THIS Makes Him See You As "The One"

Today you're going to get your top questions that you have about men answered from two love coaches. Giving you our wisdom in our experience with the things related to relationships, dating. Why men pulls away, what men actually want, what they're afraid of, what they desire. How you can have a relationship that you desire with a man you want and have him crave and even want to devote himself to you from life. So I'm Brody Boyd with Magnetize youe man. And for over 20 years, combined with my wife Antia, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get a loving long term relationship. And I'm joined today with Kevin.

No, actually I'm his wife Antia.

Did you see? I know I saw them. They might get a little confused about that.

Just kidding. I am Kevin Anthony and I am a certified sexologist. I'm an NLP practitioner and a sex, love and relationship coach. And for over 10 years I have been helping men, women and couples have the relationship of their dreams and the best sex of their lives.

So let's dive in with the first big question we have today, which is what are men looking for in a relationship?

What are men looking for in a relationship? This is a really great question because I think a lot of times women have a misunderstanding about what men are actually looking for. So there's an idea that, oh, they're just looking for looks, right? So all they want is, you know, a hot woman with perfect boobs and a great butt and whatever. And the reality is while those things might attract us in the beginning when we're looking for long term relationships, it's not actually what we're looking for. Now it's going to vary a little bit from person to person. So some people might be looking for, you know, a woman to have children with and some people may not be. But in general, what we're looking for is a woman who is in her feminine, who gives us the space to lead, who doesn't nag us, isn't nitpicking, isn't complaining all the time. The reality is, is that we like our relationships to be sort of calm, sort of stable, you know, so especially if we work outside the home as most people do, and we're dealing with the business world and it's dog eat dog, right? When we come home to our home and to our woman, it's our castle, it's our sanctuary. We want a place where we are loved and embraced and supported. Right? So we're looking for a relationship that provides that level of stuff for us. And I think a lot of times women have this misconception that what we want is, you know, some sort of, you know, supermodel necessarily or whore sex all the time. Yeah, yeah.

Cooking for us.

Now, granted, obviously, you know, we do, most of us anyway, if we have a healthy sex drive, most of us do want a woman who also has a healthy sex drive and wants to participate in that. You know, we might potentially want a woman who is an excellent cook. I mean, there are things like that that we might also want, but in general, like if we really just boil it down to the basics, we want a woman who loves us, who cares for us, who treats us as her king, who works with us together as a partner where we're both working towards the same goals. And, you know, there's. There's the. What we do want and then the what we don't want also, which is we just don't want to be in relationship with a woman who's doing the, the four Cs, the complaining, the competing. Right, the criticizing, all that stuff. There's one more I'm forgetting in this.

Moment, but yeah, there's a million condemning. Controlling.

Do we say controlling? That's, that's the other one on my four list.

Yeah.

So, yeah, that's, that's my opinion of what we're looking for.

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's so true. And one aspect of this, because the women listening, you might be thinking right now, well, you know, does that mean I just have to be quiet all the time and not speak up and be his, you know, give him this peace? Well, yes. A man wants your to be. He wants you to be his peace. He wants to feel like he's coming home, that it's not every day is a battle or drama or a fight. Now, this doesn't mean for you not to speak up and share your needs, because here's the other thing. I believe men want to be able to win. So if you share your feelings in a vulnerable. If a woman shares her feelings in a vulnerable way, she's expressing what she wants. She's expressing what a problem is. And a man is able to solve that. We're able to solve it and make her happy. We're going to get the peace that we want and we're going to feel needed, wanted. And like we have a purpose in the relationship. Which I think is a, another important aspect of what a man is looking for in a relationship. Because, for example, me and my wife, she. It's not always peaceful. She will Share her feelings when she's upset and she'll let me know and I. I'll. I'll, like, hear her out. And. Yeah, it may, in the moment, sometimes annoy me a little bit, like, oh, something else I gotta fix, or she's complaining or her computer's not working or something's going on or something else she's not happy about. And I'm like, okay, I got this. Something I gotta fix. However, when I get to actually have the opportunity to be her hero, to fix the problem and then to have the peace afterwards, then it feels really good because it's like, okay, I am able to meet her needs. I make her authentically happy. She's just not having to walk on eggshells around me and pretend like everything is good when it's not and the house is burning down. But she's just like, oh, I'm just this nice, you know, beautiful wife. And I'm not gonna say anything. It's like, don't worry, I'm gonna fix it. And then I get the piece, and then I get the double win of being the hero and having the piece that I want until some other issue comes up, which is fine. We get to deal with it and then have the piece again. And so your man gets this constant, like, mission that he gets to go on. Sort of like a video game of, like, what's the thing? We can do it. And it may not always be a problem. Sometimes it might also be a goal that you have. Like, I want to have kids, or I want to get a new house, or let's get a pet, or let's start a new business, or let's do this new hobby, or, let's go on a trip. And. And then those are other things that he can then start to plan for. And he can be like, okay, we're going to have to budget this, and I can plan it out. And we're going to go to this hotel. Do you like this one? And so he still gets to, like, take action beyond his mission and get. And get to that golden, blissful land of milk and honey where now you're peaceful again.

We do love to be the hero. We absolutely do. So any opportunity that we can have to be the hero will take.

So that's where also a relationship, I feel, provides a lot of meaning for a man where he's not getting this by himself. If he's living by himself, he's like, okay, maybe he's still even hooking up with girls on the side, friends with benefits, situations but nobody's, like, living with him. Nobody's like, it's not a committed, exclusive thing. And he's like, well, I don't have to fix any problems. But the downside of that is that now he's not getting the opportunity to really be somebody's hero, to really have somebody who he's, in a sense, responsible for. Because there's great power that comes with responsibility. And that power often feels good for a masculine man to be like, I am powerful. I can make people happy around me. I can take care of things. I can provide. And so that gives him this sense of meaning that he may not get as a single man, where he's just, like, living his life and it kind of becomes meaningless at some point. Like, okay, more sex, more nothingness. Maybe he's not even having sex and he's just playing video games or doing whatever. But his life becomes pretty empty because he's living for himself at that point. Which men are designed to serve. Like, throughout history, men have sacrificed themselves to serve in battle, to serve in other ways, and there were programmed for that. So you give him that opportunity when you're in a committed relationship. That's one of the big things that makes me and other men I feel that I've talked to really sense this. Have this sense of, like, I want a bigger purpose in my life that a relationship can provide. Yeah.

Actually, I believe that's one of the main reasons we have so much depression and apathy in men these days, is that they're not stepping up and they're not living that purpose. And. And when they don't have that, they do go into states of depression. Kind of a topic for another video. But I think that has a lot to do with it.

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. So we have this other question that we have here. It's a very common question we get, which is, why do some men have difficulty expressing their emotions?

Oh, this is a good one. I was really hoping we would talk about this one on the show today.

Hey, you can't show any emotions. You gotta. You gotta be like these stoic men that they're talking about.

Stone. No.

No emotions. You can't be excited.

All right, so the roots of this, I think most people will understand and they've probably heard already, but, you know, most of us, when we were growing up as boys, we were told, you know, it's. It's not manly to cry. Right. We were told, you know, it's weak in some way to express our emotions. We probably grew up watching a lot of Movies and or TV shows where that sort of tough, stoic role model was, you know, modeled for us over and over and over again. And so what we really learned when we were younger was that if we showed our emotions, it was somehow weak and not manly. I mean, that's kind of the root of it. And so because of that, we learned to stuff them all down. But not only did we learn to stuff them all down, we never learned how to share them appropriately. So the flip side of this that you'll see is that, you know, when men have stuffed it down for so long and then something happens and those emotions burst out, they'll often burst out in an unhealthy way because we never learned when we were younger how to express them in a way that's healthy. I know growing up for myself, I didn't really get to see any healthy, masculine expressions of emotion. And most of the men that I work with say the same thing. So there's a programming there that happens from very early on. Now, today, what we actually see is often the reverse of that, as we've been seeing the more feminization of men. And it's all about, you need to get in touch with your feelings, and you need to soften in and you need to show your emotions more often. Now we're seeing actually a lot of men, when they're in partnership with their woman, basically going into their feminine and dumping their emotions all over their woman, which is a huge turnoff to women.

Turning their woman into their therapist or wanting. Wanting mommy to take care of them.

Absolutely the worst thing you can do for polarity in a relationship. So I tell men all the time there's a line between sharing the emotions that she wants you to share and oversharing the emotion. So what emotions does she want you to share? She wants you to tell her that you love her.

Yeah.

She wants you to tell her how much you care about her, how much you appreciate her. She wants to know when something she does affects you in a positive way or even potentially a negative way. But that's the kind of stuff that she wants you to share with her. What she doesn't want you to do is come over and dump all your insecurities about, I don't know, work is so hard and I might get laid off and what if I can't pay the bill and, like, all that.

Am I good enough for you?

Am I good enough for you?

You're never gonna leave me, right?

Yeah. Oh, man, that stuff is the worst. Go get a therapist. Go Get a coach. Get your best buddy over a beer in your man cave. Do not do that in front of your woman.

Go read a book. Yeah, you know, the thing is with. What was I gonna say? So men. Oftentimes I feel like a woman's asking this question as well because she doesn't know how he actually feels, which is another sign that he's actually not showing also his devotion to you through his actions. Because if he's truly devotional to you, meaning he cherishes you, he cares deeply about you, he'll say things like, I love you, and I feel whatever he's feeling. You know, I feel love, I feel care for you. But he's also going to share a lot of his feelings through his actions. Yes, because the masculine is wired more for action than for sharing and vulnerability and expression. Because that's the feminine. And that's where you come in. That's how you could actually help a man to connect to his own emotions. By you being open and vulnerable. He feels his heart through you, and. And then he's more likely to show his care and love for you through his actions as a masculine man of solving your problems, checking in with you, so making sure you're happy, doing things for you, buying gifts, service. And so he's getting to be your hero. And that's how he's like. That's how he expresses his. Like, I love you, I care for you, because he's wanting to make you happy. That's the primary thing when a man really cares for you is he's like. Wants to make you happy. It's like you are his responsibility now. And if you're unhappy, that's his failure as a man. And so that primarily will be what you want to look for. And I imagine sometimes you're not feeling like you're even getting that. Where, you know, does he even like me even from his actions? So you're craving, like, some verbal affirmation. So you. It's great to have both. But also, we. We need to always stress, look for his actions over the words to a man's true care and feelings for you.

Yeah. And I'm so glad you brought up the actions part. So if I were coaching men in this moment, I. I would be telling them that when you do the actions, you also have to accompany them with the verbal. Right. Because the women won't always necessarily recognize that the actions are the way that we are sharing how much we care for her. Now, since we're primarily speaking to women here on this show, my Advice is pay attention to the actions. Right? Because the actions are going to be one of the main ways in which he's going to share with you or show you how much he really cares for you. And I think a lot of times women don't get that. They're waiting for the verbal, and when they don't get the verbal, they go, well, he must not care. And they overlook all the little things that he's doing on a regular basis in action. So I understand that you want to hear it verbally also, and that's okay. Just don't overlook the action. Overlook the action. And then, you know, you can always, in a very feminine way, ask him, hey, I noticed you did this thing for me. Why did you do that? You know, and give him an opportunity to share, to vocalize. Oh, well, I did that for you because I know how much it means to you or I know how much it makes you happy or whatever.

Yeah. We had another. We have a client who. She was having an issue with her guy because he was doing a lot of the right things. And she's like, I need to hear more from him. I need. I need more. And when we dug, what she actually wanted was commitment, because they weren't actually in a committed relationship yet. And that's what she was actually craving. She didn't want. She didn't really care about him opening up and being, you know, super emotional and sharing everything. Like, what she really wanted to know was, are you really committed to me? Are you really exclusive? Like, even beyond just exclusivity? But, like, are you committed? Like, is this. Are we like a couple? Basically, she wanted that security of being in a relationship. So that's another thing that you may be wanting when you're wondering, like, I want to hear his emotions, like, dig into yourself and say, like, is it actually. Because you don't know if he's really committed to you and that's actually what you want? And that could come across with words or with actions, primarily of him showing this devotion and claiming you, which is an emotional, like, emotional investment on his part of, like, through his actions and through just like, this is. This is my woman. Like, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make her happy. I'm gonna protect, I'm gonna provide. I'm gonna be her hero. So look also to, is he committing to you or not? That's a bigger sign to look for often than just, is he sharing every emot him at any time, which is probably what you don't want. Like, Kevin said, so we have the next question here, which is how important is physical attraction to men?

Ooh. Okay, in the first question I mentioned a little something about this.

All right?

Physical attraction is important initially. If there's no physical attraction, we're not likely to necessarily go up and try to meet you or get your attention in some way. So physical attraction is important from that point of view. However, it's not the thing that holds a relationship together long term. Now, having said that, there needs to at least be some physical attraction. But not as much as you think. In other words, a lot of women think that I got to look like a supermodel all the time. I got to be the perfect body, I got to have the perfect boobs, I got to have my hair, my makeup done all the time. No, there's a time and a place for that. And, and you know, humans are human, right? And we got stuff. We got stretch marks, we got cellulite, we got things that are hanging in places that they didn't used to hang when we were younger. Right. And that's life. And there's not a whole lot we can do about that. There are some things we can do, but some things we can't change. The reality though is, is that those aren't the things that are going to make him want to leave you. Right. Especially if you've been in a relationship for a while and things change over time. What's going to make him want to leave? You know, no sex, the nagging, the complaining, the controlling, the competing. Like those are the things that are actually going to make him want to run in the other direction. So yes, physical looks are important when you are first meeting. Yes, there should be at least a decent level of physical attraction to keep the fire going throughout the long term relationship. But it's not nearly as important, I think, as most women think, think that it is. Because I know a lot of women stress about this, like if I gain a little extra weight, he's going to leave me or if this happens, you know, he's not going to be attracted to me anymore. I know women stress over this. Just know that that's not as important as all of the other things that we talk about all the time.

Yeah. The energetics are also so important, which is why we go so deep into this channel on masculine feminine polarity. Because there's an analogy that I've heard before. It's like if you imagine this beautiful 20 year old woman and she's gorgeous, but her energy is like her arms are closed, she has like A frown on her face. She's like body language, is kind of hunched over, she's making herself small, not making eye contact with anyone, not smiling, wearing like gray baggy clothes. Comparing that woman to now let's say an older woman in her even, let's say 70s, 60s, 70s. And she's lit up, she's smiling, she's open body language, she's receptive, she is flowing, she's laughing, she's not trying to control anything, having fun. You know, hair is flowing and moving around. Just the ultimate, ultimate feminine. Right. So men have very different reactions to both those. Just from an energetic perspective. The men might not even notice the super hot 20 year old who has the closed off, energetically just closed. And then the woman and then the completely open, radiant, vulnerable older woman.

You said the magic word. You said the magic word. Yes, well, vulnerability and radiance.

Radiance, right.

So the most attractive thing to a man when it comes to a woman is how radiant she is. And radiant doesn't mean how perfect your makeup is or your hair or how symmetrical your face is. Like you said you could be 70 years old, right. Have all the wrinkles, have all the things that a normal 70 year old would have and still be radiant and attractive. Yeah.

And receiving him because that's the, that's where you get this polarity that is, it's like it is a law of the universe. The law of polarity states that opposite energies attract each other. So masculine, feminine attracts each other. And so when you're in your feminine, regardless of what you look like, when you're vulnerable, when you're radiant, you're going to attract masculine energy, you're going to attract masculine attention. Guys are going to notice you, you'll just be walking on the street and guys will just make notice you because it's like, wow, there's feminine energy around here. Especially if it's more masculine. Like guys, you know, construction workers, kind of the stereotypical kind of thing and they're like whistling at her. But it would do that with you because if you're in radiance, that's complete opposite energy. What they might be in their full masculine like work mode and then that's going to spark that attraction and that's, that's something that you can sustain and build in a relationship that does that could even become more intense as you age.

Every man notices a radiant woman. When a radiant woman walks into the room, everybody notices. They just do. There's, there's an energy there that's undeniable. And, you know, I can honestly say, too, I've seen a lot of really beautiful young women, and they are beautiful physically. And when I look at them and I can just tell from their energy, I would never in a million years want to date them, regardless of how absolutely beautiful they are. Because I know that I can tell generally, you know, Obviously there's no 100%, but I can often tell when looking at them whether or not they've got the level of emotional maturity that I would be looking for in a relationship, which is way more important to me than the actual physical looks.

Yeah. And I think two of that I've noticed is there's two archetypes of these women that I've noticed where it's like, wow, they're. They're really blocking themselves energetically from masculine devotion. Right. Really. Which is. The one is I call Mrs. Depressed. We'll just call her that, just Mrs. Like, she just doesn't look happy. She doesn't want to talk. She doesn't look. She looks like she doesn't want to talk to anybody. She looks like she's not enjoying her life and just kind of closed up. Now, that's one archetype that's just kind of. I wouldn't say it necessarily repels men, but it is, like, completely neutral. It's just like a wall. It's like, guys don't really notice a wall or want to approach a wall. It may actually push some guys away where it's just like, oh, I got to stay away from her if it really bad. Like, I don't want to be around that energy. Now, the other one is what I call Miss Too cool for school. So this is the woman that's very aloof. She's maybe. She may be smiling and radiant, but she's like. She doesn't make eye contact with anyone. She's like, what's the thing? It's like. It's almost like either she. She's putting herself, like she's above everyone else. Like, I'm too, like, kind of like sort of. Sort of a celebrity mentality of, like, the Ice Queen in a way of, like, I just not gonna, like, mix with the commoners. I'm doing my own thing and kind of closed off. Still kind of sometimes closed off body language, turning away from people, not making full eye contact, not smiling, not available. Right. And so it's this kind of like, I'm. Everything's good. Like, I don't need anybody. I'm good. I'm just enjoying myself. I'm just Too cool. And that also is gonna be not magnetic to men. Men still may say like, wow, she seems interesting. But they're not gonna approach, they're not gonna engage because they're like, they don't feel that, that like, desire to like actually engage.

Yeah. You know, I have a friend who was telling me about a woman he just met the other day and he said, he said, you know, she's really hot. Like, she's really hot, but she's crazy.

The hot crazy matrix.

Yeah, exactly. You've seen the hot crazy matrix. And it's just like it doesn't matter how hot she is if she doesn't have the right energy. If she's, if she's too far in that crazy matrix, she's. She's out.

Yeah. And especially since we're talking about the context of relationships here, like that's clearly going to be a situation where a man's not going to want a long term connection.

Yeah.

They'll, they'll hook up with, still with girls, both of these girls. Like, guys will still have sex with them in a lot of situations and sure, whatever, if the woman really wants that or she's available to that, but they're not really going to enjoy being around her long term.

But you know, by the way, if you're a woman and you're listening to this and you fall into one of those categories that Brody was describing, you know, I would, I would ask that you do a little bit of introspection because those attitudes are generally protection mechanisms.

Yeah. Yeah.

So the reason why you're shutting off energy from the masculine, you know, there's trauma, potentially abuse. There's something underneath there where you feel like you have to protect yourself from that, so you shut down. Some people do it by putting on weight. Some people do it by, you know, totally dressing down and messy and not. Not.

Yeah. Or trying to intensity. Intentionally make themselves look unattractive through like dyeing their hair crazy colors or a bunch of piercings or tattoos or just weird clothes or dark, you know, wearing all black or something like that where it's just like, whoa.

But, but even the too, the too cool for school can potentially be that as well. Just, you know, just. It's the opposite end of the spectrum. But it's still a way of distancing yourself and protecting yourself from, from that masculine.

Yeah. And worthiness is a part of it too. Of like if you don't feel good enough, if you don't feel like you're worthy of being loved, being, having, having a happy Relationship. Oftentimes you will do those same protective mechanisms as a way to avoid rejection. Not just like. So there's that one part of, like, I don't want to be hurt again. I don't want to be traumatized. I don't want to be abused in one way. And then the other part is also, like, I don't want to be rejected. I don't want to put my whole self out there. I don't want to actually be vulnerable and. And then feel like, have a man think it's not good enough. And then I feel rejected, and I feel even worse. So. But really, a worthy woman is vulnerable as a way to build self worth. Like, by you being vulnerable, you're actually showing and proving yourself that you are worthy because you're like, hey, I'm worth being seen. I'm worth being approached. I'm worth having love. I'm worth having a man devote himself to me because I'm good enough. You're the prize. You're the queen. Like, why wouldn't he want you? Why wouldn't he want to devote himself to you? That. That's kind of mindset of, like, a worthy woman. And, like, my feelings are important, my desires are important. I'm important. And that allows you to be more open and to be more radiant because you're like, hey, I'm good enough. I'm just good the way I am. Like, I'm perfect and I'm perfectly imperfect, and that's fine. Right? All right, so now let's get the next question. Here we have. When a man is ignoring you, what is going on in his head?

Oh, we talked a little bit about this in another video. So we actually covered a whole lot of things in that one. We'll kind of keep it a little bit more simple in this one. But in general, if he's ignoring you or disappearing on you, something has happened in the dating process that makes him unsure as to whether or not he actually wants to be in relationship with you. So that can be a lot of different things. It's hard to say exactly what it is, but. But something, you know, he was. He was in. In the beginning, and then suddenly he's like, oh, oh, there's that thing, right? I don't know. And especially if it's early on in the dating process where you haven't fully committed to each other yet, and he's potentially talking to other women either in dating sites or messaging or just going out, if something happens, then he might start turning his attention to see. Well, let Me see if the grass is greener over here. Right. And then he starts becoming more distant. He stops texting as frequently. So that's one of the major reasons.

Yeah, I would say it's often there's not much going on in his head. Logically is more of a. Because guys have emotions too. As we discussed. He's probably just feeling not that excited about it. He's not that interested, he's not that drawn to like engage and create a creator, a deeper relationship. So he's probably distancing himself for those reasons like you said, of just being uncertain, unsure about something. Probably most likely because the polarity was off in a lot of ways. Either you were trying to control him in some way or you were trying to get him to get something from him or you weren't showing that you have a high sense of self worth and so he just wasn't feeling that attraction. Or in fact he was feeling a little repulsed by your masculine energy. Or maybe you were trying to give to him and that's just another way of also trying to control a man. Usually when you're giving to a man it's also trying to get love from him. Trying to get something, trying to get him to even just like you. And so it could have been something that repulsed him as well in that sense energetically. So yeah, he, he's. If he is thinking something logically. So if you're in a deeper relationship with a man. Some men, I've heard they've admitted this to some of our clients is that they, they will use withdrawal as a form of punishment too. Like they're going to be like I'm intentionally not going to reach out to you. I'm intentionally not inviting you to my birthday party. We had something we had that happen recently because you weren't there for me. That's obviously a very feminine man. But you know, these immature son broken men will sometimes do things like this where they're intentionally pulling away because they're testing you or they're punishing you or they want to see how you react or something like that. But it's, it's pretty rare in those situations unless it is a very feminine guy.

Well and a very mature person. So that those are the types of things that you will see. And it's not just I say immature because I didn't want to say young. Yes, young tends to be immature. However, There can be 40 year olds and 50 year olds who are still doing this behavior because they've never really grown up and matured. Right. So it's not tied to age necessarily, but yes, those are behaviors that you would potentially see in an immature man who doesn't know how to, to handle his emotions, who doesn't know how to voice those emotions. Right. Or to come up with solutions to fix things that are potentially not.

Or how to lead. Also, he doesn't know how to lead in the relationship and lead you to feeling better, leading you to opening up, too. A masculine, mature man will know how to open his woman up to actually communicate. Even if you're like the type of woman where you kind of swallow things up and you don't really share and you don't speak up as much. Like, a masculine man will try to pull it out of you and he'll, he'll, he'll say like, what's wrong? Or he'll try to go deeper and check in with you.

Yeah. And a more feminine, immature man will do stupid things like punish you. You know, like, well, I'm just not going to call her for three days.

You know, then maybe she'll. She'll give me what I want.

Yeah. Which, which of course, you know, obviously you're, you're angry with something that she did, so now you're going to punish her, which is.

And women do this too, by the way, a lot.

Yeah, we're just gonna make her more angry, which is then gonna make him. And then you see the vicious cycle that you create.

Passive aggression, trying to jab at each other. I'm gonna hold back. I'm not gonna give you this thing. I'm not gonna have sex with you because of what you said last week.

You know, I get, you know, even in men who aren't necessarily trying to be mean or punished, I will get questions from men I coach all the time about, like, well, how many days should I wait before I text her back or call her? This kind of thing. And they're all trying to basically game the system to which my advice always is just don't play games.

Yeah.

Just no games. There is no, oh, I gotta wait X amount of time. Or I can only say this or I can only say that. Just communicate with her on a regular basis, especially when it feels appropriate. And communicate how you're feeling.

Yeah. Which is why I love what we teach, you know, in our coaching memberships and here on the channel as well, around magnetic feminine polarity and magnetic feminine communication, which is really the closest thing I've ever found to the no games approach, which is when you as a woman are being raw, open and vulnerable. With him pretty much at all times, sharing how you're feeling, but you're doing it in the right way where you're not putting your feelings onto him, making him responsible for your feelings, or subtly criticizing him or trying to lead him or guide him or control him in some way or attack him, but you're just truly vulnerable. And then he can now know what's going on for you and actually step up and solve. And as a man, like you're saying men, the way that no games approach is for men is like, if his woman's not opening up, she's not connecting in a way. Like, he knows how to lead her to initiate, to lead those conversations in a healthy, mature way that's also making her feel safe to open up and feel like she wants to open up to him. But yeah, that's really the ultimate for a man and a woman. The no games approach is a man healthily leading a woman and a woman healthily being open and vulnerable.

Man, if I could get both sides to stop playing games, man, that, that would be a lifetime achievement right there.

We'll put that. We got to get a Guinness Book of world records set up for, like, first love coach to ever create no games. And anyone who ever listened to his teachings. Yeah. So then we have another good question here. I was going to pull up, which is. I thought this one was interesting. How do men perceive independent and strong women?

Okay, this is a great question. The answer is it depends. Why does it depend? Well, it depends because of this. Most women today, when they are independent, strong women, that's just a nice way of saying she's intermasculine. Right. So how does a man perceive an independent, strong woman when what that really means is she's just in her masculine all the time? Well, he perceives her as bossy, controlling, bitchy, naggy. All the things that we say you shouldn't do as a woman. Now, why is this a tricky question? Well, because I don't want you to think that you can't actually be a strong and independent woman. You absolutely can be a strong and independent woman, but you have to know when to be a strong and independent woman and when to soften into your feminine. Right? So we talk about this all the time. This is something that comes up in the magnetize your man school, the group all the time, Right. Which is how do I go from being, you know, single mom or boss at work, you know, I'm the boss, babe, whatever it is. And then how do I transition in my relationship with my man? Into my feminine. It is a. It is a skill, and it is one that a lot of women struggle with. So you can be strong, you can be independent, you can run your own company, you can take care of yourself, you can make your own money, but when you are relating with your man, you have to find a way to be able to shift out of that and into your feminine and create that polarity between the two of you and allow him to step up and be the king, be the leader, be the masculine that he can be and that he wants to be, at least if he's a good man anyway. So. So the answer is tricky because in many cases, men will perceive it negatively, Right. Because of the way it manifests in the relationship. But if done properly, it can actually be perceived as a really positive thing, which is like, you know, I want to take care of you as a man. Right. I want you to trust me that I'm going to take care of you, But I also want to know that when I'm not here, you can take care of yourself. Right. So if we just use the. The analogy of, like, physical protection. Right. I want her to know that whenever she's in my world and with me, I will make sure that she is physically safe.

Yeah. You know, whether I will die if I have to. Yes.

Yeah.

I will take the bullet.

Absolutely. But I also know that I can't be around 24 7.

Yeah.

I might be at work, I might be, you know, whatever. Wherever I am, whatever I'm doing. I also want to know that she's capable of taking care of herself. So the idea that she can be strong and independent when she needs to be, but also soften in her feminine and create that polarity when she needs to be that. That is the best of both worlds.

Yeah. There's a. There's a couple of good analogies I have with this one, which is the first one is, would you rather be superwoman or supported woman? Meaning superwoman does it all takes care of everybody else, makes everybody else happy, meets their needs, basically a man and burns out. And burns out.

She will absolutely burn out if she stays there too long.

Or supported woman, which is you can do those things by yourself, but you're supported and. And you're able to have a man also do many of those things for you that you don't want to do, like kill the bear running through the window or go out and, you know, earn some extra income or earn all the income potentially, or fix the problems around the house or take you out for amazing Adventures, traveling, planning things, planning dates, treating you, buying dinner, doing all these other things where you're supported, where you can relax, where you can let your hair down, where you can enjoy, where you can receive that you don't always have to give because giving is masculine, receiving is feminine. So you can receive and enjoy his gifts. Just like in sex where he's giving to you, he's giving you pleasure, he's taking care of you, he's checking in, he's leading. And then the other thing is, like we were saying about the independent piece is a man doesn't want to have to do everything for you. Like he doesn't want to, he can't do everything for you, he can't feed you, he's not going to want to feed everything into your head, your mouth while you're eating. I mean, romantic context. Me and my wife were just in a, in a. We had our 10 year anniversary yesterday. I don't know if I mentioned this.

No, you did not. Happy anniversary.

Thank you. It was fun. We went to this beautiful resort called Rancho Valencia and we got this bath, this bath before, 30 minutes in this bath and then we got a couple's massage. It was amazing. I've never had that, that, something like that in my life before. It was really, really cool. But the idea where I was, was I going with that is like, oh yeah. So in a situation like that, he might want to feed you the chocolate, strawberry, those kind of context. But on a daily life, like he also wants you to be able to take care of your own health. You're exercising when you need to, you know, you're taking care of your hygiene, you're washing yourself, you're doing all these things that are basic, like human functioning things, right? And then so there's like a point where you got the things that you kind of need to do for yourself. But then there's the things that you don't really need to do for yourself. Like you don't need to really plan out the date yourself or you don't really need to fix the car yourself or you don't really need to, you know, get, get the new window installed in your house. You know, different things, problems you might have, different issues you might have in your life or you know, man taking off the coat for you, opening the door for you. Yeah, you can open the door for yourself. But like what Celine said was, I like it so much more when you do it for me. So that little extra level of like you can be supported. And so that's where What a man is looking for too is he wants to see that you're self sufficient in this certain sense, as a basic human, you're taking care of yourself and you value yourself. But then also he wants to feel needed. And he wants to feel like if you're too independent, if you're too strong, he's like, where's the space for me? Because like we mentioned before, men, masculine man, he gets his sense of happiness by feeling needed. That he has a purpose, that he has a meaning, that he can make people happy, that he can be of service, that he's wanted and appreciated and valued for what he brings to the table. And if he feels like you don't need him, there's nothing he can do to really add to your life because you're doing it all yourself. You're Superwoman. Like, why do you need me? You don't need me. I'm gonna go find a woman who needs me. I'm gonna go find a woman. I can, I can be the super man too. Not if you're already superwoman. You don't need a Superman. So he's gonna go find some woman he could be Superman for. That's how he's gonna feel good. That's how he's going to feel received and that he gets to feel like a man. He gets to feel like, hey, I'm the hero. This feels great. I want to do this all the rest of my days of my life. I want to be the hero. I don't want to be the, you know, simp in the corner, just, you know, watching porn or just playing video games because no woman, you know, needs me or wants me. He doesn't want to be that. Guys will do that when they don't feel needed and they don't feel wanted by society or by a woman or by women in general. But that's not what they want. They want to be needed. They want to provide.

Yeah. And I wish, I wish more of today's younger generation men would realize that that's actually what they want and need. Unfortunately, they get, they get stuck in basically perpetual childhood where they don't want to step up and take on the responsibilities. And then they wonder why no woman wants them.

Yeah, well, it's also because they're not feeling a lot of them, that society values them, that they're wanted, they have anything to offer. Because, hey, you got AI, you got all this manufacturing, you got this, you know, great military. Like, what do they really. Where's the place for most? A lot of modern Men and they're having a hard time finding that place because they're not feel needed. So you can make your man find all those ways. This could be a good exercise for you listening. Find all the different ways where you would like a man to provide for you. You would love a man to give to you. You would enjoy it. And you're creating space in your life. Like, you know what I would love if a man could really plan an amazing anniversary date or just a date if you're single. Like, I would love a man to do that. I would love a man to take me on a trip to Paris and show me the sights and have amazing sex with me and make me take me to new he and which you. You teach them. You would help them with that or I do as a sex expert. And all the different things where you were like, yeah, that would be amazing. I would love to have a man that's like my partner with me by my side. He's protecting me. He's making sure there's no weird people around. He's giving me massages. He's leading, he's taking charge. He's taking care of our life. He's moving things forward. He's making the home amazing. He's fixing things, things. He's leading us to new adventures and new, new, new things we can have in our life. So yeah, that's what you got to look for, is what are those things you actually want a man to provide and then he can feel needed and then that you're not gonna have to worry as much about if he's seeing you as a too strong or independent because you're creating that space. You're stepping into your feminine, you're opening. Feminine is about the openness, the receiving. Again, just like in sex, you're open, you're available to receive. A masculine man wants to give to you rather than being closed up. And like, I got it. I don't need no man. I'm a boss babe.

I actually know quite a few single boss babes.

Oh, really?

They're miserable.

Surprising.

They are miserable.

Yeah. Again, you could be very successful and you can have all these things, but with what we're teaching you here, you can have. We really can have it. Both have all of it. You just got to got to make some adjustments and be taking responsibility for your love life and learn how to really step in your feminine, which is totally possible. And we're going to teach you those strategies. So let's cover one or two more questions here. We've kind of answered a lot of these here. What are. How do men view marriage and family?

Okay, how do men view marriage and family? This has changed a lot over the years. So in our parents generation, or at least my parents generation, it was always viewed with the idea that for sure you were going to get married and you were going to have a family, and that was it. And I know for a lot of people in that generation, when they did do that, let's say, you know, they ended up divorcing later on because that was really the first generation where divorce was a really big issue. Is that the boomer generation, I know a lot of them felt defeated or like, you know, somehow they were unsuccessful because they ended up in divorce. So, so in that generation, you know, marriage was something you absolutely did. It was the, it was one of the goals of dating and relationship, as was having a family. That has shifted quite a bit with subsequent generations. And I have seen for a number of years, especially the younger generations, saying things like, and this is still, still an issue. A lot of the younger generations are looking at it thinking they don't actually want to get married, they just either want to live together or they want to have manage multiple relationships. So that has shifted quite a bit. The desire to have a family has also shifted quite a bit. You know, in the context of what we teach here when we're, we're teaching you how to find a quality man and how to really have a successful relationship, I would caution you not to really get involved with those men. And there are a lot of them out there now. Like, if you're, if you're in the 20s and 30s ish range these days, you will see tons and tons of men out there who have that point of view. However, I will say this also, that we are now seeing that even start to change again. And now we're seeing a whole lot more men. You know, you've seen the memes out there with the bearded guy memes, right? There is a very big and upcoming and growing segment of the population of men who are now going back to more traditional values and who are now really valuing things like marriage and family and living off grid and you know, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah. Speaking of memes, you made me think of this other meme that I've, I've seen for the last like six or so years on and off, which is really, I love it. But it's like it says what women think men want. And on one side it's like this woman with like boobs and A big butt. You know, it's like. It's like what men. What women think men want. And then below, it's like what men actually want. And it shows a man with, like, a wife and, like, four kids and they're like, you know, at the white picket fence house and stuff like that.

Yeah.

And that's become a lot more true, especially, you know, for more conservative and traditional men that are out there and that they are becoming more so, I feel, because again, what's going to give a man a deeper sense of purpose than being able to take care of a woman in the sense of a marriage and that level of commitment, as well as potentially having a kids and having a family with her, which is like, wow, this is like, he may not be running the world, but he can run a family. You know, he could build his own little empire.

Yeah. These. These younger generations have really been programmed that, you know, having kids is bad for the environment and.

Right.

You know, all of the pressure on them to be less masculine has really put them in a place of, you know, staying in perpetual childhood.

Yeah.

You know, living at mom and dad's till they're.

Yeah. The man children. I mean, if you want to get depressed, go on YouTube and look up, like, Pokemon trading cards and you'll see all these, like, videos of guys mostly, like, trading Pokemon cards. They're like in their 30s and 40s.

Yeah. So there's. But there's been a lot of societal pressure, and it's shifted the way those particular people view marriage and family.

Yeah.

But I will say, if you only focus on that, you think all is lost and it's doom and gloom. Like, if you're a woman, especially if you're younger, and that's the main segment that you're seeing out on the dating sites. You know, the algorithms are matching you, and it's just like you're looking at going, oh, my God, I'm never going to find him. Like, the. It's just never going to happen. Right. Just know there is another whole segment of the population out there that is realizing they've been sold a bunch of BS and that the more traditional values are actually what make them happy in the direction that they want to go in.

And oftentimes traditional values are traditional because there's a lot of wisdom in those traditions. You think people are starting to realize that maybe we shouldn't throw all.

Just programming from the patriarchy? Every bit of it.

It's all just. What do they call it? Societal programming. Yeah. Yeah. It's a societal Creation. No, There's a lot of truth where at the end of the day, we're humans, we have biology, we have instincts that have not changed ever since the first human was here on the planet. And there's a lot of reasons why those instincts are within us. And one of them, the big ones, is to procreate. And here's the other thing is, like, a lot of men will exchange. What was I gonna say? It's like this. This idea of devotion. So when a man is seeing marriage as a gateway for him to actually have a bigger purpose and have a more devotion to a woman, so he's. Men are exchanging this ability to, like, just be having fun and just play around, which I did for a while too. So in my early 20s, I didn't have a great role model. Also growing up with my. My family, and didn't feel like I had a strong, masculine role model. And so I was just kind of having fun and not sure what I. What I was really wanting except to do that and just date a bunch of women and just enjoy my life. But then about, you know, mid into my mid-20s, I started feeling the sense of, like, this is kind of empty. It's kind of meaningless. Like, what is it? Just more sex, more dating, more of the same, basically, which I'm like, that's kind of depressing. When I was kind of future pacing that out. Like, that sounds like that's actually going to be pretty depressing to me if that's just the rest of my life is going to be like. And I started feeling like, actually if I had a woman in my life where I could devote myself, where we can actually go deep with each other and create almost like a power couple partnership, which is how I saw it, of like, someone who I'm connected with on all levels. That would be interesting to me because now it's like a partnership. Now it's like Superman and Superwoman. It's like, you know, Bonnie and Clyde. It's this, this. This meeting together to create something more in the world, in their life and actually make a difference. And that's when I met my wife. That was one of the first things I actually said to her the night we met, which I'd never said to any woman before. I said, we have a huge responsibility to humanity. And what I meant by that is I felt this with. When I met her. I'm like, wow, us coming together, like, we can do some stuff. And I was excited about it. And I'm like, it's almost like with great Power again comes great responsibility. Us coming together. We're going to have a responsibility to actually use this for good and to actually make sure we use it and not waste it. And I told her that that night. I didn't even fully know what it meant. But of course it did end up being us building this company together and helping many singles around the world. And we've helped men and women now, so many women, and it's been amazing.

That is actually one of the secrets to a successful long term relationship is that the relationship has a higher purpose than just being together. Right?

Yeah.

So that higher purpose could simply be modeling to other people what a healthy relationship looks like.

Yeah.

That higher purpose could be raising great children.

Yeah.

Right. But, but if the relationship has a higher purpose other than we're just together because we thought we were hot and yeah, it seemed like.

Or like there's this, there was this meme that they were trying to push for a while called the Dinks. Double income, no kids. Like, we're dinks. We get to sleep in and mess. We get to sleep in and smoke pot all day, you know, oh, we're dinks. We're just going to eat, eat ice cream for lunch. It's like this stupid, like, who cares? So depressing. That's your life. Just to be like even just being a couple, partnership and you're just like being basically depraved and just having a bunch of pleasure.

Yeah. Not having, not having the responsibility of kids does not mean you get to shirk all your other responsibilities.

That you can be doing together. But yeah, kids is a, is a, is a big piece of it. And I, I feel so fulfilled having my daughter and I want to have as many kids as possible because it just, it lights me up and it makes me feel like, wow, I'm, I am creating more kids in the world on top of like more amazing humans on top of having the business and making the impact. But all the different levels. Right. Because I think there's different levels of what you can do in a marriage. And also this is the last thing I'll say on it is that marriage, it's empowering when men can see marriage, I think a lot of men do see marriage as a gateway to a deeper level, a better life, a higher devotional life. Sort of even like imagine a man who is devotional, like a priest. He's devotional to God. Right. Well, a man could also be devotional to his wife. And I want to, you know, serve. I want to, I want to be protecting. I Want to be studying her. I want to learn from her. I want to see what all the things we don't know about each other. So there's like, levels of growth and even a spiritual practice that a marriage can turn into and that marriage can be seen as a gateway to more freedom as well. So one of the things that me and my wife said when we got married also was, with this ring, I set you free. The idea was, what if marriage was actually a gateway to more freedom, more expression, more possibilities, more things we could achieve, and not seeing it as a burden, a trap, something I'm going to be controlled in. And so you could help the man to see that and to feel that for himself. When you see marriage also as a gateway for him, being more of himself, having more fun, having more experience, having more life, and being able to be a happier man because he's able to commit and devote himself to you and make himself into your hero, that if you hold that, you're more likely to be able to help him inspired into that energy as well. That marriage is a gateway to more.

It certainly can be. Now, you're going to have to demonstrate that through your actions, because a lot of times men do feel about marriage that it always. It's a trap. It's the old ball and chain kind of thing. It's going to limit me, it's going to hold me back. But you can demonstrate through your actions that that is not the case. Now, that's going to be a little tough for some of you anxious types out there. But if you can move into secure attachment and you can demonstrate that through your actions, then your marriage absolutely can be that. And I will say, I think, you know, getting married is probably the best thing I've ever done. I mean, it was absolutely amazing to me, and it was far better than I ever thought it would be. So I, you know, I'm a big fan. But, you know, you have to do it right? You have to do it consciously. You have to put in the work to learn to become the best version of yourself. And both of you have to do that right? So, you know, marriage in and of itself can be a disaster, and it often is for a lot of people and can be the most amazing thing that you've ever done in life.

Your.

Your life. It's all in how you approach it and how you put the work in. And along those lines, I want to say one thing too. You know, you mentioned that you were in your 20s and you were, you know, just kind of playing around that Is okay, in my opinion, when you're young. Like when you're young, go out there and, you know, do all the dating scenes, do all the things, check things off your bucket list, get it out of your system when you're young, right? And then also while you're doing that, learn, learn as much as you can. Because the goal is that when you do get to that point where you meet that right person and you do want to get married, right, you've already learned a bunch of stuff so that your marriage doesn't have to be, you know, where you actually make all the mistakes first. Now you're going to make some. But, you know, you want to come into that union as healed as you possibly can. I've seen too many people when they get married super, super young and, you know, they haven't had a lot of experiences in life, then later on down the road they're like, well, I've never had a threesome and I've never done this and I've never done that. Right? And then they start cheating and doing all these things outside. Not recommended at all in any way. So if you are going to do that stuff, do it when you're young. Learn from your mistakes so that later on when you get into, you know, really healthy, quality relationship, you're not going to screw it up.

Yeah, well. And you still got to be very careful with that because you don't want to be then bringing in a bunch of baggage. Absolutely.

The best thing, don't create carnage and scarring and trauma. Don't, don't, don't do that.

Well, the best thing really is to learn from other people's mistakes, ideally, and not to have to do them yourself.

That's why, unfortunately, that most people got to learn the hard way.

That's why it's so great. Those who are listening and watching right now, like you're preempting a lot of mistakes that you may be getting, avoiding getting into when you're in your next relationship, whatever that looks like for you, whether you're in your 20s right now, you're in your 50s or 70s, whatever that is. Like, we want to make sure that your next relationship is your best relationship or the one you're in right now, that we make it into a better one without you having more struggles, more of these issues that might happen, more challenges, because you don't understand how to be in your feminine or you don't understand how to use magnetic feminine communication, or you don't know what men actually want and how they operate all these things we're teaching here.

If you're emotionally mature enough to get married at 20. Awesome, awesome. I think that's fantastic. I just don't see that many young people today who have anywhere near the emotional maturity to pull that off.

Yeah, what we need to do is we need to get our videos, we need to petition to the government or become, you know, let's run for president or whatever we have to do so that we can get this, these videos into the high schools.

Sure.

Maybe not grade schools, maybe middle schools would be probably a good age to start learning relationship teachings like this. Masculine, feminine polarity, healthy communication vulnerability.

I'm not going to say that our grandparents generation had it all figured out and had the most perfect, healthy relationships because, you know, we all know that's not necessarily, necessarily the case. But I will say this. At 17 years old, my grandfather was lying to the military to join the military because he wanted to go overseas and fight. And you had to be 18.

Yeah.

By the time he was, I think 19ish, he was home, he was marrying my grandmother, and then they were having kids. Think about that today. So here he was, he said he'd already been to war.

The way you describe it sounds like that's something that happened a thousand years ago. Right. So crazy to see how culture can shift. Right. But societies can shift so quickly.

Two generations ago.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

And it was common back then.

Yeah.

By the time he was 20. Right. He had already been to war, started his own business, got married and was starting a family by 20. And that was common back then. So it can happen.

That's why they were called the, the greatest generation. Right. Because they did some, they did some impressive stuff. Impressive things. And we could learn a lot from them if we could just go back in time and interview some of them. But maybe we find some videos that are existing that we could show on our channel. Maybe there might be some interesting stuff that's already existing. Some interviews with those generation.

And not to say that there weren't faults, there were things that they hadn't learned. Right.

The biggest fault was that they were.

That weren't healthy in relationship. But there were a lot of things where they were actually ahead of where we are today.

I was gonna say something that would probably offend a lot of people, but I said the biggest fault they had was raising the baby boomers. Sorry, I just, I'm just in jest in j. Every generation has its pluses and negatives. Every generation has indeed. The millennials. My generation. Oh, oh, my Gosh, I can go on forever about the.

Except the Gen Xers, which is my generation.

Okay. Yeah.

You know, we're considered the next after the great generation. Then there was Boomers and then Gen X. People tend to say that Gen X's are kind of one of the last great ones. I'm not saying that necessarily, but, but, but we did as Gen Xers. This is a total aside, but we did learn some interesting things because we were actually the first generation that was really left on our own. We were the first generation that didn't really have stay at home moms. And so while there were some real negatives to that, there were some positives to that as well. We really learned how to be self sufficient and how to take care of ourselves and get things done and you know, self soothe, so to speak.

Yeah, yeah, totally makes me think of Fight Club. That was kind of the Gen X Next anthem movie, I guess. Yeah, that was. Yeah, take care of yourself. But anyways, so I think we're about good for today. If you want to actually take this to the next level for your relationship, particularly if you have a man, you're interested that you want to have him really step up into his masculine treat you like the queen, be your Superman, then I would highly recommend taking our free Magnetize youe Man quiz by clicking the link in the description below this video. Or you can go to femininepolarity.com because that's a big part of the quiz is masculinefemininepolarity.com and getting that, that's going to really set you on the right course to have the best relationship you can possibly have and get support and get a customized recommendation for that. And also if you'd like to follow Kevin on his social media, yeah, you.

Can follow me on YouTube, Evanandseline, you can follow me on Facebook @Kevinandseline and also Instagram, which is real Kevin and Celine. I wasn't fast enough to get just Kevin and Celine on that one.

Yeah, you gotta find some funny nickname or something.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, as time goes on, I will be having to rebrand that because as listeners know, you know, Celine passed over a year and a half ago now and I've been doing my best to keep our work going under our names because she was such an integral part of what we did. But as time goes on I will have to transition that away as she's not here to contribute to that anymore. But for now, Kevin and Celine. And don't forget to check out the Love Lab podcast both on my YouTube channel and on all major podcast platforms.

Awesome. Much love. Take care, and we'll talk to you again very soon.