How To Make Him DESIRE You

This turns him on and makes him desire you. I'm Brody Boyd and this is Kevin Anthony. And we're going to be diving into what turns a man on. How you can pull him to you and avoid pushing him away or having a man lose interest and not want to come closer to you, not want a long term relationship, potentially. How to make a man turn on. So how do you do that, Kevin?

How much time do we have?

We'll see.

I would kind of classify this into sort of different categories. And the first category is things that you shouldn't do. Right. So that category we don't have to spend as much time on. But, you know, I did a similar video on this, and one of the things that I really want to talk about first in that video and I did talk about was things like not to do. So don't criticize, don't complain. Don't compete with him.

Right, yeah. The deadly seas.

The deadly seas, exactly. So there's a lot of things, because when you talk about, you know, what can I do to turn him on? You think about a specific thing. I put on a certain outfit or I say a certain word, or that sometimes all you got to do is not do something. Right. So stay away from those negative behaviors that are an absolute turn off. Because the reality is, is that we love our women. We wouldn't be with them if we didn't love them. Right. So there's always going to be a certain amount of turn on there. Unless, of course, you're doing things that are annoying us and turning us off. So that's kind of like your ground level place to start, you know? And so many women don't understand the way that they say things or the types of things that they say. They don't understand just how much they come across as complaining and criticizing.

Hmm.

And it's just, it's this thing, it's this behavior that so many of us learned when we were young, probably from our parents, this way of expressing ourselves that we don't even realize we're doing. And I can't tell you how many times I've seen women attempt to give a compliment, and it literally comes across as a complaint.

Wow. Yeah. Do you have an example of that?

Well, it's like you do something that they liked, right? Like you, you noticed something, and it'll come out like, you know, I really appreciated that you noticed that I got my hair done. Because, you know, normally you just, you don't even appreciate that. It's like you don't even notice them. And like, sometimes I just feel like you're not even paying attention to me. So, like, I really appreciated that you noticed it.

It's just like, I'm so glad you finally called me.

Right. And it's that kind of thing where it's like, in her mind, she thinks she's giving him a compliment, and there is a compliment in there. But all we hear is, she thinks I never complimented. She thinks I never noticed. She thinks I don't do this. She's complaining. Right. She's criticizing me for my behavior. That's all we hear. It doesn't even matter if the complaint is in there.

Right? Right.

It's like when they tell you when you're. When you want to say something to somebody, to not use the word, but like, oh, you're really great, but this thing that you do, you're not that great because. Because when you say, but everything that came before, it is instantly forgotten. It's the same thing here with the, you know, turning a compliment into what we hear as a criticism. So I would start by saying, you want to turn a guy on, Just change. Change the way that you say things, because you're probably not even realizing so much how you're saying these things. Make sure you're being in the positive all the. As much as you can.

Well, it's such a good point that you brought up, because the way I teach it is masculine energy is really about doing. I'm sure you teach this as well. Masculine energy is like doing action, making things happen. And feminine energy is more about simply just being and receiving and shining, letting, being the light, sort of. And so with those definitions, for a woman to become more feminine, which hence would be more magnetic and attractive to a masculine man, especially through the law of polarity, she really doesn't have to do much like you're saying. It's actually more of not doing the bad things. Like, that's an interesting perspective I haven't really thought about. It's like, it's actually more impactful. Like, if you're a woman who really wants to attract a quality man or attract your man closer, it's really about primarily stopping doing the masculine behaviors or the things that have pushed him away or using masculine communication. And that by itself will dramatically increase your attractiveness to him and actually bring you into your feminine, where you can simply just let him take the lead. Let him take action, plan, initiate, make things happen. And you simply receive and be and share your feelings vulnerably when he does those. Do those things that you Appreciate, or if he's doing things that you don't appreciate, then you can share vulnerably as well on the other side, which we'll talk about in a bit with vulnerability. But that's an interesting perspective.

Yeah. And. And so similar to that, along with that, where they're. They're very closely related is just simply being in your feminine. Right. So not doing those things is sort of being in your feminine. But you can. There are more things that you can do. So when you're interacting with us, to interact with us from your feminine is hugely attractive to us. For the most part, it's genu. Gen. Generally not very attractive when you're approaching us from a masculine point of view. And it's so interesting because now that, you know, I've been working with a significant number of women, you know, I can tell in the first couple of seconds, the first three words they say, I can tell whether they're in their masculine or their feminine. And it's really interesting because the overwhelming majority of them are in their masculine. Now, what's interesting is that particular group of women are mostly aware of that. And so they're working to be more in their feminine. So, you know, they're conscious of it, they're working to do it. But imagine outside of that group, in the default population, the women who aren't even aware that they're in their masculine.

Yeah, right.

And aren't doing anything to try to shift more into their feminine. It's a lot of women. And so it is kind of a big problem. And it's something that a lot of men, if they haven't really stopped to think about it, don't necessarily know why they don't feel the attraction or why it feels like they're in a wrestling match all the time. But that's the reason why. So just being in your feminine is hugely attractive. Especially, you know, if we've got 10 women. Let's make it a little simpler. Let's say we're on a dating site and we're choosing between three women. Right. We're having conversations with three. Three women. The one who's the most feminine is for sure going to be the most attractive.

Yeah. All things being equal, the feminine energy, and even beyond that, I believe feminine energy can override in a lot of ways. Physical appearance as well.

I mean, if there's a huge physical disparity, maybe not. But if they're anywhere close, the one that's really feminine for sure is going to be more attractive.

Yeah, yeah. I've used this analogy before of imagine a young woman who's very beautiful, but she's wearing masculine clothing, like men's clothing, and she's hunched over and she's closed up and she's unhappy and angry and bitter and scowling maybe, and very masculine in her language and her and her approach towards guys. And then imagine a woman who's like 65, who's smiling, who's open, who's laughing, she's flowing, she has feminine clothing on, she is receiving like it's a totally different energy. Even though the physical appearance can be quite different, that that older woman will be attract more attractive to many men than the younger, more attractive physically.

And that, and that's a somewhat extreme example, but it does a good job of explaining the point that you wanted to get across. But even, even if the more masculine woman is dressed and appears like a feminine woman, is that the energy of it? Yeah, it's so palpable.

Right. Even if the dress and appearance was the same.

Yeah, yeah. So even if they're, you know, more, you know, the same in appearance, the one who's more feminine will still be more attractive.

Yeah, we should do that. We should put a show together and we'll actually have some men rank women based on attractiveness purely with them all wearing the same clothes and all not even revealing their faces maybe, and just with what their words are. And when they talk to him. I mean, it's kind of like the blind dating shows. But we could do something interesting social experiment. So some other, some other pieces that we wanted to bring up here. One of the, I know you've talked about this before is appreciation, which kind of goes a lot with what we've already talked about. But a big turn on for men is also appreciation because a masculine man and a man in his core of himself and his masculine instinct, he wants to feel that he is needed and he is valued by his woman or by women in general. If he doesn't have a specific woman, he wants to know, am I good enough? Am I attractive as a man? And one way a man knows if he's attractive as a man is if women appreciate him. And that could be in many different forms. But one turn on that I feel is very powerful is when a woman simply shares with a man how he makes her feel when she's feeling good. And verbalizing that to him by saying, you make me feel so safe, you make me feel cared for, you make me feel relaxed, or I feel so happy. When we spend time together like this, are we going out, or you plan an amazing date, or you make me feel so special, or ultimately, if it's a deeper relationship, just saying, I love you, I love you so much, or you're such an amazing man, et cetera. These are different ways of sharing that appreciation that just makes the male masculine instinct feel, I'm doing a good job, I'm winning here. I can make her happy. I can make women in general happy. I feel worthy as a man, and I feel like I have purpose now because I'm able to do a good job. And then positive reinforcement. He wants to do more of that. So what ends up happening in his system, in a man's system, is we feel a sense of turn on often, even if it's some woman we don't really know, but let's just say we're opening the door for a stranger and the woman smiles at us and makes eye contact and just says, thank you so much, or something like that, or, you made my day, maybe that would be more intense. But just to say something special that makes a man feel really good, and he's probably going to feel some attraction to that woman and some sense of turn on just from that little exchange. What do you think about that?

Yeah, I completely agree. I mean, as men, we want to be the hero. We do.

We.

We just. We want to be the hero. We want to save the day, whether it's fix the thing, you know, kill the spider or whatever it is. And while we often do those things and are the hero, it doesn't feel like it to us unless we get some appreciation or feedback. Right. So, you know, if we go fix the thing that's, you know, been broken or whatever, and then it's just like.

She doesn't say anything.

She doesn't say anything. Or she's like, it's about time, you.

Know, why don't you fix it? Last week when I first asked you.

Yeah, you don't. You don't feel like the hero. But if she goes, oh, thank you so much. I'm so glad you fixed that, because it was really like. I really didn't, like, Depends what it is. Maybe the, I don't know, the outlet where she couldn't plug her hair dryer because it was just. I was really not liking the way my hair was coming out when I had to do it in the other room because I didn't have the thing, you know, like, we're like, dun, dun. Like, we want to be that guy, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. So by sharing appreciation, it helps us feel that guy and the more we feel like that that guy, the more motivated we are to be that guy.

Yeah. I love the saying, just you make me so happy or you make me feel so happy. I think there's something really beautiful about that. When a woman can share that with a man, where he just gets a sense of like, wow, I created that, like that feeling of happiness she's having. Like, I made that. And that's like a big accomplishment. I mean, that's literally like he's creating happiness in the world. I mean, what better purpose for anybody.

Thank you.

Than to be able to know you can create happiness in the world? And maybe he can't make every woman in the world happy unless he's a massive playboy or he can't make the whole world happy, but he can make you happy. And that can in itself feel oftentimes just as powerful because also the depth of it. If he has one woman in his life that he can make happy, very happy and for long term, and not just happiness too, but making her feel safe, making her make her feel comfortable, cared for, loved and adored and cherished, then that's a big win.

I can already hear some of the negative comments going right now.

Let's imagine since we're not live, I.

See them scrolling right here. It hasn't even been published yet. I can hear some of the women already going, he's not responsible for my happiness. I'm responsible for my own happiness. I can hear it now. Somebody's going to say it.

Man should have to make you happy.

Yes, you are actually responsible for your own happiness. But remember, this goes both ways. When he does something you don't like, it's also your responsibility to make your own happiness, to choose whether or not you're going to allow that to make you unhappy. But what we can do and what you're really saying here is we can create an environment, an atmosphere and energy that allows you to step into that happiness. Because if we're not doing that, trust me, you're not going to be happy. If you're in a relationship with us and we're not creating that for you, we're not doing things, we're not helping you, supporting you, doing all the things that a good man should do, you're not going to be happy. So from that perspective, we are creating your happiness. But I just wanted to address the fact that we understand you are actually responsible for your own happiness.

Yeah, there's a distinction. I'm going to make a video about it at some point, but I've Been thinking about this lately. As far as there's a spectrum between what a woman can do for herself and what her man can do for her. Like, for example, your man can't breathe for you, but you can breathe for yourself. But your man can help you fix your car, for example, or fix some. Fix the light, or help give you some attention and give you some love.

Fix the air conditioner so you can breathe.

Yeah. Make sure the air is purified. Well, since.

So.

Yeah. So then there are those things that he can do for you. So of course you can do all these. A lot of things for yourself, as you should. But there are also the opportunities where you can turn a man on. You can excite him, you can make him desire and crave to actually want to provide these things for you, to want to make you happy, because that's where he's going to feel his sense of purpose. And that's one way also, men and women feel happiness differently. I feel in a relationship, as you feel happiness when you feel good. But a man, I think he's going to feel more happy when he feels a sense of purpose in the relationship that he has, meaning that he's, like you said, being a hero, being a superman. That's a better feeling for a man deep down than just feeling, oh, I'm happy, and, you know, we're dancing or something. It's more like, oh, am I of service? Am I a purpose in this relationship? So that's a powerful one. So the other one we wanted to talk about is. Let's get one of the counterintuitive ones. This is an interesting one. Spontaneity. Do you have anything to say about spontaneity as a turn on?

Spontaneity certainly can be a turn on. So, you know, from. From a man's role, and we're talking about polarity and man's role, you know, it's generally sort of more up to us to spontaneously be like, I'm taking you away on a weekend.

Right. Yeah, so.

So from that aspect, it's not bad. It's not necessarily wrong. But for a woman to suddenly show up and be like, I'm whisking you away to a weekend in the cabin in the mountains, we'd be like, okay, that's cool. But, you know, like, that doesn't necessarily do it for us the same way it would do it for you. Because for you, you'd be like, oh, my God, that's amazing. Thank you so much for doing that. Right. However, spontaneity can show up in other ways. Like spontaneous sex acts. That's a.

Spontaneously showing up into an outfit that is very.

Yes, yes.

Interesting and attractive to us. Spontaneously dressing up as a French maid.

Or cheerleader, spontaneously, you know, making something like if you like to bake or cook, like, oh, I made this, you know, cake or these, you know, whatever, this dessert for us tonight, like sort of spontaneously that it's out of the ordinary, it's not something you would normally do, but you know, that, you know, he loves that particular thing. So there are, there are ways that you can be spontaneous and do kind of cool things that would be attractive to us for sure.

So one example from my wife, one thing my wife does and this attracted to me and turned me on with her a lot early on is that she would have what I would call spontaneous outbursts of joy. And so what that would mean. This is actually an extension of what we talked about earlier with appreciation. It's a form of it. But she would be in a good mood and so she would just all of a sudden start dancing. And she would just like sometimes I would be working and she would just enter my office and start doing what she calls the happy hippo dance. So she would just start dancing in my office. And it was funny, it was cute. And it was a turn on for me because it was an expression of her femininity. And femininity is really the thread through all these things that we're going to be talking about. But it was her being willing to express her emotions with her body, which were fun emotions at the time. It also could be sometimes a turn on for a man because we'll talk about vulnerability as well. Can be when you're crying. Even when you're crying and you're just like, I don't know what to do. And I feel so sad that it can actually be a turn on for a man as well, because the walls are so down and you're completely open and vulnerable and raw. And yeah, it's. It's very strange. But I remember even with my first serious relationship that oftentimes I would be very turned on by her just simply showing her emotions fully. And same with my wife and a lot of women that I've known is just when they're even just crying and breaking down. It's like it wakes up the hero instinct and it also expands polarity. So what I'm saying here is all of your emotions can actually be a turn on for a man. And when they're expressed, sometimes it can feel spontaneous, but it's just because in your feminine energy your emotions are often changing. It's like the weather. And sometimes if I lived in Hawaii for a while, it can be sunny and 10 minutes later it can be raining and 20 minutes after that it can be thunder and then it's sunny again. And so that's kind of like what the feminine is like, is it has these ebbs and flows just like the monthly cycles. But when you can actually just express it rather than bottling it up and pretending everything is good or pretending you're just. You just want to be. Oh, I don't want him to know that. That I'm that interested in him. Or I don't want him to know that he has that effect on me. So I'm going to play it cool and I'm just going to pretend it's all good. But then he doesn't get to feel that range. So that's part of the spontaneity, is actually following your own emotions and expressing when they come up. And that could be through dancing, it could be through ver verbally through your communication with him and sharing how you're feeling, which we teach through feminine, magnetic, feminine communication. But that's part of the spontaneity that I feel can be a big turn on is actually just following the flow of the feminine energy.

Yeah, I like it.

So why don't you bring up a new one? What's another thing that turns you on?

Well, let's talk about some of. Because you know, when we're talking about turn ons, right. Obviously we've been talking about emotional turn ons so far. We've been talking about sort of behavior turn ons. But let's talk about when we say turn on. Let's talk about sexual turn ons for just a moment here.

Yeah, that's your expertise, so.

Well, it is my expertise. And it's also, hey, you know, we're going to title the video how to Turn On.

That's what it's all about.

We got to talk about it.

Yeah.

So one of the things that is an absolute turn on is when she just walks around the house in her underwear. Could just be regular underwear, could be lingerie, either one. And this is also one of those things that can be part of that spontaneity. Like, you know, my wife used to do this all the time. She like, it's not like she'd tell me. Right. Or anything. Or she just would take off her pants and walk across the house, you know, purposely in front of me in a G string, you know, while you're working. Yeah, while I'm sitting there in front of the computer. You know, a little distracting, but in the best way.

Yes. It's like, all right, gotta, gotta just send this email and I'll be right back.

It works every time.

20 minutes. Yeah.

And you can do that. You can do the same thing with the dance. You know, you can come in and sort of dance seductively. That's another thing that you can do.

Yeah.

Another thing that she used to do a lot of the time was leave her underwear or lingerie, like, laying around on your desk. Sometimes on my desk. Sometimes I come in in the morning and I pull my, you know, my chair be pushed into the desk, and I pull my chair out, and there'd be like a pair of sexy lace panties laying on my chair.

You know.

Sometimes they just be laying in various places around the house where she knows I will eventually find them.

Struggles of being in with men, with a feminine woman, it's very hard to focus sometimes. Got to get some work done around here.

Yes. But as men, that's part of our challenge, is to be disciplined, to know.

It'S a hard life.

No, it's not.

It's great. But yeah, that's true. That's another distinction between the masculine. The feminine is masculine needs to be the disciplined energy, holding down things, making things are safe and taken care of. For the feminine to dance, to walk around in her panties. Yeah.

Well, and so, you know, the key to that and the way that that works is unfortunately for a lot of men, when they see that, when they see her walk by with no pants on and just a G string, or they find that they think, oh, my God, she wants to have sex right now. Right. And so then they want to go make it happen. But that isn't necessarily what she wanted. She just wants to stoke that fire. She wants you to just be in a state of turn on. She might not be interested in having sex in that moment at all, in any way, shape, or form, or she.

Could just be doing. Because she loves walking around her panties and not even thinking about you.

Well, possibly that's a possibility too.

But then why is she walking in front of my door so many times?

But the point is, is that, you know, it's to nurture, you know, what my wife and I used to call a constant state of attraction. Right. So it's to stoke that fire all the time with little things that you do. And so from the man's perspective, it's like, it's not so much that I got to be like, I got to force myself to stay here and not go try to make love to her right now. I know that she knows it's that I'm working. Right. I think we need to make a.

Skit out of this.

This is a lot of good material here for.

For a video.

She's not expecting me to drop it and immediately go make love to her most of the time. Time occasionally she was. But. Right. So I. It's not really that much of a struggle. It's one of those things where you just appreciate it. Right. It stokes the fire. It creates turn on. And then later on you're like, oh, it's on.

Yeah, yeah. No, it's. It's a good one. That was another one of our things that I had here was sensuality as a turn on for a man, which can be. That can be an example of sensuality. I also look at sensuality as. What is the definition of sensuality? It's connection to the senses. Right. So when a woman is able to, or when you are able with your man to simply enjoy the pleasures of your senses when you're with him. Like, for example, if he smells good, if he's wearing a cologne that you like, you can just come close to him and just kind of hold him and smell him and be like, you smell so delicious or you smell so sexy or whatever it might be.

I love how you're pretending to be a woman.

Yeah, well, you gotta give an example, right? Um, so that's like, that's like what it would. One example what it'd be like to be in your senses of your body. And it could also be just looking at him and being saying like, I just love that color on you that is just so hot. I love it when you wear blue. So that's you being connected to your visual senses. Or when he is holding you close, be like just melting into. Into him and feeling his hug against your skin or his arm, his skin against your skin. And be just like. It feels so good when you hold me like this. So these are all examples of being in your sensuality. And of course you can use all the senses and actually first off, feeling your senses. So a woman being fully in that mode where you're flowing with your senses and actually paying attention to what you like, what you don't like, what smells good, what doesn't smell good, what tastes good, what doesn't taste good, what looks good, et cetera are his voice, etc. So you can actually express then once you're actually tuned into your body, which is your feminine, your feminine core lives in your body. So anytime you're listening in, like what am I feeling right now? What are the senses, what are the emotions then that's the first thing. Cause now you're in your feminine now, you can more easily express those things through your words, through your body. And then secondly, you can actually use magnetic feminine communication and you can start to share those things with him and let him know how you're feeling and what you're feeling and what you're feeling about him. And, and that could be a great turn on for a man because again, the masculine is more mental, is more focused and disciplined. Ideally when a man is more than his masculine. And when you're the opposite of that, which is sensuality and feelings and flow, that's going to create polarity and that's going to create a turn on.

Yes. And while we're talking about sensuality and turn ons, y' all are going to laugh because, you know, you watch my video, so you know, this comes up in pretty much every video. But we got to talk about blow jobs.

In a committed relationship.

Yes, we're obviously making an assumption about committed relationship, but we're talking about how do you turn a man on? There is really no better way. It is something that absolutely will turn us on. This is another thing, however, that really works best when you can have an agreement between the two of you that any sort of spontaneous blowjob does not have to lead to sex or even finishing the blowjob, so to speak. Right.

Interesting. Talk about willpower.

The idea is that you should be able to be spontaneous and when you're, you know, in the mood to do that, to do that for him. And it could be, you know, 2 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, whatever, depending on how long he lasts, however much fun you want to have with it. And then you can be like, okay, I'm done. And you know, if he is a trained and disciplined man, he'd be like, wow, that was amazing. Even though he may not have finished and he'll be excited to, you know, reconnect with you at a later point in time. This works really, really well. This is another fantastic way to stoke that fire and to keep that constant state of attraction going.

He's.

Yeah.

Now we're getting some combinations really of some of the basics we've already mentioned. But I want to get your thoughts on this. What about the spontaneous lap dance?

Yeah, absolutely love the spontaneous lap dance.

Yummy.

Uh huh.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, my wife had done that many, many times. You know, sometimes they'd be during the day just for fun, but a lot of times it'd be more like in the evenings, you know, and she just put music on and then feels like a strip club.

Yeah.

And then like suddenly out of nowhere, like, you know, she'd just, you know, pull it up on your cell phone real quick, you know, some music. Some music. Yeah. And then, then like come walking out of the, you know, the walk in or something.

Did you ever see the movie Nine and a half Weeks?

Oh, sh. A million years.

Yeah. What was that song? There was like a couple songs in there, but it's like I wear my hat on it. You know, sometimes I take my hat off so long, but you got to play that song. That was like the famous scene back in the 80s or early 90s where she was like giving him like a sensual, like a lap dance of sorts.

Yeah, I. Spontaneous lap dance is fantastic. And it doesn't. Doesn't even have to include any nudity.

Oh, you can keep your hat on. That was the name of the song.

Oh yeah, that's a.

Keep your head on.

If she ends up wearing only the hat, that's fine too.

Yeah, exactly. Everything. Anything except for the hat is off. All right, so yeah, let's see. We have another good one. I just want to touch on it because we kind of been dancing around it a bit. But let's clarify this one. So major turn on for is vulnerability. And so some of the things I have to say about vulnerability as well is when you are vulnerable with a man. What that really means is imagine that there's a woman who's completely covered in, let's say body armor, like a knight or she's covered in like a full on burka with like sunglasses on where you can't see anything. Basically, she's covered fully. And then imagine a woman, how a man would respond to that woman who's completely covered. And then imagine a woman who's completely naked and she's there and she's in a sexy pose, perhaps. How is a man going to respond differently to those two women? Just from a biological place, it's going to be very different. And so now the key is once you've gotten those two visuals, woman completely covered. Woman completely naked. Now imagine that's your heart. Imagine that you're with a man and your heart is completely covered. One woman has her heart completely covered, guarded, protected and hidden. And then another woman has her heart completely open, vulnerable. That's what we're talking about with vulnerability is emotional vulnerability. So how do you actually have an open heart and be open energetically to a man and not holding any guards or putting on a mask or trying to manage your perception of him for what you think he wants you to be or what he's hoping for you? You'd set all that aside and just simply be real and honest and authentic with how you're feeling. And that can be sharing, like we talked about. So this goes through a lot of threads of what we talked about. The appreciation and feeling, sharing positive feelings with him. Like, I feel so happy. I feel so relaxed when I'm with you. Or it could also be sharing the other quote, unquote, tough emotions, like, I feel sad right now, or I feel anxious, or I feel insecure, or I feel. I feel angry. But doing so in a way where he can simply see that vulnerability, feel that vulnerability, and not that you're putting it on him or even trying to make him do anything with that, but simply just, this is what's going on for me now. I want to see what you have to say about that. But that's. That's what we mean when we're talking about vulnerability. So why. Why would you say, is vulnerability a turn on, in your opinion?

Because it's feminine? I mean, that. That's what it comes down to. When you are vulnerable in your heart and sharing your feelings. It's just very fe. We are just hardwired as men to be attracted to feminine women. I mean, this is literally in our DNA. And that's one of the problems with, you know, so many of the teachings in, you know, our modern day where everything is equal, nobody's different than anybody else, right? Everything needs to be done. Androgyny, it literally goes against what we are hardwired in our DNA for, you know, and it's like, we can. We can try to fight against that, but it's like, you know, it's like a lion trying to decide he wants to be a vegetarian.

Right?

Like, it's hardwired in the lion's DNA to hunt and to eat meat. So it's gonna be an uphill battle and a struggle for him to try to do anything other than that. And so, you know, when you talk about qualities of a woman like being vulnerable, those are things that signal to us this is a feminine woman. And so, you know, right away, like, that just triggers something in us where it's like, oh, she's vulnerable. She needs our help. Right? So I need to step up and be there for her. So, yeah, it's. It's just inherently feminine.

Yeah, that reminded me of that story, the lion amongst sheep. I don't know if you've ever heard this story, it's an Aesop's fable. But basically, the lion Cuban was lost from his parents when he was born. And he ended up getting raised in a flock of sheep. And he grew up in the sheep and with the sheep, and he started bawing like a sheep and eating grass like a sheep. And then one day there was a bigger male lion that saw the lion and the sheep. And he said, hey, what do you. He chased him and he caught him and he's like, no, ba, ba, ba, don't eat me. And he's like, look, you're not a sheep, you're a lion. He's like, no, you're lying to me. I don't believe you. And he said, here, let me show you. And he took him to a pond and he showed him, just like in the movie the Lion King when Rafiki was showing Simba into the water. He's like, look. And he looked down and he saw that he was a lion. And then there's another version of the story where the lion gives him a piece of meat like you're talking about, and he tastes the meat and he's like, oh, my gosh, this tastes amazing. This tastes so much better than eating grass. And so that's a great analogy in how I view this process often of a woman becoming feminine is right now you may be a lioness living amongst sheep or pretending that you're a sheep. And once you can actually taste what it tastes like to fully be in your feminine and to be with a masculine man or to attract a masculine man because of your femininity, a quality masculine man, it's like you're getting your first taste of meat, what it tastes like to be a lioness, and you actually get your meat. You're like, oh my gosh, why wasn't I always like this? Why wasn't I always open and vulnerable if I was always in my feminine instead of trying to pretend I'm a sheep or sometimes like trying to pretend you're a man and trying to lead him or do things for him or mother him or control him. And so that's what we're doing here is we're giving you that taste of meat and there's a whole nother world that's possible for you to live with a healthy, polarized relationship and be living your full expressed self. Because Once you're in your feminine, you're actually living from your feminine core. Every woman has a feminine core deep down inside somewhere. And when you pull it out and you start living from that core and your feminine instinct, you become who you were meant to be. And what's your natural way of actually being besides outside of all the societal programming and inside, outside of friends and family and movies and school, other forces that may have tried to convince you that you're a sheep, when you're actually a lioness and you're actually this, have this feminine radiance just awaiting inside of you that's going to wake up and wake up your man.

Yeah. And it's, it's not easy to do. Most women are pretty traumatized from either, you know, their family of origin or, you know, past relationships. And it feels really vulnerable to open up in that way, to surrender into being feminine. And so it's scary for a lot of women to do that. But the reality is, is if you really want to have, you know, quality relationships with quality masculine men, that's, that's where you need to go.

Mm, yeah. It takes courage. And it's, it's like if, if, if that was so easy to do, then every woman would do it. And the fact that there is trauma that you've likely had in your life, there is hurts that you've had in your heart, there's going to be some blocks around that. And that's why it's also so important to get coaching around this ideally and, you know, be part of at least a coaching group or membership. You know, like with our feminine polarity memberships, feminine communication, we help with this, but to help someone have, have someone there to help guide you to actually take those steps, sometimes baby steps to start peeling back the layers and opening up your heart again, but this time in the right way, this time being who you were, you, you are in your core and living from that and communicating from that place. Even when it's scary and even when it feels uncomfortable. Because nothing's going to change unless something changes. If nothing significant changes, you can only expect to have the same that you've gotten. And so your relationships will likely continue to be on the same cycle and the same pattern that we've seen with so many women who come to us of like, this is how it always goes for me. And I attract avoidant men or I attract men who cheat on me or they're, they abuse me or they don't commit to me, or they're all just low quality guys. Or whatever the story is of what you've continually attracted. And we got to break that, we got to shift it. And that's why these principles and you being here are so powerful and important because you're starting to get on the path to changing this for yourself. So it's, it's a beautiful journey. So let's do another one here, which is. This one's pretty counterintuitive. Detachment from the outcome. So why could detachment from an outcome be a turn on?

One of the four Cs is controlling. And controlling. So you know, we've got complaining, criticizing, competing and controlling. Right? And controlling is you always trying to make sure you are dictating the outcome. Right. So that is always a turn off to us. It's a competition to us. We're like, hey, wait a minute, that's our job, you know, or, or if it's not our job, it's like, I don't need you to be my mother, you know, kind of thing. And so if you can detach from that outcome, right. And not constantly be trying to steer everything so much into a particular outcome, then that feels much more feminine to us. It won't trigger our, let's compete back. Let me get back in your face or stop being my mother or any of that kind of stuff.

Yeah, yeah, totally. And it allows a man to feel that you are receiving him. I think also when you're detached from the outcome, you're like, here I am, I'm available, lead me. Where do you want to take me? Just like in the dance, the metaphor of a dance, which I always love, going back to this metaphor with what we teach. So in a dance, my favorite is west coast swing. Don't get too far from the mic here. But in a dance, the, the woman, the feminine in the, in the dance, partner dance process, she's simply there. She's there, she's available, she's receptive. She's like the flower, just there. And then the masculine energy in the dance, he gets to grab her hand, just like in Aladdin, do you trust me? Grabs her hand and he starts to lead her and guide her. But that can only happen if she's detached from the outcome. If she's like, look, I don't know where you're going to take me. And frankly, I'm not attached to it. Let's see, let's see where you take me and see if I like it or not. And so then the man grabs her hand, invites her on the dance floor, and then he starts doing his thing. He starts dancing to the music, pacing, leading her, twirling her, moving her around, dipping her, all these different things. And she gets to simply be like, wow, this is fun. I just get to relax. I don't know what's coming next. Let's see where he wants to move me next. Of course she's following it like she'll accept his guidance. And she's still putting energy and whatnot into the dance, but she's like, I don't know what's going to happen next. And I'm just kind of following for the journey. Now here's the caveat that's very attractive to a man. When he can just simply know you're receptive to his leadership. When he knows you want to follow and you're, you don't have an agenda. You're not trying to get him to do anything really. You're just, hey, I'm here, I'm available. I'm a high value woman. I'm feminine, I'm here. Where do you want to take me? What adventure do you have planned for us? What night do you have planned for us? And then if he's not doing a good job, because there are men who are simply bad dance partners, there are a lot of men out there that don't know how to dance, or they're really bad. Or maybe he's dancing, but it's for only for his pleasure. And he doesn't really care if you enjoy it or not. And he's just yanking you around and pushing you around. And he's like, let's go over here. All right, I'm done. And that's not nice for you. So being a high value woman and feminine is also about speaking up when he's not doing a good job. Sharing your feelings, we go back to vulnerability, sharing the problem, letting him fix the problem and letting him correct his behavior. Maybe he's stepping on your feet and he didn't even realize it and you're like, oh, ouch, ooh, I have my foot. And he's like, oh, baby, I'm sorry, Let me, I'm gonna make sure I don't do that again. And then it's fixed, right? And then hopefully he doesn't do it again. If he does, you say again, ow, that's my foot. And if he does the third time, I'd say, stop dancing with him. Get off, you're done. And so then that's kind of the process in relationship as well. It's very similar. And so that's why it's A turn on demand is when he knows that you trust him. That's really. That's what it goes back to, is detachment from the outcome is about you're showing him, you trust him and you respect him as. As a lead, as him leading the relationship, leading you, making decisions, planning, guiding, wanting to make you happy. So that's a very powerful aspect.

Yeah. And I love that you brought up the dance analogy. That is true. Not just in west coast swing, but in pretty much any structured dance form, whether it's ballroom dancing or salsa dancing or, you know, pretty much any Latin style of dancing. They all have that structure. Same structure where the man leads and the woman follows his lead. But here's the interesting thing about that, is if you're watching somebody that's like an amazing salsa couple who are dancing. Right? Yeah. The man is actually leading that. But who are your eyes focused on the entire time? Her.

Yeah, he's showing her off.

Very rarely does anybody go, like. I mean, sometimes, occasionally. If the man is really a spectacular dancer, somebody will be like, wow, did you see that? You know, but nine times out of 10, everybody's attention is focused on her. That's such a good point, though.

Such a good point.

Technically, the one leading where this dance is going, she is always the star of it.

Yeah. And you'll see that even with how they dress. Typically, if you watch, like, Dancing with the Stars and these, the woman has usually a very amazing outfit, and it's beautiful. I mean, usually they both look good. But then the men's, I think, is often his dress and outfit is a little more subdued. Oh, absolutely.

It's usually black.

Yeah. So it's like all black. And the woman's like.

And she's shiny, sparkle, bright color, face.

Painting on the side or something, you know, and then so skin showing. Yeah. And so he gets to be this, like, almost like a vessel for displaying his woman and being like. And that's how he's winning at the dances. When he makes her look really good and he's showing her off, and then he looks good by association. And that's like. People are like, wow, he must be a really good lead because look at this. Look at how she's doing. And this is amazing dance. So it flows.

I had a guy on my podcast twice. His name is Andre Paradis, and he's a professional ballroom.

I know Andre. Yeah, Andre.

Yeah. He's professional ballroom dance dancer and teacher and also relationship coach. And he literally, that's what he does is he takes the principles of dance.

Oh, yes.

And applies them to relationships.

There's so much. So take a dance class. That's one, one homework we have for everybody who joins our coaching and our programs is at some point take a dance class because you will learn so much. If you haven't done those dances before around this, these dynamics, but we're teaching you them here as well. So you, you can also do it without it. But you have to master these things. So let's hear one more. Do you have any others that you would want to add in as far as what turns on a man, we.

Covered most of what was on my list. You know, we, we kind of skipped over the more subtle physical things and went straight into strip teases and blowjobs. But, but there's also more subtle things like if that's a little too much for you, there's you know, come up in and you know, sink into our arms and you know, kiss us, you know, from a feminine, not like I'm gonna manhandle you, kiss me, but like, you know, sink into us. You can grab our butts, you can even grab our crotch. You know, little things like that that are stoking the fire that you know, you could even do in a public place subtly and people wouldn't even notice. Right. But that are going to turn him on and then he's going to be thinking about it.

The whole can happen under the table.

That's right. And then, and then when you get home, he's just going to ravage you.

Oh yeah, yeah. When you're out on a date and all these little moments, like you said, it's great. And it can also be non verbal too and non touch base. So like a certain eye contact or like a biting of the lip or you know, the way you're handling straw of your drink or brushing your hair when you're talking to him or what I love is the three, they call it the triangle gaze. You see Marilyn Monroe do this in some of the old movies where you're like looking at one eye to the other eye to his lips to the eye to the eye to the lips while he's talking to you. That can be a big turn on for guys because it's basically in some ways that's how a woman looks at a man when they're having sex. I, I would say is this kind of like just full like engagement with the man. Right. You're looking and you're almost touching him with your eyes and caressing him with your eyes for sure. So there's a lot of Non verbal ways you can, you can definitely turn on a man. And with some things I'll add, since we're talking about non verbal turn ons is open body language. I don't know if we talked about that. I meant to mention it a little bit. But when you're facing a man and when you're actually have open chest and you're not, you're not hunched over, you have good posture, open chest, and you're looking at him directly and smiling and making eye contact, even if it's just for a moment, that could be a big turn on for a guy. Let's say a guy that you're just seeing at a party, you're like, oh, that guy's really attractive. And you just kind of for a short moment face him directly, give him a little eye contact and maybe a little smile or even like a little head nod or something. I wouldn't do a wink. I think it goes a little bit much, but look how it's a little cheesy. But just the smile and the eye contact, maybe a little head nod. That can be a big turn on for a guy because it shows for one that you're able to signal your interest and that you're available, you're open. It goes along with the trust that we talked about, the vulnerability, keeping that openness with your actual body and how you hold yourself. And imagine you're vulnerable with your body and just like here I am, you're like this blooming flower, you're the flower to the honeybees and you're just open and available. And even some flowers will literally turn towards the sun and while the sun is up and actually face the sun directly. So imagine you're like this flower and you face him directly. It can be a turn on to a man because it shows your openness and it shows your availability and at the same time it communicates interest.

Yeah, it's feminine and it's vulnerable.

Yep. So any final thoughts for today?

Well, I think we covered quite a few things there. I mean, if I had to leave you with a final thought, it's, it's this, there isn't any one thing thing that's necessarily going to absolutely turn him on and make him want you and all of that. It's really just incorporating as many of these things into your daily routine as possible. And some of them may work for you and some of them they don't. But we gave you a pretty good list. So take the ones that work for you, leave the ones that don't. And try to incorporate as many of them into your day to day routine as you can. And then watch. See the shift, shift in the relationship that occurs. Because I guarantee you, if you're doing these things regularly, you will absolutely see a shift. If you're in one of those relationships like so many women report, where he's just kind of lost interest for various reasons, you will start to see that shift if you're doing these things.

And you just reminded me of the final cherry on top. I'll give you today, the women listening. Something I learned years ago from a friend of ours who is a stylist. And she said if you want to turn somebody on, this is like a stealthy, feminine. I don't know what I would call it. A feminine trick, I guess I would call it is when you're talking with him and when you're interacting or even just when you're with him, think about things that turn you on. So it's a subtle, energetic shift. But if you're with a man, you can actually think of what turns you on the most about him, what turns you on in general. And just the act of thinking about those things, it's going to shift your body language and it's going to shift your energy. And he will probably be feeling that. He will be noticing that and even imagine, yeah, imagine that you're just sending this light out, this turn on light towards a man. Whether that's coming from your body, from your feminine regions, that you're just sending him this turn on energy. And like all the things that turn you on the most. And I think you'll be surprised how men will pick that up too.

Yeah, they may not. They may consciously pick it up, but they may not consciously pick it up. But they will definitely subconsciously pick it up. There's no doubt about that.

And that's the way you can almost energetically and subtly turn on a man without him even knowing why or you even knowing why. Exactly.

There's, there's nothing more attractive than what we would call a radiant woman.

Yeah, right.

When she's radiant and that means she is open, she is vulnerable, she is feminine. Right. She is lit up, she's got positive energy and sexual energy moving and all that stuff. She's just alive and full of life and radiant. She's glowing. That is a huge turn on.

Yes. Much love. Hope this was helpful. If you want to take our free Magnetize youe Man quiz to really master these principles, make sure to take the link in the description below. We'll put it down or in the comments, and that's going to be very powerful to take. And then do you want to tell them how they can find you as well, real briefly?

Yeah. The easiest way is to just go to my website@kevanandseline.com you will find everything I do right there in one place.

Yes. Much love. Take care. We'll talk to you soon.