Our life has changed EVERY TIME we do this

We get so in our day to day that we live this kind of like frantic, stressed out life over these very small things, and yet we're not prioritizing the very things that could actually make the business thrive and make the human being thrive who is running the business. And the only way to start to really know maybe what you're doing wrong, or when I say wrong, like what you're doing that's not serving you anymore is to get so far outside of your normal routine and understand that that is not the only way. And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

And we're going to Italy, baby.

We are going to Italy and you can come with us.

So we actually go to Italy once or twice every single year because our good friends Rob and Kim moved there. They moved there from Manhattan Beach, California and settled in Florence. And they have such a magical life there that every time I'm there, like, my life changes. I just feel at home when I'm there. And I have, like, massive breakthroughs when I'm there. Cause, well, when you put yourself in really epic situations, really epic things happen. And this year, at least one of the trips that we're taking over there, we're inviting a handful of you along and that's what we're gonna talk about today. But don't worry, the episode is not like some giant advertisement. The episode is really sharing what happens when you intentionally pluck yourself up out of your current environment and drop yourself into a brand new, expansive, encouraging environment that makes you think of brand new paradigms.

So this is a huge reason why you and I always try to force ourselves to go overseas or go and do a trip at least once a year.

Cause to be honest, you're really reluctant to go every year.

Yeah, I. I literally actually don't love the idea of just like uprooting my life, feeling like I'm out of the loop, really having to surrender and let someone else take the wheel while I'm gone. Because, you guys know, like, when you're in Europe, when you're traveling internationally, you don't know if you're going to have wifi. You don't know if you're going to be able to have contact with your team sometimes. Like, it's a really large surrender experiment. And so for me, the thought of it isn't like, like, oh my God, I can't wait to go where you love to travel.

Oh, I am Team Airplane. Let's go. Can we leave tomorrow?

Yes. So if you're like me, we're going to talk about it. If you're like Chris, you're going to talk about it. But today we want to share why we really feel like it is such an important thing for you, your life, your business and your relationships, to pluck yourself out of your day to day and go do something that is either so uncomfortable or just so far outside of your normal daily routine routine. And how it can really just accelerate everywhere you're at.

I love that you said something that you do for your business, yourself and your relationships. Right? Because that's what we're talking about here. You need to constantly be up leveling and working on those three things. Your business, yourself and your relationships. And when you pluck yourself up out of your routine, especially Lori, who's like so routine driven, it's painful, right? Because that's where she feels comfortable and thrives. When you pluck yourself out of that and put yourself into something new that forces you to think differently. That's when your business grows, that's when your self grows, that's when our relationship grows. We have some of our best memories in the world on all the trips that we were once reluctant to go on. Okay, so why is it important? Because like I said, every time you're like, oh my gosh, I can't fit this in, oh my gosh, this feels intimidating to go overseas. Yet every time you end up having the time of your life of big breakthroughs, unpack that for us.

Well, I think that the first thing truly is that when you're traveling like that, you do have to learn how to surrender. And you also realize so much of what actually is important. And maybe you're making like the little things, the big things, and maybe we are underestimating how big the little things are. And that is something that I learned from traveling overseas is that we get so in our day to day that we live this kind of like frantic, stressed out life over these very small things. And yet we're not prioritizing the very things that could actually make the business thrive and make the human being thrive who is running the business. And the only way to start to really know maybe what you're doing wrong, or when I say wrong, like what you're doing that's not serving you anymore is to get so far outside of your normal routine and understand that that is not the only way. You have to go to a place where people are doing it completely different and maybe getting the same result or a better result. And that's really what happens for me whenever I Travel. And here's the thing, Chris. The way that we travel when we go overseas, like, we're really intentional with everything that we do, right down to our vacations. And I think the reason that we do this is because we used to vacation where you and I would just go and book something and we wouldn't make any plans. And we're like, no, we don'. Want to be held down by anything or have to be anywhere. And while that's great, once you get there, it's actually not that great because what happens is you succumb to, like, what all the tourists do, and you kind of like, it's hard to find what locals do. It's hard to find the really good spots. You kind of like, you don't know what you're getting, where you're going. You don't truly learn about the people in the area and the richness and the history. And so now we're very intentional with how we travel, because when we go and travel, it's like we are having the most beautiful, intentional experiences that are about, you know, if I'm going to go to a city, I want to learn exactly what that city is about, what that culture is about, why people love it, what are the locals here? Like, what are their core values? Like, what are the things that make them great? What are the things that don't make them great? And I want to learn from them. And that's what we curate. And I think that's why my experiences have been so. So life changing. Like, you and I have gotten places, and it's not life changing. Like, these experiences that we have gone on are so life changing because we do get to go dive deep into the culture and the locals and get to experience that firsthand.

Well, I remember one specifically, and I want to ask you about this. Four years ago, you took some time off, right? Remember, you're like, chris, I want to change my direction. I don't know what I want to do yet. And you were thinking about starting some kind of beverage company. You hadn't committed to it. You were thinking about it. And we were in the south of France, we were in Monaco, and we found ourselves in a private back room with a group of friends, the same group of friends that's organizing the trip that we're going on now. And we're in the back room, and the owner of the restaurant comes in and he says, hey, this is very special back room. I'm glad you guys are here today. I'd love to share with you. You know, Some of the reasons it's special. And he says, in this very room, this is where George Clooney and Randy Gerber sat. And they were having some cocktails, some tequila, and they said, we can do it better. And in that room, they said that, let's create our own. And that became Casamigos, which became one of the biggest exits in alcohol history. Right. Two friends having a good time, started a company that became one of the most famous tequilas out there. And then here you are thinking about, should I start a beverage company? Should I not? And you hear that story, and I remember looking at you across the table like, holy shit. What more confirmation do you need?

Yes. And while that company has pivoted, I swear to you that I would not be where I am right now, which is in the most beautiful place I've ever been in my life with the most aligned company, if it wouldn't have started there in that moment in time in history. That was the dream that was meant to come to fruition. And while I'm sitting in the chairs at the table where they came up with this idea, I'm sitting there going, I have to do this. It was just the conversation or the moment that was like, you couldn't be in a greater room than this. You have to start this. Like, let's get it going, get some momentum. And in that one dinner is when I decided I was going to do it. I decided on that trip. And, Chris, I went with an intention. And I don't know if you remember my intention, but it was, by the end of this trip, I'm going to decide if I'm going to go for it and go all in or if I'm not.

Yep.

And so the intention was, am I going to go for it and create a company? This is all that matters, this conversation. Am I going to go for it, go all in, and create a company that has female investors and they're gonna get behind this vision. And honestly, it was the vision that has been the driver since day one. So it doesn't matter what the product was. It was like my decision of, am I gonna start something that includes all of these women? And we're gonna bring them along for this journey of what it looks like to dream bigger and believe that we can all support each other. And at that table, I was like, I'm doing it. I am sitting at the table where they had this storm of a moment, of this brainstorm of an idea, and I'm like, I know what the idea is. I'm gonna do it. So the yes happened that night in that room. I went home to go on and continue how to learn to raise money, get all of these women on board, because the vision was so visceral at that table. And I don't think that would have happened for me back at home when I'm in the grind, writing in my journal why I should do it, why I shouldn't do it, because I was so in the. The part of your brain that isn't like inspired and creative when you're just sitting at home in your grind, when you were in conversations with people and at these tables that these greats have sat at, there's no difference from you and them at that point. There's no different. And I was absolutely feeling just like these divine downloads and this energy that I have never felt before because I swear, you can't get it in your day to day. You got to go mix it up. We're not meant to be robots in our life.

It's funny, I have my own moments like that, but mine were like completely shifting what I expected of myself. I remember like this yesterday, we're sitting in Mykonos, we're standing in the water facing the beach, me, Matt and Darren. And at the time, both Matt and Darren had multi hundred billion dollar companies. Let me repeat that. Multi hundred million dollar companies. And so I'm talking to these two guys who are way ahead of me in life, except I was like doing really great. You know, we made millions of dollars each year having our personal brands and, and things were going well. But we had this conversation about if you're going to do something, why not go all the way? If you're going to do something, why not dream of the biggest possible way that you could do it? And then that conversation led to the great aggregator. I'll never forget this. The great aggregator of any industry, meaning the person who brings together all of the people who are playing individually in an industry is always the one that will win the most long term. So think about Expedia became the great aggregator of the travel industry. Or maybe Airbnb became the great aggregator of short term rentals. There's a million examples out there. And that stuck with me because I left that trip saying, what are we doing? Wasting this talent? What are we doing? And again, no complaints. We were doing really well. But I was like, I want to have one of these multi hundred million dollar companies. I want to go all in. I want to play in a big way that changes your legacy, not just in a way that you're like oh look, I'm doing better than others kind of a thing. And it shifted my expectations of myself and planted that seed forever. And then I also got to know Matt, who's my now one of the two guys I was talking with in the water there, who's now my now business partner. That was only my second time hanging with him. And here we are, the great aggregator of small personal lending with Frello, the app that he and I own together. 50 50. Like you just can't make that stuff up. And the app wasn't created in that day but the seed for me to want to create a legacy aggregator of a multi hundred million dollar company that was planted in me that day. I remember viscerally like wait a minute, I'm playing really really small. I thought I was playing big compared to the people around me, but I'm playing really, really really small until I'm standing in water with those two guys.

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Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that shopify.com happy hear your first cha ching this new year with Shopify by your side. You know another story for me this is totally opposite of work. But it changed my life. I have always been really routine around food and around bedtime and around, you know what I believe is going to happen to my health and my body and body weight if I go way off quote unquote the rails. And so for me, when I went to Europe, we ended up spending 30 days and I don't think you need 30 days to do this whatsoever, especially if you set intention or you're in tuned around it. But I had to go and see a completely different way of people living and being in what they viewed as healthy in order for me to break what I thought was a healthy routine. But actually if I really assessed it and can tell you honestly now, it was a prison. Because whenever I would break my routine, I would feel guilty, I would feel bad. I was like, I can't break this routine. And it wasn't allowing me to live my life, you guys. I was basing travel and how long I could go and what I could bring and all of those things on, like is this gonna break all of my routines? That is no way to live if you cannot flex within different cultures and within different places and within different time zones. And yes, it's not always easy, and yes, it can mess with you. But what happened is after spending 30 days in Europe and being so off of my normal routine because I just couldn't be like you guys. We weren't eating until 10 or 11 at night because in Spain, that's literally when we ate and we were staying or we were with people who were from there. And so I'm not gonna be like, oh, sorry, I need to eat at 5 or 6 or 7 when, you know, and be in bed at 9 when dinner isn't even booked. You don't even start walking to dinner until 9pm and then you end up sleeping in. And it's just a very different, different way of being. And I don't know if you've ever been over there, but it's not like a huge vegetable culture. It's not like, oh, I'm gonna have salads, I'm gonna have all these greens. It's like you're eating a lot of very different things. And it took me being so far outside of my element to have this realization of, wait. My body hasn't changed one ounce, and I'm doing whatever I wanted, but I was doing it with joy. I was sitting at a table with people enjoying. I was being so somewhat conscious of my food. Like, I wasn't, you know, I was trying to eat fairly healthy, but I also was eating whatever was put in front of me. And so after the 30 days and getting home and having this realization that I looked around at all of the people there and they're very healthy, they're very fit. Chris, you and I were walking anywhere from 3 to 12 miles a day and having this realization that, like, wait, you know, it completely balances itself, itself out. And I think even the intention and the energy and the people that you're sitting with when you're eating that meal. That's why they say, you know, there's that book, like, Never Eat Alone. It's not just about networking, but it's also about, like, the whole theory around that is the energy in which you're consuming your food. And we were having so much, like, joy and pleasure. And it wasn't, you know, uncomfortable. It wasn't just about the food that just. It changed my intention entire life. And I can say that after that trip, I've experienced so much freedom from that point on. And the realization that, you know, if you want to be fit and healthy, There's a million ways to do it. Not this one way. Even though I got results once and stuck to it, there's a million different ways to stay that way.

And if you don't mind me saying, it's completely changed our marriage. I feel like we have way more fun now. I feel like we have way more flexibility now. I feel like we go on more adventures now. And I feel like our life is so much richer in experience or why the hell not moments now. And it's just more fun. It's just more fun together. Since that paradigm was broken because of that trip over there.

Well, you have to see how other people are doing it in the world.

Yep, 100%. Guys, here's what we're curating for you to have these moments. We're just going to take a small handful of couples, or even individuals. You don't have to be a couple to come over. But I'm saying it's going to be a small, intimate group. And we're letting our friends, Rob and Kim, that curate all these trips for us. We're letting them curate the whole damn thing. And we're talking dinner with the Ferragamos. It's funny, I got a couple of DMs when that got out, and they're like, wait, the Ferragamos, like the fashion brand? Like the shoes from it?

Ferragamos.

The Ferragamos, literally the couple that owns it and runs it right now. We already had dinner with them. They're absolutely amazing. Last time we were over there, we said, hey, would you ever have dinner with our friends that we bring over again? Because you guys are so inspirational. So we're having dinner with the Ferragamos, getting a private tour of their flagship operation. We are taking helicopters to legendary vineyards where the guy who owns a vineyard is one of the greatest entrepreneurs over there in Italy, in Florence, in Tuscany. We are staying all together, not in one room, but all together, in an iconic.

That trip would be more expensive.

Chateau. Yeah. Yes. In an iconic chateau that is hundreds and hundreds of years old. I mean, literally, a $2,000 a night room is just included in this thing, in this chateau. The list goes on and on. Like, they curate experiences that you can't book on your own. Like, you literally are not allowed to go book these things.

And when you're thinking of this, like, this is not just a trip. This is beautiful, somewhat curated conversations. Like, these are. Chris and I were talking about our relationships, and I can say that the reason that these trips and our relationships are so good is because we understand, like, you have to have great conversations and great conversation starters and great questions to have true, like, intimacy in your relationships. Meaning, like, cut the fluff and let's get to the good stuff that we all want to be talking about and learning about. And just like the richness of life. Like the things that will actually make you a better human and enjoy your life more so that you can go back to your work and know who you are and what you want and what vision you want to paint for yourself. And these trips are so experiential and enjoyable. Like, Chris, some of these we listened to opera singers and then we wrote group poetry and had to read them in front of people. And, you know, then we went to this incredible museum and we didn't just look at art. We went around and like found a favorite piece of art and explained in our own way, like, why did it move us? Why did we love it and expressed it to the group? And like, these are different ways to curate deeper, lasting relationships and just think on a bigger level. Think differently than you're thinking right now.

Yeah. And when we do those, we get to do them private. Like we're getting a private tour of the duomo. Not with public, not when it's open, not with other people. Literally private tour. Like, when it's not open. The stuff is just off the charts in the way it's going to change your life. So if you guys want to go, hit pause and go to Chrisharder Me Italy. All the information you need is there along with the application to be considered to come along. Go to Chrishurter Meitaly. Again, that is chrisharder Me Italy. Answer the couple of questions there. We'll jump on a call if that's what it takes. We're curating the best travel group you could ever imagine so that you leave with all the same breakthroughs that we had or in your version that you needed. Hope to see you there. Cannot wait to see who gets to go with us. I'm really excited about this.

I cannot wait. These have been the most life changing experiences for us, so I can't wait to share them with you guys.

All right, guys. Chris Harder Me Italy. Thanks for listening. Love and appreciate you. See you in Italy.