The Fastest Way to Quantum Leap Your Life

Stop worshiping certainty. Nothing is guaranteed, but you have to trust yourself enough to know that you can handle whatever happens next. You can get through whatever failure. You can create the communities and the support to get through anything, to get through your darkest times, to get through your darkest days. This is what people do to gain confidence, and this is what people do to quantum leap their life. Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to Fit and Inspiration. And if you did not hear on my last Quickie, we have a really exciting live event happening on June 13th with myself and boss babe Natalie Ellis, who is releasing her very first book ever. And I am celebrating 10 years of the Earn Your Happy podcast. And you guys, I did not wanna let this go by. Without celebrating it. I can't tell you how many things in my life I've been like, oh my God, that was a really big deal, and I did nothing for it. And I had so many friends reach out and be like, you literally need to like mark this in your life because that is 10 years of showing up to the microphone with nobody in this room. Okay, you know, sometimes interview, but obviously for these quickies and things like that, it is like showing up on the good days, the the bad days, not missing an episode ever, doing anywhere from 2 to 4 episodes every single week since 2016. You guys, 2016. Who the hell was I in 2016? Like, the thought of me going back and listening to some of those first episodes— if you want to know what feels like an absolute cringy ick for me, that is what that is. Like, of course I can like appreciate it and, you know, love myself and have compassion for the person that I was and be proud of that person. But at the same time, I'm like, please don't make me do that. Please do not make me listen to myself. Like, I have people ask all the time, do you go back and listen to your podcast? I'm like, hell no. Like, maybe I should. That would probably help me get a lot better. In fact, some of the best people in this industry go back and listen to themselves. And I just can't seem to wanna do it. Maybe someday I will, but for now we're just gonna keep showing up to the mic every single week talking about what is on my heart and hoping that you guys come to the event because I would love to celebrate with you. And it's going to be one of the most fun afternoons ever. Yes, I said afternoon because I don't know about you, but if it's on a Saturday, which it is, then you're still gonna be able to do your plans in the evening, or you can Obviously, if you're flying in, which a lot of people already are, we already have a bunch of tickets sold. You guys, this will sell out. And they are flying in so that you can have a nice midday Saturday afternoon, get dressed up, have a cocktail or not, have a mocktail, and then you can go and do some amazing Newport Beach plans. You guys should rent a Duffy, little Duffy boat, go to one of the restaurants on the water. I'm telling you, make it a thing. Make it a girls' day, make it a girls' weekend. It's going to change your life. You're going to meet your besties. It's going to be a room full of the most freaking epic women. I'm telling you, we're inviting all of our friends and we want you there. So go and check it out, it's in the show notes below. Come celebrate with me. I really mean it, like, it would really mean a lot to me. Okay, I want to talk about some decision-making processes that I go through, and I really want to talk about this idea of how decisions just kind of keep us going back and forth and keep us stuck, and how success loves speed, which means speed of decision. And most people stay stuck because they think decisions come from certainty. And the problem with that is that no decision you will ever make will actually feel 100% certain, because there's always another option that you could be making. Right? And maybe you're like, no, there's been decisions that are 100% okay. Well, maybe we get lucky when we have a few of those in our life, but there's always something around what if— what if I didn't, right? There's always a what if I didn't, or what if I did. And so you're almost never going to feel 100% sure. You just need to be 51% more curious, in my opinion, than fearful. So the people who change their lives aren't the people who always make the right decision. I want you to really think about this because we never actually know what the right decision is. The correct decision— you ready for this? The correct or right decision are the people who fully commit to the decision once they make it. So I want you to think about that in terms of having kids. So many people are like, oh my gosh, I don't know, I'm going back and forth. Like, Chris and I have gone back and forth for years. And don't get me wrong, him and I have been trying for, um, you know, we really started trying when I was 37. I'm 45 right now. And so I can tell you that before that though, we went back and forth forever. Like, there was no clear, this is the right decision, this is the wrong decision. Because if you actually put it on paper, there's a whole lot more of why not having kids is going to be a lot easier with a lot less risk, right? And so I can honestly tell you that making the right decision when you're thinking of something like that, if you are not 100%— you've known for your whole life that you were meant to do this and this is why you're here and this is what you've always wanted— I will tell you that it's one of those decisions that no matter what, you have to go all in and just say, this is what we're doing and we're going to decide to make it the best thing possible. Because the truth is that literally almost no decision comes with immediate proof that you chose correctly. And I'm sure there's so many parents out there and moms that are like, yeah, I mean, you know how many people have had children and had problems, whether it's postpartum or the birth was challenging, or God forbid something with health is challenging. But you create the proof through the commitment that you make to the decision. You create the proof through the repetition of deciding to show up and use it as a lesson and become the person that you want and create the outcome that you want. This is the key. You have to create an empowering outcome around whatever decision it is that you made because you can't go back. So the disempowering problem comes when people go, I made the wrong decision. You could say that about anything. You really could, right? If something's not going right in your marriage, if, if you feel like you're not being a great mom or you feel like something is going wrong with the kids, it's like, wow, I made the wrong decision. And it has to be, wow, I made the right decision for my evolution. And no matter what happens, I'm going to try to do the best with the outcome that I have. It is on my path. I'm committing to it. I'm choosing that this decision is correct because it's the one that I made. And you can try to figure out what the right decision is for the rest of your life, but when you decide to take this path, if you feel like you're going back and forth or you've already made a decision, you will only be tormented. So if you want a place of peace, that is when you decide to commit fully to a decision and realize that the right decision is the one that you commit to fully. And we can drive ourselves literally insane believing that there's a perfect path and a wrong path. There's not. There never is. Is if you're like thinking that one choice literally magically guarantees success and the other ruins your life. You will never have any idea what the other would have been like. Because I don't believe that, like, there's a decision that is in your destiny. I really believe that you are making a decision and you are creating that destiny by deciding if it was right or wrong. And obviously every decision that you choose was the right one for your path, right? You might feel like, oh, that was not right. I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe I did that. That's one of my biggest life regrets. And yes, I'm sure we all have some of those, and some are bigger than others. But if we can see how maybe we can use that— not even maybe, see if how we can use that to help other people on their path, and how it can turn into a lesson of how you could maybe change somebody's life, maybe save somebody's life, right? That's how you are going to make every decision, have peace around it. So The questions that are going to keep you in a good place, the better questions, are: how could this be making me stronger? How could this be giving me perspective that I can use, that I can teach, that I might need later for my next venture? And I really like this one because I use it a lot: is this a deposit into my future, or is this a withdrawal from my future? Really thinking about— you know, I'm going to use something so basic here Thinking about when you're making a decision at dinner, like if you have a big week and you're out to eat with your friends and you're like, okay, well, this is the second time I've been out to eat this week and I already know how crappy I feel because I pretty much took a withdrawal from my day tomorrow on Monday and now it's Wednesday and I'm back out to dinner again. Can I withdraw again? And what is that taking away from my day if I go and have a bunch of cocktails and a bunch of crappy food. It's a withdrawal from the bank account. And here's the thing, a lot of people are only withdrawing every single day rather than depositing a healthy meal, a bunch of water, a workout, personal development, um, moving something forward, making big audacious moves. That is a deposit into your future. That's moving you forward. That's going to start putting money back in the coffers, back into the accounts, right? That's going to start putting energy back into your body. That's going to start putting energy back into your relationships. How many decisions a day are you making where you're actually making withdrawal decisions? That's what we need to start looking at. So is this a deposit decision where I'm really starting to bank up my energy, bank up my actions, bank up what I'm doing? Or is this a withdrawal? Like, man, this has really put me behind. This is putting me in the red in my life. And there was a time in my life, and let me just tell you, all the shit was red. Like, I was hungover all the time, whether I was drinking a lot or a little. I was eating terrible. I wasn't, um, adding anything to relationships. Everything was going behind. It wasn't doing anything to for, uh, forward my future. Oh my gosh, my career, all of the things. So my life was in the red, and let me tell you, I felt it because I was making withdrawal decisions. And I'm like, I have got to change. I have got to start making deposit decisions into my future. And it's not that you can't withdraw, it's like, what's the balance, right? Because a healthy bank account and a healthy money system is deposits and withdrawals, right? It is putting money back into the system and making money and depositing. But it's like, what is that balance where you find that life that feels really good? And you guys, every decision does not give an immediate result. Some decisions are there to build a backbone, to build resilience, to build muscle memory about who to hang out with and who not to hang out with, who to partner with in business and who not to partner with in business, right? Some are building wisdom, some are teaching discernment, discernment. Some are showing you what no longer fucking fits in your life that needs to go. So the real, like, danger in my mind is not making the wrong move. It's literally living stuck. It's living frozen while trying to avoid discomfort or judgment or failure or uncertainty. Like, you're never gonna feel certain. People who are like, I'm just waiting to feel better about something, I don't even understand what it's like to make decisions like that anymore. I just move. I just know that if I'm not moving in a direction, then you're actually not moving. Like you're just stale. And so I'm like, gotta keep moving, gotta keep making these decisions. And if anything, they're going to make me learn. And yes, being a fast mover definitely makes me say things like, maybe I should have sat on that longer. Like maybe I need to learn how to sit on this type of decision a little bit longer. And now I know where it's like, okay, stakes are a little higher over there. Let's sit for a second, right? Or. I actually can't afford to sit for a while. I literally need to move fast on this because time is of the essence. Time is money.

I've started so many different businesses and I have to tell you that every single time I've started one, I have been terrified. It didn't get easier because each business was so different. You're always wondering, is anyone gonna buy this?

Are these events gonna fill?

Is anybody even gonna like this product? And now I know that it was absolutely the right thing to believe in myself and launch my businesses, launch my podcast, despite all of the fears and hesitations that I had. It also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side, like I did. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the US, from household names like Glossier to brands just getting started. Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready-to-use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store and matches your brand style. Accelerate your efficiency, whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. It's time to turn those what-ifs into— with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com/happy. Go to shopify.com/happy. That's shopify.com/happy. So are you that person who follows every travel page on Instagram, Pinterest, and you're the one who's always planning the girls trips, the family trips, the friends trips, and you love it down to every single detail? Imagine if your love of planning vacations could actually become a source of income. With Fora, you get the training, tools, and insider access to turn your passion into real earnings as a travel advisor. So you can build a thriving business on your terms, all alongside your job, family responsibilities, and other passions. Fora is a modern travel agency built for people who love to plan travel and help others travel as well. Their tech platform, training, and community give you everything you need to turn a passion for travel planning into a flexible, meaningful stream of income. Every hotel, cruise, or activity you book as a Fora advisor Earns you money in the form of a commission or a percentage of the booking cost. Getting started can be easy as booking trips for people you already know. Now that's time to finally turn your passion for travel into a fulfilling business with Fora. Become a Fora advisor today at foratravel.com/happy. That's foratravel.com/happy. And make sure you tell them we sent you. foratravel.com/happy. I've been in situations where I have needed a new employee and new help in my business immediately. And the last thing that you wanna do is waste time on people who don't actually understand what you do. I want somebody who can come in and understand the workflow.

They can contribute right away.

They can help us move forward. They can help us scale. And that's why I'd use Indeed Sponsored Jobs. When you need the right person, not just another CV, this is a job for Sponsored Jobs. When workplace Chaos hits and you need the right hire. This is a job for Sponsored Jobs. Indeed Sponsored Jobs gets you quality candidates when you need them most. Stop struggling to get your job post even seen on other sites. Match with quality candidates with Indeed's Sponsored Jobs. Get matched with and hire quality candidates who can drive the results that you need right now. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time. More results, when you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. And listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves at indeed.com/podcast. Just go to indeed.com/podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com/podcast.

Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, do it the right way with Indeed. So every single chapter of your life is going to ask you to decide something big before you feel ready, before you feel certain. And it's gonna be long before you have any evidence because guess what? You don't get evidence until you take action. And evidence is just data. And so before you know the outcome of everything, you're always making a decision. This is why when people are like, oh, I have imposter syndrome, I'm like, That's literally just called making a decision you've never made, like moving into something that you haven't done yet. Like everybody quote unquote would have imposter syndrome then. It's literally just being new at something. So I think your power comes from deciding that it's the right choice, that it's the choice that's actually gonna make you stronger, and it's the choice to go all in. And I have been thinking so much about the things that have really impacted and changed my life in a major way. When I look back at the times where I have fucking quantum leaped in my life, it was a decision that I I did not feel ready for. It felt way bigger than me. It felt like I was a psychopath for making that choice. It felt like it was something that was such a leap into a place that I was unprepared for. Like, it was just disastrous and messy, and it quantum leaped my life because it was me saying yes to something so much bigger than I felt ready for. And those are the things that when you say yes to and you set the date and you go all in and you're like, well, shit, like, I literally have no other choice now that I have money down on this event that I have no other choice but to fill it because I'm not canceling it, right? That is a quantum leap because it's like, okay, well, if you've never had an event before and all of a sudden you just committed to a 100-person or 200-person event, now after the event you are a person who has somehow, hopefully— and if not, it doesn't matter, it's just for your evolution— somehow, hopefully filled that event, ran the event, and went through all of the things that it takes to put that event on. So you have gone from someone who has not done it to someone who has, who is completely different on the other side. Was it a giant lift? Absolutely. Did it feel insane? Absolutely. Did it feel like you weren't gonna be able to do it multiple times throughout the entire thing? Absolutely. But are you 100% different and now have some major fucking street cred? Absolutely. So if you want to quantum leap your life, You have to go all in on decisions that feel absolutely insane, and you have to decide that it is the right choice even when it feels like the wrong choice. And you have to be a little bit crazy. You have to be a little delusional and tell yourself, this is good no matter what, even if it fails. You know how many things I have had that have failed? You know how many things that I've had that failed disastrously? And I've been like, well, I definitely learned a giant lesson from that, and I would have never, ever, ever gotten this experience if I wouldn't have it. Like, you guys have to make these decisions if you know that they're meant for you on your path. Nothing is guaranteed. If it was guaranteed, everyone would be doing it. It'd be so easy. But you have to trust yourself enough to know that you can handle whatever happens next. You can get through whatever failure. You can create the communities and the support to get through anything, to get through your darkest times, to get through your darkest days. This is what people do to gain confidence, and this is what people do to quantum leap their life. So stop worshiping certainty. It will keep you stuck every time. Start building self-trust by building community, showing up in rooms with other people who are doing this crazy shit as well, and knowing this is what it feels like. This is what big leaps take, and this is what it feels like. So you guys, I'm sending you so much love. I hope that I get to see you at the event. I hope that we get to hang out and we get to celebrate. And if not, then hopefully I get to see you at the next one. So go ahead, scroll down to show notes, go check it out. Otherwise you can always check me out on Instagram @loriharder. I will be posting about the event frequently, so you can go grab your ticket there. But you guys, we have already sold 25% of the tickets and we just opened up. So we have one more month, you guys. So definitely grab your ticket. I think we're going to absolutely sell out in the next couple weeks. So go check it out. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.