13 Things Men SECRETLY Wish Women Understood

You know that feeling when he starts to pull away, he goes quiet, he stops trying, and you lie awake at night wondering what you did wrong. So I've been doing this for over a decade and I'm tired of watching amazing women make the same painful mistakes over and over again. The real reasons a man pulls away has nothing to do with how pretty you are or how much you do for him. They come down to a handful of harsh truths about men. So stick with me because by the end of this video, you'll know exactly what makes a man choose you and only you for the rest of his life. I'm Brody Boyd, and together with my wife, Antia, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world for over 20 years combined to get a loving, long-term, and committed relationship with a man they want fast. So let's dive in. Truth number 1: He's not confused. He's just not that into you. Women come to me and say, "Brody, I've been with him for 2 years. He still won't commit. He says he loves me, but he's not putting any effort into our relationship, and he still talks to his ex. What should I do?" And I ask, "Have you been vulnerable? Have you shared your feelings using Magnetic Feminine Communication? Have you been in your Magnetic Feminine Polarity?" And sometimes they'll say, "Yes, I've done all of that. I've done everything. I've been feminine. I've shared my feelings." And I say, "And what did he do?" And sometimes they'll say, Nothing. He said he needs more time. He says he has personal issues he's working through. And here's my answer then, if that's the case, he's not going to change. Not with you, not now. He's showing you exactly who he is. Believe him and walk away before you waste another 5 years of your precious life. Truth number 2, he wants to be your hero, not your project. So many women fall in love with a man's potential. You see the fixer-upper and think, I can turn him into a palace. You start managing him, correcting him, mothering him, and you kill his spirit and any attraction he had for you. A man doesn't want another mother. He already has one. He wants to be your hero. He wants to solve your problems, but you have to let him. You have to share your feelings vulnerably, not your criticisms. You give him a problem to solve. It sounds something like this. May I share something? "I feel a little scared about this situation at work and I'm not sure what to do." You're not telling him how to fix it. You're inviting him to step up and be the man for you. I remember when Antia and I were dating. I'm not perfect, I'd mess up, but instead of attacking me, she'd get vulnerable and let me know how it made her feel. It made me want to move mountains to make things better. It made me want to be her hero. Are you hearing me with this? This isn't build a boyfriend. This is about letting him be the man for you. Be your boyfriend, letting him be a man. If he's the right one, he'll show up. Truth number 3, he's starving for your appreciation. It's letting him know how he is making a difference in your life specifically, primarily through your feelings, through your emotions. How does he make you feel? Does he make you feel good? Does he make you feel happy? Does he make you feel grateful? Does he make you feel safe, comfortable, relaxed? Confident. So letting him know those emotions that he brings up within you is a great way to share your appreciation with him and thank him for those things that he has done for you, those things that he has done for you in the past, that he's doing for you now. And you could also appreciate him for the man he is, the traits about him that actually do make you feel good, make you feel happy, make you feel safe. Letting him know about those things is a great step forward to allow him to feel valued in the relationship to allow him to feel like he has a path to win, that he can make you happy, and he's gonna want to do more and more of those things for you. Truth number 4, making his life easier won't make him value you. A lot of women think, if I just make his life easier, he will value me more. Not likely. That causes about as much devotion in a man as a comfortable set of furniture. Appreciation is different. Appreciation lets him feel feel the impact of his effort with you. It rewards his masculinity. So instead of just saying thanks when he does something for you, or not saying anything at all, let him know how it made you feel and the impact it had on you. That's powerful. That's feminine because authentic appreciation done well doesn't inflate his ego in some fake way. It awakens his desire to keep showing up for you. The feminine energy behind this is like his sexy cheerleader, not his coach. Mm-hmm. Not his probation officer, not his project manager, not his angry life mentor with perfume on. Because the second you become his coach, accountant, therapist, meal planner, and personal assistant podcast, romance starts looking less and less like chemistry and more like a group project where you did all the work yourself. Here's a simple truth with this: if a man pours water into a cup with no bottom in it, he eventually stops pouring. Truth number 5: respect is the air he breathes. Women desire to be loved. Men desire to be respected. Feminine energy is about being cherished, being adored. Masculine energy is about being respected, being admired, and having a sense of value that he's bringing to the relationship. That's one big way how men and women are wired differently. And the beauty of this is because we're wired differently in this sense, we We create polarity. Polarity is what creates attraction, chemistry, love, devotion in a relationship long-term. It's those differences in energy. Opposite energies attract. That's what the Law of Polarity states. So if you can bring in more of this feminine energy, more of this feminine juice to the relationship, the masculine energy is activated within your man, which will draw him closer to you. How do you do this? By respecting and— admiring him. Now you might be saying, "Well, right now with my man, there's not really anything I respect or admire about him," which would be pretty sad. And I would ask you that question, why are you with this man? If you don't respect him, if you don't admire him, why are you even interested in him? Truth number 6, he longs for your feminine energy more than sex. Again, feminine energy attracts masculine energy. So the more a man is connected to his masculine instincts and his masculine core, the more he's going to be drawn to feminine energy. And he's going to crave that feminine energy in his life. He's going to look for that escape. He's going to look for that difference, that pleasure, that bliss that can come from being around femininity. So if you can bring that energy into the relationship, that's going to be a huge value for him, a huge source of something that he loves to have in his life more than sex. So how can you bring this feminine energy into the relationship? Well, your feminine energy comes from your heart.— it comes from your vulnerability and your feelings. So when you could share your feelings with a man, when you can be open and vulnerable and actually feel what's in your body and express those feelings in a responsible and respectful way, your man can feel connected to that feminine energy. He can start to feel that difference, that polarity, and that becomes exciting to him and a turn-on. So the more you can practice vulnerability, sharing your feelings, using Magnetic Feminine AI Coach communication that will teach you how to share how you're feeling in the proper way and communicate issues and problems and navigate situations in your relationship that bring him closer to you, then he's gonna feel really great. Truth number 7, the moment you chase, he stops pursuing. Who is doing the initiating? Not once, not on a good week, I mean consistently over time. Who texts first? Who plans the dates? Who moves this thing forward? Who is behind the wheel here? Because one of the deepest principles of masculine and feminine polarity is this: the masculine initiates, the feminine receives. The masculine hunts, the feminine attracts. You are the flower, he is the bee. And here's the thing about flowers: a flower doesn't sprint through the garden chasing the bee with a butterfly net screaming, "Why won't you pollinate me?" The flower opens up. The flower radiates its full beauty. The flower becomes completely irresistible. And the bee, he comes to you. He's always going to come to you. That is his design. Now think about James Bond for a second. Has he ever in any single one of those films sat at home on his couch waiting for the villain to come knock on his door? No. He gets in the car, he books the flight, he shows up, he handles it. That is masculine energy in its pure form. It moves forward when it feels that pull, when it feels that desire, when it feels that intention. Truth number 8, when he stops feeling needed, he pulls away. Women tend to feel happiness by knowing that they're loved, knowing that they're safe, having fun things to do, having activities and connections and relationships in their lives. Men feel happiness primarily through knowing that they have a purpose that they're serving in the world, that they have a mission that they are serving, that they are being a hero, that they're making the world a better place. At least for the people close to them in their life. They need to know that they're needed and that they are valued and that they can provide that service to the world. If a man doesn't feel like he's needed, if he doesn't feel like he has a purpose in the relationship or in his life, he's going to become depressed over time. He's not going to feel like a man. He's not going to feel like he's activated his masculine core, and he's going to start shutting down. He's going to start pulling away. He's going to start becoming a shell of a man. Mm-hmm. So it's very important that you help your man to develop this purpose and meaning. You can't do it for him, and never do you want to be his therapist or his mommy, 'cause that's only gonna push him further away, make him feel more disrespected and more like a child. However, what you can do is allow him to have a purpose in the relationship. Truth number 9, if he doesn't reach, he won't revere. If he doesn't reach, he won't revere. If he doesn't invest,— he won't value. If he doesn't move, he won't bond in the same way. Now, that doesn't mean you play games with him. It means you watch the trajectory. This is why we have our Magnetic Feminine 90-Day Challenge. If you use healthy feminine communication, healthy feminine polarity, real vulnerability, real appreciation, real self-respect, and over 90 days he still shows no real movement, no growing care for your heart, no consistent effort, no positive trajectory, then you don't keep celebrating bare minimum effort like he just cured polio. You set a boundary with yourself, not with him. That means you decide, I'm not available for this forever. I'm not going to keep bleeding devotion into a man who keeps offering me only breadcrumbs and a good jawline. This is something my wife and I see all the time. The issue is often not that a woman doesn't know what she wants, it's that she keeps overriding what she knows because she's attached to the man instead of anchored to her value. Healthy feminine submission to a man is not, I'll do whatever you say because I'm scared to lose you. Healthy feminine submission is I'll happily follow your lead as long as it feels good to me and is good for me. Truth number 10, he needs his space. It's not about you. Here's what you need to understand about masculine energy. Men need time to be alone. It's not personal, it's biological. Back in caveman times, men would go out to hunt for days, sometimes weeks. They'd be alone with their thoughts, processing, strategizing, recharging. Usually they only talked to other men through hand signals or they didn't talk at all. That's how masculine operates. Your man still needs that bear cave. He needs some space occasionally to just breathe without needing to explain himself or manage anyone else's emotions. But here's where feminine communication changes everything. Instead of making it mean something about you, instead of attacking him with, "You never wanna spend time with me anymore," you share your feelings with him vulnerably. To make sure you're not penetrating him energetically, you first start with something like this, "May I share something with you?" Then once he responds, you share, I'm noticing I'm feeling some loneliness. When you came home and went straight to the couch, a part of me told myself a story that maybe you didn't want to be around me. See what that does? You're sharing your raw emotion without blaming him. You're being vulnerable without being accusatory. You're giving him space to be the hero who solves the problems when he's able to, instead of being the villain who caused it. And more than likely, he's going to say, oh babe, no, I just had a brutal day at work. I just needed to decompress for a few minutes. Come here. And suddenly what could have been a 3-hour fight is resolved in 3 minutes. Truth number 11: He falls for your heart, not your Instagram. You perform, you put on a mask, you pretend to be the chill girl who doesn't have needs. You act like you're perfectly fine when inside you're dying. Basically, you're auditioning for the role of wife when he hasn't even cast you as girlfriend yet. Remember Madonna's song "Material Girl"? Where you're being performance girl, all flash, no substance, all show, no soul. And here's the tragedy: in trying to be perfect enough to be loved, you make it impossible for him to actually love you because he's not loving you. He's loving the performance. He's loving the Instagram highlight reel, and you know it. Which is why even when he says, "I love you," it doesn't land in your soul because you know he doesn't really know you. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, Your beauty should not come from outward adornment. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle spirit. God didn't design you to be perfect. He designed you to be real, to be vulnerable, to be authentically, beautifully, messily human. And here's what's wild. Men don't actually want perfect. They want real. Truth number 12, where he puts his time is where his heart really is. Men value what they invest in. That's it. That's the whole thing. Matthew 6:21 puts it perfectly. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. A man's time is his treasure. His focused energy is his treasure. His resources are treasure. Wherever he is consistently pouring those things, that is where his heart actually lives, not where he says it lives, where he actually puts his time and energy. So ask yourself this honestly: is he carving out real intentional time for you? Not leftover time, Not you happen to fit into the gap between the gym and his Call of Duty session time. Actual I planned this time, I made this happen for you time. Is he mentally present when he's with you? Because a man can be physically sitting across from you at dinner while his mind is already home on a couch checking scores. Presence is not just proximity. And yes, resources matter, but he doesn't need to be wealthy to show investment. He needs to be willing. There's a profound difference between a man who can't invest and a man who simply won't. One finds creative ways to show you that you matter. The other one treats you like the complimentary hotel breakfast, shows up every morning, piles up his plate, then disappears the moment checkout time comes around. Truth number 13: You were never designed to earn a good man. Hey, I love you, but I love myself more, and I can't stay in a relationship where my heart isn't cherished. That's feminine power. That's self-respect wrapped in a soft package. And you know what often happens? When you truly let go, when you detach and start moving on with your life, one of two things happens. Either he wakes up, realizes what he's losing, and steps up, or you realize you don't even want him anymore because you've discovered your own worth. Either way, you win. Proverbs 31 describes the virtuous woman. She's strong, she's wise, she's capable, but she's also soft. She's nurturing, she's feminine, and her husband praises her. He rises up and calls her blessed. That's the kind of man you deserve. Not a man that you have to drag kicking and screaming into a relationship like you're his parole officer, but a man who sees your value, pursues you, and can't imagine his life without you in it. And if you want personalized guidance on exactly what to do with this specific man you have in mind right now, I invite you to take our free love quiz. In just a few minutes, you'll get your personalized top recommendation for getting the relationship you desire. Just head over to our website, magnetizeyourman.com, or click the link in the description or comments below to get that now. Thank you so much for watching and subscribing. We're praying for you to get the relationship that you most desire with this, and I'll talk to you more very soon.