Never Chase A Man, Here's How To Get HIM To Chase YOU Instead

Never fight for his attention. Do this instead. Have you ever felt super frustrated that a man just wasn't giving you the attention that you wanted either? He was being distant, indifferent, sporadically, communicating, sporadically, texting you back. And what you really wanted was to have a loving, long term and committed relationship. To have him actually meeting all your needs without the loneliness, frustration and insecurity that comes from a man being distant and avoidant with you. Well, hi, I'm Brody Boyd, in case you don't know me already, and together with my wife, Auntie, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world for over 20 years combined to get a loving, long term, committed relationship with a high quality man. They want fast, without loneliness, frustration or wasting time. So let's go ahead and dive right in.

The first thing to do instead of.

Fighting for his attention is to switch from giving to receiving or receiving to giving. So if you find in your relationship that you're the one that's giving more often, you're constantly giving, giving, giving, giving into the relationship that you need to actually switch that and instead start only receiving. This means no more initiation, no more doing things for him, no more putting yourself out on a limb to try to get him to care. You have to switch it now. Conversely, if you find that you're the one that's always receiving in the relationship, or asking him to do things, or wanting things, or complaining to him, you need to then switch that to now. You be doing everything you can in your power to meet all of his needs. And if his needs are all met, they call this a 90 day challenge. If you meet all of his needs for 90 days and he still doesn't give you what you want, then you know without a shadow of a doubt this is the wrong man for you.

The next thing to do, instead of.

Fighting for his attention, is to question your beliefs. Question your beliefs about him, about yourself, and about the relationship. Have you actually been holding the relationship on a pedestal and imagining that it needs to be a certain way, otherwise you can't be happy and either needs to meet some expectation you might have for how your family, your parents, relationship was, what you see relationships are like from other friends that you have other couples, Perhaps that's actually not what's most important to you. So avoid comparing yourself and your man and your relationship to other couples and try to get clear on what do you actually want and what do you actually desire beyond all the expectations, because maybe you're okay with it not being like those other relationships and also question Yourself like are you really showing up to the relationship? The best way that you need to show up, are you being your best self within the relationship? And also question him if he's actually the right man.

The next thing to do instead of.

Fight for his attention is to use open dialogue. Now the open dialogue technique involves using three powerful questions. And this is to help you get on the same page with with your man so that your goals can align and you can both be getting your needs met and happy. The first question is how do you feel? The second question is why do you feel that way? And the third question is what do you want? Get clear on what emotions he has going on. What is he feeling? Is he anger? Is it happiness? Is it sadness? Why is he feeling that way? And just listen non judgmentally, let him share and then ask him what he wants, what does he actually want in his relationship? What does he want for the future? And then now that you've listened deeply to him, so seek first now, seek to be understood and ask and share those same things to him for yourself. How are you feeling? Why do you feel that way and what do you want? And ideally then you can get together on the same page and create an amazing relationship.

The next thing to do instead of.

Fight first attention is to know when to let go. Use a serenity prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference. So sometimes you just have to let go. You have to stop trying to change him. You have to stop trying to control things you cannot control and you have to let it go. Ultimately, all you can control is yourself. So you have to take control over yourself and make sure that you're showing up first and foremost as the best you you can be and making sure you are learning the skills. You're getting more awareness around yourself and around the relationship so that you can actually change the things you can and let go of the things you can't and, and trust that by letting go things are either going to come into harmony, he's going to come to you, or the relationship is naturally going to go its separate ways in a way that is for your greater good. Because if it doesn't stick because you make it, then it's not meant to stick.

The next thing to do instead of.

Fight for his attention is to say no more often. Remember that no is a complete sentence. You don't have to justify your no. You don't have to justify your boundaries. What you do need to do is practice saying no, Practice saying no in front of the mirror, practice saying no with your family and friends, and practice saying no more often in your romantic relationship because there are things that he's doing, I guarantee it, that you're not happy about. And the things that other people in your life are doing that you're not happy about, but you're allowing it to continue. And you're not saying no. You're not setting a boundary. So you have to, first off, raise your standards and believe that you deserve to. To say no. Believe that you have a container around you, that you believe that you deserve to have borders and protection and that you can say no to the things that aren't good for you and not just let everything pour into your life that doesn't deserve to be there, that should not be there. You have to have strong borders to have to be a strong person. And if you don't control those boundaries, others will continue to walk over you.

The next thing to do, instead of.

Fight for his attention, is to stop comparing yourself to others. You might find yourself comparing yourself to other women that are. That you know are other women on social media, other couples, other relationships. I mentioned this before, but it's. It's really important to emphasize that comparison is the death, often of confidence. So you need to make sure that the only person you're comparing yourself to is who you were last year. And also that you're raising your own internal standards, that your standards may be different than other people and your standards may be unique than other people and get clear on what is actually important to you. What would be your dream relationship, your authentic dream relationship? What would that look like? Maybe it's something simple like you guys are just relaxing at the end of every evening. You guys are going on hikes together. You guys are checking in with each other regularly. And don't make yourself have this massive vision and pressure on the relationship that doesn't actually need to be there.

The next thing to do instead of.

Fight for his attention is to be on the same team. Now, this is a shift in mindset. Rather than seeing yourself as two different people seeing each other as two different people that are combating against each other, that are competing. You're not meeting my needs. Oh, you're not meeting my needs. Well, why didn't you do this? And why didn't you do that? Instead it's, you're both on the same team, linking hands together, facing the issue together. Now you might be saying, well, why doesn't he have this mindset. Well, you have to adopt this mindset first. This will help inspire him to get the mindset. It's like using the language of we, how can we solve this issue? Rather than how could you solve this issue? How can we solve this issue? How can we make sure we're both getting our needs met? These are powerful questions and it starts with a shift in mindset to seeing yourselves as on the same team. We're together in this. Let's face the issue together. Let's find a win win solution together so that we can both be happy. What do we need to change? What do we need to fix and adopt for that?

The next thing to do, instead of.

Fight for his attention, is to avoid destructive strategies. I remember when my wife and I were early on in our dating, she one day was feeling like she wasn't get the attention she wanted from me, and she was about to start manipulating me through guilt, making me feel bad, you know, punishing me subtly. And instead she said to me, a part of me wants to manipulate you right now. And I was shocked by that. But I was also intrigued and we were able to explore that conversation together. And I was able to actually see why she wanted to manipulate me, how she wasn't feeling like she was getting her needs met. And it opened up this vulnerability and authentic connection where we were able to go so much deeper because she avoided the destructive strategies of wanting to use jealousy, guilt, manipulation, passive aggressiveness, instead opened up and actually shared how she was feeling, what she wanted to do, how she didn't want to do, that part of her wanted to do it, and that she wanted to have a healthy relationship. And that was super powerful for me because it showed I could trust her.

The next thing to do, instead of.

Fight for his attention, is to invest in alone time. Make sure you're carving out time in your weekly and daily schedule to go out into nature to do things that you enjoy, to have hobbies, activities, separate from him, separate from your relationship. You have to have this alone time because that's also going to give him the space he needs to come to you. If you're constantly around him, if you're constantly messaging him, if you're constantly relying on him to get all of your needs met, he's going to feel pressured, most likely he's going to feel suffocated. And if that doesn't give him any space to actually come to you, to be the initiator in the relationship. Because how could he initiate? How could he chase you if you're the one constantly chasing him. It can't happen. So it takes some, some courage to give this discomfort to yourself in the relationship. But actually it brings the comfort later to have him coming to you, that space that allows him to come to you. It may feel like you're stepping into the unknown. You're uncertain for a while, but eventually you may be pleasantly surprised to see that he will step up and fill the space. In most cases, the next thing to do, instead of fight for his attention, is to seek discomfort in growth. Put yourself outside of your comfort zone and start doing things that are scary to you, that you've thought about doing in the past, that you know will will bring you into your next best version of yourself. Whether that's a new spiritual practice, whether that's having tough conversations that you need to have with somebody in your life, friends, family, a co worker, a boss, seeking that discomfort, seeking those, those situations that will force you to grow. It could be starting a business venture you haven't started before. It could, it could be ending a relationship. It could be starting a new relationship. It could be taking a course, hiring a coach, taking a seminar. Things that are putting you in a situations where you have to grow because you're creating an environment around you where that will happen. That's going to be one of the things that will give you the time and energy to make yourself better and will also draw the right man to you because you are now becoming the flame rather than the moth. So as you can see, in this journey of getting a man to come to you and getting his attention rather than fighting for it, but attracting it, it involves controlling what you can control, which is yourself, and trusting that by working on yourself, by letting go of the outcome and committing to the process, you're going to naturally draw him back to you. And if you don't, that's a clear sign that also he was a man that was not right for you. And this will give you the comfort and the clarity knowing that if you did these things and you did all these steps and in the right way and with the right commitment, that if he doesn't step up, then you know, I gave it my all. But you have to start really giving this, these practices the time and effort and attention they need so that you can actually know you're showing up for your best self and that ultimately you will draw what you need in your life to you, whether or not it's with him or a man who's even better and a better fit for you and an even better relationship Next. If you haven't yet, make sure to take our free Love quiz and virtual coaching session to get a loving link. Long term and committed relationship with a high quality man that you want without loneliness, frustration or emotionally unavailable men pulling away from you by going to getlovequiz.com or click on the link in the description and comments below. This training. Much love. I hope this was helpful and I look forward to talking to you more there. Bye bye.