Don’t Chase Him — Do This Instead

When he's not investing. Avoid this mistake. So many women get caught in this trap that we're going to talk about today. I call it specific person syndrome. And what this means is when a man that you like, you've been dating for a while, maybe you're in a relationship long term with him, he's not committing, he's not really giving you what you want or what you need. And rather than getting out of the trap, women lock themselves even deeper into the trap. And I'm going to talk about what this trap is. This trap that keeps you stuck, it keeps you obsessing over a man. It keeps you caught in his web of breadcrumbs and insinuations and future hopes and fantasies and dreams of what's possible and how amazing it would be that he finally gives you everything that you want and he finally really commits and he finally changes in all the ways you want him to change. Well, it is exactly that, what I just talked about, that's a fantasy, that's an illusion that your brain creates because it feels more pleasant than the uncomfortable reality of what he's actually doing and what he's actually giving you, which is likely not a lot. But the problem is, that's what actually hooks your brain in and makes you obsessed over him because of your attachment issues, because of your wounds, because of your traumas from your childhood and early romantic experiences where you didn't feel good enough. You didn't feel that the love was being given to you in the ways that you wanted it. You didn't feel that your needs were really being met. And so you created your own fantasies, you created your own illusions to get out of that uncomfortable reality. Your fantasies that your parents would change, your fantasies that men would change, that men would give you what you wanted, especially the men that you craved. And so it is a trap. It is a trap that we want to avoid and is a trap that we want to get you out of, because that is how you make a man actually crave you, how to make a man actually desire you from a healthy place, an empowered place. And I'm not saying this path is necessarily going to be easy for you, but it's necessary. It's necessary for you to get the dream life, the dream romance that you always wanted, the stuff that you read about in romance novels on social media from perhaps me and my wife's social media. But that's also a trap as well, because we want to avoid more fantasizing, more imaginations of the future. So let's talk about it. So what a specific person thinking, what is a specific person syndrome? Well, that is when you meet a man in your life, you attract him in, and he matches all of the wounds that you have perfectly. He activates you on a deep, visceral level, that craving that is triggering your unworthiness, that is triggering your obsession. Because he is not available, he is emotionally unavailable in the same way that you are actually emotionally unavailable in different ways that you're not fully available because of your wounding and because of your traumas. So this man creates a perfect puzzle piece for you that fits into those wounds and makes you believe this could finally be the one. This could finally be the man to give you everything that you've hoped for. And so you will latch onto him and you will focus on him. And in fact, when he pulls away or when he is not really giving you what you need, rather than you backing off, you actually latch on even harder. You obsess over him even more. And this creates a problem because it actually activates the trauma bonding even more, where you are even more stuck in this loop of craving a man, pursuing him, chasing him, investing more into the relationship, trying to meet his needs even more, getting into your masculine energy in hopes of that he will change and that he will start loving you, which actually then just activates his own trauma wounds, his own avoidant detachment patterns, potentially, where he starts pulling away even more, he starts investing less into the relationship. And you get in this toxic loop, this toxic cycle, this cat and mouse that we want to save you from, that I want to save you from, because it is so painful, because it is so dangerous actually to get caught in a pattern like this. So you then choose him. In your mind, in your heart, you choose him. And you say, this is the man I want. I don't want anyone else. I'm done dating. I'm over dating. Maybe you have men, other men that are pursuing you, maybe that you've put into the friend zone, or that you're simply not interested in at any capacity. You set them all to the side. Maybe there's even good men that are pursuing you, quality men in your world. But you're not interested in them because they're available, they're healed, they're healthy. We don't want that. We want a man who is unhealthy. We want a man who is not giving you everything that you want fully. That's the sweet spot. That's the sweet spot. Because that means then you can be anxious. That means that you have something to think about at night, to obsess over, to check your phone over, over and over and over and over and over again, seeing if he texted you back, seeing if he responded to that message that you sent him, seeing if he reached out to you. And so if you choose a healthy man, you're not going to get that, you're not going to have that. So it's too boring, it's too uninteresting to your system, to your heart, to your wiring. And so you latch onto the specific person. The specific person that is like a shadow, it's like a ghost of a relationship. It's just the faint hint of a relationship that keeps you hooked on it because you see what could be. It's like those puzzles, those paint by number puzzles where you can see the possibility that's there. And what do you want to do? You want to fill in those missing pieces. Your brain does. It starts to fill in those missing pieces and you start to fantasize about the relationship that could be and what it could be like to have him actually craving you. Now here's the kicker, and this is one solution we're going to start to get into as well, is I want you to imagine if that man that you want actually gave you everything that you're hoping for. Maybe he calls you up tonight and he says, I want to marry you. Let's get married tomorrow. I want to have kids with you, I want to spend all the time together with you. I want to move in and I don't want to see anyone else. And it's just you. And that's it. So imagine if that were to happen. On some level you would feel ecstatic. You would get all the dopamine hits. But on another level, you would probably actually feel afraid of that. A part of you would feel afraid of that, of like, oh, wow, actually, I actually have him now. I actually have this. Is this actually what I want? Is this actually him? I mean, now he's giving me everything that I want. Do I actually. Is that actually exciting to me anymore? And the reality of it is, if you actually played that out of the specific man that you want, giving you everything that you claim that you desire or that you're obsessing over, is that even a good fit for you? Is that even going to be a good life? Let's say you already know that he has red flags. You already see these things about him. Maybe he has addictive patterns, maybe he has abusive patterns, narcissism tendencies. Whatever those red flags are that I know you know Are there. If you play that out in actually getting married to him and having a life with him and moving in, maybe having kids or whatever it is, what would that be like? What would that actually be like? Would that be a healthy situation? Would that be an enjoyable situation? Because likely, that would be the only thing that would actually change, is he commits to you now, but nothing else about him really changes. None of his patterns actually change. None of his habits change. None of his character traits actually change. Would that actually be what you want? And it's an interesting thought experiment to play it out and see how your mind actually responds at that point. Because oftentimes you'll find surprisingly, you may say to yourself, well, actually, I have some concerns. Actually, I don't. I don't know if that's actually what I want right now. I mean, I. I want to continue seeing him, but to fully commit and to. To get married to him tomorrow. Like, I have a little. I have some hesitations about that, if you're honest with yourself. And so this helps you to get more perspective, actually, on who this specific man is. Because the way you get out of specific person syndrome and the way you start to heal and also attract a healthy relationship is to let go of it. You have to let go of specific person thinking. You have to let go of him in a lot of ways. And I know this is not easy. I'm just saying it's like, oh, okay, all right, I'll do that, Brody. I'll just let it go. Okay, done. Easy. No, it's not easy. I know that it's addictive. There's addictive tendencies that your mind, your brain gets these dopamine hits from. It's like losing your favorite food. It's like losing. It would be like losing. I don't know, it'd be like losing an arm, essentially. It'd be like, wow, that would be really painful to just let him go like that. I can't do it. I can't. Your brain can't. Your brain won't. And there's. There's strategies to actually do it, but it's going to take some time, and it's going to. It's going to be necessary. But here's the idea that I want to plant in your mind. You let go of specific person thinking so that instead you can focus on the specific relationship that you want. So that is how you start to heal. You let go of the specific person to get the specific relationship. And you might think, I'm just playing with words here, but it's actually a very powerful distinction to let go of the man that you think you want, that you're obsessing over, and instead to obsess over the type of relationship that you want, because they're often different. The man that you want, you already know he's not giving you the relationship that you want. You already know that he's not committing fully, or he's breadcrumbing you, or he's pulling away, or he's inconsistent, or he's not making you a priority, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So that's not working for you. It's not working for you to keep focusing and obsessing over this specific man. It's not changing anything. We have to change the problem. There's that old saying, you can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it. So we have to change your thinking. And I want you to start to expand your mind to the. To the idea that you're no longer obsessing over a specific man, over any man. Instead, what you're obsessing over is the specific relationship that you want in a way that's also obsessing over yourself because you're focusing on what your desires are, what your vision is for the future. And then you see what man is going to fit in that, into that box. That may not be the specific man you're hoping for, but here's the paradox is that you actually make it more likely that he will fit himself into that box when you create that box. So you're letting go of the specific person. You say, okay, so let's say here's the specific person, we're letting go of him. And instead we're going to focus on the specific relationship that you want, which is over here. Okay, I want a loving, long term, committed relationship. I want to get regular text and communications. I want him to want to commit to me. I want him to want to be exclusive with me, to be faithful. I want him to be honest with me. I want to have shared adventures together, trips, traveling. I want to have a lifestyle that we both enjoy, shared goals, maybe. I want to have a family and kids. I want to live in a specific area. I want to have certain hobbies and social events that we go to, shared friends. I want to cuddle together at night. I want to be able to spend quality time together. I want him to give me things. I want him to buy me things, gifts, flowers. I want him to tell me that he loves me. I want to be attracted to him. I want him to be. Maybe there's certain physical traits, but we want to actually avoid that. We don't want to get too much into the kind of man we want to focus on. What does the relationship look like? That's the box we want to focus on. You're. You're letting go of this so you can grab onto this, the relationship. And then once you focus on that relationship, we can look at. How can we actually. How does this actually match with. For one. Let's do that exercise. How does this actually match with what you already have with this guy? Is that even close? Is there even a. Even any overlap with that situation? Likely there isn't. And that's something to be honest with yourself about as well and just say, ooh, okay, something's got to change here. But first off, focusing on that goal. Now you can start to say, okay, I'm going to make this the priority. I'm moving this specific man over here. I'm moving this relationship over here front and center, and I'm going to focus on this. This is what I want. This is my desire, this relationship. And whether he fits into it or not, I'm looking for somebody who's going to fit into this spot. I'm looking for somebody who's going to fit into the spot. Who's the lucky man? Who's the lucky man? Who wants to put a ring on it? Okay. Who wants to commit to this? I'm open to that. I'm open to many suitors. I'm the. It's like you're saying, I'm the bachelorette. I'm going to open myself up to many suitors, and we'll see who it is. But I'm going to let go of making this guy the priority, front and center that I'm so addicted to and obsessed over. I have to let him go and put that energy into what relationship do I want? So it's using the word I rather than him. I want rather than him. He, that guy, that man. Letting go of that. Because that is external focus. Remember also that whenever you're focused too much on the external person, you're likely in masculine energy. Because what is the epitome of focusing on somebody else, of obsessing over somebody else, of caring for all of their needs and looking into exactly what they're doing and watching out for them and leading and investing. It's a mother. A mother does that with her child. Do you really want to be a mother towards him? Do you want to obsess over him like a mother obsesses over her child. Is that healthy? No, it's not. It's not healthy. It's masculine energy. Mothering is actually masculine energy, because what is a mother doing? She's protecting for, she's providing for, she's leading, she's investing, she's making decisions. Mothering is masculine energy. So we want to let go of all that. Whenever you are in masculine energy towards a man, you're going to put him in his feminine or you're going to make him pull away from you. You're going to make him leave, ultimately, because the polarity goes away, the passion goes away, the desire goes away. The devotion leaves the house. We don't want that for you. We want to have devotion, we want to have love, we want to have passion. So in order to do that, we need polarity, which means you focus the energy back on yourself. And then what happens? Now? He's going to start being inspired to protect and provide for you. So by letting go of specific person syndrome, specific person thinking and saying, there is no specific person. What you want is a specific relationship. You want a specific type of relationship. That's what's ultimately going to make you happy, not a specific person now. Yeah. The specific relationship may include certain character traits and habits and ways of being towards you, but it's not a specific human being that's going to be fitting that role. Oh, one second. All right, I have to finish. I'm going to pause real quick. I just had a little guest. All right, I'm back. That was my daughter. Surprise, surprise. So sweet. But not while I'm filming. I have to finish this up, and then I'm going to go give her a big hug. All right, so anyways, specific person out the door. Specific relationship is in. That is what's hot now. 2025. That is so in to be focusing on a specific relationship. It is so out. It's so nice. It's so 2015 to be focusing on a specific man. You got to let that go. It's out of style, girlfriend. It's out of style. Kick it to the curb. Focus on the specific relationship. And what'll help you with that? Have a journal. Have a journal. Write down what the specific relationship looks like. Visualize a specific relationship. And what I want you to do is imagine a faceless man. Imagine a faceless man fitting into that box of your specific relationship that you have with him. And then what's going to happen is you're creating an opening. You're creating a vision with God, as far as what the space is that's going to be filled. Remember, feminine energy is about receiving, it's about openness, it's about being penetrated by the masculine, by the gifts, by the desire that you have. And so when you create this openness, you're like spreading open your mind to receive the gifts of the masculine inside of your ideal relationship. So, so use that metaphor if you want. Use a sexual metaphor, use a devotional metaphor. But claim that relationship in that spot, but not the specific man. Because when you open that space, the right man will be attracted to it. The right man is going to be drawn in to fill that space in your life. And it may not be the specific man you're obsessing over. So that's the key here, that's the detachment practice as well, where we say you commit to the process, you detach from the outcome. And so you may have to let go of the specific man in order to get your dream life, your dream relationship. And I know it's going to be hard, I know it's going to be a process, but that's why we're here to help you. That's why we have our magnetic feminine polarity courses and our membership and our communication courses to help you navigate this process. Because it is about you moving more into your feminine, actually you becoming a healthy feminine woman in your queenly energy, becoming a secure attachment and letting go of limerence, letting go of obsessiveness and addictive patterns, love addiction, so that you can be healthy. And we're here to support you. You do need external support actually to get there. That's what the masculine ultimately provides for you long term is support. And it doesn't just have to come from your men. It could come from coaches like me. It could come from people in your life who lift you up, who are in a supportive environment that's lifting you up to live a better life. And if you allow that support to come in, rather than feeling like you have to do it all on your own, that support will show up. But you have to let go of clinging onto false reality and false hope and love addiction in order to have a healthy relationship, you have to let it drop. And this is a powerful strategy to allow yourself to do that. It's a shift in focus, it's a shift in energy. And I'm just planting the seeds for this right now for you. But it'll start to open up over time and bloom over time when you actually embrace this process so that you can actually have the relationship of your dreams. So just want to get you started with that today. Hope that was helpful. I'm going to start answering some questions as well because I'm sure you have a lot and we have some rolling in and we will dive into that now. Also, if you want to take our free quiz, click the link in the description or comments below. That's where we give you all that path, the recommendation to get access to this world, to this dream relationship. So that's where it all starts. Click the link below or you can go to our website magnetizeyourman.com to get that, get that free quiz, you get your top recommendation. So Helena said, can you advise on how to deal with an avoidant? Well, that's a lot of what I just did today. That's a huge piece of it is actually bringing the energy back to yourself now a huge component also of bringing the energy back to yourself and letting go of specific person thinking and exchanging that for specific relationship thinking is self care. When you love yourself, when you care about yourself, when you obsess over yourself, you start to focus on things differently. You start to focus on how am I feeling, what do I want right now, Am I taking care of all my own needs as best as I can? Because a man can't do everything for you. A man will do a lot of things for you when you attract a healthy masculine man, but he can't breathe for you, he can't make you eat food, for example. You have to take care of yourself to some extent. And that's where self care is about filling yourself up. It's like you're doing now. You're investing in your relationship, in your future, your education, your personal growth as a woman. So this is a big part of where this process starts, is what you're doing right now. Continue that journey because it's a beautiful journey of you opening up. And again, if you want a man to invest you as well invest into you as well. You have to first invest into yourself. You have to first invest into your own process, your own future. That means ideally getting support like this, getting coaching, getting mentorship, getting a community around you that lifts you up, that supports your growth and supports your future. Because that'll help you let go of needing the man. Because what happens often too is you get so obsessed over a man that it's like you have an umbilical cord that you're carrying around that you're just desperately trying to plug into him. Like, please feed me, please give me love, please like care about me, devote to me, please. But oftentimes that's again, just going to push him away further. You need to bring that umbilical cord back to yourself. You need to be the source. You need to be the flame, not the moth, the sun, not the planets. And again, that's also making him. That's the external focus. When you radiate, when you're in your feminine, you're radying out, energy comes to you. You don't have to put out energy. You don't have to seek a man, you don't have to chase a man, you don't have to pursue a man. You become a source for yourself. You become a source of care and devotion. Like, think about it. What is a little child doing? What is a. What is a puppy doing? A puppy isn't focused on taking care of other people or what other people are thinking. Like a child or a puppy is doing their own thing. And oh, yes, they will express their needs as well. And actually, a lot of children will go into masculine energy as well when they demand. But when a child comes up to you and they just ask, make, can I have a cookie? Or a puppy is looking at you, licking its lips while you're eating something and you want to just give it some food, it's because the puppy is just being a puppy. The baby's just being a baby. It's being something that we care about. It's being something that we want to invest into because of who it is, not because of what it does, but because of who it is, because we care about it, we have feelings of love for it. And you can embrace that same similar energy where you bring the focus back to yourself. You're not trying to control or manipulate or force something. You're simply being. You're expressing your feminine, radiant heart. And a man is drawn into that. A man wants to take care of it naturally, for who you are. So it's a different shift. It's a shift in experiences, a shift in emotion. It's a shift in your psychology that brings about the results that you desire. Loretta said, I'll die if I let him go. So that's exactly what we're talking about here. The obsessiveness, right? The addiction. It's like a drug addict saying, I will die if I stop taking cocaine. Do you want me to die? If I stop drinking alcohol, I will literally die. And sometimes this actually happens when a. When a drug addict is so addicted to the substance, when you take it away, if you don't do it in the right way, they literally will die. But I want you to realize that's because you have an unhealthy addiction. This is an addictive pattern and you need to get off it. And we're going to help you. I know it's not easy. It's simple, but not necessarily easy. But to be healthy again, to be an empowered woman again, a feminine woman, a radiant woman again, you have to get out of these addictive tendencies because what's going to happen is ultimately here, I'll lay this out for you, brutally honest, I hope it doesn't hurt too much. But you will waste the next 10 years of your life. You will waste the next five years, 10 years, potentially, if you continue down this road. Because 99% chance this man is not going to change. This man is not going to give you what you want. The only thing you have control over is yourself. And in fact, the more you try to change him, the more likely he's going to push, pull away. Unless you use feminine principles. Of course we teach feminine principles, which are ultimately is about yourself. It's ultimately about shifting yourself, coming back to your core, who you really are as a woman from the moment you were born. And then he, the man becomes like a byproduct. He becomes the icing on the cake. He becomes the, the cherry on top because of you shifting internally. However, if you continue to try to force it and you continue obsessing over him and making him the end all, be all and the only man for you, which is not true, there are so many other amazing men out there, then you can actually have what you want. So would you rather go down, let's say, two paths? Path A, you waste another five years, you're in exactly the same spot as you are, maybe 10 years, nothing has changed. You're still obsessing over him, he's still not committing to you, he's still giving you breadcrumbs or not even talking to you, but yet your brain keeps thinking about him. So there's that path. That's going to be a lonely path. That's going to be a terrifying path actually, because five years down the road, down the road, you're going to, let's be honest, have less physical attractiveness. You're probably going to be less healthy, you're probably going to have less energy. It's going to be harder to attract a quality relationship. Honestly, not that it's impossible, but let's be real, it is going to be harder. That's just a fact. That's the world we live in that's life. Now we have path, Path B, which is you heal your patterns. You go deep into this work. You let go of him. Not. Not just because you're going to let him go that he leaves, but because you want to be done with this pattern. You don't want to go down this road anymore. You want to have the relationship that you desire, and you're willing to let go of him in exchange for the relationship, which means he still could be the man, but it could also be somebody else. There's a possibility, and you have to be open to that. Otherwise, again, we have path A, path A or path B. Which way, Western woman? It's your choice. Which choice are you going to go down? And it's. And it's a sad situation because so many women choose path A. And five years go by, 10 years go by, 20 years go by, nothing has shifted. And then they're in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and saying, I feel so alone. And nothing has really moved forward in my love life. And, you know, I had dreams of having a family. I had dreams of getting married again. I had dreams of having a quality relationship, and it just never came to fruition because I couldn't change. I couldn't shift it. I didn't try to shift it. I didn't try hard enough to shift it. And I was obsessing over a guy who clearly wasn't obsessed over me, who clearly didn't want me in the way that I wanted him. Okay, well, ultimately, there's no one else to blame but yourself. Now, it doesn't mean that you can't get support with that, and it doesn't mean that you have to be harsh with yourself about this. It means you actually should care for yourself enough. You should love yourself enough to be willing to change. That's a big piece of this. And so, yeah, it's really a choice. At the end of the day, I know it's a hard choice. But again, it doesn't mean you're going to lose him. And that's what our programs are really specifically designed for, is how do you become the most magnetic, radiant woman you could be? By not by changing yourself, but by coming back to who you really are so that you make it more likely that that man wants to change on his own. We can't force him to change, but he will want to change on his own. And if he doesn't, another better man is going to step in. You're creating the opening in the universe for another better man to step in. And so why wouldn't you want that? Why wouldn't you want to shift? Because the alternative is basically death and destruction and loneliness and pain. So we have to shift it. And it's again, just realize you're addicted. Just realize you're like the cocaine addict. You're like the homeless person on the street begging for fentanyl or meth because you can't let it go, because you're hooked and you can't shift out of it. You have to realize that's the level of addiction. Like, and it. It help. It may help you to have that visual, like, when next time you see somebody that's on the street, you know, droop down like a zombie because they're high on whatever. Like, that's. That's literally what's going on for you with this man, that you're like that zombie drug addicted to this dopamine hit that this man is giving you, which is a false reality. It's not actually him either. That's the thing you have to realize. Your brain has created a fantasy of who he is. Your brain is addicted to the idea of who he is. Your. Your brain is addicted to this. This, like, romance novel you've painted in your head of who he is. And it's a total fabrication. It has very little to do with reality. But it's an. It's a. It's an addictive pattern because of trauma, because of past patterns, because of you having needs unmet in your past and creating a false reality because it feels better. It actually feels scary. And. And that's why also a lot of drug addicts don't quit, is because it feels like death to let it go. But that's also an illusion, too. To realize it'll feel like you're dying. It'll feel like. It'll feel like you are literally losing yourself completely if you let it go. But just to realize that's also an illusion your brain creates. It's an illusion from the devil actually created to keep you stuck. Because that. That the devil knows that belief will keep you from letting him go. It will keep you from letting the illusion go, the hope, the fantasy, because you believe that you won't survive without it. When the reality is, and God knows this, you will be fine. You will survive. I will survive. Oh, bom bom bom bomb bing ba bing ba ba boom. I'd be alive. Don't remember all the lyrics. So just realize it's an illusion of death, and it's also an illusion of life that you're holding on to. With this guy, it's false realities both ways. And so you have to recognize the false realities, see the uncomfortable truth, and then make the right choice from there. To choose to be empowered, to choose to be healthy, to choose to live fully in reality. In here, in the real world, where there is actually quality men available, there is actually a quality relationship waiting for you. Just think about this. Think about if your soulmate was waiting for you. Imagine your perfect man, your perfect soulmate was waiting for you, but he couldn't come in because you're obsessed with this other guy who actually wasn't your soulmate. He was a fantasy soulmate. He was like the shadow soulmate. So I want you to sit with that. Imagine that you're literally denying your soulmate from coming to you because the devil has a hook in you, and you're addicted to a fantasy. So sit with that for a while, and hopefully that can help you let it go. Like, if anything, that could kick it. You know, a lot of women when they're growing up, when they're teenagers, they'll. They'll often, like, look out their window. That's that kind of trope, right? You're looking out the window at the stars, saying, you know, someday my prince will come. I know he's out there. Maybe he's looking at the same stars that I'm looking at right now. We'll go back to that. Maybe that was actually a healthy mindset that he is out there, but you're blocking him. It's like you shut the door. You shut the window because you're obsessed with this. This other guy who's clearly not your soulmate, because if he was your soul mate, he would. He would show that to you. He would prove that to you. He would make it very clear, and God would let you make it very clear. God would not mislead you like that. God would give you the right signs, and they would be actual signs. They wouldn't be fantasies. Like, we have some women who come to us who say, oh, God told me he's the one. Or, God told me I'm meant to have his children. God told me. Okay. Was that really God, though? How do you know that was God? Or was that actually your addictive pattern speaking to you again? Just like a drug addict, A drug addict will say, oh, like, I just got the hit. I need to get a hit. Like, it spoke to me. Like, the drugs are speaking to me. I mean, I don't know if that actually happens. I've never been addicted to drugs. And I've luckily never had a lot of addictive tendencies, but I imagine a lot of people have the drugs actually, like, whispering to them like, what's that movie? Requiem for a Dream. Everybody should watch the movie Requiem for a Dream. It's. It's a tough movie to get through. It's intense. But if. Especially if you have addictive tendencies, it's powerful because it'll rub it in your face what it looks like to be an addict. Because in that movie, literally this woman is addicted to some prescription medication. And her. Her, like her refrigerator stops, starts talking to her and saying, come get some food. I know you want some food. Come get some. That's what the illusion is like, right? Where it's literally like that guy is talking to you, or God is talking to you, or the refrigerator is talking to you and saying, come, come. You know you want some. You know you want to hit. So I want you to realize that's what you're dealing with. That's what you're up against. Unfortunately, we live in an addictive society, and it's partly because of social media, it's because of pornography, it's because of actual drugs and pharmaceuticals and food and sugar. So our brains are getting. Getting this. These mechanisms activated. And I just want you to realize that this is just as transferable to love and to sex as it is to cocaine and fentanyl and, you know, sugar. So we're not. No one is really fully immune from this. But what we can do is we can get better tools and actually having a connection to the real God and giving a voice. Because I promise you, the real God would not mislead you down a path that's. That's only bringing you more pain. He would not lead you down that path like he would lead you down a path of righteousness, of true hope, true affirmation, like giving you life, feeding you life, rather than death. Like, it'll feel like life, and it'll feel like life in the good sense. Not like you're getting a dopamine hit or you're getting. You're getting just these highs, but it's actually like a steady fulfillment. It's like a lasting fulfillment. That's what it feels like to actually attract your soulmate. By the way, it's going to feel like this. It's going to feel like a steadiness, like a calmness, a calm lake rather than a roller coaster, rather than like tumultu. Tumultuous journey like that movie Requiem for a Dream, just total Chaos and. And ups and downs and destruction. Right. It's going to be like a steady lake. I just want you to know that that's what it feels like. You want to tune your system to that. Remember we talked about the specific relationship. We want to tune your system that that's what your specific relationship is going to feel like. A calm leg, a steadiness, a masculine presence where you just feel held. And it may feel scary at first because you're like, well, does this actually mean that this is love? Because it doesn't feel. I don't feel that anxious. I feel pretty anxious. And I'm not, like, getting all these crazy butterflies. And I don't feel, like, super attracted to him. I feel some attraction. I feel. I feel like I have some care for him, and I feel like I enjoy being with him, but I'm not feeling, like, these crazy sparks and. And passion and chemistry. Well, that's a good thing. That means you're not stuck in your addictive patterns. That means you actually have a hope to get a healthy relationship with your soulmate, the man that God has for you, rather than the fantasy and the illusion that trauma bonding that you may be having right now. So hope that was helpful, Loretta. So let's see what other great questions we have here. Yeah. Lori said, girl, you will not die. Promise. Thanks, Lori, for chiming in with that. Yeah. Amy said, obsess over the specific relationship you want, not the specific man. It's very powerful. Okay. And then Bloom said, how do I know if this. If the relationship that I want is too idealistic, fantastical? I have a beautiful vision, but it could be unreal, realistic because of unconscious blind spots about myself. That's. That's a very great question. And it's a lot. It speaks to the awareness that you have over yourself already, which is. Which is beautiful. So, yes, you can also fantasize the relationship and you can get too idealistic about it. So this is an. This is an important distinction because this could also be a trap. So when you shift from specific man thinking, which, by the way, specific relationship thinking is easier when you're completely single. When you have no man in mind, no man on the horizon, it is easier, I'll admit that. But what can happen then? If you're a single woman who hasn't been in a relationship or even dated a man you were interested in for many years, you can fantasize the relationship and say, oh, it has to be like all these romance novels that I've read and all these chick flicks. That I've watched and the Disney movies and the fantasies that I have also from what I see on social media, from other couples and families and my friends. And so you want to avoid that as well, because the real relationship, the specific relationship, should also feel like a calm lake. It should feel like that calm lake. And it should be realistic in a sense that, that it's graspable that you can actually see yourself having that. That you can also see that it would be simple, fun and easy, that it wouldn't be like a roller coaster. It wouldn't also be like this dream, like fantasy where you're like on a, on a golden yacht and you're traveling the world with him and he's a billionaire and he's 6 foot 6 and he is, you know, super handsome. And he is. What are some other things? You know, great sense of humor, great personality. Like, yes, he can have some of those things, but we want to be careful that your brain isn't going into total idealization. Now. What's, what's a good, what's a good catch for this is think about. Think about what would be like your base level and start with that. Start with a base level that's realistic. Like, I want to have a relationship where I feel loved, cherished, adored, that he's committed to me, he's loyal to me, that I'm attracted to him on a basic level, and that we have a great life together. Like, start with something like that. That's like basic. And say, like, that's what I'm aiming for. And if I do have these other things, that would be great, but it's not a requirement. So if I have, if he's super wealthy, if he's super tall, if he's good looking, if he's, you know, if he has an amazing personality, amazing sense of humor, like all that can be there. But it's like, we want to avoid getting too hung up on those things because for one, that's like 0.0001% of the population. And so that's going to be statistically a challenge, but also it's also an illusion often. So those things that you may think that you actually want. Here's a great fix for that. Think about how you want to feel. How would those things actually make you feel? Because those things are often, they're actually a symptom of what the cause is, what the actual thing is that you want, which is you want a certain feeling. You want to feel safe, you want to feel cherished, you want to feel Adored, you want to feel desired, you want to desire him, you want to be able to love him. That's like the feelings that you want. You want to feel happy, ultimately, you want to feel fulfilled. So we want to focus on the benefits of what you actually want rather than the features. So that's another important distinction. Focus on the benefits rather than the features. Focus on. And the ultimate benefit is how you want to feel, which, again, what I recommend is focusing on the feelings of safety, joy, that it's easy, that it's safe, that you feel taken care of, you feel loved, you feel cherished, adored. And you also feel attracted to him and you feel like you love him and adore him as well. Like, those are feelings, those are real feelings that you can, that you can have. That's attainable. That's attainable. Now, the package may be different. The package may be unexpected. The package may be a little bit variable, but the benefits are secured. You will have the benefits, you will get those benefits. If you believe, if you have faith, if you trust the process, you will get those benefits and you will actually be happy. You actually have a life that's. That's doable for you, that's reasonable, that's achievable, and that you don't have to wait that long for. You won't have to wait a decade for. And now I'm not saying, because a lot of women will say, well, I don't want to settle. I don't want to just choose a guy that's like, you know, boring and then I'm not attracted to. Well, you don't have to settle and you're not going to sell. Settling is also a conversation you have in your own mind about an illusion. Often it's this illusion that you have to have all these specific requirements in order to feel like you. You've got a right, a right guy in the right relationship. So again, it's not settling, it's actually getting what you actually want. That's what I want you to focus on, getting what you actually want, which is how you want to feel when you're with him. And that, by the way, is when a lot of people talk about that principle from the Bible. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Some call it the law of attraction or manifestation. That's actually how that works, is when you think about that in your heart, when you feel about that in your heart, you become a match to that. You become a woman who actually is likely to have that be drawn to you because of you embodying that fully, you feeling that fully. And you can start to feel it now. You can start to imagine what that would feel like now, again, not the butterflies. Avoid the crazy butterflies. Avoid the crazy chemistry, the sparks flying everywhere and causing fires all over the place. You want to focus on the ease, the joy, the comfort, the safety, the security, the steady passion. The steady passion that's there, but it's not this flame that's going to burn so brightly that it goes out immediately and then he pulls away and he leaves and it's just not sustainable. You want sustainability. You want a relationship that lasts. A lot of you watching, you likely watching now. You've had relationships that have ended. Maybe you've been divorced in the past. We don't want that again. That's painful, that's unnecessary. We want something that's sustainable for you, that's steady, that's like that burning flame that keeps burning, but that doesn't just flare out. We want the steadiness. So hope that helps and focus on that as well. Yeah, Lori said when you say it like that, it makes me see how he will never fit that. Yeah, I'm sure she's talking about some of those exercises I gave you earlier. Glad that was helpful, Lori. So, different question. Interesting. How can I encourage him to be more masculine, to want to protect or see that I need it? Well, that's everything that we talk about, really, in our trainings, in our videos and our coaching. When you become more feminine, when you tap into your core of who you really are as a woman, how God designed you in your DNA, before all the trauma, before all the societal programming and the wounding, you attract masculine men. It's a law of the universe, the law of polarity. Opposite energies attract. So the more magnetically feminine you become, the more you will attract masculine energy around you, from the world around you, but also from men and from a specific man. I'll use that word. Once you do attract a specific man into your life who fits into that relationship box, then you will attract him being more masculine as well. When you are more in your feminine energy. And he will want to protect you, he will want to take care of you, provide for you, make you happy, etc. So that is how you encourage him ultimately to be in his masculine. We have many techniques for that, we have many principles and teachings for that around, specifically around communication, how to share your needs, how to open your heart, how to ask for help. That all inspires the hero instinct within a man. It awakens his giant within his Willingness to want to help you and provide and be that man. And if he doesn't, he may be a broken man, because that's another level of this conversation we didn't talk about with yet. But the problem also why a specific person thinking is so problematic is because there's a lot of broken men out there. Just like there's a lot of broken women out there. There's a lot of men out there who have addictive tendencies in different ways, who have trauma issues, who have mental issues, who have physical issues and emotional issues. So you might be attracted to a man who's deeply broken, and he's actually not capable of giving you what you want, Even if you're the most magnetic, most amazing woman in the world. He's just not capable because he's broken. So that's another way that women get caught in this trap is they get addicted to a specific man who is simply not capable to ever give her or any woman what she actually desires. How much? How's that for a losing strategy? How's that for a losing pattern? To be addicted literally to somebody who can never give you what you want? I mean, that sounds like the definition of hell, if you ask me. That's somebody's personal hell right now. I'm speaking to somebody about that. To be addicted to someone who is literally incapable of giving you what you would ever what you actually want. So that's a. That's a real risk, and that's a real danger, and I want to help you avoid that as well. And that's why we have to look to signals like when a man comes into your world, when a man starts courting you, or you've connected in some way, you're dating, you have some kind of relationship or situationship. Like, you have to have a period of time where you're vetting these guys. We call it the 90 day challenge. And we have a 90 day challenge that we teach our clients in our coaching groups that they go through for 90 days with a man where they're tapping into their feminine core, they're getting personal transformations, they're learning how to communicate their needs properly and speak to a man in a level that activates his desire for them. And if over those 90 days, if a man hasn't shifted, then he's clearly broken. He's clearly broken. He has something blocking him from being able to give that to you fully, because it literally is like what I said, you becoming the most incredible magnetic woman possible, and yet he still is not giving you what you need. He's still not either able or willing to give you what you need. That's clearly a broken man. And so you have to be willing to walk away. You have to be willing to walk away at that point. Now, I recommend you should go through the 90 day challenge first, because otherwise you'll never really know. You'll never really know if this was the right man for you or not, because you haven't actually shifted yourself in the right way. You haven't actually gotten tuned into your feminine core and learned how to properly interact with him from that place. So you'll never actually know if he was your soulmate or not. So you should go through the process first, which again, you can click by get by clicking the link in our description or comments below or going to magnetizeyourman.com to get that. But you should go through the process first. But that's the only way you're actually going to know if he was the man or not, if he is capable of doing that. And then that's the hard part at the end is if he's not, you have to be willing to walk away. You have to be willing to stop the addiction, to put the pipe down, to put the needle down, to stop injecting yourself with false hope and false fantasy and dopamine and to get healed, get some real healing, like, girlfriend, fix yourself. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, okay? We have to get you healed. And yeah, it's not easy. I know we're here for you. We got you. But you have to be willing to do that. Otherwise it's just more, more, more, more suffering, more pain, more hopelessness, more, more personal hell. We got to get you out of that because I don't want you to waste the next year. I don't want you to waste the next five years, the next 10 years. We need to create more happy relationships in this planet, okay? That's why there's so much craziness and shit in this world right now, is because people don't have healthy relationships. People are not understanding these principles and they're suffering. There's a lot of suffering. And that leads to all other kinds of weird societal problems, okay? Like the onlyfans situation and the porn situation and breakdown of the family and divorce rates and low birth rates and all these other problems that we're having. So this is where it really starts healing yourself so you can heal your relationships. So we want to do that for you and get you out of those patterns and into a better world. Let's get into the Promised land, right? Let's bring heaven onto earth. She also said, how do I speak to him in such a way that he will do the love language? I need physical touch, words of affirmation, cuddling, standing near, near me, putting his arm around me, or calling and checking on me. Yeah, so those are all great things, right? So, yeah, you need to be able to speak to him properly, you need to be able to make requests properly and asking for help and sharing those needs. Now, I'll give you one tip. We don't have time to go into all the strategies now, but one big tip is to not demand these things from him, to not manipulate him to give you these things. Because that's the trap a lot of women fall into is they try to manipulate him into it. They try to either make him feel guilty or they'll try to give to him and hoping that he's going to give back. So they'll say, oh, if I want physical touch, then I should give physical touch to him. I'm going to give him massages, I'm going to rub his feet, I'm going to give him kisses. And even if he didn't ask for it, even if he's not showing any kind of desire for that or enjoyment of that or words of affirmation, I want my man to tell me how beautiful I am. I want him to tell me how, how he loves me, et cetera. So, okay, well, I'm going to do that to him then. I'm going to tell him how much I love him. I'm going to tell him how amazing he is. Well, for one, that strategy will never work because it's coming from the wrong place. It's coming from you trying to manipulate him, trying to get something from him, rather than inspiring him to want to give that to you on you, on his own, because of who you're being. Because remember the law of polarity, the law of polarity states that opposite energies attract. So it's not the same. It's not equality. It's not saying, it's not equity. It's not saying, oh, if I want these things, then I have to do it for him. No, it's actually the opposite. It's actually, if you want him to give you words of affirmation, if you want him to do a masculine behavior, then you need to be in the feminine of that. The feminine opposite. The feminine opposite is radiating. The feminine opposite is being vulnerable. The feminine opposite is sharing your feelings or asking for help respectfully. And then he naturally wants to do Those things. And so rather than manipulating him or telling him what to do or forcing it or initiating all this yourself, you learn better strategies on how to share your heart the right way, how to ask for help the right way, how to actually communicate these things to him in a way where you're not blaming him, you're not telling him what to do, you're not making it. Making him wrong or telling him he has to change. You're simply being open and vulnerable, just like I talked about. Like a little child or a puppy is simply open and vulnerable. You can't be more vulnerable than a child or than a little cute animal. But that inspires something within us. Even if you're a woman, you're inspired to take care of a cute little kitten, likely. And what is that? What's that all about? It's interesting, isn't it? What inspires you to want to take care of the kitten? It's actually not because the kitten is giving you compliments or giving you words of affirmation or trying to tell you what to do or blaming you or criticizing you. It's simply because the kitten is a kitten. It's a kitten. It's sweet, it meows, it looks up at you, it shares its feelings in its body and its language, and you just naturally want to take care of it. Like here. Like, here, have some food. I'm going to. I'm going to cuddle you. I'm going to nurture you. I'm going to protect you. Right? So you wake, and actually the kitten is awakened. The masculine energy in you to want to be that provider, to want to be that caretaker, in a sense, the leader. I wouldn't call masculine energy caretaking, but in a way, it actually is. It's him showing care for you. Not in, like, the sense of where somebody's taking care of, like a disabled person or an elderly, but he's taking care of your heart ultimately. That's what. That's what he's doing. That's what you're activating within him. All right, So I hope that was helpful. I'm going to answer a couple more of these, then we're going to wrap it up for today. Gloria said, I met a man who wants. Who wants that I put my family apart because he thinks that they're toxic. He got mad because he. He wants that I talk more sexually intense, but I'm not used to it. I'm 34 years divorced. He was a partner that spent time in the house but kept hers. It's hard for me to understand a little bit. Gloria. I think there's a language barrier there. Yeah. So I have to come back for that. Yeah. I don't quite understand the question, but the basic idea is likely what we've been talking about, this whole. This whole video here, is you're attached to him, you're obsessing over him, he's not treating you well, and he's asking you to do things that you don't feel comfortable with. You need to be able to learn how to share your feelings with him properly on how. How that's making you feel, what's coming up for you, so that he can understand and actually empathize and be inspired to want to behave better with you and not force you to talk sexually with him when it's not. Not something that feels good for you. All right, so, yeah, thanks, Bloom. She said something about my aura feels extra radiant. I appreciate that. You know, part of it is these principles I'm teaching you, they apply. A lot of them apply to men as well, but in a different way. And I practice a lot of that. And self care, self care is a good, good thing to focus on. Bloom said. Would you say it's true that women are naturally more codependent than men? Yes. Yes, I would say that's true. And the reason why is because women, for one, don't have as much testosterone, which is a hormone that causes someone to be more disagreeable. It also causes someone to be more independent in their thinking and independent in their ways. And men are stronger physically in general. They're able to take care of themselves. They don't necessarily need to be part of the group to survive. Women, physically and historically, need the group around them to take care of them, to survive in the wilderness, especially if shit hits the fan and there's a war that breaks out or there's, you know, famine or some crazy thing that happens. Like, women generally need other people to survive. Men, some of them could survive on their own potentially, you know, out in the wilderness. So that's one reason why women are biologically wired in their DNA. To be more agreeable, to be more group oriented and to fear ostracism, more to fear being disagreeable and losing friends and losing communities. So they're more apt to be people pleasers. And it's not saying that there's not men like this out there. There's definitely a lot of nice guys out there and men who are, because of their own trauma wounds, people pleasers. And they are more anxious and they're more codependent in general, yes, women are more prone to that. And so that is why this work is even more important for women to learn how to actually be able to be. And this is also, by the way, one of the reasons why women are more tend to obsess more than men do over another person. In general, there's a lot of men who do obsess over women, but in general, women are more likely to obsess over a specific person because of how they're wired. And these same reasons, because a woman will often see a man in two big reasons. For one, if a woman has had sex with a man, a woman who has had sex with a man will biologically wire to that man more deeply and will be attached to that man more deeply because unconsciously her body believes she could be pregnant with this man, she could have a child with him, and therefore she needs his protection, she needs his investment. Otherwise her and the baby will literally die, potentially. So a woman is more likely to be codependent and addicted and obsessive over a specific man that she's had sex with. Which is one of the big reasons why I recommend do not have sex with a man until he is committed to you, until he has given you some kind of exclusivity and shown with his actions that he is faithful, he's loyal, he is committed to this relationship. Because your body is more likely to wire to a man. And also it gives it time, gives you time, like I said with the 90 day challenge, to see if this man is actually healthy, to see if this man isn't deeply broken in some way. Because then you're just caught in another obsessive pattern with a man that you're going to then have another five years of back and forth, cat and mouse being addicted to him, not getting anything that you actually want, and then you have to start over again in another five years. So let's avoid that. Let's nip it in the bud. And that's one of the easy ways. I'm not saying it's going to be the cure all, because a lot of women still obsess over men that they haven't had sex with. But if we can avoid that, we take at least the biological element out of it. And again, that's simply. It's also to realize that just because you had sex with him, it doesn't mean there's anything special about him. It's literally a biological response. You had sex with a male, therefore your body will wire to that male more. It could be any Male, literally any male off the street. So to realize there's nothing special about him, likely you've just had sex with him. If that's the case. Now, that's one reason. Now the other reason is because biologically, where was it going to go with the second. Where the second one. You're more likely to obsess over a man because for safety reasons, because you, your body may also believe you need him to survive, that you're fusing to him as a way to survive and also to step up in some way with your social status, with your, your means financially. Maybe he's more financially successful than you are, maybe he has higher status in some way than, than you. Maybe he's, he's stronger than you, he's taller than you, he has some other ability to provide, he's really smart or he has problem solving skills like these. A lot of these are very masculine traits, confidence, etc. So you're seeing him as your source of, in a way, survival also. It's like survival, emotional survival. It's like you're clinging on to him for these different reasons. So we want to watch out for that as well and realize that that's also what you'll tend to do with the group. You'll tend to see the group as your means of survival. And so this brings us back to our first point, which is, well, what, what if we let go of that specific person thinking that he's not the solution for you necessarily, he's not the end all, be all, but the relationship is actually what's going to save you. Having the right relationship is what's going to save you. Having the right relationship is what's going to ensure your status, your survival, your happiness, your protection, etc. Not the specific man. He may provide that. But he could also be deeply broken. He could also just not care. He could have deeper wounds that are preventing him from doing that. And so we want to avoid getting too caught in codependency with a man who's going to ultimately lead to your destruction in a lot of different ways. Like what Angela said she survived and thrived. So let's help you survive and thrive by using the right principles of success with this. Patricia said, this just opened my eyes. I realized I was, oops, I was being so masculine when in reality I am so feminine. Yeah, it's just a shift. And oftentimes that's the big distinction is so many people don't understand that masculine energy, giving, protecting, providing, nurturing even is masculine energy. Because this is the distinction a lot of women don't get, they say, oh, but women raise children. They have a nurturing instinct. So we should do this. Like, this should be how I be with my man, because I have this beautiful nurturing instinct. So I should also take care of him. I should also, you know, cook him meals and provide for him in different ways. But that's the distinction is the nurturing instinct. It is feminine in a way, but it's also masculine. And it's meant to be used with children, not with a man. That's the distinction you need to make. Your beautiful, feminine, nurturing instinct is meant. It's designed within you by God for use with children, not with your man. Because if you use it with your man, it's reversed. Now you're putting him into the position of being the child. You're treating him like a child. Whenever you are mothering, you have to realize that it's just masculine energy. Masculine energy should be channeled towards a child. Children need to be protected. Children need to be provided for children. You need to think about their needs and their happiness. You need to make decisions for them and lead them, and sometimes even you might say, manipulate them for their own good by taking away toys. You know, that's what reward and punishment is all about. But the more you do that with your man, it's all screwed up now. You've reversed the polarity. Now you've reversed the natural design. You know, in Christianity, they talk about layers of protection and authority that's given from God, that ideally, your man, he should be getting his authority. He should be getting his leadership and direction given to him by God and by Jesus. Like, that's where it's coming from for him. He's the spiritual leader. He should be the spiritual leader. He should be empowered with that. And then for him to be able to then use that spiritual leadership for good, to then give and protect and provide and guide for you in your relationship. He holds an umbrella of covering. So God holds an umbrella of covering over him. He holds an umbrella of covering over you. And now you can hold an umbrella of covering over your children. Or if you don't have children, it can be your pets. It can be family members that you're taking care of, maybe older parents or relatives that you can provide for or other friends in your life. But you don't want to reverse that and turn the umbrella up. It'd be like you turning the umbrella upside down and say, oh, but I want to take care of my man. Oh, but I want to pay for things. I want to be the provider for him. I want to help him. Now, now the authority is all reversed and it's screwy. And now what happens is he's going to have to put himself under your authority. And now you are holding an umbrella over him and he's like this little child. And now you have to just, you know, go directly to God or go directly to me or your. Your mentors, your coaches to get answers. And what should I do? How do I take care of him? How do I. How do I handle this situation? So it just gets all screwy. And that's where we've seen so many of these problems in society, is because that polarity has been reversed because women are taking care of men. In a lot of cases, women are making more money than men are. And I would. I actually should see some stats around that. But a lot of women, more and more women are coming to us and saying like, my guy's not doing well financially, or I'm paying for everything, or I'm paying for the rent, or I do. I buy these things for him, or I buy gifts for him all the time. And. But he doesn't buy anything for me, or he doesn't offer to contribute, and often he can't because he's not making as much money as you potentially. And that's. That's his problem. That's something he needs to work out with, again with God going back to some higher source, higher power, and hopefully getting his own coaches and mentors. But, yeah, you want to embrace that protection of covering and say that's. That's part of going back to the specific relationship is like saying to yourself, I want a relationship where I am protected, where I'm taken care of, where I'm being nurtured. I don't have to give to him because I am the feminine. I receive from him. I don't. I'm not. I'm not giving to him and him receiving to me. That's backwards. And yes, of course you can still do things for him and he'll ask you oftentimes for that. That's the healthy design, actually, is when he asks you for things, he asks you if you can cook. Hey, babe, could you cook us something tonight? Or hey, babe, could you take care of this? Or could you do the laundry tonight or whatever? You know those classic stereotypes. Hey, babe, can you make me a sandwich? Can you do the laundry? Well, if a man asks you for those things and it feels good to you, then by all means, do it. But you still want to look out for the overall dynamic of the relationship and say, well, in overall, is he giving more to you or are you giving more to him? So these are one of these powerful distinctions that we teach and we go deeper into in like our courses, in our coaching as well, that a lot of women don't understand because there's so many distinctions around it. A lot of men don't understand it as well, unfortunately. But these distinctions, they make a lot of the difference. They make the difference oftentimes between divorce and a happy relationship. So we have to understand them so we can get in alignment with the way our DNA is wired. And if you're a Christian, it's the way God has. Has a plan for you in marriage, in relationship, that is so beautiful. Once it's actually flowing, then it becomes like a dance. It's this beautiful dance. You know, dance as in a relationship, as in sex, they all have these similar dynamics when they're done the right way, that just. Just flows. It just makes things work so much better for the man and for the woman. He'll be happier and you'll be happier. He'll be happier because he feels like he has a purpose, he's valued. Again, of course, when you also appreciate him for that, you respect him and give him that authority and trust his guidance, trust his leadership. Of course, you can still speak up when you don't, but in general, you're giving him that authority, letting him lead and appreciating him for that, valuing him for that. And then he feels empowered and he wants to do that even more. He wants to take care of you even more. He wants to provide and make you happy. So it's a very powerful way to understand and go about things. So, looks like there's more questions, but we're going to wrap it up for today. If you didn't get your questions answered, you'd like to go much deeper into these principles again. I highly recommend taking our free love quiz. That's where this all starts. If you haven't already, you can click the link in the description or the comments below to get that, or you can go to our website, magnetizeyourman.com, we'll give you our top number one recommendation for the next level of support that we think will help you the most with your situation. Specifically to get the relationship that you meet that you want, even if you have a specific man in mind. You know, I'm not judging you for that. I'm not blaming you for that. I'm saying let's help you heal. Let's help you get in the right situation. And if you do have a man that you just can't let go, well, let's really give it a shot then, and see if this could be the right man for you. And if not, which I have to say, there is a big chance it could be not. But if he is, then we'll be the best source to help you to get that relationship with him. If not, we'll get you the relationship with the right man. Your soulmate, who may be waiting for you once you actually embrace these principles and when she actually makes these shifts, who's just around the corner, he's looking at the stars right now, just like you're looking at the stars and he's saying, someday, my princess will come. While you're saying, someday, my prince will come, he's out there. He's waiting for you. Okay? He will. It will be clear once you meet him as well, that he will be the one. He will show you those signs. But either way, it's the same principles. We just got to get you there. We got to make these shifts and understand your feminine core so you can have the relationship you desire. So much love. Take care, and I'll talk to you again very soon. Bye. Bye.