Make Him OBSESS By Doing THIS?

How to make him worry about losing you. Now, in this video, you will discover some of my hacks that I designed that are highly effective and really work on the unconscious mind of a man. And also foster long term trust and confidence inside of yourself as well so that the dynamic is sustainable. Hey, Auntie Boyd. With Magnetize youe Man, and together with my husband Brody, which you've seen a lot of times on here, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get a committed, connected and long term relationship that they desire fast. So let's go ahead and dive right in. So number five is how to make him worry about losing you is how to own your shame shields. See, a man actually like sort of knows how to control his woman where he's not worried about losing you because he knows exactly where you are at any given time and can put you in your place when you're actually reactive towards things that trigger shame inside of you. So, for example, like if he knows that you have a trigger towards you don't want to be ever considered selfish or you don't ever want to be considered arrogant, well then in moments when he's like, oh, I don't know where Susie stands right now, you know, let me pull one of these triggers of her fear of being selfish or fear of being arrogant. And because you have a shame response to it, he's like, oh, okay, you're still in the same place, right? However, if you are able to own those same shields, okay, that's incredible because that actually shows a man that you have this intrinsic confidence that he can control you. He doesn't know where you're at at any given time. So for example, when I was dating this guy and he wanted to use one of those shame shields, by the way, we do this very unconscious, right? So no man is going out in a vicious way and we're saying no. But, you know, the majority of men does not go out in a vicious way and is saying, okay, let me control my woman and let me put her in her place. So this is all very unconscious. So this man wanted to particularly, you know, put me back into that. He knows where I'm at. And we were dating and he also wanted some space. And so he actually used that, you know, my sort of wound is to feel, you know, let's say needy or clingy, right? So at the time I had like a shame response to that, but because I had actually learned how to own my shame shields is when he told me that I kissed too much or I hugged too much, I'm too affectionate. Whatever the case may be, it was something like that that I was simply to just respond to, yes, I agree, and what else is new kind of a response? Because I didn't feel, you know, oh my gosh, I need to now justify it or I feel so embarrassed or I deny it and I just pretend I'm not needy or I'm not clingy that a lot of women can go into, you know, they can really go into sort of denying themselves, abandoning themselves, and of course, ultimately get abandoned by their man. Now, in this particular case, because I owed my shame shield, he actually exposed his, you know, and that was actually like, he didn't want to feel uncomfortable. So he said, oh, no, no, no, no, I'm just joking. So he went into his shame shield of denial and he actually totally backtracked. He said, oh, but this, you know, no, I love exactly who you are and how much you hug and kiss, and it's great. I love that you're so affectionate. And he not only said that in that moment, but he actually pursued me for a long time, you know, called me, texted me all these things, checked in with me. And I think it's really because he's like, oh, I don't know where this woman is at, right? So I could lose her, so I better see stay on my toes. Number four is increase your emotional range. Now, when men actually feel like, you know, they're not afraid to lose you, it's because you become very predictable, you know, so they're kind of like, no, you know, Mary's constantly, you know, she's always collapsing into helplessness or into sadness. And there's just a very one dimensional emotional expression from you, right? Instead of actually seeing like, oh, wait a minute, there's like a range of emotions. So I don't really know what I'm gonna get today, right? Like, I don't know if, you know, I'm gonna get like the happy Mary or if I get the sad Mary or if I get the angry Mary or if I get exhilarated, like. And so, but it has to be authentic. And so what I mean by that is, like, it has to be embodied. It can come from an manipulative place, right? But one of the things that women that people actually reported when they were surveyed about charismatic people, like, what are some of the traits that charismatic people have? It was indeed a wide range of emotions. And so it really showed, like, I don't really know who this person is, right? This is Person, like more like the little girl and. And, like, very playful, right? Or like this fiery, like, wild woman. And just. Just so much range. It's so interesting to engage with every sep. Separate archetype because it brings out a different archetype inside of the man, so that the man actually has what's called a state change. And so, you see, when we have a state change, we go into action. You know, when we have a state change, things become very interesting. You're very curious, very intrigued. And so that's, of course, the opposite of somebody taking you for granted now. But again, you know, of course, I can see you already saying, well, that sounds so exhausting, and I don't want to play any games. No, girlfriend, this energy is already inside of yourself. There's just a story that you have around it, a judgment that you have around it, like a coping mechanism that you have around it that keeps you from fully stepping and tapping into different parts of you. So, for example, if you've been, like, a very strong worker bee and you've always been, like, legit, and you're very successful in your career, like my clients are, right, Then you got a lot of payoffs from that. So there's a lot of certainty, there's a lot of safety. And so it's kind of like, oh, if I step into, like, a different energy of me that may or may not be there, I may not feel as safe because it's very much outside of my comfort zone. But it's interesting because we also want the man to step outside of his comfort zone as well, and we want him to share something vulnerable or something that he normally doesn't share or grow together with him. So if that's the kind of relationship that you want is actually having a man who grows with you, then you also have to be willing to step outside of your comfort zone, you know, do something different. And so I remember when I actually stepped sort of into my Wild Woman, I just really feel sort of like that fire, you know, that rage, you know, just that, like, this intensity inside of my body, you know, of course, that was. There was some scariness that came with that. However, there is also a lot of magnetism that came with that as well. Right. Because it is part of my colors. Like, it's part of my fabric, of my emotional fabric inside of myself. And again, a man becomes, like, very curious about that. And the best thing is if he's like, wow, he experienced himself in a way he hasn't experienced himself before, number three goes a little bit along with that, and that is own your weird. So there's this, like, dating show, it's called Dating Around. If you haven't watched it on Netflix, go ahead. I recommend it, but I really love it because it shows, like, either one woman or one man going on a date with a couple different men or women. By the way, Buddy and I were working on a really exciting project, so we're going to bring something juicy to. To you guys as well here. But in this particular show, you can really see how people are sort of like tiptoeing and sort of, you know, like, like, okay, I'm not gonna say too much. I'm not gonna say not enough, right? It's just sort of, you know, being just right, you know, because I don't want to, you know, trip someone up or I don't want somebody to think I'm weird. Own your weird girlfriend. You know what I mean? And so when you own your weird, what you consider weird, it's maybe actually really fascinating and interesting to a man or it may open up conversations that you wouldn't otherwise have. So one of the weird things that I did back in the day when I did speed dating, it was so, so fun, but I got a little bored, so I said, I have to do something different. So I said, you know, what if you were an animal, what would you be and why? You know? And so it's kind of like, own your weird, right? Because you can just be so playful with that, right? I would be a Scorpio. And you have to be careful that I don't sting you or I would be, you know, I got like such fun answers from guys. Like, guys are so fun, but, like, you also have to give them the opportunity to show that to you, actually. So creative. I got so many different answers from guys. Like, from parrots, of course, a predictable lion, to a dog, to, you know, whatever. And then you're like, I don't know, I like that answer, right? But you can also see if somebody can kind of hang with you and kind of joke with you and just kind of, you know what I mean? Do something different, right? And so it's kind of like improv, if you've ever done an improv class. But when you own your weird, like, you become like, really magnetic to the right man. Because it's sort of that particular, you know, texture and color that he's looking for. He's looking for that, like, authentic and real and raw and feminine. It's like self expression. And he actually doesn't care if it's like, weird or whatever it is. You know, when I met my husband Brody, I would do like, the chicken dance. I would do a fish dance. I would just make up so many silly things. And my husband really loved it because for one, again, it caused the state change inside of himself. He's like, what the heck is happening? You know? But also he got to actually, like, really see, oh, what is happening inside of me, you know, what do I want to express? You know, when you guys kind of do that dance together in. In life and you enjoy all the different perspectives, that's when marriage relationships become, like, really fun and you explore different levels of yourself. And also, by the way, just as a side note, because I hear this a lot from women when they come to me, you actually avoid finding out about things that he was hiding from you later. And the reason why is because you create this authentic, transparent atmosphere without telling him, hey, tell me what to tell me. You could tell me anything. You know, we can have this. Honestly, like, no, you're actually showing it to him. You are actually handing him a resume. And so his nervous system is saying, oh, where else can I be more honest? Or where else can I be more myself? Or where else? What do I want to explore something different? And this is a woman I can actually share that with, right? So it's actually like a golden key that sort of really unlocks that deepest level of intimacy. And that's also what puts you apart from so many other women. Because, you know, like, other women he may relate to on, like, one level, but not on another. You know, you're connecting on all levels when you are stepping into this particular energy and own your weird. Do weird things. You know, When I met my husband, another thing I did is because I come from Germany. So originally, I mean, we live here in San Diego, but originally, you know, we were. I didn't. I used like, some sort of, like, German mottos and. But they didn't make any sense in English. And so he would just bounce off them. And it would be, like, hilarious if you watch some of our super old videos together. Absolutely funny. And so, you know, you turn sort of like your mess into your message, right? You don't try to be perfect because people, like, they admire perfect people, but they fall in love with. With imperfect people. So if you show like, oh, that's a little odd, you know what I mean? But it's like, so adorable about this person. Like, I actually that. That's what I love the quirks about this person. Number two is share Your concerns early and authentically. Now we're going to tap a little bit into a part that's more, you know, that's a little bit more, quote unquote, serious. And that is actually a queen sets boundaries early. So what I hear from a lot of women when they come to me is that, you know, they didn't say anything in the beginning because they wanted to keep things light. And you notice this whole, like, sort of like feminine teaching, like feminine teaching schools out there, you know, saying, you know, just keep it light, just keep it fluffy. And, you know, just the first three months just, you know, I don't believe in any of that because so what happens is you're actually setting up an unconscious expectation in a man, like how the relationship goes that's actually not sustainable. It's so unreasonable. And then when you come in, like three months later and tell him like, oh, by the way, you know, what you mentioned about, you know, your belief about rescuing animals, or what you mentioned about, you know, eating meat, or what you mentioned about, whatever this, you know, actually, you know, I don't like that. I actually never like that. But, you know, I wanted to keep it light and fluffy. The first three months, you know, the man is going to be like, wait, hold on. Who am I dating? You know, am I dating Gabby? Or am I dating? Like, who am I dating? Am I dating the person that I met? Am I dating the person now? And that causes mistrust. That's also where men start to distance themselves because the confused mind says no. Right? So at the end of the day, we have this part inside of our brain that wants to protect yourself when you get mixed messages because you don't know what is on the other side of those mixed messages. Okay, so what you want to do instead is actually really authentically ask the questions. You know what I mean? If you can share something with them. And by the way, I personally love that, because when you think about, you really want to make sure that your man is never in a defensive state, because when he's in a defensive state, when you bring something up, it's never going to be conducive. Like, it's not going to go anywhere and it's definitely not going to translate into any changed actions that you would like, right? And also like for you to actually speak into what feels edgy from the get go and say, let's say how you feel or maybe even understand that you don't even know how you feel. And this is one part of the work that we do here. At Magnetize youe Men, helping you actually identify how you feel. Not describing how you feel, but what is the actual feeling like that actually lands for a man. It makes actually a massive impact. And I know Buddy's been on here so many times, and he always talks about all this powerful work that he's done with men for 10 years and working on the deepest intense fears and insecurities that men have, right? And so there's certain ways how you actually get to a man's heart. What it's like just really being able to feel into the authentic emotion that you feel, whatever the raw and real emotion is. And, you know, it's interesting, when I was able to actually do that with my husband, he actually fully responded to me. And I think also that's why men, before I met Brody responded to me as well, because the energy was right, you see, because when you have the right energy, you can say the wrong thing. You could actually say the wrong thing. You're like, I actually just. I didn't even know what I was saying. You know what I mean? It sounded like Swahili mixed with French mixed with Italian. Like, I don't even know. You know what I mean? If you understood what I was saying. But you still end up with the right outcome. And the reason why is because nervous systems speak to each other, right? So when your energy is congruent, the words are such a very tiny, small percentage of your communication, right? Like the energy, your body language, your sound of voice is a million times more impactful than. Than the words that you use. So that's why share your concerns early and authentically. He knows where you're at. You know, men have actually reported back to us that they love and they know where the woman is at. And that oftentimes leads to them, like proposing to them. You know, I mean, several men said that. And the reason why I actually end up proposing to her is because I know where she's at, you know, I know how to make her happy. I know what strategies I have to employ, you know what I mean, to make her feel safe again and so on and so forth. So it makes a man feel like he's capable of providing for you, you know, and for making you happy, for supporting you, number one. And you may not like to hear that, especially if you're more anxious. Attachment style or fearful for an attachment style is detach from future projection. Okay, so. So here's a story from 2008, or I think something like that. So I dated this guy, and he lived in Chicago. I lived in LA at the time, I think, and you know, we just kind of messaging back and forth on one of those like dating sites for like maybe a couple weeks. And I of course, had so many future projections that he is in love with me and that he's the right one. And my mom was. Would leave me voice messages and saying like, oh, I think he's your soulmate. And. But in reality, we haven't even. Hadn't even met. We had maybe a handful of calls for like maybe 30 minutes and that's it, right? So I just had such a small like, you know, impression of who he is, of his archetypes, of his life, of his perspectives. But the. The rest I just projected onto him. Like that didn't serve me at all because of course, once he actually stopped communicating with me, imagine that, because I became so anxious and I became, you know, more needy and he's like, what the heck? We've been just talking for a couple weeks, you know, I don't even know who you are. And he actually backtracked and he ended up being probably more on the avoidant side anyways. But because I had projected so much onto it, for me there was so much more on the line. So for me, I almost went through a grief process of a lost life. But that life was never even supposed to be become that life that was not even a possibility that this could be become the life that I wanted. You desire that I wanted, you know, like whatever. Moving in together with him, going on trips of him, whatever we visualize as women, right? And so what you want to do instead is when you notice, like, let's say you're just going on a first date or a second date and you notice like, oh gosh, you know, I'm so excited for the third birth date. And you're already projecting into the future and you know, he's already telling you that he's introducing you to his parents or whatever the case may be is like really sort of visualizing as if you're pulling yourself back and you're really seeing. Okay, hold on a second. What has actually happened? Okay, well, let's remove all the stories and all the interpretations and all the wishful thinking and all of that. And then you see, well, wait a minute. We actually just texted three times and actually it wasn't even a long thread. Actually, I texted like way more than him. You know, he sent me like, you know, one sentence and I sent him a novel to which he then responded with an even shorter sentence. In all Of a sudden, everything becomes so clear. The veil is being lifted, you know, so that's what can happen. And you also trust yourself more because what actually happens when we attach, we become anxious. And the reason why we become anxious is because we kind of know that if you were to visualize like a projector back in the day, right, we don't use that anymore. Like, you were projected something onto the wall. And so. But your brain actually knows unconsciously that it's a projection. So it gets really anxious because the brain's already waiting for the rejection or for the abandonment or disappointment gonna happen. Because your brain unconsciously knows that it's projection. But if you're able to remove yourself from that, then you're actually like, okay, I'm in here. I'm in the now. I'm taking one step at a time. And so that's. That's what's gonna be really helpful for you to actually stay also, like, interesting in his eyes, because he knows that this is a woman who. Who has two feet on the ground, you know, and who actually also, like, takes the time to get to know him and not just project some sort of boyfriend, you know, a relationship vision into the future that may have nothing to do with him, and he may feel like you just want to fill a gap. All right, so we're about to hop into Q and A because that's a nice thing about live streams here. So you can start. You can start popping your comments and questions into the chat. And I just want to let you guys know, if you are looking for a deep, connected, long term relationship, then take our free magnetize your man quiz to get the relationship you desire. Or you can, of course, click on the link in our bio or the comments below or simply hop on over to magnetize your man. And I already see the comments coming in. So let's see what we got here. All right. Awesome. Laura just said I got engaged. This is amazing, Laura. Fantastic. And Shauna said, what did it say? Congratulations on your engagement. How great for you. We did. Where did your fiance pop the question? Well, we've been actually married for 10 years, Shauna, but yeah, thanks. You know, it's always like it to continue to visualize getting engaged over and over again. And my husband actually, he proposed to me at a Thai restaurant. Thai is my favorite food. And it was not so much like where he proposed to me. It was more the timing. You know, I love that you bring that up, Shauna, because I was actually the biggest B the night before. And so I was not expecting it at all. Now I actually knew the engagement was coming because he had asked me two months prior, which was Valentine's Day, for my ring size. You know, if any men are watching, I highly recommend not asking your girlfriend for their ring size because now we get a little bit, you know, caught up with expectations, you know. So anyways, yeah, so I was like in total shock when he proposed to me. But the beautiful thing is, right, like, he was really marrying me for my beat, not because I did something or I didn't do something. And I think that's like a huge distinction there because otherwise we women could just like really keep track. Oh, now I'm not worthy anymore. Oh, now I went into this particular energy now that he's definitely not going to like that. That's not how love works, you know, and he told me later on that he had already decided that he's going to propose to me. He had already decided that months earlier. And so usually unless there's like a massive disruption, not just like being a biatch, I guess, the night before, usually man doesn't change his mind with that. But yeah, thanks for that. Lastly, my boyfriend came to mine after work tonight. I had made chili yesterday, but I had went for a nap today and my daughter has ate half the sauce, not realizing it was for him. When I told him, he picked his phone up and phoned his aunt and asked her if she had dinner yet and if she wanted to phone a Chinese. I feel so confused and hurt as he seems nice. Am I being too sensitive? Okay, so I'm not sure if that's like a communication breakdown. Meaning, like he called his aunt because he's now seen if she has dinner for him. So whoever has the dinner, that's. That's the one who wins the prize, right? And you know, so there's like a couple different pieces, right? Of course there's of course the for oneness, like the option to actually hold on, let me just kind of. Okay, let's see. Stick this down here. So of course there's like the option to like actually share your feelings with him, you know, I mean, and this is like exactly the point I was bringing up my last point, right, which was, sorry, the, the. The second to last point, which was about like speak up about your desires concerns authentically from the get go, you know, and just really letting him know, you know, like what happened, that obviously it wasn't on purpose and you know, and yeah, and just really letting, letting him know that you're doing your best and hopefully he's not just like your boyfriend because you're making dinner for him. Because that would be very disappointing. You know, this would actually point to a more little boy as opposed to saying, you know, here's the options that we would have. Leslie. Right. And one would be, okay, let's order some food. And now we can just order some Chinese food or whatever, right. So I hope he's not cheap. And that's why he's contacted his aunt, so he can eat for free at his aunt's. I hope that's not the case. Okay. Because otherwise that's not a quality, man. Or you could also be like, hey, let's, let's make something together. You know, you always have something in your refrigerator that you can, you know, do or, you know, whatever it is, Right. So there's always like many roads that lead to Rome, if you're willing. And maybe one thing you learned today from a video is turn your mess into your message. So how can this actually become like one of the most incredible, you know, fun stories that you get to tell you, you know, your friends at, you know, my friend just had her five year wedding anniversary, like vow renewal. Right. And so they got to like, share some stories. And so, you know, how can you know, even like this, like a downfall like this, so to say, or like a disappointment, you know, lead to like, oh, no problem, you know, how are we going to turn it around is in this and this way, you know, how can you turn that trigger into a treasure moment? You know, there's always something you can do. You know, you can go to the grocery store, grab a rotisserie chicken. You know, there's always something how you can turn it around. And so, but you know, I don't know, you know, I have definitely questions about him and his expectations and him, you know, not being that flexible or whether he. Yeah. Why he is together with you, you know. So hope that was helpful for you. Thank you. Thank you. Hi, beautiful lady. Okay, Mercedes, I don't know that questions I would have to ask my team that. Ha. I need to ask a question, please. I feel I need to receive advice. Okay, let's see if we can. If I can help you, let's see what's happening here. Okay, so Hajir is. I'm Algerian, living in Algeria, My man. I mean, we are in relationship. He's from Italy, working here in Algeria. So we started meeting and knowing each other seriously since March 2023. Okay. And then before 2023, he was a playful guy. Then after he asked For a chance of being together. He started changing, stopped talking to other girls, women, whatever he had in the past. And then I'm sure you're still typing while you do that. I'm going to answer really quick Pat's question. Now. I'm 69 and my boyfriend is 70. His wife of 45 years died last May. So their 48 year old daughter said he's dating too fast. By the way, I've heard this over and over again, Pat, so this is not the first time that I read this. She doesn't speak to me. In my eyes, she wants to control him. Holidays, I will probably not be invited. How do I overlook the daughter? So, yeah, you know, I actually seen that, like a lot. We just had somebody go, it was just in our program a couple months ago. And she's also like in a happy relationship with her boyfriend. And the kids were not like that supportive around that whole situation. Right. And so one thing that I always recommend is, you know, of course, encouraging, like communicating to your boyfriend the impact that has on you. And ideally it would actually be that your boyfriend sets boundaries with his daughter. And so. But of course, you know, I mean, the wife of 45 years, so, you know, she's been, you know, obviously the daughter, you know, has known her whole life and all of that, right? So it gets like really, really tricky in that moment. But I would say in your situation, as I communicate, the emotional impact it has on you towards your boyfriend and then also any other boundaries that you can set potentially with her, you know, because I don't know if overlooking is the right way, because I truly believe that it's about engaging because it's not about you personally, Pat. Okay. It's about, you know, that obviously the daughter has a loyalty towards her mom who died, who she's probably deeply grieving over. And she probably also expects her dad to deeply grieve over her. So she probably can't understand, like, why is that not deeply grieving of her the way I'm deeply grieving over her? You know what I mean? Because Stephanie got married for 45 years and all these things, right? So she thinks like, you know, it may just be a face or, you know, he doesn't know what he's doing. You know, there's something. So I would go, I would approach it more from that angle, you know, and continue to, you know, when it talks about holidays again, continue to communicate with your boyfriend and then your boyfriend. It's your boyfriend's job, you know, to talk to his daughter about it. And he'll be like, you know what? Look, I get that you're grieving, and I get that you're doing all of that, but, you know, the biggest piece is that you understand that I want to be happy again. You know what I mean? That I want to build a life again. You know, I can't just live like this for the rest of my life. You know, I'm. I'm ready to have a partnership again. So I hope that was helpful for you. Okay, Hagia, if you can just kind of summarize your question, because it's like, it's really long, and it's like, it gets really lost here. Okay, so let's see. Next one. Content. The guy I'm dating is really pulling back this week after opening up about his ex and sharing more in depth about some things on his mind. Not sure what to do. Initiate something with com communication. Probably be silent. Share. Okay, well, so part of it is content for something. So that's mine, Senior. What can happen is. And I just talked about this with someone else yesterday, is about that men can hit when they're, like, emotionally more unavailable, like an intimacy threshold. And so what I mean by that is like when they. They almost have, like, a hangover, right? Like a vulnerability hangover after sharing something, like, really vulnerable. And so it's almost like. Feels like, okay, now I need some space, okay? Because maybe opening up about something about his ex triggered something inside of him where he, you know, he felt maybe shame, you know, maybe because he felt he made himself responsible for the relationship not working out. Or maybe he made some mistakes or maybe he got rejected by her or, you know, whatever it is, right? Or he has guilt or something, but there was some undesirable emotion that was coming up for him when he was opening up about his ex. And so, you know, men process different than women, right? Especially the more masculine there are. So, like, maybe as you got off the phone, he started to feel that emotional ripple effect sort of in his nervous system. And then depending on his strategy, because every man has different strategies, right? His may be pulling back, you know, his maybe disconnecting. So he actually feels safe again, you know, because maybe he doesn't feel safe because it's too vulnerable, too shame provoking, too. Too charged, and he doesn't really know what to do with that, right? Because remember, you know, we have sort of like this. This ecosystem inside of ourselves, this emotional ecosystem, but it depends on how well it's developed inside of someone, if they know how to navigate, like a triggering Emotion, a vulnerable emotion, something that feels like exposing. So all you can do to honor your self content is like actually communicate and communicate your emotions, you know, communicate how that makes you feel, the impact it has on you, you know, the story that you tell yourself and essentially asking him for help with that, you know, because that's all you can do is like really appeal to that part inside of him that wants to be there for you. But of course that's only going to work if he's somewhat willing to engage. You know, if there's still nothing happening after that. You just need to let him give him that space and then communicate once he comes back. The impact that it had on you and really working out on what, what compromises or you know, in which way he can stay open with you. Maybe it's not like in a, in a normal way how he normally communicates with you, but maybe it's, it's, it's just like, you know, just communicating that he needs maybe a day space or. And it has nothing to do with you, right? So that he learned to communicate with you so that you feel safe. Right? Because I know that if he was to communicate with you in a way like, hey, something got triggered inside of me and it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with what we talked about yesterday. And I just need space to process that has nothing to do with you. And you know what I mean, once I process that through, like I'll come back to you, then you would feel different. Right? So it's just more about the fact that it's like that he's not handling this right, that he's just kind of, you know, shutting down, just going to survival mechanism, fight or flight, you know, and not really coming from a place that's response if as opposed to reactive. So I hope that makes sense for you. Okay. And then Sandra said, I just got over being scared to share my heart and feelings. I just started sharing with men. I care about how they make me feel. Even if it's not text, it's there and it's me and I gotta be me, right? The ones meant to be in my life will stay. And the ones that don't like it, there's the door. I want to just be me and not worry about all the things that fear takes place. Instead of love, I put myself out there by just sharing and, and feels good and not expecting anything back. Feels good. Okay. Awesome. Yeah. And that's so true because at the end of the day all you have is yourself, right? You spend the rest of your life with. But also the only thing that I would say is, Sandra, how can you do it? How can you do it? And you know, when somebody says, there's the door, that's still a little defensive. You know what I mean? So how can you still do it? Like, with an open heart? So, for example, like, when the sky. I don't know if you were here when I shared about, you know, how long you've been on the video, but when this guy, like, 14 years ago, the story that I shared that who said that I was too affectionate or hugged too much or kissed too much or something like that, I could have said, well, that's me. Take it or leave it. Right? But then that would have been actually a shape shield, because that would have been actually like a shame shift of attack. So that there would have been actually, like, you know, my heart would actually be sort of slowly, actually kind of closing. You know what I mean? And so then in that moment, I'm actually not fully emotionally available to myself. And so then, unfortunately, that would get. Give breathing ground to attracting another man who's also not quite emotionally available. So if I want to become a magnet to an emotionally available man, to congruent man, a grounded man, you know, a masculine man, you know, who his actions, his words. Words match. He. He at least communicates when he needs space and so on, right? Then I gotta make sure, like, oh, am I closing my heart right now? So how you could do it instead is like, okay, so the people that don't like it, well, they're on a different path, right? So just using, like, sort of different frames as opposed to there's the door today. It's like, really harsh. And I used to be like that too. Like, just pretty harsh. And so then I was surprised that I was attracting men who, you know, were emotionally unavailable or inconsistent or conflicted inside of themselves. But the second I shifted that and I was able to reframe it in a way that's like, less harsh. Or we, like, say, you know what? Like, I'm gonna be myself. I'm gonna communicate my emotions the best I can. And if that's too triggering for some men, then, you know, we're not a fit, right? Like, we're, you know, it's not the right match. We're in different paths. So you see how that's, like, very different because I still don't judge the man. Because the other piece also is like, sort of when we judge the man, that's like, it's like an emasculation, obviously. Right. And, you know, women think like, well, once the man has proven himself that he's not worth of me, you know, honoring him, then I can emasculate him. I don't know if I agree with that. Like, I actually agree. If we can always frame it in a way where we're like, almost quote, unquote. Quote unquote, never in an emasculating state. So never have this feeling like we need to judge or we need to castrate men, then it becomes like an unconscious competence, and we don't have to consciously remind ourselves all the time of willpower. Okay? So now I need to say that I appreciate him, and now I need to say that he's my hero. And now I need to say. Right. So that would be like, so mechanic, as opposed to organic. So where we want to get you. And it's like that it's organic, that it feels natural, that feels sustainable, that it feels trustworthy. Right. Because he can also tell if that's. If you are. If that's your true energy or if you're just putting on sort of a mask, you know, something you learned from a program. And what men will say in that time then, and we heard that from our women too, who come originally to us, is the man will actually say, like, are you. Are you in some program right now? You know what. What strategy are you using on me? Like, you never be. Want to be in this kind of position. Okay. Because that's gonna cause further mistrust. So. Awesome. Awesome. So, okay, so let's see. Okay. Why do I put ads into my live streams? Oh, Raquel, I have nothing to do with that. That's probably like the. What are the YouTube gods, but I didn't even know that I have ads on my live streams, so thanks for that. My husband may have known. So. Okay, Tammy, like, sat together. Let me know if you have a question about that. My ex told me he loves me, but then he dumped me, which then also goes back to. Of course, words and actions don't match. So, you know, it's. If I were to turn the volume down, does the storyline still make sense? Right. So if I need to actually turn. If. If I don't see. Oh, this man hasn't communicated with her in, like, three weeks. And. But she's devastated. So imagine you look at a screen right now, Tammy, right? And so, you know, and you have no sound. You know, maybe back in whatever when. When we started to have films, but we didn't have sound. So Something like that, you know, potentially like Charlie Chaplin or something like that. And so you're like, wait a minute. So this woman meets this guy and three weeks go by of like nothing and. But you see her constantly crying and constantly being anxious about being com. You would be like, wait, I'm so confused. Like, what is happening? You know what I mean? I mean, she met this guy like three weeks ago or four weeks ago, but he doesn't. I don't see him. So I don't know why she's so upset or why she's talking with her girlfriends about this guy. Right? So that would be equaling. Okay, he tells you that he loves you, but his actions are clearly not showing it. And so one thing I always teach my women here at Magtazio, man, is we'll see, you know, and so again, not like, like I just told Sandra, not in a sort of condescending way, but just like, we'll see, you know, thanks for the compliment, you know, we'll see. Right? I received that. And the rest we'll see. So, so that's like another piece of advice that I have here now. Charlene said, I have a guy that I dated in high school come back to into my life recently, by the way, hear a story all the time. Charlene. We live on different sides of the US which by the way, is a pattern. Right? So when it's a pattern, that's great. So it's not personal so we can do something different. We've been talking every day over the phone or FaceTime. I'm a little nervous because he seems to have found love with me quick. I have strong feelings also, but I don't know if this is a red flag. His last long term relationship was last December and it was a seven year relationship. He's talking about building a home for us and me moving. I'm just getting out of a 20 year marriage where. And then I lost you. Okay, so it sounds like you're actually the one who's like slightly more concerned about being willing, you know, to lean into that level of intimacy. And he's talking about building a home of you guys moving. You're just getting out of a 20 year marriage. So it could be, I can see the rest of what you, what you wrote here and that's the comment section. It could be that he's, that you just need like some space, you know, or maybe you don't want to move in with him. I don't know. I don't know. You know, I hear like some women say when they come to me in their, like 50s or early 60s, that they want to have another relationship, but they don't necessarily want to live together with the guy. Sometimes they do, but oftentimes they also don't they because, you know, they still want to have their space. They still have sort of like the schedules and they still have like their whole things going in their life. So they don't want to be like sort of, you know, just like, you know, almost like getting back into another marriage. Right. So I would assume you've been talking every day over the phone that you obviously like him too, because otherwise I would assume that you would do that. And you said you have strong feelings also, you know. Yeah, but you said that you don't know if this is a red flag. And sometimes we have to see things through. Right? Now, if I were to wonder, and this is funny, I just did a reaction video. It's not out yet. It's going to be out probably next week. But this, there is a super short clips, like 10 seconds long. And it's basically just like, you know, people always say, you know, pay attention to red flags. But is it really that red, though? You know, it's kind of like almost like with a wink, flirting and trying to convince you to paint the red flags green. And so in this particular case, like, it's more about like, really seeing. So if I were to consider something to be a red flag, then I would ask myself, like, logically, I think it comes from logic, but actually it comes from my nervous system. And so why would my nervous system be concerned that it could be a red flag? That could tell you a lot, Charlene. Right. So I'm very curious about that piece because what I've seen, I just talked with a woman yesterday is like, we actually uncovered like the sky just shifted out of his total tone after eight months. And, you know, it's a totally different person. And I hear this all the time. And then we actually, as we just kind of like peel back the onion just a little bit. Right. Because, you know, that's not a lot of time to do that, but just a little bit, we uncover like three red flags, right? So it's like, okay, have there been other red flags that you've been noticing in the communication with him that may be more like an orange flag or that may be feeling more like a pink flag? But you know, there's something where you feel like there was something else he mentioned that made me feel uneasy or there's another way how he showed up or just the fact that he wants to move fast. Right. And so now falling in love quickly in that sense, I just let my friends get married after knowing each other literally their first date first. I'm talking 90 days. Right. So I do believe that, you know, when people are meant to be like they can recognize each other fast too. However, I feel it's like intuitively the fact that you ask this question makes me feel like that you need like some space, you know, not like take space from him or anything like that. Right. But just be like, hey, you know, let's, let's pace it. And this is one thing that I teach my women all the time is really in phase three. Once we're actually attracted the right man into our life and he actually gives us everything we want, you know, like our love language, words of affirmation, whatever it is, or you know, quality time. Now it's actually pacing. And the reason why it's pacing, Charlene, is because your nervous system itself slowly learn to feel safe with that new dynamic. So it could be more something like that, right? That your system is saying instead of like being water hose down with like so much love that your nervous system can't respond to because it just goes and it goes into probably freeze and overwhelm or dissociation instead just fully visualizing sort of like a baskin robin spoon and feeling like, okay, how can we potentially create, you know, scenarios in our relationship where, you know, you feel more like you're being spoon fed the attention, you know, and then you can actually quote, unquote, digest it. Also known as actually like trust it and really be with it and actually feel how that feels different in your body than it felt in your 20 year marriage. Because sometimes women come to me and they're like, well, my 20 year marriage was beginning was the same, but then it shifted or then he became abusive or then six years later we found out that he's an alcoholic or you know, or whatever the case may be. Right. So it almost could be more something like that where it's more like your system needs time to just digest, integrate, trust, ground this new dynamic that you have with him. Totally. Yeah. I feel like connect more emotionally, can open up to him, say anything to him. Couldn't do that with my ex husband. Yeah. So it could be more something like that, you know. All right. And Stephanie. Yeah, you're so welcome. Charlene. Stephanie. I got divorced off about seven years ago after a 25 year relationship. I haven't been on a regular date since my divorce. I'M now more ready than ever to date again. And my question is, if I go out for a night and talk to more than one guy, is that okay? I live in Mexico, and I'm from Belgium. If I go out for date night for a night and talk to more than one guy, I said, okay. Oh, 100%, you know. So one rule that I have about that, Stephanie, is that the only rule is, like, you want to treat other people. You want to be treated, meaning if you were to sense that a man feels like this, this doesn't. It's not about, like, tonight or one night, but that's about, like, you know, as you get to know different men and you start to feel like, you know, one man is starting to be more under the impression that you're his girlfriend or you're committed, that if you were to sense that right, then it would be sort of like your responsibility. Because I did that with Brody, too, because I was seeing other men when I met him originally, and I just said, hey, just so you know, I'm seeing other guys, right? Like, I, you know, I just want to be super honest and authentic and transparent, right? Because that's what I believe in. That's what I want to create in my relationships of, like, a trusting and authentic relationship in my life or relationships in my life, right? He's like, oh, my gosh. You are like, I'm not seeing anyone. Okay, so that was really great, right? Because then it was like. And he's like, I don't want you to see anyone else. But that's going to be a little bit down the road for you, Stephanie. And for now, I'm just like, enjoy yourself. Usually it's assumed that when you're dating, you know, just dating that particular guy. But again, like I said, the second you kind of sense, like. Or there's some questions that you feel like, are kind of, like, inquisitive about other guys. Just. I just really believe in total honesty and transparency. You know what I mean? Because you don't owe a man anything until he claims you. And claim would really be, hey, you know, by using other men, because I don't want you to. And then you get to reconsider. Like, do I like this man enough to commit, you know, to give myself to him and to not see other men? So I hope that's helpful for you. All right, Charlene. Yes. You're so welcome. All right, ladies. Well, this is it for today. It's been such a pleasure. I'll be back and, you know, just want to kind of like, ring it off. We just did 200,000 here on YouTube, and we just want to, you know, give a huge shout out. And thank you so much for all of your support and all of your questions and comments and sections and giving us inspirations on what kind of videos to shoot, what questions to answer. We love all of your feedback. That's what makes the channel is you guys. So we want to really thank you guys so much for following us for all those years. So if you're new to our channel, say hi as well in the comment section. And again, if you haven't done so already, take our free Magnetize youe Man quiz by hopping over to Magnetize your man dot com. Awesome. All right, lots of love, ladies. Enjoy your Labor Day weekend. I'll talk to you soon. Take care. Bye. Bye.