The 4 Human Conditions Sabotaging Your Business

This podcast is brought to you by Shopify Northwest Registered Agent, Working Genius. Bravo and Indeed. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today@shopify.com happy. Protect your privacy, build your brand, and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit www.northwestregisteredagent.com forward/earfree Confidence isn't pretending to be good at everything. It's knowing where you're truly gifted. Take the Working Genius assessment today and get 20% off with code earn@workinggenius.com Are you ready to take your business marketing to the next level? Meet Breville. Just head to www.brevo.com happy and take your marketing further. With Brevo and Aura, spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. Now. Indeed Sponsored jobs. Go to indeed.compodcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. The thing that we've been set up to believe our entire lives is that we're chasing this happy life, right? When you're married, you're finally going to be happy. And then you're like, well, maybe I should have kids. And then you're like, wait, I'm still not as fulfilled or happy every single day of my life as I thought I'm supposed to be. And then you're like, maybe I'm supposed to be a successful entrepreneur. And then you start a business and you realize that your business can actually make you really unhappy. And then you're like, wait a minute, I have all of these things and all of a sudden I'm not as happy as I thought I should be. We shouldn't necessarily be chasing happiness. We should be chasing something meaningful.

And we're back with another episode of.

He Said, she Said.

Before we get started, we got to celebrate literally one spot left in our elite entrepreneur mastermind. Just one. Just one.

So excited. I'm excited because now we can see all the faces and the names of the people who are moving forward with us this year. And that is, I mean, I think the most exciting part for Chris and I is to know all of your faces, all of your businesses, what we know we can help you with and what we also know, after curating this group, what all of them can help you with. So I would say if you're ready for massive accountability, strategy and a place that you know you're going to need to show up, this is the room for you.

And we've remodeled it a little bit this year so that it's the most intimate hands on Mastermind. I think that's probably out there at this level. I feel very confident saying that. Right. We sacrifice tons of revenue to make it a little bit more intimate and to design it so it's more hands on. And I'm really excited about that. So no wonder that it sold so quickly. One spot left if you guys want. If first of all you have to earn over $500,000 a year to even apply in your business. Most people are seven and eight figure businesses in here. But if you want to crack at that last spot, our kickoff call is really, really soon. So all you have to do is go to chrisharder me, mastermind or lorihuder.com mastermind either one. Go to lorihuder.com mastermind fill out the app, we'll jump on Zoom real quick and we'll see if that last spot is a perfect fit for you. Now there's these human conditions that you and I were talking about. We just flew back from a cool visit at Moms or we're talking on the airplane about, oh man, it's hard to battle the human condition sometimes. And like the prehistoric parts of us that are built into us, old, old, old survival and stuff, those things really hamper an entrepreneur. It gets really difficult to operate sometimes based on our base human programming. But there's always a two edged sword. Double edged sword, right? There's a negative side to our human programming and there is a positive side. And we wanted to kind of examine each of those and teach you how to use these in your favor and how to mitigate any of the challenges for these four human conditions. So you can actually be a lot better entre, not a little bit better entrepreneur, but a lot better entrepreneur. And so the first one is the happiness trap.

So the happiness trap, it kind of is like the thing that we've been set up to believe our entire lives is that we're chasing this happy life, right? When you're married, you're finally going to be happy and then you get married and you're like, okay, like this is great, but I feel like I'm still not that happy all the time.

And then you should know, here we're on a path.

Here we're on a path. Don't throw me off. And then you're like, well, maybe I should have kids. And then you're like, wait, I'm still not as fulfilled or happy every single day in my life as I thought I'm supposed to be. And Then you're like, maybe I'm supposed to be a successful entrepreneur. And then you start a business and you realize that your business can actually make you really unhappy. And then you're like, wait a minute, I have all of these things and all of a sudden I'm not as happy as I thought I should be. Number one, the human condition is that we are literally not wired to be happy all the time. It is one emotion in the range of emotions that we are meant to experience. So one of the things that can really help all of us with this is knowing that we shouldn't necessarily be chasing happiness. We should be chasing something meaningful. So when you go back and you look at, is my marriage meaningful? Are we spending time with each other and growing each other? Are we going through challenging things together because we want a meaningful life that's full of richness and depth and learning and growth and experiencing things together, the highs and the lows. Then you're like, wow, I did it. I have a meaningful marriage now with kids. I also know I have a lot of friends with children who are like, look, if you're looking to find happiness from children, you typically aren't going to be your happiest until after they're grown, they're gone, you know, they're doing okay, and even then you're still going to worry about them all of the time. So if you're like chasing happiness with kids or hoping your kids make you happy, you're going to be terribly unhappy, if that's the expectation. Now, if you're chasing meaning and you want to help guide somebody who is going to, you know, get the most out of life, and you want to make sure that you can just give them all of the love and guidance and maybe the things that you didn't have growing up, now that means something to you, then that becomes fulfilling because you're creating meaning. Now. If you're in a business and you're like, wow, I wake up every single day and there's a headache, there's a fire, clearly this is not going to mean that you're going to wake up happy every single day. But if you are chasing having a meaningful business that helps people, that is helping you grow, and that your whole purpose on the planet is to evolve and become the highest level version of yourself, now we have a much more interesting life rather than if you're chasing happiness with those things, I hate to tell you, but it's not going to feel very happy majority of the time. But if you're chasing meaning you are going to feel very fulfilled and like you are hitting that requirement in your life.

Yeah. Here's where I see the happiness trap creeping in for entrepreneurs. They usually quit too early or they pivot too early, or they say, oh, this isn't working, or, I'm not good at this, because day in and day out, the actions of their business, because they have to wear all these different hats, especially in the beginning, isn't making them happy. And it is one of the most disempowering beliefs to expect that you are entitled to be happy while building your business. I know this isn't the good news you want to hear, but once you understand the field you're on, then game on, right? Everyone's on the same playing field. And the truth is, one of the most disempowering beliefs is that you're supposed to feel happy all the time while you're building your business. Now, here's a great reframe for you. You gotta flip it from I'll be happy when. Right? I'll be happy when I sell this business. I'll be happy when it launches. I'll be happy when we hit a million dollars of sales, whatever it might be. You gotta switch from I'll be happy when to I'm happy because now this small reframe is much bigger than it sounds. I'm happy because I'm working towards the future. I'm happy because this is the business that'll sell one day. I'm happy because I get to wake up and have purpose every day. I'm happy because, well, without challenge, life would be boring. So when you switch from I'll be happy when to I'm happy because that small reframe is very, very powerful. Powerful for entrepreneurs.

You know, I'm thinking just about days when it's like, hey, how was your day? Hey, were you happy today? Like, was it good? I think that's a challenging question as well. Of course. It's a beautiful question. I ask my husband this all the time, but at the same time, it's really like, who you get to become today? Oh, you had some really challenging calls all day. Oh, you had some really, like, hard conversations that you had to have. Who did you get to become today? And this is something that, you know, if. If Chris asked me this on a walk, I'd be like, wow, I actually got to become the person who has a backbone today. I got to become the woman who has massive boundaries and had to let go of somebody liking her today and still, like herself.

Yeah, so here's one more small reframe, then we'll move on to the next human condition. But this one's really powerful. You've got to stop expecting that the actions you need to do day in and day out are going to make you happy. And instead realize the reason you're doing those actions is what will make you happy. The actions probably aren't going to make you happy. The reason you have to do those actions, that's what you tap into that'll make you happy. All right, what's the next human condition that we're programmed with that works against us?

Okay, number two is I'll be ready when. And I see this with everybody. I see this in myself. I'll be ready when I finish that course. I'll be ready when I study more reels on Instagram and save more to the thing, get the certification and graduate from college. Whatever it is you guys that you are waiting to be ready for, it's actually never going to happen. Because if this is your mentality, I can tell you right now, you're probably going to be a person who's never going to be ready. Which means that you just have to switch your mentality, that's all. Is that you are going to learn while you're in the action, and it's not going to be fun. I just put out a post saying, you know, the level of embarrassment and resistance and judgment that you can handle is going to be directly tied to the amount of money that you can make. It's because you are going to be learning in front of everyone. Whether you've got the certification, whether you've got the degree, whatever it is, you still have to start before you feel ready. So I always think it's more important to start long before some of those things. In whatever capacity that you can have to start gaining the experience. Because no matter what, experience is going to be where you're going to learn the most.

If you think that you are starting your business or growing your business for the wins that are going to be down the road, then you're never going to feel ready. But if you are in it for the growth, then you're going to feel ready right now. Because just getting out there and then getting feedback causes growth. And so I forget the saying. There's a saying out there. There's something like, if you're in it for the wins, you'll never find them. If you're in it for the growth, everything's a win. I'm butchering it. But this is the same thing with you'll be ready when you're never gonna feel ready. If you're like, okay, I'm ready to make this thing a win. But you're immediately gonna feel ready if it's okay, I'm ready to test the market and get the feedback. And that's the point of view that you have to do when you get in business. Because no matter what you think you've perfected, you're gonna get feedback and you're gonna have to make some changes and some tweaks and some pivots, and so race to get that feedback instead of waiting till you'll be ready.

So number three is the need to control. And this one is also a really big part of when everything is in control. That's when I feel good, when everything is under my control, that's when I feel safest. And so what we want to do is we want to switch that mentality because it's super common, especially among entrepreneurs. And again, if you're waiting to feel in control of everything, you're never going to feel that, so you're never going to feel safe. And so we want to switch this to self trust. Like, even if it's not in my control, I trust myself enough to know that whatever comes up, whether it's in or out of my control, I know how to handle it. So it's just kind of a massive mental pivot that you have to make is instead of needing to control every situation and have it go your way, really putting that level of self trust going, okay, I've been through a lot that hasn't been in my control. And I've always been able to navigate it. I've always been able to figure it out. And honestly, the more that you can put up with that, that's out of your control, that's when you start getting a superpower. The more that you can know whatever is going to come at you, you can decide how you're going to respond rather than just react to it. Like, give yourself time to think, give yourself time to know that if you sit with it, if you ask enough people, if you sit with your intuition, if you really think about it, you're going to get the answer. And I actually think that when things are out of control is when you grow your faith muscle and your self trust muscle the most.

Yeah, control creates your ceiling. I got to say that again, guys, control creates your ceiling. Whatever level of control you insist on having, that's the height of your ceiling and you're not your Business is not going to go any higher than that. And control is actually a completely false construct. Listen, we are spinning a million miles an hour, hurtling through space on a rock that somehow this magical thing called gravity is holding us stuck to untrust. And you think you've got control. You don't have control over anything. You might import products and think, all right, I've got my margins dialed in, I'm in control. And then there's great big tariffs slapped on them. You might think, oh, I'm in control. I've got the perfect C suite hired and everyone's gelling, and then somebody quits or somebody passes away. You might think that you're in total control and you've got the trending product, and then the trend immediately changes because of some kind of social cause or social something. You are in control of nothing. It is a false construct. And the sooner that you switch it to, okay, what should I be in control of and what should I give up control of? Because I don't really have control over much anyways. And when you start making the list of what can I delegate, what can I hire out, what can I trade out, what can I trust somebody else to do a pretty good job at instead of insisting on me doing a perfect job at, that's when you'll remove and bust through that ceiling that's holding you back right now and is a guaranteed recipe for burnout.

I talk about the importance of sleep and reaching your goals all the time on this podcast, but I also know that you're probably wound pretty tight like I am, and you might have trouble transitioning from your daytime to your nighttime. So I added something that I absolutely love because, you know, skincare is a big thing for me in 2026. And I love Ocia's dream collection. It's really helped change that for me. Ocia's Dream Night Serum and Dream Night Cream are clinically tested formulas powered by bio retinol and designed to reduce the visible effects of stress on your skin. While you slee. You guys know that I am all about making the things you're already doing work for you, so why not make this work for you in your sleep? So I love this because it really helps me wind down, not only because of this beautiful scent and how it feels on my skin, but I'm really loving that. It's something that supports my nighttime ritual while I sleep, and it helps me settle in for the night because my skin feels so good. And again, it's got that nice lavender scent that I Always associate to nighttime sleep because skincare truly is self care, you guys. So osea's newest product in the dream collection is the Dream Bio Retinol Body Serum. And let me tell you, skincare for me this year is not just about my face, it's about my whole body. So you should make this a key part of your personal body care routine, just like I am. And I think you're going to fall in love with it. So it's a full body restorative treatment that visibly de stresses the skin with a holistic blend of bioretinol, red seaweed, magnesium and lavender. I think the second that you put it on, you're going to feel the difference just like I did and you're going to see the difference. I mean, talk about looking like glass skin. I literally put it on and actually feel like I want to go somewhere because my skin looks so plump and hydrated and youthful. So you guys give your skin a rest with clean, clinically tested skin care from osea. And right now we have a special discount just for our listeners. Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code earn@ocmullibu.com and and trust me, you're gonna love this so much, you're gonna wanna buy one for your friends. When you're growing a company, you know that you need good people around you in order to get to the next level. And right now there's a talented person out there who could take your company to the place that you want. But the question is, do you wanna just hope that they see your job posts before your competitors or do you wanna match with them using indeed sponsored jobs? If I had to hire someone for the show tomorrow, I wouldn't mess around with candidates who look decent on paper but don't even get what I do. I'd want somebod worked in podcasting and editing and software and understands workflow and can jump in and not only do the job well, but help take us to where we want to go. That's why I use Indeed sponsored jobs. They help you find people who actually fit what you're looking for. Stop struggling to get your job post even seen on other sites. With sponsored jobs, your post is boosted to reach quality candidates, the kind of people who can help your business thrive and drive the results that you need. And the best part is you only pay for results. In fact, sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed are 95% more likely to reach report a hire than non sponsored jobs. So if you're hiring Indeed is all you need. And I like those stats. So spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. Now with Indeed Sponsored Jobs and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves@indie.com podcast just go to indie.com podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Ind Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com podcast terms and conditions apply. Hiring do it the Right Way with Indeed for anyone that doesn't know me, I have started a lot of businesses and I will tell you that every single one came with so many worries and so many fears. It can be really terrifying because there are so many questions that you don't have the answer to. What if no one listens to my podcast? What if nobody buys my products? And I am so grateful that I have started all of them, especially glossy and that I believed in the launch of my products. Because despite all the fears and hesitations, it also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side. And Shopify is what I use for glossy so you can get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand's style. Accelerate your efficiency. Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer service. It's time to turn those what if gifts into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that's shopify.com happy okay, number four is the comparison loop and this one is really robbing you of any sort of success that you have ever had and you ever will have. And this is huge for achievers. This is huge for Chris and I. We can literally feel like we're doing great one day and terrible the next depending upon how many hours we've spent on social media. And I think that you really have to decide what a good life means to you. And I'm really in this place in my life right now going what? What does it mean to have a great day, a great life, a great social circle and have a really meaningful life? And so whenever I'm looking at someone who has more, who's doing more, instead of just looking at them and getting jealous. I'm like, there's always a sacrifice, no matter what. So to the person you're seeing, go everywhere and do everything and, you know, blow up and have maybe everything you think you want, there's such a massive sacrifice that you also have to compare yourself to. Are you ready to be on a plane three times a week? Are you ready to sleep in a hotel room in a different city multiple nights a week away from your friends and your family and, you know, let go of the thought of having community every single day and a nice routine? Because there's always something that if you're going to compare your life to someone, compare it to what their schedule looks like and the amount of pressure they deal with, the amount of criticism they deal with, the amount of shit in their inbox that they deal with, the amount of customer service that they deal with. Don't just compare to the highlight reel. It's so helpful to say, is this a trade that I'm willing to make?

Yeah. Comparison is so damaging because naturally we over romanticize somebody else's situation and we under romanticize our own. We can only see what we're missing. We can only see what's not going our way. We can only see the problems that we had to sort through today. And those, unfortunately, in our human brains outweigh the things that are silent but are going in your favor. Think about this. If you're really healthy right now, you're not probably thinking as you're listening to this, hey, I'm really healthy right now. This is great. You're probably thinking, oh, God, when this episode's done, I know I've got to make that sales call, or when this episode's done, I know I've got to go in and do those chores. Right. You're only thinking about the problem coming up or facing you right now. You're not thinking about the silent advantages you have. You're not sitting there saying, saying, wait, I've got $25,000 in the bank account right now. I'm so grateful for that. No, you're not. You're thinking, oh, sales are down. How am I going to fix this? So it's a natural human condition to under romanticize your current situation and to over romanticize somebody else's situation because of what Lori said. You can't see the unseeable. You can't see with their customer service issues, you can't see their product issues, you can't see their stocking issues, you can't see their spousal issues or their friend problems or that social media is bullying them or the DMs they're getting. You can't see any of that. And so you only see the shiny part. And it's not even them only sharing the shiny part of their lives. It's you looking at everybody else saying, oh, look at that jet they ride in. That must be, oh, look at that home they're in. That must be nice. Oh, look at that car they're driving. Must be nice. Or look at the outfit she's wearing. It must be nice. And at the same time, that person might be dealing with a terminally ill child that they're not talking about. That person might be dealing with a sick parent they're not talking about. They might be dealing with, with terrible recalls on their product they're not talking about. They might be dealing with their funnel that was once working, completely collapsing and not printing sales anymore that they're not talking about because they're in hustle mode trying to solve or salvage or fix those things. And so stop under romanticizing your situation and over romanticizing other people's situation. That is comparison. And it's guaranteed to rob you of reality because the reality is you have more things going in your favor than you think.

Think.

And other people have less wins than you're giving them credit for.

I just want to add, I think it is really important to schedule in things that truly make you happy every week, you guys, especially as an entrepreneur. It's easy for me to actually get on this microphone and say, yeah, don't chase happiness because it's really hard. And stay in the hard and pickleball. I think it's most important to also go, hey, where is something that I truly do feel in flow? I feel happy. Everything kind of melts away. I feel peaceful. I think that is extremely important to make sure you have at least every other week in there.

Yeah, absolutely. All right, guys, thanks for listening. We love and appreciate you. Don't forget, we are down to our very, very, very, very last spot in our elite entrepreneur mastermind. For anyone earning $500,000 or more, this is where you get one on one coaching from Lori and I. This is where you get the lift of the entire group working on your business. This is where you lock arms and you have, you know, all these other ride or dies that you wouldn't have otherwise for one year, where you guys are giving each other exposure, introductions, tips, you name it. This is the greatest container that you could possibly wish to be in. If you're a seven or eight figure business right now. This thing's over. Rush over to loriharder.com mastermind click on the elite entrepreneur Mastermind. Fill out the app and we will see who gets that very last spot.

I'm so excited. I hope it's you.