7 Bedroom Phrases That Instantly Turn Men Off

A man hates to hear these seven things in bed. Now, some of them you may realize that you're saying you maybe just didn't realize that he didn't like to hear them. And some of them you may not even realize that you do. So I'm going to talk about what they are and why men hate to hear them. I'm Kevin Anthony for Magnetize youe man. And I am a certified sexologist, NLP practitioner, and sex, love and relationship coach. And for over a decade, I have been helping men, women and couples help have the relationship of their dreams and the best sex of their lives. Okay, here we go. Number seven, you always do that, right? So let's say you are having sex and he does something that maybe you don't like or you've asked him not to do at some point in the past, and you fire a response with, you always do that. And he's like, what I always do? Well, what's the problem? Oh, I. You know, so something that he definitely doesn't want to hear. Remember, there are always better ways to phrase things. Instead of saying, you always do that, you could say something along the lines of, that's not working for me today. Could we please try something else? Or that's not working for me today. I would love it if you try this. So finding more softer ways to say that whatever he's doing isn't working for you is always the better way to go. Number six is, why don't you ever. Why don't you ever go down on me? Why don't you ever do this position? Why don't you ever do that? Right? This, of course, is complaining, and it is a huge turn off for men. It's definitely something that he doesn't want to hear. Instead of saying, why don't you ever, of course you could say, could you please? Or I love it when you do, right? So what you don't want to do is be in that complaining space. It is an absolute, like, moment, energy, killer, right? So when you do that in the middle of, you know, love making, it just sucks the energy out of the room. And it's just. It's something that really does not make for. For loving, connected sex where you want to be with each other, right? It doesn't necessarily mean he'll stop what he's doing because he's probably just trying to do his best, but it's definitely gonna impact the connection between the two of you and could potentially impact the entire sexual encounter itself. Number five, you're not doing it right Again, this comes into the sort of complaining category, right? Like, no, you're not doing it. Opposed to saying something more along the lines of, again, that's not working for me right now, could you please try it this way? Or, you know, I really love it when you do it this way. Very rarely in sex is there something that is necessarily wrong, per se. It's just what we like, what we don't like, what works for us, what doesn't work for us. So rather than, again, complaining that, oh, you are doing it wrong, which, again, is a major buzz kill, it's just. It's like a dagger to the heart to us when we are really genuinely, most of the time, trying to do our best. It just absolutely kills the moment. So always pause. Whether it's, you know, you always do that, you don't ever do this, you're not doing it correctly, or you're doing it wrong. Whenever any of those thoughts sort of arise in your mind in that moment, pause, pause for a moment, right? And then think about a better way to phrase it that doesn't kill the mood, that doesn't blame him in some way or, you know, hurt his confidence or make him angry, right? Because that's basically creating the opposite of what you're trying to do. Through lovemaking, through lovemaking, you want to connect, right? You want to go deeper. You want to share a beautiful moment and experience. And that type of behavior will actually take you in the opposite direction of where you want to go. Number four is, why did you come so quickly? I wasn't finished yet. Now, this may be a valid complaint in a sense that, you know, if your man isn't skilled and he doesn't know how to control his ejaculation, then there could potentially be a problem that there where, you know, you weren't able to reach your orgasm, and it seems like it was just over way too fast. So I do understand that. However, the way you respond to it is not helping the situation. Most likely what's going on here is he knows that he wasn't able to last long enough. He most likely knows that he's not satisfying you as good as you would like or as even he would like. So he's probably already feeling a little guilt and a little shame over not being able to do that. And so by responding in that way, you are just reinforcing that. And what you're doing is you're putting more guilt and more shame on him, which is negatively impacting his confidence in the bedroom and his performance. It may even be impacting his ability to achieve an erection. So this is something that a lot of men deal with, which is, you know, what we call performance anxiety. Performance anxiety can come about for a lot of reasons, but one of which is anxiety around, am I going to be able to actually last long enough? Like, that's one of the biggest concerns that men have. So when you react in a way like, why did you come so quickly? Like, I wasn't ready yet, or I wasn't done yet, you're reinforcing that negative pattern. Instead, what you really want to do is, is be more compassionate about it and be like, okay, first of all, you know, let's see how else I can get my needs met. So in other words, he comes too quickly. You can say, all right, well, could you go down on me? Or could you use your fingers on me? Or let's get the vibrator right and keep him engaged and still pleasuring you. That's the best thing to do in the moment. After you're done having sex or maybe waiting till the next day or later in the evening or whatever it is, you know, have a conversation about, you know, I would really love for us to be able to get to that place where we can both have, you know, a simultaneous orgasm, or you can take me through multiple waves of orgasm without ejaculating. How can we work together to make that happen? So you want to let him know that you're not mad at him for it and that you're willing to support him through this journey and figure out ways that work for both of you so that you can get there. Because ultimately, if you do that, the sex will be so much better for both of you. It's not just about you and whether or not the sex is better for you, but let him know that he will actually get more benefit from it, too. He will have, you know, a more powerful orgasm. When he does choose to ejaculate, he might have, you know, multiple orgasms, multiple male orgasms. He's going to feel like a superman because he was able to please you and make you come hard, right? So it's really in both of your best interests to be able to solve that problem together. So you don't want to have a negative reaction that reinforces the negative behavior. You want to try to have a really positive reaction and help reinforce the behavior that you actually want. And by the way, if your man does ejaculate too quickly, then please go check out my website@kevanandsaline.com linkinbio if you go there, you can, of course, find all the things that I'm up to. My YouTube channel, my podcast, my coaching programs, and my men's programs, my online programs for men, for sexual mastery. It's all right there. And hey, while you're already in your browser, make sure that you go check out our free polarity quiz@polarityquiz.com. all right, number three is, are you finished yet? So if you have to be asking if he is finished yet or not, that obviously means that you're not happy with the sex that is occurring. And so, you know, this is one of the reasons why men don't like to hear this in bed, is because that's exactly what it says to us. If you're in that place where you just want us to hurry up and come and be done with it so that you can get out of there and be over with it, it means that you're not into having sex with us. And as I've talked about in previous videos, you know, one of the things that we think is really bad sex as men is when she's not into it. Now, I know some of you who are watching this are going to be like, well, if he would just be better at it, we would be into it. I agree totally. But as long as he's trying, as long as he's doing his best, as long as he's not absolutely terrible at it, this can be actually quite a crushing blow to a man's confidence in the bedroom if all you're worried about is how quickly he can be done. Number two, this is the classic, not tonight, honey, I have a headache. Now, there may be some legit times where you actually do have a headache or you feel bloated, whatever, you're not feeling well, and you're just not up to it. But the idea here is, you know, we're in the bedroom, we're potentially naked in the bed already, and he's wanting to, you know, be physical and be intimate with you, and he gets the brush off, not tonight, honey, I have a headache. No man actually wants to hear that. And honestly, if you use the sort of headache thing, it's so cliche at this point that he's instantly going to know that you don't have a headache and that really you just don't want to have sex with him. So rather than that, you know, it would be better to maybe explain why it is that you are not in the mood or willing. And if you're not in the mood, ask yourself, this could you potentially be in the mood, right? If he was willing to put in a little effort to get you there. Because if the answer to that is yes, you might be able to request that, and you might be able to say, you know, I'm really not in the mood, but if you're willing to take some time and start slowly, you might be able to get me there. Right? There's nothing wrong in asking for that. And the number one thing that men hate hearing in bed is it's so small. I couldn't resist. I had to put that one on the list. Obviously, no man wants to hear that their penis is small. It is pretty crushing to the ego to hear that most men have insecurity around the size of their penis, even when their penis is absolutely perfectly sized. I work with a lot of men around their sexuality, and it is a common thing that I often hear that they think that their penis is actually small. And what's interesting is, is, you know, if you ask them, well, how big is it? I haven't had a guy yet tell me that their penis was under five inches. Well, do you know what the average length of a male penis is? 5 inches. That means average. Half the people are smaller than that. Half the people are larger than that. So for most men, they are. Well, at least half of the men, they are perfectly adequately sized. And yet many of them, unless they have an abnormally large penis, think that their penis isn't big enough. And so any sort of allusions to it not being the right size is going to reinforce that insecurity that they already have. And it's really not a healthy thing. Now, I'm not telling you that you have to lie to him and say, oh, my God, it's the biggest penis I've ever seen or the biggest penis I've ever had, or you feel me better than any man ever. Like, you don't have to go to those lengths because if he knows he's not that big and you say those things, he's just not going to believe you. He knows that you're lying. So you don't need to do that. Just don't make any negative comments or just say, it's the perfect size for me, or it works great for me, anything like that, but just don't comment it on it being not big enough in any way.