This Video Will Make You Confident

This video will make you confident. I'm Angie Boyd with Magnetize youe man. And together with my husband, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world for the last 20 years combined to get a committed, connected and long term relationship that they desire fast. So in this video you will learn what to do internally, what to break through so that you can feel confident, so that you can receive men that cherish you, that desire you, that pursue you and that protect you. So let's go ahead and dive right in. Number five is what I call stop comparing Gitis. Now, is there always going to be someone who's smarter than you, more beautiful than you, more talented than you, more creative than you? Of course, course. However, successful women know that it's about the art of self focus that gets you the happiness. Look. What happens is of course on the opposite side, it always looks like the grass is greener. However, you know what, a grass is greener because the grass has been watered. So I'm here to suggest to you that you do do the same. So let's go ahead and actually talk about what does it look like to water your own grass, right? How to actually nurture your own self confidence and self esteem. So number one, when you notice that you compare yourself to someone, here's actually someone that you learn something that you learn when you step into the work of projection because you spotted you got it. The reason you love somebody's talent or you love somebody's humor, or you love somebody's success or you love somebody's looks is because you have access to that inside of yourself. Now, of course, you may find yourself laughing right now because you say, well, Auntie, that is certainly not true. I don't have that education and that that woman has. I don't have that wonderful childhood, that upbringing. I don't have men knocking in, standing in line, knocking down the door, and so on. However you spot it, you got it, right? You can't recognize something in someone else that you don't have inside of yourself. Now what of course happened, most likely that you spent decades lying to yourself and saying that you're not worthy, or that you have to put everyone else first, or that your voice doesn't matter, or that you don't have anything important to say, or that there's no point to, you know, putting yourself up, so to say, because your sister was the one who was the homecoming queen. Or maybe you had so many siblings that you were invisible and you felt easily replaceable because your parents wouldn't even Notice if you were there or not, right? Or maybe you even experienced abandonment or neglect or even abuse in your childhood. But what I always say, seek and you will find. So whatever you focus on expands. Which means if you actually say, you know what I'm looking at, where am I this person, right? Where am I successful? You know, where am I beautiful? And how can I be even more aware of all the opportunities that are already around me that help me to nourish my self esteem or help me to nourish my talent, or help me to nourish my, my. My beauty or my intelligence or whatever you project onto the other person. So let me know how that goes below. I'm very, very curious because when I stopped comparing Gitis, and of course I'm not perfect, nobody's perfect. Of course it still happens occasionally. But when I realize, look, everybody does the best they can, right? And the other piece also is whatever you project onto the other person is not the be all, end all. There's oftentimes a second story to that you don't see because the other person is. That doesn't want you to see what they struggle with. Or you simply don't take the time to actually see that they have interpersonal challenges, or maybe they have health issues that are maybe not as visible or fill in the blank. Don't forget, everyone has something. Number four is breakthrough unconscious, ancestral cultural agreements. Now, have you ever experienced that you hit a certain ceiling? It could be a certain pleasure ceiling, right? Like maybe you fill yourself up with a beautiful weekend with girlfriends, maybe with your kids, like maybe with your favorite man, and then you do something to sabotage it. Or all of a sudden you become quote, unquote, a. Or out of a sudden you become moody, right? Or maybe financially of certain ceilings. And every time when you hit a certain amount of money, you kind of start to act funny, or you start to feel insecure or something happens, you know, maybe you get sick. That is because you have unconscious ancestral agreements. Now, what does that mean? So you can Google, of course, family tree. And what you're going to see is that you can actually create a tree, a family tree with your ancestors, with your great parents, your great grandparents. And you can actually track patterns. So you can see how did that deal with love, who loved who more, who got abandoned for love because of what right? Or money? What was the relationship there? And you can oftentimes see that there is agreements. There's lots of agreements around poverty or around being single, around being, you know, I had like one wonderful woman in My program, by the way, she's now engaged and she really, they had this agreement to be invisible, right? It's not safe to be seen. So also looking at that as well, right? Because, well, how confident could you possibly be if you don't feel safe to be seen? Think about it this way, right? When you don't feel safe to be seen, do. Do you speak up? Most likely not. Do you express your desire or do you express your opinion? Or maybe do you step into the spotlight? Maybe that's necessary if you want to follow your purpose, your passion, your path, right? So maybe take something to step into that leadership, right? But you can't do that because you don't feel safe to be seen or you're afraid to get smushed or you're afraid maybe you had a narcissistic parent, right? And you actually learn, oh, if I'm being seen, that means it's not safe because I'm going to be made fun of, I'm going to be littleed, I'm going to be potentially even punished or attacked. This happens all the time. So you're definitely not alone with that. So now how can you actually break through those unconscious ancestral agreements, right? And one is by actually understanding, wait a minute, this belief, right? This life, this decision never belonged to me. This pain never belonged to me. You know, maybe you decided I'm going to struggle too, because my mom struggled, my dad struggled. So then I'm not certainly going to be all happy and self expressed, right? Like, of course I'm not going to make them look bad. And so therefore I'm going to be poor too, right? Well, I'm going to, you know, struggle in life too. And I'm also not going to have a happy marriage. You know what? I'm also going to have health challenges because in my ancestry, everyone had health challenges. So I'm not going to be the one who's like super healthy and is full of vitality and full of life, right? I'm also going to make sure that I also have my challenges as well, right? So really say go. This never belonged to me. This was never mine to carry. So repeat after me, this does not belong to me. And you hand it over to your mom, to your dad or this was never mine to carry, right? Because of course, talking about potentially our ancestors coming out of war, all those things like traumatic experiences, but again, this was never mine to carry, right? Yes. This was you as a carrot. Thank you so much for going through this so I don't have to go through this so I have the life that I have and I can actually live the life to the fullest. So try that out and let me know now if you have challenges with that. Take our free magnetize your mind quiz to get that loving long term relationship that you desire fast. The link is in the description below. And of course you learn more about like how to step into your true self confidence which by the way is intrinsic. Or you can simply also hop on over to magnetize your man number three, heal your guilt shields. Now what are guilt yields when we experience guilt which also means we feel like we did something wrong, right? So maybe you stole the cookie from the cookie jar. Maybe you are a troublemaker when you were little and. But then your, maybe your guilt shield was denial, right? I don't, I don't have a cookie. I didn't, I didn't hide, I didn't write. Why? Because. Because it wasn't safe and it was obviously very uncomfortable to admit I did something wrong. And I kind of knew I was not supposed to take the cookie from the cookie jar. But I was so motivated internally I wanted to have this cookie that I went for it, right? Like said usually no, no kid ever, right. And so you know what happens is we have three guilt shields, right? So either you deny like I just talked about it or you completely collapse and you over apologize, right? Oh my God, I'm the most horrible person. You're so right. I did the wrong thing. Oh my God. Right. And then unfortunately if you do that, for example, then a lot of times you become found food for a narcissist or a man or a person in general, right. I also have clients tell me all the time how like friends or co workers, right. Just have sort of this narcissistic traits of controlling traits as well. So you are going to attract that, right? Because they can sense that you have that insecurity inside of yourself and that you actually respond to guilt tripping attempts, right? So if they can gaslight you and, and you are going to be manipulated and you are going to eat out of their hand and do whatever they want you to do, right? And then of course guilt shield number three is attack. So somebody says, well you didn't do a great job today, right? Did you call this person or did you, you know, whatever it is and you say, well what about you? You're also not Mr. Perfect or Mrs. Perfect or you know, that's attacking now in all three cases actually there's an insecurity inside, right? Actually there's an basically what's like, you know, you kind of like try to get away with it basically, right? You're covering up the guilt. The guilt, but other people can feel it. You actually lose connection. You also lose trust. And the reason why that's important is because that's why you attract people into your life. Men, of course, as well as people that are not trustworthy, right? So either they're outright dishonest or maybe that collapse into their victim mentality. And what that looks like, for example, when somebody collapses into their victim, it's like, oh, I. I don't know what to do better, you know, I'm doing the best I can. And you know, when I didn't grow up in a great household and you know what I mean, I don't have a college degree, right? And you know, I already have my, you know, the week is so tough and I have five kids. And, you know, so that's. They're constantly sort of the victim, right? It's always, you know, that didn't do anything wrong. And of course that leads to further distrust and disconnection. And then because of that, you can either attract outright narcissistic behavior or, or also emotionally unavailable and deflective behavior from other people, which of course is the very, very frustrating, right? Because you want those people to own up to what they did, right? Even at work or family or friends or whichever case it will be. So what I recommend instead is actually saying, okay, so let's say I feel guilty, right? Let's say somebody would say something, I feel you. I'm like, oh, I did something wrong. And I just some the situation, something with my husband where I realized, oh, I did something wrong, I messed up, right? And it's like, okay, I'm breathing into, okay, I'm safe, right? I'm still like, you're still safe. Everyone makes mistakes, right? And it's really saying, you know what? I apologize. I'm like, oh my God, I'm the worst, right? Like, I own it. I apologize. Acknowledge that there was that I made a mistake, I made a mistake. I underestimated something, overestimated something, didn't check something, whatever the case may be, right? Because remember, girlfriend, we delete, we distort, and we generalize reality based on our unconscious expectations. So there's always going to be something that gets in a way of you showing up perfectly and always present and always having it all together. Number two, this will make you so confident when you stop this dysfunctional pattern of codependency. And look, I'm the First one to admit here that I was fully in that of course with my mom, who had highly narcissistic traits, right? As well as with my dad as well. And a codependent tendencies really starts when you don't get your needs met as a child because you think, okay, if I make mom happy, if I make dad happy, then I'll be happy, right? But if they're not happy, then I can't be happy. This is also the case, by the way, if you have like alcoholic parents, I can in general, any kind of like substance abuse parents, right? Codependency, entanglement, enmeshment, right? It's just really unhealthy. And then it goes also into you having sort of this more anxiously attached nervous system, right? And the reason why is because you like it feels, you almost don't give yourself that right? To feel self confident, to feel happy, to feel alive, right? To feel self expressed, to feel successful if the other person is not right. And that's of course because you're too other focus. So again, in order to feel that codependency invite you to focus on your self, right? And so how do I say that? You know, women come to me and say, well, auntie, but I'm, I am naturally loving, I'm naturally people, please. I'm naturally a caretaker, you know, I'm naturally. Okay, that's all great, girlfriend. What I'm saying here is do the same for yourself as well, right? You can still be loving and compassionate and people pleasing, but just be as self pleasing to yourself as well, right? Because otherwise it's not authentic. Automatically if you don't do it to yourself, then you have to do it because you have to hope that you get. Does that make sense? If you don't give to yourself, somebody has to give to you. And so that's how a lot of women start to break through the codependent pattern because they realize, wait a minute, that's not even authentic. I'm manipulating a person into liking me or into, you know, like approving of me or into respecting me, right? But I'm actually not being outright honest with them. I'm not making an outright honest request. So interdependence is the new word for you. You can write that down, interdependence, right? Where you focus on yourself, you also focus on the other person too, of course. However, you also check in with yourself, how do I feel? How does my body feel? Do I agree with this person, with this co worker, obviously with the man, you know, do I Agree with my sibling or my family member, you know, or my neighbor or what, whatever the case may be, right? And really understanding that there's a boundary, right. Just because somebody's saying something, you don't have to take that, you don't have to accept that. Right. And how do you do that? I'm glad you asked. Number one, make the unknown your friends, right? Because a lot of people, the reason why they can't break through the codependence and what I can't break through the guilt is because they're afraid of the unknown, known, the uncertainty. But I don't know, what does the other person think? What is the other person going to do next? When is the other shoe going to drop? When is the bomb going to explode? Like if you were, imagine you walk on eggshells or you walk on a minefield, right? And so you have this unconscious expectation all the time something bad is going to happen. But that means you don't make the unknown your friend, you make the unknown your enemy. Because you're saying as soon as, as the unknown happens, which has to happen, right? If you create a new trait, right? A new behavioral pattern and new anything, right? Like somewhere you move somewhere new, you start a new relationship, you start a new job, is there going to be an unknown aspect to it? 100% you don't know your new team, right? Or you don't need a new territory. Let's say you own your own company or maybe you're a lawyer and you have like a new kind of a lawsuit or you know, you started to date a new kind of man because you were always dating emotionally unavailable men. All of a sudden you're dating a man who's totally secure. That's the unknown. And then what happens is your nervous system gets short term dysregulated. Now what does that mean? That means you feel like a little anxious, a little nervous, little imbalance, a little off balance, could be a little insecure too, right? But it doesn't mean that that's a be all after all to run away from that. But to actually say, oh, okay, that makes sense. Because this, I'm learning to stabilize myself at that new level, you know, at that new ceiling, right? When I break through a glass ceiling, let's say, you know, financially speaking or in a career, work speaking, like, of course it's going to be new territory for me because now I have to lay out a new path, right now I need to lay out a new map for myself. So I hope that makes sense for you. Make the unknown your friend. And let me know below how this will help you to become more confident and to express yourself and set the boundaries and love yourself. Lots of love, ladies. And I will talk to you in the next video. Take care. Bye bye.