Never Chase Him. Do THIS Instead...

Never chase after him. Don't do it. Please stop. We're going to teach you what to do. Instead, I have my special guest here, Matthew coast, and we're going to dive right into all the reasons why you should stop pursuing, chasing, investing, into committing to even a man who's not giving you the time of day, who's not giving that effort back to you, who's not chasing you so we can reverse it. So he's coming to you, he's pursuing you. He's wanting to have you in his life and dedicate himself, devote himself. So I'm excited to dive in. And let's start by going right into these powerful principles and teachings, Matthew. And what are your secrets that you'd like to start with for today on why you should not chase a man and what to do instead?

Great. Thanks for having me, Brody. So usually most women that are coming to me and they're in a situation where they're chasing a guy or they're thinking about chasing a guy or something like that, usually the situation is the guy is pulling away. Maybe he's not giving her a lot of time or attention or thought or something's going on where there's kind of this detachment from what she wants and what she's expecting and what she'd like to have in the relationship and what's actually going on. And so the. The first thing that you want to do if you're in this situation is just stop what you're doing altogether. Right there. There's a lot of times there's this vacuum that kind of opens up when a guy pulls back or is not doing something.

And.

And it can feel natural or feel like the thing you should do to just go into that space and start doing everything for him, to start chasing him, to start pursuing him, to start investing, to start doing all this stuff. But that is the absolute wrong thing to do. Absolute wrong thing. And the reason is because sometimes he needs that space. Right? Sometimes that space has to be there. Right. A guy's not going to miss you if you're smothering him. A guy's not going to miss you if you're there all the time trying to make things happen. And it's important that sometimes the guy does miss you, because that's what makes him realize how much he likes you, how much he's in love with you, how much he wants to pursue you and do all that kind of stuff. And if that's not happening, it can be a problem. Does that make sense?

Yeah. No, that's Great. It brings up for me, the analogy that I always go back to, which is one great analogy, is in a dance. And in a dance, if you're the one leading him and you're pulling him around and you're trying to, hey, let's. Let's progress the relationship. Hey, I want you to do. To love me more. Hey, I want you to. So if you're trying to take the masculine role and lead him in the dance, he has no opportunity to take the lead himself. What he's probably going to do is like, hey, let go of me. Like, no, don't tell me what to do. And he's going to be resistant to your leadership. Because most men have. All men have a masculine core, and the more masculine a man is, the less he's going to enjoy and really respond well to a woman trying to lead him and trying to direct the relationship and trying to pursue and chase him. So we have. You have to stop the madness. And there's this other saying I love, which is, if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. And so if you find yourself constantly. You're in this position where you're constantly having to reach out to him, trying to get anything going, trying to get some forward momentum in the relationship, you need to stop that. Like you're saying Matt, so that there's space for him to be able to actually start taking the lead and start being inspired into devoting, because it's al. Also, another analogy is like, in a car, you know, in a car, you can only have one driver and one passenger at any time. And if. If. If you're the one driving and you're like, oh, I'm so upset. Why isn't he driving? Well, you've put him into the passenger seat, or maybe he put himself into the passenger seat, took the wheel. Now what's he going to do? How can he reverse that? You have to actually stop the car, get out of the car and say, may I ask if you could please drive us? Or you inspire him with all the things we teach in masculine, feminine polarity. How to get him into the driver's seat, how he wants to be in the driver's seat, to start taking the relationship forward and leading. And if you're doing that, he can't. Otherwise, if he's driving and you're trying to take the steering wheel also, you're both trying. You're probably going to crash the car or the car is going to go nowhere if no one's driving. So, yeah, it's. It's it's very important. Or.

Or there's another possibility, which is that you end up being the one who's doing everything all the time. And you set a precedent for that, right? Because there's some guys that, in fact, I'd say the overwhelming majority of guys, they don't have women chasing them and pursuing them and doing all that kind of stuff. And a lot of times guys will just lean back if they're getting all of their needs met. They might not be falling more deeply in love with you. They might not be. They might not even like you that much, right? This is the truth. A guy might not even like you that much, but a lot of guys will just let you do it because they don't. They're getting their emotional needs met, they're getting their physical needs met, they're getting all these different things from you doing that that they don't normally get. And what will end up happening is that then you are the one that's controlling everything, that's driving everything. You're in that space, and if he doesn't even like you that much, you're invested. You're getting to a place where you start feeling like this is something that you might not even really want to be in anymore. And you. If you pull back at all, you'll find out that he doesn't even care, right? Or. Or worse, you really want him and you want things to be him, to step up and do all this stuff, but he never cared from the beginning, and he just let you do it all. And now you're in a situation where it's just, you know, you've wasted years of your life or, you know, tons and tons of time with a guy that never cared about you from the beginning. Beginning.

Yeah, it's very painful. It's similar to the mother son dynamic, right? If you're mothering a man and you're taking care of his needs and you're anticipating his needs and how to make him happy, and you're investing, you know, in a mother son dynamic. The son is receiving his mother's care and he's like, okay, it's nice. Yeah, she's taking care of me. She's paying the bills, she's buying food, she's making the food, she's making sure the house is nice, she's planning trips for us, she's doing things for us for me. And it feels good to some at some level, like a primal level, like a son enjoys being cared for from his mother, but the son isn't devoting himself to his mother. He's not then taking care of her in, in those ways because she's doing it for him. He's not stepping up. He's not taking the leadership in the household because it's like, oh, Mommy's got the leadership. Mommy's taking care of everything. I don't need to do anything. I could just sit back and relax and receive. And then you also see this rebelliousness that children have that they don't even often respect their parents. They're not even really doing what their parents ask, and they're having, having an attitude. And you'll see this dynamic sometimes between these masculine women and more feminized men where they are not even really respecting the woman. The woman just keeps giving to him and he's not really valuing her. He's not really prioritizing her. He's not even making an effort. And it's a very painful situation to be caught into because there's also the psychological factor of the sunk cost fallacy. Do you want to talk about that, Matthew? The idea of, like, with a gambler, when they invest so much and now they don't, it feels so painful to just walk away from the table when you've already put so much into it.

Yeah, it's what I like in another lifetime. I did a couple years in sales, and one of the things that they taught us in sales was that you want the person to be as invested as they possibly could before they purchase something from you. And this actually happened when I, I, I used to live in Colorado and I was, I had a Jeep, and I got to a point where I was going to sell the Jeep because I was moving. And this father contacted me and he, because he wanted to buy this Jeep for his daughter. And he lived in a different state. He lived in, I think it was Arkansas or something like that. And he was flying over to Colorado to, to take a look at the Jeep. And I was like, oh, this guy's going home with the Jeep. You know, I, I knew at the moment, as soon as he said he was flying in, I was like, he is leaving with a Jeep and it's invested. Yeah, he's flying all the way over to do that. Right. And this is, this is what this sunken cost fallacy is, is it's this idea that the more that you put into something, the more that you feel like it's something that you want to hold on to and never let go of. Right. And that's why it's so important to look at how much Somebody's investing, especially in the early stages of dating, and look at, like, what's going on there. And it's one of the big reason. It's a, you know, outside of just feminine energy. From a psychological standpoint, this is a very important reason. And to have a guy who's planning the dates, who's taking you out, who's doing all these things and not you doing it for him instead. Because if he's doing it, he's gonna feel like, wow, I must really like this woman because I'm doing all this stuff for her. Right. Whereas if you're the one doing it, you're gonna feel, oh, I must really like this guy because I'm doing all these things for him. And, and, you know, and you're gonna start feeling like you don't want to let him go. And you've invested so much and I've done so much. And then, you know, if, if, if he never really liked you to begin with, it's going to get to a point where he's. You. You've done so much, and it doesn't. Nothing is ever enough. And trying to be the perfect woman will never work to try to get this guy to actually like you. And so we have a. A better way. There's a better way here to do all this stuff. And that's what we're going to be talking about. So.

Yeah. And so that's a big piece. Just to wrap that up. As far as the never chase him part, the never chase him part is about you may have to deal with the sunk cost fallacy and realizing for yourself that you've invested a lot into this man. In fact, you've probably sacrificed a lot. You feel like you've sacrificed a lot in terms of setting aside your own needs, not speaking up, doing things that you didn't necessarily enjoy because you wanted to please him, because you want to make him happy, whether that's maybe having more sex with him than you wanted or doing things that. That he wanted to do and taking care of him in some ways. And you feel like you've made all these sacrifices, you've invested, you've committed to him, you've gave him everything. You've cut off all of your other options, and now you're looking at this, this. These chips that you've put on the table. And it feels very painful to have to walk away from that and to have to stop it too. To stop saying like, oh, I'm gonna just. I just gotta love him a little bit more. I just Gotta put in a little more effort. I just gotta please him a little bit more, try to make him happier. So then everything will finally then turn around. It's just like the gambler at the casino. Oh, I just gotta put 50 more dollars in, Just another spin of the wheel, and then I'm gonna get all my money back. And it's a fallacy because what ends up happening is you just keep losing more and more and more money, and all of a sudden you're bankrupt, right? All of a sudden you're completely broken and devastated. And he doesn't have. He's like, okay, this is great. And he just. He can just walk away. Anything. He was just getting, getting, getting, getting receiving right from his feminine. The feminine receives. The masculine is giving. So he's just receiving, and you're in the masculine giving, and he's receiving in his feminine. And he just. He's not invested, he's not committed. So part of the never chase him piece is you have to be willing to. To have the pain of letting your chips go, rather than the pain of losing more chips, investing more. You have to be willing to stop the madness, stop the masculine energy, stop the giving and giving and giving. And you have to then create this open space where now we go into the other part, which is to do this instead, which you have to reverse it. You have to reverse it. So now he's the one investing into you. And so we teach a lot of these principles through magnetic feminine polarity and feminine communication about how to ask a man for help, how to ask for his advice, how to inspire him, how to share problems with him in a way where he's inspired to want to help you and give to you and feel your feminine heart and your vulnerability and say, this is a woman I want to cherish and I want to take care of. Because now he's empathizing with you. So there's many principles that go into it, but the basic idea is how do we reverse it? And I want to hear your perspective on that too, Matt. How do we reverse it to. Now the man is starting to invest in her, starting to give to her, starting to pursue and chase her. We move into the do this instead part for sure.

So the. The first thing that you want to do if you're in one of these kinds of situations or you're running into. This is a very common thing that's going on in the dating market right now, in the. The dating world. I. I can already see from the chat a lot of women are talking about how this is something they've experienced or there's something going on in their situation that's similar to that. And what the first thing that you want to do is, is a mindset shift, right? And this mindset shift is the basis for everything that you want to do after this. And it's something that I call relationship over man. Relationship over man. And what relationship over man means is that you take usually what's happening. The reason that you're, you know, chasing after a guy is because you've taken this guy and you put him on a pedestal, right? And you're going, I value this man so much. He's so important to me.

He's the only man I could ever be with, or my life is gonna be miserable.

I wanna be with you. Please. Right, okay. Maybe you're not acting like that. I hope not anyway. But. But the point is, is that you know your value and really, really highly. That's why you're chasing after him, right? You need to take him. He's up on the pedestal. Let's see if I can do this here. He's up on the pedestal. You want to pull him off the pedestal, and you want to take the relationship. Yeah, just push. Knock them right off the pedestal. Just give him a big bump.

You know, be gentle about it.

This is happening in your mind, by the way. So you take him off the pedestal and put the relationship that you want on the pedestal. And that's what we call relationship over man. And so what you're doing here is you're going to, what kind of a relationship do I want? Right. Instead of saying, how can I get this man? Or how do I make the, you know, some guy, you know, want to be with me? Or, you know, like, let me get out my, you know, 300, you know, characteristic chest checklist of all the different traits that I want in a man that, you know, this man doesn't actually exist in reality. Instead of doing all that, right. Which usually ends up and feeling such a. An absence, a scarcity in yourself of all the things that you need that you end up just feeling it for some guy and then just chasing after him, right. Instead of doing that, right. What you do is you say, what is it? How do I want to feel? Right? How do I want to. What do I want to experience in a relationship from an emotional standpoint, right? And the ones that I think that you should put first is feeling safe, feeling seen, which is also another word for, like, being understood. So safe, seen, and valued, Right? Those are the top Three that I recommend that you put in there for what you want to experience in a relationship. Right? So you went from, you know, I want to be with this guy, and I'm trying to make this guy be the right guy for me and, you know, all that kind of stuff to I want to be in this relationship. This is what I'm actually going for here. Now the question is, you know, which guy is going to take me there? And it might be this guy that you're chasing after right now. It could be, but it's not about the guy. It's about the relationship and getting to that relationship. I'm famously known for this concept of abundance dating, which is letting guys show you that they want to take you to this relationship. And if they don't, then that's okay. You just, they're just weeding themselves out. Right? And so does that make sense, Brody?

Yeah. No, that's, that's awesome. And the beauty of it is when a man is valuing you and understanding you, and ultimately he ends up showing care for her heart, right? Showing care for her heart and wanting to make her happy, wanting to adore and cherish her. And the beautiful thing about it as well is when you have that relationship as the primary focus rather than the specific man, it gives you a standard inside of your mind and inside of your heart, which is helping increase your value, your internal sense of value. It's like, look, I have standards. This is the kind of relationship I desire because I desire it, I deserve it, and I know that I'm going to have it. I'm, I, I will have it. And now you can compare that desire you have for your ideal relationship. Give the man like a blank face. So there's the man with the blank face and then there's the relationship. So that way it can help you to depersonalize him. He's like a stand in for your ideal man, or what could be your ideal man. But then you have this relationship standard in your mind and in your heart. And then you can compare that vision you've now created within yourself of, this is what I desire, this is what I deserve. How does that match up with this situationship or this connection I'm in with this guy that I seem to be obsessed about? Is this matching my vision? And if it's not matching the vision, now I have an ability to communicate with him, these discrepancies in a feminine, graceful way to share with him how that makes me feel, how that makes me feel, that this vision that I have is not matching with this, this reality of what he's presenting to me and to share your feelings then vulnerably, authentically of what's going on for you with that discrepancy. So then he can understand, oh, this is a high value woman who actually does have a higher vision for what she wants. And if he can then be inspired into feeling your feminine heart of this is my desire and your, your high value queenly energy you're creating within yourself now, he can be inspired to want to bridge that gap and say, oh, how can I fix it, babe? Like, I want to make you happy, I want to, I want to start stepping up potentially. That would be the ideal, right? If, if you're showing your heart vulnerably and if you're using what we teach you, how to communicate with him in a way that he sees your new standard, he sees what's going on for you and he's not stepping up to the plate in that sense of wanting to care for your heart, wanting to give you that vision of your ideal relationship. Then as a queen, also, you have to be willing to walk away. Ultimately, he may not be that man either because he's broken, he's not capable of showing that devotion, he has some mental emotional issues, completely damaged in some ways, or he just doesn't have the care for your heart. And you may have to be willing to walk away. But that's also how you would keep continually increasing your value so that then you become this, you accept the standard within yourself that some other man who is even potentially a much better fit for you will quickly come into your life and show you that care and devotion, who you'll be excited and attracted to because you've raised your own internal value with that process. So, yeah, those are some of my thoughts on it. I think that's, that's a beautiful thing. And, and I'm curious, Matt, before we start answering questions, which we are going to be answering questions, so make sure to watch all the way to the end of this video here because you may get your question answered and could completely change your relationship trajectory and get you the kind of man and relationship you desire or the specific man. But I want to hear from you, Matt, is there anything else, any other big principles you want to elaborate on today around what to do instead? How else to inspire a man into his devotion for you?

Yeah, let me just. Because there's a couple other steps that I would normally communicate and so let me just summarize it real quickly and then we can talk to everybody in the chat and see what's going on with you guys. So the next kind of phase that you want to go through is this idea of, you know, Brody kind of talked about. I call it an interest test, where basically you just stop doing anything, right? So you just stop doing anything and just wait, right? And you want to give him a little bit of space so that he can fill in that gap of that vacuum that we were talking about before. It's kind of the same thing on. On both sides, right? There's a vacuum that's created, and either one of you could do something and, you know, fill in that vacuum. You want him to do it, right? And so you want to give him a little bit of space. And what's going to happen is either he's going to fill in that space or he's not, and either one is fine. It doesn't mean necessarily if he doesn't fill in that space that you never want. You never want to talk him to him again, and he's a ghoster and just bury the dead, right? You don't. None of that is necessary, okay? But what you do want to do is just. It'll tell you a little bit about what's going on with him. And then next what you want to do is just show some interest, right? Make sure that you're showing him interest. Because one of the biggest mistakes that a lot of women make that they come to me with because they're like, oh, this guy pulled away and this happened is that they weren't showing any space because they learned about this idea of leaning back, right? And they learned it from somebody that has no idea what leaning back actually means. And what they ended up doing is leaning so far back that they fell out of their chair, and the guy didn't know that she was interested. So you want to show interest, but then you want to give him space to. It's basically, I call it an invitation, right? Show him interest. Give him some space and direction to fill that in and start pursuing you and showing you that he wants. That he's interested, that he's willing to invest, right? Show. Show that. That. That he likes you enough, right? The. The most important indicator that a guy is really into you, that he really likes you, is his willingness to put energy, effort, time, attention, money, and like, actual movement towards you, right? And. And that is, you know, we call all of that just effort, right? It's. His effort is a show of his interest, right? And that's especially initially, especially in the early phases, especially before you're in a relationship, those are the most important. That's the most important indicator that he's actually interested in you. And so that. That's kind of what you want to do. Does that.

As I said, yeah, that's good. And I want to. I want to get your thoughts on this too. Matt. What do you. What are your thoughts and feelings around a woman being vulnerable with a man in the sense of sharing what's going on for her in her heart, where she's at as a. Another way of testing how interested a man is or how committed he is. Do you have any thought thoughts about that?

Well, I, I think that showing vulnerability, you know, outside of just finding out how interesting he is, because, you know, there's. There's a lot of things that can happen when you show vulnerability, but the most important thing is that you are letting go of your wall and you're connecting to your heart. You're allowing yourself to open yourself up. Right. This, it's in, in psychology, they call it opening. This is like an opening. Right. Creating an opening is being vulnerable. And it's a really, really powerful connection technique. Connection thing to do. Right. Like you. It's a powerful way of connecting with a guy. I'm not sure where you were looking to go with it from there.

Yeah, just. Just like you mentioned, giving a man space as a way to gauge his interest. Right. And see what he does sort of as a test. And I was just curious if you had any thoughts around sort of the opposite as well, the opposite extreme of giving a man space, of a woman exposing her heart to a man in a very vulnerable, respectful way as a way to gauge how a man responds to that?

I, you know, honestly, I haven't really thought about it that way. Is there something that you have that you notice that's really powerful around that?

Yeah, just. That's. That's one interesting aspect we've been teaching in our. In our courses. We've been doing that for last year or so, but because I used to recommend that as well, like giving a man space to see how he responds and as a test of relationship. And then we've also seen the opposite extreme. It can also be effective. I think both are effective ways to test and you make do it in a combination, actually about giving a man a vulnerable glimpse into a woman's heart and then giving him space to see afterwards how he responds. But it's interesting to think about that. You could really see how a man responds from both of those things. I think those are both interesting tests of a man to see how does he respond when you give him space and what does he do? And then also how does he respond when you kind of do the opposite of that, but doing it in a respectful way where you're very vulnerable and real and raw with him as far as your open heart. Right. And see what he does and if he steps up or changes. For example, if a woman were to, say, have a vulnerable conversation with a man to share that she's feeling anxiety in her system or a part of her feels anxious in the relationship because she, you know, was abandoned as a child or she had these things happen and she just wants to share that with him and, you know, not telling him what to do, but just to be open and that, you know, could he help her or could he. Does he have any thoughts about that? Just to kind of share what's going on for her inner system to see how he responds and what he does from that. Cool.

I mean, it sounds pretty powerful to me. We haven't, we haven't done anything around that specifically, but it sounds like you guys figured something really cool out. So bravo on that.

Yeah, it's, it's different. It's more intense, but it's. Yeah, we found it to be very, very effective as well. So, anyways, we could start answering some questions here because I know we have a good amount that came in. And so, by the way, if you're a woman watching this right now, and we're live, go ahead and leave your comment or question below. We're going to answer as many questions as we can and let us know about something that came up during this training with you, something we mentioned or something you're dealing with specifically with a guy or in your love life in general. And we'd be happy to give you some tips on that. So I'm going to go ahead and start bringing some on. So Sira said, I can't wait. This is, I'm excited. Great. Glad you're here. So Barbara said, never chase a man. Yep. We agree. Okay. Darlene said, question is praising and complimenting man. Is that considered masculine or is that just a general thing? Thanks for your answer. Well, I could give my thoughts on that, Matt, and then I want to hear yours. So complimenting a man actually is, in my view, masculine. And here's the reason why. When you're complimenting a man, you are in the position of judging him, because what's the reverse of a compliment? The reverse of a compliment is criticism. Right. It's saying something you're Doing is either good or bad. So you're in the position, when you're complimenting a man, you're kind of in the judge position. You're saying, oh, you're doing good, or, oh, you're doing bad, or you, you are. There's this is something you that is great about you or this is something that is bad about you. So they're both different positions of you sort of judging him and in a way being critical of him, whether good or bad. And of course the good is going to be easier for a man to receive. But every man has a masculine core. And even at some level, a masculine man is going to feel that if you're giving him a compliment, that he's still being judged in some way and that you're in this position of determining whether his behavior or something about him is good or bad. Now converse that with appreciation. So I make a distinction between compliments and appreciation. So compliments would be saying something like, you look. So what would be like a good compliment? What's an example of a good compliment?

Matt Brody, your slicked back hair is just so stunning today.

Oh, I got a good one. Matt, your eyes are so beautiful. You should never close them. You should sleep with your eyes open. Never ever close your eyes. So that would be like a compliment, right? Never ever just go around like this because your eyes are so beautiful, you got everyone to see them. So that'd be like a good compliment. And then so appreciation would be more how a man has impacted you. So saying something like, when you helped me with fixing my car, I felt so safe. Or when you, when you told that guy to walk away from us, I felt so safe. And thank you so much. So it's more about how his actions made you feel. You make me feel happy. You make me feel safe. You make me feel sexy. You make me feel great. So these are ways that you're sharing your simply sharing your open, feminine, vulnerable heart. So it's an interesting conversation, and I'm still working out some of the details and how I feel about it. But this difference between complimenting and appreciation can actually be the difference between a masculine approach and a feminine approach. And of course, it's not going to end the relationship if you tell a man he has beautiful eyes. But there's certain things about it that actually puts you almost into a mothering role of like, oh, you're doing a good job, honey. And so we want to avoid that so that you can then simply let him take the lead and be appreciated for what he does. Or does not do, but I want to get your thoughts on that. Do you have any thoughts on any of that, Matt, around complimenting versus appreciation?

You know, honestly, I think we could do an entire live stream on the topic around that whole thing. Yeah, there's a bunch of different perspectives you can look at. You could look at it from a value perspective. You know, when you're complimenting someone, you're raising their value, right? You're going, you are really amazing, right. In some way, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's also, you know, if you. Especially if you're doing it very sparingly. I liked what Brody was just talking about, because what he's talking about is getting into your emotions and being like, how do I feel, right? And how do I communicate what's. What the feeling is that I have right now to him? Which is a very feminine thing to do. It's. It's connecting with yourself and then communicating what's going on inside of you, inside of your emotions and your body and how you're feeling to him, which is really, really a. It's very feminine. It's also very powerful. Um, and it. You can do that. That. You can do that a lot more than complimenting a guy, right? Because it's. It doesn't. It doesn't fall apart or it doesn't Over. It doesn't feel as weird, right? Like, if you're like, one of the problems that a lot of women have when you tell them, like, oh, hey, do this one technique, right? Is they take it, and then they, like, you know, I mean, that becomes their thing, and then they're like, oh, compliments, right? I'm Gonna give him 300 compliments, right? I had a woman one time who came to me and she bought my texting program, and she. She sent. There's like, you know, there's like 300 text messages in this compliment or in this texting program. And she sent every single text message to him in the series of couple days from this texting program, right? And she was like. She was like, oh, he loves it. And he's, you know, he's. He's doing all these great. And she's like, well, what do I send them next? You know? And I'm like, first off, like, you know, I mean, it's just. It's weird that you're taking all of them and used every single one in a, you know, in such a short period of time. But the other thing is that you don't need, like, these big techniques. All the time. Right. Most conversations. And most of the time, when you're talking to a guy, it's just going to be normal talk. Right. It's going to be boring. It's, you know, it's not going to be that interesting. And so, you know, I. I would like compliments. They're okay. You know, I don't overuse them. You know, if you do want to do anything, sprinkle it in a little bit. You know, I think there's better things to do. If you want to create a romantic frame around the situation with a guy and connect with him and flirt with him and all that kind of stuff. There's better things to do than compliment. One of the things is what Brody was talking about, which is connecting to your heart and communicating.

Beautiful. I love that. All right, awesome. We got another question from K. She said, what do you think about a man who says he likes to be pursued? He likes for the woman to earn his time and attention because if she isn't that invested in him, she can move along. Oh, boy. Yeah. I would say my first impression is this is a more feminine man at his core. I mean, not at his core. At his core, he's a masculine man, but he's learned through either because he was damaged in the past. A lot of these men end up entering more into their feminine because they put themselves out there in their masculine in the past, and they were hurt. So they invested into a relationship. They gave a lot. They were providing. They were taking care of her and showing care for her heart and leading in. In different ways. But then she ended up cheating on him, or she broke up with him, and he's like, oh, I'm never doing that again. Like, now, moving forward, a woman has to show me that she's interested. Or else before I do anything, like, I need a woman to show to me that she's worth investing into. And so he's kind of guarded, and he's gotten into this chip on his shoulder oftentimes, which has led him into this more feminine approach towards relationships because he hasn't learned how to balance it. Because when likely, what he was doing in the past was he was being more what we call the nice guy and giving too much and people pleasing and sacrificing himself to try to make his woman happy, maybe buying her things. And she didn't respect him because he wasn't respecting himself. Ultimately, he was doing things for her that didn't feel good to him, but because he wanted to be liked. And so now he's in the reverse now he's moving more into the kind of side of things or more feminine side of things. And he wants a woman to be giving to him and taking the leadership role in the relationship. So that's my impression on him so far. And so what do you, what do you think about that?

Yeah, you're totally right. He's living in fear, right. Because of pain. He experienced pain in the past and it was so painful to him that now he's latched on to that pain and he's dragging it into the future with him. Right. And what that looks like, there's a book out there, it's called A Course in Miracles. And one of the things that they talk about, one of the things that they say in that book is that every communication is either a, it's either a loving response or it's a cry for help. And this is a cry for help. Right. What he's saying is, I'm in pain. I was hurt. And because I was hurt, I'm trying to control everything because I'm scared out of my mind that I'm going to get hurt again. And that fear is driving all of his actions and it's going to continue driving his actions until he heals that pain and comes from a place of strength and love and kindness, which is where he needs to be coming from, is, is a confident, strong place where he's not afraid of the future and he's not trying to control everything. What's going to happen in this situation, Kcal, is that this guy is, there's going to be more and it's going to get worse and it's going to continue indefinitely until he gets it together and lets go of the fear and starts living from his power, you know, live, living from his highest self, which he's not doing right now. And so, yeah, I mean, I, I don't, I wouldn't do it. I, if I were you, I'd say no thank you to that one. This guy, I, I give him a thumbs down. Bad guy, no good. K, Kel. Bad guy. Stay away from this guy if he wants to do that. Right. So all these things are negotiation, right? He's going, this is what I want, right? I want it so that you do everything and you know, like, and he's trying to flip the thing around so that you are the one chasing and pursuing him. And my suggestion is that you just don't do it. And you say, well, you know, I'm best thing to say is something like, you know, I'm more of a traditional woman. And you know, I like it when guys, you know, pursue me. And so if you want me to pursue you, then I guess we just aren't compatible. Sorry.

Yeah, that's, that's what I would recommend as well. And you can also give him a period of time where you give him whatever it might be week, a month, we have a 90 day challenge. It depends on how long you've been with this guy and what you'd recommend or what we would recommend. But you. The beautiful thing is through the law of polarity, which states that opposite energies attract. When you become more feminine, you're going to attract more masculine energy. And so you can inspire him into his masculine by like what Matt is saying. First, you do not accept those terms. I'm not going to be in my masculine, no, thank you. And then instead to enter your feminine. And the way you can actually do that with him right away is by starting to use feminine communication and actually share with him how that all makes you feel. All that you just said to us, like, how does that make you feel? Listen into your heart, listen into your gut. What is the raw emotions that that makes you feel? It's probably anxiety, sadness, maybe fear, maybe uncertainty. And to share that with him respectfully, may I share something with you around that? Sure. I'm feeling, I feel some anxiety and some fear. Why are you feeling anxious and fear? Well, because you're saying that you want me to step in. You're asking me, you just mentioned you want me to be in my masculine essentially or you want me to take the lead in the relationship and chase and pursue you. And I'm telling myself a story that we're not going to be able to have a healthy dynamic in the relationship and I'm not going to be enjoying being the masculine or taking the lead because I'm a more traditional woman, like Matt was saying. Or I, I just, you don't even have to justify it. Just, I don't, I wouldn't, I don't feel I would enjoy that. And I'm concerned that we're not going to be a match and I don't know what to do. And you give it up to him to say his case. So like why he's feeling that way or what? Because likely if he's coming from that damaged place, what he actually wants is to know that you care and to know that you're invested in the relationship. And so if you're actually showing your feminine vulnerable heart and you're being doing so respective, respectfully you're showing him in that moment that you do care, that you are invested in some level, that you're at least willing to be vulnerable with him and show the impact of his words on you in a respectful way and let him then feel that, feel your feminine vulnerability and then hopefully be inspired to want to help and say, like, look, babe, I don't want you to feel that way. I, I'm just saying, like, I, you know, been taken advantage of in the past and I don't. I'm really afraid of that happening. He may be really authentic with you too. Then he's like, I, I just don't want to get caught in a relationship like with my ex. I don't want that to happen again. And like, maybe there's a, maybe there's a way we can work. I, I just need more validation from you. I just need to know that you're really invested in this relationship. You don't necessarily have to make all the decisions and plan out dates and do things for me, but I want to know that you're really in this so that if I start stepping up more and doing things, that you're not going to just take advantage of me like my ex. And so you guys could have potentially a really good conversation. And that could be a series of conversations that you open up that could start shifting him more into his healthy masculine. When he understands that you are, you're emotionally invested in the relationship and you're not going to take advantage of him and you're going to be open and, and communicative with him during, throughout the process. And then if you guys can work out a good dynamic, then you can have a beautiful relationship. And that's why it's going to be helpful to have some coaching support and to have some little tweaks around this so that these conversations, when they happen, they're not going to go sour and turn into arguments or turn into him feeling blamed or judged. But that's another path you can go down that hopefully will inspire him into his masculine. And it's still salvageable, I feel, but it may not be and you may have to walk away ultimately if it's not. So.

Yeah, it's a, it depends on a few different things, right? One of them is how long he's been in this pattern of fear. And the longer he's been in the pattern of fear, the more difficult it is for him to step of, step over that and step into his healthy masculine strength. And so it, you know, having a strong. Like that, what Brody was just talking about with, like, having just a. Like a real conversation, real conscious conversation about what's going on here and sharing your emotions and being raw and real and. And allowing him to do the same thing. That can be a very, very powerful and healing thing for him. So thanks for sharing that.

Yeah, that's great. Royal Daily Tea said, I would avoid a man who says he wants to be chased. Yeah, just stay away. Usually the general response is just kind of respectfully declined. Tracy said, crazy. I'm going through this right now. I bought him so much. I have him, gave him everything. I can't do enough. And he just dumped me last week like I'm nothing. Yeah, so that's exactly what we're talking about. Tracy, earlier, sorry to hear that. But that's what often happens, you know, Benjamin Franklin had a story, if you read his biographies, he tells us in his autobiography as well, where he noticed, when he was new to Philadelphia, he was wanting to connect with some of the more socially well off people in his city, and he was doing favors for them, and he was buying them things and trying to win favor with them that way. But then he had a shift in mindset one day where he had this idea, you know, I'm going to instead ask. There's like, I think there was this mayor there, somebody he wanted to connect to for his printing business. He was trying to get started. He said, I'm gonna. I'm gonna ask him for a favor. I'm gonna ask him for some recommendations or how I can do this with my business. And he. He did that. He. He approached the mayor and asked him for some advice, and the mayor gave him some advice. And then the mayor ended up actually taking him under his wing and wanting to mentor him, because now what happened is he switched the dynamic. Instead of now he was giving to these high well off people, and they were in some ways feeling obligated to him, which people don't really like to feel obligated. Like, oh, you've given so much to me. How am I ever going to repay you? But instead, Benjamin Franklin asked the guy to give him a gift, and the guy now gave him a gift. And now the guy actually felt invested into Benjamin. He felt invested that he wanted to then actually see Benjamin succeed, because that would also look good on him if he invested into this young man. And then the young man ends up becoming successful. He's like, oh, I helped create that. And so there's a lot of psychological dynamics that were going on that we're talking about. But that's what happens when you stop giving to a man and instead ask him to give to you. Now they're feeling. He's feeling more responsible for your happiness. He's getting to feel like the hero that he's been able to invest into you. And now you're like this beautiful flower that's blooming under his care that he's been able to cultivate you being a happy woman. He's got a sense of meaning and purpose out of that, that he's doing a good job, rather than the other way around, where you've given and given, given to him and he invested. And now you feel. He feels a sense of obligation, like, oh, man, she's doing so much to me. I don't know how I'm ever going to repay her. But. And a lot of people often just unfortunately walk away from those situations because they don't like the feeling of obligation. So they're just going to be like, peace out. And it's a painful dynamic. But you can reverse that to your favor when you stop giving and allow him to give to you. You start asking him for help, you start asking him for advice, you start presenting problems for him. And, babe, could you help me with my car? It's having an issue right now. I can't figure it out. Oh, yeah, I could fix this for you. Let me do this. And this. Oh, you're my hero. Thank you so much. You're amazing. How did you learn how to do all this? And now he's feeling like, oh, yeah, I'm the man. I fixed it. And this is my woman. I could care for her. I can win with her. This is easy. I enjoy this. I could do this all day long. So you switch the dynamic. Do you have any thoughts on that, Matt? Anything?

Yeah, I mean, I. I totally agree with what you just said. And that's exactly what you want to do, Tracy. And just remember that you're valuable. You know that you deserve to have a great guy in your life. You deserve to have someone who values you and treats you well and wants to be with you and isn't going to just give it up for nothing. And so, you know, just remember that, you know, and come from that. And, you know, some. Sometimes the situations that we get into are, you know, they're lessons. They're lessons to be learned. And this is a painful lesson to learn in your situation, but you can get through it, and you can get into a. A situation where one day you're going to look back on this and you're going to say, this is so much better than what I was doing before anyway, you know, before, you know when you're giving and you're doing everything, you're exhausted, you're tired, you're stressed out, you're anxious, you're not even sure what's going on with him, which is crazy. Creating uncertainty within you and it's, it sucks, right? And when you're in a great situation, you're going to look back on that and you're going to say, you know what? Thank God. Thank God I didn't get what it was that I thought I wanted. Because the what God's, God has for you is so much better than the things that have passed you up at this point. So just wait for it, it's coming and just own it and receive it.

Yes, God's rejection is God's protection often. And yeah, you're going to get there, Tracy. And you never went like what Matt was saying, you never lose. If you get the lesson, you know, there's no failure. If you get the lesson and you really integrate it and say, I'm going to stop being in my masculine in the future. I'm going to stop giving to men and I'm going to practice instead being my feminine, being vulnerable, being open, sharing appreciation, sharing my feelings, sharing my problems. And letting a man step into that masculine role like in the dance, let him lead, let him start to move the relationship forward. And that you're not, you're not going to play that you're not going to step into the mask and you just not stop the madness. It's, it's, it's important. And Sandra said, you guys are awesome. I need to hear this today. Great. Sandra, glad it was helpful and is helping you. Harriet said, let's share the live so others can benefit. Yes, share this video. We're going to change lives. We're going to help more women more create more happy relationships in the world. So please share it. Marcy said, sorry sweetie, he was not meant to be yours. Yeah, it's often a chance. Often the truth with that. Let's see. Let's get another juicy question here. There's a follow up from Tracy. I'm here, can't do anything. I'm waiting to hear from him and I'm not. I feel I did wrong but now I know I treated him so good but he says no, it's not me, it's him. He's not ready for relationship and I'm sick to my stomach. Yeah, basically the same things we Already said I don't think we need to add anything else on to that right now, so, again, sorry to hear that. Tracy K. Said definitely not acting like that. He never was on the pedestal. I just have never really encountered a man who likes to be pursued like that. Okay.

Yeah, she passed him up. That's what. That's what we like to hear. Kcal.

Here's a good question for you, Matt. Why do men who ghosted you want to come back?

Because they. They realize that they. They made a mistake. They went. They went the wrong direction, that. That you're amazing. So one of the. One of the things. One of the things that happens is that a lot of guys, they. They have issues. You know, they got some issues. Some guys got some issues, and so they leave, right? Because their issues come up, right? Their insecurities, their, you know, their feelings of not being good enough. They're afraid that they can't be the man for you. The afraid that you're gonna find out who they really are, and then you're gonna not like who they are, right? And so they run away. They're like, whoa, right? They're gone. And then they're. And then, you know, they're gone, and they're like, wait, it was really great with Harriet. And then they're like, harriet, can you. Can I come back? Can I come back? Leave. Right? And so this is what happens, right? So, yeah, I mean, ultimately, you know, the question is, you know, how many times does this happen, Harriet? How many times does this happen, Harriet? Right, because, you know, with a lot of guys, this is a pattern, right? So what he does is he disappears, and then he comes back. You know, I don't know what your situation is, Harriet, but it could be weeks, could be months. We. I had a woman come to me one time, and this guy came back to her every three months, right? He'd hang out for a few weeks and then disappear for three. Three months. And it was this thing that happened over years. She was dealing with this, right? And so the question. The next question is, are you going to allow it, you know, and are you going to continue allowing it? And I. I suggest that you don't. Right? And the first thing that you need to do is really start believing that you deserve more. And when you start believing that you deserve more, you won't allow situations like this to continue happening. You won't let guys come in and leave and do all that kind of stuff. But. And, you know, we can work with you on the communication and how to talk to this guy and how to connect with this guy in a way that could get him to step back up or, you know, could put you in a situation with this guy and say, and. Yeah. Did you want to say anything about that, brother?

No, I think that's good. I don't have anything else to add to that. I think you covered it. It's a similar question. Sigma said what to do when he plays hot and cold, says that he loves you. It's very similar.

Yeah. I mean, it really depends on how long this has been going on, you know, how long have you been seeing? It tells you. You know, we have some women, sometimes they show up and they're like, well, had a woman not too long ago in my community came in, she was like, yeah, this guy, I've been dating him for three weeks. They've never even met before. And he's telling her he loves her, and then he disappears. And I'm like, you guys haven't even met. Like, if you haven't met a guy, like, you haven't met him at all in real life. Just don't even take him seriously. Don't take, like, it. Tinder. Let me. Let me give you guys a shocking revelation. Tinder. 60% of guys on Tinder are not even single, okay? They're either in a relationship or married. That's 60. So you only have 40% of the guys that you're talking to on Tinder that are even single, right? And then, you know, a good percentage of those guys are scammers. Another percentage of those guys are, you know, like, guys that just want to hook up with you. Another percentage of those guys, you know, like. And then you, like, whatever that percentage is of actual single guys. Like, you have to actually, like, like the guy, and he's gonna like you. You know, I mean, all that kind of stuff. So most guys just don't take them seriously. And, you know, don't let a guy treat you like that. You know, that's ultimately what it boils down to, is how much do you value yourself to the extent that you're like, hey, I deserve to be treated well. And when you come from that space, you shift, everything changes for you, and you start looking at guys that are ghosting and going hot and cold and all this stuff, and you start thinking and you start feeling, oh, that's really gross, and that's really boring. And, you know, you know, I'm just. I'm really unattractive. I'm just not attracted to that. And those guys start falling away, and they either step up and become better men for you, or they disappear and open up room for the right kind of guy to have in your life.

Yeah, that's great. And like you said, there are a lot of scammers out there and we've experienced this a lot in the women. It's unfortunate, but again, exactly what Matt said. If you haven't met in person, be very careful and basically consider it a high likelihood it's a scammer of some kind or a guy that doesn't have great intentions. And just be aware. Be aware. We don't want you to get caught into a trap of so many of those bad situations that come from just random guys online and painting these fantasies for you that they love you and they want to be, have a family and get married and blah, blah, blah. It's. Well, until you've had a conversation, at least on the phone or met in person, he's shown real investment and he's shown that he's a real person and he's single and he's available and he's not married, then you gotta be very careful. There's a good question here from Sandra. She said, my guy left me because I was too emotional. May I attract him back? So one assumption I want you to question, Sandra, is the fact that he left you because you were too emotional. Now, it could be true. And the way I would help you to see this, the conversation around emotions is that there are no ugly emotions. One thing we teach is there are no ugly emotions. There are only ugly behaviors. So what could have happened, and this happens a lot in relationships, is that a woman will actually use her emotions to try to control a man and to try to manipulate him. The classic case is when a woman is crying and saying, like, why won't you just. Why can't we just be together? Or why won't you do xyz? Or, you know, why can't you just love me the way I need? And so she's using her tears or she's using her emotions to try to, like, get an outcome from him, which is actually masculine. It's masculine in the same sense that a child will throw a tantrum to try to get their parents to buy them a toy. So imagine if you would be like the child who's crying to her adult to try to get the toy, which would be like his commitment or him reaching out to you more or leaving his. His ex or who someone he's with already. Maybe he's already in a relationship, who knows? But you're Trying to get an outcome from him rather than simply sharing your heart, vulnerably detached from the outcome. Because here's the thing, the masculine is getting outcomes. The feminine is detached from the outcome. The feminine is enjoying the process and enjoying the journey. The masculine is making things happen, achieving goals, achieving visions, expectations. And so you're detached from the outcome. And so when you share your emotions, if you're sharing from a place of detachment from the outcome and being authentic and vulnerable and respectful, that's beautiful to a man. A man wants to feel your heart. A man wants to feel your emotions. Even the so called negative emotions like anxiety, fear, sadness, like a man still wants to feel those from you as long as you're not putting them onto him and saying like, you're making me feel sad, you're making me feel anxious, or you hurt me, or you're making me feel xyz or you need to change or you need to fix this or you need to, why can't we just be together? Something like that. That's you trying to control him. That's you trying to lead the dance from the masculine. So as opposed to saying, I feel sad and I don't know what to do, or I'm feeling anxious, could I have, may I have some help? Or could you help me? That's like a very vulnerable thing. That's like you saying, I'm feeling this emotions and it's almost like as if he's not even there. It's like you're sharing it to God. You're like saying, I feel anxious, I don't know what to do. To do. Could you help me? God, if that's kind of, that's the kind of energy is like, I don't know what to do with this. And then he's getting to witness your vulnerability, your feminine openness. And that is likely what's going to inspire him to say you, you activate the knight in shining armor. Instinct within him to say, I'm gonna help the damsel in distress. The damsel needs me, my woman needs me. She's suffering and I, I'm. And then he puts the blame on himself. He could say like, shoot, she's not happy. And I feel like I'm responsible for this. You haven't told him he's responsible, but he starts to feel that like I don't want her to be happy. Now. It's a totally different dynamic where he's coming closer to you rather than pulling away when you're telling him, when you're trying to manipulate him. With your emotions versus when you're sharing your emotions vulnerably. It's the difference between masculine energy and feminine energy that draws him closer, pushes him away. So that's what we want to teach you. We want to help you how to use your emotions in a proper way that draws him in. So I want to hear if you have any thoughts on that, Matt.

Yeah, I. It's so just like what Brody was saying. It's likely not that you're too emotional, it's likely that you were acting through it in a way that did something that either triggered him or was inappropriate, one of the two. And.

Or disrespectful.

Yeah, disrespectful rights. Something like that. And so, yeah, the, the question, you know, your question is, may I attract him back? And the answer is, yeah, potentially. And what needs to happen to. Because you can attract guys back. Like breakups are very, very, very common. People tend to get back together with whoever their ex was. Right. Ex back situations very commonly get back together, but they rarely stay back together. And the reason that they rarely stay back together is because whatever the problem was that created two people to leave each other in the first place isn't addressed. And so if you want to get him back, you need to address whatever the reason is that he left. And that may have to do with you, it may have to do with him, it may have to do with both of you, but you need to address that or it's not. It doesn't matter if you get him back or not because he's just going to leave again because the problem is still there. That created enough pain that he decided to leave.

Yes. You want to use what we're teaching you and do it over a period of time with him. Give yourself 30 days, 60 days. Use a 90 day challenge and see how he starts to change. You want to look for progress rather than perfection. It likely, even if you use the best technique that we gave you, the best script, he's likely not. Your whole relationship dynamic is not going to change overnight. But what we want to look for is he's making the effort, the extra effort, putting in the intention and showing progress. That's what we want to look for. And then you can start to get your relationship on an upward spiral because you'll then continue to use what practice what we're teaching you and you'll be able to have these deeper, more impactful conversations with him and hopefully you can reverse the dynamic and have him start coming back to you and have a great relationship. But it's going to take a little bit of some navigation in those first moments. But yeah, we can definitely get you there. And it's going to be a process and, and I believe it's almost always possible. We just have to get you the right strategy in place and the right scripts and exactly what to do so that you, you actually can get there and not again screw it up or continue to have it be not moving forward. All right, so here's another one from Trillium. This is a good one and we should be able to start wrapping up. How are you doing for time, Matt? Good. Okay, maybe answer one or two more. We'll see how it goes. So Trillian said, I agree with showing your heart and being vulnerable. It's very hard for us women who are in our masculine most of the time due to our cross careers, lives, et cetera. But how else can he know who you are? Exactly. That's beautiful. How else can he know? How else can he feel your heart? And so at the end of the day it is, it is going to be hard. Especially if you are a single mom or you have a career or you have you got bills to pay and you're like, I need to be in my masculine for these areas because being a parent is a masculine role. It's very masculine. I'm a parent and I know that I have to constantly be. And my wife also has to be in her masculine with our daughter to make sure she's safe, to make sure she's protected, to make sure she's provided for. Again, these are all masculine roles, right? Protection, protector, provider, hero. You have to be that for your child and then same with your career. You often have to do things to handle things and make things happen. How do we shift that in your romantic life? How do we shift that so that you can be the feminine, you can be this feminine high value woman that's open and available and it's going to involve taking off the armor. Imagine when you come home from work, work. I think David Data had an analogy around this. When you come home from work, you're taking off the armor and you're setting it down, just take it off, be free. And whether that's, you know, going on a date after work or going home from work. And when you're with your man, take off the armor, open it up, open up the, the, give the armor to him, Let him be the, the warrior, let him be the protector, provider, hero. It's like imagine just in your mind taking that armor off and Putting it on him. He gets to be the tough one, he gets to be the strong one. And you can just be open, relaxed, receptive, sharing, available, appreciative, respectful, and let him be your hero. Let him start to take charge and take the lead. And you're peeling back the layers of the onions. It's going to feel scary because taking off the armor, it's going to feel like you're exposed. Holy crap. I could be hurt, I could be rejected, and that's possible. But the other alternative is not being able to have a loving, devoted relationship because there's no space. The men, you're just roommates. There's no polarity. You got this masculine armor, and he's got his armor on. And now you're just two soldiers on the battlefield. That's not really enjoyable for anybody. So that's. It's going to be a process. It's going to take courage, and at the end of the day, it's. It's revealing and being who you really are. Like you said, at the core, the feminine core, and that's what's going to draw him in. Do you have any thoughts on that, Matt?

I mean, I. I've got a lot of thoughts, and the only thing that I'm going to leave you with on that is just. Just that it's a skill and it's a habit and just spend time, you know, like what you've been doing and what a lot of women are doing right now is they're. They're getting into a habit of being in their masculine right. They're being pushed there, they're stepping into it in order to survive or whatever it is that you're doing. A lot of women are doing it because they've had pain in the past, and it's easier way to cope and deal with their pain is to step into their masculine, or at least they think that it is. And so I just get into a habit of switching, you know, and, and build that over time. And I'm, you know, I'm not a woman, so I don't know, but I hear that it's very difficult to, you know, put on all these different hats that you're wearing for all these different things. And, you know, we shouldn't have to expect you to do all that. And, and that's kind of the situation we're in right now. And so, you know, we can definitely help you with that if you need help.

Yeah, that's great. Jay said what if he does not communicate any longer? Should we let go in his last message, he said we would for sure go to a place he had proposed when we first started dating. After a bent a bit, he sent me a reel. So what, what if he does not communicate any longer? Should we let go? What do you think, Matt?

Yeah, I would give it. Give it a little bit of time, right? Give it. Give him some space, right? So we talked about this interest test earlier where you're just like giving him some space and seeing what he's doing, and it can show you his interest in whether he actually sometimes they just need a little bit of time to miss you, right? And so just take some time and let them miss you for a little while. And that can be anywhere from three to seven days. Just give them some space. Let it go, you know, get yourself busy, get your mind elsewhere. I know your mind might be, you know, all over the place, what's going on and does he love me? And all that kind of stuff and just drop all that, get into a good space, you know, build yourself up and take some time and let him go for a little bit. And if you want to reach out to him after somewhere between three and seven days, go ahead and do that. It's not a big deal. But if he's not communicating at all anymore with you, then, I mean, it sounds like. Because you said he.

You want to use. You want to use Matt's four word text. You do.

There's a forward text message, we lost you, Brody. But there's a forward word text message that you can send to a guy that can get his attention. But yeah, I just give him a few days and then you can reach out to him and. And yeah, so that, that's what I would do. I. You know, at a certain point he has to communicate, right? It takes two. Takes two. As they say. It takes two to tango. If you don't know what tango is, is a dance, right? So it takes two people to dance together, right? And this dance is a romantic relationship where he's gonna look you in the eyes and say, jay, you're such an amazing, beautiful woman. I can't believe that I let you. I just sent you a reel. That was it. That was it, Jay. That's all I did was send you a reel. Totally lost Brody. All together now. But, yeah, that's. That's what I would do. So I'm gonna go. Since Brody's left us, I. I'm still here.

I'm just trying. I'm just trying to fix my camera situation. It's. It's very Odd. It's not letting me access any cameras here. All right. I might just be here on audio. I'm gonna. Let me see if I can hide my video. Actually, that's really weird. Stop my cam. There was one other question I want to answer before we wrap up today. My camera's not going on. It's the beauty of doing live video here. Where was it? Oh, here's the one from Darlene. I think this will be the last question for today. So Darlene said question. He calls me. He also calls me things like his backbone, his armor, which to me is kind of rubs me the wrong way. I don't feel comfortable getting those type of labels. So thank you for your answer. I want to say that's beautiful, Darlene. The fact that you felt uncomfortable when he labeled you like that shows that you are still connected to your feminine core. Because when you're connected to your feminine instinct and your feminine core, things like that are going to make you feel off. They're going to feel weird. They're going to feel bad, essentially, because he's trying to basically make you into a man. He's trying to say, you are my backbone. You are my armor. You are my hero. You are my protector. You are my man. It's basically what he's saying. And so if you think of it like that, of course it's going to feel bad to you. It's like, wait, I'm not a man. I'm not a hero. I'm. I'm like, I'm a woman. I'm a queen. I'm a princess. Like, I want to be taken care of, too. I want to have a man be my king. I want to be, you know, provided for and protected and taken care of. So just like the reverse of this would be when you say something to a man like, oh, hey, babe, you are. You are. What would be, like, an example of that? Well, no, when you give a man a gift, so how you're feeling right now is also how a man will feel when you give him a gift. When you're saying, when you're giving him a gift. And a man who's connected to his masculine core is going to feel a little bit bad about that. He's feeling like, wait, why is she giving me a gift? Am I now the woman? Am I being protected and provided for? Am I the feminine now? And if he's a mask of man, that's not going to feel good to him when you're doing things for him also. Like, for example, you're Giving him a gift or you're, let's say you're reminding him of things. Obey. Don't forget to pick up the XYZ today. You forgot last time. That's like you treating him like a little boy. Right? Don't forget you're giving him reminders or you're giving him a gift. Now he's in his feminine. That's going to feel bad to him in the same way that it would feel bad to you if a man is saying, treating you like a man and saying, oh, can you cover the bill this time? Could you treat me? We actually had. There's actually, I don't know if you heard this Matt, but there's a love coach, a pretty well known love coach. We heard a story of that. He went on a date with one of our friends and at the end of the date he said could you treat me? And you can imagine how she responded to that with basically utter disgust for. From her feminine core. So that would be the same thing. So yeah, if a man is giving you those labels for one, it's good that you, you don't feel good about that because that shows you're connected. And then what you need to do is share your feelings about that. Share, be open and vulnerable and move into your feminine and share how that makes you feel. When he says that you're his armor and his backbone, that that doesn't likely what you would probably feel is that doesn't. That feels brings up some feelings of discomfort or anxiety. And the reason why is because I'm telling myself a story that you want me to take the role in our relationship of being the protector, provider, hero, being the leader and I, I want to also be, I desire to also feel taken care of and cherished and adored and I don't know what to do and let him handle it and let him say, oh no, I don't want you. I didn't mean that. And hopefully he'll start being inspired into his masculine. So do you have any thoughts about that, Matt?

I was, you know, my thoughts are very similar to what you're talking about talking about which is, you know, just communicate with what you're feeling and communicate what it is that you want. Right. Not in like I want you to do this but you know, how you want things to go, how you want the relationship to feel, how you want, you know, think what, what you like, what we're talking about before with the relationship over man thing, you know, communicate what it is that, that, you know, what that feels like to you or what you'd like it to feel like how you want to be connected. You know what? You want that to. To feel like that's one of the most powerful things that you can do. Oh, we got Brody back.

Awesome. I figured it out. I had to refresh my. My browser here. Why Open up another tab.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And just don't. Don't. Don't let a man put the armor on you to just deny it. Take it off. Like, I don't. I don't want to do that. It doesn't feel good to me. And I love it when. When a man is taking. Taking charge. It makes me feel so attracted. It's so sexy when a man is. I love it when you're making decisions. Turns me on. Turns me on when you're planning the date. It turns me on when you pay for the date or. I feel so amazing, and I feel, like, so cherished when you do these things for me. You inspire him. You use appreciation to inspire him back into his hero. He can be the hero for you.

So he's. He's in his little boy. Yeah, he's in this little boy right now, you know, and. And that's. It happens, right? Guys sometimes get into the little boys, and that place is like this fearful, scared, like, I need somebody to coddle me and help me kind of a place. And, you know, you could call that feminine. You can call it kind of this, like, little. Little boy energy or whatever, but it's like you're. You're right, Darlene. You are right to feel grossed out by this whole thing and for it to rub you the wrong way. You are right to feel that way, and that's okay. And it's something that is worth communicating and talking about.

And then I'll wrap this up by saying it's. We're not saying also that you never can give to a man or you can never help him or support him if he needs help and he's struggling with something, you know, illness or health things. Now, the key is let him lead you into those things so you can still give him masculine leadership in those moments by letting him lead you, by letting him ask for what he wants help with. So rather than just anticipating his needs and. Here, babe, I made you something. I made you dinner, or I picked this up for you, or I bought you this, or I'm going to give you a massage right now. Rather than anticipating his needs and doing those things. Wait for him to ask you. Wait for him to say, hey, babe, could you could you make dinner tonight or could you make XYZ tonight? Or could you grab that for me? Or can you pick this up that way? He's still in the leadership. He's leading you to give to him. He's still taking the masculine. Or if you really want to give to him, at least ask him before you give it to him or do something for him. So say, babe, would you like me to make us something for dinner tonight or would you like me to give you a massage? You look pretty tired. Do you want me to give you like a massage or you want something? And he'll say, sure, that'd be great. So that way you're at least giving him some space to have that kind of leadership in the relationship rather than just giving, giving, giving and anticipating his needs for things that he maybe doesn't even want. You're giving him gifts that he doesn't even want. You're giving him things that he didn't even ask for. You want to avoid getting into that because that's highly going to make him again feel just like you feel when a man's telling you to put on his armor. He's going to feel like he's being treated like a little boy. He's being coddled and he's going to lose polarity. It's not going to feel good on his masculine and his masculine core and his instinct. And so you want to avoid that, but you can still do things for him. You just want to allow him to lead you into those things. So he's still taking the leadership in the relationship, just like in that beautiful dance. So awesome. We covered a lot today, Matt. There was laughs, there was tears, there was adventures to be had and massive breakthroughs and insights for the women. So if they want to take the next step and learn how to learn more from the CEO of Everything awesome, how would they, how would they do that?

Just go to matthewkost.com, check my stuff out. I've got a webinar that you can go to. It's a free, free webinar. You can learn more about my method. You can learn about how I can help you in your situation. Just go to matthewcoast.com and sign up for my next on free online webinar.

Awesome. Beautiful. And we'll go ahead and put the links below this video, wherever you're watching it, after this live stream is done. I'll put that up right away. And of course, if you want to go deeper with us as well, you can go to our website, magnetizeyourman.com for a free quiz. We have our Magnetizerman quiz to learn more of the principles of Magnetic Feminine Polarity Magnetic Feminine Communication. We go much deeper into that in our free quiz. I'll also have the link for that below or magnetizeyourman.com for our website. Much Love. Hope this was helpful to everyone. We love doing this. We enjoyed it and continue to stay engaged. Keep asking your questions. We'll do likely a future live stream like this in the future and help you get the relationship of your dreams and have your feminine radiance shining forth into the world to attract the most healthy, amazing, masculine, feminine, polarized relationship you can possibly imagine. So take care, Much love and we'll talk to you later.