How To Crack Open His HEART To You (Male Devotion 101)

Men love when you share your emotions in this way. In this video, you will discover what misunderstandings to actually break through when it comes to sharing your emotions. So you can create more trust, more authenticity, more transparency, and ultimately get more devotion from your man. Hey, I'm Anthea Boyd with Magnetize youe Man. And together with my husband Brody, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get a committed, connected and long term relationship that, that they desire fast. So let's go ahead and dive right in. So here is the common misperception that we hear from women, even like in our programs, courses all the time. And that is Anchor Broly. When I share my emotions with my man, then he's going to actually withdraw. He's actually going to say, I'm a drama queen. This is actually my favorite. We're going to get to that in a moment, right? Like, you know, I'm so super emotional, I'm too much and so on, right? So in other words, they disappear and they don't honor the woman's emotion. Now there's another story that goes like, well, when I share all my emotions, the narcissist can take take advantage of that. And you know, they've, they know where my vulnerable parts are, things like that. So we're going to address that one as well. Okay? So, so number one, when you have the experience that when you share your emotions and this will really means like I feel anxiety or I feel rejection or I feel whatever it is, right? And you know what happens is we can use emotions to weaponize. So if you use your emotions to actually point the finger at him, to actually blame him, to actually attack him, to actually manipulate him, well, guess what happens? He's going to go in self protection mode. He will want to defend himself. And honestly, I would do the same because I wouldn't trust you. I wouldn't trust your motivation, I wouldn't trust your agenda and the true reasons why, why you're expressing your emotions. Now, when Brulee and I talk about expressing your emotions, we'll also talk the energy behind it. And that is to be unattached, to actually really touch into. Why am I expressing my emotions? I'm expressing my emotions because I'm valuing myself. So regardless of how the man responds, so whether he says you're too much or this is too complicated, or I don't know what to say or what do you want me to do, is another thing I just heard the other day from a client, right? A man respond, well, what do you want me to do about that? Like, regardless of what he says, that can sometimes, by the way, also test, you know, will you shift just because he said that? Will you move out of your feminine just because he gave you this feedback? And will you actually start to betray yourself and be dishonest with yourself and actually lose loyalty towards yourself so that you can actually get accepted and get the appropriate approval from him? Now, in that moment, if you do that, he's not going to trust you because he knows you're doing this conditionally. You're doing this to get an outcome. Like true vulnerability is true vulnerability. Vulnerability really means you're vulnerable. Like, you're not in control. You're sharing, hey, you know, I feel sadness, and that can feel very uncomfortable. And when you feel that, then the man will be informed by that, right? But you can feel when you do it with an agenda attached to it or when you do it from a true place of vulnerability, what that means. Also, there's sort of a softening in your energy. Now, you may not know what I'm talking about. Maybe you had a softening moment with one of your parents. Maybe one of your parents, one of your loved ones is. You're very, very close to, you know, maybe a girlfriend that you can really, like, drop in with, you know, maybe a sibling, maybe a favorite aunt, maybe a grandma. Like someone, right? Where you just feel like you have just a soft, deaf sort of this soft part inside of you, right? So that's the spot from which you want to, like, speak from and girlfriend. I get it. I'm the first one to admit that it's been, like, super challenging for me to do that growing up in Eastern Communist Germany, where it was very, like, logical and it's very, like, harsh and very rigid, and it's very hard to actually, like, find that soft part inside of me. So it's, like, about the practice, but it's also about the intention, because your man will actually feel your intention, too. So, for example, when I met my husband Brody, and I told him that I was this part inside of me that wanted to manipulate him. Now, I didn't say that in a funny way. I didn't say that in a sarcastic way. I really said that. Hey, you know, I'm noticing something. You know what I mean? Like, can I be honest with you, right? Like, you can feel this. Like, there's something there. There. There's like a significance there, right? It's. I don't just say that there's some weight to it. And of course, he was available to, to what I was telling him because the energy behind it was authentic and was vulnerable. Now we're going to go to number two because I know what you want to say next. Well, auntie, if I tell this a narcissist, he will take advantage of me. Hey, listen, girlfriend, I have a narcissistic mom, okay? And. And I don't say that to like, judge or to, you know, lay my mom or anything like that. It's just the fact, okay? And so because of that, of course, I had my walls up so high to protect myself because I was ready to be invaded, attacked, have my boundaries be crossed like all the time, right? Be manipulated, be questioned, being put down, being, you know, all the things, right, all the things. So I tore. Totally get it. And then if you've been part of like, like a narcissistic, abusive marriage or relationship, my heart so goes out to you. If you had that on top of it. Okay, now I'm saying something here with boundaries. Okay? So what you're telling me is, okay, so because I had this narcissistic abuse, I'm going to put my boundaries out here. And of course that doesn't work because a man, a masculine man who's grounded and congruent inside of himself, he knows who he is, he trusts himself. And he has what I call contegrity. Now if you put that weight onto him so that he has to pay the price, he has to pay off the debt, the emotional debt, the physical debt that your ex has caused, like, he, he may not be willing to do that, right? And that makes perfect sense. He's like, I don't want to be blamed for that. Like, I didn't do anything, right? So how can you find sort of a balance between. You'd call it a semi permeable membrane. Okay, so in biology, when you look at a cell, there's a semi permeable membrane. That means certain parts are going into the cell and certain parts will never be able to enter the cell by design. So how can you set yourself up, right? That you can let love in, that you can let compassion in, that you can let trust in, and that you leave abuse out, you leave disrespect out, right? You, you leave, you know, all kinds of different ways to put you down. Criticizing you, judging you, all of that. You leave that out. Now what that means, of course, is like kind of learning when to open your heart and when to close your heart. It's kind of like you're oscillating. If that makes sense to you. And if not, pop that into comments below as well so we can continue further on our conversation. So what that means in real life is you learn how to make discernments, because when you are emotionally available, you also more intuitive and you actually trust your emotions more. So when a man, like a narcissist, is telling you what you want to hear, you feel that there's an incongruency inside of himself. Because one thing that narcissists can't fake is emotional and energetic congruency. However, when a woman really learns to trust her emotions and express them, then she will feel that difference because there's slight nuance and she will no longer question herself, doubt herself, and so on, second guess herself, but she will actually take action. She will actually distance herself and she will not open herself up to this man. Right? So I'm not saying, you know, open yourself up, express all of your emotions with any man. If you notice that a man is incongruent with how he shows up. And I'm talking abuse of like a narcissist or potentially sociopath, psychopath, that kind of direction, of course you're going to use your discernment, your intelligence and your judgment to remove yourself from the situation. So what Brody and I essentially are talking about is opening up to men. When you're in a conversation, maybe with your boyfriend, with your partner, someone you've been dating for a couple weeks or months and so on, like, to really, like, learn, like, how can I express how do I feel? How do you become more connected to how you feel? You know, because another thing that came up in our course lately, it's also like, how do you identify how to feel if all you had was, like, the mind, right? Like, sort of being intellectually, like highly advanced, you know, you're very, very smart, you're very accomplished, but how in the heck are you supposed to now identify how you feel? So that's step number one. So the identifying how you feel. And look, if that's hard for you, you can even just say, hey, may I share something with you? You know, I feel there's a constriction in my body, and I'm working on identifying what the emotion is. But to see, like, what can you communicate to your man without attacking him? And I know that because I used to do that too. So. But to actually share what's there for you, and then the man will actually, like, the masculine man will be more curious about what is going on for you, what may have caused that, how can he solve the problem? So by now you may have noticed, okay, there's a lot going on. There's a lot of different moving pieces. There's a lot of distinctions, discernments. And so the goal here is to combine your expression, like what you say, with your energy. And the good news is that you can even say the wrong thing with the right energy and you will still get the right outcome. However, you can say the right thing with the wrong energy, which is a lot of women do that in the beginning with when they start learning about feminine polarity, feminine communication, polarity, all of that. And so like, you want to actually like learn how to get the energy right first before you then communicate to your man. Next, if you haven't yet, take my free love quiz to get a connected, committed and long term relationship that you desire fast, without frustration, loneliness, and of course attracting any more emotionally unavailable men into your life by simply hopping over to get love quiz dot com. Or you can also find the link right here in the comment section. All right, let me know any questions that you have about us ladies. I'll talk to you next time. Take care. Bye bye.