We’re Breaking Down What Makes People Successful

If you guys are afraid that you're not going to be successful, if you're afraid that you don't have what it takes, please know this. You don't have to have the whole package. You have to be really damn good at a couple of things. The things that you might even discount because they're already in your comfort zone. You don't realize how important they are because they come naturally to you. You have to be really good at those things, understand what they are, lean into them, and mitigate the rest by having somebody else do the parts that you're not good at.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

Okay, so check this out. I was talking to the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine, like the entire Entrepreneur brand, Entrepreneur Online, Entrepreneur Magazine, the entire publication.

Is this for your podcast?

This is for my podcast. There's an episode coming out this week, actually. Oh, same week. So that episode, he and I just, like, we went down the rabbit hole on change and upcoming changes and what makes people successful when it comes to change. And why is it some people battle through and some people don't? Anyhow, go listen to the episode and you can learn all about how to not be afraid of change. But what it made me want to do was talk about why you and I think that we've had a lot of success so that those listening can start to recognize traits in themselves that can make them successful as well. Because here's the thing. He and I were talking a lot offline, and when I was asking him about, I mean, he knows everyone. He knows the Rock, he knows Oprah. He knows everybody because of his position at the magazine. And when I asked him, you know, hey, what makes people successful? And by the way, this wasn't on the episode. It was just in small talk. What do you see that makes all these people mega successful? He said, there's not one common trait. He said, sure, I could say simple things like perseverance and whatnot, but he said, there's not one trait. The Rock has different traits that make him successful than what Oprah does. Oprah has different traits than what Elon does. Elon has different traits than what Jeff Bezos does that make them successful. And he then went on to say, he's like this. One of the questions that I actually don't enjoy answering is, and it's the question he gets asked the most is, hey, you know, what's the common thread that makes everyone successful? He said, because each of these people are so different, so different. And the Key is when people learn what they're good at and play to their strengths and lean into that and then mitigate what they're not good at. That's when they succeed. Heck, I just did this. So I just hung up Lori with my app team for the peer to peer lending app that we're building. And we got into this big marketing plan discussion. Who's going to do what at the same time as the app is being built? And the punchline was Matt, my business partner. He's the internal CEO. I am the external CEO, the guy that's going to be the public face and make it popular. And what it came down to was we just have to lean into our strengths so we can do both at the same time. In other words, we have 10 months of Runway ahead of us before we're really launched. Launched, yeah. We don't want to waste that time not hyping up the app and gathering lots of eyeballs. But it also is going to be very time intensive building this thing out with details every day.

Right.

So we're dividing and conquer. I said, matt, I'm horrible at details. I hate them. I'll freeze. He's like, that's what I'm good at. Let me do this piece. And he said, vice versa. I don't like being the public face necessarily. I said, I can spend this 10 months making this thing popular. And I started listing all these ideas. He's like, good, so I'm going to free you up to do that. So I use that example in my discussion with Jason Pfeiffer, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine, to say, if you guys are afraid that you're not going to be successful, if you're afraid that you don't have what it takes, please know this. You don't have to have the whole package. You have to be really damn good at a couple of things. The things that you might even discount because they're already in your comfort zone. You don't realize how important they are because they come naturally to you. You have to be really good at those things, understand what they are, lean into them, and mitigate the rest by having somebody else do the parts that you're not good at. So I thought it'd be kind of fun, you know, to set that up. I wanted to tell you what I think, what traits I think have made you successful. And then I would love to hear what you think made me successful.

Oh, yeah, I can already think of them.

And I wanted to do this so that people, like, almost like a Memory jogger so that you, the listener can realize one, you don't have to have it all. And two, as you hear some of these things you might say, oh wait, I am good at that. Or wait, I do have this strength. So you can lean into it and move ahead full speed, no excuses.

I love this. You're gonna start with me?

Actually, I want you to go first.

Oh yeah, this is great.

What traits do you think have made me successful?

Okay, there's a few, but the first one that came up for me was your ability and practice. I don't wanna say that this is something that you just have always been good at because I've actually watched you get better at it and watched you work on it. Ability to compartmentalize your emotions and to work through a problem to find a solution without letting your emotions consume you. So like taking a moment if something really bad happens or we get bad news, it's kind of like yes, we have flare ups. But I think you're really good with just like giving yourself that like separating the emotion to really look at the problem. Like you're very solution based. You just want to get to the solution and you don't get stuck there, you don't get emotionally stuck there. Another one is your crazy ability to delegate and call out where you're not good. You said it perfectly. And this is so me as well. And what I believe has made me successful, this is what we share in common, is if we know we suck at it, if we know we're like going to freeze and we're never going to get good at it, we won't even claim it. I'm like, guys, you're going to be so disappointed in me if you want me to do this. And that's what you do so good is that you're like, you call it out, it could be in front of you 10 people you're trying to impress. And if it means that you're gonna get a job that you know is gonna make you freeze up, you'll admit that that is not a strength. You admit your weaknesses immediately and you proudly share what you're amazing at to the point where you get people so hyped up that you can, you can get people bought in because you believe in the things that you do well. And I believe that you can get people bought in so quickly because you also are so vulnerable with your weak. People are like, well if someone is so willing to share their weaknesses, I believe in this person for their strengths as well. So I think those are Some of the main ones is also your ability to. Your choice to choose energy. When you greet every single client, every single person, we can go from having a shitty day or a fight and, like, you'll get on the phone with someone and choose to make sure that they know that they're the most important person that you're talking to that day. Or at least I know that that's what you're leaning into, and I see you do it as often as possible.

Oh, I love those. Thank you. And you're right. I recognize all of those things in myself and lean into those things to get the job done. And the one I want to touch on quick, before I let you know what I think many of yours are, is the one where I unapologetically don't try and do what I'm not good at. Instead, I'm going to put it right out there and find somebody who's good at it. And when you do that, you guys, by the way, you're adding value to people's lives. You might think you're being a burden by saying, oh, I can't do this. I need someone else to. No, you're adding value to the people who are good at it. You're allowing them to shine. You're allowing them to use the tools they were given. That's harmonious. That's the way it's supposed to work. So stop trying to think you can do it all. Stop saying you can do it all. Stop trying to do things you're not good at. Fall on the sword on those things and go look for the. The people that can. And then be unapologetic, though, about saying, hey, these three things I'm good at. I'll be over here doing these at nauseam. And I think that's a really good way to operate. Okay. You have many of them. The first one is this. You're gritty and you are not afraid to take messy action. You. It's so interesting. You'll tell me a concept or an idea, and I'll think it's in passing, and then all of a sudden, you've already done it or you're already working on it. Whether it's working on it with Nikki, the podcast producer, whether it's working on it with Lauren, your chief of staff, whether it's working on it with your business partners, collaborators with your business coming up. I don't want to add too much color around that yet, but you're already taking the messy action. You've never been one to wait till the plan is perfect. You've never been one to wait till the situation is perfect and it's in all of that messy action. Sure, lots of wrong moves. Sure, lots of wrong decisions. Sure, lots of dead ends, like oop, can't go that way. Right. Picture of being in a maze like those corn mazes, lots of dead ends. But you just keep moving and then you'll be the first one to finish the maze. And this is a real talent in business. You're the first one to finish the maze because you started while everyone else was preparing to start and you just kept bumping up against dead ends. But you didn't stop moving. People freeze and they stopped moving. So they wait too long to start. And when they bump up again against a dead end, they freeze and they stop moving. And you do neither of those things. So that's why you always finish the maze. That's my metaphor first.

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Another talent you have. You have done such a great job of assembling an incredible network of people that want to help you because you have always proactively added value to their lives. Whether it's having them on your show, whether it's lifting them up and saying, hey, you don't know about this undiscovered star over here yet. You should have her on your show, you should have her at your event, you should have her on your stage. You have so consistently lifted other people up that two types of people have noticed it and want to now lift you up. The first type of are the people you lifted up. Of course they noticed it, they felt it, they're grateful for it, and of course they want to help you. The second group of people that noticed it are the people outside looking in, some of the superstars and they say, well, this Lori, she's always lifting other people up. Lori, she's always vouching for people. Wow. Lori, she's always putting people on a pedestal on a platform so they can be heard. I love the way Lori operates. I want Lori in my life. Even though you haven't done it for them yet. Right. So it's incredible to watch how you have built this network of people that want to help you succeed. Not just see you succeed, but want to help you succeed. There's a difference because you've always played the long game of helping other people first, and that is a hell of an asset to build up that reciprocity. You've worked hard at building that up. I love that. The next thing that has really made you successful, you have an absolute talent, an absolute eye or an inner knowing of what consumers want and what they don't. And I don't know if this is something that's developed or I don't know if this is something that is already in you. I don't know where this comes from. But with a high degree of accuracy, you can look at something and immediately say, consumers don't want that. Or you can look at something and say, oh, this is what consumers want. And whether it's your business or somebody else's, then lean into that. Where does that knowing come from of knowing what consumers want?

I mean, if I'm being honest, I've always loved being a consumer, and thank you so much for this. This was so nice to hear, and I hope that people are getting value from it. I've always been a consumer, so I enjoy the action of actually browsing, looking, reading, researching. So, like, while other people are maybe online shopping, I'm literally being like, an observer of, wow, this caught my eye. I don't just say, I love this. I say, why do I love this?

To everything.

You analyze it to everything. Oh, you're an analyzer.

Analyzer.

So the thing that bugs me all the time when you analyze to death is the thing that makes you a great consumer superpower.

When I buy a product and I don't like it, I'm like, here's why I don't like it. Here's why this is better. Here's how this should be. Here's what they were missing. And I have conversations about it with my friends. Like, I literally am just like, hey, do you like this product? I'm an ultimate consumer. Like, put something in front of me, and I'll tell you if I think, like, you know, I'll give my honest opinion. This is great. Here's why. Here's why people will love it. Here's why this sucks. Here's why this price point is worth every single penny for how much this is. Here's why you actually should charge more for this, because people are gonna want it more if it's More expensive because it already looks this way. And you're actually gonna question if it looks really expensive, but it's not expensive. If these two things don't match up, then you're gonna also have a miss in another lifetime. I just feel like I would have crushed it in the marketing department somewhere that I loved.

Hey, you don't have to wait for another lifetime. Do it for your company and do it for others.

Exactly.

Okay, guys, so here's why this exercise was important. I want you to go do this with somebody who knows you well or a handful of people that know you well. I want you to put aside your bashfulness and go ask 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 people, hey, what are my talents? What do you see in me that I'm really good at? What do you see in me that are my natural abilities so that you know what to lean? Because sometimes you can't see it in yourself. This will help you recognize what they are so you can lean into them, do more of those and less of the things that you're not good at. Remember, you can always call in a favor. You can trade it out, you can hire it out, you can delegate it out. There's so many ways that you can get other people to do the parts that you're not good at, even if you're just starting out. So do that exercise for us. I would love for you guys to DM us. Let us know what your superpowers are, what you're good at, what you're going to lean into. I always love hearing from you guys and use these things to go be unapologetically successful. Because this conversation I had yesterday with Jason, the editor in chief of Entrepreneur magazine, is so eye opening. We said none of these people have the same traits. They just lean into their superpowers and get other people to rally where they're not. And you can do the same thing. By the way, guys, that's what a mastermind is, is locking arms for one year. It's lending out the parts that you're good at and having other people rally and save you for the parts you're not. That is priceless. And this is literally your very last call, your very last chance to apply for our 2023 Elite mastermind. It's. Well, for all intents and purposes, it's full because we have more offers out than we have spots. But until those offers accept it and pay, one of you could slide into one of those spots. Slide in the DMs, slide in the DMs, we don't count them till they're paid. So go to Chrisharder, Me Mastermind. Apply immediately and I'll make time to jump on Zoom with you and sneak you in if you want. Again, go to Chrisharder, Me Mastermind. Chrisharder, Me Mastermind, Apply immediately. If your application looks good, we'll jump on Zoom and we'll see if you get one of those last couple of spots. All right, guys, thanks for listening. Always love and appreciate you.

Happy holidays. We'll see you next week.

It.