The #1 Reason 99% of Women Stay Single

This keeps 99% of women single. So if you'd like to discover why a relationship isn't working out, why a man may be pulling away, how to actually draw him closer to you and have a deeply committed, fulfilling relationship with him, then this is going to help you so much. I'm Brody Boyden. Together with my wife Antia, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get a loving, long term and committed relationship with a man they desire. Fast forward for over 20 years combined. So I'm really excited to dive into you today, with you today and help this situation you may have with a man help you to get it to where you want it to be quickly. So the main principle we are going to be talking about today is being too other focused. That is the problem. And I brought my lovely wife on here to start to explain more. We're going to both teach you here why this is such an issue and how to overcome it so you can draw him close. Yes.

And this topic is so dear and near and dear to my heart because as Christians we're being taught, you know, you treat your neighbor with love and care and put them your neighbor first. And so we kind of developed a story that we are actually getting treated the way we treat other people. However, what I have found over the last 12 years of like alone doing this work is that the amount of quality men that you attract into your life is directly proportional to the relationship you have to yourself. So what I've actually seen is that when you are too other focus when you're anticipating the other person's reality and what their life is like and when they got to divorce and when their kids get out of the house and when they're, you know, then it actually leads to self abandonment. And you see what you focus on expands. So that means if you focus on the other person while the other person expands, right. The attention to the other person expands. The other person wants more attention from you and the other person is going to ask you less questions. However, if you focus on yourself. Okay, I don't know if you can hear me.

On yourself video for a second. Yeah, why don't you get that fixed and I'll, I'll continue. So when you focus on yourself, what happens is you are becoming magnetizing. So just like the flower is not chasing after the honeybees, the honeybees are chasing after the flower. Why? Because the flower has roots. The flower is focused on growing. Focus on itself. Focus on being the most beautiful, amazing flower that it can Be. And meanwhile, the honeybees, they are coming to the flower because of that. Similar also to the flame and the moths. Why is the moth attracted to the flame? Because it is giving off light. It is attracting the bugs around it because it is the source. It is. It is burning. It is passion. It is this, this magnetic, feminine energy that draws others in. So let me see. I'm just going to see if I can help Auntie here. So that is the big piece of it. Yeah, the big piece of attracting a man and why so many women struggle with attracting quality men. Because they're not being the flower, they're not being the flame, they're not being the sun to the planets. Instead, they're being the bug, they are being the honeybee, and they are looking for a man. They're focusing all their energy on him, on how they can meet his needs, how can they make him happy, how can they cater to him and provide for him, which is all masculine energy. And then the man, what does he do? He starts to relax into his feminine. He starts to receive from you. It is backwards. The masculine gives, the feminine receives. So if you're giving, giving, giving, if you're focusing all your attention on him, if you're thinking about him all the time, just realize you are in masculine energy. It's the reverse. You have to fix that because it's never going to attract the quality man that you desire. It's only going to attract men being in their feminine, pulling away from you, not investing in the relationship, not taking care of you. Because also, at a subtle level, it feels disrespecting to them. It feels like you are treating them like a child. You are putting him on the pedestal and treating him like this precious little baby. Just like what a mother will do with her child, this precious little baby that she has to protect and she has to nurture. And then a man doesn't want to feel that way. A man doesn't want to feel like he is the child. He wants to be able to actually take care of you. He wants to feel empowered in himself to be a hero, to be a king, to actually be able to take care of someone else, to have meaning and purpose in his life. And that's why men will go on the battlefield and they will die for a purpose. And you can be that purpose for him. You can provide a sense of meaning by allowing him to give to you. So that's one very important aspect of it. Auntie is back here, so I want to see what else she wants to add to that.

It'S magic.

So.

So yeah, so what I was talking about was what you focus on expands. So meaning if you focus on yourself, but if you step out of codependency and other focusedness, meaning you're actually almost like getting approval. Like we even had like a quote from the Bible from Galatians about that, which is really going to be helpful for you because you approve, you seek an approval from a man. That's why you other focused, right? You're actually saying, well, you know, if I'm other focused, if I'm focusing on him, if I'm asking him questions, if I'm anticipating his future, then he's going to prove up me. And of course, the reason why you do that is because that's what you learned in childhood. You know, you most likely had a parent who was emotionally unavailable or maybe even abusive, or maybe was an alcoholic or a workaholic or fill in a blank, gamble addict, whatever. I have heard it all. And then you said, you know what? Like, let me focus on, Let me solve the problem, right? Let me save the day. Let me help so that I can feel that peace again in the household. Because right now I don't feel that I don't feel the stability. So if I'm just like the one who's like saying, oh, it's okay, I'll help you to get another drink, or oh, it's okay, you know, I help you to find an excuse for this or life for you or whatever the case may be, right? You're actually overriding your own truth and you're actually making the happiness of the other person more important. And so what happens at the nervous system level is that part of you, right, that's actually focused self to other, becomes so strong that the, the part inside of you, that self to self regulation, that's like nervous system regulation. Self to self or other to self, meaning you're actually receiving attention, goes almost like dormant or freezes because you're not using it. And why you're not using it is because it's not safe because your coping mechanism is to focus on the other person to make the other person a priority that put the other person on the pedestal, right? To put the other person's needs ahead of yours. However, what we've now seen, I've been married for 12 years now. I've been doing this work together for almost 13 years, right? Is that when the woman actually learns to focus on her own needs and to set her own boundaries and step into her own queen and really Embrace and celebrate her own self rotation. And I'm gonna call it self absorption, meaning like she's able to absorb all of herself, all the parts inside of herself, not just like the good parts that she wants to see, but also the parts that she maybe judges inside of herself. Then guess what? She becomes so magnetic. And men are coming out of the woodworks. And this is literally quotes from women who have gone for our program is because the men are not actually really seeing the full woman. They're really actually building the trust. They're actually seeing the emotional range that the woman brings to the table. Because when. And Brody's gonna attest to that, I'm sure. Right. A man oftentimes knows, and we hear this from all women too, when they quote, unquote, messed up, or when they're overstepped boundaries, or when they didn't treat you with care, or when they neglected you. Because oftentimes the story goes when a woman steps into her power and acknowledges her needs, that oftentimes the man says, you know what? You were right. I was a jerk. You're absolutely right. You know, I should apologize because I did overstep the boundaries here. I should have like, ask you to. It's not just all on you. So why is that? Well, because I think actually a man knows when he steals a cookie from the cookie jar and he knows when he's not supposed to do that and he's actually happy secretly. I'm already maybe attest to that or not that he is being held accountable, that he doesn't get away with it, what the little boy with the inner child wants to do, but he's actually being, you know, like being held accountable to. Like, what about your king? You know, what about the warrior, right? Like, what about the wild man? Where those parts that can parent that part that wants to get away with stealing the cookie from the cookie jar.

Well, it depends also on what kind of man you're dealing with and how connected he is to his masculine core. Because like, like I said before, if a man is connected to his masculine core, he's. And he has any level of care for you, he's going to get his sense of value and purpose by knowing he's making you happy, that he's doing a good job, that he is a valuable man. And so that's where this inner sense of direction and integrity comes from. To know if he's doing a good job or not, that if he's doing something bad that he knows he may be doing, but because you're not saying anything or because he may be being put into his feminine energy because of you or disconnecting from his masculine potentially because of both of your dynamics, then he may not care, he may not be acknowledging that. But then once you are connected to your feminine, he starts to recognize that mistake inside of him, that he is not being a king, he is not really leading from his healthy masculine with you in the dance of your relationship and that he needs to fix that. Now the caveat with that as well is that if a man is deeply broken or if he's a highly broken man, then he's still not going to acknowledge that he's still not going to step into his healthy masculine. And that's why we have our magnetic feminine 90 day challenge. And if that comes to play with him, that comes to be revealed, then you're going to have to step away or be willing to step away from a relationship like that with a broken man because essentially you're never going to be able to get your needs met. Now. Now it is very rare, pretty rare that a man is deeply broken in that sense. And that's why The Magnetic Feminine 98 challenge will reveal that to you and get him devoting to you. And if not, then it's very clear, okay, this is time to leave. So yeah, so that's a very important aspect of, of knowing what kind of guy you're with and how to be in a relationship, how to attract a man that actually treats you well. So there any other big points you want to bring up with that Ana about being self focused versus other focused for today.

I love when you call me ano.

Which is, which is pretty rare.

Usually it's always feels like that's am I in trouble? Like it feels so weird.

Yeah. Yeah.

Is just this aspect of what we talked about before which is that healthy interdependence so why should you focus on yourself? Is because in a healthy marriage and a healthy, deep connected long term relationship, you have a couple identity and then you also have an individual identity. So if you just have the couple identity then either you're going to depolarize over time. So it's like if you to put two magnets in a drawer and you wait a couple of days or maybe a week, something like that. Actually those magnets will never, they will not be magnetized to each other anymore. Because I depolarized. Right. And the other aspect is you could be hitting a plateau. You know, that's when couples start to fall out of love with each other and just like, you know, stay in day out, everything becomes really mechanic. Everything kind of loses like the juice, right. And the joy for life. And what happens is when you step into the individual identity is then you recharge, you bring like some freshness, some newness. Because sometimes, for example, when you're in your individual identity, that's oftentimes your alone time with God as an example. Right. And where you actually pray, where you have your own relationship with God, when you read the Bible, when you get your own unique, you know, messages highlighted by God for you. Right. And yeah, sometimes also something for your husband or your partner. But it's like, well, you have that relationship. So I think this is a good first step. Another one is maybe social circles where you have your own unique social. So maybe you have your own work. Most of the people have like their own career, right? And so that's really important because you bring sort of like this novelty, you bring variety, you bring a range back into the relationship so the relationship can grow. Right? Because we like, we kind of bounce off each other. Oh, I learned this, I learned that. Oh, isn't that so interesting? And you can kind of alchemize something yummy together. But of course, you also don't want to go too far the opposite direction because if you're just two individuals, then you're just basically roommates and you're just kind of living. You're just kind of passing by the ships at night. And so of course you don't want to do that either. So the trick is to find that right balance, transitioning from the individual identity to the couple identity and vice versa. Right? So that's that healthy interdependence. That's what we are reaching for.

Yeah, and it's really important. Scripture backs us up as well. Galatians 1:10 says, for am I seeking the approval of man or of God? And this is a powerful way to think about this and to feel about this is to recognize where you are trying to seek approval from the world, from your man, from him, or of God, of something bigger than yourself, of something more important, that is your self approval. Do you approve of yourself and what you're doing in this relationship? Or are you stretching yourself into a pretzel to try to please a man, Maybe even breaking your, your own values, your own beliefs, your own rules, you might say, for how you want to operate in a relationship and with your relationship with God in your faith. And so that can bring you back home to recognize that what is the possibility of where you're focusing your energy and where you're focusing your intention, is it on yourself? Is it with God or is it specifically just on this man and making him happy and sacrificing your own self in order to do that because you're so afraid of losing that approval because of past wounds because of past trauma versus getting that approval with yourself. So it's a very important concept, very key and critical to attracting that healthy loving long term relationship with a man. And if this is new to you and if this is something you really want to master and go deeper with, I would highly recommend also taking our free quiz to get a loving long term committed relationship with the man you want fast by clicking the link in the description or comments below where this all starts. Or you can also go to our website magnetizeyourman.com to get that now would highly recommend get the customized personalized support you need in your top recommendation. Much love. Hope this was helpful and we look forward to talk to you again very soon. Bye bye.