Men Fall HARD for Women Who Know THESE 7 Things…

Men are easily attracted to women who know these seven things. In this video you will discover maybe some unexpected surprises of what attracts men to women and what repels them and most importantly, what you can do about it. So you can attract a man who cherishes you, who pursues you, and of course also who supports you. So let's go ahead and dive right in. Hey, I'm Anthea Boyd with Magnetize youe Men. And together with my husband Brody Boyd, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world for the last 20 years combined to get a committed, connected and long term relationship that they desire fast. So excited. So let's go ahead and dive right in. All right, Number seven. Men are easily attracted to women who know that a queen holds. So one thing we teach in our program is archetypes. So archetypes are different energies inside of ourselves. So there's actually six for women and six for men. To simplify it a little bit, one of them is the queen. And so with the queen, I always say it's a balance between the bitch and the doormat, right? So the doormat is the one who is like people pleasing and who wants to be liked and has zero boundaries. And the bitch of course has like too many. It's like really harsh. It's completely independent, is care less, right? Doesn't care what other people think about her. So the queen is sort of the lovely middle ground. Okay, so the goal for you is actually like to be the queen because that's when you're truly integrated, that's when you're truly aligned. That's when you're truly centered. That's when you're actually the most magnetic. However, one of the attributes that the queen archetype has is that she holds. And what I mean by that is instead of her like over talking about, over justifying, over explaining, trying to fill in the gap, like so on and so forth, because she actually feels uncomfortable within. She actually leans what I call into the gap. So let's visualize you on a date and maybe you shared something that you felt a little uncomfortable about. Maybe you shared something about your childhood accidentally. Maybe you shared something about something maybe that you're not good at. Maybe you're saying, oh, actually I'm not that good at cooking, right? And so then actually that sense of insecurity is coming up inside of you or that sense of not good enoughness. And so then what you do instead is like you laugh it over, right? You kind of lighten the atmosphere a little bit. But in reality, you're actually running away from yourself because this is tension inside of yourself because there's a judgment, okay? So if you're following me so far and then what you say is like, oh, I'm not judging myself. I'm just going to override it. I'm just going to pretend it's not happening. And then what happens is that causes mistrust in the man because it's like, wait a minute, I just felt a little sadness from this woman. And now. Which, by the way, a man just wants to feel vicariously through you. More masculine is, by the way, okay? And so he doesn't really care if it's like sadness or if it's anger or if it's happiness or whatever, right? But we say, oh, I was set. I don't want to. I don't want this to be too heavy. So I'm just going to laugh it over. No, the creep is saying, I'm. I'm holding. I'm. I'm being quiet here in the moment. So instead of me over talking and like running into my fight orf flight mechanism, oh, I'm just gonna be in the unknown and the uncertainty and the discomfort, and I'm gonna be in the space with the man. And that truly, believe it or not, is actually magnetic number six. Men are easily attracted to women who know how to have tension of being emotionally available while being busy. Now, you've heard this from many love coaches before. Be busy for. Fill up your schedule. Be unavailable. Be that butterfly that he needs to catch. That's all fun unless you don't have the energy to match with it. Look, you can do the right thing with the wrong energy, and the problem is that you don't get the wrong outcome. You know, we see this over and over again. So you can actually fill your calendar as much as you want. But if you have actually true resentment behind it and you actually kind of. Yeah, just kind of like have like some anger behind it as well, then you're actually sending that to a man. So I want you to visualize. Imagine you're sending. You're having like an energy inside of you, right? You want to send like, let's say a butterfly. A butterfly is coming out of your heart and it's flying towards a man, right? It's so beautiful. And I'm just butterfly. You have to catch me. And however. And this is just a visualization, right? So if you have the wrong energy, then that butterfly quickly turns into, let's say, a bat. And so by the time the butterfly reaches the man. It's a bat. And it's like, oh, no, I don't want to catch a bat. You know? No, like, yuck. And so. And we're not aware of that, how much we're actually tainting the beautiful butterfly inside of ourselves. A beautiful feminine energy when we have underlying resentment. Right? So you actually want to learn, like, how to be authentically in your joy when you have your calendar filled, when you're not available for your man. Right in and really. And stay emotionally available. Your heart is still open. That means if he was to reach out to you, you. You would still be looking forward to talking to him. There would be zero resentment, right? There would be, like, connection as opposed to guardedness. Now, if you want to learn more how in the heck to do that, then take our free magnetize your man quiz to get that loving, long term, committed relationship that you desire fast. And the link is in the description below. Or you can simply hop on over to magnetize your man number five. Men are easily attracted to women who know that his backstory shapes his behavior, not your personality. So many women that come to me take a personal. When a man first pursues them, texts them, goes on a date with them, and then all of a sudden pulled back, right? So when a woman is other focused or when she's anxiously attached, which, by the way, I was, and all the women that come to me are right, then she's actually going to say, well, I did something wrong. Because, remember back in the day? So if we go on a timeline, we go back into the past when your parent was mad at you or was upset or maybe had a mental illness or was like an raging alcoholic or was dismissive and stoic. You made it about yourself, didn't you? You said, oh, I said something wrong. Right? Like I upset the apple card. Right. Like I'm gonna, you know, I rock the boat. Right. I should just zip my lip. And that way my parents don't fight. So you actually think, like, you have more influence over the situation, over the environment, over the parents, than you actually do. Right. So what you want to learn is that his backstory shapes his behavior. Right. So believe it or not, men have a past too. Yes. And they can also have trauma and insecurities. My husband actually worked with men for 10 years and helped them to heal their insecurities and their traumas. By the way, this is for all the women who think that the men are not doing the work and that you're the only one who's doing the Work. Okay. And so, you know, so he can have an abusive dad, right? Or an aggressive dad or an emotionally unavailable mom or a manipulative, narcissistic mom and whatever. And that will shape his behavior. That will cause trust issues. That will cause his, what I call vulnerability threshold. Which means sometimes when you communicate with a man, he hits this emotional intimacy threshold after, let's say, three days, three weeks, three dates. You know, everyone has, like, a different one depending on their childhood experience. And that's when he will withdraw us. But it has nothing to do with you. Right? So really important. And so then what that means is like, it's not my problem, it's your problem. Right? And so it's not about, like, blaming him. And we're going to go into that in another point here, but. But it's about really saying, okay, this is your side of the street to clean up. This is not my side. Right. Like, clearly, I have my wounds as well, which we're going to talk to about in a moment. But for this particular one, like, you're accountable. Right? And by the way, this also doesn't mean to enable him and say, oh, when? Let me solve the problem and let me find him a great counselor. And oh, my gosh, I've like, the best pastor. I think he should talk to him. He. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, he has to figure this out, right? Number four, men are easily attracted to women who know that healing her wounds is the real glow up. So you see, one other thing we're going to talk a lot about here at Magnetize youe man is actually having your wounds healed, right? So looking at what are compatible wounds, where do the wounds come from? And so we can experience different wounds depending on what developmental stage they occurred, right? So, for example, you could, for example, have a wound that you become codependent, that you become other focused, right? Because you didn't get your needs met when you were a child. This is oftentimes the case when you have a narcissistic parent. It could also be when you had several siblings. It could also be when you had a parent who became a caretaking case at an early age, maybe had some sort of immune. Immune disease or, you know, some accident, something like that. And you became like other focus, right? But there's also other wounds as well, where you become the peer performer, whether you become the perfectionist. And so the real glow up is actually become real, raw and authentic. You know, there is the saying that we admire perfect people, but we fall in love with imperfect Ones, Right? So by you actually acknowledging your own imperfections and of course, also owning them. Now, how do you own them is by identifying, okay, where is this wound coming from in the first place? And then saying, okay, which part inside of me can actually take care of that part, can nurture that part. So instead of me seeing my partner having to nurture that or for my partner to have to be the safe haven, and in an attachment style theory, we talk about the safe haven and the exploratory drive. So oftentimes when we codependent, we use our partner as the safe haven. He becomes the source. And so then we say, oh, now I have this exploratory drive now. I'm so creative, and I write all this poetry. Have you ever wondered about this? Like, why are you so creative when you're so attracted to a man and when you're in the beginning stages of dating? That's why. Right? But she's actually taking responsibility in healing her wounds. Number three, men are easily attracted to women who. Who know that the masculine craves direction but not control. I will replace direction here with desire. So you actually give them, like, an emotional direction. Right. You don't give them, like, an actual verbal direction. So how do you create an emotional direction by describing your desire? You know, I had a friend a few years ago, and she really wanted to go to Paris, and. And she had this incredible ability to just draw this whole picture. I mean, if you're visual, even better. But she was really saying, you know, I'm just visualizing myself, you know, walking to Montmartre in Paris and watching the painters, you know, tap their brushes into the paint and, you know, hearing French music playing and eating a croissant and drinking a cafe au lait and going to the Louvre and things like that, right? So she was just really explaining it in detail. And so then the man could actually, like, wow, this makes me feel so good. I already feel like I'm here. I already feel like I'm experiencing it. And so then the man is, like, taking a control. Masculine is taking the control. He's saying, okay, let's book a ticket, right? Or let's go to a French musical, or let's, let's go to a French festival, or. Right? So he's going to solve the problem as opposed to what I see most of my women do, and especially because I know you're so resourced and powerful and influential, is that you actually say, oh, here I already looked at flight tickets, and here I already solved the problem. And here I Got already. I already looked at what discount those tickets are from Les Miserables, let's say of whatever it is, you know. And so. So this is like something to be aware of. Like you still let a man drive, right? But you just really describe how do you want your Sunday to feel? Like, what are you looking forward to experiencing? And then he solves the problem. Number two, men are easily attracted to women who know how to respect space without withdrawal. So quick story here. A few years ago, when my husband and I were engaged, he was doing coaching with men. And when he coached men, sometimes the VIP day would end at 5pm and then sometimes he would add on like an evening out, sort of like on the field coaching, where men would actually learn how to overcome his approach anxiety. And now you get like, oh, wait, what? Yes. So men can actually be shy too. And they can actually be afraid of rejection too. So anyways, that's a side note. So my husband helped them break through that. So that particular day I had the assumption, which by the way, assume make an ass of you and me, right? So we talk a lot about when you say VIP day, what does that mean to you? How long does it go? So I wasn't really particularly amazing at communicating, gaining clarity. And that was also coming from my childhood wound because I was taught by my mom, don't bother me. So by the way, what does a child do if she has an unconscious belief, don't bother me. She will make as many assumptions as she possibly can. So guess what? So that she doesn't have to bother anyone. Right? So anyways, long story short, turns out he had actually VIP night. So I was livid because I have also in my developmental stage, I had like some injury in my fifth year of mental stage. And what that looks like is that you become very rigid. It has to be this way, my way or the highway. In other ways, you get really angry. And so I got really angry. Okay. And. Because he needed the space, right? But I couldn't give it to him. But I'm like, well, here you have your space. And so then I did it with a draw. And how I did it was I was driving from San Francisco, where we were living back then, to la, where my girlfriend lived. Yeah, I know. Speaking of running. Right. And so then at night my husband called me and I said, well, too bad, you know, I'm in la. And obviously he lost some trust. And when I came back, obviously he set boundaries and he said, you're never gonna do this again, right? So this is what you don't want to do this is what it looks like. So what you want to learn instead is, for example, let's say your man wants some space. He needs some space. He wants to hang out with his buddies, maybe his VIP that goes longer, whatever the case may be, right? And he's respectful about it, obviously. And communicative for the most part is actually saying, for example, okay, which part inside of me could take advantage of some of that space? So for me, for example, it was, oh, you know, there's this part inside of me, that priestess part, I call it, and that's really about connecting with God. And so, oh, I haven't really connected with God, you know, time to do a deeper meditation, time to do a deeper prayer, right? Maybe read my Bible a little bit, right? Because remember, I had this codependent tendency. So I was much more making people the source of my happiness than God, right? So I was like, oh, this is a great opportunity. That's why I attracted my husband. So that way I can have a healthy interdependent relationship with my husband and also a healthy and trusting and consistent relationship with God, right? By the way, lots of women ask us, how are you having like this? How are you honeymooning forever, right? And part of this really so much happened because we had God in the center. I kid you not. There's so many stories I could tell you, we can't do that right now in this video. And that was really about God was carrying our relationship. There's no doubt about that. And finally, number one, men are easily attracted to women who know the art of not reacting. Remember I was talking in number four about taking accountability for healing your own wounds. So this is a little bit of an extension of that, right? The art of not reacting, but rather responding. So what can happen is we have triggers inside of ourselves, but we want to learn how to turn triggers into treasures. Now, how do you do that? What the trigger in of itself, there's actually something authentic and raw and real underneath, but it's not going to be expressed in a raw and realness, right? You're actually coming from an fight of light mechanism when you're reacting. You know why? Because it's instant. You don't even have time to sit with it, to journal on it, to maybe talk about it with expert, expert mentor, someone you look up to and who has what you want. By the way, that's really, really important. You really want to find somebody who embodies the goals that you have, right? So, and because when you do that, then you can see. Oh, I felt triggered. Let's say we're using this example of my husband. I felt triggered because I felt ignored. I felt not good enough. Oh, that's clearly not the case here. Right. But where is that coming from? Oh, it's coming from my childhood. Right. So should I say something to my husband? Oh, yeah, of course. However, you're going to do it from a grounded place, because now you have identified. Okay. This is actually not necessarily like something that he caused, but rather that he triggered. Right. Like the causation, the creation happened in my childhood. And so that's where the healing has to continue. Right. That's where I have to take responsibility. And then what is, for example, looks like is when I was again engaged to my husband, part of me said, you know, a part of me wanted to manipulate you. See how I was saying a part of me. Right. Because now I have perspective. Right. A part of me want to manipulate you. And then my husband said, oh, really? How did you want to do that? You know, so we had a great conversation because. Because we had perspective and I was not reacting. Reacting would have been like me actually trying to manipulate him, Me actually trying to guilt trip him, or me trying to shame him, or me trying to embarrass him or whatever the case may be that I know he has triggers around. Right. By the way, when you pick your partner, you have to be so, so careful because that's oftentimes more indicative of success in life than the actual job that you take, the actual career that you take. Right. And why is that? Because your partner becomes your environment. And environment trumps willpower. I hope that was helpful for you ladies. I'll talk to you in the next video. Take care. Bye. Bye.