Using Pleasure to Eliminate Burnout and Unlock New Levels of Success with Lindsey Schwartz and Dr. Jordin Wiggins

Women that can run multimillion dollar companies and they cannot receive, they cannot let it in and feel good. I'll do it all. I'll do it myself. I won't ask for any help. If I ask for help, it's a failure. We're sort of set up to fail.

Guilt, shame. Why don't I feel recharged? I need a vacation from my vacation.

When good things happen, that part of your brain, it's off.

You don't even know what you should do more of because none of it even feels good right now.

Sexual health and wellness. Wellness, especially for women.

How deep can we get into this?

I'll go balls deep if you, if we're good with that, if you'll let me know what we're doing.

We're go balls deep today. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the earn your happy podcast. I have two guests on the show today, one of them you know and love, one of my best friends, Lindsay Schwartz of Powerhouse Women. She also has her own podcast, Powerhouse Women Podcast. And also you've probably heard from Dr. Jordan Wiggins, who has also been on the podcast because she came on board when we first launched Glossy and we had an entire podcast together where she really went deep on teaching all about the reasoning behind the ingredients in Glossy. So if you haven't caught that episode, you can go and check out the other Dr. Jordan Wiggins podcast. And you guys, if you also want to check out Glossy, maybe you're feeling a little hydrated, maybe you're feeling bloated, maybe you're feeling like you want to get back on track with your wellness rituals, or maybe you just feel like you need some more nutrients in your life and you want that glowy, glowy summer skin. You can go to getglosy.com and you can get 25% off with code Happy, you guys. In this episode, I'm joined, like I said, by my two incredible friends. Lindsay, founder of the Powerhouse Women community and podcast, and Dr. Jordan Wiggins, who's a naturopathic doctor. And. And this is what today is all about. Pleasure and intimacy. Coach. Now, I don't typically go this way on my podcast, but I loved the approach that Dr. Jordan has about pleasure because it truly trickles into everything in our lives with how we're showing up around that particular word. So Dr. Jordan is an expert at holistic wellness for women, especially what we need as ambitious women to care for our bodies, our hormones and our mental health and our physical health. And like I said, we did a previous podcast together and we'll put the link in the show notes so you can go and check that out. But in this episode, we're talking about a totally different topic. Dr. Jordan dives deep into pleasure and how to reverse burnout. Through using it, Jordan explains the powerful connection between pleasure, fulfillment, and success. Not just in the bedroom at all, but in our careers. If you've ever reached a massive accomplishment only for it to not feel as exciting or fulfilling as you thought it would, this episode is for you. I felt like she was calling me out hardcore. We talk about how feeling, lack of pleasure and enjoyment in our lives often stems from an imbalance between work and rest. Like when you go on vacation, it's hard to even drop in and enjoy yourself because you're in constant go mode. Yes, it is me. When we talk about pleasure in this episode, we're really referring to enjoyment. So let's dive into the simple ways to slow down and enjoy life, including infusing more joy into daily tasks that you're already doing. And how having more fun not only creates more fulfillment in the moment, but also attracts more opportunities in business, too. And you guys know I'm all about that life. Let's get started.

Hey, everyone.

On today's podcast, it's actually being hosted by two people. It is being hosted by the earn you happy podcast, which is me, Lori Harder and Lindsey Schwartz.

I want to give myself like a rapper show.

Lindsey Schwartz.

Powerhouse women. Wa, wa, wa, wa.

Sorry.

So we take this seriously.

This is called bringing more pleasure into your life, which is our entire topic of this podcast because we are sitting with the beautiful, extraordinary, brilliant Dr. Jordan Wiggins.

Hi.

Hi.

And I have to start. Start with sharing kind of how I got to be in your presence right now, which is so exciting that you came into my world. I needed a. An incredible doctor, your naturopathic doctor, which was even better, which was very exciting for me to come in and partner with me on talking about Glo, which is my new product, a beauty hydration company, which is a skin routine that you can drink. So we have been talking on prior podcasts to this one, all about the different benefits of glossy and all the different ingredients that are in there, which there are many that has been so much fun talking about digestion, talking about bloating, talking about hydration, and getting back to kind of those simple routines to help unclutter your mind. So how is that, first of all, how is that experience chatting all about this?

Been loved every minute of it. I got to be a little nerdy. And yes, just so excited to meet you and be a part of Glocee and what you're creating. And what I love about it is it's not just a product. You were just so intentional about it to help with digestion and bloating and just helping women feel lighter, which is what I keep hearing so many of us want.

And it's the same. It's the same in. In what you do is just. I think the whole goal is to walk through life feeling lighter. Like, to not feel so bogged down, to feel more like you can be yourself. And I feel like all the work that we all do is, like, so true. How can we go through life just not, like, feeling more us and not feeling so weighed down by all the stories, by the food that we're eating, by the relationships that we're in. That all feels so heavy.

So.

So it's so cool that I think glossy. And then all the work that we do is. Is super intentionally to make you feel lighter and also glow. Like, I think that when you just get back to who you are meant to be, people are so attracted to you because you. You are, like, glowing from the inside out. So you got to be nerdy now. Today we get to be dirty.

Oh, nerdy.

Say it again. I basically just invited myself to this conversation because I was like, wait, you're going to talk a little bit about something that I think is so tied to our bigger purpose and us realizing our dreams, which is connecting with pleasure. And I'm so excited to have this conversation. So thanks for letting me pull up a chair and. And get to be a part of it, because it's so, so important. And this is actually a rabbit hole I've been going down in my own.

Life, which I'm really. I'm actually even more excited to have you in this conversation because I know that this is, like, what you are super exploring right now, just which that.

In itself sounds d. What? I'm actually.

We're gonna have a lot of innuendo and double meanings on this.

Send this to your inappropriate friend. But I am so excited to have the conversation and open it up, because I do think that this is a conversation that can change so much for the women listening, and I'm happy to be the one to open up the conversation.

You're opening it up.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, there we go. And what was even more hilarious is when we asked how. How deep can we get into this? And what was your reply?

I'll go balls deep if you. If we're good with that, if you'll let me do.

We're going to go balls deep today. Well, we'll see. We'll see what we end up doing. But why don't we. I'm like, why don't we start there? What does that even mean? Lizzie, you think of a question.

I'm pretty uncomfortable. Well, I haven't had a chance to really hear your backstory. So for anyone who's listening to this on powerhousewomen, they haven't gotten to hear your interviews on the earn your happy podcast. Tell. Tell us a little bit about. How did you go from naturopathic doctor to sitting in this chair to pleasure doctor?

Yeah.

Balls deep. Staying balls deep. Because I actually think this is going to set us up for a really, really great conversation.

Yes. So I was noticing it was my dream, due to my own health struggles, hormone mental health struggles, to own and operate a women's health clinic. That was my. We were talking about this at lunch. That was like my North Star. And I. I did that. And it was amazing. It was a space where women could come and feel heard and get answers to their problems, that they'd seen several specialists before, and they just wanted to feel amazing and they weren't getting answers elsewhere. So I did that. And then I started to hear reflected back from my patients. They're feeling better, they're sleeping better, their hair is growing, their weights coming off again, their energy's back. But they just kept saying, I don't feel like myself. I'm not as happy as I should be. And a lot of times they'd have so much to feel grateful for. Success in career, great partners, you know, so much good. They take the vacations, they have the house, and then they're still not happy. And it was also reflected in me because that was my dream. Own and operate this clinic in my hometown and a space where women can come to heal and feel better and have answers. And then I did it, and I was like, oh, is this it? There was this sort of emptiness. And if I really looked at my health, I was, you know, I was operating a big business. I hadn't really been trained on how to do that. I had coaches, I had employees, associate doctors. Like, it was a big business to manage on top of a full patient load. And I wasn't really sleeping, having wine at night to calm down, way too much coffee during the day. I had acne at that point in my early 30s. And it was just like, okay, wait a minute, something is wrong here. And yes, I was going to the gym and I was eating fairly healthy, but I was just so stressed and overwhelmed. And yes, I was like checking. I checked the box as I was doing the things that I set out to do, achieving the goals that I set out for myself. But something was missing and I didn't have words for what that was. And that was the same thing that all my patients were reflecting. So what I learned is that medically that's called anhedonia and that means the inability to feel pleasure or not feel as happy as you used to feel. And it's a diagnostic criteria for major depressive disorder. And all. Like just so many women, they're like, I'm not really sure I'm depressed, but I told my doctor I don't feel like myself. And they gave me an antidepressant. But like, should I take this? It was just sort of, you know, like more lost with the holidays and.

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Yeah. We're like, is this right? Should we do this? I was offered an antidepressant at several points throughout my health journey and which is awesome. If you take antidepressants and they help you feel better, that's amazing. But this was something that was almost even harder to quantify. And it was lacking pleasure. Yes. Lacking pleasure and joy.

Yeah. Which I can, I can put myself in those shoes. And just even like knowing how hard I work to get to certain milestones. It's almost. Then there's guilt to even admit that because the life that we're living might be the life we once prayed for. We have these goals or these things in our life that we once prayed for. So how much is that also an element that we aren't even talking about it? Because there's the guilt factor. The shame. Yes.

It's huge. I have clients that have had the biggest like, award or accolade of their career. Something that they'd. They've worked 10 years for, 20 years for, and they, they're like, I, I'm not happy. I can't. Like, okay, so now what? Like this pinnacle that they worked so hard for and then they don't feel good. And then you don't even want to tell your family or your friends or the people around you that have supported you. That. Yeah, that inside you're. You're empty. It's not landing. You're not receiving it. The joy isn't there anymore.

Yeah.

And I think it's a multifactorial problem. One is that when we are working so hard and we're achieving, we're doing the parts of our brain that we're using, our nervous system, our cortisols, like, we're inflamed a lot of the time, so our bodies are in that fight or flight state, and we need to be able to do that to survive and achieve, but we also need to be able to rest and be. And there's this massive imbalance that I see. And especially, like, the more successful the person, a lot of times, the more the pleasure centers in their brain are turned off, and that's. They've done MRIs on people's brains. And that was kind of when it sunk into me. It was, oh, my goodness, I'm in fight or flight. I'm in my CEO. I'm achieving. I'm, you know, reading research articles and solving these complex cases for my patients. Like, I'm doing, doing, doing. And the pleasure centers in my brain are off, so I can't receive any of the good. I don't feel good even. You know, you're just. You're focused on the next thing on the to do list, the next goal. So then when good things happen, that part of your brain that you sh. That should be on, that you should be receiving, you should be feeling good, it's off. So these things are happening, and you feel numb.

I never thought about this as a physiological thing. I always thought about it from the mindset component.

Well, I did a lot of blame and shame of myself. Like, okay, I've had everything I said I wanted, and I'm not happy, so I must be screwed up. What's wrong with my mindset? What coach do I need? What therapy do I need? What. But the actions that we need to take are towards pleasure and making pleasure a practice and a part of our lives so that those centers in our brain are turned on. So if you're on stage winning an award or achieving that next thing that you wanted to achieve, you're actually. You're happy and you're present, and it translates into personal lives as well. Like, we work so hard, and then we'll go on a vacation. But my clients will talk about it like, I just had the most amazing vacation. We had a chef, we had all the things, and I wasn't present. I wasn't, like, I wasn't as happy as I should be in that moment. Or it takes them the whole trip to, like, relax, basically. Yes. And sometimes it's two weeks or before they're even in the zone, and then they have to go home and then deal with all the things from being away.

Yes. And then guilt, shame. Why don't I feel recharged? I need a vacation from my vacation.

Yes. Okay.

This is radical. And I know we were. We were going down a rabbit hole of your content, and you mentioned a really powerful word, which is receiving. How much does the balance between giving and receiving show. Show up in this. The root of this issue for women?

I think for women specifically, I think it's huge. I think that's why women are two times more likely to be on an antidepressant than men. That's why one in two women globally suffers from sexual dysfunction. And these are like, sex is. Is pleasure. It's feeling good. It should feel good. Unless you want it to be painful, and that's your thing. But sex should feel good. That's. That's pleasure. That's like the ultimate receiving. And I have women that just, like, they're trying to get it over with. They're in their heads. They're thinking about their to do list. They're thinking about emails they have to send. Like, they're not actually present in the moment to receive pleasure. And when the pleasure centers in your brain are off, touch doesn't even feel as good. My clients will. So they'll say like, my vagina's numb. Or they'll have orgasms, but they're. They're short. Or they start interacting with my content, and then they're like, wait a minute. So I could have, like, an orgasm that lasts, like, minutes or as long as I wanted to, and they're just like, I didn't know that was a thing.

No one tells us that. No, by the way. Until now. Yeah, but really, I'm almost 40 and just now learning a lot of these things that you're talking about, because these aren't conversations that are normally introduced and.

Oh, and it's censored, like, completely on my content. Censored all the time. People find me and they're like, why don't you have, like 200,000 followers? Well, because no one.

She's going to come in here for the good stuff. You got to go follow her. And get in her inner circle.

Circle.

That's how that's going to be.

Yeah, it's. It's a taboo conversation. It makes some people uncomfortable. And I think even some of it is when things are going really well or they look like they're going really well online. People don't often want to raise their hand and be like, but actually, right this area, it. And it's the shame again, we like to blame ourselves. But yes, women have. We're conditioned to over give and over function and be like, okay, I'm talking right now. Like, is this, is this good for them? Do they, like what? Like, is this, you know, gonna make them happy? And always thinking about the other person, taking the temperature of the room. How does everyone else feel? Like, don't take up too much space. And we're just, it's give, give, give. And that over time that puts us in that state, that sympathetic, burnt out state where our pleasure centers are turned off. And then we get called, we call it crusty in the pleasure collective. But like, you know, bitchy, nagging, like all these things.

I like crusty better.

Yeah, we reclaimed crusty, like as a, you know, nice way of saying those other things that were. We're not ourselves, we're not showing up how we would want to. We're a little snappier. But when we give, give, give and we don't know how to receive it, there's just that natural imbalance that happens. Our tank's empty and we're trying to give from an empty tank and it just doesn't work long term without being crusty. And it's interesting because then I'll see two things happen. It's either that the woman, I call her a superwoman. It's kind of like my archetype that I chat about all the time because it's. I'll do it all, I'll do it myself. I won't ask for any help. If I ask for help, it's a failure. I'm, you know, weak. I couldn't do it all. Like, we're sort of set up to fail and be burnt out and not know how to actually receive the help or. And it. And it's funny because, like what happens in the bedroom and sex seems to mirror that in life. So she's not even feeling as good as she could in life or in sex.

And we don't make the correlation.

No, no one ever does.

Like not being able to receive help or I started noticing just how hard it even was for me to receive Like a compliment.

Exactly.

I would always deflect it. I would always say, if someone would compliment my outfit, I'd be like, but there's a hole right here. Like, these are holy jeans. Oh, the Midwest. I got it on sale.

On sale.

But what it really was is it was a deflection. It was an inability to receive.

Yes. To let it in and let it feel good. And it fascinates me. Women that can run multimillion dollar companies perform surgeries that nobody can do in the world, win a Grammy. And they cannot receive. They cannot let it in and feel good. Yeah.

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When the pleasure centers in your brain are off, everything's off. It doesn't feel good. Our capacity to receive like from the hormonal nervous system just from our like, physiology. Like physiology. It's, it's not going to feel as good as when the pleasure centers in our brain are on. So then I went on this journey of okay, well how do I do it? And then how do I teach other women how to do it? Because this is affecting how they show up in their relationships with their children, friendships, if they even have any. Because it's even hard to like connect two people when you have your superwoman cape on or the walls are up. So practicing pleasure, making that a part of our day. And then this is pleasure in and out of the bedroom. Because people sometimes even the word pleasure makes them a little squirmy or uncomfortable.

And isn't that interesting too because it's. When I'm hearing you talk about it, you're talking about enjoying your life. All facets of it, all facets of your life as a woman. And that the fact that that word has been turned in this way and turned into taboo, I mean that just goes to show you how deep like the societal conditioning is to disconnect us from something that really is like a Birthright to experience pleasure in all forms.

Pleasure is a birthright. And feeling good, you think should be like, that's just our natural state of being. If we look at kids or animals, like, they want to do things that are fun and feel good, and they want to not, like, do things that hurt. They want to go towards pleasure, stay away from pain. But we get conditioned that it has to be hard, it has to be a struggle. If we're not. If it's easy, it's bad somehow.

And my dogs hump everything publicly.

They have zero shame, no shame.

They're like, we're getting some pleasure right over here right now. In front of 40 people.

Exactly, yeah. And I mean, I'm not suggesting that we go and hump things as a pleasure practice in public.

Although in la, I have heard some things.

So it's gonna be such a great trailer. But the truth is. Thank you.

Thank you for always bringing it back.

That experiencing pleasure and learning to receive on all levels is directly tied to success. Can you talk about that? Because for those that listening that are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, just get to the part where you tell me how to grow my business.

You're not gonna.

You're not gonna like this very much.

Because there is a direct correlation between, like, we call it the return on sex. The return on pleasure.

Say more, please.

Yes. Which is the better that you are feeling. The more those pleasure centers are turned on, the more success in business you have. And I never even. I thought that I was setting out to fix a libido and an anhedonic, like, low mood, low sex drive. Just like women not feeling, like, alive and energetic and like themselves. That's what I thought I was fixing. But then as I was. Was working with women in the early days and developing the curriculum and learning all these things, then they were getting promoted, then they were having these opportunities, then they were closing bigger deals than they ever had. They were, you know, healing relationships that, like some marriages that were kind of on the rocks, but then they were able to really reconnect. So, like, just. And if we think about it, like, if you think back to a time in your life when you were having really, really good sex, how did it feel? Everything felt easy and light and you had energy and things just sort of flowed and seemed to happen for you almost. You feel like on top of the world. People will say a lot of the time, also, if you haven't had sex like that, call me. Cause would you need to learn more. Okay. Not also call me first. Like, call to learn Call to learn.

For a good time. Don't call.

I was just imagining like a 1-800-number flashing.

We're gonna give you a different number. We're gonna give you a different number for that, which is not mine.

But I think having these conversations so that people can. Even women can. Can break out of this feeling like, oh, that's just how it is. There's not more available for me. This is how I was told pleasure looked in my life. This is how I saw other women in my life talk about it. Unless we start having these conversations that there is another option in whatever way you want to experience pleasure, whether that's making a ton of money in your business or in other ways, it's important to first start by no, there are people having really great sex and making a lot of money in their business. And it feels easy and fun and flowy because it's coming from a totally different energy state completely.

And I love that you brought that up because it's like, we don't think it's possible, and we're taught that it's not possible. And we're taught to ignore. Excuse it. Like, oh, well, I have kids now, or, oh, I'm in my 40s, like, going to be perimenopausal soon. So, like, we just. There's just excuse, excuse, excuse for women to not fully be in their pleasure. And we even have the conditioning that if you see a woman that is. And she is radiating and she like, draws people in and she feels like, you can tell she kind of owns her, like, sexual power, like, all of her. Right. Not just the pieces that she feels are safe to share. Like, she's truly an embodied woman. Like, society has a lot of negative things to say about her too, and her sexuality. So we kind of. We get it from many angles that keep. Keeps this part of us repressed. But sexual health and wellness, like, is wellness. I think it's our. The foundation of wellness, or it should be, especially for women.

Yeah. Okay, so if someone is listening to this, realizing that certain parts are numb or. But truly, like, this is waking them up to the fact that, okay, I haven't experienced anything close to this level of pleasure in my life or this level of. Of ease in my business, what are some of the tangible places to start? Because what I know from being someone whose nervous system was very trained to be on all the time, I'm actually just getting to the point where I'm learning how to slow down, which is a whole journey in itself.

Like, it's a Learning.

I think being such a high achiever, I want to receive the checklist that tells me how to slow down, how to surrender more, how to receive more. And then I get to check it off, which is just. So this is the opposite of what you're saying. So.

Yeah. And this work deepens and I just get rooms full of women like you. We talk about, we're like, okay, this is not a check. They're like, tell me what to do. Like, give me my next check.

One day they show up with their notepad and you're like, oh, honey, yeah, we're going in. We throw it in a fire.

We've got to do that next retreat. Burn your fire. Yes.

You tell them to come prepared, day one with a notebook and pen and then you toss the notebook in the fire. I like that.

I really like this. Fire's always good at retreats.

Yeah. So. And I think I'm constantly bringing women. It's back to this internal knowing and back to our. The feminine power that has always been there. But we've been conditioned away from it. Like, oh, it's too woo. Or we were talking about meditating to fill a retreat. Like a masculine thing would be, okay, well, I'm gonna make this many calls and I'm gonna do that. Like, right. But it, yeah, it's just a totally different way of thinking and being. And I talk about like micro dosing pleasure and things at the beginning because literally even if I give people all the tools and teachings at the beginning, they can't. Yeah. Receive it. Like our nervous systems are not in the state to receive it. They can't. So we almost need to start like micro dosing our pleasure in simple ways. So if your vagina is numb, we'll talk about this. Survive.

Wasted genes.

But yeah, yeah. Also that we can't breathe properly and we have pelvic floor dysfunction and maybe pain.

Dent or denim.

Yeah, yeah, that rides up and it's painful. True. So I'm obviously a big proponent of some type of pleasure practice daily that includes self pleasure things as well as out of the bedroom things. And a lot of times I'm starting with the out of the bedroom things because those seem to be a little easier to receive or implement. So softening anything works so, so well to increase sensation and slowing down. And we talked about this earlier, but I'll, I'll say it about sex. If you're numb, the best thing that you could do is slow down and visually soften any area. Like anything that's being touched. Like, try and soften that. Or like visualize softening your vagina, your whole body. Yeah, yeah. It will increase pleasurable sensation if you do it. Because when we're stressed and we're tense, like, and if you're touching tense muscle, it doesn't have as much sensation. Our blood flow when we're stressed is to our lungs and our heart and other organs. Like, it's not. Not about feeling to be.

It's all in our brains.

Yeah, it needs to be. Most of us have sex in that state. And we talked about earlier kissing. Like if you're numb when you're kissing your lips. Like, so we need to soften both of our lips, all of them. And yeah, slowing down. Like, we just live life as. At such a pace that we do nothing slow. Everything is fast and immediate. And that's like the opposite of pleasure. So going 10 times slower than you think you should would increase sensation and softening. And we can talk about that even in our daily routine. If you are moisturizing your face, like, like, do it slowly. Enjoy the feel of the product on your. On your skin. Like, really actually try and feel what you're doing. Get in your body. And then we're. If we add those things throughout our day, I call them pleasure anchors. We're going to be dropping into that state where we're more and more able to receive. And it's so funny. Like, well, I'll even do an exercise of feeling good. Like, think of a time recently where something amazing happened or like a really big success or something that made you happy. It even could be looking at your dogs like, you know, relatable brings you. Brings you pleasure and joy. And like, locate that feeling in your body and then try and expand it and hold it. And how quickly a superwoman will eject and go somewhere else. Oh, yeah, like out of the pleasurable sensation. And especially if she's had sexual trauma. And just like we're taught that feeling good is bad. And we do that inside, like in the bedroom and out of the bedroom.

Talking about more of like the out of the bedroom. Easy, very tangible places to go with this. When I heard you earlier talking about slowing down, one of the things that as I was on this journey of just realizing that, I just always felt like my nervous system was on. I wasn't even connecting it to the feeling of pleasure just in my life in general, But I realized how I am always. Actually, this is previous because this isn't true today. In a hurry. If I'm walking my dad, I'm In a hurry. If I'm at the gym, I'm thinking about the thing I have to get back to. I was never just really present. So I. I created this, like, simple practice of leaving buffers in my calendar. And it felt so painful to put them in at first because I was like. But I could be making a phone call in those 15 minutes. And whether it's just that I need that time to breathe or I need that time to leisurely make my way to my next appointment, not be like, I think I'm, like, secretly an adrenaline junkie.

Oh, totally. And we'll get our, like, our dopamine hits from that. But, like, they're quick and they're gone. It's not that, like, nourishing. And it's different, right, because it's going slower, but, like, you slow down to speed up instead of, like, going, doing, hurrying, rushing, where that sensation is there and then it leaves. Like, when the sex and the intimacy and the pleasure that we talk about that I teach clients to have, it's nourishing. It's like, you talk about it for days after because it was that good. It fills you up. It's not like you're eating candy. You know what I mean? It's not nourishing, like, to do those from the hurried from have the, like, checkbox sex. That's just the same things that you. Maybe you do it as a routine. Maybe you know what to do to get your partner off. So you're just, like, doing that, but you're not. It's. That's like eating candy. It's, like, good at the time, but, like, it's not nourishing. It's not filling you up. And then when we're really learning to slow down and receive and be present and feel pleasure and, like, connect. Because it's kind of safe, right, to feel hurried all the time or checking things off the, like, the list.

You don't have to be in an emotion long.

You're like, I don't want to sit there long.

Well, that's what I realized is I was telling you before we recorded that I'm in this season of really disconnecting the feeling of. Of stillness with laziness. Realizing that being still having those pauses during my day, just having more slowness. Slowness. Is that a word? Isn't. Isn't the same thing as being lazy. But what I also realized is in my hurried, always needing to try and be as productive as I can, I also didn't have to feel things emotionally that maybe was Just like a simple emotion that I kind of needed to process through that day so I didn't take it into the next next day. And it's been this really beautiful journey that I feel like I'm just starting out on to understand how much beauty can be in those softer moments, those slower moments, the stillness.

Oh, yeah, we don't want to feel. And that I wish. And I explain it. Like the pleasure and pain dial, it's the same dial. We want it. People come to me just wanting to turn up the pleasure dial and feel. Feel more pleasure and be able to receive that and like, just enjoy the good in their lives. But it also means feeling more pain too. Like, the work is really being present with high sensation. Yeah, that's the point. And it would be nice if we could just be more present with the good ones. But when we're opening to feel, it's opening to feel all of it. But then the depth at which you can experience life and enjoy it and connect to other people and to your authentic self, like, that's so beautiful. I feel like it's the point. Yeah.

So what do you say to someone who doesn't buy yet the fact that results can not only happen in more of the softness, stillness, but better results can happen. Or the person who's like, wait, are you telling me I just need to, like, be flowy all the time? I can never be in my. Because I won't say that I'm fighting you on this. A previous version of me might have. But I also feel like I love my ambitious side. I love my get shit done side. I know it doesn't have to be either or. But what would you say to the person who's having a hard time if they've even listened this far? Yeah, I might have turned this off.

I was just gonna say I'm. I'm even like, I'm in this place right now where I'm busier and I can't unbusy. So I'm trying to take it from a space of that same question. But how can the busy person go slow despite a busier schedule right now?

I get this all the time, so I love it. And it would have been me too, because that was the first 30 years of my life and how maybe even 30 plus if I'm honest and how I lived it. And it's a both and situation. It's our yin and yang. We need both. So I am never asking women to put down the superwoman cape like that that's there. It's Just we want to learn how to hang it up from time to.

Time and then send it away to the cleaners.

And then when you want it back, like, we know how to do this. This part of us will not go away. And I think just, you know, our conditioning of how we need to fit into a box and we need to be this or this. We can't be both. That's what that comes in. And I also think it's an excuse that we use to not do the work because we are scared and think that I am gonna be like a witch boiling things over cauldron or a fire. Or we are running in fields of daisies and flowy dresses. And that's like, not at all what I mean. It's about finding pleasure, adding pleasure in whatever capacity that. So that we can receive it. So that when you're. You are in a busy season and you have less time, because I'll go in and out of this work with what if I'm in a really high stress time, the pleasure centers in my brain are off. I know this. I'm not as motivated to do things that feel good. I'm more motivated to cross off the to do list. But it. It's giving yourself grace in those seasons and knowing how to drop in. But that's why I like those things. Like intentionally make your tea, intentionally shower. And like, notice how things smell. Notice how the water feels on your skin. Intentionally move your body in whatever way feels good. But we're. We're not doing it to check it off. We're doing it for how it feels. Because. And that's another thing. Like, how many. I don't know how many patients, clients I've had in the past that they do. I'll pick on running, but like, they run, but they hate it. And they're, oh, I need to get my miles in or whatever. And it's like, but you hate it. Why are you doing it? Well, you know, my weight and it's good for my cardiovascular health and it helps with my, you know, stress or whatever. But like, they hate it. And it's like, okay, let's do an activity where you still get to move and you still get the health benefits that you still get to. But like. But you love it. Like, why is that not a thing?

Yeah, that is a crazy thing.

Okay, this is so good. I know you have a book that's all about this. I know you have an amazing online presence where you share a lot of these tips. So. So is there anything else we want to Ask before we have Jordan. Just share where everybody can now. Cyber stalker.

I, I think first of all, you gave such great tips that I could, that I am even going to be using in my life for right now. And then I think just once we get that, that's when we're like, what else do you have to offer? So I know that you have awesome retreats. You have a retreat that you're constantly able to put people in, which is exciting. So if you could tell us about that too.

Yeah. So I have a 12 month program for high achieving women that want to like really implement this stuff and like me that need to be held accountable to doing so. So it's small, it's intimate. We do in person retreats and we talk about all the things better, sex, receiving, presence, connection, like how to do it all without having to give up our power, without having to give up what we've built. So that's, I love it. That's like my favorite thing on the planet is, is doing those, those retreats and hosting those workshops and everything to see the light bulbs go off and, and even the skeptics, right Then when they're like, okay, like, I get it, my business is doing so much. Yeah, my business is doing better. You know, were right.

That's amazing. So tell us about the book too, and then where people can connect with you.

My book is called the Pink Canary. It's the hidden secret to optimal wellness for women. So obviously we know it's pleasure. Surprise, surprise. And my podcast, the Pleasure Principles podcast, would be another great place to start just for more on this, more tips, more ways to implement. And I'm on Instagram @ Dr. Jordan Wiggins, so send me a DM if you have any.

Questions. Well, this is one of those podcasts for me that, like you said, I'm walking away with really simple, very implementable strategies to start to feel different in my business, in my life. And I mean it really can be that simple to start with those daily habits of bringing more presence into the little things that we're doing. And I know, I mean, like I said, I've already been on this journey, but I know that on the other side of it is just this, this whole other way of operating that is going to make an even bigger impact. So thank you for doing the work that you're doing so that we can all serve the people we want to serve in a bigger.

Way. Thank you so much for having me. And I dare you to try it. Skeptics like, do it, do it. Do a pleasure. Practice for three weeks now they're gonna do it. It. Do it for three weeks and then message me and tell me how it's not better, how everything is not better.

Yes. Well, we are so grateful for you. Like, this was. This was such a good conversation. I literally, actually was over here, just complete. I was practicing softening the whole time, which also made me not really open my mouth. So truly, I was like, this is such a good.

Conversation. But how good do your lips.

Feel? I feel amazing at actually right.

Now. She loosened her.

Lips. We'll just leave that right there. Okay, and on that note, make sure you go and check out everything from Dr. Jordan Wiggins. And obviously, go follow powerhouse women and earn your happy. We love all the things. Whenever you share them. It's how podcasts get out and gloy. Go drink your gloy. Seriously, it's. It's very important if you want to glow, stay.

Hydrated. Stay.

Hydrated. All right, you guys, until next time, earn your.