THIS Is What He's Thinking When He IGNORES You

When a man ignores you, here is what he's thinking. So often you find yourself thinking, what is he thinking? While you're wondering, second guessing, doubting and questioning yourself. So here are five things a man is thinking when he ignores you. Hey, I'm Ange Boyd with Magnetize youe Man. And together with my husband Brody, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get a committed, connected and long term relationship they desire fast. So let's go ahead and dive right in. The first thing that he's thinking when he ignores you is that he doesn't know. And so what does that mean? He has a past conflict inside of himself. Now this could be because you sent mixed messages in the first dates. Now how that could show up, for example, could be that, that you maybe you may have felt sad, or you may have shared a story that was sad, or you may share a story that made you potentially frustrated or angry, but then you found yourself laughing, chuckling, because you know, you didn't want to impose too much, or you didn't want to make it too emotional, or you didn't want to come off as too much. However, what happens in that moment is that he can feel he's connected to himself as well. So he can feel like, okay, hold on one second, like she just shared something sad. And I think I feel sadness too. But no, oh no, now she's laughing. So maybe I'm just making this up. Maybe I'm not as connected or can I trust her? So he's asking himself questions and then he starts to ignore you because he doesn't know what to do. So it's not like that he plans on ignoring you. It's more that he is waiting until he has clarity inside of himself. Now, of course, what you want to do at all cost is avoid sending mixed messages. And how you do that, of course is showing up from the get go who you are. Like exactly what that is. If you have like the loudest laugh. I mean, there's this funny story of one of the seminar leaders that I had when I was going for personal development training. And she laughed like when, when. As if she was like snoring like a, like a pig. And she became so famous because of her laughter, because it was her, she was in her essence, she wasn't afraid to be seen. And so because of that she was sending congruent signals and she became a magnet. So this is going to work so much better than hiding when you feel like something is uncomfortable or something he may be Criticizing you because you may have had a narcissistic ex or a narcissistic parent. Now the next thing he may be thinking when he ignores you is, I want to avoid confrontation. I don't like confrontation. And that could of course come from him growing up in a household where there was like confrontation avoided. Maybe there were things swept under the rug, not really talked about. And because of that he learned, okay, you know what? It's not safe to actually have a real heart to heart conversation because you don't make the other person feel uncomfortable. Maybe he also doesn't have any capacity to feel uncomfortable himself and at the end of the day he doesn't want to be the bad guy. Now of course, you may find yourself laughing right now and saying, are you kidding me? Like, him ignoring me maybe makes him a way worse guy. And you're absolutely right. But that's not how he thinks. He actually thinks he's less of a bad guy when he ignores you than if he were to tell you, look, I'm not interested in you, or look, I didn't like what you said last time about whatever, something I care about, maybe my work, maybe my family, maybe a friend of mine. It could be so many different reasons. And so when a man is sort of conflict avoidant, right? Like they just don't know what to do. It's like again, they don't plan on ignoring you or they just kind of, sort of go within and try to kind of work it out. And of course they're never going to work it out because the brain deletes, distorts and generalizes reality. And so he's never going to work it out. And then because of that you're going to end up being frustrated because he ignores you, because he can't get over himself and stay sort of what I call the fire. Now all you can do here is like from the get go, make confrontation comfortable. Right? Like, and what that means is like learning to speak up from the get go. And you know when something doesn't work for you and then invite him to say if something doesn't work for him. So you're actually modeling you giving him permission to also say when something doesn't work for him. Now I know you may be scared of that because maybe you got rejected, maybe you got manipulated, maybe you got criticized either by your mom, by your dad growing up and so on. However, like if you would know, look, he's going to disappear anyways. So you may as well actually give it a chance for him to express Himself and for you guys to actually work out. Now, the next thing that he may be thinking when he is ignoring you is he's not really thinking. He just has like different communication rhythms. You see, you may be used to getting a good night, text messages, a good morning call, you know, talking every day, a meeting every other day, whatever the case may be. So that may be your communication with them. And this may be based on many different aspects. For instance, it could be because you have a high level of anxiety inside of yourself and, and you were abandoned as a child, either emotionally or physically. And because of that, you need more reassurance. Look, there is nothing wrong with that. I'm just telling you to understand that there's other rhythms out there as well. And so in this particular case, this man may actually have had, let's say a mom who was completely over smothering. Okay, Just as an example. So his communication rhythm was, will be like much more spacious, he'll want much more space. He doesn't need more reassurance. He gets so much reassurance that he got overwhelmed with it. And because of that, he will always tend to want to cool down. Now you want to heat up, warm up, right? Increasing the frequency of conversation while he want to decrease it in order to be able to breathe, in order to feel, feel himself. So this doesn't mean that he's not interested in you. It simply means that he has a different communication rhythm. Now of course, it's going to be up to you what you're going to do with that, right? If it takes too much effort and work for you to be patient all the time and to be forgiving all the time and to be the one who's waiting on him, then this may simply not be a match for you. However, if you're like, oh, all what it is is like a different communication rhythm, sure, I can adapt to that as long as I know that he's actually interested in me and invested into me. Now another thing worth exploring is like, what are your love languages within those five love languages, right? And so then if he has a different communication rhythm, you could for example, like talk about, well, how does he show love? So you know how he shows love, so you know that he loves you. And ideally he gets to know your love language, so then he gets to actually show up in your love language. And then even though you may not have as much conversation or communication or contact, you still feel reassured. Now of course, that only works if you've done work on yourself and move more towards the Middle. Now, for me personally, this would have probably not worked so well because like I said, I had high levels of emotional and physical abandonment in my childhood and was definitely working more on warming up, heating up relationships as opposed to cooling them down. However, you may not be in that situation and you may have more room, more space. I can just tell you what I've seen with talking to thousands of women all over the world that have come to me that they were not able to do that. So it's up to you. You have to kind of see what you can work out for yourself and where you're willing to compromise and where it's really important for you to get your needs met. Now, another thing a man is thinking, when he ignores you, he may simply be insecure, right? So he's like, I don't trust myself, I don't know what to do. And so when he is insecure inside of himself, he will want to actually take less action because when he's insecure inside of himself, his story will go like, I could take the wrong action and lose her. And he doesn't want to do that. And so because of that, he takes less action. Now, of course, that doesn't solve any problems and it gets you just more and more frustrated. I'm just saying that that could be the case. Now, again, what can you do here to avoid that? A man is like feeling insecure and potentially ends up in a pattern where he avoids communication because he doesn't want to come off as needy, or he doesn't want to come off as aggressive, or he doesn't want to come off as fill in the blank, right? And of course, you have those stories too. Now, again, how you can counter that? Well, again, it's all about creating the safe and trusting and authentic atmosphere. Now, how do you do that? Now, from the get go, when you start communicating with him, when you start talking to him, you actually communicate something that you feel potentially insecure about. And you learn how to be secure in your insecurities. You show this man, like, wow, you don't feel safe about this, you don't feel safe, secure about us, but yet here you are sharing that with me, right? And then you can say yes, because you know, this is the kind of relationship that I'm looking for, right? That I'm looking to create, you know, and as always, if you have something to share with me, he's much more likely to open up to you because he feels safe, because you're no longer guarding and protecting yourself. Here I give an example so years ago, I was in the seminar and I was called out, and, you know, I was actually working on, of course, creating a trusting and authentic relationship with men, because that was the one thing that I was really, really struggling with. So the leader of that particular seminar took a table, and she put a table right in front of her and walked up to a man and then said, hey, I'm ant here. Would you like a relationship with me? And of course, what she wanted to get at was the fact that I had so much baggage and I wanted to protect myself, that I didn't even open myself up to the men. However, I expected the man to open up to me. Now, of course, that didn't work, because if you don't open up, then they don't open up, because if you don't trust, they don't trust. And they don't know why they don't trust. But they're like, okay, something about this I should not trust. And so, of course, what I had to learn to do is take that table meaning, like, the ways how I protect myself and how I guard myself, put that to the side and actually share from my heart how I feel and what my needs are and then hopefully get that reciprocated. Now, this, of course, only works when you have a man that was interested in you. So you have to be willing to put yourself out there. However, you. You massively decrease the risk that a man stops communicating with you due to insecurities or due to even childhood patterns that he has just because he feels so safe with you. And the next thing a man thinks when he's ignoring you is, I will break her. And this sounds so cruel. It sounds so vicious. And this is coming more from a sociopathic, narcissistic psychology, right? And this is, of course, like, really saying, okay, I see this right now with a friend of a friend right now, where he ignores her. He broke up with her, and he does that to, of course, break her so he can get her to where he wants her to be. He wants to take all of her power away. He knows that she's more anxious, that she's more needy, so he ignores her. And he knows that she's going to eat more and more out of his hand, that she will put up more and more with his abuse. And you may feel triggered by hearing this right now because this may remind you of your last narcissistic relationship. Now, I'm not saying that this is the case with this man. I'm just saying it could be the case, right Of Course you want to pay attention if there's other red flags that you have observed or even pink flags or, or even orange flags where you're like, you know what, I'm not so sure about this. He was a little condescending here. I feel a little bit manipulated. I don't feel like I completely trust. There's a lot of lack of clarity here. So a lot of pieces are sort of coming together. He's talking a lot about himself, he makes it about himself. He was love bombing me. So there's a lot of pieces that go with that. But unfortunately that is really the truth. Those narcissists, they may think, okay, you know what? I'm going to ignore her. Going to turn her around, right? I'm going to turn her around from being this confident, self assured beautiful woman and it's like completely insecure doormat who I can just use and abuse to my pleasure, right? So that he can get all the energy from you. Of course. How the heck do you avoid that? Well, for one, learn how to become a narcissist repellent. Make it about yourself. Be also willing and able to talk about yourself. Set boundaries very early on and watch him respecting your boundaries. If he doesn't respect your boundaries, even if it's in a playful way, this is already at least a pink flag that I would pay absolute attention to because then in addition to that he also ignores you then because he wants to punish you. You really see sort of like, wow, this is a really manipulative pattern. And this is then time to get out. Now, as you've seen in this video today, I haven't used the obvious reasons that so many think why a man ignores you, that he may be interested in other woman and so on and so on. Of course you can watch us in other videos, right? But we went much, much deeper into the psychology of a man so that you can actually do something about it from the get go and be empowered. Because my goal for you is that you actually feel confident about yourself, that you feel safe and secure, that you can have this trusting and authentic relationship that you desire. And by the way, fast, right? Without wasting any more time, without attracting emotionally unavailable men and also with. Without second guessing and questioning yourself all the time. Next, if you haven't yet, take my free love quiz and virtual coaching session by simply hopping over to getlovequiz.com to get the connected and long term relationship that you desire fast, without frustration, loneliness and attracting any more emotionally unavailable men by simply clicking the link below in the description and here below this video as well. All right, ladies, this is it for today. Much love, and I will talk to you in the next video. Bye bye.