Start Doing These 3 Things to Be Successful

I'm the type of person who says yes to things that I typically want to say no to. Who says yes to things that I know are going to challenge me. Who says yes to things that have so much on the line that I'm like, okay, this is forcing me to become someone new.

And we're back with another episode of.

He Said, she said.

Before we kick this episode off. Dinner Series has officially opened this week.

You guys, if you've not seen what it is, honestly, go check it out on my Instagram page. I've been posting some reels from it and it is something to get super excited about because it is all about advanced networking and meeting incredible people who are going to help move your business forward. And it is just the most fun evening, along with a day that is packed with intentional networking and learning from incredible guests. And when I say incredible guests, like, I actually can't even say who's coming to this next.

But we're really excited about it.

But it's like probably the most excited I've ever been.

You know, here's the thing I'm really proud of. Two things when it comes to Dinner Series. Number one, the testimonials that are already coming out of the first dinner. One person has already gotten two great big investors for their company. Another person got three clients out of it. Another person literally met someone who lives on the same block as them, but they didn't freaking know it. That there's two entrepreneurs living on the same block until they came to dinner. It's the craziest thing ever. So number one, just the testimonials, the things are coming out of it I'm really proud of. And number two, just how awesome, like how fun it is to get dressed up and have such a. We're basically throwing three weddings a year is what it is. And you don't get to do that experience a whole lot. Now here's what we did because we are doing a Beverly Hills five star hotel. The venue's a little bigger and the bigger venue meant we can add two, we think maybe three tables, but we know two for sure. So that's not very many seats, but at least we can add some extra seats. And that's what opened up this week. So if there's any seats left, because I don't know when you're listening to this rush over to chrisharder, medinner or loriharder.com dinner, either one of them works. If you can check out, that means there is a seat. If you can't check Out. That means the few tables that we open up are totally taken over, but literally hit pause and go to chrisharder me dinner or loriharder.com dinner and honestly, dinner series, like what it represents that intentional networking, that is one of the reasons why we have so much success is because we intentionally network. And that's what we're going to talk about on this episode. We just got done with our walk and, you know, we have random conversations. We're on our walk, we're like, why do you think it is that we just keep having a lot of success even though we do pivots, even though we get knocked down, even though we have different seasons in life, they each keep turning out really, really successful. And why do you think that is it? We kind of narrowed down three things that we think are really important. Lori, what was the first one?

Well, one of them, I'm going to tell you, is has to do with a little bit what I just talked about at Aspire. I was just got to go to Denver and speak on the Aspire stage. And I talked about really intentionally being a front row person in your life. Meaning the front row is not just a location. You like a front row in when you're going to go to a conference, vip, you know, choosing the VIP section when you're going to go to an event, or choosing the front row when you're at a workout class. Like, it's not just a location, it's an identity.

Yes.

So it's not just showing up to these rooms, to these events, to these workout classes, but it's being the type of person that says, where's the biggest opportunity in this room?

I love that. Like, you know, we used to go to SoulCycle and this is part of your speech, Right. When you start there, you ride in the back row because you don't want to be seen. But when you move up to the front row, not only are you with the other higher performers that want to be seen, but you're also given responsibility. Responsibility of keeping everybody on the beat, keeping everybody on the same foot. The front row, like you said, is an identity. And I think people that build a front row muscle and build a front row identity, I think is one of the reasons why they're successful. Because guess who else is in the front row? The people you want to network with, the people that you want to do business with, the people that want to buy your service or that you want to engage in their service.

Yeah, I was thinking of this even with saying because some of this theme Is we were saying, you know, how have we kept up the success through the years? Because we've seen a lot of people come and go. And even just saying yes to speaking on the Aspire stage, I just want to tell you, like, that journey of what went through my head, like, it is a busy season for me right now. It means that I will have to go and make sure I do really well with the talk and practice. And I hired a speaking coach because I'm with speakers like, oh, my gosh. I'm like, who was there? We have Molly Brown from Molly's Game. We have Dion Sanders. Sanders. We have Marcus Lemonis. We had Jeff Fenster. We have Dan Fleischman. We have the two founders who created it. It's like, I'm not even naming half of them right now.

And David Goggins. All these speakers, I was in my head, or that's what they do for a living.

Who am I to be chosen to do this? But I thought, okay, if you're a front row person, you're gonna take all of the opportunity to face that resistance, because you know where your resistance is is the biggest opportunity for you to get better. So that. Absolutely. When that email came in asking, I was like, oh, God, this is like, this is gonna force me into the next level. Like, I don't feel like I have the skillset for that. Do I know that I could get it? Do I feel like it's crunch time? It was like, 30, and I'm busy and I'm in the middle of a launch. But I was like, okay, I know that this is the opportunity to stretch my capacity to be super uncomfortable and to get in front of a whole new audience that doesn't know about me or my new company glossy. And I was like, okay, we're gonna go. I'm gonna say yes to this. And it was uncomfortable. When I say uncomfortable, I mean, I broke down in tears a couple times because the stress was so much and because I was like, what am I doing with this lineup of people? Like, you can really get in your head through that. And so my identity, though, I'm like, I'm the type of person who says yes to things that I typically want to say no to, who says yes to things that I know are going to challenge me? Who says yes to things that have so much on the line that I'm like, okay, this is forcing me to become someone new.

We say yes to the tough stuff, and we figure it out after we say yes. We say yes to the things that Kind of scare us. We say yes to the things that have resistance, that we're like, oh, I know it's good for me, but I don't want to do it. And then we just figure it out after we say yes. And, you know, this is the second trait, by the way. You know, the first one is we have a front row identity. The second one is we just say yes to things that we know are good for us, even though there's resistance and we've built that into a consistent muscle. It's like an automatic yes. And then I'll figure it out later. And here's. I want people to really understand how you got to figure this out. Now, you speak on stage all the time, so speaking to you is not new, but it was a very specific time slot with a very specific subject. And you went out after you said yes and said, you know what, this is kind of new material to me. I'm going to get a speaker coach, new audience. Right? And you paid ten grand for a speaker coach. And he really worked with you on crafting this and getting it done in that 20 minute time slot. And then you practiced and you guys, Lori has no time right now. No time right now. Trust me, I get to live there. I see it every single day. So, yeah, she carved out time on our drive from California, Arizona for Easter. In the mornings, during seven hours of practice. In the mornings, during hospital development. Instead of nice silence in the house, like I like 7pm standing there, you know, doing her speech to me every single freaking morning. But that's what it takes. You say yes and you figure it out afterwards. So having that front row identity is number one and saying yes to the things you got resistance around and figuring out later is number two. What's number three then?

Number three is to network intentionally. And I am going to beat this with a dead horse no matter how much you listen to this podcast, because guess what, you're probably not doing it enough yet if you don't feel like you have the answers in your life. So another big reason why I said yes to this event, not only because I am so grateful and love the host so much and especially one of the hosts, Dan Fleishman, who I was just so honored and he's such a person who gives so much value to everyone.

He's such a good friend to us.

Oh, my goodness, he incredible human, actually. I just want to take a sec to say, this man takes so much personal interest in every single person that he knows and takes time to add value to everyone. If you ever get a chance to go to one of his events or meet him, like, he's incredible. So with that said, another big reason why I wanted to say yes was because I knew that this would open up new opportunities and new networks for me. Because whenever there's a room full of new people or people in general, that means it's a room full of opportunities and new networks. So I got to meet so many incredible people. I literally got to sit backstage with Dan Fleischman in the green room for over an hour. I got to sit back there with Molly bloom for over 90 minutes and have the most beautiful conversation. I feel like I have a new friend and also just got to meet incredible people. And, you know, you don't get those opportunities unless you say yes to something you don't feel ready for. I did not feel ready for this. And if you're thinking, well, I don't get asked for those opportunities, Chris and I have created these as well. We've said yes to putting on events long before we even felt ready to do them. Or we do new events that we don't know if they'll work, but we put the money down and we're like, well, we'll just work our asses off to fill it. And if it's not filling, we work our asses off even more to fill it. So you can intentionally network even in your small town? If you're in a small town.

Well, and opposite of small town. I literally, you know, talk about walking the walk. I just flew to New York last minute last week because one of my friends, you know, he's like a socialite, Chris King, he was putting on this incredible, elegant dinner, and the people that were there were like, holy crap, people. And I knew that I had to go plug into new circles because I have to intentionally network all the time. And guess what came out of it? Someone that owns a software that's going to make it easier for us to do a special thing that we want to do. With Frello, the app that I'm building right now, he literally owns the software company that we were considering using. He was at this dinner. I didn't even know he was going to be there. That was awesome. So now we got a great relationship from going and intentionally networking. I found two new investors. He's one of them. At that dinner, people I literally did not know before this all, because I said, I don't have time. I don't feel like it, but I'm going to get on the plane. I'm going to fly six hours to New York, have dinner, and fly back the next morning. That is intentionally networking, even when you don't feel like it, even when you don't have time for it. So whether you're doing it in your own small town or whether you're jumping on a plane and flying across the nation to do it, the point is, you don't get to accomplish your dreams unless you do it. And that is the cold, hard truth.

You know, in the beginning, I'm thinking back to the times where we invested in different rooms or in personal development. You and I did not necessarily have the cash to do that at all. And I'm. I'm thinking of the people who are like, well, my situation's not changing, and I don't have the money to do that. It's like, well, I want you to look for a minute where you are investing the little bit of extra money that you have. Because do you want to invest in something that could grow? Like, grow your network, which truly does grow your opportunities, or are you investing in totally different things that don't do any of that for yourself, that don't make yourself uncomfortable, Comfortable at all? And what I can for sure tell you, whether it's our stuff for other people's, literally, do not care. Of course I'd love you at ours. But this is about you making sure you get into a room that offers you discomfort, that offers you resistance. Because without a room that doesn't make you uncomfortable or make you want to get better or make you look around and say, whoa, these people are next level. You're never gonna get there. Cause nobody is going to call you up and nobody is going to show you what is possible. So it's so important to figure it out. Go save your money. Go and do that. Because that is what Chris and I did. We were like, you know what? I'm sick of living this life. I am sick of not having the conversations that make us feel elevated. I'm sick of leaving dinners and not feeling like we had a stimulating conversation. I'm sick of feeling like we're two lone wolves and we don't have really good friends. We don't feel that way anymore.

Nope.

We are so, like, found our people, so many incredible, deep friendships that we feel like we will have these people forever. We are so fulfilled. We're so happy. We're not fearful of losing things or money because, honestly, if something happens to us, we know we have a network who has the answers or who can help us again, has the answers.

The Opportunities. It has everything that you're looking for.

That feeling is irreplaceable and that comes through your network.

Guys, these are three things that anyone can do. The three things that Lori and I do that make us really sick. These are three things that anyone can do. You can build a front row identity and insist on being the front row person at everything because that's where a lot of the people you want to meet are. And it's also a way of showing up in the world. That's the first one. The second one, you can say yes to things that you have a lot of resistance around and figure it the hell out later. That's what we do all the time, every day. Yes, and I'll figure it out later. Yes, and I'll figure it out later. And the third thing, you can be a lot better, a lot more intentional of a networker. We never stop doing those three things. So when you're seeing us on a winning streak or when you say, why them? Not me or any of those things, I want you to be real. I want you to ask yourself, do you do those three things ad nauseam, consistently?

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They'Re doing because they're like, wait, why? You look good. Why are you entertaining?

I'm doing really cool things. I want to be a part of what you're doing.

Yeah, because they're like, oh my God, I saw you there with these influencers. I saw you there with these actors. I saw you there with these famous people. I saw you there with, with these big time doers, like, and then they're like, oh, you must be doing something cool. And then they want to buy. Like it's crazy. Anyhow, go to chrishider me dinner or lori huder.com dinner and grab a seat if there is one left. All right. Love and appreciate you. Thanks for listening.

We'll see you next week.