The Four Traits That Wildly Successful People Have In Common

There's so many takeaways in every single room, every single event, every single course. It's the person who thinks that there is no value, who literally will go through life without extracting the value and really learning these incredible lessons. And we're back with another episode of he said, she Said.

We have a whole free day ahead of us, and it feels so good. And by free day, I should clarify an admin day, a catch up day. But like, to have a day where you get to catch up on everything is a luxury when you are hustling.

Oh, my God. Okay, that's gonna lead us into what we're talking about, because we did not have this day at all. This was a tough decision that we made. We're actually. Chris and I, this year have decided to also make sure that we do the things that we've always wanted to do, like go to concerts. I have not been to a concert in years. Like maybe eight years. It's crazy.

And you love live music.

I love live music.

The fact that we put that back.

So an opportunity came up with one of our favorite couples who we literally were trying to find a weekend to do something with for the past five months. And an opportunity came up to go to Stagecoach with them. And I was like, okay, country music. Get to dress up. Get to be with some of our favorite people. Yes. This is a yes. So we put it in the calendar. And the thing is, it's like three days long. And so we wanted to go to all three days of Stagecoach. But it was a challenging decision to say, wow, we are at our max. You just got off of roundtable. We just got off of traveling. We just got off of speaking. Like, it's been back to back for quite a few weeks straight.

We're in a true Olympic sprint right now.

Yes, a true sprint. And so we had to make a tough decision to say, hey, we need one day, just one day to, like, rest, recover, catch up so that we can be fully present with them and so that we can feel good about what we're doing.

So, yeah, in other words, we made the tough decision. Cause we were so afraid of letting them down. Like, oh, God, are they gonna be disappointed that we can't come Friday? So we made the really tough decision of like, oh, God, is it gonna let em down or not? But we knew we needed this day. And we, like, I remember you and I were on the walk. We're like, we just have to tell em, like, we need this day. And that we'd rather give them the Best version of ourselves for two days than, like a really tired version of ourselves. Cause we go right into it. And now I know it's the most aligned decision ever.

But we almost did not call them. And this is gonna tie to one of the end things. But we almost did not call them. We almost said, let's just go, we can do it. Let's rally, knowing and then really talking it through and saying, we're gonna be a million times better. And if this was them coming to us, how would we feel? We'd say, oh, my God. Rest, recharge. Come when you feel good. And the reason that I wanted to share this with you today is because in order for Chris and I to keep up these relationships and to also keep up life, you have to have these conversations. Friends knowing that if maybe they did not like the decision, we don't know if we could be friends with people like this long term. Because this is going to be our life. And of course people are going to be disappointed. I would have been disappointed if my friends would have said this to me. Just because I want to do something with them. I want to spend that time with them. But it's the understanding portion of how do you keep up relationships? What a busy life. And if you really want to know, this is what it looks like. You have tough conversations. And we also know that they are leading the same exact type of life as we are. They are hustlers as well, and they have to do the same types of things.

Yep. And so it really boils into what we're going to talk about today. That is, what are the traits that keep you winning? I think anybody can win short term. Like, you can pull yourself up by bootstraps, try really hard, sprint run. Like, you can muster up a little bit of success for a temporary moment. But what are the traits that keep you winning long term? Because I know we say that we're on sprints, but our sprints have been back to back for years. And this has been a marathon made up of sprints of winning long term. So what do you think the first trade is?

Well, I love that we're giving people these, because I think that these are going to make you win in anything. I think this is relationship 101. And if you can master these, people will remember you. This is long game stuff that we're giving you. So the number one is enthusiasm.

Yes.

And for me, if someone shows up with enthusiasm in everything that they do, I'm like, man, I just want to be around that person. Because at the end of the day, I really believe we're just selling ourselves. We're just selling our energy. Whether that's a product, whether that is a course, whether that's being on stage, whether that is just showing up on a phone call or on a podcast. Enthusiasm is number one. You remember people who, who show up enthusiastic and that have energy and are excited to see you.

You do. And so let me give a real example of this. I just got done running our second two day roundtable. You remember this two day workshop that was born out of like, hey, we went, Brendan did this for us and we just wanted to do it once for other people and then they demanded another one and before you know it, we're doing a bunch of roundtables. Well, I just got done running a two day one the day before. The thing that nobody knows and the thing that nobody there knew is the day before, I got a bit of a bug. And it was enough of a bug where I threw up and enough of a bug where I literally passed out and took a two hour unexpected nap. And I am not a napper. All of these things the day before. And I went to bed that night. Do you remember how sick I was, Lori?

Oh, my God. I was actually scared. But staying calm.

We were both, like downright scared. Like, how are you going to do this Is some of the sickest I've been.

We literally were praying over him. I'm not even kidding. We were like praying, please let him feel better tomorrow. Is that crazy?

So, you know, we didn't know how he's gonna wake up. I woke up, you know, let's say a lot better, not fixed, but a lot better. But this is how it ties into enthusiasm. I knew I had to go show up with wild enthusiasm. Not just enthusiasm, wild enthusiasm. That next day, for every single person who trusted me and said, I'm going to get on a plane, I'm going to get in that room, I'm going to invest the money. I'm betting on these two days to change something for the positive for me. If I had shown up with just a good enough energy, if I had shown up and said, hey guys, you know what, I was really sick yesterday. Thank you for being here. No, that's not acceptable. It's not acceptable to show up in anything, in any situation without wild enthusiasm. So you know what you do? Just like Brendan always says, you find a way to be the generator of the energy. You generate the energy and you show up with wild enthusiasm. And that's what I did. And this thing was a smashing success, and I felt great internally because of that choice to show up with wild enthusiasm.

It reminds me of when I almost shit my pants speaking on stage and I still was wildly enthusiastic.

Meaning not from her being nervous, you guys, from her literally having to go number two stepping on the stage.

Thank God. So, you guys, five minutes into this talk that Chris and I were doing together, we. We had to play a video like it was part of our presentation. And I knew that. Thank God. Like, if I did not have this video to play, I literally, I would have never made it through that talk. Like, I would have been known as diarrhea pants the rest of the time.

We'll tell that story another time.

Okay, so number two. Number two. Number two. Moving into number two. No pun intended. Pun intended. The next one is to be a humble learner, always a student. I read a quote and it said something like, the expert always finds the value in everything. So even if you went into a room with people who you're like, what are these people going to give? Like, how are they going to add value to my life? Maybe it's even a group of people that you're like, oh, man, I got to go here, I got to go do that thing. There is always something there that you can learn, whether it's how you want to show up, how you don't want to show up, what, you know, what are they talking about, what's actually going on with these people's lives. Like, it's so many. There's so many takeaways in every single single room, every single event, every single course. It's the person who thinks that there is no value, who literally will go through life without extracting the value and really learning these incredible lessons. So I also love that we said being a humble learner, like being excited to show up in these rooms and learn. Because, Chris, you and I have been in rooms where we've been in with people who are not humble learners. And it is not a cute trait, you guys. It's such a turn off, mega turn off.

A humble learner is this. Number one, you should always be a learner, always have the attitude of a learner. And some people, you know, fall short there. But just to be a learner, a full time learner, is not good enough. To be a humble learner means, you know, that there's something you can learn from every single person that you come across. There is a lesson in every single person. There is value that can be added to you that you can learn from. In every single interaction that you come across and maintaining that humility of where's the value here? That adds to the playing the long game like nothing else.

I mean, I know that all of you have been in a situation where you're sitting across from someone and you're like, why did I say yes to this? That is an opportunity to say, how can I be patient? How can I find the value?

What can I learn?

Yep. What can I learn? Okay, number three, be grateful. Oh, my God. I have had people show up on my podcast where they are like, I'm just here because, like, I'm doing you a favor.

And that energy is serious.

Very apparent.

Yep.

That they're like, okay, let's get this done. I'm doing you a favor. What is this little podcast that I'm on? And I will tell you, I want to like, stop the podcast right there. It doesn't feel good. I'm like, I don't wanna force you to be here. I don't wanna be in this energy. So Chris and I decided. Cause we both have had that experience and have talked about it where you just feel like absolute shit. You're like. You just feel like the lowest of the low. Like, o, this is awful. That we have decided no matter what podcast we show up on, no matter what room we show up in, no matter how small it is, no matter if we get invited to speak at something and only one person shows up, we're going to act like it's 5,000. We're going to act like this is the biggest audience in the biggest deal that we have ever been on. Because that's what that person deserves. And that's how you should be to people. It will bring out the best in them, which will bring out the best in you, which will. You don't know what ripple effect that is causing. And I, I just. This is to my core how I believe you should show up for people. If you said yes, it's on you to be wildly grateful that that person is giving you their time and their audience, no matter how small it is.

Well, you know, having gratitude as your permanent attitude, as I would phrase it, it's a muscle that you build. And it starts from doing things that exercise gratitude. Like, when I wake up, I immediately first tell you I'm happier, healthier, wealthier, more fit than I was. But then I roll over and I say a quick 30 second prayer of everything I'm grateful for. Just like taking inventory. So I start my day with gratitude. And then I try and redirect my day to gratitude as the day goes on. And just like you said, every interaction I have with people, I find gratitude in it. I'm grateful that I get to be on the show. I'm grateful that I get to speak at this person in this person's group. It almost goes back. It's funny how these tie together. Wild enthusiasm is how you show up when you first choose gratitude. These are all connected.

We've had people who, like, man, they've got crazy email lists, They've got incredible audiences. They're like a million light years ahead of us. And I'm thinking of a couple people right now, like Jamie Kern Lima, Ed Mylat, Brendan Burchard. Those. They show up on our podcast and they say, oh, my God, thank you so much for this opportunity. I'm like, you kidding me, man? Are you kidding me? But the way that that makes you feel, you want to run through a wall for them, like making you feel like the most special person in the room, let alone in their life for that moment. It is crazy.

Tony Robbins did that. You remember?

Yes.

We were so nervous about Pocket. He showed up. We're like. It felt like there was no rush and that we were the only people in the world. He showed up with insane gratitude and wild enthusiasm.

That is a trait of a true leader. And that's why they are where they are, is because of that. Yep. So number four. I didn't complete the thought, though. The story about the stage. Chris, like the video, the five minute video is when I ran off stage to go to the bathroom. I did not tell them that. So there you go. We're just circling back. I didn't land the plane.

I don't even know. I don't even know if they're gonna connect that to the story that you told before.

The stage story where I almost shit my pants on stage. The video saved me. So put a video into your talk in case you ever have to go.

To the bathroom if you guys aren't picking up what she said. So we were speaking in front of 400 people. All of a sudden, Lori had to go to the bathroom. It wasn't going to be stopped. She knew that five minutes into us being on stage, we played a video that lasted about 10 minutes. So when that video hit and the lights went down, she went running off a stage in front of 400 people, ran to the bathroom, did her thing, and got back up on stage before the video was over there. Boom, there's the story.

There you go. Number four.

Over.

Deliver, over.

Deliver. Sounds like I want to make a joke related to your video. So over delivering. Remember these are traits that make you successful in the long run, right? That'll make you win forever. This is almost attached to the other ones. Think about when you have gratitude, then you show up with wild enthusiasm. When you show up with wild enthusiasm then you tend to over deliver and people will always reinvest in you. People will always recommend you or your product. People will always go to bat for you if you consistently over deliver. I'm going to stick my flag in the sand right now and say it is not enough to do good enough. It is not enough to just do what you promised. You must over deliver every single time your product. It's got to be better than they expected. Your attitude has got to be better than they expected. Your event, your inner everything needs to be better than they purchased. And when you over deliver then they will always continue to be a customer or an advocate for you for life.

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And if you're like oh my God, what does over deliver look like? I also want to share like I think people make the mistake of over promising things first.

Oh, two very different things. Yep.

Yes. So I, I want to share like if you're like oh my God, I, I feel like I'm already delivering so much and I have to deliver on this promise. Under promise and over deliver meaning don't sell yourself so much on something you know you can't over deliver on because that can be really overwhelming. Like if your Sales page has 50 things on it and you cannot cover all of them, how are you going to over deliver on that? It's better to under promise, make sure that you really cover certain topics and then give yourself room to over deliver on something.

If you over promise, you automatically will underdeliver. If you under promise, you will therefore likely over deliver. And that's a very important thing to remember. So make sure that you promise what you're going to do, but then find a way to do even better. And listen, humble brag moment yesterday at the end of running that two Day roundtable. Remember this was the second session.

Yep.

Everybody like stopped to say, hey, I just want to recognize you. And they recognize Nick, my brother too, for over delivering. I want to recognize you for doing what you said you're going to do and then blowing our minds. I want to recognize, like that's not how the ends of these things are supposed to go. I'm supposed to be thanking them, which I did. I'm supposed to be, you know, recapping their wins over the two days, which I did. But they take the time to pause and say, hey, we just want to. I want to let you know you're one of the real ones. And I'm not bragging about it. I'm literally saying that's what it looks like when you over deliver. Because that happened in the first one too. And in the first one, by the way, because of over delivering, they made us plan a third roundtable that they could come back to for accountability and they could meet each other again. That wasn't even part of the plan. They made us pick a date, make sure the hotel venue is going to be open, all of those things at the end of the second day of the first one that we did. That's why we're doing one on June 1st and 2nd. Right. And this group, same thing, they just, they said thank you for over delivering. And nothing feels better. Nothing feels better than when somebody volunteers that type of compliment. By the way, Shameless plug. Because we're doing more dates, we have like. Well, by the time you hear there's probably no seats for the June 1st and 2nd one, you can find out by texting me. But we do will have seats for a September 18th and 19th one in Scottsdale two day roundtable strategy session that nobody in the world knows about till right now. So if you guys want to grab one of those seats, it'll probably already be announced. By the time you hear this, all you gotta do is text the word roundtable to me at 310-421-0416 or you can just go to Chrisharder me Roundtable Again, that's Chrisharder Me. Chrisharder Meroundtable.

Amazing. You guys, these things are, these things are selling out fast because I just feel like so many people are wanting to be able to drop into something like this and go implement. I just love the, the combination of. Or I mean the, the in between of like large event and then long term mastermind. So it's your a la carte option. Yeah, it's a, it's a great a la carte option for people who are just like, you know, I just feel like I need, like a quick drop in recharge. I have these couple problems that I really want to solve or I really, really want to build my network. That's a huge one, too. Network is everything, you guys. It's where I get all my answers from when I'm stuck.

So, so grateful for you.

Go check that out. And until next time, we'll see you next week.

Thanks for listening. We love it. Appreciate you.

Sam.