The #1 Thing To Elevate Your Influence & Become One Of The Next Superstars

This year, 10, 15, 20 people absolutely pop off into stardom, and you're gonna be like, I didn't hear these people before. And then next year, there's gonna be 10, 15, 20 more people, new people that pop off into stardom. And you're like, wait, I've never heard of them before. And then the year after that, there's gonna be 10, 15, 20 new people that pop off into stardom. You're like, wait, where these people come from? And the answer is, they're all around you right now. But you're not gonna pop off with them if you're not intentionally collaborating.

And we're back with another episode of.

He Said, she Said Back straight after the holidays.

Holidays, this is one of the best ones ever, were so much fun, and they haven't always been this way. We've always had nice holidays, but we've definitely worked really, really hard to create a holiday that everybody has fun at.

You know, we didn't do any episodes around it this year, but a couple years ago, we did episodes around how we, like, really took a hold of the holidays and curated ones that we'd really enjoy. And that's not what today's about. But if you go back and dig some of those out, you really have to intentionally create, you know, schedules and guardrails and activities and boundaries and all those things to have one of those, like, magical Christmases or magical holidays. They don't just kind of happen on their own. And you spent a lot of years and everybody in the family spent good time on this, but you spent a lot of years having those tough conversations. So that we now we do have these awesome, fun holidays the way that we do.

Yeah. And it takes a lot of work. I even noticed this year, and I said this to Chris. I'm obsessed with karaoke every year, and I know that the family always has fun once it's out. And this might seem small, but, like, I almost didn't do it because I thought, ugh, okay, I have to get it started. I feel kind of shy. Like, I don't know if I want to go up there. There's new people. We had some new people at Christmas this year that we didn't have last year.

You think it bugs people, but it doesn't. But, you know, we all build that story, right?

So I started building a story, and I was like, you know what? Screw it. I skipped it this last holiday. I hated that I skipped it. I'm just gonna start it. I'm gonna just. We'll do it. For one hour. Everyone will be happy once we did it, And I am so glad we did, because it made one of the most fun evenings. And I'm like, we would have missed that. We would have all just kind of sat around and stared, which, fine, but it's just so much more fun when you have all of these little planned moments throughout the days.

Well, it really isn't. To know Lori, by the way, is to know how much karaoke means to this woman. We have a dope karaoke machine at every house. Each home has its own dedicated karaoke machine. That's how much this woman loves.

I literally have ADD I have to do things. Which is also why just big shout out to Jackie Koch, who is our Candy Cane Olympics ringleader. She literally creates it, puts it all together every year. This is the second year we've done it, and it is so much fun. It's just a bunch of games on Christmas Day that she puts together that we compete for. And I think that that has made Christmas, like, a hundred times more fun for everyone.

Totally. Like, all those Instagram games that you see, that's Jackie putting all those things together.

So much fun.

So listen, we're kind of coming up on the new year, at least of the time that we're recording this thing, and Lori and I were reflecting on some of the people that we've got some collaborations coming up with this year. People that were like, oh, we've got a podcast with so and so, or we've got this getaway with so and so. And it made us stop and say, my God, I cannot believe who our circle of friends and partners is. Like, just one of those moments of gratitude. Like, this is insane that these are the people that we have plans with. And. And then, almost like clockwork, I was kind of scrolling through Instagram. Shortly after that, I came across somebody had shared a post that I did, you know, maybe four weeks ago. And it was a clip of Lori and I talking at Keisha's event. Empower her. It's an awesome event where we were saying, stop fighting to, like, get in with the in crowd, whoever you perceive that to be right now, and start fighting to rise up with the peers that you have right now, because they're about to be the very next in crowd, the very next it kids, right? And it was the culmination of those two things happening within, like, an hour of each other. Us just being like, wow, massive gratitude for who our circle of friends is right now, but then also laying that lesson out there for people to Understand, like, sure, there's some other people that might be able to maybe help your career a little bit here or give you a little boost here or there's a. But it's gonna go by in the blink of an eye. And all of a sudden, all of your peers right now, the people who are getting started, they're two years in, three years in, four years in, they're gonna be the superstars that everyone's wishing that they knew. And you're going to know them if right now those are the ones that you're trying to collaborate with.

Yeah. So instead of thinking about, how can I get on that person's stage, how can I get into this circle of influence? And wondering why you can't break into these things. And one of the things I do want to say about that is these people that you're viewing as mentors or putting on a pedestal or people who are like, have already built a really large career. I will tell you, just from experience of even being around them later in my life and now, like, having the business that I've always dreamed of, there's just not time for these people to add more people to their lives. And the other thing.

So you're fighting a lost cause.

So you're fighting kind of. Yeah, like this lost caused that they can't add more people. They're already at their max of who they're gonna spend time with and what their business plans are. They might have their whole year already planned out of who they're gonna collaborate with and what that looks like. Like, they've been making relationships for years with people that they came up with. And so when Chris and I figured this out earlier on in our careers, we were like, you know, why are we fighting to get in with these people? Let's just start collabing with these other people who are at our level. And I always talk about this because when they interview all of these YouTubers who came up pret. They came up all together, they were like, what was the secret? How did you guys get these millions and million hundreds of millions of followers together? And they're like, you know, we didn't have them to start. We literally just kept collabing and collabing and collabing and collabing. And because we were all putting so much effort into growth, you would just grow off of each other over and over. And if you look at some of the stages that Chris and I are on right now or podcast that we're on, these were people that we were in Masterminds with seven and eight years.

Ago, nine years ago even.

Yes. Oh, my God.

I've got to tell this story. So it's a fascinating story. You know, Lori and I, our very first mastermind, not our first one ever, but the first one that we really spent a lot of time in and really spent a few years in, was Lewis Howe's mastermind, the very first year that he rolled it out. So picture this. Lewis, at the time, I remember, had something like 240,000 followers. Now he's got millions and millions and millions. Right? And I'm going to share some numbers with you guys just so you have some context of how everybody kind of comes up together. And he rolls out the first year ever of his mastermind, which doesn't exist anymore, and had invited us, hey, guys, I'm putting this thing together. Would you be interested in being a part of it? And we're like, heck, yeah, that sounds amazing. So we show up to the mastermind, not sure who's going to be in it, and we look over and we meet this incredible woman who's starting to do pretty well in the course creation world. Used to be a photographer named Jenna Kutcher. And then we look over and here's Cole Hatter, who crushes it in the real estate world. And we look over and here's Jim Quick, who, you know, now has millions and millions and millions of followers. As you know, he's renowned as the world's most foremost learning and brain expert. And at the time, you know, he hadn't written his book yet. The podcast wasn't up yet. None of these things were, like, existing yet. But he was in the room. Bill Glaser, before he started Outstanding Foods.

Jasmine Star.

Jasmine Star. Like, everybody was in this first year mastermind together. And we're a bunch of newbies that were two years in, three years into what we were doing, and each had a little bit of momentum. Matter of fact, it was that year that was the first year I met Jay Shetty. And I remember he had just 107,000 followers. Let that sink in. He's got like 11 million right now on Instagram. He had 107,000 followers that year. Wow. The first year we met him. Isn't that wild? So this is just six, seven years ago. I wish I could remember the year. I think this was 2015. I think this was 2015, was that first year I could be off by a year. So, like, let that sink in. Why do I share this example? Right now, you're hesitant about getting into a room, but the people in that room are tomorrow's superstars. Right now, you're hesitant if you want to share your audience with somebody else, but sharing your audience and each other's audience is the shortcut to coming up together. Like the YouTuber example that Lori gave. Right now, you're hesitant to make that investment in that coach or that mastermind or. Or to create your own, oh, gosh, if I put it together, you know, who would really show up except somebody else just like you at the same stage as you. They're going to put together their own right now. And guess what? Three, four or five years down the road, that room is going to be the one that spawned all of those superstars that are all collaborating together. So it's going to happen this year that 10, 15, 20 people absolutely pop off into stardom, and you're gonna be like, I didn't hear these people before. And then next year, there's gonna be 10, 15, 20 more people, new people that pop off into stardom. And you're like, wait, I've never heard of them before. And then the year after that, there's gonna be 10, 15, 20 new people that pop off into stardom. You're like, wait, where these people come from? And the answer is, they're all around you right now. But you're not gonna pop off with them if you're not intentionally collaborating. You're not gonna pop off with them if you're not making a proactive effort at building those relationships. You're not going to pop off with them if you are not, you know, applying the laws of reciprocity and saying, how can I help this person? What could I do to help their audience, their message? Get out there more.

2024, pop off.

Well, it's true. You're looking up when you should be looking to your left and you should be looking to your right. And you should be looking at who's in front of you and looking at who's behind you and saying, wait, this is the circle of influence that I could come up with and be that next group of budding superstars. Yeah.

And, you know, if you're like, okay, well, where do I find them? Yes, there is. The entire point of it is the mentors that you have, the careers that you want. It's in the rooms that they're curious.

Because they attract the new about to.

Be superstars, because the about to Be superstars want to emulate their career. And so that is where we have always, always found our.

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Yeah, I want to touch on that one more time. I mean, this is really crucial to realize. So the people that you're looking up to right now, you're like, oh, I want a career like that person, or I want influence like that person, or I want to be able to create as much impact as that person. They're putting together rooms that are attracting the people that want careers just like theirs. And so therefore, how do you find tomorrow's superstars? You just go to those rooms. You get into those events. I don't care if it's a $200 event ticket at somebody's next event. There's going to be people there that are looking up to them, that are going to emulate their career or whether it's a five figure mastermind and you spend all year together. The people are already putting together the rooms that are attracting tomorrow's superstars. And that's the shortcut to collaborating with them.

And you need to be able to look at your calendar and know that you have one or three of those in your calendar so that you're constantly growing. And you and I are always looking at each other going, do we have next people that we need to be hanging out with or getting in their rooms or getting into their environment or learning from even? You and I are going to be picking out some books that we want to listen to this year. We're going to be picking out some rooms that we want to be in. We're going to be picking out some dinners that we are going to be creating. We do this, you guys, all on the new year as well. So that's going to be something that you and I are doing coming up.

Well, we do it for our peers right now. So we'll create a getaway for our peers. We'll create dinners for our peers. When I say getaway, like, hey, let's just go rent out the meeting room at this resort and let's all go there for two nights, three days and talk about how we can lift up each other's business. Like putting those things together is an example of coming up with your peers instead of saying, oh gosh, I wish Tony Robbins would notice me, or do you know what I mean? Like that kind of thing. Anyhow, hopefully this gives you guys some ideas as to not wasting today wishing that you were in a certain group. But instead utilizing today, realizing that everybody around you, those are the next IT kids. And if you spend your time and energy helping to lift them up and curate collisions with those individuals, then tomorrow's gonna come in the blink of an eye, and you're gonna be in that circle right along with them.

So we're putting together one of those rooms which we're so excited about. This is one of our favorite things to do. It is called the Dinner series, and there are only a few seats left.

Literally only a few of them for this first event. We had a set number on this first event, and we wanted to make sure that we didn't overdo it on the first event so we can curate that perfect room with the perfect collisions and in it, it's going to be a half a day, three times a year, right? So there's one on February 1, there's one at the end of May, and then there's one in November. So three times a year, it's a half a day of straight networking with people who are going to be the next superstars, literally. And current superstar, like, awesome fun friends of ours as well are in there. And so straight networking, like unapologetic networking. Here's what I'm good at, here's what I'm doing, here's what I'm up to, but here's what I need. And it's the exchange of these favors, and it's the exchange of these healthy collisions that's going to lift everybody up. And then it's followed by a bonding dinner, because my business partner Matt would not exist without a dinner. And so many of your friends and people that you collaborate with, Lori wouldn't exist without bonding over dinners. And that's why we called it the Dinner Series. It's going to be fun. It's going to be elegant, it's going to be upscale, but it's going to be really powerful. And it's going to be the fastest way to make our network your new network, literally overnight. So if you want one of those last seats, really easy, hit pause and go over to chrisharder me dinner or loriharder.com dinner. They'll both take you there. Chrisharder me dinner or Loriharder.com dinner. And I think there's even one VIP spot left. That's it. All right, guys, thanks for listening. Love and appreciate you.

We'll see you next week.