The Personality Trait That Will Change Your Future (and ANYONE Can Learn It!)

You can have a completely different life by changing what you believe is possible for yourself. By changing what you believe are personality traits that you think can't be changed. They 100% can be. Because I used to believe that I was a undisciplined, lazy, shy, anxiety ridden person. I don't even identify with those words anymore.

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Welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration. And you guys, I am fitting in this quickie at 6:53am in the morning on my phone right now and I'm so excited for my day. I get to teach into the Growth Day app for about 45 minutes today. I do this every single month. If you guys don't know what the Growth Day app is, definitely go check it out. It's in show notes. I love it because I can go learn from some of my favorite teachers in there. And this morning I have on Brenda Burchard who obviously is the founder and teaches in there all the time, but he is talking about advanced human behavior and something that I absolutely loved that he was teaching on today was talking about. If you cultivate the personality trait of conscientiousness, if you think about conscientiousness as self awareness, if you truly develop this, this is not only affected to the income that you make, but this is one of the traits that is studied to be connected the most to longevity. And the reason for that is that you are aware of what you need. You are aware of what you're doing. You are aware of the things you're doing that are sabotaging you. You are aware the things that are good for you. You are aware of the things that you need to do every single day in order to live a healthier life. And if it's directly tied to your income and also your relationships, this is about paying attention. So I was thinking about the things in my life that have shifted recently. The things that I've wanted to change for long periods of time that did not change. And it wasn't until I put in awareness practices, self consciousness, being self conscious around knowing what it is that I want to do and putting in place something that is going to help me do that. Because we know that your focus goes where your attention is, right? Your focus goes where your attention is is. And if you are not paying attention to something, it's not going to change. So if you guys are thinking of different things in your life that you want to change, maybe let's just use health for this first one, if you want your health to change, you actually have to put in practices every single day that are going to bring awareness to that, that are going to jog your memory, that are going to say, hey, this is important to pay attention to. And so for me, it's always been about trying to get help or hire someone or join a program. So when I first wanted to start changing my nutrition, I joined a nutrition program online. And I knew in that nutrition program that I needed to check in every single day. And I even had a nutrition coach that I checked in every single week. Because if I didn't have something that forced me to bring my attention and awareness to it every single day, I, I would not be focused on it. I'd fall right back into the habits that I was doing. So the next thing that I wanted to change this last year was I wanted to get better at my social media. I wanted to truly grow it. I wanted to truly bring in new people that I wanted to talk to, I wanted to connect deeper with the people online, I wanted to tell my story more online. I really wanted to have a presence where it could impact people online. And so I hired a team in the beginning to figure out how I could make sure I was showing up online. And I'll tell you, this has been almost two years in the making of figuring out what works with my audience, what doesn't, what makes me show up. When am I late and I'm still struggling with it, but it has gotten, I would say, 70% better. I am consistent, I am connecting. I have grown my audience by thousands and thousands and thousands. And it has accomplished what I've wanted to accomplish. Knowing that it's always a progress in the making, but it has changed because I've done something to pay attention to it. And I know I'm giving you examples of times that I've paid, but when you pay, you pay attention. Yes, there have been times that I have been able to create things without paying, but I've had to pay in a different way. I've had to meet up with people and go into different rooms where I could network with people, or go and get brave and ask people if they would be my accountability partner. And you pay in the form of discomfort. You pay in the form of knowing that you're going to get rejected by people who don't want to be your accountability partner. You are always somehow exchanging some form of currency in order to create this self awareness and discipline that you need to become the person that you want to be. And in this training today that I'm listening to with Brendon Burchard on the Growth Day app, he's talking about how we think that we have these fixed personality traits. And when you think about it, there's a book by Carol Dweck called Growth Mindset. And it's about a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. And having a growth mindset is also knowing that there's majority of the personality traits that you have. And in fact, I would almost say all of them are learned, which means you can also unlearn them and learn a new personality trait. So the biggest things for me this year, the personality traits that I am working on are I wanna be an organized person, organization and discipline. I wanna be organized and disciplined. And if I can tell you that growing up, these two words, organize and discipline, these were the furthest things that I thought that I had. I truly did not think as a personality trait that I was disciplined or organized. And I thought that I could never learn them. But there were some things in my life that were not helping me feel that way. The environment that I was in, the examples that I was seeing, there was not discipline and there was not organization in those things. Now, in certain things, yes, there was. You know, my mom was immaculate at keeping the house clean. My mom was immaculate at getting food on the table for dinner and making it absolutely incredible. My parents were immaculate at hugging and showing love and making that a habit. But as far as traits for the workforce or other things like that, just in wanting to change habits or in health, those things were not the things that I was seeing in my daily life. But what you can do right now is think about the things you are good at. Maybe you are someone who is amazing at keeping the house clean. Maybe you are someone who is incredible in your friendships. Maybe you are someone who has kept the habit up of a hobby. And believe it or not, that is a huge trait. That is a huge, incredible discipline trait to be able to show up for, for a hobby frequently that shows that you are able to figure out how to show up for other things. There's something that you are motivated by that you are showing up for. It's learning how to create that other form of motivation. Maybe it's understanding that you need to not just get fixed on the immediate outcome, but let yourself get so enamored with the potential outcome of the next few months or of the next few years and get stuck so incredibly intoxicated by the thought of what could be. If you keep showing up for this that you're gonna show up for that thing. But remembering today that your personality is not what you think it is. Your personality is just a collection of the things that you have done every single day. And so if you start to change the things that you've done every single day and bring conscientiousness and awareness to. To the things that you're doing and start to implement ways that you can stay in those things, that this is going to dramatically shift who you are. Your personality can dramatically change over a matter of time. I was just talking to a woman. She has an incredible business. It's called Ms. Diamond Ring. She essentially helps people when they're picking out any sort of diamond. And she'll help source this incredible piece of jewelry for you. And she had sent me a little voice note because we were doing a giveaway together this week. Actually, it's tomorrow on Friday. And go check out my page. She's doing a giveaway for an incredible charity. And she told me that she came to my event called the Bliss project 10 years ago. And she said that at that time she was not in a great place. And she came to the event and just what she heard there and what she was around and what she experienced sparked this idea that she wanted to create the business that she has now. And fast forward 10 years, she has this incredible business in this completely different life and this incredible relationship. And all of that happened because the beliefs changed around who she could be and what she could be and what was possible. And 10 years later, she doesn't even. I can imagine she didn't say this, but she doesn't even recognize the person she is. Because you are creating a completely different person through different things, which creates a different personality, which creates a different life. So 10 years might seem far, but I'm telling you, when you think about the last 10 years, it actually goes by in an instant. And if we just tweak these tiny things that we believe about ourselves, these tiny shifts, we're able to create this completely different life in one year. You guys, one year. You can have a completely different life by changing what you believe is possible for yourself by changing what you believe are personality traits that you think can't be changed. They 100% can be. Because I used to believe that I was a undisciplined, lazy, shy, anxiety ridden person. I don't even identify with those words anymore because I paid attention and paid for things to be in my life so that I show up. That's the only difference. And I know that this is possible for you. It starts small and it compounds and it stacks. It is these small things that are the big things. And if you're anything like I was, I was a bit extreme. So I'd try to go super extreme and change everything all at once. That's it. I'm not doing this anymore.

I'm never touching that food. I'm never going around those people.

I'm not gonna be this person. And then you go so extreme that when you go back to those things, it's like you binge on all the things that are horrible for you. And you go right back to the place, to the identity, to securing that position, to locking in that past identity, saying, look, I did it again. This is who I am. No, it's because we did it wrong. We went too fast, we went too hard.

We took all the joy out of our life immediately.

Because right now, you guys, all your joy is in those things that are harmful to you. All your joy is wrapped up in the quick hits. All your joy is wrapped up in those people that truly aren't great for you. So we need to start to learn how to transfer the joy and start to find joy in different ways. And this is where the challenge is. This is where the challenge is. So if you can start to wrap joy and associate joy with these new habits, you know, if you're going to start to go for a walk, maybe start to go for a 20 minute walk, not an hour long walk, and make your favorite playlist during it and just think about the things that you want to be doing. Daydream, go on a daydream walk for 20 minutes and start associating joy with the things that didn't seem very joyful. Start associating good things with things that didn't seem so pleasurable. Right. I used to, at the end of the week, if I went to the gym four different times because I was trying to really go to the gym, or three different times I would go and buy myself a new sports bra. Was it starting to get expensive?

Yes.

Did I enjoy it? Yes. But I was paying for something that was making me go do things that helped me in my life, that helped me make more income as well in the long run. And I knew that. So what are the things that if you hit that goal on Friday, you can go and do something that makes you happy and try not to make the thing that makes you happy be. If you're creating a health plan and you're sticking to a health plan, Friday shouldn't be a big cheat meal, it should go and be something else that you can start associating joy with that doesn't sabotage you. And so that's where we typically go wrong. We're like, oh, I did it. Let's go do the thing that actually sabotages all of the work that I did. Maybe you join a class that brings you a lot of joy. Maybe you start that hobby. Maybe you go to pottery class, maybe you have a dance class. Maybe you go down to the beach and you just sit and relax and you bring some healthy food, whatever that is. We have to start bringing massive self awareness and conscientiousness to it if we want that personality trait to change and if we want our income to change.

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So you guys, I'm sending you so much love. I hope this is your reminder that if we're not thinking about it, it's not changing. It's the simple act of what do you need to do to trigger the thoughts in the morning to bring self awareness and conscientiousness to the change. So you guys, if you're more interested in learning deeper on advanced behavior change, right now in the growth app, there's a lot of people teaching on it, including myself. I'm gonna go teach on it this afternoon for 45 minutes into the group. You can go down to the show notes and check it out. You can get a free trial in there. In fact, in the app there's also journaling. There's different ways that you can set up all of your goals throughout there and constantly check in and get pinged so that you rem. So go and check it out. It is something super cool that has helped me to make sure that I am journaling as much as possible because my phone is always with me and so is the app. So you guys go and check it out and until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.