7 Things That Quietly Kill a Man's Respect for You

Have you ever found yourself wondering what comes first with a man? Does he lose respect for you and then fall out of love, or does he fall out of love first and then his respect disappears? Here's what you may be focused on: how to be more attractive, more desirable, more exciting, more beautiful. But the brutal truth is this: it's not attraction that keeps a man devoted, committed, and in love with you for the long term. It's also him valuing you. And once a man's perception of you shifts, Once his value for you drops, everything about how he treats you completely changes. So today we're gonna talk about the subtle behaviors that quietly make him value you less, even when he still may like you or even love you. I'm Brody Boyd with Magnetize Your Man, and today I'm walking you through 7 things that quietly kill a man's perception of value for you. And once you know what they are and you start shifting your energy, you'll stop lowering your value in his eyes and start showing up as the woman he deeply needs. Number 1, accepting his low effort in silence. Look, I see this constantly. He cancels plans, he doesn't text back for days, he shows up late with some lame excuse about needing to wash his pet hamster's hair, and you, you say nothing. You tell yourself, I don't want to be needy, I don't want to be too much. But here's what's happening. When you accept repeated low-effort behavior from him, you're training him that effort is optional. And from a man's perspective, when there's no consequences, there's no urgency. Now, I'm not saying you need to attack him or turn into his debt collector calling about emotional payments that are overdue with interest. I'm saying you speak up vulnerably using magnetic feminine communication. One of my clients was dating a new man early on. He would sometimes go quiet for days, and the old version of her would have spiraled out analyzing his text response times like she was cracking the nuclear launch codes. But instead, she texted him, may I share something with you? He said, sure. She wrote, I feel anxious. And then she waited and he asked why. She responded, when I didn't hear from you for a few days, I told myself a story that I'm not a priority to you and I'm not sure what to do. You know what happened? He drove to her house that night, they had a real conversation, and everything shifted. Not because she demanded change, but because she shared her real heart with him. When you stay silent, you're telling him your feelings don't matter, and that quietly kills his respect faster than anything else. Number 2, interrupting him. So the next powerful principle here is to listen to him without interrupting. Again, when you're highly triggered, this is where some of the other principles here come into play. It's very likely, it's very easy to start to become disrespectful towards a man, which is the number one thing that will push a man away, a masculine man away. Masculine men are allergic to disrespect because it is fundamentally Attacking their masculine core. It is saying they are not good enough, they are weak, they are incompetent, and they can't really be your man. They can't really be your hero, which eventually over time, if a man is disrespected enough, he will become a depressed shell of a man and he will likely leave that relationship or just say, look, look, I can't make you happy, you need to go elsewhere. And that's, that's how it can, it can come out. It can also come out in different forms of arguments, and he might get angry, he might get defensive. He could just leave you right there. But that's one of the biggest things to look out for is disrespect in a relationship. And one of the things that is disrespectful that a lot of women don't realize is interrupting him when he's trying to get his point across, when he's trying to share something with you, share his perspective. And if you find that you're penetrating him energetically with your words and cutting him off and trying to get your perspective in before you fully heard him, that's going to feel like, for one, that you're in your masculine, you're putting him into the feminine energy. That's gonna kill polarity. That's gonna kill attraction in that moment. Secondly, you're disrespecting him. So you're saying, I don't really value your opinion. I don't value what you have to say. But thirdly, it is going to not allow you to actually understand what's going on for him so that you can help. Stephen Covey had a great— not that you can help, but that you can energetically receive him. Stephen Covey had a great saying, which is seek first to understand before seeking to be understood. And so you want to hear him out fully before You start to share your perspective, which he's probably going to ask for as well, depending on the situation. Number 3, sharing his struggles with others. This could involve a lot of women in our modern times. A lot of people like to post things on Instagram, Facebook, X, these kind of platforms. They like to share very intimate details about their life. And that's okay. It's actually okay for you to share your own vulnerabilities and share struggles that you're going through. But if you're implicating your man in your struggles when you're posting about something, or you're sharing photos about some kind of struggle you're going through, or being open about something, some issue that you're dealing with, if you're implicating your man in that, or specifically mentioning something about him that he's struggling with, or some problem that he's having, or an issue that's happening even between the two of you in your relationship, That could also potentially be deeply disrespectful towards him. He can feel deeply disrespected by that unless he's given you explicit, specific consent to share those things. Like if you've asked respectfully and say, hey babe, is it okay if I share this on my Instagram? Or if I share this with my friends or with my family? Because it's not just about social media. It's also about the conversations you're having with girlfriends, with family, with friends. Because Worst case is that can get back to him, that he finds out that that was shared, and then he's gonna feel even betrayed potentially, but at least, at the very least, disrespected in some form, likely. And especially if that's shared publicly with social media, that can be very unsettling to his masculine core because he can feel that that is a breach of privacy, that is a breach of his bubble that he has with you. And also it can feel to him like he's being publicly shamed in some sense, that he's a failure as a man, that he's made this mistake. Or that he, him and you are having this issue that he's not capable of solving, and he's going to feel likely pretty bad about that. Number four, acting like he owes you. So here's the thing: when a man feels that you are coming from a place of obligation, that you are seeing his provision, his gifts to you as something that he owes you, that he should just give it to you because that's what you deserve, that's what he is. That's what you are entitled to from him. Whenever you are feeling this towards a man or acting in this way, you're going to start pushing him away because then it becomes him being your slave. Then it becomes him being your little child and you being like the mother telling him what he has to do, that he has to pick up his toys, that he has to spend time with you, that he has to go with you to the grocery store. Well, him as a free man, as an empowered man, which you want your man to be, He's going to have a choice, a choice from his free will to give to you, to make you happy or not. And to allow him that freedom, to allow him that choice is going to make him feel empowered. And it's going to make his gifts to you feel like something precious that he's able to be the hero. He's able to do it on his own free will. And that makes him see you in a much different light. That makes him see you as the woman that he gets to give to. Not that he has to give to. It's much— it's a much different perspective. It's similar to how if you have a job and if you're going to that job and you're saying, oh, I have to go to work today, I need to go to work, I'm obligated to go to work because I have to show up or I will get fired, I have to pay my bills, rather than I get to go to work today, I am excited to go to work today, I want to go to work because I get to make a difference, I get to provide, I get to Make a difference for the people in my life and put a roof over their head and put food on the table, etc., etc. And that is exciting to me. That's the kind of energy you want your man to have. Not that you are work or that you are a job, but you're another opportunity for him to give his gifts, for him to be of service, for him to provide. And so you want him to feel like he gets to give to you rather than he has to give to you. Number five: labeling him. Labeling him with negative characteristic traits like being arrogant or insensitive or narcissistic. Or misogynistic, or whatever the label might be that you may feel that you want to give him. Or even saying things that may be softer, like you're an avoidant attachment style, or you're emotionally unavailable. So anytime you're giving a man a label, it's very dangerous because what you're doing is you're actually putting it on him. You're speaking words over him that he's going to start to again start living into. Likely he's going to be Assuming that label. Because if you see that about him, then— and you're a woman who's known him probably more than other women and knows more intimate parts of him than other women— then he must be that. If you know him enough that you're saying you're arrogant, you're an arrogant man, or you're an insensitive man, or you're a narcissist, or whatever, he's gonna say, oh, she must be right. Like, she knows me best, she must be right. Okay, I guess I am that. All right, well, I guess I'm just gonna I guess I must accept my fate that I am a narcissist, or I am an arrogant man, or I'm an insensitive man, or I don't care about her, I don't care about women, whatever. And again, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy in that where he starts to be that more for you in the negative sense. Number 6, bringing boss mode home. Look, you may spend all day at work being the boss, leading meetings, solving problems, directing people even. That's your masculine energy, and that's great for your career. But when you bring that energy home, You're killing the polarity. Masculine energy is about doing. Feminine energy is about being. At work, you get to be the protector, provider, leader, but in romance, those are his job. When you're telling him what to do, criticizing him, solving the problems yourself, you're creating competition, not attraction. Think about the sperm and the egg. They don't compete with each other. They complement each other. The sperm chases, the egg attracts. The sperm penetrates, the egg receives. That's biology, and that's what creates life. My wife, Antia, and I have been married for 11 years, and when we first got together, she'd leave her office after helping women all day, still in helper mode, trying to fix, coach me. And I could feel it. I could feel like she was treating me like a client, not her man. Once we became more aware of these dynamics, when she got off of work, she would literally change out of her work clothes, change into something soft, Take a bath, get into her body, whatever it took to shift her energy, because now there was space for me to lead and be more in my masculine and for her to receive at home. So when you come home from work, create a transition ritual. Maybe it's putting on a dress instead of your Hillary Clinton pantsuit. Maybe it's doing some Jazzercise or pole dancing to get you into your body. Maybe it's lighting some soft candles, putting on a bubble bath, and playing some Kenny G. Whatever it takes to help you to shift from masculine into your femme. Because when you show up soft, open, receptive, vulnerable, expressive, playful, That's when he can lead. That's when polarity happens. And that's when he values that connection the most. Number 7, settling below your standards. Now, if you're finding yourself chasing a man or being desperate, you're probably also slowly lowering your standards for yourself first and foremost. What behaviors are you accepting from yourself? Are you sacrificing yourself? Are you getting desperate? Are you doing things that you, you wouldn't normally do? Making sacrifices as far as your own desires, putting yourself to the side in exchange for other people. So you have to make sure you're raising your standards and also your standards with men. Maybe he isn't the right guy for you. Maybe he's actually pulling you into your lower self, and you don't want to use that as a cop-out that oh, he's just a bad, he's just an asshole. I just you know it's not a good fit. It's not going to work. And then you just continually do that with every guy because oftentimes the common denominator is the person that's continually experiencing that behavior, likely, which is you in this case, would be if you're having a man who's not giving you what you want. So you want to look at where are those standards that you've sold yourself short on? How can you raise those standards? How can you say this is the bare minimum I accept in a relationship, and if I'm not having that, it's not the relationship for me? Yeah, you want to be reasonable, With those standards, but you got to have them and you got to keep them. Don't sell out on yourself because then the man is not going to be able to respect you. And you're also not going to attract what you want because you're continually settling for less. And quality men will probably see that you're settling for less and be like, why would I settle for you? You seem to be not valuing yourself very much. You may seem to be not valuing your life very much. Why should I be with someone like that? I want somebody who's actually the The value I wanna have, meeting my standards. And a bonus, the thing that earns his respect back, boundaries with yourself. Setting boundaries with yourself means you decide what you'll accept. And if he crosses that line, you don't lecture him, you don't punish him, you simply remove yourself. Your love, your time, your body, your heart, those are your pearls. Those are priceless. And you don't throw pearls to people who trample them. A boundary with yourself sounds like this. I can't stay in a relationship where I don't feel cherished and prioritized. That's a standard you hold for yourself. Not this: you need to cherish me and prioritize me or I'm breaking up with you. That's setting an ultimatum. That's trying to force him. See the difference? One honors you, the other tries to control him through punishment. And you can't force a man to value you. He either does or he doesn't. Let me tell you about Stephanie, one of our clients. And she was dating a guy who kept canceling plans last minute every week. Same pattern. Work came up. My buddy needs help. I forgot I had this thing. Now, most women would either explode or go ice cold with passive-aggressive responses. Stephanie did neither. She used what we teach. May I share something with you? I'm feeling some disappointment when plans get canceled last minute. A part of me feels like I'm not a priority to you. Can I ask what you think about that? She paused. She released the attachment. He made excuses. He didn't change. So Stephanie set a boundary with herself. She stopped being so available. She started saying no. She focused on her own life. He had to step up or step out, and Stephanie actually ended up moving on from him. Months later, Stephanie ended up attracting Mike, who proposed to her. That's what boundaries with yourself creates. You don't waste energy convincing men to treat you well. You simply walk away from situations where you're not valued. And here's the magic with this. Quality men don't feel controlled by this. They actually feel inspired to value you because you're not nagging or mothering them. You're simply a woman who knows her worth. At the end of the day, understand we're all learning and growing. Give yourself grace in this process, but also give yourself standards. You're not being too needy because you want someone who's consistent, kind, respectful, and emotionally available. Those are completely valid needs. And if you want personalized guidance on exactly what to do with the specific man you have in mind right now, I invite you to take our free love quiz. In just a few minutes, you'll get your personalized top recommendation for getting the relationship you desire. Just head over to our website, magnetizeyourman.com, or click the link in the description or comments below to get that now. Thank you so much for watching and subscribing. We're praying for you to get the relationship that you most desire with this, and I'll talk to you more very soon.