Why You Need to Get Yourself in Rooms Where Other People Are Living Your Dream Life
19 Nov 2024 · 13 min
Lori and Chris Harder share lessons from their dinner series on networking and surrounding yourself with people already living your dream. Jeff Fenster built a scalable business through weekly calls, and David Norrie teaches how body language opens doors. The core move: show up to rooms where your future already exists, stay open, and treat rejection as temporary.
Questions this episode answers
November 19, 2024
$500,000 (annual)
Chapters
A lot of you, me included in the past, we think that we want the relationships and we even show up in some of the rooms. But we're not showing up in a way that we are open. I can't tell you how many times that we have randomly met people who have completely changed our lives because our body language is open, we're approachable, we want to talk, we're up for the relationship. And we're back with another episode of he said, she said.
And we're back from our dinner series event, which was the greatest event I think we've ever, ever thrown. But before we get to that, give us your glossy tip.
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Yes.
All right, so let's talk about the dinner series. I am still, like, freaking out over how good this thing went. And I'm sorry to say that about our own event, but I don't say it about Lori and I. I say it about how the event played out and the impact that was had and what the people said and like what they took away and like the fact that they're still posting about it three, four days later, like a bunch of main page posts. Oh, my God, it freaking worked. And I'm so grateful.
You know, I will actually say that I believe we are some of the best cur leaders of a room. I have no problem saying that because we have been doing this for over 10 years. We know that, you know, if we get people into a room, the only way people keep coming into your rooms and coming to your events is if they're good. End of story. Because it is such a word of mouth experience. And everybody talks. It's so funny. People will come in and they'll be like, you know, my friend came or this person told me I had to go. And if a room is not good, trust me, it's not going to last more than two, three years without a lot of people knowing. So I will say we curate a room like nobody else. Because we have been in the rooms, we are the customer, we've done it over and over. We analyze things to death. We say where our experience was good and where it was bad. And also a lot of people don't know that. I actually took courses and classes in a year long course with Jack Canfield in 2014, literally on facilitating. The course was three weeks long. It went over every single detail that you could ever imagine on how to create. Create an amazing event from start to finish, really, from the customer's perspective.
Well, so one, I agree with you. Like sometimes it's funny saying that about yourself. So please know we say it from a humble place, but damn it, we know how to create idea exchanges and we know how to create lessons like nobody else. And that's what we want to share. Today was like, if you weren't in the room, if you couldn't be for whatever reason, no problem. We still wanted to bring them back to you totally free, just as a way of adding value. And there's probably a couple lessons from Jeff Fenster, who is one of the speakers. There's a couple of lessons from David Nori, who is one of the speakers. But I wanted to start with a segue of what you just said. And one of the lessons I heard over and over and over from the guests, right? They pulled us aside at the end of the night or they sat by us at the dinner table or whatever. They kept saying this one thing and that was they couldn't believe the impact of being in the room where other people are already living out your dreams or where other people are already living out your realities, or where other people are already living out your goals. The value of being in that kind of room is priceless. Priceless, Priceless, Priceless. I don't care what you do this year. Our room, somebody else's room, a freaking magical room. I don't care. Get your ass into the rooms where other people are already living out what you're hoping to one day live out yourself.
Does that include the magic spots in Wisconsin on the sides of roads or no?
What is that like the waysides?
Yeah. When you're on road trips and it's like the magic spot you guys Google magic spots were. Don't, don't go in those rooms.
But anyway, yeah, like by okay, so, yeah, don't go in those rooms. Get into smarter bedrooms. Okay? So anyhow, that was the lesson, guys. There's a real lesson there that I don't want you to skip over. And that is the shortcut is getting into the rooms where others are already living out your dreams, because you're going to get the answers, you're going to get the shortcuts, you're going to get the don't turn left, turn right. You're going to get the don't go up, go down. People are going to save you so much time and so much money and so much heartache and so much heartbreak by being able to say, here's how I navigated it already. But more important than that, it's not just about the roadmap that's shared. It's about the fact that it makes it real for you. I think when people came up and said this to us, what they were really saying is, I didn't believe this was possible until I met this person who's already doing it. I didn't believe you could make this much Money until these 10 people outside at my dinner table were already making this much money. I didn't believe I could sell this many widgets until I met this person and this person that's already selling this many widgets, this many books, this many courses, this many whatever. And all of a sudden, it was freaking real for them that they could, too, because someone they met and said, hey, you're cool, but you're no cooler than me. The only missing piece must be a little bit of knowledge, a little bit of time, and a little bit of effort.
I think one of the craziest things was how incredibly approachable and relatable Jeff Fenster was. He's an eight. He has eight and nine figure businesses.
Multiple, multiple of them.
He's actually one of the most successful entrepreneurs I've ever met in my entire life. And one of the biggest takeaways from people was that whenever they would ask a question, the answer was actually something that they were capable of doing. Because Jeff really is just. He's become the master of learning to identify what he needs and how to hire for that thing and implementing whatever strategy he needs to make sure that it gets done. And the way that he explained it, though, you guys, this is amazing because you can listen to this podcast and then you can actually go and listen to Jeff's podcast, which we posted this week, so you can go and check out the entire thing, was that he is so incredibly attainable. And I think that's the biggest, most inspiring thing I took away from Jeff. But what I want to talk about from networking and also from something that David Norrie had said, is that you have to be up for the relationship. So a lot of you, me included in the past, not anymore. But we think that we want the relationships and we even show up in some of the rooms, but we're not showing up in a way that we are open. That actually says, you know what? I'm up for this relationship. I actually want to be approachable and open and network. And I want to use an example that I actually had happen today. There's a girl that I see all of the time at the coffee shop and at the gym and online. It's funny. I followed her and I had sent her a DM because I was like, you know, I see this girl all the time in person. I would love to connect with her. Because we have so much in common. I feel like I could totally help her with things. I feel like we would have a lot to talk about. And this girl is so not open to connect. Like, I think that I could probably add a lot of value to her life. But the last thing this girl wants to do is connect. Like, I saw her at the coffee shop today, and I tried smiling at her, and she looked down right away. Like, her body language is closed off, her arms are crossed. She doesn't want to talk to anyone at all. She just stays on her computer the whole time. And I'm like, that makes me so sad because I've tried to connect with her multiple times, but her body language is closed and. And she's closed. So that brings me to this. We have opportunities every single day. And David talked about this in his talk. You know, when we're in a coffee shop, he calls it tats and teas. Do we ask about someone's tattoos? Do we ask about why someone's wearing a hat or if they're wearing a Positive Vibes Only shirt? Do we mention something about it? Are we open to connect? Is our body language open? Do we smile? Do we do a big, toothy smile to people to say, hey, I'm friendly? Or are we totally closed off when we go in these different rooms or when we go to the coffee shop or when we're walking on the street? Because let me tell you, I can't tell you how many times that we have randomly met people who have completely changed our lives. Because our body language is open, we're approachable, we want to talk, we're up for the relationship.
That was my biggest takeaway when David was talking as well. And I'm just going to add it in a bit of a different way or drive the nail home, and that's this. Networking and first impressions are a learned trait. If you want to grow your business and have a powerful network, you must choose and learn to do it on. You know, like, it's a choice. You can't just say, oh, I'm an introvert and then not connect. And I say this, not like to judge anyone. This is me. I'm like, oh, I'm an introvert. Oh, I don't like talking to the person on the airplane seat next to me. Oh, I don't like connecting. Oh, I'm this. Oh, I'm that. Except my life is richer when I am up for the relationship. And that's how David phrased it. He said, are you up for the relationship? And that means, is your body language up for the relationship? Is your attitude up for the relationship? Are you, you know, literally signaling to the world that you were up for the relationship? And when I started doing that, I made more connections, I found more customers. My life became richer because I'm meeting great people and all I had to do was make the choice that my first impression and my body language and networking can be a learned trait.
It's huge, you guys. And you can start really small and it's going to still make a big impact. And you know, Chris and I talk about this all the time on our walks because I swear to you, like, compared to who we were even five years ago, we're the people who you cannot pass us if you have open energy, where we're not going to say something to you, where we're not going to comment on your dog or your shirt or say hello or beautiful evening or whatever it is. And you know, we could complain about having moved a lot in the past few years or the past even 10 years. Yeah, we're movers and that we don't have friends in the area, but we know that it is completely up to us and the more open we are, we could literally right now, we could probably call five different sets of neighbors, if not 10, to go have a cocktail or to go hang out with because we're so open that it happens so fast when you truly make it an intention and get uncomfortable and just start asking questions and fall into conversations and let that happen day after day.
So David Nori was awesome. For that and a million other reasons, Jeff Penster was mind blowing For a million reasons. Like Lori said earlier, you can listen to the, the episode where we literally just played his whole Q and A for you on the episode that came out this week. But here's what struck me, here's what I took away. He was talking about how, you know, he's the founder of Ever Bull, which is an ASAI franchise and they have over 400 locations. How insane is that? And you know, it's this huge, probably almost nine figure company pretty soon. And he's trying to get Ever Bull into the airports, right? So when everyone's in an airport, then they'd stop and they'd get Ever bowl and you know, sales would go through the roof. And there's like this one main company that controls the bulk majority of restaurants that get into airports. And he said that he calls one contact at that company every single Friday. And every single Friday they're like, we have this meeting once a quarter, once a year. We're not near that time yet. Don't worry, Jeff, we know you're calling. Now remember, this is a guy who is a CEO of multiple eight nine figure companies. So it's not like he is in his scrounging groundswell type of stage in the company. This is a guy who's already made it and crushed it. And he still makes that phone call every Friday. Here's what reached me. He said every Friday that they tell me a no. He says back to them, well, I know it's just a no for today and I'll talk to you next week. And he said at this point he jokes with them and it's funny and all that, but he really said, he goes, it's just a no for today and I'll talk to you next week. Have a great weekend. Have a great Friday.
They're like, you don't have to call. And he's like, no, I just wanted to wish you a good weekend. Anyway, he's been doing this for, I think he said over two and a half years. So you guys, every Friday for two and a half years, how bad do you want something? It's like when people say to me, oh, I asked once or twice, twice or three times, I'm like, well, good, you've got, you know, two and a half years left, so. Or more.
Yeah, exactly. So what did I take away from that? That simple phrase, a no is just a no for today. Tomorrow is a brand new day with a brand new set of circumstances and a brand new set of criteria that might radically change that person's perspective on why they need your goods, why they need your services, why they need you in your life. Any other takeaways for you?
I mean, go listen to the podcast.
I love that for sure. Guys, speaking of getting in the room, by the way, I really do agree with Lori. We put together the absolute best rooms in the world to cultivate great idea shares and to cultivate some of the best learning by some of the most awesome figures that we could ever bring in to learn from. And so if you want to get into our elite entrepreneur Mastermind, all you have to do is two things. One, be earning more than $500,000 this year. That's the bare minimum to get in. Even though most everybody is seven and eight figures who gets in the room. And then on top of that, go to Chrishutter, Me Mastermind, and click apply. And I don't want you to second guess your application. I don't want you to think you're not good enough for the room. I don't want you to think, oh, I don't belong. I don't want you to think, oh, I don't have enough value to exchange. Trust me, we will do the best interview ever together. You interviewing me, me interviewing you. And I promise I will tell you, you are a f fit if you're a good fit. You wouldn't believe the awesome human beings that make it into the room each year who once second guessed. Do they belong or is this the right room for them? So here's what I want you to do. If you're going to make more than $500,000 this year, right now, go to Chrishutter me mastermind, fill out the application, and you and I will jump on a zoom together. I will answer all of your questions, and we will see if you are a great fit for the 2025 class where I make one promise, and that promise is this. Everything you need will be in the room that year or one introduction away.
We're so grateful for you guys and we will talk to you next week.
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