The time and energy investment that paid off the most!

I was exhausted because I was trying to keep these inner circle relationships and go really deep with them while constantly spending time with people who weren't in the inner circle. I was feeling tired because maybe those people weren't 100% for me. They weren't giving me energy back. And I was saying yes to things. This is the key. I was saying yes to things I didn't want to say yes to. And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

All right, babe, you know what we do on these? I ask, you share a tip about Glosi. Why is it working? And hold on, let me frame this. Let me frame this. All right, I just went out to lunch with a buddy yesterday and I hadn't seen him in nine months. And he actually asked me. He goes, dude, what are you doing? Like, did you get work done? First of all, that's how you know we're in la. Newport is that. A friend of mine actually asked if I got work done, but he was dead serious. He's like, no, you don't get it. You look totally different. Something's different about you. You look really, really different. And the only thing I could think of was glossy. Glossy. I'm not shitting you.

Okay, so Chris literally has always been this way where he thinks if one, like, serving of something is good for you, then three must be great for you.

Less logic. If one is good, two is better, three is ultimate.

Which is not necessarily true, but you can take that with Gloucey. But anyway, so until I do another run, we don't have that big of a stash at home. And, like, when you do a run, you have to do a huge run. And when I say we don't have that big of a stash, like, I only did so many single sticks and so many are going to events. So that's why I'm literally like, do not cut into my stash.

If you have an event and you're expecting glossy there as a sponsor, I'm the one that's guilty if there's not enough sticks. Okay? So I've been taking three a day. Dude accused me of like, dude, did you get work done? And I'm like, no, but it was glossy. So share a glossy fact. Like, why does it show?

All right, well, I'm going to share something outside of what you're talking about because it is Memorial Day weekend right now, and you and I have had some cocktails, and I know that so many people are eating what they don't normally eat and grilling out and cooking out and glossy is so amazing for bloating and just keeping yourself on track. Feeling good in your body because it helps with digestion, because the probiotic. But there's so many things in there that help with bloating. So if you go check out information on prickly pear, that's amazing for bloating, there is the probiotic that helps with digestion. There's the coconut water powder if you're hydrated, that also helps with bloating. So you guys go and check it out. If you are feeling maybe not so great from the holiday weekend, the faster you get it into your body. I'm telling you, I just. I feel. I feel amazing every single day.

I drink my third one every single night before I go to bed. So I wake up skinny.

It works. So many people are saying, you were just on a call with someone who was like, oh, my God, I want to get this in my office. Because she said that she wakes up feeling so lean and her stomach is so flat when she drinks it at night. So you and I have started drinking it at night, too.

Whatever works. I'll take it. Okay, so, guys, go to getglosi.com and use coupon code happy to get 15% off. Because you're a podcast listener and we love you. We want to say thank you for supporting my beautiful wife. Get glossy. That's G, L, O, C I, by the way, get gloc.com, coupon code happy, 15% off. Okay, here's what I want to talk about today. I just did a talk, a speech, a teaching, whatever you want to call it, into Chris Winfield and Jen Gottlieb's gigantic mastermind that they have. And I taught about the four different, like, tiers of your relationship, right? The bullseye, then the inner circle, then the physical tier, and the virtual tier, right? People that you haven't met yet.

So this is of all the relationships.

All your relationships in your life fall in one of these four tiers right now. That's not what I want to talk about tonight. Somebody on there, after I taught, we did Q and A, asked a great question. She said, I kind of watch you on Instagram and I kind of watch you from afar, and everything you just taught sounds exhausting. Like, I understand the importance of relationships. I understand the importance of, like, a killer network, but how do you do it? Because I don't think I'd have the time and the energy to keep that kind of network up. And my answer was, it is exhausting and not In a bad way. But it is tiring. It takes a lot of energy. It takes a lot of time making all of these people feel seen and important because they are. And guess what? Like anything else in the world, if it's something that you want, it's gonna take a lot of time and energy invested into it to get the payoff.

I have to say though, at first I thought it was gonna be really exhausting. And the more that I got clear on exactly who I wanna hang around, what I was exhausted because I was hanging out still, like trying to keep these inner circle relationships and go really deep with them, while also kind of like constantly spending time with people who weren't in the inner circle. And so what was happening is that I was feeling tired because maybe those people weren't 100% for me. They weren't giving me energy back. And I was saying yes to things. This is the key. I was saying yes to things I didn't wanna say yes to. Now, one of the hardest things for us this whole past year, I'm a little more ahead than you are. Has been saying no to things that just don't quite make the cut.

Meaning, oh, more than a year. Your no muscle has been awesome for two to three years.

Yeah, maybe two to three years. I feel like you this last year have been like, I have to do it because I can't survive and I can't keep my inner circle relationships as tight as I would want.

Yeah. Well, my two full time careers now. Right. Building Frello and then keeping up personal brand, it just literally doesn't allow for it. So it's allowed me to get a lot more crystal clear on who's a hell yes and who's not a hell yes.

So then when we're spending time with those people, who are the people when they're in our inner circle, we ask the question, like, are these people that we see in our lives when we're 70, when we're 80, like that is how we know that's what makes it an investment is because this is an investment in a very long lifetime relationship. So when we get clear on those people. The thing is, is that when you spend time with him, you don't get drained. You actually get filled up. So it's not like, oh my God, that sounds exhausting to me. Yeah, initially when Chris and I make the plans and the thought of like getting on the airplane to go and see the people, yeah, that sounds tiring. But the second we're there, we're like, I am so Glad we invested this time. They just helped us with a question that they didn't even know where they're gonna have the answer to. Like, this stuff happens every single time we hang out with people that we're really close to.

You're correct. But you're also just referring to the first two rings. Of the four rings, you're talking about the bullseye. Those are ride or Die's family, Best, best, best friends in the world. And then inner circle, very close friends. You see them a lot. But then those third and fourth rings are equally important in many, many ways, and that is your physical circle, physical ring, and your virtual circle or your virtual ring. Because sometimes someone from your virtual ring works their way all the way into, like, your inner circle or your bullseye eventually. So true. And so, not to mention, like, we're talking not just from a ooh, who do you want to be friends? The question in the context and the whole presentation was around having a valuable network. And you need to invest in and you need to pour into that third ring, the physical ring, and the fourth ring, the virtual ring, if you want to have a fully valuable network. These are people that support you or support your show or support your product. They're the ones that, you know, those people that you've never met online, but you're like, God, I like them. I would call them a friend because they're always so supportive.

I've got a lot. Yeah.

And then, of course, you got to support them back, because life is about reciprocity. Life is about an equal energy exchange. And that's what the precipice of her question was, was if you're really working hard, text this person back, DM this person back. Maybe speak into their group, maybe do these things. She's like, that sounds exhausting. And the truth is, I don't like the word exhausting, because it's not. The truth is, it is a major energy investment. Yes, but one that is worthwhile, because anytime you need something, you will never want for a solution for that thing that you need.

So true.

Because your four rings of these relationships, the answer will be in there. The favor will be in there. The connection will be in there. The introduction will be in there. The how to will be right. I think maybe this is where people go wrong. If you are in a place where you're trying to really build something extraordinary, then you can't get by on just your bullseye, and you can't get by in just your inner circle. You have to invest in that third and fourth Ring as well. And that ring, those rings will invest back in you.

Because if you're not investing in to people, this is what I'm hearing and this is what I know to be true for my life. If we're not investing in those people, let's say, you know, let's just use like we hang out with a lot of people who. And invest in a lot of people who also do what we do, like digital courses, masterminds, events. If we didn't invest in them, then when we go to fill our stuff or when we go to find speakers, we'd be spending a lot more time and a lot more energy and a ton more.

Oh, for sure.

Because we'd have to pay them.

Yeah.

So what's happening is like a lot of. And yes, we do pay some of our speakers for sure, in certain things, but we also don't pay a lot of our speakers because it's a big value add for them to be able to come and speak in that group as well. So. And because we do favors back and forth and so as you guys can see just by that last sentence is that you are going to invest your time somewhere. I would rather invest it into relationships.

Yep. You're going to invest your resources somewhere. Ready. You're either going to be buying Facebook ads and Instagram ads to reach people or you're going to be investing your time to be on their show, investing your energy, speaking into their group, investing. Right. Either way, you're making an investment of resources. Choose wisely what it is. It's interesting. So if you want to build something massive in life, if you want to change as many lives as possible, if you've got a great big audacious dream, if, if you know you're put here for something extraordinary, then make sure you're investing in all four of those rings of your relationships. Because where you're trying to go and what you're trying to build will be that much easier. And this is what we want for you guys, if you want it for yourself. We want you to have the best, most extraordinary life possible. And it takes a village to do so.

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All right, guys, thanks for listening. Short and sweet. Make sure you're investing in relationships. If you expect them to invest back in you, just like a marriage, like my marriage or Lori, I have to invest in you. You do, otherwise you won't invest it back to me. Okay, how can I pay you? Should we hit pause and I'll go pay you? All right, guys, I love and appreciate you listening. And by the way, if you're a couple or if there's a couple individuals on here that want those last couple spots to travel with us to Italy in October, we're doing the dopest, most high level, like experiences that money cannot buy. I'm not exaggerating when I say that literally experiences that money cannot buy. Oh, my God, I'm so in Florence, Italy, and in Tuscany and we got a couple spots. So all you have to do is go to Chrisharder me Italy, check it out, either grab a spot or text us a question. DM us a question. Happy to talk about any of those.

And there are epic people going, oh.

My God, the best is almost full.

And we are so excited about every single person. We can't wait to spend time with them. And we think that you could make the perfect addition. So give us some questions.

Tell you what, this is how you quickly expand your network.

Oh, absolutely.

Going on a trip with these kind of people. All right, cool. Chris Herder, me forward slash Italy. Peace out.