Why Stepping Away Makes You MORE Successful

This podcast is sponsored by Granola. Granola is an AI-powered notepad built for the way real people actually meet. You can try it totally free for 3 months. Just head to granola.ai/earn. Shopify, try the e-commerce platform I trust for Glossier. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/happy. Indeed, need to hire? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. Just go to indeed.com/podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on Earn Your Happy. Rella. Go to getrella.com and start your 14-day free trial. Use code EARN for 10% off your first 3 months and see why social media teams are ditching the tool chaos. I knew that this year for me, I just want to root down. Like, that's all I want. I want to be building community here. I don't feel like traveling right now at all. I am just in a phase where all I want is community, and I want to be rooted. I want to be in my home, and I want to be building Glossy. I want to be building our masterminds. I want to feel really solid in what I'm doing in my life's purpose. And we're back with another episode of He Said, She Said.

And I'm back from freaking Europe, like a trip of a lifetime, a brother's trip of a lifetime. I didn't just have a weekend. I had a week, I had 8 days in Italy with my brother doing all of my dream things. So if you guys don't know, we've got a dear friend, Rob Murachoy, like lifelong friend. And he is the master at curating experiences, especially in Europe. It's what he was born to do. And a lot of Lori's and my best experiences in our life have come, have been born out of his creative, you know, imagination and out of his contacts. He's the most connected guy I've ever met. Well, anyways, Nick and I went on a trip because it was very guys-themed. It was— I told Rob once, I said, listen, I want a trip that's nothing but staying in castles and driving cars through, like epic cars through Italy. I want to visit Ferrari headquarters. I want to visit other Italian car makers and I just want to have the week of my life. And so he put it together and it was the best thing ever. And making memories with your brother is the best thing you can ever take some time out to do because we'll never forget these.

And for some context for Rob, he you know, lived in the US but spent so many summers for, you know, 20 years in some parts of Europe, different parts of Europe. And now he lives in Florence, Italy. And so this man, you can't drop him in a room without everybody falling in love with him and like becoming best friends with them. So he is the person to curate experiences. I actually want to get into some of the things that he curated for you guys, because not only do I want people just to listen to this podcast because I think it's so fun to learn about other places and the experiences that you have when you travel. But getting outside of your perspective has been one of the biggest gifts that has happened to us. From getting in rooms where you're uncomfortable, from traveling to places that you don't know about, from seeing things outside of your little bubble is life-changing for your business. It's also life-changing for your relationships. Like, I actually couldn't wait for Chris to go on this trip and come home and tell me all the stories and tell me what's different.

And don't wait for me to leave.

No, I really actually missed you quite a bit. Um, but I think it's so important for everything that you're doing to get outside of your bubble. So what were some of the things that happened on the trip that for you really like impacted?

So aside from like making all the memories and having the incredible experiences, the first thing is this. A lot of times we're afraid to leave our businesses. I mean, this is the most busy I've ever been in my life. So we're afraid that if somehow we leave, that somehow, you know, your business has stopped. But if you've built your businesses correctly, for example, my co-founder of Frello, Matt, was back here making things happen. Our Frello team was back here making really cool things happen. We landed a new Frello investor while I was gone. By the way, we're taking a few more investors for Frello if you guys are interested. So, you know, reach out and DM me if you're an accredited investor about that. But, you know, we found a new investor while I was gone. The bus kept rolling down the road. Just fine. And I think that's the first lesson is now listen, if you don't have the infrastructure in place, yeah, the wheels might fall off your bus if you leave for too long.

Yeah.

But if you strive to put the infrastructure in place and have the right team members, then everything keeps going just fine, if not better, without you in the way sometimes.

Mm-hmm.

So that was my first big takeaway is I'm less panicked about being away for small stints of time. And this was proof. That when you put the right people and the right processes in, then you can step away. And it's kind of that freedom that entrepreneurs have always been looking for. Listen, I've been grinding, working two full-time jobs for years now. Like you guys actually have no clue how much it is. And so to be able to step away for 8 days for something this wonderful and come back and have things, yeah, the ball move down the field even more, it's priceless. Mm-hmm.

Okay. So the power of being able to know that you can step away. Yep. Like just feeling okay about it. Did you have a little anxiety in the beginning?

I absolutely did. And guilt. I had anxiety and I had guilt, but I trusted the process that I had the right people in place. And I spoke about my guilt and anxiety. Like I told Matt, hey man, listen, I feel really guilty that I'm going away for a week. He's like, that's asinine. He goes, that's completely unhealthy. I got this. Which is a joke, right? Because Matt built a multi-hundred million dollar company and I'm worried about going away for a week. You know, he's like, this is small potatoes to me. I've got this. And yeah, there's guilt and there is fear when you step away from something that is moving so quickly. But what is life if you can't? And I think that's part of the lesson. And that's, by the way, when you go to Europe, and this is what Rob, our friend that we told you about, promotes, they live life very differently. Over here, we get so swept up in, I've got to keep working, I've got to keep working, I've got to keep working. Over there, they live a beautiful life. Without making work 100% of their life. And I'm over there at least once a year, sometimes twice a year, and I come back with the most healthy reminder. It's like I need that annual reset to stop and enjoy the coffee. Things are going to be okay. To go sit at the beach for a while. Things are going to be okay. To take that car trip for half a day down the winding roads. Things are going to be okay. And if I'm not torn out of the momentum that I am experiencing here and reminded of that, I don't know where I'll end up.

Oh my God, that is so true. It's so easy to get caught up in the belief that stress and anxiety are serving you, and they're actually taking away. And sometimes you have to get so far outside of what you're doing in order to remember that. And Europe kind of does that. It rips you out from right down to the start of the time zones. Like, you're just so out of it at first that you're kind of like, you have to surrender. And that beginning of surrender kind of like opens up, you know, so many things and opens up the trip.

Yeah, you know, I've got another example of like surrendering and good things happening, uh, not just for me. So, uh, one of the people on the trip, uh, is an incredible chef and friend that we've worked with in the past, Lisa Hines. And she had filmed a pilot for a cooking show. Now listen, when you film a pilot for a show, guys, the chances of you getting a season are slim to none. Let's just be real. They really are. Even though you might have a great production team, it's like, no, this, this is really going to be popular. It's really going to go somewhere. Listen, I know a lot of people that filmed a lot of pilots. Let's say 19 out of 20 of them— no, that's not even fair— 49 out of 50 of them don't go anywhere.

Yeah.

And so, you know, she had a lot of hopes on this. She, she was really excited about it, and she got there, and she was speaking it into existence the whole trip. You know, day 1 telling us about it, day 2 telling us about it, day 3, gosh, I hope it happens, day for, you know, telling us about it. And at lunch on the last day of the trip, she opened up her email and there it was, an email that she got a 10-episode season.

That is so cool.

I mean, we all just lost it, celebrated. It was incredible. A 10-episode season just by, you know, doing the work and speaking it into existence and then letting go and going on the trip and saying, well, what will happen will happen. And I just thought it was so cool that it was at lunch on the very last day after she had spoken about it all week long, hoping it would happen.

Wow, that is literally always how it goes. I love that. I love that for her. She's so great. She actually was the chef for my women's dinner that I recently did. I was telling you guys about. Okay, so I want some other things because I know whenever I go to Europe, I'm like, I always get these little takeaways of how they live or something, you know, in history that like really kind of moved me. Is there anything throughout the week that you just like learned or kind of shifted you during—

Absolutely. So, you know, if you guys know me, you know I'm a car enthusiast and a Ferrari enthusiast. And for the first time in my life, I got to go to Ferrari headquarters there in Modena, and we got a private tour, and it was incredible. Like, I just felt like I was on these magical grounds. And they tell the story of Enzo Ferrari that, of course, founded it.

Yep.

And to watch this man's dream turn into a lifelong legacy that little boys and some little girls grow up just hoping one day they could see one of these things, much less own one of these things, is remarkable and inspiring. And when you learn about the story, the number of times he was almost bankrupt, the number of times that he almost did deals where he would've been a part of Ford Motor Company and then ended up as a Fiat instead, and that was his lifeline until he could take the ownership of Ferrari back. The number of stories that aren't told or aren't known where the company almost did not exist along the way. You look at Ferrari today, you're like, wow, amazing. They churn out all these half a million dollar, million dollar cars. And everybody wants one and they have a waiting list a million years long. And matter of fact, if you walk into a Ferrari dealership, most of you don't know this, you can't just go buy a new one. They won't sell you a new one. You have to start with a used one. You have to work your way up at the dealership and create what's called Ferrari heritage. And then they start allowing you to, okay, you can buy this one next. Okay, you can buy that one next. Imagine that.

Crazy.

Imagine that.

That's like a Birkin, right? It's like a Birkin. You have to get invited to buy one.

Yep. Same thing.

Or something like that.

Same thing. But I'll tell you, a company that's doing that well today almost didn't exist at least 5 different times by like a thumbnail worth of margin of error. And so it's a great reminder that when things aren't going your way, Or when you're forced in a big pivot, or when you have to take that deal you don't want to take, but it keeps you alive. When you have to risk it all, every last penny that you have, and be like, well, I'm eating bread for the next few months and let's see if this pans out or not.

Yep.

It works out and it's worth it. I've got another story about it too. So we got a private tour of the Pagani factory. Now most of you guys probably know what Ferrari is. I bet a lot of you don't know what Pagani is.

No.

Pagani looks like an F1 race car basically, but it's a street legal car. And they churn out about 25 of them a year. They start at $2.5 million, but most are $3.5 to $4 million.

I saw one in Beverly Hills.

Yes. Yep. I saw one in Newport here the other day too. And so picture cars, $2.5 to $4 million bucks, handmade, incredible. You see it coming, you hear it coming, and there aren't very many of them in the world. Like I said, they churn out about 25 a year. Well, we got a private tour of the factory, which was remarkable. And that car company only exists because Mr. Pagani, the founder of Pagani, had a dream job at Lamborghini, the job that everybody coveted. Everybody would want his job if you're in the automobile business. And he wanted to work with experimental materials for bodies of cars, and Lamborghini wouldn't let him. And he brought them that experimental materials that he created, improved on his own time, and said, "Look, we can have better vehicles." Now imagine saying that to Lamborghini, right? "We can have better vehicles than what we're already doing." And which, by the way, Lamborghini is built right there too. It's Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati, Pagani. They're all built in the same valley. They call it the Valley of Cars and Food. It's amazing. Wow. Yep. Right there in Modena, in that whole valley. So finally, remember, he has a dream job. They say, "I'm sorry, we're not going to let you use these materials and experiment with these materials." He says, "All right, then I'm going to go do it on my own." And they laughed at him. They said, "What do you mean? You're going to leave the absolute dream job that everybody in the world— Don't let the door hit you on the way out." Yeah. So he bought from Lamborghini, he walked out the door, bought from them this huge machine that they had that they weren't using. I don't know what the machine is called, but it was what allowed him to create these experimental body materials.

Okay.

He bought it with every last penny he could possibly scratch up from friends, families, borrowing everything. And sure enough, he built his first body of a Pagani. Handmade from scratch. And somebody bought it and then he bought and built another one and then he expanded and then someone built, you know, he built another one, somebody bought. And before you know it, he had left his dream job at one of the world's most iconic car companies and created, this is very recent, it's only 25 years ago, another iconic car company by taking the risk and being willing to burn it all down and walking away from good. And there's a great message there, guys. How many of you, how many of us are trapped in good? He had a dream job at a dream company with lots of respect and a great income. He could have stayed there and just said, oh well, I had this thing that I wanted to do, but they wouldn't let me, and I couldn't walk away from this good situation. But now he's one of the most famous car makers in the whole wide world and will be in history.

Wow. So is that the most expensive car?

Mm, nah, close. Pagani and Bugatti.

Okay.

Yeah, they kind of go neck and neck. But yeah, he's building the most expensive car in the world for all intents and purposes, and only because he was willing to walk away from good, matter of fact, from really good. So how many of you are trapped in good? How many of you are trapped in really good? Whether it's a job, a relationship, a neighborhood, a situation. How many of you aren't willing to invest your money in something because, well, I've got a good amount and I don't want to risk it? How many of you aren't willing to, like, walk out of that job or shut down that business to go do the one that you know is better because maybe people would judge you for it. Like, oh, that's so dumb. I remember when people told us, Lori, when we walked away from things like, that's so dumb. How could you walk away from that? That's so much money. How can— as secure, how could you walk away from that? Because we wanted something fucking great.

Yeah.

And that's what these people did.

Okay. So I know you also had an experience where you were surprised by Rob and his team and they had set up a bunch of telescopes to look at all of the planets and talk about the galaxies, etc. I want to know, did that make you feel like— what was that like just to think of how expansive, huge, and endless those things are? Tell us a little bit about that experience.

Really cool. We went out to this dark hill, if you will, in the hills of Umbria, and there's this, you know, beautiful setting all set up for everybody with drinks and everything, and Then there's these massive telescopes up on this hill that were brought in just for this. And the gentleman that brought them in, uh, he works very high up for European Space Force. And his job is to watch all the European satellites and watch out for other spy satellites and attack satellites. Apparently this goes on every day, all the time. It's like Russia or China will move their satellites in and try and ruin, or they'll try and steal data. They move their satellite to one of ours or one of theirs and they try to steal the data that's being transmitted. And so it's this giant game in the skies that's going on while we're all just living our life down here of cat and mouse with satellites, like satellite wars, he said. So we're sitting there looking at Saturn through these telescopes and the rings of Saturn, which was amazing. We're looking at the moon and the craters in great detail on the moon. We're looking at stars, yeah, that you can't see with your naked eye. And then all of a sudden here they are really up close in, in the satellites. And it was just awe-inspiring to realize that there's so much more going on out there. That you don't know about that is out of your control. And so for you control freaks out there, you think that you got control down. You're like, well, if I cling on to this, I'm going to be okay. If I keep doing that, I'm going to be okay. If I keep toughing this out, or if I'm a, you know, hardworking person, I'm going to be okay. Guys, there's so much going on. And by the way, this isn't depressing, but there's so much going on where you're not going to be okay if it doesn't work out that's out of our control that you should just stop taking life so seriously. Here's what you should do. Simplify your life to what is your dream? Pursue it with a passion. What makes you feel good? Make sure you're doing those things while pursuing your dream. And who do you want to make memories with and carve out intentional time to do that? You do those 3 things and the rest is out of your control and you're going to have a good life. Hmm.

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That's G-E-T-R-E-L-L-A.com to start your free 14-day trial and use code EARN for 10% off and see why social media teams are ditching the tool Chaos. Okay, so the dichotomy of Europe for me is so interesting because it's like people who risked everything to make their big dream happen. And then it's also this culture of like, relax, just be present, enjoy your life. It's the little things. How did you feel coming back? Did you feel both of those things? Like, I know that we are a bit of a different breed, you guys, so I fully understand that. Chris and I are both, you know, huge dreamers who typically want to risk it all to go big. But how did you feel being over there? Does it make you want to just like get your dream out but not be so attached to it?

I realized I want to spend a lot more time in life looking at beautiful things at a beautiful pace with beautiful people that I care about. To earn that You have to be able to put yourself into position where you don't ever have to work again and all the people you care about are taken care of, right? True freedom. So I came back with a sense of urgency. Let's hurry up and finish building this company. Let's hurry up and sell that company. Let's hurry up and do these things. Pedal to the metal.

Mm-hmm.

So that I can have more of my life left to spend time over there exploring, being with people that I care about, seeing the world, seeing 1,000 or 2,000-year-old pieces of art, and really realizing what we were put here to do, and that is experience.

Mm, I love that. Is there anything else you want to share about your trip?

That was a lot, guys. I mean, listen, at the end of the day, what you make a priority will happen. I didn't have time for this trip It was not conveniently placed. I almost didn't go 10 different times, and now I can't imagine not going. And why did it happen? Because I put it on the calendar, I put the money down, and I was forced to go. And it was one of the most beautiful things ever. There's a lesson for you guys: put it on the calendar, put the money down, and trust the process. You'll be really freaking happy you did when it's all over, regardless of how you feel in the moment.

I just want to— I want to point something out too, for, you know, I had a lot of people be like, why in the world are you not on this trip? Oh my God, it's amazing.

Yeah, but you got a lot of that.

I got a lot of it. And, um, I— last year when we were planning the trip, on the other trip that we were on in Italy, I knew that this year for me, I just want to root down. Like, that's all I want. I want to be building community here. I don't feel like traveling right now at all. Like, I don't even feel like taking a 45-minute flight to Phoenix, even though I really wanna see my family. But like, that's how much I just actually wanna be rooted. Um, because through our thirties we traveled so much. We traveled minimum twice a month. Minimum. Sometimes, sometimes way more than that. And I am just in a phase where all I want is community and I wanna be rooted and I wanna be in my home and I wanna be building Glossier. I wanna be building our masterminds. I wanna feel really solid in, in what I'm doing in my life's purpose. And so I knew last year I was like, nope, babe, I know you like, you really wanted me to go. And I was like, I literally can't do it. And so for anybody who has a partner who like really wants to travel or you really want to travel, but your partner doesn't feel as passionate, like let them go on their own. Let them go experience life like that on their own. And I'm telling you, it actually makes us so much better. Yeah, because when he comes back, he has so much to report. And when he comes back, I have so much to report because I kind of view the weeks that he's gone. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna make magic happen back here so when he comes back, I also have some really fun updates for him. And I did, like, we both had such amazing updates that it was so fun, and I really missed him. And so that also makes it great with the travel. So I just want to say, if you're like feeling a little divided in some spots in your partnerships, like, let that be okay and let them have something of their own once in a while to go and do.

I love that. It's— I think the message there is stand loudly for your truth of the moment.

Yep.

And then everything else will work itself out.

Totally. And we've absolutely been like, you know, had times where it's like, this is really important for me if you go. And of course that's very different, but that wasn't the case with this.

So, well, it created such a gift. I got to go and spend 8 days making priceless memories with my brother, and I never got to do that before. He's been on trips with us, but not just the two of us.

Right.

And that was a different energy. All right, well guys, that's our trip in a nutshell.

Get you out there, explore the world, see amazing things, and we will talk to you soon. Bye everyone!