You'll Push Him Away If You're TOO Nice, Do THIS Instead

Ask for help and allow men to give to you. If you found yourself being the nice girl, or being the doormat, as we sometimes call it, the doormat archetype, and you're not finding that men are devoting themselves to you, or they're wanting to give to you, or they're even attracted to you. One of the powerful antidotes to stop the madness and actually have a man want to be your man and be your hero is to start asking men for help and allowing them to give to you, to be able to be open and receptive, which actually moves you into the feminine energy rather rather than the masculine energy. Because anytime you find yourself trying to be nice to make a man like you, to make him happy, to please him in some way, you are actually in masculine energy. You are giving and providing for him, you are trying to manage him, to make him feel a certain way, to do something that you want him to do, or to change him and have him be who you want him to be in some way, which is all you in your masculine energy rather than the feminine energy, allowing open, receptive energy and allowing your man to actually give to you and try to make you happy and provide for you and chase and pursue you. So one of the keys that can activate that is to start asking for help. Asking men to help you in small ways and in big ways. Whether you're at the grocery store and you want a man to help you get something off the shelf, or you're at your home and your dog is throwing up and you're asking your man if he could help you clean up the. The mess, that could be something that he could be inspired into, want to help you as well. Because if a man truly has care for your heart, he's going to want to make you happy, whatever that may involve. And it doesn't. If it doesn't involve him doing it directly, he's going to get somebody who can help with that, he's going to hire somebody, he's going to figure out a solution to provide for you. So you have to start asking for help. And that's the beginning. That receptivity where you're inspiring the men around you, you're inspiring your man to, to be able to step into his provider role and feel good about investing into you and feel good about investing into the relationship that his life has meaning, that he has a purpose, that he is on a mission, that he's a warrior that gets to achieve an outcome which is you feeling valued, you feeling happy, you feeling loved, and he Feels like he's doing a good job as a man, he gets those points. He feels like he's winning the game because masculine energy is very much based on achievement and accomplishment. One of those things that a man wants to do if he cares about you is knowing that he's making you happy, that you like him, you like his energy, you like what he has to offer and you choose him because of that, but also because of who he is. So it's very important. So I'm Brody Boyd with Magtize youe man and for over 20 years combined with my wife Auntie, we've been helping thousands of successful women all over the world to get a loving, long term and committed relationship with a man they desire. So let's go ahead and continue with this. Things you should do instead of being the nice girl. So number six is to be congruent in your communication. When you're communicating with a man, you want to make sure that your actions, your words, your body language is in alignment. Because that shows that you have self value, that you are okay with being who you authentically are and saying what you authentically feel inside, doing it in the right way. Of course you can do it respectfully, you can do it using magnetic feminine communication. That will teach you. But, but being congruent in what you have to say, what's coming from within yourself, your feminine core and putting that out there. So speaking up, sharing. If you're feeling anxiety with a man or you're feeling anxiety in general, to be able to share that with a man, to be authentic with that and vulnerable with that and to simply be able to share. I'm feeling anxiety when it's coming up or I'm feeling joy if that's coming up or I'm feeling anger if that's coming up. To let a man know those emotions because that is your feminine openness and your feminine radiant heart. But you have to be congruent with that. Now what a lot of people who are will do, who are people pleasers or nice, nice guys or nice gals, nice girls, is they will not match up. Their words will not match up with what their feelings are. So they may feel really anxious with a guy, but then they're putting on a mask of like, oh, it's all good, I'm just a fun girl where just having fun here. Even though inside they're like, does he like me? Or did I say something? Did I offend him? Or did I screw it up? Or they'll do the opposite where they really like A guy, but they are trying to pretend that they don't like a guy, and they're trying to play it cool or play hard to get in some way, rather than being able to share their emotions authentically but in the right way. And this is what a lot of people call playing games or manipulation. And whenever you are trying to manipulate a man, whenever you are trying to play games like that with a man, you're actually in your masculine energy, you're trying to manipulate him, you're trying to control him and lead the relationship in some way, rather than leading yourself, controlling yourself, being congruent within yourself and letting the man come to you, letting him take the lead, letting him chase and pursue, letting him guide the relationship forward so you don't have to take on that burden. He's inspired within himself to do it for you. And maybe he doesn't do it perfectly, but you can share with him and you can communicate with him in the right way that allows him to understand what's actually going on for you, your emotions and change. Because there are no ugly emotions. There are only ugly behaviors that can push a man away or pull him close to you, depending on how you communicate congruently. Now, the fifth thing to do instead is to invest into yourself. You're doing it right now by getting this education, by getting this golden, valuable knowledge that is going to change your love life forever in if you start implementing it. But the process of investing in yourself can involve so many other things as well, other than just education. It can involve getting support, the right support around you, such as community, such as working with a coach, joining a program, joining a course. It can involve making sure you're around people and environments that lift you up rather than pull you down. Environments that are supportive, that are encouraging, that are positive, that as surrounded with success. So if you are struggling in your relationships, if you are single also and you're noticing that you're spending a lot of time around people who are also single or who are also struggling in their relationships, it's probably not going to help you to get the relationship you want. What you want to do instead is surround yourself with communities and environments of people who have happy relationships or who are almost there, who are going through that process, who are working on themselves and in that way, but ideally who also have those results that you want. And then you unconsciously and automatically start to take on their belief systems, their thought patterns, their energy and emotions that'll cause you to be lifted up and create those results for yourself. That old saying you Become like the five people you spend the most time around is very true. It's also the five people you tend to listen to the most. You tend to get the same kind of results in your life. If you're wanting to find like listen to somebody, listen to people who are married, who have kids, if you want kids, who have a happy relationship, whatever that is that you're looking for, make sure you're getting it from the right source and not other single girlfriends who are also struggling, unhappy, miserable, et cetera. Now of course you could also invest into yourself by self care. Making yourself happy, doing activities that you enjoy, exercise, eating well, dressing in a way that makes you feel attractive and beautiful. Getting the right, yeah, getting the right habits implemented in your life. Your sleeping habits, your morning routines, your evening routines, your day work routines, optimizing those, those activities and getting rid of things so that you can feel good, so that you can enjoy your days and you look forward to your days. And that can just involve some planning, some creativity. Again working with a coach or getting training as well can help with structuring your life so that you are investing into your life and you are creating a life that you love so that you're happier, you're more joyous. When you're around a man, he feels good, he feels that emotion and he also feels like he's doing a good job because if you're happy, he must have done something to contribute to that and so he's going to feel like he's winning again potentially when he's around you, when you're also investing in yourself. It wants to be, it needs to be authentic and not something that you're just faking. So that's why it's so important to. It goes back to congruence that you are putting in that extra time. You are putting in that effort to, to do the self care as well and the self investment as well. You're bringing the energy back to yourself, filling up your own cup so that it overfloweth and attracteth the quality man. So if you haven't yet, before we get to the next point, I highly recommend also taking our free Magnetize youe Man quiz to get a loving, long term and committed relationship with a man you want fast by clicking the link in the description or comments below or going to our website magnetizeyourman.com to get this all customized and personalized just for you with our coaching recommendations there too. So next number four, what to do instead of be nice. Which you know, being nice isn't the Worst thing. But it definitely can be a hindrance if it's gone too far and if you are using it more as a sense in a sense of self sacrifice rather than true authentic kindness and authenticity, warmth and openness and generosity, which is your feminine energy. So another big principle here is don't immediately enter a relationship or have sex. Now I hear a lot of women who come to come to me and my wife who have a man that they're interested in, they've been talking with for a little while and the man has said that he's in love potentially, or they're starting to, things are starting to go well and they're just eager to jump into a relationship with him or jump into bed with him. Hopefully not. But it's, it's something to be very careful of. Because if a man is even just getting into a relationship with you so quickly or getting into bed with you so quickly, it speaks to the fact that you may just be using that as a way to please him, even if it doesn't feel good to you. If you're not fully comfortable with having a sex sex with a man yet, or if you're not fully comfortable entering a relationship with a man but you want to do it because you're afraid you'll lose him or you want to make him happy in some way, which again is masculine energy, that can be a big problem. Now the other thing is some women believe that they need to do that in order to have the man come, want to be with them, and that they have, you know, if they don't do it, some other woman's going to do it. That's the belief that a lot of women have. And so they put themselves into the bucket of the other low value women that may also be throwing themselves at him potentially, or they just lower their own value by basically just jumping in. And even if they don't really know this man very well yet, they haven't really spent a lot of time with him, gone through some experiences together, and nor has he really claimed them energetically and emotionally. And that's the most important thing. So if a man hasn't energetically and emotionally invested into you and claimed you with his whole heart and soul and being, then it's too soon. It's too soon to get in a relationship and it's too soon to have sex with him because he hasn't really taken ownership for the relationship. He hasn't really taken ownership for your heart and responsibility for your heart and saying like, this is my woman and I'M going to do whatever is in my power to protect her heart and protect her and provide for her and make her happy and be the man that she needs and be her hero. It's too soon if a man hasn't done that yet. So ideally it's going to take some time, I would say at least, at least, at least a couple months for a relationship and, or for sex and ideally and only if there's exclusivity involved as well. So once the relationship has happened and a man has really claimed you then to have sex, ideally waiting until you're married because that's the ultimate claiming that a man can do to put the ring on it and say, this is my woman. I'm committed, I'm dedicated to making you happy. Then's a good time to have sex. Up until that point, it's very easy to then put yourself into a place where you are now having to negotiate after the fact and you're now in an insecure place of not really having been claimed by a man yet having have given him those most intimate parts of yourself or made yourself exclusive when he hasn't really shown that he's earned that exclusivity. And so it's very important to wait. And that's a way you can show your value to a man and really make a man value without being nice. Because this is more of you setting a boundary with yourself and which is very important to show that self value, that self respect and make a man really see you as a high value queenly woman. The third thing is to submit but don't comply. Now this means that submission is a beautiful thing in a polarized relationship and some people get triggered by that word. But the way I look at it, it's just a word. You could also use the word following or receptivity, femininity. But submission is really like in a dance when a partner is leading, the masculine is leading and the other is following or submitting to his leadership. Following that leadership. Now submission can be really enjoyable for both partners. For a man to be able to lead you and you to just relax and enjoy and receive from him. Now it crosses the line when it becomes too much, when you are actually submitting to his leadership, even though you don't enjoy it, as long as you're enjoying the process, as long as you're enjoying the relationship and it feels good to you, then keep following his lead. Because that's a healthy polarized relationship. Keep enjoying it. And if you don't want to, if it doesn't feel good to you anymore, then you need to step back. You need to set that boundary with yourself. You need to get that space just like in a dance, like no, I'm good. I, I, I think I'm done dancing for now. Because otherwise then you're complying. You're, you're doing something even if it doesn't feel good to you, you're complying with his leadership, you're doing what he wants. And even if it feels like you're going against yourself, you're going against your own judgment, you're doing something that you don't enjoy and that is being nice, that is you trying to please him. And that is going to be a problem because ultimately you're devaluing yourself. And a man is going to feel that a man can sense when a woman isn't really holding her own worth and holding her own value and she's lowering her standards because she's so afraid of losing a man. That's going to be a problem because that's, because to be something energetic a man will feel that'll cause him unconsciously to stop valuing that woman as much. He'll start to see her as a lower value woman, as somebody who's just maybe a friends with benefits or just the nice girl that he's talking to online or just the woman that he's, you know, has spends time with her, a friend, you know, maybe without the benefits, just a friend, but not like a romantic partner, not his woman that he wants to claim and get married to, like wifey material. So you want to avoid compliance, which means using feminine communication and sharing your feelings and sharing what's going on for you with a man when it doesn't feel good for you because just because a man has led you to do something you don't want, or he's told you to go make him a sandwich and you're like, I don't really want to right now, maybe tomorrow, but maybe, maybe you do like that, that's fine. But it's just an example of something, if you don't like it, to have a conversation about that and say what's coming up for you with your feelings. I'm feeling some anxiety or I'm feeling some confusion or uncertainty or some fear, whatever it is that's coming up for you. So you can share those feelings and know and he can understand that it doesn't feel good to you, so he can adjust his request and make a different request or maybe just let it drop for now. It's okay. We don't have to go there. We don't have to do that. Whatever it is he was wanting you to do, whether it's sex or he's leading you on a. He wants to take you on a trip, but it's too soon for you, et cetera, et cetera. There's so many things that a man may want you to do that you're not comfortable with, and you need to be able to speak up and share how that makes you feel and what's going on for you respectfully and vulnerably, which is what we teach our women in our more advanced courses with magnetic feminine communication, how to have these conversations. We'll even script it out for you. Exactly what to do to save your relationship or to make him really value you in a deep way. But you don't want to comply because that's just going to lead to him not really valuing you or the relationship very much. Number two is to embrace what makes you unique. So instead of trying to put on a mask of being who you think he wants you to be, like, I'm just going to please him. I'm just going to pretend to be this perfect woman. I'm trying to make myself this perfect woman. That's masculine energy. That's you trying to control his perception of you. That's still. You're trying to control things. You're not. You still haven't released. You still haven't let go of this. This. The steering wheel. You're still trying to drive the car, even though he's trying to grab the handle and he's like, hey, I can drive us. Like, I can lead us forward. And you're like, no, I still. I still want to. I still want to drive. Because I'm not. I'm not quite sure yet. I'm not quite ready yet. It's like, okay, well, then why am I here? Why am I needed? But so as long as you're trying to please a man, you're putting that mask on, you're confusing him, and you're making him not really know who you really are, for one. But also, I believe men can sense that as well. When you're putting on a mask, you're putting on the pleasing energy to try to make him happy, even though you have a lot of other things inside of you that you are kind of holding back and that you're masking over. And so one cure for that is to embrace your uniqueness and actually reframe it within yourself. That your uniqueness is what makes you beautiful, your uniqueness is what draws a man to you. Some might even say your weirdness or your craziness or your freak. Freakiness. The freak show. Let the freak show come out. Well, it's really about that, that which makes you different than other people. So when you can find those aspects within yourself, because it's probably actually pretty hard to find those things about you that are, that are authentically unique. But if you dig, you can find those unique desires you have, those unique interests, you have, those unique mannerisms, ways of being, body language, unique style of dress that you can embrace. And it's also powerful with what we teach you. We're teaching you how to connect to your mat. Your feminine core. Because every woman has a feminine core deep inside. And if you can really tap into that, there's unique aspects about that which you can bring out as well. Sometimes we call it the little girl energy within yourself or the, the childlike playful energy within yourself that comes out that is just, you know, how you were when you were on the playground, just, just enjoying laughing, goofing around, teasing and being, yeah, goofy is a big part of it. Like I see that with my, my younger daughter. Like this goofiness comes out and it can be so endearing because it's what makes you different than just when the normal people that we interact with in our daily life, you know, the people at the bank, the people at the grocery store. So there's a lot of power in embracing your unique energy and letting it shine out and believing that it is attractive. Now bringing out your uniqueness, you can find those unique feminine essences within yourself, that unique feminine thumbprint that you can bring out in your relationship. And you could also share it respectfully. So you can still be unique without having to tell a man what to do or being his mommy or trying to manipulate him some way and get an outcome from your uniqueness, but just bringing out that uniqueness authentically and from your feminine core so that he really receives it and doesn't get combative or defensive or pulls away, but actually comes closer because you're being unique while also being open and vulnerable, which is vulnerability, authenticity. So it's revealing what's going on in your authentic heart. Now the number one thing to do instead of being nice girl is to increase your feminine self worth. We talked about this already, but it's believing that you are worthy. And there's many activities that go into being a worthy woman. So a worthy woman believes that her heart is valuable and that her feminine energy is valuable. That she is valuable, that she is worth having a man want to do things for her, to provide for her, to ask for help, to have a man want to devote himself to her and commit to her. So a lot of increasing your feminine self worth starts with your thoughts and your beliefs that you are a worthy woman in all these different ways. That it's simple, fun and easy to have a man devote himself to you. That it's simple, fun and easy to to have a man give to you and want to provide to you and want to make you happy and to fall in love with you. And that it's also just the usual, why wouldn't a man want to give to you? It's just your new normal. Of course men want to devote themselves to you. Of course high quality men are attracted and interested in you because you are a worthy woman. You are a valuable woman. You're amazing. So starting to shift those beliefs and those mindsets then allows you to change your behavior, to actually be that self worth and worthy woman. To actually be. To actually be that high self worth woman. So to ask for help, to put yourself out there, to open up your heart and be vulnerable and share what's going on, for you to allow a man in, in that way to trust and respect him, it actually shows that you are worthy. Because you believe that a man wants to take care of you. You believe that you're worth being taken care of. And it's a big shift for a lot of women because they've been trained their whole lives that it's scary to put themselves out there or it's scary to be vulnerable or it's scary to ask a man for help or to trust or rely on a man because they may have been hurt before or they may have gotten negative messages from their parents or from society or other relationships that they witness where they feel like they make they can get hurt again. And a worthy woman, she believes, yes, I could get hurt again. And yes, I could also be helped again, Yes, I could also be loved again. That it's worth taking that risk because love is available to me, that I can have, that I can have an amazing quality relationship. And it's worth opening up to that and being available to that. And I'm not gonna hold back out of fear any longer. I'm going to be vulnerable. I'm gonna put myself out of my comfort zone and trust that men will want to help me, that men will be respectful and they will protect my heart. And you can still stay aware. And you know that old Saying trust but verify. You can still trust a man, but notice if he is not taking care of your heart over time. Which is why we have our magnetic feminine 90 day challenge. Because sometimes it takes some time for a man to adjust to you being in your true feminine energy and being the queen and not just the nice girl or the doormat and for him to start valuing you more and respecting you more and loving and adoring you more. It does take some time for him to shift into that sometimes, especially if he's been more in his feminine because you've been wearing the mask or you've been wearing the armor and being more in your masculine energy up until this point. But believing these thoughts and actually writing down for yourself all the reasons why you are a worthy woman and why the world is safe and men do want to help you and maybe examples you've had of that in the past of men being your heroes and believing the best in men and seeing the best in men, those are all ways that you start to increase your worth. And you have men also unconsciously start to believe that you are worthy as well through those shifts in your your thoughts and your actions. So it's very important to start believing that you are a high worth woman and using what we're teaching you and being part of the community and believing that and starting to continue to use these principles. Because after you actually practice this and you started to ask maybe three men today, ask three men for help today, or ask for, ask four men if they can do something for you or for their opinion or for their advice on something. Three or four men, I recommend that as a great practice because once you actually do that, you start to witness in your own life the results of that and you start to see, hopefully men will start to step up. Now. Some men are deeply damaged and they're just not going to do it no matter what because there's a percentage of men that just aren't capable of being in their healthy masculine, but a percentage of men will. And you'll start to believe and train your system that that's possible and you'll start to attract more and more men who want to do that and be that way for you. So it's a very powerful process. So much love. Hope this was helpful today. You are a worthy woman. You're no longer the nice girl, you're the queen. Keep practicing this. Let me know your comments or questions below and I will talk to you again very soon. Bye bye.