Sales Strategies & Getting Clear on What YOU Really Want with Cayla Craft

All that sales is is understanding people's needs, period. That's all that it is. Because sales is serving. So if I understand your need, I'm going to serve you with a solution all the time. And so that's really like I decided to get excellent at it. You're always selling something, whether it's yourself, a product or a service, you're always going to be selling.

Welcome back to the Earn your Happy podcast. Today on the show I have one of dear friends, Kayla Craft and she has a new book out called what do youo really Want? And you guys, I am so incredibly honored that she asked me to write the foreword for this book. It feels much like when you get asked to be in someone's wedding, it's that exciting. Maybe more exciting. She was an ER nurse turned multimillionaire investor, mentor and host of Crafted Entrepreneur podcast, which I've gotten the honor of being on. She's so good at interviewing. She's also an author, like I said of her brand new book what do you really want? Which is out now. And Kayla and I share a lot of similarities to the beginning of our entrepreneurial journeys. We met at the same network marketing company and after years of being friends, I actually didn't know this about her. We both had jobs selling cell phones back in the day and Kayla shares how she went from failing her test at that cell phone sales job to now making six figure sales and the skills anyone can learn because at the end of the day you're actually selling you and your confidence. So we also talk about inner child work and some of these exercises she included in her book. And these are the things that I actually did to remove massive blocks in my life. My career and life really started to take off after I started doing inner child work. And some of the things that I did she actually has in her book. And at the end of the podcast, you guys, there's some bonus content. She is going to teach you how to make a six figure offer. So make sure that you go opt in for that as well because you're not going to want to miss it. But let's get into the show. Kayla, I'm so excited to have you on the Earn your Happy podcast again. Thank you so much for coming on.

I think it's been like five years.

That is crazy. So wrong that we've waited this long. That is. I know we should have just turned on the, like recorded our conversations when we get together.

Why? I think those would be like juicy.

And those are the juicy. Yes. Like a Little too juicy maybe. We might have to.

We have to have.

We'd have to pull some things out of there for sure. I'm so excited you're here because I know that we both have lived, like, probably five different lives since we've known each other. So I want to start there. Just when back to the time when I remember seeing you on stage at our network marketing company that we met at, which was Isagenix. And I just remember thinking, like, this woman is amazing and her story is incredible. And I also really resonated with you. Kind of coming from a place that had a totally different mindset, a totally different background and how you grew up. So can you tell me? Let's just go to that moment, like, what was going on when you became involved in network marketing? Who were you before that? Where in that timeline? What was going on in your life?

You were taking me way back right now. Okay. So I was working as an ER nurse when I found network marketing, and I was at a park, and my friend was talking about how she just made money. And I was always very motivated by money since I was a young child, because I grew up with a single mom. And so I grew up hearing no a lot, not. My mom, like, worked really hard and tried to give me everything she could, but still, there were just limitations. And so I started making money when I was 10 years old. And so here I am at 23, and my friend's like, I just made a hundred dollars selling protein shakes on Facebook. And I was like, what? How come? What? And at that point in my life, I didn't even know how to drink a protein shake. So I remember she brought me protein shakes to the er and I, like, mixed it with, like, a plastic spoon and a styrofoam cup. So you can imagine how nasty that was. And I was like, I don't care. I'm gonna sell 100 bucks, baby.

100 bucks.

Just crank it up, get it down, get it down. Anyway, so that's. That was just, like, my personality. I found something. Oh, okay. I'm gonna make this work for me. And I had a one year old son at the time, and so it really fit my lifestyle because I was working three shifts a week, and then I could work that business on the side. And it honestly, like, blew me away. How it completely drastically changed my life in a very short period of time. Like, in one year, I was making six figures.

And, you know, had you ever made that before?

No. You know, I was making $28 as a nurse, $28 an hour as a nurse. And then I worked as, uh, also as an instructor at the local college. So I was making good money. Right. And Chase was like, still a manual laborer. I don't know how to. Is that a word?

He was still having manual labor. I don't know.

He was like, digging trenches and like doing all this hard work. And I remember being like, babe, you could quit your job. Like you. We can just like live off of this money.

And what was he thinking?

And he was like, when you said that insanity, like this isn't going to.

Last, you were crazy.

He thought it was absolutely nuts. Okay. But then a year later, we bought our dream home.

Oh my God.

That we thought would take, you know, we wouldn't buy it till we were like 40. And so, like, lots of things started to drastically change. And you know, the money was like, wow, we're buying an investment property. And like, we're doing these things that we thought we would do again much later on in life. Yeah. And so, yeah, so that's where I was. It was. I was very small minded because I wasn't exposed to big opportunities. But then I started to get in the rooms with people that were doing bigger things at the time and I started going, oh, if they can do it, then I can do it too.

Totally.

Right. And I remember meeting you. I don't know if you remember this, but I was actually on an airplane and we were. I think we both spoke at like a Dallas event or something like that. And you and Chris were in first class. I was in first class.

And I was like, wait, I do remember this.

Yeah. And you guys were like, hi, we haven't met or. Anyways, I remember that little thing. I'm like, hi.

Yeah.

I don't remember what time.

It's like two people who look up to each other but don't. They're not sharing that starstruck.

I know you. Can we meet?

Okay.

But I think that was like my first, first time being on a first class flight. And like, I was. I felt bad about buying that big of a ticket. Like my money mindset hadn't like upgraded yet. I was making all this money, but I still felt like very guilty about the money. I was like, but.

And where did the guilt come from? What was. What was that feeling?

Why the guilt came from? You know, I had elevated. I'm living in my dream home. I'm, you know, really able to go on vacations and like, our family is like enjoying the life and everybody around me in my hometown is still back where I was when I was 23. And there's nothing wrong with that at all, but I, you know, just felt bad that they weren't experiencing the same level of success financially. And so I would try to hide things, you know, Like, I would try to hide that I had money and that kind of stuff.

So we know now that that is not how you are going to be able to. Like, you may have reached a certain spot at that point, but at what point did you realize that as guilty as you felt that that guilt wasn't able to, like, actually serve anyone?

Yeah. So I actually had one of my friends at the time that she was in the same business as us. I remember we were walking on the treadmill together, and she was like, kayla, like, if you really want to go to all the places you want to go to, you have to realize that not everybody's going to like you when you get there. And the moment you accept that, the quicker you get there. And I was like, yeah, that's true. And at the time, Trump wasn't even president yet. But she used Trump as, like, a. An example. Sorry, I'm on here. But I was like, yeah, like, he's really rich and he's done a lot of great things, but so many people hate him. Am I willing to be hated to get what I want? Like, I'm not going to be that guy, but, like, am I willing to in order to live my dream life? And the answer was yes, absolutely. In order to have my family be at the epitome of success, financially free, impacting so many people all over the world, I'm absolutely willing to be hated. And so then that kind of, like, the guilt dropped in that moment. I remember just going, I'm just going to be me. I'm gonna help more people get what they want in life, and there's gonna be people that love me, there's gonna be people that hate me, and let's just go.

I know for me, I actually had to leave my environment. Like, I knew it. I was like, oh, if I wanna keep growing, I actually can't grow in my current, like, place that I'm living. Did that happen to you?

Yes. So I. I had that, like, epiphany about. What Was that? Probably, 2015.

Okay.

Okay. And I was in my small town still, but I was doing things. I was going to, like, the Brendan Bur and I was going to Shaleen Johnson stuff. And so I was getting out of my comfort zone and meeting different people. Right. To help me feel like, okay, yeah, like, I can do this. But it was in 2018 when I joined Chris's first Mastermind and I started my podcast and I realized, like, what's keeping us in this town? Like, when I feel like I'm traveling everywhere to go and be in the spots that inspire me, right? And we can live anywhere in the world. And somehow Chase was crazy enough to like be on the same page as me. And then we moved to Newport beach, which is Orange county, which is a very affluent area in California, which you're here now. We're filming it here now.

So excited.

So that was like next level quantum leaps happening once. I moved to Newport beach because I became a very small fish in a very big pond, which I think is so important for expansion because I was there and I was like the person people looked up to here. I'm like, there's so many people, people.

Around me the best.

I mean, oh, doing all sorts of things. And I'm like, wow, I'm playing so small. So absolutely. And I don't think it has to happen for every person. But you have to be so intentional about your environment if you want to continue to grow.

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Yeah.

Can we first get into when did you know you were good at sales? Like, what, what was that? Did you have to learn it?

Well, I have to tell you, there's this funny story because when I was 18, I tried to sell cell phones.

Okay.

Okay.

I sold cell phones when I was 18. So how did we not know that?

Okay, so when you got hired, did they make you do like a mock sell in front of everybody?

For sure.

Okay. Well, I started bawling and almost like peed my pants. Like, I wanted to cry. It was bad. Like, she, like, failed me. So I failed the mock test. So I'm sharing that because there might be somebody listening in right now. Yeah, absolutely. Sucks at it. Yeah. And if, if I can do this, you can do this. Okay, so that's where it came from. And then what happened when I started to, like, get good at it, Right? Because I was like, I need this job because that job paid like $30 an hour. Okay. Again, remember, motivated by money, I'm like, I'm gonna learn how to sell these palm piles. This is before the iPhone. And it was hard to get those bigger paychecks. And so I would practice and practice and practice. And really, like, all that sales is, is understanding people's needs, period. That's all that it is. Because sales is serving. So if I understand your need, I'm going to serve you with a solution all the time. And so that's really, like, I decided to get excellent at it, and that's what you have to do if you want to excel in your career. You've got to understand that you're always selling something, whether it's yourself, a product or a service. You're selling. You know, you're always going to be selling. Yeah. And, and then I think I hit a dip when I was making about a million dollars a year because I thought that was it for me. Like, so then I would, like, I found myself kind of sabotaging certain sales or like, low balling things that I knew were going to be a for sure thing. I would go for, like, the easy yeses. And because I don't, I think I hadn't raised my, you know, Thermostat. Yes, yes. And so I started working on expanding myself again, you know, and getting bigger and bigger ideas.

Let's go back to you said I, I became excellent at it. What did that look like? Were you constantly practicing things? Would you write down, like the most consistent objections and Figure out how to overcome them. What did that exactly look like?

Yeah, I, I practiced some of those things, but what I really did was started to study the psychology of human behavior and I started studying neuro linguistic programming. You know, there, there are so many like books on it. Back in the day you could just like read and understand why people do the things that they do. And yeah, so I mean, there's so many books out there, people.

What's your favorite? If somebody's like, oh, I need to learn this.

I mean, if you want to just like kind of have a basic overview, NLP in 21 days. It's a book. It's like a huge book. You go through it and just like really understand. Like people are telling you everything in their body language. And so I started, you know, like learning these types of things. Like, it's not always about what you're saying. It's about the energy you into the room and onto a phone conversation and you know, that kind of stuff.

So if we're talking about, for someone who's like, they have a course right now or an offer or coaching or a mastermind and they haven't really gotten great at selling and they're like, they're nervous for those, those first sales. What are the, what are the things you can tell them to kind of prepare for, to go into and also understand common reactions of people.

So first of all, if you're having struggles in the beginning, it's because you haven't sold yourself on you. So who are you? What do you stand for? And why are you the girl for the job or why are you the guy for the job? Yeah, you've got to sell yourself on that story every single day and sometimes like multiple times throughout the day before you start having these conversations with people. I remember one of my mentors, Yaya. Do you know Yaya?

Yes.

Okay, so yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah, we love you.

Yeah, yeah.

He taught me how to be a speaker, but he also helped me with high ticket sales. Like he was like, you got to pump yourself up just because like before you go on stage, you got to pump yourself up before every sales call.

Totally.

And you know, get into that mindset like you are the girl for the job. Like, they're not hiring anybody else and most people don't do that. They're just like, let me study what I all my features and benefits of this course and I'm going to make it happen for them. No, I am me. Like, people will buy your company. That's what they want. Most of the time they want some type of energy transfer to happen when they buy your course service, when they follow you on social media. And so amp up, like, fill up with that before you get on a call, before you get on a webinar.

This is so good because I was just thinking back to how I became good at network marketing because I never really, you know what, I actually did really well in cell phones for a while, which is so weird. But I think it's because of the same reason I figured out why I was the person, like, for that particular job. Meaning when you're saying that, it's like you have to learn how to become a storyteller and figure out why your story around this particular product, like, also impacts them or, like, figure out how to tell a story that they can find themselves in. That was one of the biggest things, was like, if I could be confident in exactly what you said, like, why you're the person for the job. You kind of can't. It's less about the product that you're selling and more about, like your. You're kind of selling that confidence. You are selling that confidence. That's something that you always talk about that I love is your sales are like an energy transfer. Like, you're literally just selling energy and you're selling yourself. So as you kept on going down the road, what did some of your offers start to look like? Like, what were some. That you were like, okay, I'm kind of good at this and now I want to try to do something bigger.

Well, I was really good at helping people with their social media.

Okay.

And so that was like the easy sell. And I remember in my small town in Bakersfield, people like little small businesses would hire me to help them with their social media and I would charge like $1,000 a month. So. Okay. And this was a long time ago, like seven years ago. So people weren't. It wasn't like what it is now. Like, everybody has a social media manager. Right. But I would just go for those easy access. And I'm like, this is a lot of frickin work. I got to change my offer. Okay. Because I was going in and I was taking videos. I mean, I was doing. I had a small team, but I mean, it was a lot of work for us.

Yeah.

Anyway, so I was like, I have to figure out how to make more without doing as much work. Not saying I love to work. You know, I love to work. Yes. But.

But that was a lot.

It was too much.

Like, I took on too much by the way.

Okay, so I remember when I first decided like I was going to start Mommy Millionaire, do the podcast and I was going to have something to sell with it and I was like, I'm going to do a live event. And from that I was going to sell it a, A certain, like a. I called it the Mommy Millionaire blueprint. And I just came up with a random number. Okay, $7,000, because my birthday is on the 7th.

I love that this is how you picked it.

Okay.

Like this feels like this would be good and. But it's true. I love that you're sharing this because they really are picked out of thin air. It's like, what are you, what do you want for this?

It was a number that excited me. Yeah, right, Exactly. And that's the thing that I think most, most people, they get super hung up on it, like, well, what are people willing to pay? Okay, what are people willing to pay? But also what gets you excited.

These are two very different things.

Yeah, right. Like, yeah. So I started, you know, selling that seven thousand dollar offer, did pretty well with that. And I found, and I still to this day, I have so much trouble, like selling anything that's less than $20,000. Like, those are actually harder for me.

Why do you think that is?

Well, what I found out is those people at that level who are buying things less than $20,000, they're usually not sold on themselves yet. So they're not sure if they're ready to make a big enough investment into their business. And so it takes a lot more work. And so most people are. That's why you have that. What's your, you know, how do you overcome objections and all this stuff? You're talking to a person that hasn't decided yet.

Got it.

They haven't committed yet that they are going to go all in on their business. And I'm not saying, I know I'm going to get some comments, but listen, like, I think that that's the thing that doesn't get me excited anymore. So of course it's going to be hard for me to sell it because I'm like, oh my gosh, like I should be charging you $50,000 for this. That's how I get in my mindset, if that makes sense.

But you, so you've done it though.

You've.

You've sold the seven thousand dollar thing.

I know I'm throwing numbers all over.

This and no, I love this. You sold the $7,000 thing. It went well for you, but then it wasn't until later that you started to be like, this is too much work. Like, did that start to feel like work and you wanted to go to a higher client? Like, what shifted in you?

Yeah, it was. That was like a 12 week program. Okay. And I realized that I wasn't obsessed with everything that I was doing in there. And then I wanted to, you know, I ended up making that an offer that took me out of it. It was just something people could buy, like a course. You know, these are really popular. So what I decided was I had a. A bad experience with somebody that was at that level. And I was like, like, how did I get into the situation? And I realized I was like, oh, because I actually unqualified myself to charge more. Even though I know I bring a lot to the table. And I'm working with people that expect for me to give them my firstborn for $7,000. You know what I'm saying? Like, they expected so much. Like, I'm not gonna. You gotta do the work, you know. And it was like really frustrating. And so I was like, what's preventing me from going and saying, you know, I'm gonna host a 25, 000 mastermind and you're gonna get X, Y and Z for it and call in those types of women. And then when that happened, it was like I had all my dream people at that 25, 000 level. It was like, I mean, we're all still friends today. I love all those women that were in that, that first mastermind, you know, because it's just a certain type of like, they are committed and they were so grateful for everything I did for them, you know what I mean, Inside of that container and stuff. And so it was a really good energy exchange. And so I realized, like, that's the sweet spot right there. So. But then I moved on to six figure offers after that.

Okay, I love this. And we're gonna go there too. But tell me about. We were chatting right before this kind of about what we wanted to cover. And you had mentioned, you know, one of the places why people are always trying to figure out how to overcome obstacles is because they're not qualifying the people up front. Can you kind of tell me what your process is around? Let's use the 25k marker. Like, how do you qualify your people to know that when you get on that call that most likely they are a good candidate for that so that you're not gonna overcome all those objections?

Okay. I can't tell you how many times I will go on social Media and I'll see like a random coach and I'll go to their bio just cause I like to, to see. And it'll have like book a discovery call with me for free. Right. So just go on there and right away I can talk to you. That's it. That's all I have to do is just like click this link right here. There's not a lot of buy in from me on who you are and what you expect of me. And so I personally don't think that you should just have anybody be able to have access to you in that way. They've got to go through some type of process. So I like using an application process which finds out, you know, what they're wanting. How did they first hear about me? So what are they, what's their level of comfort with you? That's really important because if they just listen to Lori on a podcast today, they we know this is a very cold lead. Yes, I already like her, but you know, I don't know if I trust her yet. I just listen to her podcast. So we know she's not as warm as we need her to be to maybe get on a 30 minute call with you. Okay. I need to know what your comfort is when it comes to investing in yourself. What's the most you've ever invested in yourself? Okay. And then I need to know what your income is or do you have access to funds in order to invest in yourself. So those are the questions you got to ask. And people go, well that's because you can ask that now because you've been doing this for a while, Kayla. And you, in order to get to where you want to go quicker, you need to start thinking bigger right now. So you got to start acting like you have the million dollar business now. Set it up for success, you know, in the beginning, teach people how to treat you. And there's going to be a boundary because I'm not getting on any phone call with anybody that's about to waste my time. Right. So I have those qualifying questions. That's something very simple. I mean my team, we also have appointment setters. So they get that application and then they will reach out to. They'll call. Yeah. And just be like, it'll say mommy Millionaire is calling you. And they'll just be like, hi, like we just wanted, we saw your application, application come through. We just wanted to see, you know, what are your goals? Make sure that it's really our program that best suits you and we can book a call with you. You know, tomorrow at 9 or 11. Is there anything that is going to prevent you from being on this call on time? And they're like, oh, well I was going to be driving at that time. And we'll say, okay, no, we need a time where you're going to be completely, you know, focused on this 15 minute conversation. Because our time is valuable and so is your. Yeah. You know, so we kind of set that precedence right away. And then we will send out texts to remind of the call and then you get on the call with somebody. So there's a lot of touches ahead of time to find out, like, is this a hot lead or not?

Yes. Yeah, totally. I mean you're, you're taking, this applies through everything, but you're taking me back so much to network marketing when people would be like, how do, how do you even like get your calls? I'm like, I, I make sure I send all these qualifying things. I ask all of these pre questions. I send like, like follow ups about, like, is this for sure in your calendar? Okay, just checking in about tomorrow. Like I have all of these ways because I'm not gonna go just try to get on a million calls and have people ghost me. Cause that's what happens. It's literally what happens. It doesn't matter at what level you are if you don't do these things prior to say just like you said, you teach people how to treat you. It's so important. Okay, so you, you know, you had your 7 figure offer, 25k offer, and then you go up like for people listening, somebody else, like, how did you. Trust me, I'm an offer. I was in offer land for so long.

So like I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that.

But it's really great because what I want to follow today is like, what was that journey like for you? What did that look like? So your mindset from 7k, like your 7k offer to now a 6 figure offer. Who are you? Who did you have to become to be able to do an offer like that?

Yeah, it's so good. Well, you know, I think the more that I bought into my vision of what I truly want my life to look like, I asked myself the question and it's a really good question everybody could ask themselves. But I would rather work with 10 very high quality people who I'm, you know, I'm a business consultant. So I like to be in there in your business and be figuring out what's going on. And I would rather have 10 people like that, that I could work with, with for the next year or a couple years because some of my clients stay with me for a while, you know, then go out and have a hundred people spend $10,000 with me. Right? Yeah, yes, there's impact, you could say at that, 100 people at 10k level. But what I've seen is with all my private clients, you know, I'm going to give you an example. Melissa Hanault, you know, she built the brand burnout to all out. She came to me with, you know, she didn't have her LinkedIn business yet. And now I look at her and I'm like, wow, we worked together for two years and look at the impact, the ripple effect that has happened because we went deep on her mindset, what she thought was possible for herself and she's impacted tens of thousands of lives, you know what I mean? So that's what gets me excited. And I know that if you really go deep with a mentor, then we can get so much accomplished together rather than having people just take, you know, little one offs here and there of what they can it.

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That's a great question. What was the story in my head? Well, am I worthy of somebody actually investing that much into me? Like, who do I think I am? And I knew nobody around me. That was like, doing that. Except for I met. I had just been introduced to a woman who was a hypnotherapist who. She got on a phone call with me and sold me a six figure offer. And this was like, pre. Right before the pandemic happened. And I. She was like the person who showed me it was possible. What? I go, how many of these do you sell? All the time. Right. I'm like, what? She goes, oh, I work with, you know, so and so, da, da, da, da. And she had like, like 20 clients at that level. And I was like, okay, I know I need to hire you. Even though she wasn't really helping me with my business, she was doing some. I needed some mindset reshifting. Yeah, I had like, a lot of, like, body dysmorphia happening. So that really helped me. I'm going through, like, her hypnotherapy stuff anyway. And so that was like, it. I needed to have somebody in front of me that showed me absolutely it's possible. And I realized, like, Grace, like, she's like, so much like me. Like, we're friends, you know. Okay, I can do it too. That's why I'm loud. And I know that's why you're on here doing this is because you're showing people what's possible for them.

Yes.

Constantly sharing the story. Right. And so that's what needed to happen for me. And I saw that if she has that in her, I know I have it in me because it's like that theme. If you spot it, you got it. Totally negative or positive, right?

Yeah, totally. So, yeah, I hate when that happens.

And so what I realized about her was she just. It was just the energy she had, the confidence in herself that she knew she could deliver the results that I wanted. And I was like, do I believe in what I have to offer that much? Yeah. And it was like, yeah, I do. Because anything I do, I'm. I give my whole heart into it. And so it was again, selling myself on me and my capabilities and turning out all the noise because I totally get shiny objects. Well, where. I'll see. Oh, this person is doing this. This person's doing this. I'll mute everybody. Like, a couple months ago, I unfollowed everybody. I don't know if you saw that. I didn't. I think Chris, did he text me. He's like, why did you just follow me right now? And I was like, because I'm following you back. I took a hiatus. I did. I, like, I was like, going through Like, I don't want any noise. I'm gonna go on here, and I'm gonna still post my stuff, but I don't want to see anybody stop. And I mean, that permission slip to everybody who needs to do that. But that's, like, what I needed to do. I needed to know who I was at that level. And so in order to do that, get rid of the distractions, focus on who I wanted to be as a mom, a wife, a business owner, and. Yeah.

Oh, so many important things there. So I kind of want to just switch gears, even though it's right along the same vein of all of this. And you wrote a book. You wrote about it.

It's done. It is done. I can't change anything to it now. It's freaking me out.

Yeah, no, it's. Trust me. We'll talk about that later. I went through that whole thing. You can voice note me whenever you need, but it's called what do you really want? This is the best title ever. Because I don't think we ask ourselves that enough. We should probably ask ourselves that daily.

I know.

When did that question enter your world? Why is that important to you?

Well, so when. What's funny is that question didn't enter the world until the book was already written. Okay. The book was called something completely different. And the I. The publishers were like, you know, the title is not it. It's not gonna sell at this. It was love little me. I think I told you that. And then I was, like, devastated. I was like. I remember calling my agent and I'm like, what do I need to do to get out of this deal? She's like, you have to give your advance back and all this. So I was, okay, never mind, never mind. We're gonna change the title.

Never mind. I'm totally fine. I'll get creative.

It's gonna be great. I was like, no. So anyway, they gave me a bunch of options, and I was like, ah. Like, at first I thought it sounded basic, and then I was like, actually, basic is best.

It is. Especially in a book.

Yes. In a bookstore. I'm gonna speak to the logical part of their brain, the emotional part of the brain at the same time, because it gets them emotional, thinking what they really want. But also it's like a practical question. So we. I just went with it. What I do inside the book is I introduce my take seven method. So it's a coaching method I've been using for the last, like, seven years without realizing I had a coaching method, by the way. And so I've been using this method, and it ends with, like, what do you really want? And we thought that's a great name for the actual, like, book. Right. And. And it actually starts with asking a question that most people don't know they need to ask, because what. What would you think is the most important question you need to ask yourself? Hmm.

I. I would say. I mean. Good question. I'm a good question.

Yes.

I'm kind of like, what am I pretending not to know that I know that I need to do or I need to have in my life?

Yes. Okay. So the. The first question that I ask people is, what's not working for you in your life? Life? It's a basic question as well. But most people don't like to confront what's not working.

Right.

Because we're taught toxic positivity. Right. Like, be happy about everything. Be grateful for what you have. Like, don't talk about what's not working. But that's actually the most powerful thing you can do because you could say, like, I have the power to change this.

Yes.

I'm choosing this life, so I'm choosing this problem. And the moment you realize that you're the only person that can change this situation, the quicker you get out of it and start living the life you really want. And so what I found with working with thousands of women, and I'm sure you've seen this too, Lori, is that most women are really good at complaining. Okay. I mean, most men are, too. Okay. Let's be real. Everybody is.

Most humans.

Most humans are. Homo sapiens are really good at complaining because it's. It's just one of those things that we do. I know. You don't do it.

We've learned. It's what we've bonded over. Oh, no, I still do it.

You do?

I just have to catch myself. I just. When I'm like, oh, I'm complaining. This is not what I was gonna say.

I don't think I've ever heard you complain. But, yeah. So most people are really good at it. And it's actually a way that people bond. Just like, oh, my God. Yeah, it's cold. I know. It's so cold. Oh, my gosh.

All I have to do is go home, and that's my only way of bonding. I'm like, okay, now we're doing this, this.

But, oh, do you find yourself kind of doing that when you go back to your old old comfort zone? You'll start to, like, dumb yourself down a little bit and like, yeah, absolutely.

Because you don't want to not fit in. I don't want to make people uncomfortable.

Yeah. Oh, gosh. I know. It's like, I need your book.

I need your book.

You got to adore that version of you, though, because she just. She's just trying.

She's trying so hard.

She wants to be loved so bad. She's a hug. So. Yeah. Anyway, so the book was, like, a whole process because actually, when I went to go get a book deal, like, a couple years ago. Yeah. Okay. My agent at the time, her name's Nina, went to her, and she was like, you're not ready. She's like, you don't have the list. You don't have the social media. Following your book is an idea. It's not a. It's not. It's not going to sell at this point. So come back to me in a year or so when you've gotten bigger.

And how did that feel when she told you that?

I felt like she. I. At that point, I think I had a big ego. And so it was really a good, humbling moment for me because it popped the. The big head a little bit. And like, oh, I had one of.

Those during my book, too. I was like, thank you.

Okay, great. Okay, back to reality.

Yeah.

I mean, because there's, like, a good side to being, like, a delusional optimist, and then you have to decide.

You have to be. But then you have to deal with.

The bad side as well, and somebody shuts the door on your face. But it's so God. Because about six months later, she calls me and she's like, hey, I've been listening to your podcast. I just quit my job and I started my own company because I've been listening to your podcast. I know you have a book inside of you. Yeah. It's not the idea that you think it is, but I want to help you. And so she started coming to my retreats, and, like, you know, we would just talk all the time, and she's like, what is it that you do to help people be successful? So she really helped me realize I had a coaching method. And anyway, she's amazing, and she ended up getting me a really great deal, but it took time. And I love the fact that she listened into the podcast, you know, and found out, like, okay. Like, I actually do believe in this girl, and she's really helped me, like, figure it out. Even though we've gotten in a lot of fights over the last couple years.

Sounds accurate for people who are pulling things out of you. Right. You're like, no, I don't want to. You can't tell me what to do. Okay, so tell me about. Do you put the. The seven step coaching method in the book?

Yeah, it is in the book.

Can you share a couple of them with us?

It's in the book. And also for everybody that orders it right now. Yeah, you can go to the what. What do you really want? Book.com. and you can get a book right now. And there's several different offers, but I'm giving away, like, a free course that takes you through each of the steps. Okay. Yeah. So what do you really want? Book.com. or you can go to Kayla craft.com forward slash book. Okay.

We'll put it all in shown it's.

All like, stop plugging, Kayla. Okay, fine.

Please keep plugging. That's why you're here. This is just a giant. This is a giant plug.

While we learn.

It's great.

Okay, so like I said, the first step is finding out what isn't working for you in your life, but the second step after that is actually figuring out when you started tolerating that.

That's a brutal question.

Right. You're, like, so good, though. How did I end up here? When did I start accepting this? So most of us, we. We justify all of the reasons why we're not where we want to be in life. We get really good at justifying. And what we need to start doing is remember selling ourselves on the new vision of where we want to be. But we can't do that if we haven't actually gone back to the root of why we started doing that. Like, so let's take that example of you going back to the hometown and trying to bond by acting like you're just like everybody else totally. When you're so not. You're Lori harder. Right.

Most of the time. Except for when I go back.

But there's a version of you, right, that started to do that. And she was a young version, you know, like probably elementary school or junior high. Lori, that said, I need to do this to fit in. Yep. And we have to spend time with that version of ourselves and love on her and adore her and teach her that she's uniquely her and she was made by God for such a time as this, to only be her. That is her only job in life is to be herself, not to be like them, actually. And when we start to spend time with that, like, inner child and love on her and help her feel accepted, then, like, we can move on and start getting what we really want. But most of us don't take the time to reparent that inner child and all that stuff. So we talk about that in the book. I talk about that on my podcast too. But in it's. It's so funny because it's so different than sales, what I've been known for for so long. But it's like, this is the stuff.

You can't do sales without doing that.

This is the work.

I actually, I love that you're doing this and I love that you're putting in a book because, number one, I want it as a refresher because I did a lot of. Of like that inner child work with Christine Hassler. Oh, yeah. And it changed my entire life. Like, I can honestly look back and say that was one of the things that got me the most, like grounded and confident and able to let go. I didn't realize that yes, you can get success, but it's almost like you're getting borrowed success for a while until. Until all of a sudden it's almost like you get not unbusy, but it catches up with you. You can be busy and get successful. But then all of a sudden, kind of like what you had said, I think you hit the million dollar mark and you noticed, you started to like sabotage. I did the same thing. It's like you just can. You're not changing your money thermostat. You're kind of like sabotaging yourself. You're making yourself think you're stuck there. Maybe this luck was like a fluke or whatever. And it isn't until I went back and did like all of that inner child work that truly I was able to. To move forward. So what does that process look like in the book? Like, what are. Could you share something else that you do for someone for the inner child stuff?

Yeah. It's so good because I actually have one of my clients come into the book and she's a psychotherapist, so she gives exercises at the end of every chapter. Two, because, you know, I was like, oh, let's bring some science in here so people will know it's legit. Okay. This is legit stuff. And one of the best exercises, though, that I do is whenever I feel like I'm going to a new level and I feel little Kayla coming up a lot like, and you know, your little version of yourself is coming up because you'll do things like that. Dim your light or you'll find yourself making excuses, more sabotaging. It's it comes up like procrastination. Like, there's a lot. Yeah.

Do you need more? I can list them.

I know. Yeah. So I know I was just experiencing a ton, writing the book, which was like, oh, wow. I needed to write the book for myself. But I'll put a picture. We always do. I'll put a picture of me when I was little, like on my phone screen. And how many times do you pick up your phone a day? A lot. But I would pick it up and I would see her and, you know, it depends on what picture I would have up there, but I would just be like, oh, my God, I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. You're amazing. Can you believe you get to do what you're doing today? You know, like, can you believe it? This girl who, like, had a dad in jail and he's still a drug addict today. Like, can you believe you get to go do what you're doing today? Like, wow, you made it. You're amazing. And it's like little things like that to just remind her she's safe, she can be a kid. She doesn't need to come up and try to run the show in 2023, 2024. Okay.

That is, that is really. It might sound to people, like, does that really work? Try it, try it. It is crazy what actually happens when you connect with that younger version of yourself. I. I struggled a lot. I think that, you know this with, like public speaking, I would get really, really anxious. And whether people are like, oh, I wouldn't know you were anxious. I'm anxious every time, like, and it's just a thing and I'm fine with it. Like, hopefully one day it'll go away, but maybe it's my performance edge, I don't know. So I have to do a lot of work around it before I go on stage. And so I do I bring in like younger me.

Yeah.

Like maybe eight year old me. Seven or eight year old me, like the cute version because there were a couple really ugly versions. I don't bring those in. But anyway, maybe I should bring those in. Yeah, sit them down too and tell them how great they are. That'll be a tough one. But anyway, that version of me, like, before I go on stage and I'll have her say, like, I'll have her put. Put her hands on my face and say, like, how proud she is of me. And like, wow, you, like, I can't believe we did this. This is so amazing. And just kind of let her go.

That's amazing.

I'll let her, like, go on for a second. And it's a reminder of you cannot. If you trip, if you fall, if you mess up, if you forget, if you cut off short, if you run out, if you puke. Yeah, like, we're good.

Yeah.

This is a amazing opportunity. And honestly, if any or all of those things happen, like, it would be a beautiful thing for that eight year old version of you to see to go, hey, how brave, right? Like, just talking about. I know this is a huge passion for you and you've mentioned it a couple times, but you have to see people doing what you want to do, but you also have to see people failing. Like, for us to see people not, you know, a business not work out the way we want or hear that one of our really good friends, something failed. Like, that is so important for us, us to hear and see that they're still picking themselves back up and doing the thing. Because failure is such a huge part of this part. So is there. Is there something or someone that you saw that really helped? You know, like, okay, well, that person was able to pick themselves up or was there an experience yourself where you're like, well, that failed. And I'm still here.

I've failed so many times. But you know, the first time I actually launched, Kayla craft.com 0people bought. You probably didn't even know about it. Cause it was silent watch. Okay. We've done them before. Yeah, it was really fun. And I had a ton of money on this website and all these people were always asking me, you know, how it was, like, how did you sell so much? What did you do? And I'm like, I'm gonna make money off this. My brain. Okay. I'm gonna start a whole website. I'm gonna do a membership. And I think I had just gone to like, Brendan Burchard's like, event. Like, it was like his greatest speaker event. And I was like, all these people over here are doing memberships. I'm gonna do a membership. And I just put it out there. Like, everybody buy it. It was only like 10 bucks a month and nobody bought it. And I was like, ego devastated.

Yeah. Cause you're like, if it's 10 bucks a month and I can't sell, this really suck.

God. But it was really great because the failure in that.

Yeah.

Was okay. What did we learn here? Failure is always feedback. And like, I realized, okay, like, you might have been really great at marketing protein shakes, which is great. Like, awesome. Okay, but now you want to get into the big leagues as a marketer. So you got to really start learning and becoming excellent at that. So who do you need to learn from? You know? And so it just went into learn mode. And that's kind of what I do from every failure I have is. Okay. I've learned at this point in my life to not take failure personal, because everything's happening for me. God's got a plan. And the moment I realized, like, that everything's working out, I'm probably not challenging myself enough. Like, if you're winning 100% of the time, you're not playing big enough. So, you know, it's kind of what I live by. I'm trying to think if I've ever watched somebody fail. Um, I mean, I've watched. I've watched people in my family try to do things and maybe not have success. I've, you know, watched my dad fail over and over again trying to get off drugs. So that's kind of a different story. But he's taught me so much as a person, because he's still. It's such a disease. It's a nasty disease. But he's taught me so much about, like, the mental mindset and, like, trying every single day. Like, that's what he teaches me. He tries. Sometimes he fails and fails big time, but he's trying. He's going to his meetings. He's doing all of the things that you're supposed to do to become sober and stuff. And sometimes it works, you know, And I think that mindset of just trying, people don't appreciate that enough. Like, did you try? Yeah. It can also be a crux, you know, Like, I tried, but, like, keep trying. Yeah, but, like, be proud of yourself for trying every single day. Like, if you're trying, that means you're growing and you're getting outside of your comfort zone. If you could truly say you try.

I love that. And it's the. The idea of you tried, but then you were talking about you have to try, but you have to extract the lesson from the failure.

Yes.

And I think that's where so many people go wrong in all of it. And I have, too, in the past. But whenever there's a failure or something that doesn't work, there's always such a massive lesson there. Like, what exactly was it? Do you need to do it again? Is this actually for you? There's a million questions that you can ask. So. So when you fail, what are some questions that you ask yourself to get those lessons?

Well, I always think, like, changing your perspective is the most powerful thing. So if you can get a 10,000 foot view on the failure and why it had to happen. So if everything in my life happens for me, why did this failure have to happen? So when you have that view, you can see what led up to the failure, but what comes after the failure. And so just changing your perspective and looking down and being like, oh, okay, I had had to royally screw up there in order to have this success five years later or whatever. Right. So I think that changing your perspective and I just thought about something. I remember going to your house for Thanksgiving a couple years ago and I was. I don't know if you remember this, but I was going through a very rough time in my business because I had experienced something. Anyway, it was sucky.

Yes, I do remember.

You remember. Okay. And I remember. Do you remember you said congratulations to me?

I think so.

You said congratulations. I was like, what? I still have chills. I'm like, what? Because you're like, you're going to that next level, right? And so I'm.

I think I had just got off it. That's why I was like, no, I promise it's going to be good. And I know you're going to hate.

Me for this, but I think it's so important. Like, if you're somebody that's committed to growth, which I know if you're like listening to this podcast, you are. You've got to be around people who remind you of your future, not your past. And so just being it, like it happened to be that I was at Thanksgiving at your house, like in the right room, right? To just go, okay, yeah, this is just a moment in time. It's not going to matter in five years. Like, it's truly not going to matter. It sucks. It hurts all of those things, but it's going to help me set up my business for more success because I'm learning how to protect myself. And we just got to move on and enjoy the moment. I don't think I was able to enjoy it that day, but I can say it now.

Yeah, exactly.

It's really cool. But you got to be around people who. Who are going to be like, great job, you know, like, awesome. You're going through that perfect now. You're really going places, you know, And I have a friend who's. I actually two of two good girlfriends that are billionaires. And they. The way that they look at someone to say that.

I know, seriously. But tell your little Kayla that too. By the way, you're so cool.

You Hang out with millionaires, by the way. The way that they look at problems is like so different than the way I look at mine, even still right now. So that's how I know I have growth. I'm like, because I'm going to that billionaire level with a B. Okay. Yeah. And so the way that they look at things, it's like it's no sweat off their back and they're being legit. Like, they just don't sweat the small stuff. The way that I still kind of will get hung up on things.

Yes.

It's like, no, that is not something that matters. And so you gotta, you gotta hang out with people that remind you of how powerful you are and where you're headed.

That's so good. My friend Kelly Kusman, she has a really amazing mentor. In fact, he's the CEO of Summer Fridays. And he's just kind of been, he's been around the block and he's said to her, because she brought a problem to him that was a really big problem in her world. And he was like, how would a billion dollar company respond to this problem? And she was like, this probably wouldn't even be a problem, would it?

Yes.

And it was a really interesting way to look at it as in the grand scheme, how would a billion dollar business react to this? And I think of that with. I just got some, some comments the other day and I was like, would they even see these comments? Would it even matter? Would it even be a thing? Like, it wouldn't actually even be a topic that would ever even come up.

Right.

And so it's remembering where you want to go. You don't have the energy to even let it, like sit in that area. So take all that energy and if you did that and moved it forward, where would you be? So I want to hit on this because I just, I love your relationship with your family and your kids. Like, you're one of my, like, you're just such a mentor in that area as a mother and how you are with your children. What you wrote this book, it's probably brought up a lot with your kids as well, like, wanting to be able to make sure, like, how do you, how do you do this work with a child?

Yeah, how do you do this work with a child? So it's interesting because, you know, I have a 13, 11 and a 9 year old, which, you know them, they love you. And it's. I see myself in every single one of our kids. You know, something about them. And I'll think back to going okay, what was I going through at 13 years old? What was I going through at 9 years old? And, like, what did I need in that moment? And every child, it always goes back to love and safety. Always. That's what you need. And so I'm always trying to make sure that my kids feel safe and pointing it out to them, like, how do you feel in your body when Charlie gets upset? You know, she ran for AI ASB and didn't get elected. I mean, I've never seen her cry like that. It was. Oh, my God, it was, like, heartbreaking. As a mom, I wanted to go in and, like, fight the school.

Like, what am I gonna do?

How'd you kids not choose her? Little jerks, but jerks. It's fine. But what I did with her is I'm like, okay, like, you know, why does it matter so much to you? And she's like, because, like, all my friends, you know, were doing it, and I wanted to do it. I want to be a leader. And I'm like, isn't it so cool that, like, God's showing you now that being a leader is important to you? And we talked about, like, okay, what does it mean to be a leader? You know, you can be a leader without a title. And so we're choosing every single day to show leadership. Like, every day on the way to school. I'm like, who are you going to show kindness to? And who. How are you going to go out of your way to help somebody today? So I just put that in their mindset, like. Like to be intentional with being a leader, because that's important to all three of my kids. And so helping them see, like, that perspective early in the morning is really great. Another thing that we do is, you know, like, affirmations. And I don't really do, like, the inner child work with them, but I'm really big on expressing emotions. So it's crazy because most people don't know this about me, but I'll share it with you. I don't think I've shared these two with you before, but, you know, we don't ever cuss at home. Like, we're. We're not cussers. So they hear you guys are. You know, Cooper's made, I think, hundreds of dollars off of Chris every time. He just like, 20, give me 20.

Money, swear jar, Chris.

He's like, oh, Chris, come here. I'm going to hang out.

I'm going to get rich.

It's awesome. So anyway, Charlie, like, something about cussing, like, she just wants to do it. Okay, I'm dying. And I'm like, well, what's that part of you? She goes, I just feel free. Say the cuss word. I'm like, okay, so I don't think it's appropriate for you to talk like that. But when we get into this car, I'm gonna give you just, like, one minute. You can say all the cuss words that you want to say. This one minute in the car, and it stays in this freaking car. Yeah. So she just, you know, just drops them. And I'm like, oh, my God, you're dying. Am I your son? Are you dying in this?

Yeah.

Yeah. But, like, what I want to teach her is just, like, it's healthy to express in certain ways. And I'm not saying that cussing is bad or whatever.

Right.

Whatever people want to do. But for her, I don't want to teach her to ever hold anything in. So I want to teach her that mindset of, like, we have to contain things like anger in a certain way, but if you don't express, that's when you explode, you know? And so, for example, when she didn't make asb, we have a punching bag in our garage. And I said, okay, I want you to think about everybody that you're mad at right now that maybe didn't vote for you. Think about them on that punching bag. She's just fine. She's, like, sweating, like, getting it all out. But I want her to know that it's okay to have emotions and, like, let's express them in a very healthy way.

I think that's so important to learn. I mean, even in. Even in business. And, you know, network marketing was such a boot camp for business. It's like, that was everybody's first go at business, you can imagine. And nobody knew when or when a lot of hurt feelings, how to express and going into it as a child and even, like, having that tool, that set of tools to be able to go, this is not the time and the place will already help you win. Because I think at the end of the day, it's all just. It is your network and knowing where and when and what to say and how to react. I think we both. We both know. Cause I think on Thanksgiving, there was a lot of, like, I understood where you were coming from. Cause I had just gone through some different things with different people.

Yeah.

And I think that all boils down to people not knowing when and how to express what we're all trying to do in business and, like, personalities working together and Families working together. And I think that what you just shared is if you can learn how to control that and, and learn that young for your kids, that would have been. That's such a superpower.

Yeah.

It will make you win for sure.

I hope so.

I hope it makes all of them okay. So your book, where do we get it? Where can we pre order?

I'm so excited. I can't believe I have a book still. Yeah. So it's whatdyourally want book.com and there's a lot of different goodies free course that goes with it because I'm going to take you through each step and really teach you how to use it in your everyday life. And I, I hope that it's a book that inspires people. I take actual stories from everybody that I've. Not everybody that I've coached, but really good, juicy ones. Share it in the book. Book with their permission of course. On how we use the method and how it's helped them all be successful and. Yeah, and it's fun and I hope it's you buy at least 20.

Buy at least 20. You heard it here. No, really though, we do this all. I think I do this all the time for friends when I have something that really changed my life and I know that this book is going to change so many people's lives. So buy 20 or two. But click the link below. You guys can go and get that book and go check out everything, everything that she has to offer. And also Kayla, we held back on this podcast so even though she just dropped like seriously, I loved it. I loved every second of this podcast. So much info. She held back on teaching us how to sell a six figure offer which is going to be in the bonus content which if you just go to the show notes below and click for the bonus content, we're going to send it to your email and you're going to look learn from Kayla how to sell a six figure offer. It's going to be a mini podcast bonus content just like this. So Kayla, where can we find you?

Follow you Kayla Craft. C A Y L A dot C R A F T. Amazing.

I'm so grateful for you. And until next time, earn your happy.

Bye everyone.