The Art of Cultivating A Thriving Community | Living Room Session With Katrina Scott, Founder Of Live Beautifully

If you are not living how you need to live, then you're not doing anyone a service of community. So to really serve community, you need to grow.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the show. Before we get started, I don't know about you, but I need a little summer reset. I am definitely in the full swing of social time activities, family time, and being at our lake house for the months of July and August. And let me tell you, it is not the easiest to stay in my routine now. Totally worth it. But I also have to do a couple extra things to make sure that I still feel good and feel like me. And one of the easiest hacks that I have done, also something that's so incredible for my skin, which I am all about taking care of right now, is lemon water. And you guys, it is like the most basic hack that you can do to hydrate yourself, to feel a little bit better and to lay a really good foundation in the morning. Not to mention it is one of the best things you can possibly consume for your skin. Did you know that your body actually requires vitamin C to make its own collagen? And when you don't have it present, you don't make as much collagen, which is responsible for your skin elasticity for that plump juiciness, hydration look, which I know that we're all after, especially because I live in the desert part of the year. And you guys, all you have to do is DM me the word lemon on Instagram and I am going to send you seven of my super easy lemon recipes. Some of them are all about inflammation and bloating. I don't know about you, but we live on a boat on the weekends, essentially, and I like to feel my best. And some of the foods that I'm eating and some of the cocktails I'm drinking can tend to make me a little more inflamed.

So.

So I am all about that lemon water life during the week and I end up feeling incredible. So go DM me the word lemon on Instagram and you'll see all of the benefits. I don't like to just to talk about it, but I'm going to show you all of the benefits of why, which always motivates me to want to continue the habit. And you guys, today on the podcast is one of my favorite ways to podcast, and that is the living room sessions. If you don't know what this is, one day me and my bestie, Lindsay Schwartz said, hey, what if podcasting could look way more fun? What if work life could look way more fun. What if we could do it together? What if we could get a group of women together and just have some of the best conversations we've ever had, record them and get all of our content. So this is what the Living Room Sessions came out of. Sometimes we invite amazing, special, epic guests and sometimes we do them just together alone and have the time of our lives in front of a live audience. And I love it because it's a little bit different. Obviously, when you're with people and you're in front of a group, it brings out a different side of your personality. And I really feel like this brings out the best in both Lindsay and I, because we just love to be together. We love to joke around, we get a little bit sassy, we drink a little bit of wine. I don't know, it's just like some of the best times that I have ever had while working, if you can even call it that. And in this particular Living Room session, we are talking all about building a community and just all of the different things that can go with it and why that is so incredibly important. And we brought one of our most incredible friends, Katrina Scott, who is just one of the most epic, most well known in the fitness community. Not only that, she is launching a clothing and swimsuit line right now. She is one of those people who is multi talented. She is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. She's a New York Times bestseller. She is a mom. She is a genius, brilliant woman and incredible friend. And I'm so grateful for her. And you guys, let's get in to this episode. So, you guys, I want to start off because I feel like you two ladies are some of the best community builders that I have ever met in my entire life. For sure. Yes. Is this a true statement? And I want to ask you, I feel like there's two communities. The community of your own personal support system and then the community around your brand. So let's start with the personal community. I want to know, Linds, for you, when did your personal community come into play? Did you always have it? Did you struggle with it? What did it look like then and now?

Well, I feel like the whole reason I started a community was because I was looking for community and I have this really sexy, raspy voice tonight. Do you guys like it? I'm like an 80 year old man. I have throat lozenges in my pocket. Yeah. So I was craving community and I was craving a specific kind of community. And sometimes when you can't find what you're Looking for it is because you're meant to create it. But as the community grew, I stepped into more of the role as, you know, the leader of the community, for lack of a better term. And I realized that I still needed that circle of women where I could maybe just vent about the harder stuff that I wasn't going to. I fully believe in authenticity, but I also don't believe that every challenge is meant to be necessarily processed in real time with the people that you're serving. So it's taken a while. And I think the important thing that I want to say is that as I've grown, the people who maybe were a really big part of my circle in one season, then maybe our relationship evolved a little bit, and they're still people that are a part of my life, but the role that they play in my life has evolved, and that part has probably been the toughest. Finding the people, but also being honest about who I need in that season and letting it be okay that some relationships were going to evolve. Some brought us closer, like, you and I really connected through a lot of these seasons. And then others have just evolved where we're still, like, growing together but not as in touch. And that was the part, like, that's probably been the hardest part, if we're honest. I think that's, like, a fear for a lot of us is what happens when we start to outgrow the people that were once, like, our ride or dies, or we just start to not outgrow them, like, we're better than them, but maybe it's just not serving exactly what you need in that moment. So I've really found a lot of my people by joining masterminds or coming to things like this and noticing where there was an energy match. I think that's been the biggest thing for me, is just letting it be okay that, like, my energy is drawn to certain people and what they're up to more than others and leaning in and really pouring in, nurturing the relationships that feel like that.

Oh, I love that. Kat, how about you with your personal community?

It's interesting that you asked that, because I've had a lot of the same girlfriends. We just celebrated 20 years. Oh, my God. That's awesome. Yeah. So we can always depend on each other, show up for each other. Actually, two days ago, I was like, I have to prepare for this event that I'm doing with Lori, and it was my girlfriend's birthday, and she's like, okay, quick lunch. And we were out for eight hours.

We all have those Things really quick.

Yeah, all three meals.

I was just so excited to be out of the house.

Like, no.

What are you doing for dinner in an hour?

Well, Brian texted me. Brian's my husband. He was like, hey, don't hurry home. And I was like, okay, say less. So sometimes you don't really realize how much you need that personal community, no matter how much you feel like you are fulfilled, is that when you do have people that know you for a long time. So that personal support system, that personal community is really special. And there's that. I don't know if you. If everyone's into, like, TikTok and real sounds, but it's.

I think maybe Jennifer. I think it's safe.

And it's Jennifer Aniston. And she, you know, she's just like, I'm okay. I got my girls. And so sometimes you can go through so much, but whether it's girlfriends of 20 years or it's your mom, if you're lucky that she's with you, and that is such a blessing, or it's girlfriends of 14 years, 15 years, or. Well, we were talking about how we were a little tipsy, like, in 2019 together, but that was our first meeting. Yeah, but newer girlfriends where, you know, I've called on you, and you've been so encouraging for a lot of things now. So. So, yeah, personal community is good, but it's really important. Sometimes you don't realize how much you need it.

I love that. Personal community, for me, has been such an evolution, such a. To be completely honest, it's been such a struggle for me through the years, and now it's easy. So I want to share that with everyone who might be struggling right now. So anybody who's like, oh, I don't. I don't feel like I have that yet. I've learned a couple things about building community for where you want to go. And also I want to share, like, sometimes with community. When Lindsay had mentioned this, one really hit for me when you had said, we build what we need. So I needed community. So I built it for other people, but never built myself into it. So I remember being on stage at Bliss Project, like, on maybe the first or second one, and all these women, I had broken them out, and they were all crying and hugging, and I was like, I don't have that, and I keep building it for other people. And what also happened, I did a lot of coaching around. It was. I was feeling a big void in my life. I was like, I think I just need to speak on more Stages. I think I just need to grow my community more. I think I just need to launch something again. I was like, I just was feeling empty. Does anybody understand that? Like, raise your hand if you're like, I just think I need more of this. Like, you just want to be out there more, have a bigger community. And I realized I was relying on my community for my personal comfort and my validation over the fact that I should be building that support system internally for me. So that was a big eye opening moment for me is that I wasn't willing to get vulnerable enough with women in order to create that. So I started to get vulnerable and build community for myself and it was totally game changing. And now there's a, it's a formula. You need to go through a mutual experience together. Like Kat, actually right now we're building girlfriends in business, the event. And I feel like I've gotten so much closer to you because of that. We did an event together. We got so much closer because of that. So if you think about how you get friends in school, from when you're little to when you're older, you guys are sharing a mutual experience. So it's like, how can you find a mutual experience to share and then also open up. When they ask you, how are you? Don't say, fine, how are you? And flip it on them, right? You say, you actually say how you are and rely on them for whatever, ask them questions for whatever that answer is. So that's been my experience with personal community and now it is. It's always a risk. So if you're like, oh, I don't know, I've had a bad experience. It's always a risk if you're getting involved with anyone because you don't ever know how it will turn out. But I will tell you, it's always worth it because you either get something amazing or you learn, right? And then it makes that next, you know, relationship that much better. 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That's such a good point too. Where there's so many pivotal moments in life where we are just put in a place, and it's like, that's your community. First grade, you're all starting together.

Yes. Welcome to your people.

Maybe college. You know, you're put in a dorm or a new job. A lot of people still have their very best friends from, like, their first job, not their second, third, or whatever, but, you know, those. Or an internship or something. But it gets harder when you're older. So that's such a good point is like, you know, why don't we just do a big event this weekend together and get closer?

So there you go, guys. Growing event with someone that you don't really know, and then it's going to be great.

So.

So is there anywhere right now that you guys are trying to support yourself more in personal community? Like, is there something that when your life is maybe challenged or anything like that, you're like, okay, I know that I need to support myself in this way. How do you build it into your life to make sure that you have it, or is that kind of natural for you both?

Ooh, that's such a good question. Okay, so I feel like the blessing of, like, the world that we're in is we're constantly getting to connect with amazing women and, you know, feel where there's the vibe and where there's maybe not so much or just, like, be inspired around different areas of life. But there are certain things that, like, I want for my future that, like, I don't necessarily have those things in my community right now and seeking them out and really intentionally seeking out, you know, who are the mentors, the people who are further along than me in that area. And I like the way that they approach this area. And I. I want to aspire to be like that. And for me right now, one is motherhood, honestly. And that's not something, like, I talk super openly about, but there's a specific way that I really aspire to have motherhood be a part of my story and being intentional with seeking out examples of how that is possible. So same thing for business. You can build a community with people where you bond over the fact that it's hard and a lot of the conversation is kind of negative. You can bond over anything. A shared challenge or your shared commitment to superseding that challenge. So I've just noticed how important that is for me. But when I go into, like, different seasons, I do think really intentionally about, like, what kind of support do I need right now and do I have that in my life? And if not, usually it just starts. I don't know if any of you have like, Internet besties that they don't know. Your friends? Just me.

Okay.

Thank goodness, right? Just literally people who you're like, I may never meet them, but they show me what's possible. And my community includes my Internet besties who have no idea that I exist.

That is so true. How about you?

I always find whatever I need whenever I give it first. Then I end up receiving it if I want. So kind of like what you were saying too? A lot of the times as women, we're so. We take pride in being selfless. We take pride. And doors always open. We take pride in completely foregoing everything for ourselves and giving everything to everyone else. But at the end, you end up feeling really depleted and then you feel there's nothing left for you. And who's a mom in here? I mean, hello, that's what motherhood is. And then when they're 18, we're like, oh, it must be over. And then it's like, no, Then you're dealing with the real.

Really?

Am I right? Anyone with over 18 year old kids.

Okay.

Apparently that's when it gets really serious. So it's not really the poopy diapers. That's the serious part. It's when they're adults. And then you're dealing with adult problems when you're an older adult.

Yeah.

And then they're shitting their pants because they're like, fuck, I gotta get a new job. I swear.

You can swear.

We find it makes it better if.

We do, I forget to watch it.

That's what Natalie Ellis told us.

So this will be an R. What is it called? An R rated podcast.

Explicit Triple X.

It's not there yet.

From what I hear. It gets harder. And even my mom is still very much parenting myself and my brother. And she's amazing. I just sent her a video in the green room. As you were like talking out here, I'm like, hey, mom. And I was like, don't show dad, I'm wearing a midriff or my midriff is shot.

She's literally the Sports Illustrated cover model.

Oh my God. So yeah, that was stapled shut. My dad can't see that. So. Actually, I'll tell you a funny story. My mom, she found a Sports Illustrated years ago and she actually stapled it shut as like a joke on my dad. And then years later, she then stapled mine.

So wait, she legit stapled it shut so he couldn't look at the photo. That's hilarious.

That's amazing.

That is so cute.

But yeah, I think whatever you want to receive really like sitting down with it and writing what you want to receive because it's so reciprocal in this life. And actually it is what it isn't. Sometimes you will not receive it, but sometimes going in that may, it shouldn't always be the goal. Let me just like give this so I can receive it too. I think unconditionally giving, you're like, see, this is like a. You are a mom. You're like, okay. Unconditional love. I got it. And yes, sometimes you receive it and then sometimes you don't. When you don't receive it, that's okay. That person may not be in a position in their life where they can give. Maybe they are tapped out at their business, they're tapped out at home, they're tapped out in so many aspects of their life and they just really, really appreciate you. Maybe five years from now you will hear from them and say, hey, you were there for you. For in a time in my life and my time is freed up. I really want to give back to you. Or I just want to say thank you. Sometimes it's just a thank you actually. So long answer short, I think whatever you need to receive, giving it unconditionally and you will receive it. Not only in a fulfillment way where you feel really good, but then you start learning to actually give to yourself too.

Oh, man, that's so good. You made me think about. I think it was literally just two days ago, I was sitting and I was like, I wanna get some voice notes from my girlfriend, so I'm gonna send some. And literally I wanted to like have some cute conversation where I could, like, we could laugh and we could just. You know what I mean? We bond over voice notes. You sent me a voice note. I did. I sent multiple voice notes and I got them back. And it made me feel close to my girlfriends. So right now, at this point point in my life, I want girlfriends who I can also talk business with. I can just be 100% me. And that's also right now, where I'm at is gonna be to include big dreams, businesses, things like that. So how I've been supporting myself is literally. Well, Lindsay and I, we were sitting around not too long ago, what was that? Six months ago? In January. In January. And we were like, we wanna connect with more women, like some really high level women. And we're like, should we like risk it and just ask some people to do like a mastermind?

Like, sounds like we're dating I know, it really is. But that's what it's like. It's kind of the same.

Scarier, though.

Just as afraid to get rejected.

Yes. Yeah, totally. Because then you're like, you're scared that they're gonna think you're weird or something. So. But here's the key. We did it together. We did it together. We texted, like together on the same reel. So find a friend, lock arms. Then you're both getting rejected. You know what I'm saying?

And then if they reject you, you could be like, well, we didn't actually.

Yeah, we didn't actually even want you.

To connect with them anyway.

Just kidding.

But we didn't get rejected.

We didn't.

We realize how many, like, high level women are craving connection. They're just waiting for someone else to say it first.

Yeah, we, we couldn't actually believe it. It was like an immediate text back, like, oh, my God, 100% in been wanting this, wishing someone else would facilitate it because they're busy. So if that, if you guys are good at it, which I feel like a lot of you are, I know a lot of you just be the facilitator. So if you look at a lot of people's careers, some of the biggest careers are just the interviewers or facilitators of relationships. And some of the most successful human beings are actually just facilitators of relationships. I was just reading in a book about this guy who's super successful, and they said, what is your secret? He said, I go to all of the networking events or I go to all of these things and I just ask two things. He asks, what do you do and what do you need? And then he just connects the room and takes a cut of it. He's like, if I found you this in this room or wherever, could I take this percentage? And that's all he's done his whole career. So instead of going into these things going, what do I need? Honestly, some of the biggest, best things that you can do is say, what do you do? And what do you need? And then ask everyone and connect them. So just always thinking in those terms and that has enriched my life so much without even thinking, oh, this is gonna get me something. It's so much fun. And it does just come back. I don't even have to hardly ask for what I need anymore because I feel like it's so much in my network now because when you lead with that, people just want to give things to you. They just want to bring things to you. So it's not that I don't still have to do stuff, but it's in my network now. Yeah.

And especially I've really learned so much from you and Chris. You two are like the most intentional connectors that I've ever met and it's from this place of giving. And I've watched you make really incredible relationships with really incredible people, not expecting anything in return, not even expecting a connection in return. And it's really something for all of us to learn. Like there's, there's almost no one you can't form a connection with if you go in with that intention. I don't know if you have any secrets to share with us, but you really are one of the most incredible people when it comes to like cultivating new relationships, but from a place of not expecting anything in return and just giving with the purest of pure hearts.

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And there's different people that are going to be in your life for different things.

Yes.

You know, there's going to be the girlfriends from college, like, on whatever day that was Monday that you can go out for eight hours and not talk about work at all. I feel like we were bar hopping, too.

It's just like, okay, that's a twist.

That's called. That's called a Midwest lunch.

Yeah, we didn't really. We didn't mean to. We just kept, like, going in for, like, one drink. We're like, okay, let's go to the next place. This is so fun. And then other people met up, and then it was fun, but. And then. And that's really refreshing. And then there's gonna be, you know, your mom, who you can talk to, or a parent or prayer sometimes. It's just that the other night, Brian was looking at me. He goes, what are you doing? And I was, like, sitting there, and I was like, I'm praying.

What do you think I'm doing?

Can you tell?

He tells it better, but he was. You were so zoned out for the longest Time. But that's the only thing I needed in that moment, was to pray for a lot of people in my life and a lot of people that needed it. And so sometimes it's that and then sometimes it's tonight. And all of you, like, we all need each other in this room in so many ways that we don't even know. And it's so cool what's going to happen from here. So community. You are creating community just by being here. And every single person next next to you is generous in so many different ways that I don't know how long you can hang out after this. But think about the magic that can come from this room. How many people are local and how many of you flew in? That's so good. That's so good. And you just never know. And then sometimes long distance friends. People are long distance. And then you can do amazing things together. My parents also just met some friends on a cruise, and they've already all traveled to each other's houses and stayed with each other, and they're vacationing together so you can find community no matter what age. And I'm like, you guys are so cool. Just on a river cruise now, going down to Florida to stay at their place. And, you know, it's not over. Your life right now is just starting in so many ways. And there you haven't. I love this, But I saw this one time, and I was just bawling my eyes out. It's like, you haven't met the people that you are going to love so much, and you haven't met the people that are going to love you. So it's something to really look forward to.

That is awesome. Oh, I feel like that's the perfect segue into our other.

I was like, q and A already.

No, you're like, that went fast.

I was like, this is amazing.

Champagne's really going down.

One hope is pretty good.

Careful, because I'll get really emotional the more champagne I have. I'm like, you guys, let's go hug.

We're good. We're here for it. Okay. Moving into the community that you create around your brand. Lindsay, for you, when you first started powerhouse women, obviously that's kind of a brand that says we're going to be a community. So starting from.

That was our tagline, actually.

Was it powerhouse? Did it start as powerhouse Woman?

Well, it did. Yes.

That's right.

That was the name of my.

I can't even make that joke. And then it became women. That's awesome.

So tell me how that all starts. The truth is. So I wrote the book Powerhouse Woman. I got that book. I had written the whole book didn't have a title until you and I did that spin class eons ago, and it dropped in during spin class. Anyone else get you, like, your best ideas when you're really sweaty? And I was like, powerhouse. Okay, that's kind of a cool word. Named the book Powerhouse Woman. And the publisher was like, you should do a book launch event. And I remember I reached out to that spin instructor because she had a fire playlist.

Right.

Again, I am not above just stalking people on the Internet and making them my friends.

Okay.

My friend Aisha, I literally walked into her office. This is gonna sound so creepy. And I was like, hi, I seen you online. We should be friends.

Thank God you did.

It worked.

Yeah, but I stalked this spin instructor, asked for her playlist, but then saw she was an event planner. And I'll never forget sitting in her office and saying, okay, I've got this vision for an event. Didn't even realize it was going to turn into community. And she was like, well, what's it called? And I was like, well, I guess Powerhouse Women, plural, question mark. Real genius when it comes to branding. But the truth is, it started because I had a really small audience. Anyone here feel, like, stopped in terms of the impact you can make because your audience is too small? I mean, be honest. Raise your hand if that's ever been a thought. Like, I don't have enough followers. I don't have a big enough email list. For some reason in my mind, maybe it's because I was raised by a Midwest mother who just knew how to ball on a budget. Right? Sue's astro can stretch a dollar like no one you've ever seen. And it just never occurred to me that having a small audience was a problem. I just knew I had to think differently. And when I started to realize that the more I could connect people with each other, the more it kind of took on a life of its own, people started to want to invite their friends. They felt the energy of what was happening because the focus wasn't on me. I was just, like, the party starter who brought epic women together. And so people started to know, oh, I can find other women like me if I'm at these events, if I'm a part of these zoom calls. And I think we all have things that kind of just come to us intuitively. And I do think community building is one of the things that just comes really naturally. But it's something that anyone can do and anyone can learn. And that's usually when I talk about it. I talk about the difference of an audience versus a community is an audience is like this conversation of, okay, how do I get more people to take an interest in me and what I'm doing? How do I get people to connect with me? That is important. We want people to know about how amazing you are and everything that you're doing. But when you take that a level deeper and go, okay, now how do I get more of those people to connect with each other? That's when it takes on a life of its own. I mean, it's been so beautiful. And I know you both have this experience, too, to see, like, the friendships that are formed. I mean, so many of you in here, I know, have met business besties through powerhousewomen events or events like these. And it's just. It's so rewarding and it also takes the pressure off of you. How many of you feel me when I say this? You don't have to be everything to your community.

Yes. Amen. Yes.

Like, I love that I'm not the full value.

Yes.

Because otherwise I would put a lot of pressure on myself. I've got to always have the best content, the best training. I've got to come up with new ideas. I know that people are attracted to what we're doing because of the community, and then everything else is really the cherry on top. So it's honestly been. I think it's helped me not put that pressure on myself. And that's been such a huge gift.

I love that. Kat, what's important for you when you're thinking of starting to build community around a brand?

Just deciding how you want to help her or him or whatever that looks like. So really thinking about what they need to receive. And then I always like envisioning who they are and then saying, okay, well, because if you're. If you're lost in what content to create, all you have to do is think, you know, what does she need right now? And if you don't know, what do you need? Because whatever you need, you're attracting the people that will also want to have that conversation. And so it can be this really beautiful exploratory time. I think what you said, even sweating, it's like, I always come up with things in the shower. That too. Everything is always in the shower, really. Getting off our phones and getting away from the day to day and our to do list and thinking, okay, what does she or he need to receive? What do they want to hear from me. And then if you really don't know, tapping into yourself and you really do attract the people that are a lot like you. And that's what community is, is like. You're going through these things together. Even right now, just meeting the different moms that are the moms in the classroom. All our kids are the same age. It's amazing because we're talking about all the same things. And it reminds me how important community is because I can't talk about necessarily those things with a lot of other people. Or maybe I could, but maybe they probably wouldn't care, but. But it's okay. And so I think creating community is really thinking about what they need and then providing for them. You are at service of other people. But again, like not being everything to everybody and connecting them with each other, you can get all the things. You can get the One hope line. You can set up the chairs and the lights and the mics and everything. But if you don't invite anybody, then that's the problem. So in business and anything, you can get all the products, you can create all the content. But if you're not putting it out and inviting everyone in on the conversation and then having them in the comments, if we're talking about social media or a group on Facebook or a different community platform, if you're not inviting them to communicate with each other, then it's not community. So think about that one way conversation. If you have a. If a podcast one way conversation. But how are they communicating after about the episode that you had or how are you communicating with them after the episode and discussing those topics further?

That's so good because we always just think about, just get it out. How many are you guilty? I'm so guilty. Just get it out. We just need to get the content out. Okay, I know there's 30 whole days. That's a lot. That's a lot of content. But then forgetting, oh, these could each be intentional. These could each actually matter. If I put some intention towards them and say, what are we doing with this to connect them after that. I know you were talking about that this weekend too, so I love that. So something for community with me. Cause you guys touch on so many good things. I love to teach people how to actually show up and communicate within community. That's one of my favorite things because I know a lot of people maybe have had, especially women. It's just the truth. We've probably had one rough experience with another female. So sometimes we can be a little nervous about how we show up. Can we fully be ourselves? Can we say what we wanna say? I'm nervous. Will this be held against me? So it's almost like I wrote my book on having some guidelines and saying them. So if you have a community actually putting out some guidelines in there of this is how we talk to each other. This is what we talk about. We're solution based. It's not like you can't talk about certain things, but if it's a very specific community, like to put some guidelines that are actually so powerful for people, it lets people show up more themselves and feel more safe to be vulnerable. When there are those guidelines, like, this is what our community stands for. This is how we're going to talk to each other. So then you know you can be vulnerable and you can say how you're feeling. And you know that for the most part there's always going to be a couple. There always will. It just will. But the community, if they know those guidelines will rally together. And yes, you'll have to deal with it and it'll be a learning lesson and it'll be a challenge, but it'll be one of the best things that you've ever learned and the next time it comes, you'll know how to handle it. So, yeah, guidelines on just helping people show up in community and even, just even our friendships. It's like you kind of work through these moments of communication when you're doing things together. Like you may not have even noticed, but we're. And Lindsay and I already had this conversation, so. But we're doing an event together. And I was like, hey, are you good with X, Y and Z? Like, I just wanted to make sure if I was a certain way or if I was a rule follower and like timelines and things like that. Like, I wanted to communicate something that felt challenging for me because Kat is another leader. And so, so when you're with someone that you're like, this is another leader. Can I ask her something or tell her something that feels vulnerable for me to ask right now. But we need to communicate it just so nothing falls apart. Right?

You asked me, how do you feel? Like.

I roundabouted this question.

How do you feel about staying on schedule?

Because she probably senses that I could.

Just be like, okay, now we're just.

Gonna have a really long lunch and.

Let'S just drink wine.

We don't need to do those business chats anytime in the afternoon.

And just so you know, I asked.

Let'S go to the pod.

I was like, look, I don't Know, this could go. We don't know how this is gonna go. Okay. And we've got speakers after her part, so I need to really have this conversation.

I am crying because it was so in tune with your. Like, I'm picking up on some non schedule characteristics.

But the time I let.

It flow, give me a countdown. That's why I was like, oh, my God, we're already on the Q and A.

Okay.

Like, I have no concept to do that.

So she was like, okay, here's what I need, right? She was like, well, yes. And here's what I need, because the girl has done many of events in her life, so you have to know what you need to ask for for what you need. So for me now, I feel so safe going in. I know what she needs. The team knows what she needs. And now it's like, there's no question there. You know what I mean? Where normally, honestly, in the past, I probably would have skipped over that, and I had skipped over it in the past at my events, and someone went an hour over and took away from another speaker. So I literally was like, why didn't I have the conversation? I didn't ask her what she needs? And she got off stage, and I thought she was doing it intentionally. And she was like, I literally didn't even know. I am so sorry. I was like, why didn't I just communicate with her? Are there any challenges that you guys have experienced building community? Whether that's challenges within the group or whether that's challenges that you've hit where it's just not growing? What are some of the challenges that you've run into? Lindsay?

So I feel like a lot of the things that keep me up at night when it comes to community are keeping the integrity of it as it grows. And I've always known that and had this sense that the community I'm building is meant to be something that reaches a lot of people. I don't know how big that is. I don't have, like, monetary goals or this number of people. I just can tell that at the stage it's at right now, it's meant to reach more people, and it's also really special. And so I think a lot about, like, how do we preserve the integrity of everything that it is? Give it space to grow, but also just make it feel small and intimate and connected, but allow it to reach a lot of people. So I think a lot of, like, the things that I've felt challenging for me in business, this is one of them is just asking Myself better questions because. And this even goes back to what I was saying before seeking out examples of how I can have what I want. So it's easy to say, oh, you can't preserve that as it grows. Or can I just say, how can I have it feel like this and reach a lot of people? What would that look like if it did? Who would I have to grow into as a leader? Who would I need on my support team, both internally and then? What I love about the community we've built is, you know, people in the community really take it on as their own personal goal to make sure that they welcome new people and they make everyone feel like they're a part of it from day one. So I've realized that in terms of that challenge, is anyone else, like, ever worried about that or, like, how can my business stay feeling the same way if it's a really special culture? How can I make sure that it feels the same as it grows if you know it's meant to grow? And I think it comes back to the value of community because the community itself is about connection between the members, the members who have been like, I look around the room, there's so many of you who've been with me for years. You are the extension of me. So I know that someone brand new walking into one of our events is going to be met. It doesn't matter if they're meeting me or if they're meeting Priscilla or if they're meeting Brianne, they're going to feel the same sense because our community creates the culture. And so that's something that used to stop me. It almost like stalled the growth for a while because I would rather have it stay small and stay in integrity than grow and kind of become something that I never intended, intended it to be. But I'm here to tell you, like, as an example of someone who's growing a community that is growing and it's beautiful and it's international now and there's so many beautiful elements to it. I do still feel that same sense of connection and everything that Powerhouse Women was meant to be. In fact, it just amplifies it because now there's more people experiencing that, which I think is really, really beautiful.

I love that. I remember at Bliss Project, someone came up to me and it was about 250 women. And she grabbed my arm and she was like, don't let this get any bigger. It's so special right now. And I was like. But I'm like, we're in kind of a weird Place where we're not making.

The money we want with it at all.

Right. Yeah.

There's that whole part where I was like, ooh, they're not gonna like it. Like, it's only special because it's.

It's small.

And that was not true. As it grew, when it got to 500, I'm telling you, I think it got more special. It reached more women, and they had more opportunities to meet people. So you can absolutely do it. And people will always say that. And I get it. That's a normal fear of, like, I don't want this to change because it was so special. So it's a really big compliment. Just remember, like, oh, that was such a great compliment.

Which.

Can we talk about that for just a hot second? Because would anyone else kind of, like, have a tough time if you heard that feedback? Here's the thing that I had to realize. If someone did feel that way, if they really were craving a smaller, more intimate event, like the very first year of Powerhouse, if I was following my very authentic journey, and I know that I want to create bigger and bigger events, then it's making room for someone who's just starting their event or wants to create a really intimate environment to have people who are going to plug into theirs. So just remember, too, we're not ever meant to serve everyone. And if someone doesn't feel that they want to grow with you in the direction you know you're meant to go, it's just making room for someone else coming up behind you or someone else who's creating that different thing or maybe that that woman is supposed to create the small event that doesn't get any bigger.

Yes.

There's just, like, so much need for community. There's a. There's far bigger need for community than those of us who are currently creating it right now.

Kat, how about you with just, you know, challenges of growing a community?

Anything around community, Community, Everyone will grow with you. And so I think that we all always want to grow and evolve as individuals, and we want to make sure that everyone comes with us on every journey that we're going on. And even when I first got pregnant, in my mind, I knew a lot of women that I was connected with, my online besties that were trying to get pregnant, and I was afraid to announce. And so that's a small example of, like, no matter what it is. So if you're working at a company and you get a promotion, say, and your colleague who you've known for a long time didn't get it, it could be anything. And I think I always have that fear, so. Oh, my God. Whoa.

I can't wait for this. I don't even know what it is.

You and I had dinner years ago, Years ago. And I was like, I'm just afraid to. I could cry. You guys came over. It was. Right. Eddie, my neighbor, came by. And then you just saw him again. You're like, I know him somehow.

Where do I know you from?

Where do I know that neighbor from? He just comes in, like, Kramer, love him.

I was like, we're having dinner, and he walks in.

I'm like, no one's talking to him.

What is happening?

He was just in our kitchen. And I was like, I'm just afraid to do anything. And it's kind of like, to avoid criticism, they say, like, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. I think that fear of creating community is that you're afraid to grow because you don't want to leave anyone behind. And that's a true empath. Like, I feel like I've been, like, just in therapy for years for. Is anyone else here? Empathy night. It's hard because if someone else is winning and shining, you're so excited. You're biggest cheerleader, and you're, you know, whatever they need. And then when you win for a second, you have so much shame. And shame can really destroy you. Like, anxiety. Ruminating at 2am like, how you're gonna communicate this. And so I think the tough part about anything is creating community and then having any. I don't know what the word is. Like, you just want to go along for the ride with everybody, and you want to be there for everybody. Even last weekend, I just was wondering how everyone was doing. And so just on my Instagram, I said, how are you? And I would say 1 out of 10 answers where someone was like, great. And then everyone else was like, I'm going through a miscarriage. I am going through a divorce. My husband is leaving me, and I'm 67, and I feel so old. And I was just crying. And this is like, on Sunday of a holiday weekend. And, you know, and my husband's looking at me. I'm like, I was just wondering how everyone was doing. So I would say, now I'm crying, thinking about everyone's responses. Creating community. You feel a sense of responsibility that you can't even ever explain. And it's. I love being a mom. I love growing humans. And, like, I'm like, okay. This is when we're sitting down for dinner, and they're like, okay. And it's great. It's so different because your genuine care. Oh, my God. I haven't even had more full glass. You just care about every person. And so I think that's the hard part is, like, going to bed at night and thinking about everybody. Oh, my God.

All the moms are literally simultaneously, every moment. Reach for her purse to find you a tissue.

Yeah. Creating community is so beautiful and extraordinary, but I know a lot of women right now that are hurting, and I just want them to be so happy, and I want to help them. And I'm at capacity. I am. We're all at capacity. Is anyone free right now? No.

No. Like some extra bandwidth.

No.

That was, across the board, a no.

Yeah. Yeah. So the hardest part. It's really hard to talk about. The hardest part is that feeling of getting to know so many people and wanting the best for everybody and not knowing how to help everybody. When you sometimes you just, like, have to sit down and eat dinner with your family and not get back to Laura in Wyoming, who's having a hard day and needs somebody. That's the hardest part.

I think that will bring up our last question around this before break is, you know, I think for anybody creating community who's felt that before, like, you're just like, wow, this can get heavy. I remember in my fitness community, I felt I was still allowing myself to be in the Facebook page, and that was one of the most intense experiences of my life, was I was always like, the person. I didn't have an admin. I didn't create anything to protect me emotionally or even them emotionally. So I think talking about, you know, how have you created some things to protect your energy and, well, being around it? Otherwise, it will infiltrate your whole life, and it can take you down. It can literally take you under. So, Lynns, what are some things you've done to distance yourself and create those energetic boundaries?

Yeah, well, I'll share from when I didn't have a team and now when I do, because that. That's very real. Don't underestimate how much of an energetic boundary it creates to create a fake assistant. Not kidding.

Yes. No, for sure. Yes.

But in the beginning, because I had a hard time, you know, like, saying no or if people were asking me to be on their podcast, I don't take that lightly at all. But if I didn't have the bandwidth to do it or people were reaching out for collaborations that I just couldn't say yes to, it felt easier to reach, respond as someone other than me. And I think it's even easier to receive if it's someone other than the person who you were so afraid to reach out to. And it's nothing personal whatsoever. It's just. Maybe it just isn't going to work for right now. So I answered so many emails as. I don't know, I just make up a name. I heard someone. Someone else share this too, and they used their middle name and would sign emails. So I'd sign emails like Marie, because my middle name is Marie. As most other girls born in the 80s.

Yeah.

Any other Marie's in the audience. Okay. I knew it.

Yep.

So, you know, that sounds silly, but that's actually a really beautiful, energetic barrier. People don't need to know that you don't have a huge team behind you. It can support you to feel like you've got a little boundary between you and people having such direct access to you. And then now I just have chosen the channels where I allow direct access and those that I don't. It feels really great for me. I do all my personal social media. We'll answer all of those DMs. We also have our text community. And I do. I read every single. I write every text and I read every text. I don't always respond individually, but a lot of them I do. And that actually feels great. And sometimes people do pour their hearts out. And if I need a moment in that moment that I'm reading it, if I know I'm not in a place where I'm gonna respond in the way that I really want to, like, either I'm kind of busy and I wanna, like, sit and really give some thought to it. I'll just leave it unread and then I'll go back and respond later. But. And you know this about me, it's actually, like, to my core, I want to know individual people in our community as much as possible. And I also give myself grace that it's just not gonna be possible to know every single person. So. So the people who make an effort to really connect, I want to connect with them. I want them to know that it still blows my mind that this is what I get to do for a job. And none of this would exist if it weren't for those of you who listen to the podcast or come to the events. That's just wild to me. So for me, I pay attention to what feels good. And then now that I have more of a team, we have Natalie here, who is our amazing community manager. I personally don't do a lot in our Facebook Group because those are places where I think it's really the intention there is for people to connect with each other. And sometimes it's weird if I dip in and out. I mean, I creep on them. Don't get me wrong. Most podcast content, I'm like, what's the community struggling with right now? Let's go in the Facebook group. But I think it's actually even more beautiful. Just like how when you all arrive tonight, there's dedicated time where you're not focused on trying to connect with us. We want you to connect with each other because that also allows us to show up as our best when we're ready to record the podcast episode for you. So I just really pay attention to how I feel in different environments and let it be okay that I actually am a pretty hands on person.

Oh man, Sorry, real quick. She mentioned something that I think is really important is even if you're reading everything and you're not responding to everything, you know how to respond in your content. Because if you're speaking to that one person, you're speaking to a lot of people. And so if you can have community, intelligence, whatever, 10, 20, 100,000 people, you know what one person is going through. We're so united in so much of our pain. It's so universal that if you are listening, you can still serve them even if you don't individually respond.

I love that I'm so passionate about this topic because I. It took me under for a while. It was bad and it was keeping me from showing up at all. And so like bad panic attacks, crying, feeling like I couldn't escape, like I couldn't escape my phone. I was like, I don't know how to. Paralyzed. Paralyzed. I couldn't help. And I also couldn't watch. And it's like when I would help, it would just open up things more like I literally couldn't do it. I didn't even. I didn't even know what to do. Is anybody there where they're like, I actually don't know what to do. This is not sustainable. This is not sustainable. That's where I was at.

I mean, you just watched it in real time.

It's not sustainable. So a couple of the things that I want to say around it because I don't want to see it happen to anyone in here, is that you have a God given gift and mission. And there are different missions at different points in your life. And at some points it's meant to be in the center of the community, in the eye of the storm and you can handle it and it feels good and the community's small and you got it. And that's where you're getting all of your learnings. And all of a sudden you learn what you just called beautifully, like community intelligence. And now you're not actually supposed to be that person in the eye of the storm. You're supposed to hand that off to the next person who's supposed to get those experiences. And you're now supposed to coach or do or be from more of a 30,000 foot view. And you can give so much more there to a different version of people who now need you there, not in the center. And now the new person moves in. This is the evolution of our growth, the evolution of the community, the evolution of our souls. And if we stay too long, you will die. You actually will, like, it will destroy you. So, and I'm not saying that lightly, it will destroy you. That's how it felt. And so what I want everyone to remember is you're not pulling yourself out of it. You're actually moving to where God needs you next. Because now you're serving a different group of women who need to see you put those boundaries up. They need to see you put that energetic block up. They need to see you understand this community intelligence in a different way. And so now they need you. And what happens with that group is they've learned how to kind of like respect boundaries a little bit. They've learned what they're able to get from you or like take from you, like what, what that energetic exchange is supposed to look like. And so it's going to change and you're going to feel guilty as you do it, but you'll see you start doing it like, oh, I get it. Like, I get that. And I think it's the only way to sustain this type of work that everybody in here wants to do, which is help serve people in some way, whether through product, business or coaching. And it's the only way that you can go if you have those boundaries. So now with boundaries I have because I'm just talking to a different community. I'm talking to the woman who wants to raise money or start that business. So I can't be in the center of that storm because I'll shut down. Like, I won't actually go out and be able to serve that businesswoman who's like having a totally different dilemma. And so I'll create those boundaries around whether it's like, I don't really see any of my emails anymore through customer Service, unless it's something that I need to know. So it's very rare. I don't even know what's going on outside of, like, reading comments and things like that. I just create constant boundaries. And I couldn't do that in the beginning, obviously, but the sooner that you can do that, the better for you energetically, because you need to go serve that next community, you know? So. Okay, you guys, who needs. Go ahead.

I never said what you said to me at dinner, so. Yeah, that's also part of community, too, is like, making sure that you have your audience, too, because you never know what's going on with social media. But you sat there at dinner and you were like, you can never feel shame for growing and becoming who you need to become. And when you shine, others start shining. And what you just said about boundaries, when you start having better boundaries, everyone around you will emulate that in a way and also learn from it. And then you start learning from each other. And when you said that, I was like, okay, like, I can live my authentic life. And of course, authenticity is thrown around so much now, and it's overused, but it's so important in a way, if you really, really think about the word of how do you need to live? And if you are not living how you need to live, then you're not doing anyone a service of community. And so to really serve community, you need to grow. And you literally said it. Then you're like, go. And I'm like, where? And you're like, up.

I'm like, ah, they need you. All the girls up there need you.

And then Chris and Brian were like, what are you guys doing?

I remember that dinner. Okay. I was very passionate.

Yes.

Okay. Because when you see a friend who is. So here's the thing. These women have the, like, truly the most beautiful hearts, but you can get stuck there in serving the people you're actually not meant to serve anymore. And you need to go serve that next level. But it is hard to leave because they love people so deeply. And it's not that I don't. It's that I almost. It's that I almost died. No, like, literally, I was like, I can't do this. Like, I shut down so hard that I was like, there's. I have to figure it out. I actually coached with quite a few people around it and learned a lot from them. Like, they would grab me and go, do you want to do this? Do you want to do this forever? Because you're never going to make it. Here's what you need. You need this, this, and this. And they told me what I needed. And they're like, the people who are serving on the largest level. They can't even go in there anymore. There's a bounce. There's an energetic distance. There's a boundary. And if you want the women to truly come with you, you'll do that first. It's not serving them to stay there. You're holding them there. So let the new women come in and then go forward. That's, like, literally your job. It's your job.

So get a fake assistant.

Get a fake assistant, y'. All. Name them something amazing, too.

Yeah, give her, like, a sexy name.