Why You Feel Trapped in a Business You Built to Be Free (+ How to Change It)

You may be yearning for time, freedom, but it might be because you're in a position within that business or company or thing that is not lighting you up. So you're feeling very trapped and you're feeling very drained and you're feeling like you have no time to do what you love when you might actually be able to do what you love within what you've created. And we're back with another episode of He Said, she Said.

Yo, do you know what we're actually back doing? The Elite Entrepreneur Mastermind. So if you guys follow us, you know that we run what we call the Elite Entrepreneur Mastermind. And that's for businesses that earn over $500,000 per year. Most of them in. There are seven or even some eight figure businesses for annual revenue. And we meet up twice a year. This next year, hint, hint, there's going to be additional meetups.

So excited.

But this past year there's two meetups. Three if you're a veteran, if you're a repeat. And the last meetup of the year is coming up this week. So Lori and I have been planning out the agenda, working with the team, getting the guest speakers, building the exercises. Like, this is one of our all time favorite things we do because this is the one that's in person. This is the group of Ride or Dies. This is the group where I hand curate the room every single year by going through the applications and choosing the right people. And then you guys lock arms for an entire year and you get each other's back and you kick each other back in the game and you share context, you share lessons and you do business with each other. Some of you become best friends, some of you start businesses together. It's the coolest thing ever. It's like the shortcut to the room where everything you wish existed in one place.

Well, we took all of the things that really have worked for us throughout the years. And this is the really cool part about being an entrepreneur now for 15 years, is to look back when we get to curate something and go, okay, what worked the absolute best? When were we pushed, like outside of our comfort zone in a massive way in order to move the needle. And we put it all together into the mastermind that we wanted. So that's what I love about this, is that it truly is all of the pieces of the puzzle that really helped move the needle for us when we were growing. And so many people always ask us the question, like, how did you build what you built? This is literally how we built what we built. If you want to know, you have to come in the room, you have to get in a mastermind. There's. It's literally like going to accelerated college for exactly what you want and getting all of the answers to the test from people who are doing exactly what you want to do. And I will say, because we attract so many different types of people and businesses and single people and couples and all the things, you get such incredible perspective in this room. And you guys know I am all about the women's events. Like, I'm obsessed with it. But I will say there is something so special and magical about this particular room because like I said, it's men, it's women, it's couples. It's like just this perfect mix of human beings from all different businesses where you get to learn different things that are crushing it in certain businesses that can also be applied to yours. Like the creativity and, and ideas is exponential and being around people who are ahead of you. And that's really what this mastermind attracts, is it's really tough to beat a room where like people are ahead of you, at least in one to two areas of your life. And I think that's vital. I actually believe people coming in this room should be a little bit nervous because I know that's where the up level happens.

Yeah. So listen, if you guys want to get in the room for 2026, here's exactly how the curation of the room works. First at this event, we find out who's returning from 25 to 26. And it's always half the room or more. The last couple years, it's been an insane percentage. We have people that are in there for four years, five years. We even have some people that have been in there the entire time. This will be the eighth or ninth year that we're doing it. So first we see how many spots there's going to be left and there's always not that many spots. Then we go to the applications, we collect applications all year long and just like right now, probably going to fill one out. We look at those. Now here's the key. We look at the applications in time order and we hand pick the ones that we think are the most exciting fits for the room. Now, this doesn't mean the people making the most money. This doesn't mean the people the biggest following. This doesn't mean the people that are the coolest or whatever it might be of the coolest Instagram. We look at the applications and say, who will help us deliver one promise. And that is this Everything you need for one year is in that room or one introduction away. So we love the diversity of different types of business, right? You got your finance experts in there. We've got your CEO experts, your operations experts, your insurance experts, we've got your marketing experts, your funnel experts. We hand curate the room based on the applications that you guys fill out. So don't discount yourself. Don't think that room intimidates me, or I won't have anything to offer.

Just apply and see.

Just apply and see. So right now, hit pause, go to chrisharder Me Mastermind, and click apply. It's real simple. There's not that many questions. Again, go to chrisharder Me. That's me. Mastermind, and click apply. Promise you one of the dopest rooms you could ever find yourself in. I said, speaking of entrepreneurship and sharing, like, the ups and the downs, and we have, like, really intimate conversations when we run these things, because everyone gets real vulnerable, and they're like, here's what I'm struggling with. And in both of our masterminds, the one that is above $500,000 for earnings and the ones that's below it, there's a common thread, and that is people struggle with their time freedom, and they almost have this what our friend Christine Hassler would call a expectation hangover, right? They're like, I got into entrepreneurship because I wanted time freedom, or I wanted more freedom, or I wanted more financial freedom. And they're like, this feels like anything but financial freedom at the moment. Or this feels like anything but time freedom at the moment. And so we want to kind of break down, like, what should your expectations be if you're going to build a good business? And what are some ways that you kind of can build in more freedom? And what is the actual freedom that you're saying yes to? Because it's not that there's not financial freedom, and it's not that there's not time freedom, but it's not the freedom that most people think at first when they're getting into it. So, Lori, how would you rate the freedoms you have in building two very big businesses right now?

Well, and I also want to share, like, there's always outliers. So everything we say, there's always going to be someone who is the exception to the rule. But I will say those numbers are few and far between of the people who can have a ton of time freedom right away while building a big business, that's very, very rare.

So any business.

Any business. So I will say that I feel Like, I don't have a ton of time freedom, but I have so much freedom with who I want to work with, what I want to build, what position in my company that I'm going to be working myself into or out of. And I think, to me, those are more important than time freedom right now. And so I think that you're constantly weighing what is most important in your life. Now, to me, sometimes at this point in life, because I do feel like I still, like, I'm reaching my mid-40s. I still feel like I have so many big dreams, like, inside of me that I want to be doing that. Having complete time freedom to, like, go and travel the world or spend a lot of time with different people, which I still feel like I do have. Some of that is not the most important to me. It's really like being able to make sure I see my clients, close friends, family, but build something of meaning in my life. So with that, I will say the freedoms that are really important to me. The expectation that I'm setting for myself is to make sure that I feel free within what I'm building to be doing what I want. So I'm really assessing, like, what does it mean to be, like, loving what I'm doing within my podcast? So I'm looking at what makes me feel free within that. Well, in all honesty, I've been interviewing a lot of guests who haven't necessarily been on my wish list. They've been people who have come to me or pitched to me. And while they're great people, I realize that I don't feel as free on my podcast anymore or love it as much because I really want that list to be my dream people only. So I've had to set a couple boundaries recently to be like, they might be amazing people, they might be the smartest, they might be the most brilliant. I might really even like them. But if it's not a topic that's making me feel excited, lit up, or free, like I'm choosing it, then that's. It doesn't really make me feel free within my. That work, within my podcast. The day arrives and I'm like, I didn't really choose these people. This isn't the exact conversation I want to be having. So it can make me feel very constrained. And for example, in glossy, like, I want to make sure that as I'm growing the team, I can be in marketing, in the creative, in the branding, and in the partnerships and out in the world doing those things when I'm not in those. I don't feel very free and it can make me feel like I don't have a lot of energy, which can then make me feel like I'm in a business business that I'm like, oh my God, I started this. But I feel tired or stuck or like I'm in mud. So I really want you guys to be thinking about the fact that you may be yearning for time freedom, but it may actually not be that you're yearning for time freedom. It could be that you're yearning to spend your time more in things that light you up within what you already have. So really learning, like going through and taking account of where maybe you have the thing that you thought you wanted, but now you feel shackled by, but it might be because you're in a position within that business or company or thing that is not lighting you up. So you're feeling very trapped and you're feeling very drained and you're feeling like you have no time to do what you love when you might actually be able to do what you love within what you've created.

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It's funny because the two reasons I hear people say the most often in terms of why they want to start their business. Like, I want to build time freedom and I want to build financial freedom. Except the great irony is this. In most business journeys, the two things you have the least of in the beginning is time freedom and financial freedom. That's just the facts. You have to go into it with that expectation. Now you're building towards those things long term, but you're actually not choosing those things in the short term. And I mean the first couple of years or few years while you're figuring things out. Five years depends on the size of the business. Yeah. And it's funny because there's that meme that floats around every once in a while that says entrepreneurs, the only people who choose to trade a 40 hour per week job for an 80 hour per week passion. Right? And it's kind of true. Like it's a great meme because it sets you up for the right expectations. Now there's two levers you can pull in order to get more freedom, and that is, I'm talking time freedom. You can pull down on the size of the dream or how fast you want to get there, and then what are you getting back? Some of your time and some of your energy. But for some of you, you might hear that like, no, thank you. That doesn't sound very good. The other lever that you can pull if you want more time freedom is the profitability lever. You might have a business that's up and printing pretty good money now, but you're like, I've got no time freedom. Keeping this thing going even though it's making a lot of money. Well, if you're keeping a lot of that money, you could be trading out, delegating out, hiring out a lot of those tasks that are bogging you down right now and then keeping less money. And so you actually do have control. Whether it's the size of the dream or the speed of the dream, or whether it's how profitable you want to be. How much of that piece of the pie are you willing to give up to get some of your time and energy back? You have that control to a certain extent, but most people never stop to realize, oh, wait, I'm doing this to myself. And then even when they do, they may realize, nope, I want to be very profitable. I want to use this for my lifestyle, and I want to build this really big, and I want to do it as fast as possible. That's okay. You just have to be aware of what you are exchanging. Because everything is an energy exchange. Everything, Everything in life is an energy exchange. And if you're one of the really ambitious, big dreamers like us, that's okay. You know, you're choosing to invest time and energy now to get exponential returns on that time and energy much later down the road. And that's kind of the big picture of this thing. So if you're struggling right now, like, this is not what I expected, or this is not going how I wanted. This just doesn't feel good. You don't have to stay there. You can pull or push those levers I talked about, or you can go all in and say, at least I know where I'm headed towards.

So hopefully this helps you. If maybe you feel like you've been doing it wrong because you're not, it's really setting the expectation. And we find that most all pain, I feel like 98% of all pain comes from a different expectation than what you were holding in your brain. And a lot of times when I just reset the expectation, I can really like find that happiness within that thing and I have a lot more that I can give.

Yeah, listen, if you're looking for other people to have these type of conversations with who have already been there, done that, or if you just want to feel like, oh wait, this is normalized, never mind, I'm on the right track. Go get yourself into a Mastermind and if you're going to earn over $500,000 in 2026, get yourself into our elite level Mastermind. It is awesome. Little bit of one on one coaching from me through the year, strategy sessions with me, the best group that's ever curated, lots of in person opportunities for you to bond with everybody. I'm telling you, it's the best one out there.

I love it because I really get to know everyone. We get to spend a lot of time with people. We have amazing long dinners, lunches, incredible mind blowing speakers that you would never normally get in the room with. And so I just think there's no faster way to up level.

Yeah, I agree. So right now at the end of this episode, go to chrisharder Me Mastermind and click apply. Remember, first come, first serve with those applications. Chrisharder Me Mastermind. All right guys, thanks for listening.

We will see you next week.