If He Pulled Away From You THIS Is Probably Why (3 Male Love Patterns)

Why men pull away. After getting close to you, we're going to reveal the secrets. If you're wondering why a man hasn't been engaging with you, if he started texting you less, you feel like he's less invested, he's pulling away in subtle ways, maybe in big ways, maybe he's not talking to you at all right now. Why do men pull away? We're going to be uncovering this two amazing coaches today to help you get all the secrets that you have never understood or never maybe even thought that you might be scared to understand about men that you're interested in. Why are they pulling away? I'm Brody Boyd. I've been helping single women, me and my wife have been helping women, not just single in relationships, to get a loving, long term, committed relationship for over 20 years combined. And we have here Kevin.

Yeah, I'm Kevin Anthony and I am a sex, love and relationship coach as well as a certified sexologist and NLP practitioner. And for over a decade, I have been coaching men, women and couples to have the relationship of their dreams and the best sex of their life.

Lives. Yeah. So this is going to be really interesting and we're going to dive right into it and start. I want to hear your thoughts, Kevin. Why do men pull away? Especially after they got close to you? Why would he all of a sudden stop engaging? Why is he pulling away?

This is a great question and like so many things in a relationship, there isn't one clear, straight answer as to why. But we're going to try to break down a few of the potential reasons why they do.

Let's do it.

So we're going to start with the first one, which is really simple and easy. And then, then it gets a little bit more complex after that. But the first one is there's a lot of men out there who simply are players, right? And they're out for the conquest. And so, you know, they're super nice to you and they do all the things you want because they're trying to get you into bed or get whatever it is they're looking for from you, right? And then once they get that, you'll notice the interest starts to wane and they start kind of, you know, getting flaky or they'll just outright disappear altogether. It's because the conquest has happened and they've already gotten what they're looking for. So that's a huge red flag. These are the types of men that you don't want to be dating. These are the types of men that you want to avoid at all costs. And I think if you're really doing the things that you're learning on this channel, those types of men probably won't be attracted to you all that much because they're going to sense that you're no nonsense and you're not going to put up with that. They tend to go for easy targets as well.

You're a queen. You're a queen. So he's going to be looking more for easy like the, the. What's the term? The. The maiden in the bar.

Exactly.

Not the queen. He's a nice term. So let's say there's a woman who's finds herself in a situation where she is with a player and he's pulling away. Is there anything she can do now to turn, turn things around with him?

Well, I would say that if she realizes he's a player, to let him go away and cut ties and just move on. Because, you know, you've heard this a million times, you can't change him.

Right?

No matter how much ladies, you think you can change him, you can't change him. In fact, we can't change you either. It's not just about you can't change men, you can't change anybody. People change when they are good and ready to change and players are, are not good and ready to change. They're not interested in changing. This is what they want to do. And I've seen this way too many times where. Well, yeah, I know he was a player. I know he dated a lot of women and I know, you know, he juggled them and this and that. But you know, once he loves me, he'll change. Right. Does it happen? It happens a couple of times. It happens in rom com movies all the time, but in real life not so much. So I would say don't really waste your time there.

Yeah. Because if a man is super like that is very clear who he is. What we teach is that you know, when you become the queen and when you're using magnetic feminine polarity, magnetic feminine communication, like you give the best opportunity for a man to actually shift in relation to you and actually come closer to you. However, some, there is a percentage of men that are simply. We call him broken. Either he's mentally broken, emotionally broken, spiritually broken. Maybe he's a sociopath, a narcissist, he's an avoidant attachment style, but even that can be corrected. But if he's really broken, if he's just clear that this is a player. Yeah, you got to let him go because that's not going to shift. But the best chance to give an opportunity for that is you being in your queen and you using all the respectful communication vulnerability that can potentially bring him closer to you, and that can give you the best shot. But this video is actually about why men pull away. We can go into more details, and we do cover it in many of our videos, and we will cover more in this interview today. But let's hear what the other ones are. What are some other things you've seen?

So the second category are men, where something happens in the. And it's not even necessarily a specific event that happens, but over the course of getting to know each other, he realizes something is off. Right. Some. There's something that he's like, oh, I'm not sure if that works for me. I don't like the way she handled this, or I don't like the way she said this, or I don't agree with her politics or her religious views or whatever it is, something is there that is not maybe the way he would like it to be. Now, that's not necessarily an issue, except for the fact that these type of men don't have the emotional maturity to actually come to you and say, hey, here's what's going on. As we've been getting to know each other, I've noticed that maybe there isn't alignment here in this area. Can we talk about it?

Right.

Because sometimes it's just a misunderstanding between the two. It's like, you know, we see a behavior or we hear them, you know, make a comment, and then we create all these ideas in our minds about what that means. Oh, well, then she must be this or she must be that or she must think this or that. Right. And those things could potentially be cleared up if you actually had really emotionally mature conversations. But these particular men often don't have the level of emotional maturity to actually be able to come to you and say, here's what's going on for me. Here's what I'm noticing in the relationship that's not working for me. And so they just. They just flat out disappear.

Yeah.

Now, sometimes these can be, as you mentioned, avoidant personality types. So there's some conflict that they perceive in the relationship, whether it's real or not. And their default mechanism is avoid, disappear, run away.

Right.

Other times, it might just simply be that they just. They don't know how to handle it. They don't know how to talk about their emotions.

Right? Yeah, totally. It reminds me we had a woman who Just recently joined one of our coaching programs and she was sharing a story about her guy and. And he had started texting her less. They were texting for, you know, actually they had been friends for a while and then decided to give this a romantic shot. And he was all over it because he loved her, he was really into her, but he started texting her less. And so when she joined our program, I gave her a strategy on how to actually approach him and have a vulnerable conversation with him. Using magnetic feminine communication to actually share her feelings, open up her feminine, vulnerable heart to him, to actually feel it and know what's going on, as well as sharing the stories that she has in her mind, which is true feminine vulnerability. And he was able to understand where. Where there was a problem, where there was an issue. And because she opened up, because here's what happens when you're actually feminine and vulnerable with a man. You're showing him trust, you're showing him that you trust him, that you're actually willing to expose yourself in a lot of ways, mentally, emotionally, in all those different ways. And so the masculine desires to feel respected and trusted. The feminine desires to feel adored and cherished. So when you're showing him this respect and trust, he felt that from her and he started sharing and he started being really honest with her. And they had a very powerful, deep, honest conversation where he was talking about how actually her religious beliefs, like you mentioned that as one of the things, was actually scaring him a little bit because he wasn't on that same level as she was. I don't even know if he's necessarily religious at all, spiritual at all, really. He's very focused on his business and his life. And so her being so dedicated to her faith was actually scaring him a little bit. And this was a great conversation to have because whether or not they may work out long term, now they can actually discuss it openly rather than him just kind of pulling away, not mentioning anything, just kind of slowly becoming more and more distant because he feels this disconnect. And he might not have the emotional maturity, like you said, to actually have a conversation about it, or he might not feel safe to have a conversation about it because she hasn't really been vulnerable with him. So he doesn't feel like if he brings it up, that he doesn't know how she's going to react because he doesn't know how comfortable she is. So, yeah, it's very powerful.

I love that you brought up that example. I don't know if the viewers watching this Realize this, but we don't share before we get on here what each other is going to say. Right. So he didn't know I was going to say that as a potential.

I didn't want to know. I was actually excited. He told me. He's like, oh, I have three. And I'm like, okay, I would love to hear it. But I didn't ask because I want to hear on the interview.

Exactly. And I didn't know that he was going to share that story. So I love that you shared that because it is an absolute perfect illustration of that exact theory. Right. That there is something that was wrong as far as the way he perceived it, which is her religious views. And at first, he wasn't coming out and actually talking about it. And of course, then bringing that conversation to the forefront and having it allowed them to actually talk through it and potentially get. Get past it.

So. Yeah. And they reconnected quite a bit since then. We'll see. It's yet to be determined. Because the great thing about this process and using magnetic feminine polarity and opening up and being vulnerable with a man is it becomes very clear after doing what we call the 90 day challenge, which is a magnetic feminine 90 day challenge, where for 90 days, you're going to use everything that we're going to teach you on how to actually be with a man and communicate in this way with a man from your feminine that you'll become very apparent. Either he's going to step up and be completely devoted for you and treat you like a queen, respect you, desire you, adore you, cherish you, like I mentioned, or it's going to become very apparent that you guys are just like this. He's broken. He's not capable of showing you love and caring for your heart, or he has other issues. He's just, like we said, mentally, emotionally, maybe physically broken. Some issues that it's just. He can't give you what you need. It's gonna become apparent. And that's better that you figure that out in 90 days or less than that. You continue to be strung along and hoping and you have this hot and cold and back and forth. Yeah. So it's very important. What's the next one?

All right. The next one is maybe a little bit less often, but it is still something that I see, which is that he actually does really love you, and he's feeling really strong, deep emotions for you, but he doesn't know how to handle those emotions. And he actually gets scared because he's maybe not used to feeling that. So, for instance, an example would be like, you know, a woman has never shown up for him the way that you do as your, you know, queen, using your magnetic, feminine, opening up, being vulnerable, you know, adoring him, showing him love and respect, and he actually doesn't know how to handle it because he's never experienced it. I've also seen some where men experienced so much happiness for the first time in their life, like, that they don't actually even recognize it as being happiness. They feel something inside, and they're like, this is weird. I don't know what this is. I'm feeling all this stuff. Right. And they don't know what to do with it. So especially if you happen to be an avoidant personality type, what happens when you're feeling all these things that you don't know what they are and you don't know what to do with them? Right. You start going, ah, ah, ah. Right. So it's a little bit less common. The good news about this particular one, though, is, is that if you can identify that, and again, you can have some emotionally mature conversations, it can lead you into a really successful and deep relationship as long as you can identify that that's what's going on.

Yeah, you. What you said also reminds me that there's also a lot of men who are more feminine, especially in today's day and age. And if they encounter a woman who's. If you're using everything that we're teaching you, if you're actually a very feminine woman, maybe naturally, maybe because you're learning what we are teaching and you're connecting to your feminine core. If he's a more feminine guy, he might not know what to do because he's like, oh, I'm used to women doing things for me. I'm used to being taken care of. I'm used to making for her, making the decisions and her being the strong one and me sharing my emotions and me being mothered and, you know, having my bills paid for, whatever. It might be. Like, he's used to being the feminine role, and so his. His polarity has been reversed. And he has these issues or traumas or things that have happened to him, or he's just, you know, from the culture. Things have been bad programming that most of us have gotten that has caused us to block our true masculine, as a man, masculine core or as a woman, feminine core. So he might be like, whoa, this is a feminine woman. Like, I don't know what to do. And I'm freaking out because all I'M feeling also actually really, like, empowered to, like. I, like, she wants me to lead. She wants me to step up. She. She. She enjoys that. And now it's kind of getting scary because I don't know how to do. I don't actually know how to be a man. I don't know how to be the masculine. And he's freaking out. And he's also just. Or he just is like, I don't. I don't know if that's. That's gonna work for me. Like, I need to be taken care of. I need to have a woman be. Be helping me all the time and serving me and protecting me. So what do you think about that?

Well, so the three scenarios that I gave, I consider kind of, like, broad.

Categories, because that one's, like. It's sort of, like, sort of related to the last one. Maybe it's a little bit of combination of some of the ones we talked about.

Exactly. So I see those as kind of three main categories, and then in each one, there's sub reasons. Right. And so this is definitely a sub reason, which is that you're right. In today's society, we have an epidemic of more feminine men. And I think we talked about this in the last episode that. That we did also. So I don't want to rehash that too much, but there is a lot of pressure in society, and a lot of men have chosen to go that route because they don't want to be, you know, the. You know, they don't want to be toxic masculinity, toxic masculine, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah.

But it has created a lot of problems with the masculine feminine dynamic. Right. And so, yes, one of these subcategories may certainly be that when you're showing up and creating space for him to lead and looking towards him to be the leader, to step up and be the man that you want him to be. He might be really intimidated by that because he might suddenly realize, I don't know how to be that man.

Yeah, he may not. Yeah. I don't know how to be it or I don't want to be it. He may just, like, I don't want to be a man. I want to be a little boy. I want to be taken care of. Like we said, like, it depends on your man. And nowadays, it's more and more common that there are men like this who are really wanting to be taken care of. They want the woman to basically earn all the money, pay the bills, organize things, plan things, make things happen, make decisions Handle finances, taxes, handle this and that and that. And he just basically is there to watch tv, play video games, eat, have sex, you know, just live a life of pleasure, which is the feminine, really. The feminine is to be enjoying pleasure. The masculine is actually to create the container for pleasure to happen. So he's protecting, he's providing, he's building and creating space for you to be happy instead of you creating space for him to be in his feminine. Joy, pleasure, happiness. Like the masculine doesn't get happiness the same way that the feminine does. The masculine gets happiness through purpose and meaning. That there's something he has to take care of, whether that's helping save the world like a James Bond or some of the movies that we watch, or helping save his community, or helping just protect his family and his woman and provide for them and make them feel good and happy and healthy and safe. That's where he gets his meaning. It's different than how a woman feels happiness, which is being cherished and loved and protected and safe.

If you run into one of those men, and I'm doing air quotes for the men who really just wants to be a perpetual child and play video games and not have any responsibility, run in the other direction. Like, literally run in the other direction. You're not going to fix him again. You're not going to change him, and he's never going to give to you what it is that you want. And I can tell you, I have these conversations all the time with coaching clients when I start telling them, here's how you have to step up and here's, you know, I will tell them things about, okay, this is the way in general, you know, women will act in a certain situation or what they're looking for in a certain situation. And I'll often hear feedback like, oh, but that's kind of B.S. and why would they do that? I go, stop right now. It doesn't matter why. It just is. And you need to accept the feminine for who and what the feminine is and just basically take responsibility for the fact that this is your role as a man. And this is what I tell them all the time. I go, I don't care if you like it or not. That's the role of the masculine. Yeah, you came into this world in a masculine body. You're a man. This is your job. Accept the responsibility, because otherwise you're never going to have successful and happy relationships.

Well, this is a great conversation as well, because what a lot of men don't realize is that, like, these kind of men we're talking about who are actually afraid of being your man. Because the subject here is why men pull away. So if he's afraid of being your man, if he's actually afraid of stepping up, he may be pulling away. But what most men don't realize, and through being the queen and giving him, like doing a 90 day challenge, that gives it the best chance that he will step up, he will start shifting. And some men, like you said, they just. They can't, they won't. And those men, you got to walk away. But you can give that period of time where you're using everything we're teaching you to see if he does shift. Because part of the reason he might have been in his feminine for so long is because you've actually been in your masculine for so long, and you've basically pushed him into that role because you felt unsafe and you wanted to be in control and have that ability to lead the relationship when actually you don't enjoy it and you feel dissatisfied with it. And he's actually not. This is what I was. The point I was going to make with it is he's actually dissatisfied with being in his feminine. He may not realize it. He may think because of his programming, because if he's used to it, that I enjoy this, this is what I want. But then when he is, if he's actually able to connect to his true masculine core, because all men have a masculine core inside, all women have a feminine core inside, if he can connect to his true masculine core, he's actually going to be much happier than he was before when he was living with this mask of being, this feminized, emasculated man. Um, so you're actually giving him a gift. When you do encourage a man, when you do call a man and inspire him into his devotion for you and his masculine, which is what we teach you how to do, he's actually going to be happier because it's a different form of happiness. It's the happiness, it's the joy that comes from having a purpose and a meaning of being responsible, of having people that you can be a hero for and protect and provide. And that's actually one of the reasons why we also have such a high epidemic of male suicide, is because men, they aren't happy. They aren't happy being just a man who plays video games and watches porn and, you know, not having a purpose, like men need a purpose, whether that's going to come from his career, whether that's come through military service, like a lot of men in history have done, which is why they'll die. Just as long as they can feel that their life has purpose and meaning. Or it can come from you. You can actually give him that purpose and meaning in your. In his life, that he gets to serve you. You are his great cause, you are his great war, his battle, that he gets to solve your problems, he gets to build the house, build the family, he gets to do things to make you happy. That's his purpose. So you actually awaken up a deeper satisfaction within him that he may not even know existed.

Yeah, and I appreciate the clarification on that because I wasn't suggesting that if he's not stepping up to immediately run away. And that's why I said if you've determined that you've got one of those men. But how do you determine that you've got one of those men? Well, you need to create the space through using your feminine powers to allow him to step up. Right. So that means you have to be in your feminine. You have to get out of your masculine, create the space, create opportunities for him to step up. Right. So this is something that you can do as a woman, is to create opportunities that give him the ability to actually step into it. And if you're doing that, if you're coming from your feminine and you're creating opportunities for him to step up and be your hero, and he's simply not doing it over and over again, despite the fact that you're creating the space, then you might realize that you have one of those. One of those perpetual children, and that's when you need to make a hard decision about whether or not you're going to stay with it.

Yeah. Oh, is that. I actually had a client who joined our Magnetic Feminine Coaching membership, and she had one of these men that she had been. She had a savior complex. So she was basically wanting to save him. He was a man. She said he was diagnosed with adhd, and he basically didn't really know how to run his life. He was addicted to video games. She kind of helped him with his business, and she was basically doing things for him and doing all of it. And she. She kind of gave him these excuses like these labels like adhd, add, ocd, even narcissism sometimes. Some of these labels we put on to ourselves and on the people that are in some ways sometimes just made up. They're just ways to justify why he acts that way or justify why he can justify to himself why he's not stepping up or why he's not able to do this and be in his masculine and do this and do that. And so then the woman feels compelled. She's like, I gotta save him. So yeah, she went through a 90 day challenge process with him and it became very apparent that he's, he's just broken. And, and now what happened is we actually got to look at her, why she attracted this kind of man into her life, why she was drawn to a man like this in her life, which went back to all for being completely in her masculine. She was living from her masculine out of a protection mechanism which goes back to issues that she's had from her childhood where she wanted to be the savior and she wanted to help and she wanted it. That's how she got her sense of love was like being the caretaker, helping and serving rather than having the man, him serving her. Him. Like what a concept. Like, what if he could actually serve you? What if he can actually give to you from his masculine, which the masculine gives, the feminine receives. Like at a very basic level. Right. So how could he actually be giving to her and she can inspire that. Unfortunately, with this man, it did turn out he was very broken. He was like not capable of it. But we were able to help her heal herself. So now she's much more available to actually attract high quality man into her life who wants to devote to her.

Yeah. And you know, since our audience here is primarily women, I really feel the need to reiterate this point because I see this with women more than men. And that is you can't fix them. I know, I've said it three times already. And you can't fix it.

So like write it on the back wall here.

You can't fix it. Right.

Make that a song.

Now you can support him in his journey. And as long as he's showing you that he's interested in wanting to go on that journey and he's actually taking action. Maybe he's reading books, you know, maybe he's taking some workshops, getting a mentor, getting a mentor, seeing a coach, you know, a therapist, whatever. As long as he's taking action and he's willing to go through the journey, great. But that's all you can do. You can inspire him, inspire to go on the journey, but you can't make him go on the journey and you can't force him to change.

Yeah, you inspire him through your, your feminine, you inspire him through these practices and magnetic feminine communication. And I wanted to give you a couple because I'm sure some of you are also wondering, like, what are some Specific things I can do around that I want to give you just a couple, just so you can chew on. One thing you can do right now is ask him for advice. Like, ask a man for advice or help with something. That's an easy way. You can test a man and also inspire him through your feminine. Ask him to do something for you. Ask him to help you put the groceries away. Ask him to. But that's not even a great example. Like, what's even better is, like, something where he gets to be a man. Yeah.

Where he gets to be the hero.

He gets to be a hero. Something where he's, like, solving a pressing issue for you or he's able to use his strength in some way. Like, can you. That's The Easy Stereotype 1. Can you open this for me? Can you fix this for me?

Hey, my car was making a funny noise. Can you take care of it? And look, I know some of the. If there's any guys listening to this, some of them are going, I don't know how to work on cars. Like, you don't have to know how to fix it, Although you'll get bonus points if you do. All you need to do is take care of it. Even if that means, I will take care of it. I get in the car, I hear the noise. Okay, who's the right mechanic to take it to? I will take. I will schedule the appointment. I will take it there. I will pick it up. I will make sure that the mechanic did the right job. Right. You just need to take care of it. Doesn't mean you need to be able to fix it. Although she will actually give you bonus points if you can do it. But that's the idea is you create situations that allow him to step up and go, okay, I got this.

Yeah, allow him to be your hero. So powerful. And then the other real quick, like, specific thing I want to give you as well is share your appreciation when he does. Like, let him know how it makes you feel. I feel so cared for when you did that. Thank you so much. You're my hero. I feel so great. I feel so grateful. I feel so happy. I feel so joyful. You make me feel so happy. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate you. Give him a kiss. Give him a hug. Give him a warm smile. Love him up. That makes him feel like, oh, I just won. I did it. There was a Just like, the hero's journey, Right? So you're wanting to have a hero in your life. Give him a hero's journey. The hero's journey starts with there's a problem and the hero is called to action. And he goes, the problem is your car. He gets called to the action to solve the problem. He goes into the abyss and is working on fixing the car. Whether he takes it to the mechanic, he does it himself, whatever. He's going into the abyss and then he's coming out on the other side and he's able to bring back his treasure that he got. He fixed the car, he brought back his gifts to you, and that's the completion of the hero's journey. And at the very end, there's like the treasure waiting right where he gets the gratitude, the appreciation, the honor of the people, the world, or his woman, that he came and he completed the journey. And now that's waking up his masculine. We as men were programmed to constantly live these little heroes journeys in our lives. Where there's a problem, we got to solve it. Maybe society has a problem, we got to solve that. Maybe our neighborhood has a problem, we got to solve that. And we're called into these adventures because the masculine loves these adventures and we get to engage in them. So you can give your man these mini adventures that he gets to go on. Just like Hercules, just like Zeus, just like James Bond, just like Rambo, just like every ma. Every masculine movie you've ever watched. Top Gun, like, turn your man into Tom Cruise.

Yeah. There's a reason it shows up in all of those movies, because that's actually what is appealing to women.

Yeah, right.

Yes, Tom Cruise is a. Is an attractive looking man, but that's not really why women are tuning into those movies. They're tuning in because of who he is in those movies. Who is he in Mission Impossible? Right. Who is he in Top Gun? Yeah, right. That's what they're tuning in. And of course, you know, it's nice that he's easy on the eyes, but it's the same thing with, you know, the James Bond movies that you mentioned earlier. You know, people will criticize them today because they're taking them out of context. They're applying 2024 standards to movies that were made in the toxic masculinity. But that idea of that strong masculine who comes in and be the hero and saves the day, that is what is super attractive to women.

Yeah.

But if you don't create the space for us to be able to step up and be. You're Superman. Right. Then we can't do it.

Yeah. That's just beautiful because I love this because there doesn't need to be some grand Thing that he has to solve to feel like a hero. It can literally be in your relationship, all these little microwaves and bigger ways. He can. He can save you. He can save. Like we talked about my clients, she had the savior complex. Well, what if your man was the savior? What if he was able to save you? The damsel in distress, the knight in shining armor. He's able to solve these little things for you, and he feels like great. He feels like awesome. My life has purpose. I'm. I'm happy. He's happy if you're happy. That's where he gets a sense of purpose. That's why I say masculine and feminine, they feel happiness in different ways. Like, the masculine is more happy when you're happy. So he is meaning that's what makes him happy.

This is where a happy wife, happy life.

Yeah. That's where that concept comes from.

Where the concept comes from.

There's a lot of truth with that.

If she's happy, then we're happy. Literally.

Yeah. Yeah. And this is assuming he has care for your heart. And again, there is a percentage of men that are bad men that they're going to pull away. They're going to treat you bad, they're going to abuse you, they're not going to care about your heart. Using the 90 day challenge is going to help reveal that to you. The magnetic feminine 90 day challenge that we teach, or it becomes very clear you have to move on. That's how you inspire a man to actually shift from being a bad man to a good man to your king versus that. He's just clearly broken and you need to move on. But I wanted to bring in also today for this conversation because we're talking about why men pull away. Some interesting quotes. Here's what I want to start with. Men marry because they are tired. Women because they are curious. Both are disappointed. That's from Oscar Wilde. What do you think about that? Do you think men just commit because they're tired?

Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, yes. And it depends on the man. But I will say this. The type of man that you're looking for, the one that's really going to step up and be a king, won't marry because he's tired.

Yes.

I didn't get married until my 40s and. But I had some really amazing partners along the way. But I always felt like something was missing. Right. And I was not willing to compromise and, you know, get married and live, you know, for the next 20 or 30 years in a relationship that didn't really fulfill me. That didn't really satisfy me. And so, you know, those relationships ended for various reasons. It's not like I left every one of them. Some of them decided that I wasn't the right match for. For them. But the point is this is that, you know, a strong man who knows who he is and knows what he wants isn't going to compromise and he's not going to marry just because he's tired. So if he just gives in and is like, well, that's, you know, she's here, she's good enough. You know, she takes a couple of boxes, but not all of them. Like, if he's doing it for that reason, he's not yet fully embodied in his masculine king phase of his life.

Yeah, yeah. So it's about really inspiring a man to want to commit to you. And that's through you being what he wants. The match. The law of polarity. The law of polarity states that opposites attract. So we keep going back to this. But the more feminine you are, the more you're going to activate and attract masculinity in a man, which is the king energy. And masculine energy actually does want to commit because the masculine energy wants to serve. So a commitment, a masculine man sees commitment as a container of his service. So, like, he can actually serve you within the relationship. And now there's like, it's like a territory, right? So just like men throughout history, they wanted to conquer territory. They wanted to build kingdoms and expand empires. But in a small way in our modern society, like, you can be his empire, you can be his territory, your family, you, your relationship. Like, he claims you as his territory, and now this is his realm that he gets to serve. Like, he gets to protect and provide and make it a beautiful, amazing territory. This, this family, this, this relationship, like, that's where a masculine man gets his sense of purpose. So if you waken that in him and you inspire him to be in his full, healthy masculine energy, he want to commit because he'll say, like, I want to serve this territory. Once he starts feeling these feelings for you and feeling this purpose from you and feeling his hero acts, instinct activated, like, I want to serve. Like, this is my realm. You are my. You are my world. That's how you'll sometimes hear people, men will say this when they're falling in love. Like, you're my world. Like, you are it. Like, I serve you, basically, is what he's saying. And it's symbolic. When a man, you know, actually proposes to a woman and, and has a wedding, it's like he's putting this ring on. It's like, you are my. Like this is my. It's like a, you know, the astronauts putting the flag on the moon. It's like, you are my territory.

This is great. I love that you said that. You are my territory. This is a phrase that triggers so many people today, right. So many women freak out when they hear claiming their woman or, you know, this is my territory. But here's the little secret. If you're really honest with yourself, ladies who are listening to this, you actually want to be claimed. I have heard so many women tell me this. The ones that don't have an emotional reaction based on, you know, the current wokeness that's happening in the world, if they're really honest, they pause and they go, yeah, actually that's really what I want. Right? They want to be claimed. Now they can get triggered by certain words like your territory, you're my territory, or you're my property. Right? Because that, they'll associate that with old school, school, you know, ways of being that, you know, maybe happened in other cultures where women actually were property or things like that. But that's not what we're talking about here. What we're talking about is we claim you as you our ours. You are our woman, you are our queen. And we are dedicated to serving you and building a kingdom for you. Which is another point that you just brought up, which I love, which is that, you know, when we're single as men, yeah, some of us are still motivated to build our kingdom. But you'll notice that all of a sudden when a good woman comes into our life or say when we have children, all of a sudden there's something that gets triggered where we're like, okay, now it's on now.

Can't just play around anymore. It's a real, this is a real deal I'm building here. I'm making. I'm responsible. That's another word around. It's like responsibility. I'm responsible for her happiness. That's like a big way. And when a man sees a woman as his responsibility, it's like, I'm like taking responsibility now for this, which is you, which is our relationship. I want to make it amazing. I want to make it happy. I want to make you happy. And that's like, that's where he gets that activation. Like, I'm responsible now.

Yeah, it's like, oh, oh.

But it feels good to him. It feels like a good responsibility, like a hero, like the, the person who's responsible for his country by going to war. It's like, it feels like now it's, there's purpose and meaning behind that.

Yeah, well, and this is one of the big things that I'm constantly trying to teach men when I work with men is, is this is your job, this is your role. Learn how to step up and really take it. So there are some men that once they get a good woman or once they start to create a family, it's just, it's natural instinct, it gets triggered and they're like, all right, I got to build my kingdom. This is why you'll see men work 60 or 70 hours a week and get two jobs so that they can make sure that their kid has everything it needs and that they've got a house for their family. Right. And they've got college money saved up and all that kind of stuff. But, but other men, more, in today's modern society with the younger men, they haven't learned that that value hasn't been instilled in them. And so I'm working really hard on that and to try to get them to see the value of doing this and sort of wake that instinct up again inside them.

Yeah, that's why it's like bypass. Like, once they get closer to the core and actually see the masculine joy of being in service, the masculine joy of being responsible, like, they'll truly enjoy it, they'll truly love it because they'll feel more empowered as a man. Like, hey, I can actually provide. And not only that, I can make other people happy. Like, that's a, that can become addicting for a man that he just like, it becomes like, that's his new video game. Right? Like, how can I make the family better? How can I make my relationship better? How can I make my woman happier? How can I solve this problem? How can I solve that problem? How can I anticipate problems? What kind of what, what problems might we face in the future? How can I make sure we're prepared financially with our house, with our living situation, with our health, with our diet? Like, how can I. So that's what, like for me, for example, we have a. Me and my wife have a two year old daughter. Like, that's where my brain is at most of the time. I'm anticipating what needs to be fixed. Oh, we're having issues cutting the watermelon. Okay, I order, I'm going to order a watermelon cutting knife on Amazon. I'm going to make sure nobody gets cut. I make sure it's a good one. Or, oh, what's another issue? Like, our daughter was sick the last couple days. So it's like, okay, do we have all the medicines we need? What's the protocol? How can we put the protocol out? Okay, I got to teach the nanny. This is the new protocol. Let's check in. How feel that? Does the baby still have a temperature? So it's like, I get proactive in. Like, let's solve the problem. This is my territory. Like, I. If somebody's sick in my territory, if something's not happy, I gotta fix it and I gotta help anticipate that this doesn't happen again or that we're prepared. And so it feels good. It's like, that's my new video game. Like, I used to play video games when I was younger. I was sort of addicted to video games. I'd probably say addicted in some way. And I still enjoy them occasionally. But my new video game is just life. It's my life, it's my business, it's my relationship, it's my family. And that's enough to occupy a man. Like, when you can get him excited about those things, when you reward him through appreciation, through your femininity, through honoring him, trusting him, respecting him, letting him feel when he's doing a good job and not just sharing just your positive feelings, but also letting him know when he's not doing a good job, but doing it vulnerably. Doing it in the way we teach feminine vulnerability. Sharing your emotions without attacking him, blaming him, criticizing him, but just, like, letting him feel the impact. Like, I feel sad right now. I feel hurt. I feel anxious. I feel fear. And then let him solve the problem. Like, why are you afraid? Why are you anxious? What happened? What can I do differently? What do you need? What do you. Yeah, how can we put a system in place that this doesn't happen again? So that's what you activate within him when you're using the principles we teach.

Do you have any other quotes in there?

Yeah, so let's get some other good ones in here. So this one actually comes from a study. It's called Fear of Commitment. So a study by Solomon and Nobla, 2004. This study found that men often experience a heightened level of anxiety about commitment. The fear of losing independence or making a wrong choice can cause them to pull away. So a fear of losing independence or making the wrong choice.

Yeah, that can definitely happen. The fear of independence thing is a big thing. So if we. If we go back to our three main categories and we say we have a Bunch of subcategories. Well, let's say in category number three, which is he's feeling all these feelings like, oh, like, I really love her and this could get serious. And, like, this could be a serious commitment. There may be a fear that comes up there that is like, but if. If I really commit to this, I might lose my independence. That's a possibility. If you are really operating from your feminine and you have a healthy relationship, there's no reason why he should lose his independence. In other words, for a man, for any relationship, really, it doesn't matter. And this is true for women also. In fact, I did this in one of the other videos that was published on your channel very recently. And one of the things I said was men need to go out and spend time with other men, just like women need to go out and spend other time with women. The idea is that in a healthy relationship, you have the two of you in the relationship that you've created, but you also have interests outside of that, so that you're not 100% dependent on just that person in your relationship. So for men, that looks like getting together with some other men, doing sports, maybe going to a sports thing or whatever it is, male bonding, what they call cave time, is super important for us. So you, as ladies, the reason why I'm saying this is you need to create space for that to happen in the context of the relationship so that you can show him that there isn't going to be a loss of independence. Right. So, honey, I love you and I love spending time with you. And yes, it's okay to go fishing with the guys. Right. You know, I'm not going to ask you to sell your boat or sell your sports car or whatever. You know, obviously, if times are tough and you need to support the family, something like that may come up. But in general, you let him know that you are willing to support him having those outlets. Right. So that there is no loss of independence. There is, of course, a stereotype in society that, well, once you get married, that's it, it's all over. No more going out with the boys.

The old ball and chain.

The old ball and chain, right. Yeah, exact. So it's your job as the feminine to show him that that's not what you want to do. You're not there to control him. You're not there to radically change his life. Right. You are there to grow a relationship, but also allow him the space to be him.

Yeah. It's so beautiful. You know, my wife is really. Was really had A powerful mindset around that actually, when we were getting married. And I feel like she adopted this because my wife Antia, she has videos on our channel as well. And she talks about how she was is very powerful coach. And she was talking about how when she was learning her journey of having a great relationship attracting amazing relationship with a man, one of the things she learned was how to protect a man's independence and how to encourage him and how to give him that space to be his own man so you can have a healthy interdependent relationship. Not where you're too, you know, I'm an independent woman. I don't need no man. And not where you're like, I need a man. I have to have a man. I can't live without a man. But you're like in the middle, right? You're in the middle. We call it the queen, where you have a healthy independence, where you need him, you like him in your life, but you don't need him for everything, for your happiness, your sense of well being. And you don't need to have him around you all the time, but you give him space. You have this healthy interdependence and that's the goal. And you can communicate that and you can use that with magnetic feminine polarity and communication. And then. So what we did with our wedding is during the wedding, we actually had this phrase that we created. She actually was a big part. Her idea was because she knew I had a fear of commitment as a lot of men do. It's a study is saying right here, I had some fears coming up around getting married. And I was. We were honest with each other about our deepest fears. Before we got married, we actually did what's called a shadow ceremony where we shared our deepest fears and anxieties and, you know, dark things that we had shame around before we got married. It's just like really be authentic with each other. And we also did a version of that in front of our family when we were actually at the wedding ceremony as well. That was very interesting. But one of the things we did when we got married, we said, with this ring, I set you free.

Ooh.

So it's a total shift in mindset of like, what if marriage? And just a shift in belief. It's tiny, but it's a huge. Making a huge difference. Like, what if the idea of commitment, the marriage actually was a gift that actually allowed you to become more free. Now that you have this safety container, you can actually be more of yourself. You can actually do more activities. You have this home base just like an attachment theory. One of the reasons why a child will become a secure attachment style is because they had this secure home base growing up, which then allowed them later in life to be more free to actually express themselves in a full, full spectrum of who they are and to be. Be able to have relationships where they don't need to be with the person all the time. And they can also be free and do their own things and they attract that healthy relationship because they're a secure attachment. You can create that in your relationship now by adopting the mindset. That commitment can actually be freedom in a lot of ways. Ways. And that's going to shift the mindset for you and just living that way. But then also you can have these conversations with your man. Like, look, I want our relationship to be where you feel more of who you are, you feel more free, you can do things that you love, and then we can also do amazing things together. I don't want you to ever feel like restrained by that. And if you do, we can have conversations about that. And of course, I have my needs, you have your needs. We both have desires. What we want, we can find, Win, win to meet those and then also have our individual expressions.

Yeah, absolutely. Couldn't agree more. That's, that's one, it's a big shift in the way you see things, the way you think about things. But two, it's super powerful. That idea of not only doing that practice but also doing it in front of the family, that is powerful because you're witnessed now and you're held accountable. Yeah, that's, that's really cool. I like that.

I highly recommend it. We can teach you more of that. How to do it in our magnetic feminine community. Magnetic feminine polarity coachings, coaching group and coaching programs is like how to set that container before you get married. Because obviously we're going to help you to get married. And then once you're into marriage, how to actually have that container in that wedding. If you want, we can teach you that because it is very powerful to do that in. Yeah.

Do you have any more quotes?

Yeah, we do. Unless there's something you want to say.

Well, I got, I got one more thing. If we have time. Yeah, we can squeeze it in.

If not. Yeah, we can do one or two more card. One more. Yeah. So let's, let's, let's do the quote and then we can see if anything else comes up. Okay. So Knoblach and Solomon. Is this the same one? Research indicates that men might pull away when they are uncertain about the relationship's future. This uncertainty can arise from doubts about compatibility, communication issues, or external stressors.

Yeah, so this is. This is category number two that I brought up. Something's going on in the relationship that they might see as being not right or incompatible. And, you know, they basically start to pull away, most likely because they didn't have the skills or emotional maturity to actually come to you and say, hey, here's something that I'm seeing. Let's. Let's work this out and see. Can we come to a place where we meet on this, or is this really an incompatibility that can't be resolved?

Yeah, yeah. No. Super important. And just rapid fire. A couple other little ones we had. In order for a man to commit, he needs to feel that his independence and sense of self are respected. We talked about that. That's actually perfect. Perfect for the. The ring metaphor. The ring, I set you free. When he feels these are threatened, he may pull away. So I think we've covered that already. Here's another good one. Men are more likely to withdraw when they feel that they are not meeting their partner's expectations, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

Yeah, that can be too. That. That would fall into that third category. Right. Where we talked about him feeling like he doesn't know how to be that man.

Right.

That's.

That.

That's that same one right there.

Yep. That's great. And then from Frederick Nietzsche. Nisha sometimes say that wrong. It's not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. So I thought that was an interesting quote, because the idea is also kind of like a fundamental compatibility. Like, do you guys share the same values? We were talking about my client, who. They had different religious values, but, like, are you able to have an actual. Just a normal friendship with each other, or is it attraction? Because he said love here, but I would put that in, is also attraction. Is it just attraction? Just chemistry, Just animal, you know, physical attraction? Maybe you guys have had sex before. You're in a friends with benefits situation, and yet you're not really aligned on your visions for the future. Your values, political, religious life, family. Your goals for family. Do you want kids? Does he want kids? You. You want to get married? Does he want to get married? That can cause a lot of issues, and that could definitely cause men pulling away.

I had a divorce attorney on my show, and the reason I had her on was because she wrote a book basically about why relationships end. And so we did an episode called Relationship Advice from a Divorce Attorney and she had it broken down into a couple of categories, but one of the biggest, most prominent categories was lack of shared values. Right. And so, you know, after years of being a divorce attorney, her whole goal now is to make people aware of the reasons why people get divorced. And if you, you know, you handle enough divorces, you find out why, like what's behind it, why are people actually getting divorced? And so what you're talking about, this, this, you can call it friendship, you can call it shared values, whatever it is, is critically important to having a healthy and sustainable long term relationship. There has to be some shared core values. And if they're not there, it's going to be a rough road and it's not likely to last long.

Yeah. So what I want you to be aware of is if you have a man right now that you are interested in, is it just attraction, is it just chemistry? Do you just crave to want to have sex with him, to want to have his connection? And you're not really thinking about, but are we actually a good fit? You know, are we actually compatible in deeper long term ways? Because you may be making excuses because here's the thing, we as humans, we act on emotion and we justify with logic. So emotionally you might be feel like, but I love him, but I love him, but I'm attracted to him, he's so great. But then you're, you're masking all the things that are glaring issues as far as like maybe he already is, he's in a relationship and he's not, you know, maybe, you know, he's in a relationship but you're still so attracted him that you're like, but he's gonna leave her. You know, he said, he told me he's gonna leave her. Or he's, you know, he told me that he's gonna, you know, come fly and we're gonna be together. Or you know, I have another client where he lives in a different country and he's basically not talking to her at all. But she's still like making up all these stories and excuses like, oh, but he's just having a lot of stress right now. Or he's, he's trying to get his finances in order to come see me. Because that's what he told me. Even though he won't talk to her, he won't even talk to her. So how's that a sign that he's actually working? So are you telling yourself stories and making up these beliefs, these mindsets that are actually just based on you being attracted to him or because you slept with him. Which is another big reason why we recommend, I highly recommend not having sex with a man until you're claimed by him. Until you're an exclusive relationship, ideally. And not just that exclusive, but he's really claimed you with his actions, with his words. Because it's so easy to then get overly attached to him, to feel like he's going to, to, to become anxious and to try to be, to control the relationship. Try to lead him from your masculine. Because now you've had sex, biologically you can be more attached to him and you can make excuses when you actually, you're not compatible. So watch out for that. Do you have any thoughts on that?

You're, you're gonna bond with him. The second you have sex with him, you're gonna bond with him, right? And so this is, you know, when we talk about the honeymoon period that can last anywhere from a year to two years, right? This is where all the chemicals are flowing and you're, your body is releasing all of these feel good things that allow you to overlook all the other things that, you know, two years into the relationship you're like, and he does this and he does that, right?

Like Tony Robbins says, usually will end up hating all the things that you love the most about him, right? Oh, he's so outgoing. Or the things you admire, he's so outgoing. And then later in your marriage, like, why can't you just spend more time with us? Why do you always have to be with your friends? Or why do you have to always talk to other people when we're out? And so it's like the things that you love about him, be very careful because they might be the things you hate the most about him.

Several years they can be. And that's why it is a good idea to take the time. You know, if you're seriously thinking about getting married and you think this person might be long term relationship marriage material, you know, father to your children material, take the time to really get to know him and let yourselves in that relationship. Get past that honeymoon phase. Because when the chemicals stop flowing, that's when the rubber hits the road. That's when you find out, can we actually be together right now? That doesn't mean you have to wait two years to have sex with them. That's not what I'm saying. But before you actually really commit to that marriage, make sure that you're not just being influenced by the chemicals. Now for some people, they know that much sooner than two years. But for some people, they're still out in fantasy land orbiting some other planet for the first year and a half.

And this is the last thing I'll say on this piece, but it's very important, is he might know before you do. And so that's why the feminine bonds faster than the man does through sex, like emotionally. So he might actually know. He might be. He might have not even seen it ever as a relationship potential. And he's just like, oh, sex, cool. Free sex. Like, this is great. I love it. We'll be friends. We're just cool, we're just having fun. But then you're thinking all of a sudden, like, oh, this is my future husband, this is my man, this is my soulmate, this is my blah, blah, blah. And so. But he's already seeing like, girlfriend. Like, we're not compatible. Like, he may already know. Like, no, we are just like, you may like me right now, you may be very attracted, but I already know this is not a long term situation. Like, there's no way. We both have completely different goals. I have a kid, you know, I want to have kids. You don't want to have kids. I'm this and you're that. Like, he may already know that you guys aren't compatible. But yeah, he was just wanting to have sex. He maybe enjoyed it. Maybe for whatever reason, maybe he was lonely and you were available and you guys connected on some level. But he's like, this isn't like a, this is not going to be a good situation for us long term. Which is again why it's so important to have these conversations or at least to be aware of before you have sex with a man. Like, do you have this level of compatibility and is it also a committed thing where he claims you so that, you know, he actually sees it as a relationship.

But I'll tell you what a mind trip this can sometimes be. I mean, I had many years ago when I was younger, I was in a relationship with a woman who I thought actually we might get married. And that relationship ended, wasn't something that I wanted. And I was pretty emotionally upset about it. But I ended up getting close with somebody that I already knew who was a friend. And I straight up from the beginning said, listen, I'm not emotionally available for you right now. I am not looking for a long term relationship because I personally can't handle it right now. But if you just want to hang out, like, you know, we were friends, we were both rock climbers and we like to go climb together, if you're okay with us relating on that level. Great. To which you said, oh, yeah, no problem. I totally get it. Then of course she bonds and she wants more, to which I'm not capable of doing it, and it caused a big problem. So the reason I'm using that as an example is because even sometimes when we outright tell you this, you are so influenced by the chemicals in the bonding that you just. You don't hear.

Or the attraction.

Or the attraction. You can't even hear it. Even though we're literally outright telling you those words.

Yeah. So it's great to remind yourself because the feminine is emotional. The feminine is the body and the heart. The masculine is the mind and the brain. We all have masculine and feminine energies will tap into our minds, our body at different times. But primarily the feminine is in the body and the emotions and the heart. So here's the thing to realize. You're going to act more likely with a man from your heart and your emotions than you are from your mind, even more so than a man will. Man much more likely to act from his head than from his emotions. But even men will do this too. So always just remind yourself it's the good phrase. Humans, we act on emotion, we justify with logic. We act on emotion, we justify with logic. So just to give yourself a step back to say, like, I want him right now, that's emotional. But what's the actual logic here? What's the actual reason here? Just to try to. Just try to get some distance into some perspective. To like, just ask yourself the basic question, like, are we a good match? Like on a real level, like, are we a good match for, like, I want a relationship long term, Is he a good match for me long term? And if the answer is no, do not get involved with him even on a friends with benefits level, because you're going to get attached. You're going to keep wanting to see him because you're going to justify it. You're going to justify it with logic later and say, well, oh, but you know, he is. He did say that maybe someday, you know, it's possible. Or he did say that he may be open to having kids at some point. Or he said, you know, he is interested in Christianity or he is interested in Islam or whatever. So he's going to like, maybe you'll have these stories you tell yourself that are like fabrications and so you just want to be careful of that.

So younger me actually believed her when she said it wasn't a problem and she was okay with it.

More mature men will know that that doesn't mean anything.

Much more gray now older me would not actually get involved in that situation.

Because they're like, no, it's very sweet. I know you, you said you think that because we know you think that you're going to be okay, but I know you're actually, actually not going to be okay with that situation after we have sex.

Exactly.

You're going to be very attached and it's not going to be good for either of us, which is a good conversation because then, you know. Yeah, it really depends on how can we find this. Win win. Because there may be some situations still where you can just have a purely sexual connection with a woman, but it's a certain type of woman that would be available to that actually more promiscuous woman. This has been shown scientifically. More promiscuous women have actually reduced pair bonding. And men are, in general, it's. They have a reduced pair bonding because they're men and they want to spread their seed. But women and women have a tendency for more parent bonding. However, if they've been promiscuous for most of their life, which means, you know, probably, I don't know if there's a number on that dozens of sexual partners, their pair bonding is actually reduced. And those women may be capable of just having purely sexual relationships with men because they've already kind of of destroy their own paired bonding mechanism.

Well, and you'll, you'll find that those women and they do exist, there's plenty of them out there. Those women are primarily operating from their masculine.

Yeah, that's true. Yep. Yeah. So that, that would make sense. It's almost like they've internally shifted in the masculine where now it's like, oh, I want to have sex with as many people as I can and I want to spread my seed. It's kind of like the mode that they get into. Anyways, we've covered a lot today. It's been a very interesting conversation. And this whole what we mentioned so many times about masculine feminine polarity, masculine feminine communication, these are really some of the biggest keys if you are tired of a man pulling away, losing interest if he hasn't texted you back for a couple days. If you're wondering what's going on, we can help you with that. We can help you to shift. It starts with stepping into what we're teaching you here. Magnetic feminine polarity. Magnetic feminine communication and mastering it. And both me and Kevin are teaching this and we're going really deep into our, in our coaching programs and the courses we have available. So what I'd highly recommend, if you haven't yet, is taking our free gift, which is our free Magnetic Feminine Polarity Quiz, which you can get by going to what's. What's yours now. It's called Polarity Quiz.

Yeah.

Go to polarityquiz.com polarityquiz.com or you can click on the link in the description or comments below this training or in the bio, depending on where you're watching this video and you'll get that free quiz. There's many gold nuggets in there that's going to get you on the right track, help you with your man, and ideally get you the support you need, the resources, maybe we can even coach you directly to actually master this in your life and have a beautiful, amazing relationship with him. Maybe a marriage, maybe a family, depending on what your goals are with him. Like we've seen so many crazy stories turn around once you actually start embodying these principles because you inspire him to want to change. You inspire him to want to give to you. You inspire him to enter his masculine and claim you and so you don't have to wonder anymore if he really cares about you. And you can feel cherished and loved and supported rather than not prioritized or dis. Disappointed or dis. What's the word? Ignored. I guess I'm looking for the word ignored. There's another word for that. And so yeah, highly recommend getting that. And then also if you want to follow Kevin, you have your YouTube channel as well for more of what you you cover.

Yeah, you can follow me at Kevanand Celine. So just type in Kevin and Celine searching for channels on YouTube. You can also follow me at the Love Lab podcast, which you can watch on any major podcast platform. You can listen to it on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, the two biggest. And it's also on YouTube on my YouTube channel.

Much love. We hope this was helpful to you. Leave your comments below. Any questions, confusions. You have triggers. If you're triggered, please let us know so we can help. Because usually the trigger, as my wife says, the trigger is the treasure. So wherever you're triggered, there's actually a great opportunity to break through to a new level of insight and expansion for your relationship and your life in general. So. So it's great to hear those. So much love. Take care and we'll talk to you soon.