One Thing Men Find BEAUTIFUL In A Woman

One thing men find beautiful in a woman. Hey, I'm Auntie Boyd with Magnetize youe Men. And together for my husband Brody Boyd, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get the connected, committed and long term relationship that they desire for us. Let's go ahead and dive right in. The one thing, the very unexpected thing that men find beautiful in a woman is self absorption. Ah, I already see your hair's raised and you're saying to yourself, what the heck is this woman thinking? Has she never dated a narcissist? So I'm so excited to talk about this topic because hear me out. Today we're actually going to talk about what true self absorption looks like. And what does self absorption look like of a narcissist? Looks like this is going to really help you to break through any shame and any apologetic behavior because you decided you don't want to be like your ex boyfriend, your narcissistic ex husband, your narcissistic dad. Fill in the blank. And the formula that you have to make sure this never happens is that you are going to be never self absorbed. You see, let me just test it. And somebody tells you, you are so self absorbed, you're so full of yourself, you're so fill in the blank. You're so self focused, self, so self centered. What do you do? You become immediately defensive, you become immediately reactive, you immediately defend yourself. And why is that? Well, because you actually think that is an insult. But to me this is actually a compliment. And here is why. Let me actually tell you what true self absorption is. True self absorption, what does that actually truly mean? That means that all the parts inside of ourselves, so let's say the embarrassed part, the helpless part, the fearful part, the loving part, the arrogant part, the, you know, the harmonious part. Like all the parts, parts that you judge, parts that you don't judge, that you all accept and celebrate them inside of yourself. See, so that's actually true self confidence. And why is that? Well, because then you actually acknowledge that you have all these parts inside of yourself. So guess what? Nobody will ever be able to gaslight you. But if somebody says you are such a, you are so arrogant, you are such a victim, you are so manipulative, you are so fill in a blank. Maybe you can actually put in a comment section all the different traits that you don't want to be called by your friends or maybe by co workers or maybe your parents have used that against you. You know, it's not uncommon that if you have a Narcissistic parent or not diagnosed a parent with narcissistic tendencies that they will use the very thing that they have inside of themselves and projected onto you, right? So they will actually say you are so self absorbed. Well, because actually they're the ones who are so insecure inside of themselves and they need all the attention. And so. But they can of course not admit that. So then they have to make you wrong if you want the attention because, well, you have to put all the attention on them, right? You can't waste any of your resources to put them on yourself because then you may actually enroll even other people to put the attention on you too. And then the narcissist or the person, the parent was narcissistic traits would even lose more energy, more attention because. Because remember, the person with the narcissistic traits is naturally parasitic and you're the host. However, I myself of course grew up with a mom of narcissistic tendencies. And so she used of course all the gaslighting, the shame of attack, the shame should of denial and so on. Of course while I was growing up and also while I was, I was like really finding my own voice, stepping in my own confidence and not being, no longer being manipulated. Like she's setting boundaries. And of course she said, you are so heartless, you are so selfish and so on. So I actually learn to do the very work inside of myself to be like, yes, I actually am, if you call me taking time to myself and to set healthy boundaries so I can actually still balance all the different parts and all the different areas in my own life so I can actually can further my own personal development and my own healing journey. If you call that arrogant or self focus. Right. Then yes, actually. Thank you. Because what I really see is that the women who come to me, they have learned to be so other focus. They're actually, they're not self focused at all. They don't even know how to focus on themselves. When they get a compliment, they actually feel uncomfortable or maybe they leave their body or maybe they're deflected. Deflection meaning. Oh, I love your dress too. Oh, the blouse I'm wearing. It was on sale at Macy's or whatever the case may be. Oh, it's just, it was just a gift last year from. For Christmas or whatever the case may be. Right. So deflection is one of the ways that actually shows that you have a lack of capacity to receive. But then when you actually learn how to focus on yourself, guess what? You can actually receive more and men find that extremely beautiful. Why? Well, then actually the polarity grows between a masculine and a feminine. Remember, the masculine wants to give, the feminine receives. The masculine rejoices in a woman in the feminine receiving from him, right? It's like, you know, if he goes, hunts a deer and he brings it to you and you're like, oh, my gosh, it's the most beautiful deer. I can't wait for dinner. I can't wait to make it with potatoes or whatever the case may be. You're so excited. You feel so cherished, so treasured, so seen, so protected, so valued, so supported. Well, then he's like, I did that. I did that, right? And so then that, of course, makes him feel respected. But that's what I really challenge you with is actually being like when somebody says, oh, you're so self. Thank you so much for the compliment. Because men actually love when you can focus on yourself, right? Men actually love when I give you compliment and you can actually receive it because one man said, successful man, by the way. Handsome man, by the way. And he said, you know what? I will treat you like a queen, but you have to know that you are one. So you see, if. If the man has to actually tell you, no, you are beautiful. No, put that crown. Straighten that crown on top of you. No, you don't look fat in this dress, right? No, you don't. You know, and again, men can never win with that conversation, right? Then he's like, this is like really exhausting, right? Because, you know, I. I see that she's a queen, but she doesn't believe in herself. And I'm spending every day trying to convince her. But that. That doesn't make him feel good, you know? And I mean, probably also not your friends, right? You. You probably also have friends or maybe friends are friends of you where constantly to say, no, you're gorgeous. No, I love your hair. No, I love the jewelry that you picked, right? You constantly does validation. And guess what? When you are actually self absorbed. Truly self absorbed. Authentically self absorbed. Because I'm talking about really quick how the narcissistic. Narcissistic tendency person does that, right? So when you're authentically self absorbed, then you can actually validate yourself. You actually can validate yourself right? Now let me contrast that with the narcissist. The narcissist doesn't have an authentic self. He. He or she has a portrait self or you could say a projected self. Yes, you want to write that down? Okay, so they actually want to manipulate your Perception of them. You know what I want to compare a narcissistic person to is a spider who's like trying to. When you get closer to a spider and a spider's on a web, the spider swings the web, right? Why is that? Well, because the spider wants to look really big and really impressive and wants to scare you and threaten you and show you that the spider has authority and can destroy you and all the things, right? And so the same is true for a narcissist. A narcissist actually has a very high level of insecurity inside of their nervous system. They're also extremely hyper regulated, right? Hyper upregulated. And you know why you know that is because they are in fight of fight most of the time. You know what I mean? How do you know that? Well, because they gaslight you, they come out, you know what I mean? Everything is like really like fighting, getting ready for a fight, you know, getting ready for attack or ready for denial, right? I didn't say that. You know, like how women say to me when they come to me, I feel like I need to record my conversations when I talk to this guy because he says afterwards. I, I never said that. I never said that. Right. And then when you actually prove it. So let's say you recorded it or let's see you find actually the screenshot. And I help sometimes women also go for the course. So there's like wars going on and all of that, right. Although I have a very dear friend who is extremely well adversed with that, helping women in court. But is then they say, then they try to gaslight you in another way, right? And that is of course, that is sort of like the. Also the distraction and the denial, right? It's like, no, I'm going to shine a flashlight on something else that you did like three years ago when you didn't pay something off or when you picked up your child late or whatever the case may be, right. And now you may find yourself nodding your head, you know. But the biggest thing is is that the narcissist again is like in fight or flight, always an attack upregulated, right? Which means like it's hyper aroused sympathetic nervous system response as opposed to the sympathetic parasympathetic nervous system response, which is the truly authentically secure person, right? They're actually resting in a parasympathetic nervous system response. Why is that? While they actually have intrinsic confidence. Well, how do you build that? Which by the way, women, men find that very beautiful. But if there's Trends. Intrinsic self confidence. It's exactly that. You actually break through your fear to be called self absorbed. You actually break through your fear to be called self focused, self centered. Right. Sometimes I also call it, you're orbiting around yourself. Right. Self orbiting. Okay. And why is that important is because you actually have to learn the skill to pull the energy back from the other person. Right? So for example, in limerence, which I have some videos on that here on the channel as well, love addiction, you're actually like constantly in the other person's world. You create this virtual reality. You're, you create this fantasy, you create attachment, this obsession. And what you can do is come back to yourself and feel that same richness and that same potency, that same aliveness in that same. What's the other word that I'm looking for? Like fulfillment. Right? That same satisfaction. Fulfillment. Because if you did like, you would never fall into limerence because you wouldn't give your power away. You would communicate your emotions authentically. Right. All right. But that's for the other video that I, of course you have here on the channel as well. So let me know in the comment section what you want to do around this conversation and what that has helped you accomplish. Now if you want to learn more on how to break through that and you need actual, actual support with that, then take my free magnetize your man quiz at magnetizeyourman. Com. I'll be also linking this here below the video as well. And I'm ready. Looking forward to reading all your comments and to hearing your feedback. Take care. Much love.