What Will Your Full Circle Moment Be?

Anybody can get past anything. Whatever's holding you back, anybody, any one of you can get past anything. Identify it, go seek out where you can start addressing it and get help. Get the tools at those places and then start implementing the tools.

And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

So what I thought would be really cool for today's episode would be to ask you about this full circle moment that you had three, four days ago. And I'll kind of frame it up a tiny bit, but then I want you to really kind of share it from your perspective. But I remember being at Tony Robbins upw. Right. Unleash the power within.

Unleash the power within.

That's what it is.

I know, but you said, unleasha.

Unleasha. Unleash the power within.

Unleash the power within.

It's the Italian version. And I remember being there and you writing down all your limiting beliefs. Well, I mean, we both were, as part of the exercise, but you had limiting beliefs that I'll let you share, not me. That would have never, ever lent themselves to. Here we are several years later, and you're recording courses for Tony and for Dean Graziosi for them to sell on their platform. That's so crazy. Full circle. And I want to frame this up even more. And by the way, this whole episode, Lori's gonna talk about this stuff just so that you can see where your full circle journey could be. This is for you guys. It's not about Lori. This is so that you can realize, holy shit. If I'm afraid to speak or if I'm afraid to start my business, or if I'm afraid to step out or if I'm afraid to whatever, that that was once us, and that was, in this case, once Lori. So I remember you wouldn't even speak in front of people.

I got nervous speaking in front of dinner groups of, like, six people.

No. You thought you were going to pass out. Like, yeah, guys, sometimes you'd be like, oh, my God, I think I'm going to pass out. You got to hold me. Like you literally were going to black out because of fear and adrenaline.

It was so visceral in my body because of the stories that I was telling myself consistently, like, non stop. The narrative in my brain every single day was that I have panic attacks. Like, it wasn't just that I have them, it was that I am them. Like, I was born with these. These started showing up for me as a pretty young person, and I know what they're traced back to. So I kind of want to go there is just being raised in a more restrictive religion and getting made fun of in school for my religion and weight constantly, I started to associate any form of attention or eyes on me as negative.

So then the safe thing was to become invisible.

I would become invisible. I was constantly quiet. I would avoid it. And then when it came time to actually go to high school, because middle school, my panic attacks were so intense. It was all the time. It was in the hallway. It was if I knew that a teacher was going to call on me, it was, I can't read out loud in front of people because I start to not be able to breathe. And I would have these conversations with my teachers and tell them how bad the panic attacks were and that they couldn't call on me and I couldn't read in front of the class. And I was like, I will do all the schoolwork, but I literally can't sit in the class and do this. And I remember them, number one, not understanding. But also they started to call on me less. And so it just allowed me to, like, keep hiding and keep hiding and keep hiding while this got worse and worse and worse, and it became who I thought I was.

So the important part of this story is you painting the picture of where this fear came from. Because now everybody else should be kind of hitting pause and thinking about, wait, where's my fear come from? Where my childhood or where my experiences have I developed this fear that's holding me back. So you identified it and then you did something about it. We've been to not one, but two Tony Robbins upws. We've been to Landmark. We've been to Jack Canfield. You've been to Jack Canfield? Train the trainer. Like, how to get on stage and.

Train three weeks from like 6 in the morning till you're doing things till like 11 at night. Over the course of three weeks, it's one week at a time, spread throughout the year. But in all honesty, that was the one that really, completely broke me. Like, broke this pattern. But I also needed all of those previous things that you were saying in order to be able to start working through it. And it didn't go away. When I say it broke the pattern, it broke the pattern of the thoughts I was thinking. So I understood now how to have the tools to interrupt the thought. And the feeling never has fully gone away from me. So today I'm going to go and speak at Brenda Burchard's event, Growth Day. And I still get all of the nerves. I do and everyone's like, well, if you just focus on trying to transform people, then you wouldn't be nervous. You should be thinking about the impact you're going to make. Bullshit. Yes, of course, of course. Like, I'm thinking of how I can transform a person, but it doesn't take away the feeling that you were about to be on stage with everyone's eyes on you. And it's a rush anyway. I think before you do something where you're about to grow, that is a completely normal feeling that we need to normalize. I've asked a ton of speakers. I've asked people like Ed Mylett and other big speakers. Do you still get nervous? Of course they still get nervous. It's just. They're not going to let that thought be something where they think it's gonna take them down. And in all honesty, I've told Chris this before. I'm like, I'm not nervous about screwing up. You know that I'm totally fine with being imperfect out there. I'm fine tripping over words. I actually had a fear that I was going to pass out on stage. So that has been my biggest fear, is because it's such a physical response in my body that I start to get dizzy. That then compounds and I'm like, I'm going to pass out. Oh, my God. And the fear of the passing out is what actually makes it way worse.

Yeah. Like when. When. When you get a panic attack over something. Yeah. Or like me, I'll be like, oh, God, I think something's wrong. I might be having a heart attack. And then you get panicked about this possible heart attack.

And.

And then it feels like the heart attack.

Yes.

And then you're like, oh, my God, I'm gonna. That's it. I'm dropping down right here.

So how have I worked through that? Okay, so. And we'll go back to the full circle moment, but I just want to share this first, is that you have to become okay with worst case scenario. And that's gonna scare a lot of people to say that or to think you actually have to be okay with it.

That's huge. Say it one more time. You have to be.

You have to learn how to accept worst case scenario and how would you respond to it? So, okay, I pass out on stage. Will I be okay?

Yep. Yeah.

It'd be a little embarrassing. But you know what? Honestly, my worst fear would come true, and I would learn that I'm okay. And so I would say, okay, you know what? This shows you, whoever is out there Afraid of whatever, that you can do this too. And what has really helped me is just calling out the elephant in the room. If you don't get up there and say that you're nervous and you're trying to play it cool, like you're the expert and the professional, then that's gonna compound that feeling, and it's gonna make it worse. So some of the things I've done whenever I go speak is like, hey, guys, I still get nervous. Can we all take a deep breath together? And honestly, this is for me. Or I make a joke out of it. I'm like, hey, close your eyes. Let's take a few deep breaths. And I'm like, that was just for me. So thank you so much. Another thing that I do, if you've ever seen me speak, is right when I get up there, I kind of start my intro, and it's the first two minutes. I can't feel grounded, and it's like I can't feel my feet. I don't feel present on stage. I'm starting to tell that I'm getting panicky. And I just have everybody meet their neighbor or tell, say, hey, what's your favorite part of the event been so far?

Lean to your neighbor and let them know.

Talk amongst yourselves for two minutes or go meet someone or whatever that looks like. And it just gives me time to get present and catch my breath on stage.

These are tools. These aren't miracles. These aren't unique to you. These are tools you learned. I mean, look at the whole order of things. First you figure out, hey, where's my fear coming from? Then you figure out, okay, where can I go help get over this fear? All the events that we mentioned, right? Then at those events, at those trainings, you got tools. These are the tools that you're mentioning. So what? We're talking about this so that everybody listening realizes, anybody can get past anything. Whatever's holding you back, anybody, any one of you can get past anything. Identify it, go seek out where you can start addressing it and get help. Get the tools at those places and then start implementing the tools.

So I want to share the full circle moment that happened a couple days ago. I was sitting in my hairdresser's chair. She was doing my ponytail before I went and filmed. And I'm sitting there, and I'm like. I start welling up with tears. And I was like, tara, I have to tell you about this full circle moment that I'm having right now. So I go on to tell her about how we went to unleash, unleash the power within. And I wrote in my book, because it asked the question what goals you have. And I wrote down, to be a speaker, to be an author, to transform lives, to be a person of influence. And then it says, what are your limiting beliefs around this? And I wrote down, I'm not smart enough, I didn't graduate high school, I'm not going to be able to be the person who's going to do this because I have panic attacks, I can't even speak in front of like groups of my friends. And I just remember crying, writing that and being ready to be done with it. That's the difference is you have to be so sick and tired of your shitty lies that you're telling to yourself and so sick and tired of this thing that you've been clinging onto. I was so completely ready to be done feeling and thinking that way that when I wrote it down, I think it just felt like a relief to even state it and look at it and say, this is so crazy that I am bound to this story. And so he goes on to talk about, after this, about how this is a story I've been telling myself for years. And, and yes, it might have been a triggered story by something I actually felt, but I'm clinging to it.

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So if you cling to your limits.

Fight for your limitations, fight for your.

Limitations, you get to keep them. And guess what? I was not only getting to keep them, but they were multiplying. So in that event, he went on to talk about the stories we tell ourselves and what is the story you want to replace with this? And I wrote down just like a simple mantra. I don't remember what it was, but I'm gonna go back to Arizona house and find this book and I will show everybody online. But you write down this story that you wanna replace it with, essentially. And every time you catch that old thought, you just say, nope, and you replace it with the new one. And so this actually starts to work, you guys, because you cannot keep playing that old record and think that you're going to get new results. So it's just like putting on a new record and observing that maybe you'll start taking more actions that you wouldn't necessarily take. So then also multiply the fact that I'M getting all of these different tools that I just told you about. Now I feel armed with the fact that, okay, I'm okay with worst case scenario. Do I want it to happen? Absolutely not. But at least it's like, okay, if you're okay with it, you're not trying to avoid it, then, right? You're just like, okay, I'm rolling with the punches. Here we go. And then having these tools that you can now implement, I felt a lot more arm to go and face these things. So fast forward, I'm sitting in the chair getting my hair done. I'm telling her about this event that I wrote down my limiting beliefs, and I was like, and today I am going to go film a Mastermind original course that they're releasing for Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbins. Like, if you would have told me that while I was sitting there rating my limiting beliefs, I wouldn't have believed it. And honestly, I probably would have been way too scared and freaked out by it. So I'm glad that I didn't know. But I do think there's a piece of you that always kind of knows that you're made for greatness. I think that's just in everyone. I think it's because we are a piece of greatness. We're made by something that's great. And so I just think, keep following that feeling and doing whatever it takes to overcome it. Because the other piece that I just want to share is you guys. This was more than ten years later, and everyone just thinks this journey is going to be fast. And at year two, they're like, why is this not happening yet? Why aren't people noticing me? I did the same, same thing. And it takes a lot of time because I would not have been ready in year two or three to do what I just did. I wouldn't have been. I wouldn't have been ready to be able to hold the space that I held in the way that I did in that room with that team of people who was used to working with complete professionals, I wouldn't have been able to do it. So I believe that there's a lot of reasons we're not getting certain opportunities yet. And it's just giving a us more chances to grow.

I want to tell you about another full circle moment that we're living right now. But first, that made me think of a question. Is it worth the wait? Like, you wanted this two or three years after you wrote down in that notebook, but you're getting it, what, 10 years after you wrote it down in that notebook. Is it worth the wait?

It's absolutely 1 million percent worth the wait. And like I mentioned, I wouldn't have been the person who would have even known how to be grateful for this opportunity before. I would have been overwhelmed and too scared and nervous. And we get the opportunities that we get when we're ready for them. And it's not that I felt ready when you can physically and mentally handle them, because of course, I did not feel ready, but I knew that I was from the work that I had done. I still felt nervous. I still felt anxious, but I knew from the work that I had done that I was a person who could handle that.

So do you realize that today is also another big full circle moment? Yes. And they just now they happen left and right, but you kind of start to take them for granted. But I really want to sit and acknowledge this. You just talked about how you were at Tony Robbins upw, writing down in your book that one day I want to be a speaker and blah, blah, blah. And now you did a course with Dean and Tony for their platform. Right. So that's full circle. But today you're going to speak at Brendon Bouchard's event. And right about that same time a decade ago, when you and I were trying to reinvent ourselves, Right. Figure out what's next for us, we were reading Brennan's new book at the time called the Millionaire Messenger.

Yeah, the Millionaire Messenger.

The Millionaire Messenger. Right. We would walk around the lakes in Minneapolis listening to that book together. We probably listened to it two or three times and started to create our products off of it. Right. And study what he was doing. And today you're speaking at his event. Oh, and holy crap, I just realized he's also an investor in my app, Frollo.

Like crazy.

How crazy full circle are these moments that you once went to learn from people and now you're doing business with them or speaking on their stages or investing in each other's companies and all this stuff. These full circle moments need to be shared like this so that anybody who feels like you're on the part of your journey where you just can't see it coming together. It'll come together. It will. It might take longer than you want. I hope it goes quicker than you want, but. It might take longer than you want, but it's worth the work and the wait and the effort.

You'll understand why it took that long when it happens.

Yep. Absolutely.

When it happens.

Listen, guys, I hope this inspired you. That was the Goal. No matter where you are in your circle, so to speak, these full circle moments are waiting for you. I want you guys to DM us, I want you to share with us. How do you want your full circle moment to turn out? Where are you now? What are you writing down in your notebook? Whose events are you going to? Who are you learning from? And then what's that full circle moment gonna be? Are you gonna be on their stages? Are you going to do business with them? Are they going to invest your company? Like, who knows what. So I want you guys to share with us what you want your full circle moments to be. And by the way, one of the ways that we really accelerated our full circle moments was getting in the rooms. We know most of these individuals because we got into the rooms or had a friend of a friend, right? And you just start to work your way into people's circles of influence and they want you. They only want to do work with the people that they see doing the work. Does that make sense? Right? The big dreamer. So if you're a big dreamer, if you're doing the work and if you want to come have dinner with us three times this year and network with our circle of influence next week. Actually this week, sorry. Literally, I'm trying to predict when this thing comes out this week. We just launched the dinner series as of the day that this thing comes out. So all you have to do is go to chrisharder, medinner or loriharder.com dinner, either one of those chrishard me dinner or lori harder.com dinner and go grab one of those seats if there's one available when you hear this. And we will see you at dinner.

So excited, you guys. And I can't wait to see you in those rooms because it's going to change the game for you. It's going to really accelerate your journey. So we will see you next week.

Thanks for listening.

Sam.