Top Strategies To Create A Positive Relationship With Stress

When you realize that it's pressure, when you realize it's the stress and the anxiety because maybe you have a lot on the line or you have a lot of money on the line, this is when you start to realize how grateful we should be for pressure. Without it, we just don't perform. Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. It's time for another quickie because there's always time to fit in inspiration and as a reminder, I am technically texting you Monday through Friday. Affirmations, motivational quotes, sometimes journal prompts and questions. These are all the things that I am thinking about or talking about with my friends to expand, evolve all of these different topics in order to move forward. You guys, I would love to loop you in on that conversation. They're totally free. All you have to do is text the word daily to 310-496-83363. You guys, this community is growing a few hundred every single week. We now have thousands of people in this group. I am loving seeing all of your responses. I try to respond to at least five to ten of you a day and it's just so much fun to be able to see what's hitting and who's following and all of the things. I actually get to see who's listening to the podcast as well. Okay, so today I want to chat with you all about pressure. But before we do that, I want to read this Review from from Shell x31. I've been reading your reviews you guys. I am so grateful for all of you who take one minute to go on Apple and give me a five star review and comment. As a podcaster I will tell you doing this three times a week for free. Literally it means the world. When you guys go and take a second. If I've given you any value at all to just go rate and review. That's how podcasts get up on Apple charts and and truly in order for the podcast to keep going, we really need people to be sharing and listening and it means the world. So you guys if you would go over and do that. But first I wanna read this review. It says women owned business. Yes, yes, yes. I've been secretly listening for a long time. I never leave here without a chunk of truth or knowledge about my business. This is the business owner you want to follow. True to her word, always striving for the best and bringing out the best in others. There's mindset info, business topics and the fact that that it's women owned is amazing. My morning ritual is this podcast you Guys, so grateful. Shell, thank you so much for this review. And let's get into the quickie today. So we are talking all about pressure. So you can start to understand if people will be successful or not by the way that they view and frame pressure in their mind. So right now you might have a very negative thought around pressure and stress. And, and they say that in elite athletes, they can let you know how they're going to perform and how well they're going to do by what they perceive as their relationship with pressure. If they view it as a good thing, if they view it as extra energy coming in to help them with the game, if they view it as the thing that holds them accountable and pushes them forward to show up and do one more rep and do one more training day before the big game, then that's how you know that that athlete is going to be successful is because of how they view pressure. You guys, I'm reading a book right now and I've been mentioning it lately, so it's called sustain your game. It's by Ellen Stein Jr. He's coming on the podcast soon. I can't wait to have this conversation with him. And there is a chapter in here or a section about renaming stress and it's all about the language and the things that we say to ourselves and in our head around stress and pressure. So those who were able to reframe the threat in their mind as a challenge, it says they had 23% fewer stress related symptoms like headaches, backaches and fatigue. I know, you guys, I have experienced this. I have put so much pressure on myself and let stress get to me where it literally overwhelms me for months at a time. I remember when I was getting ready to speak at 10x, which was Grant Cardone's event there. I knew that there was going to be 10,000 people there. It was a very male dominated audience. And I'm only telling you that because I was used to speaking to pretty much only women at this point in my career. And so for me, I felt like I wasn't talking necessarily to my people. I had a lot of stress and pressure around. Will this message land for them? Do they even like this? Like, what do they want to hear? Are these my people? Should I be here? Am I good enough? All of these different things were coming in and I stressed myself out so, so bad that for a good month before I spoke on that stage, I swear to you, I was sick to my stomach every day. I had horrible anxiety at this point. I Did not have the healthiest relationship with pressure in certain situations. So in some situations that I was more familiar with, I did. But in newer situations, I really let the pressure and stress get to me. But now that I'm so aware of just the science and evidence behind how we view pressure and anxiety, it is helping me so much. Steph Curry says that worry, anxiety, and stress are all just signs that you actually care. He said, if you aren't nervous, then it doesn't matter to you enough. I loved this because it helped me just reframe that. I'm nervous because I care. I'm nervous because I want to do a good job. So in your mind, where is something where you can look at pressure in a positive way? I know that without pressure or a deadline on a goal, guess who's not doing it? Me. I'm not gonna show up. Why in the world would I sacrifice a weekend if I had no deadline? Why in the world would I sacrifice nights when I'm already tired from the work that I'm doing? Why in the world would I go through more pain if I didn't really view that put pressure on myself like a deadline or like giving myself accountability or like getting investors for my company? Like, what is the thing that's going to make you shift? Show up. And when you realize that it's pressure, when you realize it's the stress and the anxiety, because maybe you have a lot on the line or you have a lot of money on the line, this is when you start to realize how grateful we should be for pressure. Without it, we just don't perform. So whenever I feel it, I actually thank it. I'm like, thank you so much for showing up in this way, because this is what's making me move. Thank you so much for showing up, because this is making me get up earlier to go to the gym, because I know that I need to be the healthiest me in order to hold this pressure, this positive pressure in order to show up and perform. And like Billie Jean King says, the famous tennis player, she says, pressure is a privilege. So if you don't have pressure in your life, it is your job to create it, but also to remember to reframe it. So what is your language around that pressure? How can we start to describe it in a more positive way? So Stu Singer, who is a WNBA performance coach, says, stress is absolutely mandated for growth. So if we think about it in terms of stress on our muscles and stress on our bodies, there's no way to actually grow your muscles in your bodies, unless you put stress on it, unless you tear down the muscle fiber. And when you do this and you give rest afterward, which is also kind of a key thing in our life, then you build the muscle back up stronger. This is same for your capacity of holding stress. In your job, in your growth, in your relationships. You're gonna have to face more stress. Whether that's harder conversations, things that you're gonna have to be more real with, more clear with more transparent about. That's gonna make you feel a lot more stressed. But it's also going to up your capacity for you, for what you can hold, what you can do, what you can talk about, and what you can work through. So stress is such a positive thing that the more that you feel in, the healthier your relationship with is, meaning how you reframe it and know that it's good for you. The more you're going to get through it easier and the more that you're going to have to be able to hold. So it's not that life is going to get easier. In fact, the more that you grow, the more capacity you have. But you're going to be able to hold these things. You're going to be able to know and have faith in yourself and confidence in your skill set and your abilities. And that is only going to come from going through stress and pressure. So if we always look at it like, I'm always stressed out, I'm always under pressure, this is too much for me. Of course you're going to implode. Of course you're never going to want. You're going to want to move to an island away from all of it. But life relies on. On pressure. Your goals rely on stress and pressure so that you show up. So just like Stu Singer says, stress is absolutely mandated for growth. And if you want to show up and perform, so you guys start to lean into it, when it comes your way, just try to reframe and say, oh, my God, if it wasn't for the stress or pressure, I probably would never get any of this done. I'm so grateful. I'm gonna look at this and just say, okay, I see you. I know that you're pushing me forward. I know that you're moving me forward. There's enough time for everything. That's what I always say. There's enough time for everything. I can get through this. I've gotten through so much. Who do I need to help me? What do I need in place to feel safer? What do I need in order to get this done, who could I talk to get a better relationship with stress by knowing that you don't have to do it all yourself as well. You can absolutely ask other people. You can rely on other people. You can take a minute, you can comfort yourself. It's all about what you say to yourself and how you're comforting yourself. So, you guys, I hope that this helps. I know that this is massively helping me because I am under a lot of pressure right now, but all I can think about is that diamonds are made under pressure, and I feel myself turning into the woman that I came to this life to be. And that's what you have to know is if you want to become her, if you want to become that person, if you want to become them, you're going to need pressure, you're going to need stress, because it's going to force a bigger, smarter, stronger version of you to come out and rise to the occasion. You guys, I can't wait for you to surprise yourself, and I can't wait to hear if this helps. So I'm sending you so much love. And until next time, earn your happy.