planning the second one. Yep. Sorry. On the books, but you never know. What if, even after knowing each other for over a decade, it didn't work? But she really, like, it was just so good. Lori is so generous with everything and with her words and making sure that you always feel comfortable in what you're committing to too. So thank you. Thanks for that.

And it's freedom for you guys to enter into things. This is why I feel very close to my girlfriends now is because I'm like, say the hard thing. Like put it all out there so that there's never. I don't ever want energy with these women. That doesn't feel good. And if there is, I want it to come up immediately because I care about them and you care about your friends. And when we don't say the Things because we don't want to say them because it sucks or it'll hurt. That's when the crack starts. So.

Right.

If you feel that right now with somebody, the crack is starting and you can't fix that unless you say it out loud. So that. Yeah, great question, Kay. Should we do another one?

That's such a beautiful question. Yes.

Brianne. So excited to be here. I am the owner, co owner of the Good In Media podcast production agency, and same lines of personal community. I didn't even raise my hand. And you're like, who here needs more personal community? I have women in this room right now that have checked in on me, and are those women that I can go to the next level with? And to be honest, like, I know I love to connect when I'm here in a room, but my pattern is I'll go home, put my head down, get into work, and then, like, I don't. Even though I know I need people, I won't check in with them. So what would your advice be? Knowing that I could put a nice little label. I'm busy. I'm doing all the things, but I know I need it, and I recluse.

I feel this way.

Such a good question.

I feel like knowing yourself, which it sounds like you do, and in knowing yourself, when you're in a good headspace, make some intentional plans ahead of time. Not too many plans. Yeah, right. It's that balance of even. I feel like Lori and I, like, if it's gone a certain amount of time, we'll just intentionally make sure we get a workout or a trip to see each other. If we're not in the same place, it's like we each kind of know our amount of time because we can both introvert real hard, like the most introverty of introverts. But we also know that that's. That's not actually where we're at our best. So having, I would say, like a pretty close circle of people that have the. Not the right to call you out, but where you have the intention. Like, hey, we haven't dropped in in over 30 days. When are we doing that? Let's get it on the calendar. And just being intentional ahead of time. And, you know, there will be times where, I mean, we all came tonight and we've all got life going on, but is there anywhere else we'd rather be right now?

No, not once we're here.

Not once we're here. Right.

But.

But making sure that you have those things and for us actually, what feels great is making sure that they're also still in line with what we're really passionate about, which is building our brands and building our businesses. And I think that's okay too. Then you're like, well, I'm making money as well, so. Yeah, you know, but it's okay for even your friends time to kind of revolve also around business. If that's really. Like, I know you guys are just on a rocket ship right now building your company, and that's okay, too. Yeah. Would you add anything else?

Just tell your friends you're like that. And like, you can't hold them responsible to check in on you, but let them know. And then also put it in the calendar. Literally. Like, sometimes I'll do like a. Maybe it's the first Tuesday of every month, and it says, like, make a friend date this month or make a work date. Like, you know, you probably feel that way. Cause you're like, I don't know. I'm building this business, and I need it to be. Because it's important that you build your business right now. Right? Like, it's important for you and your family, and it's important for a lot of people in here to build their business right now. Just the time in the world. It's important right now for us to be making money. So if you need it to feel productive, then make it productive time.

There's always something to do. And I think just you saying that gives me one yes. I love that actionable tip of just put it on the freaking calendar. Because I live by my calendar. I will show up if I have that as a meeting in there. And when I think about it, we all have so much to do. So if I have buddies that are like, guess what? We can just click, click, click on our laptops right next to each other and get it done. That will feel really good. Because I also want to be super present with my family when I'm. You know what I mean? Like, it's all. I get so much. I'm emotional too, girl. Like, this stuff means a lot, right? Like, we have people to serve in such a huge way. Like, our mission is huge. And so it's like, I'm so excited about it, and I could work all the time, but I know I can't. And so it's hard to shut that off and be with family. And so then even friends connecting with people that I love, that becomes another thing where I feel like I'm having to choose between those things. And it doesn't have to be.

I Love that.

And also realizing that sometimes the most productive thing we can do is step away from what feels like work and spend time with people who really generate creative ideas or just let us fully relax or be silly or be ourselves. That's actually I'm more productive when I come back to work mode when I do that.

There are so many challenges to business that I don't want starting to be.

One of them for you. And when you want more.

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And I want to point out that, that those relationships take time because when Lindsay and I first started hanging out, it wasn't like, I mean ideas were popping off but like at the same time I wasn't like the first person I thought of at first wasn't her like, oh, I can be so comfortable around her. You guys. That is built and earned. Like that is the walks where you're like, yeah, it was good but I didn't fully feel like me. Yeah, you're not good. It's called a relationship because you have to start building that and going and doing the things. So when you go and set that work date, just always have the first 30 minutes. Be like, you know, we're just gonna connect and then we won't talk. So we'll even say that like, okay, we know we're gonna Dr. In the first hour or whatever. Then we'll get to work these last three hours or whatever. But remember that all of those investments, when you feel an energy there, if there was once an energy, if there was once an energy that you guys hit it off or you had a great conversation or you really dropped in, I believe that you can typically get that back with work. And then it can feel that way all the time. So that's the hard part about us ladies is we're like, yeah, but it didn't feel that great. And it wasn't the same because it was like number. The second time that you did it, you have to go invest so that you get comfortable. Like, Lindsay and I got real comfortable together. Cause we spent a week in a hotel room together and my dog died that same week. She, like held me while I cried. Then after that, guess how comfortable it was? Really comfortable. But like, you have to keep going back for these shared experiences until you reach that place. And that's the only way to get the relationships that you see online that you want.

Gosh, I love you guys. Thank you.

I love you. And her and her husband were on my podcast just a few. Well, a month ago. And it was the most beautiful story. You guys are amazing.

Do we want to come to Tierney?

Yes.

Tierney Shirelle, the founder of the Live Bold movement. And you've talked a lot about events in building community. And so I would love to know what are some of the biggest, one of the biggest lessons that you've learned in planning events and hosting them and what advice would you have for people who are planning their first one?

Great question, love. Let me start.

You guys are both looking at me. No, go ahead.

Okay. So I do believe when we talk about community being a huge. Just it's literally the business of the future. I think any business who's not prioritizing community is going to get left behind. I think especially in a post pandemic world, people are craving connection more than ever. So even if events. I want to speak generally and then speak to more specifically your question. Events could just be any opportunity to help connect people in person. You're all participating in one right now, right? So thinking about how can I add like a tangible aspect to my brand where people have an opportunity to come together and interface with me, Right? So like Shanae, who's here has an amazing dress boutique. She does pop ups, right? So people can come and have the girl High experience in person. So there's that aspect to it where it's just. I think the most important thing is to see those as experiences and opportunities to. It's like an extension of the feeling you want to give people. The same thing goes with an actual event event, like you're hosting retreats and starting to host events. I think people obsess over the wrong things. Completely obsess over all the wrong things. You can mess up everything.

Yes.

And if you really obsess over a few core elements, how do you want people to feel? Think about how are they likely feeling when they walk in, how do you want them to walk out and how can you really design a day and whether however long it is, how can you design the content and what you facilitate to walk them from where they are to where you want them to be. Perfect example. So with powerhouse women, it's a one day event. I know that for a lot of people they're walking in and that's a scary, like, that's a courageous step for them. They don't know anyone. They maybe flew across the country. So I think so intimately about, okay, how can I make sure they feel really welcomed right away? How can I make sure that as soon as the content starts, we get vulnerable right away, where all of a sudden it normalizes, literally levels the playing field. We walk in as people who are like, oh my gosh, she's so cool. Her outfit is so amazing. Am I dressed right? And all of a sudden we're all crying together. And you realize, like, no one has it all together. Now I have something I can work with. So I obsess way more about the content and like the emotional journey. I want to bring someone through than I hire out all the rest. So, like the amazing installations and all of that, I think people think that that stuff matters when the emotional journey is actually what matters the most. Because if people feel an authentic connection to you, to what you created, that's what's going to make them want to talk about it, want to come back, want to invite their friends.

We love that mic drop.

Yeah.

Just events like thinking about how they're coming in and how they're leaving. So I know that she talked about how they're coming in. I think that, you know, through Lindsay and I's events, one of the biggest things I feel, why people just feel welcome and seen there is because we see them immediately and call it all out in the beginning. So whenever people would come into bliss or any of our things, you'll see it Anyone who's coming to Girlfriends in Business, I'm gonna do it in the morning. Right away, I'm gonna acknowledge every feeling that could be in that room. And I'm gonna do something that just like, levels everybody so that you can actually be present. Because if you can't be present for the content, then you missed the whole point. Cause a lot of people will be in their heads and people think they're walking in there. Like, everyone is thinking about who's better than them or who they need to meet or who they need or whatever that thing is. And it's all just. Everyone's walking in there with all of their own shit. And it's like nobody is free of that tornado that's going on in their head. I mean, like, we walk into here and we all have our stuff. Like, you just. Everyone has.

You have your.

We're in a room full of amazing women right now. It brings everything up. So as much as this is our community, it's our mirror. So it's our biggest learning grounds we could possibly ever be in. So I think for events like, what are they feeling? What can you do to get them to realize they're all one right now? And then just something really easy. How you end the event, what emotion you ended on is what they're gonna remember. So sometimes people end it with just like, okay, and we're done teaching. You know, like, thank you so much. Like, do something at the end. You could potentially suck through the whole middle. And if you do something awesome at the end, they will remember that.

It's so true.

It's so good.

It's like sex. Yeah.

Strong finish. Yeah, a strong finish.

You're like, that two minutes was terrible. But that, that last minute.

Really did.

A number of things.

Did you get what you needed out of that more than what you needed? It's true.

I think we have time for one more question. That was an amazing question. Thank you.

I'm Kelly Burke, originally from Arizona, but I live in Florida now and I am a TV sports broadcaster and an on camera video coach. My question for you three, I've heard some of you talk about the book the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. So if you wouldn't mind sharing what scenario you feel like you're currently upper, limiting yourself that you're still working through.

This is a great question that makes so much sense, what you do for a living, because you just look like you should always be holding a microphone.

And her question was so, like, concise. This is so good.

So you teach people how to do this. I do. I do.

Yeah.

And I actually. My biggest pet peeve, honestly, when I'm listening to podcasts, is people that take two minutes to actually get their question.

To get to the question. So everybody hire her if you're long winded.

She gets it.

Upper limiting.

Upper limiting. I love this one. So I'm actively working in it, and it is getting kind of those women who are at the next level into my current atmosphere. And I'm actively working in it and I'm doing well. Thank you so much. So getting those mentors and kind of turning them into people who are in your circle for where I need to go next, who has the next secrets and what are they doing? So that's where I can get really intimidated and say, who am I to be here? And it's really easy to cower and back out of those arenas and show up very small. So I'm working through that.

I feel like mine is similar from the girls trip we just got to do. I felt amazing while we were there. And then the day after, thank God, Lori and I had a kind of like a recharge day just with each other. And I was like, I'm just having like some major feelings show up right now of like, knowing that in a lot of ways I'm getting these opportunities that a younger version of me, a past version of me would have, like, envied and almost feeling like envy on the. On behalf of other people who might feel like, well, why am I not getting that? And so I think where I often upper limit myself is feeling like I need to wait for everyone to come along. And a lot of times what I'll notice is when I'm going to a new level, which right now, a new level for my business involves doing less and saying no to opportunities. It's interesting just to watch how then when the space that I cleared brings in a new opportunity that I wouldn't have been able to say yes to if I didn't have that space, then I'll go right to my default way of playing small, which is to make myself feel guilty. So I'm just like, watching this circle happen because I also believe it's definitely not unique to me. So what's beautiful about it is I get to go through it and I get to share about it. And, you know, we get to open up these conversations so that anyone else who's experiencing that knows that it might happen. But it's also. And you had said something so beautiful to me, I wish I could remember it. Word for word. But you essentially said, you community needs to see. See you get these new opportunities because.

They all want them.

You were so brilliant in that moment.

Well, it's gone now.

It's gone now. But you guys, she was just on it. But I'm glad you documented this. It's beautiful to be able to have that moment with you and just say, like, I'm having some feelings show up because I am expanding. And I think it's important to talk about that as you're expanding and having things happen in your life that are like, holy shit, moments sometimes. On the other side of that, the book that she's mentioning, the Big Leap. Highly recommend everyone read that. If you haven't. It's so counterintuitive. But what can happen in your own mind is you start to sabotage. So you just have to be aware of it. Because I knew exactly what was happening in that moment. We got to process through it, and then I was good.

And the sabotage will be dressed up as something that is really real that you think you should feel bad about. And you will convince yourself that it's real.

For myself and anyone that's listening that has not read the book. What is upper limiting yourself?

Oh, thank you so much. We just assume everybody.

Because I'm like, I'm catching on. Is anyone catching on but hasn't read the book? So I'm like, I think I know what you guys mean, but I would.

Love it is when you're starting to evolve and you start going and doing the things and you feel yourself growing and you're like, wow, there she is, that next level. All of a sudden you do something that feels very real, either from your past, or you start telling yourself things like start feeling bad or feeling shame around things, and you put yourself back down in that place. Like, I don't deserve that I'm not good enough, or that's selfish, or I need to bring my people with me or I can't leave my community. Like, all of those different things.

I would say sometimes our biggest limiting beliefs that we finally get over, sometimes the people that have been in our life know what that is and know our vulnerabilities, and they'll actually say it and they'll pull us back. So some. And I'm not talking about, like, really genuine friends. I'm talking about someone who will actually know what your limiting belief was. And when you finally start growing, they know when to come in and they know when to bring you back in. And it can hurt and it can be really, really I mean, we all sabotage opportunities or things that happen in our life because we don't feel like we deserve it or out of shame or guilt. But that's like what comes up when I just heard that. But I haven't read the book, so now I'm gonna read the book.

You'll love it.

That's literally the form that it comes in is often it's us or the people closest to us or that we thought or who. Who can say they know us the best. And essentially that's our journey now to decide how we're going to confront that. Because you know yourself the best. So, you guys, I love you. This was amazing. I'm so grateful for you.

Since this was all about community and then we're all community here and so many of the women here are coming to girlfriends in business and you've done such a brilliant job creating and cultivating community for other women and really impacting their lives. How about we just leave? Like, really just one thing about community that you absolutely love.

Oh, I love that.

Each of us. There you go.

Look at this. I can't quietly open this, so I'll just. The other one I had open and ready. There is literally nothing more gratifying than seeing this little idea that at one moment was those moments like Carly talked about, wouldn't this be cool if. And it becomes the place where people find their people. And I think if we remember that that's the true intent of community is to create the space where people can find other people like them and we're literally fulfilling. If you look at like Maslov's hierarchy of needs, belonging is just above our actual survival needs like food and shelter. People need to feel like they belong. And I think the biggest thing. Okay, I knew if I just started talking something brilliant would come.

Yep.

Here's what I really. Here's what now. Just dropped in to tell you. I'll hear so many people say, gosh, I. I want to create something just like what you've done, but you're already doing it. Has anyone ever felt that? Not maybe about one of the three of us or someone else. Here's what you really need to know is there is so much of a bigger need for community than people who are currently doing it.

Yes.

Way bigger.

We need more. We can't possibly serve all of the people. There is someone who needs you to create the kind of community that you want to create. And they're not going to get their breakthrough until you do. So we can't wait to see what that is.

Damn.

I'm going to open my cough drop now. I just got real awkward.

How about for you?

I love seeing women connect with each other and impacting each other's lives, and I do feel like it's so needed. Life is really hard, and there are so many challenges that we'll go through, and we're not meant to do it alone. We're never meant to do any of these things alone. And so my favorite part about community is just growing and evolving together and just knowing that you have people and.

Yeah.

I love what you said, though. It's hard to follow up something so brilliant. It really is so fulfilling, and. And you can create it. If you don't have it, you can create it.

Ditto. It's literally all I'm gonna say because that was so beautiful. Word to Big Bird. That was amazing.