The #1 Determining Factor For Your Personal Growth & Success

I have hamstrung us early in our career. Always trying to find the bargain right. Always trying to find the person that'll do it cheap. Trying to be fiscally responsible. And I can tell you, when you go out, you seek out the best. That is one of the great shortcuts, both in business and in life. It really is. And we're back with another episode of.

He Said, she Said.

Last night was so, so much freaking fun. So fun. So one of our friends turned 44, and if you know this friend, he's over the top. Like, extra over the top bougie. It's one of these larger than life personalities and lives up in Beverly Hills. And he threw a gala for his 44th birthday party. And it was black tie tuxedos only for the men, and, like, old vintage Hollywood dresses for the women. And I have to go on record saying in front of tens of thousands of people or whatever's listening, that that might have been the most beautiful you ever looked in your entire life. Last night.

We got it recorded.

You looked amazing.

Well, I had an army. Really, like, the best makeup person ever. You guys, it was so much fun. I highly recommend if you like to book something with your partner where you have to get really dressed up and you go and take pictures and you sit and you have a cocktail, drink whatever you have, and, like, really just marinate on, like, we got to do, like, a little bit of gratitudes and have a cocktail in the bar beforehand.

All dressed in the nines, all dressed up, took pictures.

Like, I was. I had so much fun. Even, like, even if we didn't go to the event, which the event was amazing. But, like, we already had so much fun because we made it an experience because we were like, how often do we get to do this? Like, yes, it's during the week in the holiday season. But instead of being like, oh, my goodness, like, this is amazing. We're excited, and it's also, like, stressful. Why don't we drop in and say, this is so freaking cool. Like, how lucky are we to be able to be invited to something like this and to have a reason to dress up? So, like, create it for your now. It makes us want to create it for ourselves. Cause we had such a blast.

Yeah. You know, I woke up this morning and I texted Chris. That's who's 44th birthday. It was. I said, hey, thank you for giving us an excuse and a reminder to get dressed to the nines and to go out dancing all night long and to be around our friends. And incredible human beings. And it was just. It was probably a. Not probably. It was absolutely a top 10, maybe a top five date night I've ever had with you. And you guys, if you're listening, we've been together 20 years, married 17 years and everything from the incredible hotel. And I'm saying these things so that you guys can actually really swing for the fences and book these things for yourself. Right. From the incredible five star hotel in Beverly Hills and the way they treat you, to the dress that you went out and got and the tuxedo that I went out and got, even though I already have tuxedos, I found this one and fell in love with it. To the atmosphere in Beverly Hills. And being in this room full of all these incredible high level people, you just can't replace the high that you get from being around. Such fun and elegance and that high vibe.

Yeah. You know, I had a few moments yesterday where I was like, I used to dream, like it was on my vision board. Like, I used to dream about being able to go pick out a dress, like whatever dress I wanted and not worry about what I'm spending on it. Or a pair of shoes that I'm like, these are the exact shoes I want and not freak out about the price tag or, you know, I wanna book hair and makeup, but I probably shouldn't, especially if I got a new dress. Like, it was such a cool moment that I don't pass over those where I'm like, oh my God, how amazing to have the means to be able to book hair and makeup, be able to work with these incredible people. Like the best hair and makeup, work with the people who I see working with celebrities. I'm like, that was. Those are moments for me that I'm like, this is what I've always dreamed of and this is what I've worked so hard for. And honestly, it's really interesting the experience of what happens when you do work with the best and when you do buy a garment from people that is just so, like appreciated and the person making it, it was like an art. And, you know, I know that you got to work with some awesome people for your tuxedo.

You know, that's a good metaphor for your business. Guys, I'm not kidding. Do what you can to work with the best. Stretch yourself responsibly, but stretch yourself to hire the best mentor or the best team or the best Facebook ads person. Really work hard to get the best. I have hamstrung us early in our career, always trying to find the Bargain, Always trying to find the person that will do it cheap, trying to be fiscally responsible. And I can tell you, when you go out and you seek out the best, that is one of the great shortcuts, both in business and, you know, in life. It really is. And can we talk about the high level conversations that we had until the night turned into a giant dance party? But we had a few hours. And for context, let me explain the room, not to brag, but so you can understand kind of when I say the high level conversation. The room was full of lots of celebrities. There's only about 75 people there, very private, lots of celebrities, lots of very accomplished business people. There were billionaires in the room, not just multimillionaires. And it was all in a very intimate setting. Right. And so as we went around talking to friends that we hadn't seen in a while and meeting new people and having conversation after conversation after, every single conversation kind of outdid the last one. And it was interesting because they were so high level. It was things like, how are you optimizing your life down to the minutes and what formulas are you applying to your food? And I don't mean baby formula, I mean like the formula. What's the word? Like eating based off of a formula. Basically, what are you doing to create extra time in the day? Like the conversations, it was like being at a mastermind in a tux.

That is awesome. Yeah. And then we really got to chatting the other day on a walk and this all came really full circle for us when we were talking about our conversations last night and we were talking about when you find yourself in those places. You know, maybe for some of you, it's when you go home for the holidays, or maybe for some of you, it's like you go out with that old group of friends that doesn't quite fit anymore and you find yourself in a position where, when you're outnumbered, I was, you know, let's just take a time. It doesn't even matter. Like, in the past I've been in rooms and in conversations where I am outnumbered. And, and what happens is it's kind of like I can be positive for a little while, but I notice Even just like 15 minutes into the conversation, I'm already going down to their level. So if it's a negative conversation, if it's kind of like a Debbie Downer complaining or whatever that looks like, I find that it's really hard for me to lift up that whole group. And while, yes, you wanna try to be the Light, you do eventually get kind of chiseled down because you're trying to relate to them. So what happens is I end up finding myself kind of joining in on that energy or trying to find times where I wasn't happy and being like, yeah, I totally get it. I understand that. Here's my story about when something negative happened. And it's crazy because we do sink down to the level of the conversation eventually if you're outnumbered.

It's fascinating that you're saying that because last night that wouldn't have been tolerated. In other words, there was no sinking down. You had to step up to the level of conversation that was being had.

Because the positivity was outnumbered.

The positivity outnumbered any type of negativity while there's zero negativity. Like if I had gone into one of those conversations and started talking about something negative, it wouldn't have been tolerated. They would have walked away from me.

They would have walked away. Yep.

They would have either changed the conversation or they would have walked away from me. Now, this is interesting though, because you're talking about being outnumbered. I many times have been in situations where I'm outnumbered by people who are, you know, high performers and then outnumbered by people who don't have a zest for life and they're lower performers. And there's two sad realities that take place when you're in a room and you're outnumbered. The sad reality number one is this. It's your responsibility, your sole responsibility to up level the conversation no matter what the situation is. But the even more real reality beyond that is that's hard to do. And I find myself not doing it when I should. And the, you know, that second reality is when you're outnumbered, you're just going to take the path of least resistance and you're going to start playing down to the conversation that they're having. And here's the it might seem innocent, like, okay, oh well, one night of low conversations isn't going to change your life. One night of high end conversations actually can change your life, believe it or not. So there's that. But the real thing is here you got to look for a trend. If you find that you're always playing down, reducing your goals when you speak them out loud, or not celebrating around certain people or pretending to, you know, enjoy talking about misery or gossip or the problems in the world or other people. Right. If you find yourself doing that not one night, but multiple nights or multiple days, or it's, you know, the current group that you network with. They're very gossipy or they talk about other people or you know, it's always doom and gloom or end of the world. Did you hear this next end of the world rumor? I'm telling you, you've got to take note. If you see this pattern, you got to get the hell out of there. For 2023, your goal should be how can I uplevel the heck out of every room that I step foot in?

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They are changing my life because they don't leave me groggy. I truly love it. I love their founders Angie Lee and her brother Mike and that they're creating this out of their own need. You guys. Soul CBD is my go to for helping with anxiety, reducing stress and truly the best night's sleep imaginable. They have gummies, body cream, CBD oil and even CBD products for your pets. So yes, Bananas has his own CBD regimen too. Like that guy is nuts. He absolutely needs this. My favorite product is their signature CBD gummies. After a big speaking engagement or even a long day of emails, I can run a bath, pop a couple of these gummies and seriously relax into some quality REM sleep. And like I said, I don't feel groggy the next day. I literally call it the Grog Monster when I wake up feeling terrible because I took something that made me feel like I can't wake up the next day. You guys, that does not happen with this. All of Seoul CBD's products are THC free, 99% hemp derived, non toxic, organic and sustainably sourced. If you want to try it for yourself, click the link in show notes to get 15% off your first order. Or go to My Soul CBD and use My Code Lori at checkout. I know you're gonna love it and remember that is Code Lori at checkout for 15% off. You know, it's interesting. I'm going to use the most basic example and I want you to think of going out to dinner with a bunch of healthy people. There's six of you, and you're all sitting around a table and every single person orders sparkling water and salads and fish. Like there's plenty of food on the table. They order a bunch of apps and it's your turn. You're the very last person to order. What do you think you're going to order? No matter how you felt that day, you're probably going to be like, okay, well, there's healthy. Like they ordered healthy food. We're getting healthy. I'm gonna probably go for the healthy order. Because you're influenced. And you also are like, all right, well, it's gonna be easy to eat healthy because I'm not watching other people eat. Not healthy. So imagine being the last person to order, but everybody orders burgers, fries, some crazy cocktail drink and a bunch of apps to the table. I wanna know how long will you be at that time table before you, number one, indulge into all of the appetizers on the table and number two, place an order that looks extremely similar to theirs. Because are you gonna wanna be the only person who orders something super lean and is not drinking or whatever that looks like?

No.

Eventually it's going to wear on you. Because even at that level, like this is what we're talking about is it's in every area and at all levels, like you are influenced by the people who you're around.

Do you remember when you were back in your fitness competing days for all those years, and we would hang around people that weren't necessarily, let's call them, high end performers with big dreams at the time, and they would poke fun of you, so they'd go around and they'd order the bad food and all the crazy cocktails and all these things. And that was also the stage that we were in at the time. But you were on this healthy kick. And I remember specifically at the end of the night, you'd be like, God, it's so uncomfortable. I hate this. Because they would poke fun, be like, oh, Laura, you just gonna have some lettuce leaves and some water. Oh, you gonna. She'll have one of the rabbit meals, please. Like they do these little pokes, these little jabs, and it chips away at you and it makes you not want to be around it and it makes you question what you're doing and it makes you feel like an outcast when really, you just have great big aspirations. You had great big aspirations back there, back then, you know, not to be confused with a great big ass aspirations.

Well, that's in now. So, you know, if that helps.

I guess so from this rambling, if you guys are going to get anything out of this, this is something to take note of because this makes or breaks your future. This makes or breaks your future. Your 2023 is going to be radically better than 2022, no matter how good or bad 2022 was. If you decide to make sure you are never outnumbered by people that aren't on the same level as you, because they will take you down. And the opposite's true. No matter how great your 2022 was, your 2023 is gonna smash it. It's gonna crush it. If you go and stretch your way into tough rooms to get into into groups that are doing better than you, into peers that are running faster than you. This happens to me when I go for a jog with my brother. I automatically run faster because you guys may or may not know. My brother's like a really elite runner, runs a three hour marathon, which is really fast. And when I run with him, I run faster because I know he's not gonna run slower. That's your metaphor for who you guys need to run with in 2023. Yeah.

You know, when you think of your friend groups like that, that's the thing is a lot of us avoid the people who are going to up level us and bring us to where we wanna go because we're afraid. We know that the second we start that relationship, they're not gonna come down to our level. So we have to go up. And that is exactly how you know that that person is meant to be in your life or those people is because you're probably avoiding it, knowing that there's work coming with it. But the work that's coming with will get easier. And it will be the thing that makes you so proud of yourself when, for being forced to like you say yes to something that will force you to level up. So in 2023, start saying yes to the things that make you really uncomfortable. Because you know you're going to have to become somebody different in order to maintain those relationships.

Literally to your point. So I've been doing 2023 mastermind interviews where, you know, I get on Zoom and I interview the, the applicants that look like good applicants. And I've been hearing exactly what you're saying right now. You know, I'll say, hey, why this year why are you interested in the Mastermind? And they'll say, because I can't find the room that challenges me. Or I feel like I'm the smartest one. Oh, I heard this. Okay, this is what I heard the most this year so far in these interviews. I feel like I'm the smartest person in the room or I feel like I'm doing the most in the room and I feel like I'm answering all the questions in the room. And then they always qualify. They say, and I don't mind, I like being helpful or I like being the feeling of being smart, but I know it's hurting me. And then that's why they're applying for the elite Mastermind. And so this trend, like the people that are going somewhere, they're purposely putting themselves in uncomfortable high level groups, be it your friends, be it paid groups like the Mastermind, be it events, because they know that's what's going to force them to show up differently. Using this law of averages, the average bringing you up or the average bringing you down. By the way, speaking of the Mastermind, kind of a little shameless plug here. I passed 20 businesses already here. We are still November, effortlessly, without talking about it on social media and the whole nine yards. And they are awesome businesses. First of all, we had so many people renew that it's been pretty easy to refill. But the new people that have come in, oh my God, they're so freaking dope. So let me give you guys a little fair warning out there. If you're thinking at all about applying for the 2023 Elite mastermind, you don't get to join it later in the year. It's either now or never. And I only allow 25 businesses in there. That's it. So that means there's five spots left at the time of this recording. We have a bunch of great applications already that we're going through. I think I've got seven more of these interviews already scheduled. I've got four offers out there to people that I thought were great. So even though there's real five real spots, there's less than that. Don't delay, literally go to Chrishard, me Mastermind and fight for your spot in that room this year. Yes, fight. You got to make more than 500 grand in 2023 to even qualify to be in the room. But it's all like seven figure earners and eight figure earners fight to get a spot in the room this year. Because I don't just choose the biggest earner. I Don't just choose the biggest audience. I try to create and cultivate, like, real diversity in businesses and skill sets. So I choose people not because they're making the most or not because they have the biggest audience or not because they're the shiniest, but because I need that person's skill set in there to complete the group. Right. My promise every year is everything you need to hit your goals is in that room or one introduction. Wayne. That's how I do it. So I'm telling you, it might be you, but you got to fight fight to get in this room. Go to chrishider Me Mastermind. Again, it's Chrisharder Me mastermind. Or heck, just DM me and ask about it. Chris W. Harter on Instagram. All right, Lori, any closing realizations from being in a room where you had such high level conversations last night?

No, just you have to do it more. And the more rooms that you put yourself in, the more you start getting invited into. And I just did a post about this, but don't stress about being the most interesting person in the room. I literally just went armed with a bunch of great questions and just kept thinking of them and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna be the most interested because it always works. And I'm telling you, it did.

I watched it work.

I literally loved chatting and it's always amazing to me when it works. I'm like, oh my God, that was amazing. And we kept the conversation going and I could tell that they were having a great time and I had a great time and I wasn't stressed. So go armed with a bunch of questions. You don't have to be the most interesting. Honestly, I'm not even sure if I talked about myself much at all, so I didn't have to worry about anything. It was great.

Well, you were two things last night.

Yeah.

You were the most interested person in the room.

Yes.

And you were the most beautiful, elegant, old Hollywood style person in the room last night.

Well, I told my amazing makeup artist, Nora, I said, I want to look old, Hollywood, glam and a mix between 90s supermodel.

She nailed it. All right, guys, get yourselves in the rooms that are going to thrust your life into a whole new hemisphere. You're gonna be hanging out with billionaires and celebrities in no time. Thanks for listening. We always love and appreciate you.

Bye, guys.