THIS Is Why A Man Pulls Away & How To Keep Him Coming Back For More

This is why a man pulls away and how to keep him coming back for more. In this video, you will discover the five red flags. What not to do, what gets a man running, and of course, how you can turn that ship around so that he can cherish and pursue you and desire you the way you deserve. Hey, I'm Antje Boyd with Magnetize youe man. And and together with my husband Brody, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get a committed, connected and long term relationship that they desire fast. So let's go ahead and dive right in. Number five, don't emasculate your men. Now, in a recent episode and season of Love Is Blind, we see one character named Chelsea emasculate her partner or partner to be Jimmy. Now, don't worry if you never watched Love is Blind, the story is that he asked her to maintain, like, some information that he had privately shared with her, like to herself and not share it on camera. However, when the argument got heated, she actually accepted, exposed him and she embarrassed him in front of the entire nation. Now, this was one of the main reasons why Jimmy ends up, yes, breaking up with Chelsea. And the reason why is, is because when you emasculate a man, there is almost no coming back because you cause such a deep level of shame and disrespect in a man that he would have to disrespect himself in order to stay. Now, if it's a low quality man, he may do that. However, last time I checked, women that come to me want to attract a high quality man into their life. And those high quality men, they do respect themselves. Now what you can do to have them come back for more is to share in private with what you think about what he said to you and you can share how you feel about the impact that it may have had on you that he, in this particular situation, stayed out a little longer to spend some time with his friends because Chelsea didn't want to spend any time going out because she is so anxious and so needy and so like, you know, almost like possessive to the point that she really sort of limits Jimmy's freedom to an unreasonable extent. And so of course it comes to that argument. So if that's the case, if you were Chelsea, you could just say how it makes you feel without attacking your man. Number four is don't reframe in a way that hurts the other person. Now, don't get me wrong, I love reframing things, especially when it comes to, you know, if something has like an incredibly painful impact on you. And you want to say, you know, instead of saying, life is a complete struggle, complete disaster, hey, life may present some hurdles, some obstacles for you to overcome. Right? So, of course, reframing can be a wonderful tool. However, in an argument where you truly, truly hurt repetitively the person, and then to call it like Chelsea did in Love Is Blind to Jimmy. A hiccup. A hiccup. I can barely even say it because obviously it's like 75 things that she did, and she attacked him, and I got into an argument, as a matter of fact, every time we. When the camera would turn onto that couple. Because for those of you who don't know, Love Is Blind is usually about four or five couples that are potentially getting married after they have not seen each other and then get engaged after when they see each other for the first time. Okay? So what ends up happening is like, you can't say, you know, like, you emasculated your man, you're completely yelled at him, you attacked him, and then you just call this, like, a little hiccup, you know, just like a slap in the face to the other person. Right. Whether it's a man or a woman. Right. But we're just talking about how to attract the right man for you into your life. And what you want to do instead is actually be curious about what happened for that person and hear that person out. Because another thing that Chelsea does is she constantly interrupts another very disrespectful and emasculating thing you can do now because she's, like, sort of minimizing how he's feeling. He doesn't feel hurt. And so he starts to distance himself, which is. Makes perfect sense because he really feels like, wow, this is becoming extremely. Yes. Toxic. So in order for it to not be toxic, like, be open, be an inquiry, and also be willing to be wrong. Look, the biggest breakthrough I had on my journey to attract my incredible husband of now 10 years into my life is I was willing to be wrong. Now, the third way why a man pulls away is if you project responsibility on him. Now, there's one thing to be said to hold him accountable when accountability is due. It's another one when you actually, you messed up. You were completely disrespectful. You. You were yelling at him or you were lying to him or whatever the case may be, because Chelsea did all of these things. And to then say in every argument, well, we both. We both make mistake. It's both our fault. Right? It's like, no, Again, this feels like a slap in the face. It's like she's not taking responsibility. She's basically saying, hey, we both would do. We're both. You know, we're both doing things right. Which, for the most part, I'm actually amazed how long Jimmy stayed. Like, there's other men who would have left. The first time when she emasculated him and had a huge blowout fight where he ends up calling her clingy, but he ends up calling her clingy because she has so many demands and she's so controlling and she's so possessive that he feels cornered. And yes, what happens is when one person feels cornered, they will say something that is maybe not the nicest thing to do, but that was the one thing where he maybe felt like he can say something, how he really feels. Because the whole time he was so understanding and he was listening to her, and he allowed her to attack him. And because he's a man of quality. Okay, did he make mistakes? Of course he did. Right. But for the most part, he was really understanding and willing to listen. And then for Chelsea to say, well, it's both our fault. And every single time, in every single argument, he. Even though she was the one who caused the argument and she was the one who. You just kept going and going. That's the other piece, too. Right. She just would not stop. Because of that, he distanced himself. Understandably. So this is a little tough, because what I'm asking you to do in order for a man to come back is to own. Own your actions, own your responsibility, and don't project it onto the other person and apologize and tell them what your plan is, that this is not going to happen again. And, of course, show changed behavior, because words is one thing, actions are completely other thing. So in this particular example of Chelsea saying, what's your fault? It could have been just like, you know what, Jimmy? It's tough for me to admit. It's hard for me to admit. It's difficult. But, yes, I made a mistake, and yes, there's a way I should have not. You know what I mean, not responded this way. This was disrespectful towards you. And then zip the lip and don't say, and you, too, or don't go into justification. Just own it. Because then, you know what's gonna happen is naturally the man is going to say, you know what? I may have also not shown up in the best way possible. You know, I do apologize. I'm so sorry as well. You know, I didn't want to call you clingy or whatever the case may be, right? Like, he will be like, okay, now actually feel seen. And now I can actually respond with the same kind of respect and authenticity back to the woman as well. And that causes such a beautiful bond and trust in the relationship. Now, the second reasons why men pull away is because you use a shame shield. Now, with Jimmy and Chelsea, we see that a lot. Now, Chelsea's favorite shame shield is attack, right? So as soon as she feels embarrassed, as soon as she doesn't feel good enough, when Jimmy points out something how she showed up and how that was maybe not the nicest thing to do. And specifically she was saying that, you know, she was calling another couple the best couple or the top couple, and again, another masculine thing to do. Because in that moment, she just really sort of pretended, you know, like she didn't really give any credit to all the effort that Jimmy had put into this. Right? So this is also sort of passive aggressive as well. However, when he ends up confronting, fronting her about it and said, you know, this was like, why did you say that? That made me feel like you don't have any faith. And into our relationship, you know, and into our, like, why would you ever say something like that? You know, that probably means, like, you know, our relationship is doomed. You know, she immediately goes into attack and into justification and that he sent things to and things like that. So don't shame Stuart again. Instead you want to actually realize, oh, there's shame. What does shame actually mean? It's a sense of inadequacy. It's a sense of sort of discomfort. It's definitely. It can be deep rooted insecurity. And the best thing is to simply sit with it and be brief, actually, because when we stop breathing, then we go into fight or flight, and then we're more likely to go into reactive patterns. But if you're like, wow, let me, let me sit with that. Let me digest that for a moment. Like, you see how that feels like, very different than going right out dramming at Jimmy at like, you know, like, what he did wrong and all the things, and going into justification mode, that pushes a man even further away. Because why did he bring this up? Because he wants to create connection. Because he wants to expresses emotions authentically in hopes that he creates a deeper bond and authenticity and transparency in his relationship and a sense of intimacy. But the opposite was reached in this particular case. Now, the number one thing that makes a man pull away is if you question his love, okay? And you know, we see this with Chelsea and we see this with Jimmy, because Chelsea is like telling Jimmy, and this is okay if you didn't watch the season, right? But essentially she's like saying, well, if you loved me, which indicates that he doesn't love her, right? Does that make sense? Like, if he. If she says, if you did love me, which clearly you don't right now, like, then you wouldn't go out to bars, you know what I mean? Or if you really loved me, you know, you wouldn't call me clingy, right? And that is emotional manipulation par excellence. Ladies, please don't do that. Because the man is starting to think, well, maybe, maybe I don't love her, right? I mean, she questions already that I love her, so why would I prove to her that I love her more? Like, if you think a man will prove to you more that he loves you, when you question his love, like, you are absolutely wrong. You know what I mean? Because he feels like disrespected. He's like, wait a minute, I showed up for you. I got you your favorite breakfast. I did this and that. You know, maybe find out your love language, whatever the case may be, and then you say, well, if you loved me. What? What are you talking about? You know what I mean? And you know, this is so interesting too, and this is why we so often talk about, don't use threats like that, right? When you're married, don't use the D word. You know, when you're in a relationship, don't use like, if you loved me, right? Because those are sorts of ultimate phrases that can be so damaging. You, you're just expressing something so universal. You're over generalizing, getting yourself in very dangerous territory because the man is saying, wait, what do you mean? You're over generalized? Like, you use all credibility and trust in his eyes. Because when we generalize the. That doesn't mean that it's actually true, right? When we delete, when we distort, it actually doesn't mean that that's true. That's actually just what shows up after all the lenses have been put on, right? And of course, we go into lesion, distortion and generalization when we don't feel safe. So how can you counter that is like actually seeing, how does my man love me? And how. How can I feel safe? So if you have natural insecurities, which I certainly had, okay? And several women have, that have gone through my process and program or watching this video. So your girlfriend, you're not alone, that's totally normal. Right. So if you have that like it's really a good idea to do some work to get to a place where you feel safe. If you feel safe, you don't go into attack. If you feel safe safe, you won't self sabotage because the reason why you self sabotage is actually because you don't feel safe with the love, with the man, with the care, with the investment, with the compliments, with the attention that he brings to you. Now what you've discovered by now that when you deal with men it's about respect, right? That will have and come back to you over and over again and will cherish you and adore you and devote to you. And it's also about validating like his reality as opposed to crushing it and denying it because that is simply emasculating. And again, it'll just push him further away. However, the beautiful thing is you can turn that ship around by actually doing the opposite of that. Hey, next, if you haven't yet, take my free love quiz and visual coaching session by simply going over to getlovequiz.com to get a connected, committed and long term relationship that you desire fast, without trust issues, loneliness and attracting any more emotionally unavailable men. And hello. Also the link is right here in the description and in the comment section as well. Lots of love. I'll talk to you next time. Bye bye.