The Ingredients For A Happy Life!

Water wants to move in order to stay fresh. It's just like your body, your body wants to move in order to feel good. And if you stay stagnant, just like a body of water, you're going to grow weird bacteria. You're literally going to start to have that energy, feel disorganized because it wants to move through you. So every single day, you and I, Chris, make sure that we move. And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said and we're actually back in California.

How you feeling about it, babe?

The happiest I can remember feeling in a really long time.

How are you really put into words for me? How do you feel when you get back here?

Euphoric.

I mean, for me it is the perfect recipe of happiness. Because we are outside, there is moisture in the air, which, you know, that I'm obsessed with. There is water nearby, people everywhere hustle, and bustle, energy. There's palm trees there where we live specifically, we probably talk to anywhere from like 20 to 50 people on our walks every single time because it is just super social, packed with people. And so our dogs just always give us great conversations with people. And I think for me, especially when you work a lot by yourself during the day, that feels like community to have all of these mini conversations that just give you energy because really it is a beautiful area with such. I just feel like it's the most kind, neighborly people that we've lived amongst yet.

It's interesting you say that. That's kind of a good segue into what we said. You know, we want to talk about today. Whenever we're here, you know, we live really close to the water in the, the California home here in Newport beach and there's tons of surfers. So every day we see people coming and going in their wetsuits and, you know, hanging their surfboard on their truck. And, you know, we have tons of interactions with surfers.

Our 70 year old neighbor, actually.

Oh yeah. Every morning. Yep.

Wakes up every single day and he's happy as a clam.

And here's what we noticed. I said to Laurie yesterday on our walk, after walking past a guy who's just totally jovial like they all are, I go, you know, I've never met an unhappy surfer. And then I took it a step further. I was like, wait, they're not just never unhappy. I've never met a surfer who wasn't totally outgoing, totally kind. You could tell, like they have a lot of joy in that moment and in that life. And I was like, oh my God, it makes sense. They have all the ingredients to live a happy life. Like, if you said, okay, dang it, once and for all, I want to live a happy life, a perfect life. And there's no such thing as a perfect life. But if that was your goal, right, you'd say, you'd work backwards. You'd say, what ingredients do I need on a daily basis to lead an extraordinary happy life? And those ingredients match the ingredients that a surfer has every single day in their life. Think about it. They've got community. I don't know if you've ever watched surfers. They're out there bobbing around together in community, meeting new people. It's a very tight knit community, watching out for each other, bonding by doing a sport together. So they've got community and they've got sunshine. They've got exercise. I'm telling you, if you guys are not moving your body, it doesn't have to be like, go to the gym and get your butt kicked. If you're not moving your body in a challenging way every single day, that's part of your unhappiness, believe it or not. And, and best of all, they have challenge. And I think this is the one that'll surprise you. But they have the challenge of getting their butt kicked off their board all the time. They have the challenge of a bigger, scarier wave. They have the challenge of having to paddle out against the current over the waves. They have the challenge of grabbing a wave before the guy next to him does. They have everything it takes, you know, exercise, community, challenge, the pursuit of something. The pursuit of a goal is really what makes you happy.

Yeah. If you think about. It's funny I say to you sometimes, like at the end of a workday, I'm like, oh, I'm getting weird. Like your energy wants to move. So think about it in terms of how you even live out your day. If you're wondering why you're not feeling happy and you did a little bit of exercise in the morning, but every single night you're feeling frustrated, it's because you are a body made of energy and it wants to, to move. So I know every single day I'm like, oh, I'm getting weird. Like, I need to go for a walk. Because energy, especially think of it in terms of even like water, water wants to move in order to stay fresh. It's just like your body, your body wants to move in order to feel good. And if you stay stagnant, just like a body of water, you're going to grow weird bacteria. You're literally going to start to have that energy, feel disorganized, because it wants to move through you. So every single day, you and I, Chris, make sure that we move.

You know, one of the other ingredients that surfers have is the ingredient of learning, right? So not only are they in the pursuit of a goal, but part of that pursuit means you have to be learning. They're always learning new tricks. They're always, you know, a beginner is learning how to catch a bigger wave. Somebody who has been surfing their whole life. They're always trying to learn new tricks. But that ingredient of learning is also one of the important ingredients. I'm telling you, if you want to live an extraordinary life, Community, moving your body, challenge. The pursuit of a goal, learning. What are some other ingredients that they have?

Well, I just keep going back to challenge, actually, because I think that when people think of happiness, they don't include challenge. And this is actually something that was in my keynote last year that I did this keynote, like, I don't know, six, seven times. And it always felt like one of the most important pieces of the puzzle, because people are like, happiness means that you get to go and do what you want during the day or that you're hanging out with all the right people. Yeah, those are all really, really important. But it's kind of like the happiness cake that you're putting together, and if you're missing one ingredient, it's gonna kind of throw off the whole cake. Can you still eat it?

Yeah, but it's just not quite right.

And you can't put your finger on why. And I think people leave challenge out of that all of the time. And I know you and have had a life where when we first started really being successful in network marketing, like, we didn't really have to work super well. We worked super hard, but we had a lot of time to ourselves.

We reached a tipping point.

And I remember that we were like, wait a minute, this has gotten easy for us. And we're starting to feel really, like, bored, Anxious. We were starting to feel bored, anxious and antsy. Yes. And so we had this moment of, wow, we're not challenging ourselves in new arenas. And so that became such an important piece of the puzzle for us. So whenever we start to feel that way, I can always pinpoint back to, I'm doing the things that are easy for me. And even though, yes, they're work and they take up a lot of time, do they feel easy for you? Because progress and growth is going to be the thing that's going to make you actually complete that happiness cake.

I think the last ingredient that we haven't talked about yet is contribution. You know, when you think about surfers, they're always when I said they have a tight knit community because we've been out there, we've gotten lots of lessons from surfers. We've been around a lot of them. They're always trying to contribute towards each other by teaching the person next to them how to do a better job. Like a stranger next to a stranger, the stranger's gonna teach the other stranger how to do a better job. It's just the way that they are built. And so that contribution in any form is another one of those ingredients. So this is the part where if you wanna live an extraordinary life, you start to list these things and you start to take inventory of. Do you have these in your life? Right. I'm not kidding. You should almost hit pause and get a piece of paper or grab the notes on your iPhone and start listing out these components, these ingredients, and then seeing if you have them in your life. And if you don't, then you gotta figure out where to go find them so that you can have the complete meal, so to speak, when it's done. So again, I would write down community. Do you have community or not? And sometimes you have it and you don't realize it. And what you don't take inventory of, you don't technically have. So you might be like, oh, I don't have community. But then you're like, wait, I do. I have these people over here and I've got this online community over here and I've got this. So be real with yourself. Do you have community or not? The next thing is you would write down movement. Do you have daily movement with your body? Do you have exercise in some form? If not, it's time to go find it.

How can you bookend it too? I think that's really important. Do a little something in the morning and a little something in the evening.

Yep. The next one's nature. Do you have nature and especially sunshine in some form? And listen, for those of you like in the Midwest or out east when it's winter, I get it, it's real. We spent the first 30 years of our life living there, where you go half the winter and you don't see the sunshine and it's hard to get outside because it's so dang cold.

That's when that was even more important for us to get outside.

Right. So Maybe this was a big one for you. Maybe you got to get radical here and figure out how can you start inserting that on a more regular basis if you have to go three, four, five, six months without being outside in nature and being able to plug in the sunshine and some of these. Remember, there's not easy answers to. So, you know, contribution. Who would you contribute to? What do you contribute to? Are you teaching other people or are you donating money on a regular basis? Or are you volunteering somewhere on a regular basis? But do you have that contribution ingredient in your life? Challenge. I mean, Lori, dissected challenge. Now, this is funny. I don't think there's a person listening that doesn't have challenge in their life. This might be the most obvious one for you to write down, but this might reframe it for you. When you do write it down, I bet every day you wake up and you're pissing, moaning about this challenge and that challenge, and, oh, I hate that I haven't solved this yet. I hate that I keep bumping up against this problem. I hate that I've got this challenge over here every single day. But maybe by writing this down as one of the ingredients that makes a perfect or not a perfect, but a happy life, maybe you start to embrace that challenge. Because you can't have. You can't have a happy life when it is totally void of any form of challenge. I know that sounds crazy, but you gotta trust me on this. We've been in both places. And then the last one is the pursuit of a high goal, the pursuit of learning something. Do you have that ingredient? Write it down. If you don't, it's time for you to pick up a hobby. It's time for you to decide to go back to school. It's time for you to figure out, I want to learn something new and pursue a goal around this.

You know, a lot of these things are going to feel hard for people to implement into their life. Like, I can't move twice a day. Well, I can't do that because I'm not this. And the second we lend ourselves to the I can'ts, we're really offering up our happiness. Like, we give it away. So just being able to work slowly at these things and put the power back into your own hands by saying, I can do that. I can take 5, 10 minutes in the evening to go, I don't know, jump on my mini trampoline just to get my energy moving. I can do 10 minutes of dancing in my living room with My baby just to make sure I kind of like reorganize and flush out that weird energy from sitting throughout the day at work. So taking the power back by really noticing when you're saying I can't and just say, okay, I get to do this because. Because without one of those ingredients and giving your power away by saying I can't do that, you're not ever going to feel what we're talking about. So one of the biggest things that I had to do at first when I realized this happiness cake and all of the ingredients was to take my power back and stop saying, well, I can't and I don't live there and I don't have that life. Because if you want that life, you have to get really real with yourself and figure out all of the ways that you can create it in your current, current reality, even though it feels out of reach. Because I have met people who have five kids, seven kids, no lie, and they somehow get really gritty and figure it out. So I think taking the power back for this ingredient cake and knowing that.

You can do it, absolutely no excuses, no, I can't. There's always a way. You know that cheesy old saying, where there's a will, there's a way. It's true. It's the truest saying on the planet. So write down these ingredients and then see, do I have them? If not, it is up to you to seek them. And when you do have them all at once, I can promise you, like I literally will stick my flag here. You never have to listen to show again if I'm wrong. If you have all of those ingredients, then you will be a very happy individual leading a very happy life.

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And if you want community like okay listen, if you're an entrepreneur or a really high performing executive, right? If you're one of these high performers that's going somewhere big and you're missing that community component. Because community doesn't just mean oh, do I have people around me that know me, like me, support me. Community is like Do I have people around me that challenge me? Community is. Do I have people around me that are gonna lend to my greater mission that I'm pursuing? Community is like, do I have people that can kick me back in the game? Or give me the shortcut here, Give me the shortcut there. That's one ingredient that is so important to master. Lori and I are putting together something called the Dinner series, where it's going to be that community only the highest performers and the biggest dreamers are welcome. Nobody else is. Welco. And if you identify with that, it's gonna be three of the most elegant, beautiful dinners you have seen. Like, white tablecloths on lawns. There's, like, gorgeous string lights. You name it. Like, lots of crazy perks. And we're gonna ask you to dress up for them, and we're gonna get you lots of content while you're at them. And preceding each of those dinners is gonna be a half a day. Half a day of super intentional networking. I call them intentional collisions, where we're gonna make you network with everybody else in the group because you're one introduction away from everything you need this year. You just don't know the people yet. Well, we're known for knowing the people. We're known for our network. Everything we have has come from our network. And we decided this year, let's just say we're going to rent it out to you. So our network will become your network. And if you're interested in that, again, if you're not a big dreamer, if you're not going big places, this is not for you. But if you are and you want to be a part of these three dinners and these three half days of intentional collisions, these intentional networking, if you want to basically let your. Let our network become your network, only if you're ready for that, then go ahead and text us the word dinner, and we'll start sending you a little bit of information on this. Text us the word dinner to 310-42-10416. Again, text us the word dinner to 310-421-0416. And if you match this description, then we'll send you an invitation to these three dinners.

All right, you guys, we are so grateful for you, and we will talk to you next week.

Adios.