What He's Thinking When He Wants To BREAK UP

What he's thinking when he wants to break up, if he's pulling away or thinking of ending things, it's not just about you. It's also about what's happening inside of him. And most women completely miss this. Hi, I'm Brody Boyd with Magnetize youe man. And for over 20 years, combined with my wife, Antia, we've been helping thousands of successful women all, all over the world to get a loving, long term and committed relationship with a man they want right away. So without further ado, let's dive right in. So let's begin with what triggers a man to want to break up with you? Well, oftentimes it starts with a man reaching his emotional capacity. Now remember, the masculine and men typically have a lower threshold for emotions and emotional capacity to deal with things in their life. And if he has several things that are demanding his emotions, demanding his emotional presence, and of course, depending on what kind of man you're dealing with and his strength in his own masculine capacity, he's going to get to a threshold, likely where he starts to feel that it's becoming too much. He can't handle it. It's overwhelming him, literally like a flood, like a tidal wave coming over him. He's feeling like he's drowning, he's in the water after the wave has crashed on him and he's tumbling around, getting hit and banged up by the surfboard and the rocks and potentially because of other things happening in his life. Now, of course, this can be caused by your relationship together and things that may be going on within your dynamic issues, some trauma, some infidelity perhaps, or other things that have happened, some lies, some challenges, and he's having a hard time dealing with it. And, or he has other things in his life that are pulling at him emotionally, such as family issues, friends, career issues, things with his job or, or his health potentially. So even if his hamster is having an emotional breakdown, this can be affecting him. So you got to be aware potentially that this could be the cause that can lead a man to want to break up. And now what this means is you don't have to fix things for him. You should never be his mommy or his therapist because that's going to be masculine energy and that's going to push him even more into the feminine. But to become aware of what may be going on for him emotionally and to give him time, if this is the case, to, to be in his bear cave, to come back to himself, to recuperate some of his emotional energy, think of it as A tank that's getting filled back up. Give him that space so that when he comes back to you, he can engage with his presence. It may involve giving him some appreciation for a little bit of a shift in energy. Maybe look at things you're grateful for him and in your relationship and sharing some of those things with him rather than bringing up the issues, although you should bring those up still because you don't want to just sweep them under the rug. But give him a shift in energy from you that can allow him to start coming back. Now the other element that can be triggering this is him feeling like he can't win, that he's constantly failing, that he's never good enough for you. The fundamental question that a masculine man has inside of his heart and that every man has deep inside is am I good enough? Can I be of value to those around me and to the world? Do I have what it takes? And if he's feeling that in your relationship he's constantly falling short, he just does not have what it takes to make you happy, to win in your relationship. Then ultimately he's going to start losing his masculine self esteem again. His tank's going to go now the opposite direction. It's going to become empty and he's going to start pulling away. He's going to start feeling that this isn't the right fit. It's not a right fit because he wants to make a woman happy. If he's a healthy man, he wants to make his woman happy and, and if he can't make you happy, then he's going to start questioning why he's here, why is he in the relationship? Maybe you would be happier with somebody else, maybe you should have somebody else and they can maybe win with you, they can maybe make the relationship work because obviously he can't. That could be a big reason. The other potential trigger is a loss of polarity. The feminine energy that once attracted him is replaced by masculine control, criticism, or over functioning. So if you found that your relationship has become depolarized where there's no longer that opposite attraction of masculine feminine energy, then he's going to start feeling that there's no more chemistry, there's no more passion, there's no more love and devotion, potentially, because he may see you now as another friend and at best and at worst as a man or as somebody that he has to avoid because he's afraid of being disrespected or being controlled or being told what to do or like a little child. So you have to watch the polarity dynamic, and make sure that you're not stepping into that role, because why would you want to do all that extra work of being a man's mommy, of paying for things for him, of planning out everything yourself, of investing all the time and the energy yourself while he's just passively waiting and receiving your love and care and devotion? That's the opposite of polarity. That's reverse polarity. You have to switch it back to where you're in the feminine role and you're receiving and he is leading, he is giving to you, which is masculine, and you're able to appreciate him for that. And if he's not stepping into that role, well, that's what we're going to help you with with our advanced training. And that's also the key to unblock him. Stepping into that role, you have to first be in your feminine, because somebody's going to have to step in that role. If there's somebody driving the car and they step out of the car, what's going to happen? The car's not going anywhere until someone steps back in the car. And if you say, hey, I'm not going to drive anymore. I'm tired of this, I'm going to be in my feminine now, well, he either has to step into that role or some other man will and take the steering wheel and drive things forward. Now, three things he might be thinking in relation to this. Number one, I don't feel like myself anymore in this relationship. Number two, no matter what I do, it's just never enough for her. Or number three, I miss the peace and the dynamic that we had before. I really want to get back to that because if we can't, then I don't think this is going to work for me. And again, that just means getting back to the polarity that you once had in the beginning that attracted him to you in the first place. Now, let's talk about what else he may not be saying out loud to you in the relationship, but he's secretly thinking and feeling about. Now, the first one is really painful. And this is where a man still cares about you. He likes you, maybe even he loves you, but he simply doesn't feel that chemistry and that spark anymore. Which again, goes back to a lack of polarity, a lack of that dynamic that once sparked that feeling inside of him. It's gone away. For whatever reason, it can potentially drift. And without the right tools, it can be a hard battle for both people to potentially get back to that place. Now, one key is if he's a broken man or if he's a healthy man. If your man is deeply broken and he's not capable of being a healthy man in a relationship, then he's not going to be able to get there. Potentially he's not going to want to be in his masculine he's looking for a mommy. He's looking for someone to lead him and take care of him because he can't even lead and take care of himself now. Unfortunately, that's a painful dynamic where the only solution over time is to get out. We do teach our 90 day challenge that I'd highly recommend getting. That's going to be the key to to make sure you apply the right principles, the right strategy and the right words with him so that he does get it, he does start coming closer to you and the spark, the devotion, the love comes back. So if you'd like to get that 90 day challenge, as well as our free quiz to recommend to you specifically what to do in your situation, go ahead and click the link in the comments or description below this video. Or you can go to our website magnetizeyourman.com to pick up that powerful resource for you right right now. The second thing he might be thinking is I don't know how to fix this. He may be wanting to fix the relationship just as much as you are, but because he doesn't know how, he doesn't have a clear path on how to do that. He may be shutting down. He may just be writing it off already and saying, this just can't be fixed. It's broken. Sometimes they call it a breakup because it is broken. There's a fundamental issue in how you both interact with each other. You, you might be two very good people, but the dynamic between you both has become toxic because of issues you may both have from wounds from childhood, different relationship traumas that you may have gone through that have caused you to protect yourself or to judge the other person or to operate from a place such as I don't believe a man can ever take care of me or I can't trust a man or the world isn't safe or relationships are dangerous or love is scary. These kind of traumas and limiting beliefs that are caused from these traumas will be a block often in between you being able to have the love that you want, which is starting to formulate ideas such as what if relationships could be simple, fun and easy? What if love were possible for me? What if I can have love and it can be enjoyable and safe and secure and my man can devote to me. Oftentimes, the solution to start getting out of these problems is to start reframing your own mind to believe that it's even possible to have the relationship you desire. Now, the third thing a man might be thinking is, I feel guilty, confused, and like a failure. He may have a lot of shame and guilt going on as well for him with this whole situation because he doesn't feel he has the answers or he doesn't have the abilities, or like I said, he's a deeply wounded man and he feels shame about that. He feels guilt, which is actually compounding this negative downward spiral where things are just getting more toxic and worse in your relationship because you want the attention from him, you want to get things fixed. But the more it seems like you try to get it fixed with him and try to bridge the gap, he's pulling away even more. He's getting more distant because for one, that's a polarity dynamic that's being reversed. But also he may feel like he's afraid of it. He's afraid of confronting the very issue that is driving him to feel guilty and shame his. His inability to fix it. Again, a man needs to know deep down inside, especially the more masculine he is, am I good enough? Am I worthy? Can I fix this? Can I make it happen? Can I win? And if he doesn't know how to do that, if he's stuck in his life or with you. Oftentimes, unfortunately, the default action of a man is to pull away and to shut down. We have tools on how to avoid that and how to cause a man to come closer to you, which is magnetic feminine communication. But you need some advanced training in that. But once you can communicate to him those issues in the right way, you can actually have him coming closer rather than pulling away. Ultimately, for a man to feel deeply connected to a relationship, if he's a healthy man, is. He needs to feel deeply admired, deeply respected, and deeply trusted in the relationship. If he doesn't feel those things because of the brokenness that's happening within himself or within you or within or within the relationship dynamic, it's going to be very hard for him to feel committed to and deeply bonded to that relationship and ultimately to you. So now for our last section, what to do. Instead of chasing him or shutting down, the first key is for you to shift into magnetic feminine polarity. This means to stop fixing and to start feeling more. The masculine energy that men and women can have is all about trying to lead, trying to solve problems, trying to invest into something giving, giving, giving, nurturing, protecting and providing. That is masculine energy. And if that's you, if you're in that mode in your relationship and with him, that is going to cause long term issues because it will kill the polarity and it will kill the attraction. So you have to shift into magnetic feminine polarity, which is all about the opposite of those things. Receiving openness, vulnerability, following his lead, letting him lead, showing him that trust and respect. Sometimes you have to show it first in order to get the love and devotion coming to you. But all of these things accumulate in an energetic capacity where a man starts to feel you, he starts to feel you as a woman. And he starts to feel drawn, magnetized and devoted to you because of your heart continuing to open up like a radiant flower that is now attracting the honeybee. The next big key is to use magnetic feminine communication. This means speaking from your heart, not from your head. Your heart is where your core lives as a woman. This is your feminine energy, the thing that a man desires most from a woman long term. Not her mind, not her body, not even her personality. It's really her heart, the essence of her feminine world. You may even say it's your soul to some extent, capacity, it's a spiritual connection, often. But really your heart is where your feminine energy lives. Those feelings, the changing moods, the emotions. And he wants all of that. He wants the good and the bad. He wants to feel your pleasure and your bliss and your appreciation and your respect and trust of him. And he also even wants to feel sometimes when the storms are coming up, the anxiety, the fear, the uncertainty, because he gets to be the hero. He gets to rescue you and hold those things and hold the container and protect you from the evil in the world. However, he needs to feel that first. And he needs to feel it in a way that's not disrespectful, that's not telling him what to do, that's not blaming or criticizing him. And that's where magnetic feminine communication comes into play. That we teach our clients exactly how to say certain issues, how to say certain questions, desires that you have, needs that you have, how to communicate that in a way that he wants to hear and he feels good about hearing it. It's an advanced principle and it takes a lot of training. But once you get it right, it's like learning how to dance. It's learning a new language. You can eventually start to flow with him in your relationship and everything becomes easier because you know how to quickly open your heart to him, communicate what's going on. And then he's either feeling appreciation from that and love and connection, or he's stepping in to want to help you be your hero, take that masculine role and solve the issue or solve the problem that may be getting in the way of your heart fully expressing itself. And the last key is sometimes you need to let him feel the space and the possibility of what it would be like to truly lose you without threats or manipulation. Now this is the fear of missing out sometimes. Unfortunately, we don't truly value something until we lose it or until we're really realizing that we could lose that thing that we used to have. Now this was something that happened in my relationship with Antia. It wasn't until I started realizing after about three months of us being together, dating casually, that she was dating other people that I realized I didn't like that I wanted her to just date me. I actually had feelings of love for her. And so it wasn't until I got confronted with the reality that another man could actually take her, another man could claim her, that I started realizing, no, I don't like that. I don't want that to happen. I'm going to claim her. I'm going to step up. And sometimes in a relationship when things get really tough, you need to give them that space. You need to allow him to realize what it's like to not have you around. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean going no contact. It means that you're redirecting the energy back to yourself. You are investing in your self care, like you're doing here, like with getting coaching, like with increasing your education, taking care of your health, your basics in your life to lift yourself up to feel good about yourself without him, without him needing to be in the picture because that naturally creates space for him to start to wonder and start to feel what it's like being back on his own. And then of course, you can use magnetic feminine communication and you can have a magnetic feminine conversation with him, but you want to balance that out with the space with you committing to the process and detaching from the outcome and allowing him to feel that longing on his own, making his own choice with, without manipulation, without forcing it on him or telling him what to do or giving him an ultimatum where he then comes back to you naturally with this, your new energy will likely say, I love you, but I love myself too much to abandon my own heart. I'm open, but I'm not chasing, I'm inviting. I hope this was helpful. Take our free quiz again. If you'd like to take this to the next level with your specific man, and I look forward to talking to you again very soon in our next powerful training. Bye. Bye.