Why He Acts Interested, Then Disappears...

Why he acts interested, then disappears. In this video, you will discover the hidden reasons. By the way, so many women come to me with that particular challenge. The hidden reasons why this man acts so interested, is so invested, and you get invested and then he disappears. And it will really help you to understand why this is happening. So for one, you can avoid it, or you can attract a man into your life who continues to pursues you, protects you, and of course, cherishes you. So let's go ahead and dive right in. Hey, I'm Angie Boyd with Magnetize youe Man. And together with my husband, Brody Boyd, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world for the last 20 years combined together to get a committed, connected and long term relationship that they desire fast. So let's go ahead and dive right in. Number seven is he has an intimacy threshold. So what essentially is a threshold? A threshold is really a point, right, of friction, of resistance, right? You could also call it a ceiling, you know, for example, in, you know, the career world, as, for example, money ceilings, career ceilings. So you could call this a threshold. So what happens when we hit a threshold? Our behavior changes because we unconsciously no longer feel safe, right? So the threshold is holding us in that container of safety. In other words, you're in your comfort zone. So if a man acts interested and then disappears, it could be because he hit an intimacy, an emotional intimacy threshold, a physical intimacy closeness threshold as well. So what? That means we have a threshold programmed inside of us. So for some of us, it may be, you know, when I talk with someone for three nights in a row, then I hit my threshold and I need space. Or when I go on vacation with a woman for like a weekend, then I need space, right? When I share something vulnerable, particularly emotionally deep, with a woman, then I need space. Which, by the way, the thresholds usually lead to men needing the space. So there's nothing wrong with you. It just means he has a smaller capacity for emotional intimacy than you do. And because of that, again, you feel much safer being in an emotional intimacy. And he is not, right? And so what's really important in that moment is to not make yourself wrong and to also not to try to change him, but rather give him the space, right? So this is true in some cases, not others. So we of course have to learn in this video how to make the distinctions, which is the case, and how to act instead. Right? Now, one thing you want to learn, especially here and magnetize your man, right? Is that whatever you attract is the direct reflection of Yourself. So you can ask yourself, oh wait a minute, wait, where do I have a smaller emotional capacity than I actually thought? So for example, you know, the quality of men you attract into your life is directly proportional to the relationship you have with yourself. So the level of emotional availability of a man is then reflected back to you to the same degree that you feel emotionally vulnerable with yourself. So it could be that you have one emotion inside of yourself that you judge and therefore you're not emotionally available on all levels to yourself. So maybe it's sadness, maybe it's anger, maybe you don't want to feel the grief, you don't want to feel sad. And I hear this a lot for my wonderful women who are in the program because they say, well, I don't want to be a burden, you know, I don't want to be inappropriate. I mean it's been like the third date and I'm crying, you know, I mean that's like a little inappropriate, right? And I don't want to like overwhelm the man because he already had a stressful week or he's already dealing with his ex wife or his teenage daughter son is already challenging enough. You fill in a blank, right? And so then you start to manage your authentic emotional expression, right? And what you want to do instead is actually focusing on how can I be as authentic, real associated, connected, self expressed as I possibly can in any given moment? Because you know what, if a man disappears, then it's not because we're not authentic, it's not because you are not true to yourself, because then you have the deepest regret, right? But it's because of his own lower emotional capacity which by the way serves you because he makes space for a man who has that higher emotional capacity to have the deep connected and long term relationship that you desire. Fast number six is he has a parts conflict. What is the parts conflict? So when you study, for example neuro linguistic programming, you learn that there's different parts inside of us, different energies inside of us. For example, we can have a strong inner child that wants to have fun, is playful, it's silly. But then let's say we also have a strong, let's say worker be you get the job done. So you could say, well then you know, how can I be both right? You are already both right. Because if you were just a child then you would be, you know, nothing would happen. You couldn't sustain your life because you would just do whatever you want to do and, and everybody would have to be responsible for you. And you're like why that sounds familiar. That was my ex husband. And so that may be true. And so that may be an example for you what it looks like when you have imbalanced energies inside of yourself. However we're talking here, that you have a past conflict inside of yourself. So for example, on the one hand you want to have the deep connected long term relationship. So, so you could call that maybe the lover, the little girl, you could give it any name you want. And then there's this other part inside of you that puts on the brakes. That's the part inside of you that wants to protect you. It's your guardian, protector. Now because you sent those parts, this parts conflict. By the way, this is unconscious now that I speak to it. You're like, that's actually very true. But when you start a relationship, when you go on a date, when you have a love interest, right, you're usually more connected to the part that wants to have the deep connected long term relationship. But then when you come home, maybe you start to become a little nitpicky. You're like, I don't like how he, what he wears or you know, I don't know if the other shoe is gonna drop. So you start to become like doubtful and crazy critical. And this could be something wrong, right? And the reason why is because there's this fearful part inside of you. So because of that and because it's unexpressed, you unconsciously send mixed messages. So for example, when you go on a date and you have a parts conflict inside of yourself, then there's a part inside of you that wants to communicate. Let's say you share something vulnerable. But then you want to protect yourself from the emotional impact that has on a man and that he could reflect back to you. In other words, if you had a childhood where your parents were punishing you or belittling you or making fun of you, or judging you for your emotional expression, then you unconsciously project that onto the man. And so then what happens is, so you go on a date, you have that past conflict inside of you. So you say something that's vulnerable, you share something that was painful for you, something vulnerable. And then you project onto him that he's going to treat you the way your whatever abusive, neglective, avoidant parent was treating you. And so then because you do that, then you send a mixed message. So one way how you can do that is, let's say you laugh right after she shared something vulnerable. So that is called sending a mixed message. Because on the one hand the man is saying, wait a minute. Yes, I feel actually very sad for that she had to go through this experience. I can very much identify with that, relate to that. But then you have then, oh, she just laughed about it. Wait, so is it not as serious as I thought it was? Or wait, is she laughing about herself? Is she making fun of herself? Should I make fun of her? And so you start to get the man's brain confused. And what the saying goes is, a confused mind says, no. Why? Because the confused mind says, I can't trust the situation. This is uncertainty, and therefore I will remove myself from the situation. So again, as you can already imagine, the solution of courts is to do a part parts integration as of course a longer conversation. Right? But you have to find a way to have both of these parts expressed, acknowledged inside of yourself. And of course, I teach it here at Magnetize youe Men in a more extended way so that you have that deep harmony inside of yourself and you then have that external harmony reflected back to you in, in return. Now, number five is a little bit self explanatory and you may have heard about it before. You're dealing with a dismissive, avoidant attachment style. Now, what happens with a dismissive, avoidant attached man is that he idealizes, idolizes you in the beginning of the, you know, dating, courtship, if you will call it right. Because in the beginning it's not a relationship, it's a reactionship, it's a situationship. And, and you might find a smile on your face hearing that. So the dismissive avoidant attachment style. He idolizes you because you can only fall off the pedestal. And unconsciously he needs a reason to distance himself after a while. This is unconscious, this is not conscious. This dismissive avoidant attachment does not wake up in the morning, say, today I break this woman's heart. Today I'm going to confuse the heck out of this woman, right? Today I'm going to disappoint this woman. Today I'm going to withdraw from this woman. That's not how it works. What he says is, I want this connection, but I'm too scared because I'm going to hit this vulnerability threshold. And so I'm excited in the beginning, right? Like you're my dream woman. Maybe we're getting even physically intimate. Maybe I'm even talking about what it would look like if you were to move to my state or into my home or meet my family.