The Fastest Way to Break Free From Fear
25 Jun 2026 · 1 min
Lori Harder argues that fear of judgment is outdated survival programming, and that you can break free by choosing how you translate your own actions. She calls this audacity: the same bold move can be courage or arrogance depending on what you decide it means.
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Audacity is not arrogance. Audacity is freedom. And the only thing standing between you and the life you want is the translation that you're putting on it. When you realize that you're the translator, you finally understand that every action you take only means what you decide it to mean. Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And let me tell you that this message on audacity that I have been talking on the podcast, on social, bringing this into my Mentor Collective Mastermind group, our Elite Entrepreneur Mastermind group, and now the Stage of Powerhouse, which I just spoke at this last weekend. I have never in my life had a message that I have shared that has hit a bigger nerve. I get minimum 20 messages right now that are talking about audacity. I have never been sent more audacity memes in my life. I have never been tagged in more people talking about the audacious actions that they're about to take, and I haven't even started this audacity challenge that is launching next week. Which, by the way, if you wanna be a part of the 4-week free challenge, you just have to go to the link below and click. It is totally free. It is about women coming together to hold each other accountable to play bigger. Audacious actions can be talking to your barista in the line, if that's something that you have never done before, is starting a conversation with people around you or the person that is waiting on you. Or an audacious action can be asking for a million-dollar book deal. It can be launching a company that you believe could actually make it to $1 billion. How fucking audacious is that? That's pretty damn bold. How dare you think that? How dare you do that? And who the fuck do you think you are to do that, right? It hits a vein in people beyond any message that I have ever said before. And when I get something that is a full download that brings me to my knees and brings me chills and puts tears in my eyes, I know that it's my next place that I'm supposed to go. And so I am going so hard on this. You're gonna see so many things coming out around this idea because it's impacting me more than anything has impacted me personally before. So before we get started, even though we absolutely already just got started, I want to have the audacity to tell you that I believe my product Glossier is one of the best products on the market and that it's going to change your life. So if you want to start feeling lighter, if you want to hydrate deeper, if you want to have glowing skin every single day, you guys go and check it out. And yes, I believe it is one of the best products on the market, and we did spend a crap ton on the ingredients, more than most companies ever will, because I believe in making sure that you're going to get a transformation. So go and try it for 30 days and kick your old hydration stick out of bed. This is a daily beauty supplement. It's so much more than just hydrating. This is zinc, this is a This is prebiotic powder as well. This is magnesium. This is vitamin C, hyaluronic acid. You guys, it's the most incredible product. Go and check it out. So I want to tell you, if you missed the last podcast, about the two definitions of audacity. So audacity holds two completely opposite meanings, and I love the dichotomy of what this word even is, because depending on your personal translation of the word or the context around the word. It means two completely different things, and I love when something holds two opposing meanings because I believe that that is life. So I'm obsessed with the fact that this word can hold two such opposing meanings that plays such a role in everything we do without realizing it. So audacity, the first definition is boldness and courage. It's the willingness to take risks To act with confidence and step into something daring even when it feels intimidating. Example: she had the audacity to start her business, to cut ties with unsupportive friends and family, to pivot, and to actually believe she could win. Okay, capiche? We got, we got number 1. Now let's do number 2, and I'm gonna say this in the context of the negative tone that this can also hold in the meaning. So shameless nerve, right? The audacity. And again, you have to say with that accent, the audacity, the nerve. Like, that's one definition. And wow, the audacity and strength, right? The audacity she had. So we're on number 2, the audacity. So offensive is acting in a way that might be seen as disrespectful or shockingly forward. She had the audacity to start her business, to cut ties with unsupportive friends and family. Oh God, I can't believe she would cut ties with people. How awful. What an awful person would cut ties with friends from her childhood and her family. She had the audacity to pivot into something she didn't know what the fuck she was doing. And she had the audacity to actually believe she could win. Can you believe that? Oh my God. Cringe. Puke. I mean, look at where she came from, right? Two completely different meanings pending the context, or the context being the person reading it. I am reading the same examples, you guys. I just read the same example set in a completely different tone. Depending on the script of the person who is thinking about it, right? Depending on the perspective of the person who is experiencing the action of the audacious person. So I want to tell you that audacity is not arrogance. Audacity is freedom. And the only thing standing between you and the life you want is the translation that you're putting on it. And your own actions, the translation that you're actually putting on the actions that you're taking. Because when you realize that you're the translator, you finally understand that every action you take only means what you decide it to mean. And we are meaning-making machines. Tony Robbins always talks about the fact that we are meaning-making machines, and everything that we do is pending upon the meaning that we are going to give it, how far we're going to get in life. Let me use an example. So think about this: two women film themselves in public, right? Something that you probably need to do if you have a business, or you've seen people do, or, you know, in this world of social media, if you have a product, if you have a mastermind, if you have a book, if you have something that you want to get out in the world, you probably have to film yourself. And it would be a whole lot easier if would just be okay with filming yourself in public? Because a lot of the times the life that you're living is a lot more interesting just filming it live than setting up whole filming days where you are scripting the whole thing. Wouldn't it just be easier to film in public? Okay, with that said, two women film themselves in public. One calls it cringe, the other calls it courageous. The first one hides the video, deletes it, and reinforces the story that people are judging her. That's all she looks for. She sees their disapproving looks. She feels them staring at her and snickering, and who does she think she is? And oh God, what is she wearing? And does she really think that she's even like an influencer? Or all of the horrible thoughts that we think. The second one, Post-it. She uses it to free herself from the prison of opinions, and she thinks to herself, wow, I'm so proud of myself for doing this despite the opinions, and builds a business that gets her out of her old job and totally frees herself, or gets the business that frees her in life and gets to do the things for her friends, for her family that she's always dreamt of doing. Same action, two totally different translations of one audacious action. That's it. The only difference is the translation of the audacious action. So the secret that you've been missing is that it's just up to you. You are the translator, not your mom, not your old boss, not your partner, not the girls at brunch, not your friend group, not the people staring at you. You, you get to break the scripts because from the time we were little, we were handed these scripts, right? Be polite. Don't brag. Don't rock the boat. Stay small. Stay quiet. Stay agreeable. Don't state your opinion. You don't have anything good to say. Only speak when spoken to, whatever it is. Follow the religion, whatever that script is that you believe. Don't look like you're too into yourself. Don't dress too much. Don't dress too sexy. Are you trying to make people look at you? All of these different things that have run in our mind, or these moments that just stuck with us that made us feel small, embarrassed, bad. We should be ashamed of ourselves. How awful of you. All of these moments that fucking make you stay tiny, they're keeping you in a prison because they are unable to give themselves the permission. So why on earth should they not judge you and give you the permission to be bigger than they believe that they're allowed to be? Here's the thing about those scripts though. They're not the truth and they're just passed down. They're literally just made up programming. And most women spend their whole damn lives running these scripts and never realizing that we are the people with the keys to completely free ourselves. Like, we're literally holding the key to free ourselves, which is simply doing the thing and letting it go with the fact that we might have those feelings and feel that way, but moving forward with these audacious actions that are actually the key to the freedom of getting the lives that we've always wanted. But I wanna go even deeper because we might be looking at these scripts and being like, okay, yeah, they're there and they feel very real. But I wanna really affirm you right now that it's more than real. Like you are feeling that for such a primal reason. It goes way deeper. And that is something so ancient because for most of human history, survival literally depended on being accepted by the whole tribe. And you guys, if you were rejected, If you were cast out for being too much, for being too bold, for speaking your mind, it wasn't just embarrassing. It didn't just feel bad. People maybe didn't just shame you, but way back in history, it was deadly to be alone. So you couldn't survive on your own. And we tend to feel like our current tribe, whether that's our current friend circle whatever close family that you have around you, we feel that if we're rejected by them, yes, it's a horrible feeling, but it unconsciously goes much deeper than that. We feel like if we're rejected by them, like, our survival feels threatened, right? There's a part of us that's like, why does this feel so incredibly bad? But the thing is, is that this is not living in cave times anymore, right? This is not like way back in the day. This is, this is modern times when we can make new friends. We can actually have boundaries with our family. We can have conversations with our family, whether they understand them or not, about the boundaries that we have or the way that we want to be or why we're being that way. Or we can share our big dreams with people so that they can understand, because we're not gonna die anymore. And for someone thinking that we're too much or too loud or too confident or too ambitious, because survival, that feeling of needing to survive, is just outdated programming. It's just outdated programming. So when you feel that gut-level panic about being judged, when you freeze up at the thought of posting something or pitching something big or being seen, it's not because you're weak. It's simply because literally your nervous system is wired to equate rejection with death. That's what we're dealing with here. We're equating rejection with death, and it's just not that serious anymore. So when you feel that, I affirm you, you are affirmed by this literally very real feeling of feeling like you're going to die or something bad is going to happen. But know that that's not what we're dealing with anymore. We're not living in that era anymore. So audacity is literally choosing to override a primal Fear. That's why I'm so proud of you guys for joining this challenge is because it's so much bigger. When, when women are joining, I'm hearing them say like, wow, it's shaking me to my core just to join because it just feels like it's going to be big. Yes, it's going to be big because you are choosing to override a primal fear and you're choosing to create a new pathway, a new pattern, and a new translation that says this isn't dangerous, this is freedom. Audacity equals freedom. So we're living in this silent epidemic that maybe we're translating as burnout and stress or lack of opportunity, but I actually think a big part of this is the epidemic of everyday worrying about what other people think and the fucking energy that that takes. The energy that it takes around, you know, when I post this, oh my God, how do I look? I look Do I look old? I look ugly. What do people think? Who's judging me? What are they gonna write? I don't know if I can handle what they're writing. All of the things that run in women's heads, and it's the quiet killer of all of your big dreams. It's the killer of any $100,000 dream, million-dollar dream, billion-dollar dream. And the reason women don't launch, that they don't post, they don't pitch, they don't ask, they don't demand, they don't take— you guys, it's because they're literally worried about what people think, because underneath it all is this fear of rejection and this deep-rooted need for survival, obviously, right? This is the primal need to survive and not be rejected. So I've come up with an audacity formula, and it is audacious action plus Your translation equals the outcome of your life. And now audacious action plus translation, the only thing that you can change in that is you, the person who can decide, is that cringe or is that courageous? So if you want a different outcome, you have to decide to have a different translation of these actions that you're taking or you're going to take. So filming yourself in public doesn't mean you're cringe. It means you're brave enough to be seen. Posting the video doesn't mean you're arrogant. It means you're building your path to freedom. So going first and starting that business and saying that it's going to win doesn't mean that you're too much or you're delusional. It means that you're a leader. So the action is the same. The translation is what's going to set you free. And actually allow you to get there.
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I did a podcast last week about having the courage to believe that something can happen, to actually have hopes and allow yourself to get your hopes up. I was programmed growing up with this. I was told on anything that I did don't get your hopes up. Don't get your hopes up is the opposite of manifesting. It's the opposite of getting the life that you want. So this is about having the audacity to allow yourself to get your hopes up and believe that these things are possible. So this is for the woman who's literally sitting on her business idea but is terrified her family is going to call it way too risky, is terrified her family is going to talk behind her back, and if she fails, they'll say, "We told you so. We were all talking about it. We knew you wouldn't be able to do this." This is for the mom who wants to take that weekend for herself or start traveling or start that business, but people are whispering that that's not what a good mom does, or that's selfish, or don't you think it's bad to be away for that often? Like, do you really just leave your kids with your husband for that amount of time? This is for the entrepreneur who wants to show up bigger online, but is super paralyzed by the idea of being called cringe, by being judged, this fear of maybe being canceled. So you don't need permission. You need to translate it as freedom. You need to remember that every single time you get a comment like that, it's because that other person on the other side is unable to free themselves. It's because they are trapped in prison. You have to just have the intention with everything you do that you are doing this in order to free not only yourself, but everyone who feels trapped by the opinions of others. And so is it coming? Are people going to judge you? Absolutely. My God, it is coming. It's coming in your comments, it's coming in your DMs, it's coming in your emails, it's coming from your family, it's coming from your friends. Fucking count on it and know that every single time it comes, you are growing from that opinion. You get to actually show up as the person that you say you are, that you've worked on and that you're working on in your personal development. And maybe you're working with a therapist, maybe you're working every day to just get a little bit better, a little bit stronger, a little bit more courageous. And those are the reps. That's the opportunity that you get to practice on because you don't get to become the woman that you want to become without the reps. We don't get the body that we want without the heavy dumbbells. You guys, if you want to do this, you have to start being audacious, and the comments need to come. They have to be the thing that actually makes you stronger. It's what you do with the comments. It's how you translate it. It's when the person says that you're selfish, you decide if it was selfish or if it was freedom for you and your family and your dream. You decide. You're the translator. Just because you're being audacious doesn't mean it's gonna happen. Because you're being audacious, it means it's going to happen, and it's going to provide you with the opportunities to finally become the truly real audacious woman that doesn't give a fuck about what she does or says because she knows her intention is true and pure and that she's going to move forward on her big dream no matter what comes her way. And that's how you do it. And that's how everyone that you look at who has the life and the business that you want, that's what they are doing. That's what they are dealing with. That's how they are getting stronger. And that's how they're becoming that magnetic, incredible person that you don't quite understand how they have that magic. It's because they have transformed all of that pain and all of those comments into power. They have literally transmuted everything for them. They believe every one of those comments and everything has happened for them, not to them. And it takes being audacious, and it takes stepping up, and it takes being okay with the fact that people might think horrible things about you. And it's only because they cannot free themselves. So I hope that this helps you. I hope that you know that every audacious move you make is for this woman that you can see in your brain, that you know you're supposed to be here to be. And audacity is freedom. And every single comment and everything that people say is actually for your higher good. This is next level thinking. If you want to know how the biggest people in the business and the best entrepreneurs think, They believe that every single thing like this that comes their way is for their evolution and for their better good. And the faster that you can do this, the faster you are going to be on track to dreams beyond anything that you can possibly imagine.
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