10 Things To STOP Doing For Men (He'll Chase You Within 30 Days)

You text him first, you plan the dates, you pay for dinner, you remind him to call his mother, and he still pulls away. Just stop. Breathe. Radiate. Watch what happens. And when you pull your energy back in, you create space. In that space, masculine energy rushes to fill. So here are 10 things to stop doing for men. Not one of them costs you anything. And within 30 days, Watch who steps up. Hey, I'm Brody Boyd with Magnetize Your Man, and for over 20 years combined with my wife Antia, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world to attract a loving, long-term, committed relationship with the man they want without wasting years on heartbreak or unavailable men. Let's dive in. Number 1, stop mothering him. So what is mothering a man? Mothering a man is when you're anticipating his needs, you're anticipating his thoughts, you are doing things for him, you're giving things to him, such as constantly, um, cooking for him when he didn't ask for it, or cleaning up for him, or buying things for him, buying meals, setting up dates, sending him reminders, um, helping him to choose what outfits to wear, etc., you start to treat him like a child, like you're the mother providing for him. You're responsible for his happiness. You're the hero, protector, provider for him, which is actually a masculine role. You've stepped into the masculine and thereby put him even more into the feminine role where he is now the little child. He's the little boy receiving from you. His sense of responsibility goes away. His sense of ownership over the relationship goes away, and ultimately his self-esteem as a man drops, and he starts to feel like he's not. really needed. He's not really respected in the relationship. If anything, he is being disrespected, he is being devalued, and he is being emasculated, feminized in that process. Even if in the moment he might say, oh, this is so nice, thank you. But if it's consistently done where you're the one primarily giving to him and you're mothering him, you'll see over time that he'll start to feel less and less invested in the relationship, less and less attraction for you. and desire and devotion. And ultimately he will probably leave the relationship, unfortunately. So you want to watch out for this, this dynamic overall. If you, if you look at your relationship as a whole right now, are you primarily giving to him or is he primarily giving to you? If you are primarily giving to him, you want to stop the madness. There's an old saying, if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Number 2, stop overruling his decisions. Let's say he makes a decision that you don't agree with. Maybe he wants to go to a certain restaurant and you hate that restaurant. The masculine way of handling this would be say, "Oh no, I hate that place. We're not going there. Let's go to the other one instead." The feminine way would be saying, "May I ask if we can eat at this other restaurant instead? I would really love that." See the difference? One is commanding, one is asking. One is telling him he's wrong. One is simply sharing how you feel, making a respectful request, and asking for his help. Do you think a man is more attracted to his coach or his cheerleader? But you're out. out here acting like his coach oftentimes. You need to do this. You're doing it wrong. Here's how you should do it. Let me manage your life because clearly you can't handle it on your own. When you respect a man, when you trust his leadership, when you appreciate him for that, something magical happens. He wants to then earn your respect even more. He wants to live up to it. He wants to be a better man to be your hero. One of our clients, Stephanie, she was constantly criticizing her man, always correcting him, always telling him how to do things, better, and he was, surprise, surprise, pulling away. And when she started working with us, we taught her about respect. She started saying things like, thank you so much for handling that, I really appreciate you. She started trusting his decisions instead of questioning everything. She started asking for his opinion on things instead of telling him hers. And shockingly, within 3 months, he ended up proposing to her, because when she respected him, he felt like a king. And when a man feels like a king, he treats you like his queen. A man doesn't fall in love with the woman who gives him the most. He falls in love with the woman who he's the most afraid to lose. So stop trying to love him into commitment. Start respecting him. Give him what he craves, and he'll be much more likely to give you what you crave. Number 3, stop planning all the dates. Most women are over-functioning in their relationships, and they do not even know it. You think you are being helpful, You think you are being clear. You think you are being mature in communicating your needs. But what you are actually doing is taking the lead. And when you take the lead, you destroy polarity. And polarity is the force that creates attraction. Let me explain. Masculine energy is about giving, leading, thinking, doing, solving, and focusing on outcomes. Feminine energy is about receiving, following, feeling, being, enjoying, and trusting the process. Attraction happens when those 2 energies are in balance. When a man is in his masculine and you are in your feminine, there's a pull there, there's a tension, there is desire. But when you step into your masculine and start leading, planning, managing, and solving, he steps back. He has to because 2 people cannot lead at the same time. And I see this all the time. A woman will say, Brody, I've been dating this guy for 3 months and he is not stepping up. He's not planning dates. He's not texting me enough. He's not making me feel secure. And I will ask her, okay, so what have you been doing? And she will say, well, I've been checking in with him. I've been planning the dates. I've been bringing up the relationship talk. I've been making sure we stay connected. And then I'll say, okay, so you have been leading. And she will say, well, somebody has to. And that right there is the problem, because when you lead, you take away his opportunity to lead. You take away his chance to feel like a hero. You take away his chance to win you over, and then you resent him for not doing the thing you never gave him the space to do. Number 4, stop texting him novels. You want to avoid texting. If you're texting too much with a man and you have long novels of texting and there's a lot of back and forth, but there's not a lot of in-person or on-the-phone conversations, that's gonna be an issue because the more that you are texting with a man, the more you are reducing his urgency to want to see you in person or to want to talk with you on the phone, which is where most progress happens in a relationship. Progress in a relationship and actually building a foundation and moving a relationship forward does not usually happen over texting. In fact, what we often see with the thousands of women who approach us and join our courses and our programs and our coaching to get help and master their relationships and master magnetic feminine polarity, magnetic feminine communication, Is they have often been doing the opposite, where they are texting so much that the relationship is now in a downward spiral, where there's miscommunication, where there is not a lot of connection, there's not a lot of polarity. Because here's the other thing. A man can't really feel your heart and your vulnerability and your feminine energy and your emotions through texting. He's just looking at numbers and letters on a screen. That's not often going to help a man to feel your vulnerable, open, feminine heart. Your openness, which is so attractive and such a turn-on for a man. And that's not typically going to happen over texting. Yeah, you can have maybe a little bit of flirtiness and checking in with each other, maybe even some sexy banter, photos or whatever you have been sending to guys. But that's not really necessarily going to be that vulnerable energetic connection that'll happen over text. Because it's just hard. Your emotions are primarily communicated through your body language, your body and your Your voice, your voice tone. And if a man can't get that through the texting, through just numbers and letters on a screen, he's not going to be able to feel your feminine energy. And he's likely not going to have that same level of attraction and interest in you. Maybe just to hook up and maybe to have sex, but not from an emotional place of deep devotion and love. Number 5, stop bringing up his past mistakes. To share things like, I love when you did this for me. It made me feel so special. Or, it always makes me feel safe when you open the door for me. Thank you. Or simply just saying thank you with your body, even smiling, glowing at him, giving him a hug potentially, but letting him know when he's done something for you that he did a good job, that he's making you happy in that moment. Or if there's nothing he's done lately, you can bring up old incidences. So you can say, so rather than what a lot of people will do, a lot of women will do in relationships often with a man they're unhappy about, as they will bring up issues from the past that are negative, And bring it into the present and say, you forgot about this just like you forgot about my birthday last year, or that one time that you said this hurtful thing to me. So they'll bring up those things from the past, and that creates a negative association for him that reminds him that he failed in that moment, that he is potentially failing with you as a man. And that makes his masculine self-esteem go down. He feels like he's not good enough, and then he feels ultimately like, it doesn't sound like you need me. Why do you need me? I'm not able to make you happy. Like we should just end this potentially. So as opposed to him feeling, oh yeah, I remember when I did that thing for you that made you feel really good, such as I fixed your, that situation with your, your brother, or I helped you with your car, or I gave you directions to that place when you were lost and you were scared. So you can remind him of those things and he remembers, oh, I was a hero for her once. I have done things that made her happy and I wanna do more of those things 'cause it feels really good to me if he's a healthy man. To want to do that in the future. Number 6, stop putting a timeline on him. You're potentially running your love life now like you're a project manager on a construction site. You've got blueprints, timelines, contingency plans, and you're micromanaging every single text message like NSA engineers launching the Mars rover instead of just being a woman a man actually enjoys spending time with. Now, here's what happens when you try to dictate the outcome. You shift straight into masculine energy. And 2 people in masculine energy trying to run the show? That's like having 2 drivers fighting over the steering wheel at 80 miles per hour. Eventually, someone's going to end up in a ditch. Now, think about this like ballroom dance. The masculine leads with direction and structure. The feminine follows and expresses herself beautifully in the dance. But if she starts yanking his arm, correcting every step, trying to choreograph his moves, the whole thing collapses into chaos. Same thing in your love life when you're fixated on outcomes. I need him to introduce me to his mom by Christmas. I need him to say he loves me by month 3. I need him to post me on Instagram or he doesn't really care about me. When you're obsessed with forcing specific outcomes, you're not in your feminine energy enjoying the journey. You are in masculine energy treating him like a performance review with KPIs and quarterly metrics. And men feel that pressure. Even if you think you're being subtle, he feels the manipulation and it makes him want to run. But when you commit to the process and detach from the outcome, everything shifts. Detaching from the outcome doesn't mean you don't care. It means you're not strangling the relationship with your grip. It means you show up vulnerable, open, respectful, and then you trust him to choose. You trust God's timing. Now here's what this actually looks like. Instead of obsessing over when he'll text you back, you go live your life. You take the West Coast swing class. You call your girlfriend. You finally read that book from 2019. Number 7, stop paying for the dates. Never pay for dates. If you find yourself paying for dates or paying for anything really with a man, again, you are in your masculine energy. You are the provider. You are putting him into the feminine role. You are making him into the feminine in the relationship or the little boy. Because a mother and a child, the mother is actually in the masculine role. The mother is providing for the child. The mother is giving. The mother is helping the child. The mother is making decisions and leading the child. That is a masculine role, which the mother needs to do in order to help the child to survive. But the child will always stay a child as long as the mother is still doing that to the child. Eventually, the child's going to grow up and it will become a man. And in order for that man to be born, you have to stop being the mother. Which means you need to stop providing and you need to stop giving things to him unless he has led you to give you those things, to give him those things, unless he has asked you specifically to give you those things, to give him those things. So even if a man, if a man asks you to pay for the date, you know, in theory you could do it. However, and let's say if this is an exclusive relationship, a committed relationship, however, you need to look at the relationship as a whole. If you are the one primarily giving and primarily providing for him in a variety of different ways, and he's receiving more from you, he's more in the feminine, that's going to be a problem. Because again, that shows you that you're in a depolarized relationship, and the dynamic is going to become such that you're both going to lose attraction for each other, likely at some point. But especially on his end, he's going to start losing attraction, and he's going to be looking outside the relationship to get those needs met. Or just breaking up or just pulling away. So you want to make sure to keep that polarity and keep that attraction in your relationship. And the big way you do that is by not paying for dates and really not doing anything for a man unless he's led you to do it. Number 8, stop impressing him with your resume. We don't care much about your accomplishments, but more about who you are. So I've encountered a lot of women, we've encountered a lot of women who say things like, You know, I always go on dates and men are intimidated by my accomplishments, or I tell them all about my accomplishments at work and they find out who I am and I'm afraid I'm intimidating them. Now the thing is, yeah, your accomplishments are great and we care about, you know, we're happy for you. We're happy that you have those accomplishments, that you've taken charge of your life and you've done those things. The problem is romantically it doesn't really do anything for us. It doesn't really create any juice. Again, we talked about polarity. It doesn't create that feeling of excitement. Ultimately, on a biological level, men don't really care about your accomplishments. And in fact, if you're so much in your masculine, if you're leading with your accomplishments, and if you're competitive, if you're aggressive, if you are the one that is the breadwinner, which is fine, but if you're leading with that, it takes away his ability to be that role, to be your protector, to be your provider, to be in that masculine role. And so it ultimately doesn't really do anything for polarity, for chemistry, for attraction. So again, it's fine if you have those things. Just don't feel like you need to tell him about those things. Don't feel like you need to impress him because ultimately, if anything, it's gonna take away from that attraction. So you want to actually lead with who you are, with your energy, with your femininity, with your ability to be a quality partner in a relationship. That's ultimately what we want and what's gonna make us attractive. Attracted and fall in love with you, not those other things. Number 9, stop saying yes to lazy invitations. So holding a higher standard for what you deserve, what you want in a relationship, even just on a date or in a casual connection with a guy, you have to have certain standards of what you're willing to accept. And if a man isn't meeting those standards, you just pretty much ignore him, ignore the communication until he meets those standards, or you communicate what your standards are And tell him what he needs to do basically to meet that, that you're not going to accept anything less. And if he can't meet those standards, you're gone essentially. So one of the things that my wife did early on when we were dating is I would send out these texts to her that would say like, hey, I'm going to the museum on Saturday. I'm going to this party on Thursday. And I would just kind of throw it out there. And it was kind of my casual way of inviting her to things. And she often would not even respond to those things. And then later I would ask her like, why didn't you come to my, you know, when I invited you to this thing? She's like, you didn't invite me. I'm like, yeah, I did. She's like, no, you just told me what you were doing. And I'm like, okay, yeah, I guess I could have been a little more clear. So she was holding a standard that she would only respond to clear communication basically, or direct communication, not some of this wishy-washy like, oh hey, I'm doing this, you know, come on, it's too casual, you know, that kind of approach. So that was one of the things that endeared me to her actually, because it showed that she was valuing herself and she wasn't just going to accept Kind of like my scraps or breadcrumbs, but she wanted a real, real communication, real initiation from me. Number 10, stop making excuses for him. Now, you're likely out there with a paintbrush turning red flags into what we call quirks, or he's just going through a hard time, or he's emotionally unavailable because his ex hurt him, and once I just love him enough, he'll heal like we're in a Nicholas Sparks novel. No. He's emotionally unavailable because he's emotionally unavailable. Period. The end. Here's what painting the red flags green actually looks like. He tells you, I'm not ready for a relationship, but keeps texting you at midnight. And you think, well, if I'm just patient enough and fun enough, maybe he'll change his mind. Or he's still living with his wife but swears he's leaving her soon. And you think, our connection is so special. Surely this time it's different. Or you're double texting and triple texting him so much you're basically having a conversation with yourself. You might as well start a group chat with you, yourself, and your anxious attachment style and just have a party there. Here's what I need you to hear: you're not his therapist, you're not his mother, you're not his emotional support animal. And if you keep trying to be, you'll waste years waiting for a man to become someone he never will. One of our clients, Linda, spent years with a guy who made promises but never kept them. We'll move to this city. I'll do this thing. Always talk, never action. She finally learned what we teach in our programs and used our Magnetic Feminine 90-Day Challenge. She did that and observed his action over 90 days, not his words, because words are cheap. A man can say, I love you, while treating you like background scenery. His actions over time, that's the truth. That's like that Scooby-Doo moment where you pull off his mask and see who he really is. She's now celebrating 8 years married to a man who keeps his word and treats her like the priority that she always was. At the end of the day, understand we're all learning and growing. Give yourself grace in this process, but also give yourself standards. You're not being too needy because you want someone who's consistent, kind, respectful, and emotionally available. Those are completely valid needs. And if you want personalized guidance on exactly what to do with the specific man you have in mind right now, I invite you to take our free love quiz. In just a few minutes, you'll get your personalized top recommendation for getting the relationship you desire. Just head over to our website, magnetizeyourman.com, or click the link in the description or comments below to get that now. Thank you so much for watching and subscribing. We're praying for you to get the relationship that you most desire with this, and I'll talk to you more very soon.