You Don't Owe People Their Comfort Zones

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Thanks to Babel for supporting my show. Babel's 15 minute lessons make it the perfect way to really learn a new language on the go right now. Get up to 55% off your subscription when you go to babbel.com Laurie.

If.

You have people in your life who they like you how you are right now. Except you don't like you how you are right now. I hate to break it to you, but they're probably going to have to not be in your life as much because they are valuing a version of you that you don't desire anymore. Hey everyone, welcome back to the show. I want to remind you to get on my daily text list. You. You guys, I am obsessed with sitting down and writing out what is inspiring me right now or what's really like getting me going and getting me up and out the door and doing the thing. I'm telling you, we all need that extra push. So text the word daily to 310-496-8363 so that I can send you messages like this one that I sent yesterday. It says, have you even put yourself out there? If you don't have people who don't like you and let you know about it, are you showing up authentically in your life? If you have haven't had at least one falling out with an old friend or family member? If you change from the person you've been for others into the person you came here to be, you're going to ruffle feathers and relationships will change. It's part of the process. You got this. You guys definitely get on that text list because these are the crazy deep inner thoughts that I'm having that I want to share with you because I know that I can't be alone in them. So today I want to share with you just the process of change. That text message was perfectly Sent out just for what I'm thinking of with everybody who is really going to the next level. It is not easy. It is super challenging. We have to let parts of ourself that are maybe really comfortable parts of ourselves. It's like dying to yourself, right? You have to let those parts die. And it's sad because we're mourning the loss of this thing that even though we are really uncomfortable because we're not at the place that we want to be, it's the part of us that makes us really comfortable. It's just that part that likes to keep us in the same exact place. Or it's the part that is keeping us stuck in the same place. Maybe it's that part of you that's like, eh, those couple glasses of wine each night aren't bad. Like, you convince yourself they're not keeping you stuck, except, you know, you're not sleeping as good as you could be. You know that you're really hitting a wall in the middle of the afternoon. You know that it's just kind of putting that little cloud over your morning. Every single. Trust me, I've been there. I've done this, where I'm like, no, it's not that bad. And then I'm like, okay, let's get really honest with ourselves. What is that part of you that you have totally convinced yourself it's okay, but you know, deep down inside, if you made this one little tweak, that feels impossible. Even though it's very, very possible that you would be operating at such a higher level. You guys, for. I'm just using that example because I have a few of them, but that was one that was so clear to me. Like, I kept getting this message, like, you need to upgrade the operating system. And I knew that that meant that I needed just to, like, cut back on how many days I was having alcohol per week. And I was like, okay, like, it can't be that bad. Like, I'm not having a lot. Like, most days it's just one glass. Or I can stop when I want. I do that whenever. Like, okay, if I want to go a week or two weeks without it, I'm fine. It's not easy, but I'm fine. That first two days, because it's your comfort zone, right? And it's that thing that's comforting you. It's like, all right, I know this is it. And I denied it for a long time because I was like, oh, it just separates my day. I think a lot of us during COVID kind of develop These habits of like separating the day, like, oh, this is the thing that, that takes my workday from my night, whatever that looks like. And for me, I knew it. I just knew it in my soul. I was like, oh God, it's time to, like, do something different. It's time to find a different habit. Foreign, You guys. I went to Spain a while back and my friend speaks perfect Spanish and she also speaks perfect Italian.

Let me tell you how cool it.

Was to go into different restaurants and places and have this woman just like speak to everybody that's in the shops and in the restaurants. I will tell you, it definitely enriches and enhances any experience that you have to be able to communicate in the native tongue. So if you're like me and you regret not learning in school, it's never too late to start with Babel. Babel is the language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions. Thanks to Babel's addictively fun and easy bite sized language lessons, you can finally cross learning the new language off your list. We're all super busy, so I'm sure it feels like a crazy undertaking, but with Babel, you only need 10 minutes to complete a lesson. I mean, you can literally do this while you're getting ready in your bathroom. So you can start having a real life conversation in a new language in as little as three weeks. And I have an idea for you. You can go listen to our episode number 765 about how to make your mornings magical. Start penciling in a quick babble lesson in the morning. It will start jogging your brain for the day and make you feel so good and accomplished.

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Different languages including Spanish, French, Italian and German. I'm currently going through the Italian lessons because we've been on a couple trips to Italy and I'm telling you, I'm obsessed with how beautiful this language is. In addition to lessons, you can access podcasts, games, videos, stories and even live classes. Plus it comes with a 20 day money back guarantee. Start your new language learning journey today with Babel.

Right now.

Get up to 55% off your subscriptions when you go to babbel.comlori that's babbel.comlori for up to 55% off your subscription. Babel is language for life. For me, that's what I've been up to is just kind of going, okay, what's that habit that can replace that? So I knew that whenever I've had to upgrade a habit that I have to Find one to replace what I'm doing. So right now it's like I try to get out on a walk right away and when I come back, I make a mocktail right when I get home. Something that just feels a little bit different. It's not like a water or a sparkling water for me. I like to get like a non elk beer. I like to make something that's like with a non alcoholic gin. I like like a mocktail. I like something that I can make that feels like a ritual. And I think that's kind of what I'm after, is creating a new ritualistic feeling. And this is just something that you have to realize about yourself. That if there was something in that place that was comforting you and you know you're going to need to replace it with something else, you've got to find something that is like a program. Like when this happens, I go and do this. Because if you don't have a plan B where you used to have a plan A, like your plan was actually the wine, right? Or your plan was like Netflix, or your plan was to put your computer away and be done, even though you know that you have work to get done for the night, like you have to do something else. You have to have another trigger. You have to have another habit in place as a backup plan. So when you guys are thinking of installing, actually this is for when you are uninstalling a habit. You have to have a habit that you're going to install in place. So I want to remind you that as you're upgrading, you might need to also change out some people in your life. Ooh, this is a shitty one. This really sucks, doesn't it? Because you might have those people who were really helping you lock in those other habits that were keeping you stuck or held back or smaller, just not liking yourself. Like if you have people in your life who they like you how you are right now, except you don't like you how you are right now. I hate to break it to you, but they're probably going to have to not be in your life as much because they are valuing a version of you that you don't desire anymore. And they might confirm, this is not everyone. Don't get me wrong, this is not everyone. Because if you explain to the right people what you want for you, they're going to support you. But if you explain to the wrong people what you want for you and they want the old you, that you're not going to be supported. So this is also your reminder as you are uninstalling those habits that some of the people who were confirming those habits and reinforcing those habits might also have to be uninstalled along with it. And the easiest way to uninstall people is to install new people, is to spend more time in the places with the people who are reinforcing a better habit. So you don't owe it to anyone to make them comfortable. You don't owe it to people to make sure that they stay in their comfort zones even though you want to do something different. Right? So you don't owe it to anyone to make sure that they are feeling good about themselves and that they're comfortable if not feeling good about themselves is reflected to them because you're trying to love yourself. So they may just not be in that place. It doesn't mean that we need to be rude or tell them what to do or cut them out of our lives immediately. It just means that you need to wean yourself off of the people who are only reinforcing the habits that are making you not like you. This is important. We are not here to make other people like us and live into that version of ourselves. That is not a life well lived. And I know that you know it. And I know that there are a couple things that you're doing that are holding you back from the life you know you're here to live. And it's going to be a much better life lived if you do those things right. I know it because I'm doing it. I am your friend on this journey. Whenever I'm talking about things to you that I'm like, ah, you should do this or that, it's because I want to be doing them. It's because I'm talking to me. It's because I am the person who needs this more than anything. Have you ever heard you teach what you need the most? You can pretty much figure out that I'm probably trying to coach myself through all of this too, because this is a very human experience. I don't care where you are. I don't care what you've achieved. I don't care what you've done. You're going to find yourself at the beginning again. A lot in life, you're going to find that there's so many setbacks in life that can throw you backward. And even though you're going backward, I have to tell you, there's always some sort of forward movement or something that stuck from when you were going forward. So don't forget that Even if you're finding a place where you're like, shit, this is not where I thought I'd be at, at 30 or 40 or 50 or 60. Like there are things that stuck that you had implemented that actually you are forward, but sometimes you have to go backward to figure out what you don't want anymore or who you don't want to be or who you don't want to be around anymore.

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You guys, I'm sending you so much love as you upgrade into your higher self. As you upgrade into the person you came here to be, the person that God sent you here to be, or whatever you believe. I really, really just want you to know that I am your friend on this journey. I am. I am in it right now with you. So sending you guys so much love. If you got anything out of this podcast, I would love if you'd go rate, review or just share on your stories. That means so much to me. It's how podcasts get out there. Truly. It's how we keep showing up to the mic every single week. Sometimes I'm like, how in the hell am I going to come up with something else to say? I have no idea. But I feel like you guys always somehow end up up telling me what to say. So I'm so grateful for you. And until next time, earn your happy. Bye everyone.