The Audacity Skill | How to Build a "Safety Net" for Your Biggest Risks

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On this podcast, your bank account can only grow as big as the discomfort that you are able to hold. So if you're cringing right now over something or you're like, I can't create that content. I feel so dumb. I'm so dumb. I'm not smart enough, well, then your bank account's gonna stay small because money grows at the speed speed of your nervous system, AKA your capacity to handle criticism, risk, visibility, and rejection. Welcome back to the podcast. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in. Inspiration. Good job on you for taking the time to maybe switch your mindset. Maybe you tuned in because you just need a little shot of motivation. A place where you can just change from thinking about what you have to do to what you want to do, how you want to build your life, who you want to be. So today I just got off of a call, and it was my audacity call that I do every single month that you guys can all join. It's totally free. It's become one of my favorite communities and the conversations in there today were incredible. Like I am am quickly falling in love with so many people in there because they're showing up, they're doing the thing. It's actually quite insane that since I've started this, I think it's been maybe six months now that I have been able to watch so many people do some massive things in there because every month they're learning about the fact that it takes boldness and courage to make your dreams happen. It's not a skill that you necessarily need to learn and get better at in terms of, you know, something that needs to make your dream come true. A lot of it for a lot of you, including myself, is that we need to be more willing to put ourselves out there, put ourselves on the line, put things on the line, look stupid, feel embarrassed, and just be more bold. And that is how you're going to make things happen. And so I wanted to give you a little insight scoop of what we chatted about on the call. And that is, what are some of the things that go into audacity? And the first one is having the ability and capacity to be misunderstood because you can't go out and be bold and be courageous. If you first are not willing to be misunderstood by people, it's going to keep you small. It's going to keep you from doing anything because you have such a fear of, what if people take it the wrong way? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I, you know, am trying to be the expert, but I say something that isn't true or that isn't 100 factual? Well, guess what? The world is ever changing, and you can change your mind and you can change your opinion, and science is ever changing. And that's why they literally. My. My doctor is always telling us, like, yeah, medicine is a practice because it's changing and you're practicing it. And one thing that they proved to be true has all of a sudden been proven to be something else. Because it's gotten more studies, it's gotten more perspectives, it's been used in different ways. And what would have been true in one way could be false in another way. And so I always think of that in terms of you could be 100% right in your mind, and it could be 100% wrong to somebody else. Like, two things can be true simultaneously. So nothing meaningful is ever going to get created without someone thinking that you're too much or that you're too loud or that you're too ambitious or that you're too delusional or that you're not smart or that you're someone's family member. And they're like, who the hell do you think you are? Do you not know that I watched you growing up, or I just watched you struggle for 10 years with drugs or alcoholism or something. Something where they're like, this is who you are. This is who I know you to be. And the person that you think that you're becoming. That's really funny, and that's cute because this is who you are. This is literally Exactly. What happens when you start to step into wanting to become someone else is you're going to be tested. You're going to be tested by the people closest to you as well. Not only people online, a lot of people are afraid of that, but a lot of people are mostly afraid of who they know and failing in front of them. And they trying to be someone else and failing. Well, that is the path to becoming the person you want is failing and learning from the failure. So our addiction to approval and to being loved and liked is what kills dreams. That's what kills dreams. It's not people saying no to you. It's literally the addiction to approval. Because getting a yes is a numbers game. That's it. It's literally a numbers game. So it's putting in the reps, and it's getting better at whatever it is that you want to do. And all of a sudden, it is going to work. If you stay in that path and you're extremely consistent, having success is going to require disappointing people. And I believe when I get in these groups of women, this is the biggest reason why we're not going for it, is we have such a fear of disappointing people. So talking about how to emotionally survive judgment, we were talking on. The call is that years ago, we had a couple's mastermind, and it was super fun. Loved putting it on. Was it four or five couples? I think it was four or five couples. And Chris and I and I had decided that this mastermind was going to be, you know, we wanted to make sure that it was all about them growing together, but also growth, like, majorly expanding for themselves, doing things that they were afraid of, doing things in groups and really just becoming the people that we wanted to become and facing fears. And so one of the events that I planned was to go and do trapeze together. Now I forgot that I was afraid of heights, so I'm not sure why I did this. And in actuality, I actually think my gut was like, okay, you're afraid of heights. This is something you need to face. And you know that you're going to grow massively from this. And you also know that this is going to be really uncomfortable for most of the people who are in this group. And that's what we're going for. Like, we're trying to find ways to make these very successful people uncomfortable because it's harder to make people who have already done really big things in the world, it's harder to find things that can help them grow because they've probably Already faced a lot of the challenges, been in the rooms that, you know, used to make them feel stretched and now no longer do. So I was like, ah, I'm going to find the thing that makes them feel stretched. And I feel found it. So that's good. But it also really made me feel stretched. And that was an exciting thing for me as well. And so I booked this trapeze class, and I get there and I'm like, holy shit, this is high. Like, I'm feeling anxious, I feel sick. I'm feeling dizzy, because I'm, like, starting to just think about the heights. And, you know, looking up close up, I was like, God, this is so crazy. Like, am I gonna fall? Am I going to bounce out of the net? And so the instructor comes and she's like, okay, so I'm sure most of you are pretty intimidated. Like, who is? Who isn't? You know, raising your hand, all the things, Number one, we talk about the elephant in the room. So this is the. The first thing that I want you to notice, because I'm going to relate this back. We talk about the elephant in the room, and immediately some of the fears start to subside. Now, I'm not saying they subside a lot. I'm saying we got 5% knocked down, right? Because it's like, okay, who. Who else is scared? You're no longer scared alone. Now you're group scared, which just somehow feels better than being scared on your own. And she's like, okay, what are we afraid of? We're afraid we're gonna get hurt. We're afraid we're gonna, you know, fall and bounce out of the net. We're afraid the net is not gonna hold us, like, all of these things. Okay, let's go through each fear. So let's check what. What I'm gonna do is, you know, with a net check, it's not just gonna be me. I'm gonna show you the net check. So it's like, this corner's good. This is why here's the net. Here's what we check. Here's how we know it's good. We're gonna check. This corner went through. And we did the net check with her. And so then it was like, okay, has anyone ever bounced over the net? No, it's never happened. And then she goes through a whole process of, this is how you fall. Because it's not if you fall, it's when you fall, especially if you're new. So now the most important thing that I'm going to teach you before you even climb the ladder to go get on the trapeze, you're going to learn how to fall. So I think one of the biggest things that this just opened my eyes to is that when we are going to do the thing that we want to do, when we're going to go put ourselves out there on social media, when we're going to go pitch ourselves or pitch the book or go try to apply for the job or go get on stage for the first time, we haven't necessarily built ourselves a safety net. Now, there's a couple different perspectives around this. It's like, don't give yourself an out. That's not the type of safety net I'm talking about. I'm talking about the safety net that's like, hey, let's mitigate some risk. So if you're going on stage to speak and you know that you could either crush it or you could really suck, you could say the wrong thing, and that could really blow, and you could feel bad about yourself, and you could disappoint people, maybe even offend people. The thing is, is that you haven't created a safety net of people to talk through it with and to normalize what you're about to experience. And so when you don't normalize what you're about to experience, just like she normalized, hey, I know you're. I know you're scared when going to check the net if you fall. Here's the thing. Here's what I've seen. You know, here's what can happen. Here's what to expect. You haven't normalized that enough with the thing you're about to do. So if you are making videos and you're kind of, like, really afraid, what if one of my videos go viral? What if I actually say how I feel and that you know what happens? You haven't talked to enough people who have gone viral. You haven't talked to enough people who have gotten horrible comments and how do they deal with it? And, you know, are you someone I could actually call if this happens? Like, do you have a group of people that you can discuss this with? You know, after I get off stage, can you make sure to check in on me at this time? Cause here's when I'm getting off stage. Can I call you two hours after? Can you call me two hours after to check in so that I can process and so that my comeback rate can be a lot faster if something goes wrong? Let's say you go on stage and you say something and you're like, I can't believe I said that, or I felt so stupid, or, oh, my God, did I offend someone? Or someone said I offended them. If you have a call coming up in two hours with someone, they can walk you away from the ledge. They can be like, okay, so that happened. Big deal. We're going to get through it. This is what happens when you put yourself out there. This is normal. This is to be expected. You're going to be okay. Let's learn from it. Like, can we tell a funny story about this? I've never had great stories without being afraid. I've never had great stories without facing something that scared the shit out of me or totally fucking something up. So if you want to be able to tell great stories, if you want to be able to put yourself out there on social, if you want to be a great leader, you got to get some shit under your belt in order to do it. It's not like I want you to go out there and be like, just, oh, my God, I, I, I know shit's gonna happen. And I know that people are gonna say these mean things like, that's not what we're going out with the intention of. We're going out with the intention that everything's gonna be great. And if it's not, here's my people that are gonna help me recover. So this is gonna help you with the ability to be misunderstood, and it will also help up that risk tolerance so that you can go and do the big, bold, audacious thing as much as possible. So again, in the same vein, in order to go out there and be bold and courageous and audacious, you're going to need to expand your capacity for embarrassment. Because I do believe the more embarrassment and judgment that you can tolerate, the more income you are going to get. Because money grows at the speed of your nervous system, AKA your capacity to handle criticism, risk, visibility, and rejection. So I want you to think about this as, like, daily reps to increase your embarrassment tolerance. And something that I didn't realize that I was doing for years and years and years was reps to increase my embarrassment tolerance. And that looked like getting on Facebook live every day, like, making myself do it and stay on for minimum 10 to 15 minutes and just talk about a topic. Now, was I saying smart things every single day? Absolutely not. Was I rambling? Absolutely. Was some of it terrible where I got off? And I was like, wow, that sucked. Like, that was really embarrassing. Or did people start commenting really rude things once in a great While. Yeah, and it really sucked. And it would totally throw me off. But this was reps to increase my embarrassment tolerance. And when I got off, I stopped beating myself up over everything that I said, or the fact that sometimes there was, like, one person on or whatever that looked like this gave me so much capacity, like, expanded what I was capable of holding. And so confident people are not fearless, and they're not born that way. They've just practiced. They have put in all of the reps. So I want to remind you, your bank account can only grow as big as the discomfort that you are able to hold. So if you're cringing right now over something or you're like, I can't create that content, I feel so dumb. I'm so dumb, I'm not smart enough, well, then your bank account's going to stay small. And. And if you're okay with that, that's okay. But if you're willing to look dumb, feel dumb, keep showing up. Even after two years or four years of still not quite hitting it, but getting better and making progress. Now we'll talk. The third thing that I want to tell you is that audacity is not a personality. It's not a personality type. Audacity is a skill set you literally need to put in the reps in order to become audacious, bold, and confident. I talk about the importance of sleep and reaching your goals all the time on this podcast, but I also know that you're probably wound pretty tight like I am, and you might have trouble transitioning from your daytime to your nighttime. So I added something that I absolutely love because, you know, skincare is a big thing for me in 2026, and I love OCA's Dream Collection. It's really helped change that for me. 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For anyone that doesn't know me, I have started a lot of businesses and I will tell you that every single one came with so many worries and so many fears. It can be really terrifying because there are so many questions that you don't have the answer to. What if no one listens to my podcast? What if nobody buys my products? And I am so grateful that I have started all of them, especially glossy and that I believed in the launch of my products. Because despite all the fears and hesitations, it also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side. And Shopify is what I use for glossy so you can get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style, accelerate your efficiency. Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines and even enhance your product photography. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer service. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com happy go to shopify.com happy that shopify.com happ be so little things like the other day we got sat at a restaurant was me and a friend and if you know me well I am like all about the vibes. I I literally can't sit like in a booth that's maybe by a bathroom and that's my view. I just like it's not my favorite. I'm like wait. I've waited all week to come out to dinner. I got dressed up. I like really was dreaming and thinking about the vibes and feeling all good with my girlfriend and having cocktails and not feeling like they put baby in the corner by the bathroom in this really terrible booth with horrendous lighting and I'm like okay I feel so annoying because I don't like to annoy people. I have been a waitress. I'm like, okay, I'm about to go ask and be like, I know you just sat me, but could I ever get a different boost? Like just something maybe over in this area? And I have been practicing making sure that if I don't love where I'm sitting for a fairly valid reason, that I'll be like, hey, I'm just wondering, is there any way that we could move over there just to maybe a booth with, like, a bit more, like, in the restaurant or more of a view? I just kind of feel like we're over in this corner by the bathroom. Most people will totally understand. Some will be annoyed. And I have learned to be okay with the people being annoyed. And I gotta be honest, I have asked for a different booth three times in the last probably three months. And this might sound high to some of you. It might not sound high at all. It is a way that I practice getting something that I actually really want that changed the whole evening for me. Now, this is how you start practicing. Like, did you get a bad coffee? Can you go ask really nicely for them to remake it? Like, hey, this is the highlight of my day. You know, I'm particular. I love it this way. I hope you don't mind. Would you ever remake this? Like, go practice asking. However it comes out in a super amazing, loving way. Like, this is how we start practicing being audacious. Like, was it rude for me to ask for a different table in some people's idea? Yeah, maybe it was like, no, you got seated with this person because they need someone seated there. So maybe it's considered rude or annoying or snobby. I don't know. But you know what? I don't want a light shining in my face space all night. And I don't want to be sitting by the bathroom when this is all I've been thinking of all week. So how can you start owning parts of your life, being more bold, being more audacious on small things? Like, start putting in the reps on small things, asking for what you want, speaking up, maybe trying to say things on stories at first that you're like, you know what, maybe I don't put it out as a post, but maybe I'll try it on a story and I'll put out a survey. Does anybody else feel this way? Go out there and start using your voice and using this skill. Because it's not a personality type. It's something that, yes, maybe some people were born with a little bit more boldness. But in all honesty, I think it's environment. I Think it's like, nurture. I think it's because they saw it, they did it, they were forced to do it. And so the more that you do that and the more that you hang out with people who are like this, the more it's going to rub off on you. So, you guys, I hope that this helps. I really want to hear about what your big, audacious things are that you're up to, that you're doing, how you're practicing. But also, I'd love to see you on the call next month. We do one call every single month. It's literally the best community ever. It's going to make you go do the big thing, though. I am just warning you. And it's a very, like, fun, outgoing, big, bold community. And I will say, like, I can't believe the strides that people make when they show up on their first call and they're quiet and they're timid and they're nervous to even the second call or speaking up on the first call because it feels like such an open, amazing, comforting, just like cheerleader group. Like, it's literally the most. The most fun. You're gonna go and do the thing and be excited about it, even if you're scared to speak up or if you're doing something really big and bold right now. Like, let me tell you, it's the kick in the ass that you need as well. So I hope to see you on that call. And you guys, I'm so grateful for you. And if you have not tried glossy yet, I'm telling you, we just did this incredible discount for you guys. So I told you 25% was going away because we now have 40%. 40% off with code. Happy. And so what we found. This is crazy. This is why we upped the discount code, is because we found from our data. Now we have a year and a half or actually a little more of data. And when people try it, they stay on it. We have one of the highest retention rates of this type of product, which is so exciting because people are seeing such a difference and feeling such a difference every day. So if you are ready for glowing skin, if you are ready to wake up feeling less bloated, if you're ready to feel like you're digesting better, sleeping great. This product is for you. Telling you, it's like, I am so insanely hydrated because I drink so much water because it's so delicious. So strawberry, hibiscus, watermelon and lemon. And the secret to our watermelon is we added, like, just a hint of mint, so it's extra bougie and delicious. So you guys go and check it out. Go to getclosy.com and use code happy for 40% off. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye, everyone.