Top 3 Strategies To Expand Your Circle Of Influence

The people who come willingly by following your example, you got to be grateful that they are lifelong friends that are coming along for the ride. But the people that you feel like you're dragging into your new life, the ones that may not be cheering on your goals, the ones that may be questioning your motives, the ones that may be questioning why you're spending so much time doing this and that, that you didn't do before, those are the ones that you gotta stop dragging into your new life.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

And we were just sitting here reflecting on how freaking awesome our circle of influence is. How kind, how powerful, how helpful, how like life saving. Listen, we owe this extraordinary life to a lot of different things, but I think one of the biggest things is we owe it to the circle of influence, the circle of friends, the circle of connections that we've built. And that's what we kind of wanted to jam on a little bit today.

We're gonna give you three things around. Expanding your circle of influence and how to do that. But really, I just wanna mirror what he said, looking back at all of just the needle moving moves or the intros from the people in our life. And I also just wanna look at Chris, like through the years, all of the different people in relationships that we have chose to nurture and keep up. And as we give these to you, I also wanna say it is this conscious decision to really keep up the relationships that come into your life strategically. Not necessarily knowing that they're going to give you something, but knowing that these people are valuable to you and you wan value to them and what that looks like.

Well, you nailed it. And I want to make sure this is damn clear what you're saying. You strategically keep curating the circle of influence in your life, not because you think they're going to give you something, but because you know it's going to make your life better if you are paying attention to building the best circle of influence you can possibly build. There's no other way. There's no bad outcome of constantly up leveling, of constantly tweaking, of constantly improving your circle of influence. But there are very bad outcomes if you're not conscious of this, if you're just kind of letting it form, if you're just taking a lazy approach to it. Let me give you real examples. This is why we wanted to do this episode today. This week alone, I paired a multimillion dollar investor with one of my friends who's raising money. Yesterday we got off a business Call with friends in our circle of influence who are going to help us with a business. What would you call it? Lori?

Just a big opportunity business move. An opportunity for a current business that.

Would have been way more expensive and took way longer if not for the shortcut, the bridge that they're building for us. I'm telling you, your circle of influence is everything. But it doesn't happen on accident. Hence why we wanted to give you the three ways that we think we've really been able to build a powerful circle of influence.

All right, so number one, build the container, build you wish existed.

And this is for everyone who's like, well, I don't have people around me that could help me with my goals or I don't know who to turn to or I don't know how to find these people. You know the old cheesy saying from was it field of dreams? If you build it, they will come. A lot of times that's a BS line, but in this case it's a true one. If you build the container that you wish existed, start locally or start online, and then showed up consistently and added value to that container, then you'd be surprised at how quickly you start attracting brand new people that you did not know five minutes ago but are absolutely up leveling your circle of influence. Give some examples, Lori.

Well, I want to give the example of in the beginning. So when I was new at things, when I did not have money, when I wasn't out in the world, I'm looking back at like, oh my God, it was like 13 years ago, maybe more. Minneapolis when I lived in Minneapolis and we had lost everything. We lost our home, moved into a smaller place. I was still working at An LA Fitness. I wasn't out on my own, you guys, and I really wanted to go out on my own. I really wanted my own business. I really wanted to be, we weren't coining it an influencer back then. I wanted to be a person of influence. And honestly, nobody knew who I was. I didn't have a big circle of friends. I had just started out, but I wanted to be hosting these events and these female meetups where sometimes we talk about health and wellness and fitness and mindset and mental health and I didn't know where to turn in order to number one, host these things because I didn't really have a spot at the time. I was still working at An LA Fitness and two, who in the heck would come? So what I ended up doing was asking a friend who had a little.

Conference room in Their apartment building, a.

Conference room in their apartment building. And I ended up saying like, okay, how much does this cost? Is it free? And ended up being free as long as you put your name in. And so many people have these things, Even if they're 50 bucks, you guys, you can figure out how to get 50 bucks in order to rent these rooms. And we made flyers. We made flyers in that apartment. We put it out on Facebook. We made it our mission to ask all of our friends if they wanted to go. We just wanted to get this meetup together of women who were into wellness and health and do like a little mini hour long seminar and connect them and share with them what we wanted to do at the time we were starting network marketing. And I wanted to add value, though. I want to give you that key thing is that not only did I want to create this container and get people there, but I wanted to make sure that even if they didn't want the network marketing product that I had to offer, that they left that event so feeling connected to each other. And like they got a ton of value. So it's just like anything that we do, if you add a bunch of value to people, whether they purchase the thing or not, they're gonna remember you as a valuable person. And that's how you're gonna start building these containers that more and more people come to and you'll be able to offer the thing that you want throughout that container.

You'd be surprised. I used to host little meetups at restaurants and you'd be surprised at the back rooms that restaurants will give you. Especially if you say, hey, what's your slowest night? I would love to bring some people to your back room. And I promise to spend X number of dollars on dinner cumulatively. And by the way, you don't have to buy that dinner. I used to. But you don't have to. You can say, hey, I provide the bottle of wine and everyone has to pay for their own food. You can do things like that to create the container you wish existed. Now here's the thing. You're going to do it the first time and it might suck. It might be a flop. Yeah, that's. And most of you are going to stop. Most of you are going to stop. But those of you who don't stop, those of you who do it a second time and a third time and a fourth time and a fifth time, until it pops and until it's busting at the seams, you're the ones that are going to have the Circle of influence that can write your ticket no matter where you want to go. You have to understand that consistency and adding value are the superpowers. When you build the container that you wish existed, stop waiting for someone else to build it. Stop showing up to somebody else's. Because there's something very special that happens when you're the centerpiece of that container. When people start showing up to the 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th event and they say, wait, who put this together? She did. He did. All of a sudden you are elevated on a platform and everybody wants to be a part of your sphere. They want to add value to you. That's the secret. This lake house that we're at right now, this is a great example of building a container that we wish existed. We wanted somewhere super beautiful, super chill to invite some of our closest friends up to and just have great conversations while playing in the boat and wake surfing and sitting around fires and all that. This is an extreme version of it that I want you to work your way up to. But nonetheless, we call this a mastermind house. This is a house where we invite really awesome, really cool people to jam with and have fun with and strengthen our relationships and. And already miracles and business opportunities and breakthroughs have come out of it. And we're not even a month into this place. So I'm telling you guys, number one, build a container you wish existed. Number two, there are plenty of containers that already exist. So number two is go to more events. There's events everywhere. Like Gloria. I'm looking at all the ones that we're speaking at coming up. You're speaking at Lindsay's Powerhouse Women in August. We're both speaking at Keisha's event in October. I'm speaking at Andrea Sager's event called Dream Bigger also in October.

Keisha's is empower her life.

Yep. I'm telling you guys, there are so many awesome self development and business events and everybody that you wish you could meet, they're going to these events. Like roll up your sleeves, find a way to buy that ticket. Drive all night if you have to, because it's a container that already exists of contained high energy for you to go and network and build these relationships.

You know, I'm thinking back to the woman who got us involved in our network marketing company, who, thank God, because that was our first intro into business and so many different things. She literally slept on the floor in a hotel room with a bunch of other women. And thank God she did that because she was the person who got us and I just think of all the people who sacrifice like that, who've ended up being successful because the stakes are higher. Like, for those of you who are like, God, I don't know if I can do it, those are typically the people who make it happen, who do that first layer of proving to yourself what is possible for you. So if you're in that place where you're like, God, I'm not sure if I can do that. If you make it happen, that's your first proof of what you're capable of doing. Because let me just tell you how hard it gets sometimes in business. And if you can't make these things happen and find a way, then I honestly don't believe that people have earned the right to be in business because it's going to get hard and you have to get scrappy.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. And by the way, there's local events, too. Some of you have more than others, but there's local events that you can start. They may not be ideal. It may not be the best people in the world that you want to network with, but it's a start. What if you find one person and what that one person is the one that you then partner with and get in the car and go to an event a few states over? Maybe that's what your evolution looks like, but you've got to go to more events. Listen, one year of powerful networking will change your life forever. One year of intentional networking. One year of burning the boats and saying, okay, I'm going to spend more than I've ever spent. I'm going to invest more time than I've ever invested. I'm going to do, you know, go make scarier introductions than I've ever made before. I'm going to go to more events than I've ever gone to in one year. One year of doing that will change your circle of influence forever. You will never want again for an introduction. You will never want again for someone to do you a favor. You will never want again for someone to keep you going or cheer you on. I'm telling you, everyone you're looking for, they're at events that are already put together for you. You just got to drag your tail there.

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And number three is stop dragging old people into your new life. Notice that I use the word dragging. Here's how you can tell when people from your past are meant to be in your new life or not. Because that's what you're building. You're building a new life of new possibilities, new records, new wealth, new happiness, new habits, new everything. The people who come willingly by following your example, you got to be grateful that they are lifelong friends that are coming along for the ride. But the people that you feel like you're dragging into your new life, the ones that may not be cheering on your goals, the ones that may be questioning your motives, the ones that may be questioning why you're spending so much time doing this and that that you didn't do before, those are the ones that, that you got to stop dragging into your new life. Those are the ones that are like anchors. You're trying to get the boat to move and you got all these anchors in the water still. Cut the anchors and let the people in the boat who come willingly. Because trust me, there's going to be plenty of people in your new life to fill the rest of the seats in your boat.

You know, now that I'm in a place and I want you to understand how this should feel because some of you don't know how it feels yet. Now that I'm in a place where my relationships are an equal energy exchange, it doesn't mean that I am not giving a lot of energy to these relationships in my life. It's that I am intentionally giving energy and asking for what they need. But when I do it, the energy and the things that I'm adding or giving are being used. They're being valued by that other person and they're also propelling me forward. So not only does it feel good to do it, because I know it's a relationship where they actually value what I'm giving them. It's not like I'm resuscitating someone who is not responding to what I'm doing, but they are also giving me equal value. And it doesn't have to be at the same exact time. It can be like, I know this person shows up for me. I know that they're going to be there for me. I know that when I need help in this arena, I'm going to ask for it. This is really key, you guys, because a lot of us can have these relationships in our life who are valuable and who do add value, but we're not actually asking either. And, you know, I have a really amazing friend in my life who's really showing up in a big way for me right now. Like, bigger than I can possibly tell you. But this wouldn't have even happened if I hadn't first put out an SOS and said, hey, I am really struggling in this area. I need some help. And this is when she stepped up. But if she didn't know, if I hadn't have really said what I needed and asked for help, then I wouldn't have had the help in that particular area. So really knowing, like, you also have a lot of responsibility in these relationships to not only say what you need, but also to ask them what they need and show up for them.

It's interesting. I actually realized that the person you're referencing right now, she came into your life using all three of these criteria that we just named. In other words, first, you met her at an event. Second, you built a container to continue and strengthen that relationship. We did not do this. And third. No, we did. This is crazy. I just realized this. And third, you had to make room for her in your new life to show up big and help you out by cutting ties with old individuals that were no longer serving your new goals. She literally transcended all three pieces of this advice. So, guys, I'm telling you, this works. Number one, build a container you wish existed. Number two, go to the events that are already done for you. Number three, stop dragging old people into your new life if it's indeed dragging them. One of the things that we're so passionate about is making this easier for everybody. Because getting together in person has changed everything for us. I'll be very frank. There's nobody that we wouldn't be able to get a hold of without one being in one introduction away. No one. There's no one. I don't think I can name anyone who are not one introduction away from now being able to be introduced to. But it's because we spent time face to face. It's because we spent time in person. Zoom doesn't cut it. It's a good way to maintain it, but it doesn't cut it. Always being a part of virtual things doesn't cut it. It's a good way to maintain it, but it doesn't create that strong ride or die connection. We're working on a special project to make it easier and more affordable for you to go to as many events that are already done for you. As many as you want. Literally. If you're like, I'm going to an event every single month. I want to go to Powerhouse. I want to go to Empower her. I want to go to, you know, you name it, Thrive. We're coming up with a way for you to be able to go to as many events as you want for totally free, meaning you don't have to pay event tickets and just one small membership if that excites you. If you want to hear more about that when we finally launch it, because we're only going to launch it in small phases, then go ahead and text us the word events. Text us the word events. E V E n t s to 310-421-0416. We're only going to test this with a small batch of people first. Go to as many events as you want for free for one small fee if you're interested. If you want the best year of networking of your life, then text us the word events to 310-421-0416. In the meantime, you guys got the keys to building your best circle of influence ever. I promise it'll change everything for you. Thanks for listening. Love and appreciate you.