How Better Communication Builds Trust, Influence, and Revenue

So, you may have the right product. You may have the experience. You may even have the best solution in your marketplace. But none of that matters if people don't understand why they should care. Every day, strong businesses lose customers. They lose— leaders lose influence and good ideas die quietly in meeting rooms. Not because the idea was wrong but because the message was unclear Overloaded, or completely forgettable. And the downside is we tend to blame marketing. We blame the economy. We blame short attention spans. Sometimes, the real problem is really much closer to home. And that's what we're talking about today on Marc Haine Live. Welcome to this episode of Marc Haine Live. Of course, this is where small business owners and entrepreneurs pick up some core skill sets to create the show-stopping, jaw-dropping experience that your customers and your employees deserve. I am your host, Customer and Employee Experience Strategist Marc Haine. And I'm so glad you're here with me because my guest today is Robert Kennedy III, known as RK3. He's a communication and storytelling strategist who helps leaders turn conversations into connections and connections into results. Today, we are going to be exploring how the stories you tell, the words you choose, and the way you show up can either build trust and move people forward or quietly cost your business opportunities, alignment, and revenue. My one request is to please make sure that you subscribe to this podcast. That'll get you notifications when I bring you fresh new content each and every week. And it'll help support this channel, which I've been building since 2000.

2002.

And well, for a long time. It's been actually through COVID, March of COVID March of 2020. And so, we've been going for 6 years, 312 episodes. So, I'd appreciate seeing people subscribe. It knows that I'm on the right track and making a difference for you. Imagine sitting across from a potential customer, somebody who desperately needs what you have to offer. You know perfectly well that you can help them. You have the knowledge. You have the experience. And you have proven results. You begin explaining your process, your services, your features, your methodology. You go into your background and possibly the historical development of your industry going back to, well, the invention of fire. You finish speaking. The client smiles politely and says, That sounds really interesting. Let me think about it. And then, he goes directly into the Witness Protection Agency. And that brings me to our Question of the Day. So, how many opportunities could your business be losing because customers, employees, or even your partners don't clearly understand your value? They don't understand your expectations or what you need them to do next. I'd love to know what your experience is. Why don't you go ahead and share the link to this episode on your favorite social media platform? Hashtag it #ExperienceLeadership. Put your comments down and be part of this conversation. I look forward to seeing what you post out there. As I mentioned, today's guest believes that your voice is one of the most powerful and the most underused assets in your business. Robert Kennedy III, better known as RK3, is a keynote speaker, communication strategist, and the founder of Kinetic Communications. Through his keynotes, workshops, and coaching, RK3 teaches practical storytelling and communication strategies that help people move beyond simple sharing and simply sharing information and begin creating genuine influence. He is the author of several books including Finding Your Voice: Ways To Know You Were Meant to Lead and 28 Days to a New Me. His upcoming book, The Language of Strategy, explores phrases leaders can use to increase their influence. Robert, welcome to the show. It's so great to have you. Somehow, we lost your sound. Oh, hold on a second. Maybe that's my fault. I blew your opportunity. That was my fault completely. I know. With the The confetti and everything.

I had confetti. I had people crossing the screen.

Yeah, there you go.

Yeah, you know.

Thank you for playing with us and thank you for being so playful. So Robert, let's start off a little bit about— could you tell us a little bit about who your clients are and what you do for them?

My clients are mainly in the real estate industry these days. We talk to a lot of real estate agents and brokers. And we share with them, teach them, or equip them how to tell their stories on stage and on video so that they can attract their ideal audience and ultimately generate more income.

I love that. And I see that more times than not when I speak with small business owners, they often believe that they have a sales, marketing, or visibility problem. Like they're always blaming something else. Why do you think that the real problem isn't necessarily necessarily all that, but it's more all about around their communication.

Well, we have had to sell throughout history, right? And a lot of times when people aren't selling, they blame the market. That's the first thing that they blame. They blame the economy. They blame— they say the market is saturated. There are all sorts of things. And back in the day when it was just the radio, people blamed something. When it was TV and the radio, people blame something. When the internet came about, it was the internet, TV, and radio. They blamed something. When social media came about, it was— so there's always something to blame. But what is it if you go back to the beginning, if you go back to the core of it? What is it that grabs people's attention and causes them to say yes? The ultimate answer for that is connection.

Yeah. And at the same token, I, you know, we do a lot of shows around how industry has changed. A lot of it used to be highly transactional. And I remember having sponsors within associations who would only be sponsors because their best clients was part of the board. And so, this like, oh, okay, we better sponsor that. And it was all about kind of being very transactional. But now, we're very relational. Now, it's all about building that. We hear it time and time again, the know, like, and trust factor. So, when businesses are kind of thinking about this idea of communication, what does unclear communication actually look like or sound like in everyday business conversations?

Well, everyday business conversations, if you want to sound unclear or if you want to drive people away, immediately dive into the product. Immediately dive into the statistics and the data. Immediately dive into the features of the product. If I'm selling hair stuff, And I immediately say, you know what? Yes, I have this hair product right away. You should buy it. It's— I sell brown hair and black hair and blonde hair. And I've got hair. It's 3 inches long, 5 inches long. Here you go. Would you like to buy some? If I immediately jump into that, that drives most people away. Part of the reason for that is because we've got so many different options. There's so much— you scroll your social media, there's so much to distract you. You've got so many different opportunities. So people aren't looking for a product. People are looking for connection. They're looking for a vibe. And yeah, if there's a problem that they happen to have in their space and they remember that there was a connection with someone, then they turn to that. Or if they have a problem and they're scrolling and they see, my goodness, that person is getting my attention and I vibe with that, then yeah, it's, it's so, it's, as you talked about, it's a little bit more relational. And more than just relationship, because relationships can take a while to form, right?

Mm-hmm.

It's more than just relationships. It's about connection. Are they saying something? Are they doing something? Are they showing something that immediately, number one, gets my attention? When they get my attention, I give them permission to have my attention for just a little bit longer. And they've got to connect with a feeling that I'm feeling or They've got to let me know that they understand the feeling that I'm feeling, either through their expertise or their experience, but they've got to ask a question. And that's why in social media, especially, you start with a hook. What is that thing that calls out who we're talking to and what they're feeling and what the experience is so that they can now ears perk up, radar, and now I'm listening to you.

It's interesting because, you know, I know lots of entrepreneurs and they put out all sorts of messaging for sales and all this sort of stuff. And when I've told them kind of some of what we're discussing today, they look at me and go, but I just want to let them know that my piece is on sale. Are there any warning signs that a company's message is not landing with customers? Like what's the test? What's the litmus test for it?

It's attention. Are they coming back? Are they coming back with regularity? We've got all sorts of evaluation and assessment and measurement tools And metrics these days. You, you look at your email list, right? Um, you have 1,000 people on your email list. How many of them are opening it up repeatedly? How many of them are clicking on links in your email repeatedly? If you are 1%, 2%, then okay, yeah, I've, I've got to tweak my message somehow, right? If you are in the 25, 30, 35% Okay. Yeah, you're doing pretty decent. That's about industry average. If you are in the 40%, 50%, they're opening, they're clicking. Whoa. Okay. Yes, you are doing well. Nobody's going to get 100% open rate and email clicking because people are super busy. And, you know, time— their times differ. But you've got evaluative evaluation tools. Even on YouTube, we're going to YouTube right now, right?

Yeah.

If you go into your analytics and you're seeing how long people are watching, or you look at all of your episodes and you say, wait a minute, we had 50 people watching that episode, but only 2 people watching that episode. What were we talking about in that 50-person episode? Who was my guest? What did we do? What did we say?

Mm-hmm.

So that's where we, we find out more about the connection. We can break that down and we can We can framework that and structure that all day.

For some of the small businesses, the minute you said email list, they probably want, what? You know, like they don't have an email list. They come into work every day. They just do their thing. They hand out coupons in the local small town newspaper. And they just come in every day just trying to do the best they can. Um, does that mean that they're missing something as far as being able to analyze bounce back and value propositions and that sort of thing?

Absolutely. I mean, it's, and it's not a new thing because back in the day before email lists came out, when you went to your mailbox, you saw postcards, you saw mailers, you saw the, the Penny Saver, the newspapers, and what was inside of the Penny Saver? Yeah. You saw. these little boxes with products that were being sold, but you also saw neighborhood businesses, right? The landscaper, the, the, the plumber, everybody's advertising their, their stuff. And so that was how they got in touch with people. Now, we don't have as much that happening with, with mail, but you communicate with people, or we've communicated people for at least the last— what, what, gosh, what year is it? For at least the last 30 years. Yeah. For at least the last 30 years via, via email. Right. That is the one constant.

And social media and everything else. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Social media has come, but the constant, the constant for, for the last 30 plus years since the advent of the internet has, has been email.

Yeah.

That's been the thing that everybody wakes up and opens up. That's the, so do you have a space where they, especially if you've got a brick and mortar, building, right? You, you're probably operating from 10 to 6 or something of that nature. They're not going to be in your store from 10 to 6. Is there another time? Is there something else that you can use to share a message with them or to speak to them, to let them know what's going on?

Right.

Email does that. So if you are not collecting emails, if you are not, uh, trading an email for a product or something of value, if you're not using lead magnet strategy to increase your people, because there's attrition, nobody's gonna stay on anybody's email list forever and ever.

Mm-hmm.

Right? If you've got 500 today, if you do nothing, you'll probably have 495 tomorrow.

Right.

So what do you do to fill in that extra 5 and grow to 600 and grow to 700? You've gotta have something where there is a value transaction taking place. A connection transaction taking place so that people can see who you are and learn about how you can help solve their problems.

But again, part of that is we have to do that very strategically. And to your point, when people are talking about features and benefits, do you think the feature-benefit conversation happens more out of fear because they think it's just so important just to get it all out of there rather than You know, being confident in what we're offering and knowing that what we're doing, our stories that we're going to tell about the products or how it's reflected in the marketplace is going to do its work. Is there a fear behind that?

Yeah. I mean, it's fear slash competition. We've been taught or socialized to prove that we're better than the other person, right? And we prove that we're better than the other person because We have better sneakers. We have better sales. We have better glasses. We've got better jackets. We've got better stuff. We've got better equipment. And that's what we've been socialized to do. Is that the thing that gets people's attention always? Sometimes it does. But for long term, most people want to be connected with. And once you connect with them, they tend to stay around, right? So if I think about myself as a, as a, as a home, as somebody who has a house, something goes wrong with the house, a plumber comes. The plumber comes and he fixes my, my, my sink. Doesn't say anything to me. He leaves. Okay. If the problem is fixed, I'm pretty, pretty cool. But let's say that one day I called the plumbing company and they send me A plumber, and the plumber, that new plumber comes in, he fixes. But while he's fixing it, he's talking to me and, and we're talking and we're having a good time. He's sharing stories. He's like, listen, I got into plumbing because of this and such and such. And he's, he's, I've got 3 kids. My last child just left for college. And I'm like, yay, I've got 3 kids too. And so now we're, we're, we're connecting.

Mm-hmm.

Which plumber, if I'm given the opportunity to choose a plumber, which plumber am I gonna invite back? I'm going to invite back the one that I had connection with.

So, why is it then that so many leaders hide behind their jargon, their complicated language, their fancy-dancy brochures? What's going on there? I mean, because what you're saying is self-evident.

Yeah.

But what it is, so it's like I sang. Well, I still sing sometimes. But when I would lead choirs, I don't know if you've had the opportunity to be in a choir or to sing, but if you are being instructed, a lot of times there is, there's an exercise or there are exercises that we do when we warm up. And I tell people to breathe.

Yes.

Right? So we walk around and we breathe normally every day.

Yep.

But the moment I tell you breathe, breathe in, you do it wrong. People go, right? You don't walk around each day going, no, no. But the moment I tell you breathe in, you're like, Okay. And, and so in a, in a singing environment, we're like, why are you doing that? You breathe normally all the time. I just want you to take an intentional breath at this point. And it's the same with leaders. It's the same with business owners. The moment I say, hey, market, connect, give information, share, you start saying, okay, let me do it this way. But if you were sitting at home at Thanksgiving, If you were sitting in a room, you wouldn't start saying a product. You would start sharing a story. You would start sharing information. Oh, this happened to me last week, or I was on my way here and I stopped at the stoplight and I saw a dog walk across the street and it had no leash and no owner. I was like, what's going on? So you're sharing information.

Mm-hmm.

You're sharing story. You're creating connection. You're sharing experiences. And we do that naturally. But the moment we're in a business and we say, oh, you've got a market. Okay. Yep. Let me tell you about the product. Let me tell you about the feature. Let me tell you about this here bottle. Got a gray cap. It's got, you know, but I'm, I'm not focusing on the fact that I'm thirsty. I'm not focusing on the fact that you've experienced thirst and you might know what thirst is like.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Which of those is better? Me telling you about the bottle or the thirst?

Yeah, it's so interesting because I think we lose that because we're being— well, part of it I think is the Industrial Age kind of mindset of get out there and sell, sell, sell. It's interesting. I stepped into a food supplier business, a massive one, multinational. And I walked into the— and it was the first time I actually got to see behind the scenes. And all the sales reps I've ever dealt with were super friendly, super nice, super personable. And yet, when I went to the back of the area, there's all these billboards that show people sales things. It shows the feature product of the month. And it's got sales records everywhere. And it's almost like neon signs going, sell, sell, sell! And it's like, I thought that was really interesting because it's like in one step, we're telling our employees to go out, build relationships and stuff. But then, in the back of house, we do all this other corporate speak. to drive business but kind of doing our reps a disservice. Because if you're not modeling that behavior, how are we going to keep that behavior?

Right, right.

To me, it's fascinating that we think that way. So Robert, I'd love to dig into some actionable steps that people tuning in can take to become more strategic with their communication. And we'll get to that right after this.

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Welcome back! I am speaking with Communication Storytelling Strategist Robert Kennedy III. Robert, you have a book coming out. Do you want to tell us a little bit about what your book is and what we can expect? And when is it going to be out?

Yeah, so this book is called The Language of Strategy: 28 Phrases That Move People and Shape Decisions. And it is a small book that is actually an aside or a supplement for some of our courses that we offer in our company. So, we have what we call the Voice, Vision, and Value framework. And one of the courses that we have is called The Language of Leadership. And so, this Language of Strategy book is— we believe that leaders must be strategic in their language. And quite often, we leave that up to chance. So, are there, as we help leaders figure out how they can lean into influence, and influence comes in several different flavors. It can be the words that you say. It can be how you show up in a space. It can be the silence that you may even inject into a space. How do you share phrases or words that cause, that create influence instead of explanation? in the room, leading people towards a strategic decision or towards a transformation point.

And to people tuning in, that might sound a little confusing now because we just talked about all this thing about relationship. And then, we've kind of gone into this technical side. How does one meter out the difference?

Well, so we ultimately want an outcome. Right. And so if I want an outcome, there are frameworks, there are tools that I can use to get from one space to the other. Now, if I'm in a room and I'm a leader, I typically can't achieve the outcome by myself. I've got to figure out how to get everybody on board or a team moving in the same direction with me. And so How do I influence? How do I share an idea and allow everybody to create ownership in that idea? So, we then all move in the same direction. So, on that side of the fence, especially as a business owner, I've got to be strategic in how I approach or how I share information and content.

Mm-hmm.

With regard to my customers, Yes, there is influence, there's strategy inside of that, and relationship is that beginning layer inside of this. Relationship doesn't negate the strategy, it's just that beginning layer. And when we talk about relationship, a lot of people think, oh, it's, it's long-term. We think about like dating somebody long-term, and you remember before you got married or before you got into this long-term relationship, there was this long period. So when we say relationship, they're like, oh my gosh. Yeah, I gotta have 5, 6, 7 meetings with this person before we get to the sale. Well, no, not exactly. Relationship can be, or level 1 or layer 1 relationship can be just finding that connection point. If I can find a point of connection that heightens the likelihood or increases the likelihood that that person will want to have an interaction with me again. Okay.

Mm-hmm.

We have the second interaction. Find the next connection point. Find 2 or 3, 4 more connection points. So, the relationship is that entry point or it's that first layer of what we're talking about.

Because I flash back to when I kind of started getting out of my— when I sold my restaurants and I came out to Alberta and I became part of the corporate family. of a casino. And there was this constant thing about playing golf. And it's almost like step 1, invite them to play golf. Right? And if they don't play golf, invite them to a tournament where it doesn't matter because it was a way for you to be able to have some face time with your people and get them to know you a little bit. But at the same token, I have talked to some entrepreneurs and this whole idea of relationship building and building this connection is like, but why? All I want is This. I just want this outcome. I don't want to have to spend a lot of time doing it. How do we shake that mindset so that we realize that this connection piece is really an investment in future business and in setting ourselves up for success?

Yeah, well, everybody doesn't walk around with a sign saying, I need this. Right? That would be super great if everybody walked around saying, I need coaching. I need water. I need a meal. You know, that would make life great. But because we don't know that, we've got to find a way to uncover that information. Now, there are some people, and so there are different levels or different layers of marketing. There are some people that do have a problem and they're not wearing a sign, but they're actively searching for a solution for that problem. That's why they then go on to Google and say, okay, let me type in how to do this, how to have a better relationship, how to, um, look more fashionable when I go into a meeting, how to influence in a meeting. They go into Google, they go into YouTube, and they type in, you know, how to, how to communicate more effectively, and they come upon this episode with Marc Haine and Robert Kennedy III. So, so that, that's That's one of the other layers. People have needs and they go to search, but there are some others that you don't know. So you, but you know that they're in the area, you know that they're in the space, you know, they're in the room. And at some point, because they work in a specific industry, they are going to have the need. They just don't have it right now. But how do you get them to the space where when they do have it, they think of you?

Yes.

So relationship has got to be built so that They have the problem and your email lands in their box. They're like, oh my gosh! How did you know I was having this problem right now? They're thinking of you because you've got the relationship with them.

Yeah. And so, when we talk about this relationship idea, I'm seeing from an association standpoint that association memberships now seem to be draining off people. Organizations are losing members. People aren't showing up to things like networking events and special events and trainings and this sort of thing. And the perception of associations kind of is falling by the wayside. How detrimental do you think that this is to all the different industries when somebody who used to have 5,000 members nationwide now are down to 300 people who have been members for the last 20 years?

Yeah, yeah. Well, there is a lot of change happening with that. And a lot of us saw that during the pandemic.

Yes.

In order to get together, we were doing it in person. We were doing it at hotels and ballrooms and bars, right? And then the pandemic happened, and all of a sudden there was this other option.

Yeah.

It was getting together virtually, and some of us were making that happen. And so then when the pandemic ended, now people are saying, okay, we've got this and we've got this. Okay, we don't have to do one all the time. We don't have to do the other. All the time. We can mix it up, and now we've got a lot of different options. So, it's not so much that the association market is dwindling. People aren't just going home and sitting down, right? They're just— they're doing something else. They're finding a replacement.

Yes.

So, we've got to find out, okay, what is that replacement? Because people still are human.

Yes.

They've still got needs. There are still problems to be solved. And so, What is the replacement for the association? What is the placement replacement for, for, for the ballroom? And some of that may be small meetups. Some of that may be you creating a space or curating a space for them to come into. Sometimes the association issue isn't so much that people don't want to be there. They just don't want to be there that much. If you're having an association where the month, there's a monthly meeting, They're saying, oh, I don't want to come every month. Maybe I want to come once a quarter.

Yeah.

Okay. But they might hop on the podcast for that association. Right.

Yeah, it's interesting. I think the association space is having a really tough time trying to figure out what that's going to look like over the long term because you're absolutely right. Part of it is of course being in nonprofits. A lot of them are nonprofit associations with volunteer boards and that sort of thing. And so, not only do the members have more things to do, And more things to distract them from association business. Board members are being pulled in so many different directions as well. You mentioned this idea of stories, like telling people stories.

Yeah.

Can you give me, for somebody who's like a welder, he's got a shop, how do stories help him effectively get people to understand who he is and what he does without maybe becoming uncomfortable with You know, kind of lots of personal details and, and stuff that people don't think they should be sharing.

Yeah. Well, you, you wear glasses, and so there's this company called Warby Parker. Have you heard of them?

Uh, no.

All right. So Warby Parker is a well-known, um, eyewear company.

Okay.

If you go to Warby Parker's website on their about page, They say Warby Parker is around because several— some years ago, a group of college students went on a camping trip. While they were on the camping trip, they went on a hike and one of them dropped their glasses and they got broken. They came back to the campsite and the student couldn't see that well. And then they went back to college and the student spent the rest of the semester squinting because When he went to try to purchase glasses, it was just too expensive. Warby Parker's founded on the idea that no one should be denied sight because, uh, it's too expensive. So we make eyewear that is affordable for the average person, right? So that's the story. That's the origin story. That's, that's the why. So people who connect with Warby Parker And they see that story, they're like, okay, yeah, I, I can vibe with that. I— because I know what it's like. Maybe I don't know what it's like to go camping. Maybe I don't know what it's like to go to, um, college or not to be able— but I do know what it's like to squint. I do know what it's like to have fuzzy vision. I do know what it's like to want something and go to the eye store and it's out of my budget. But I need this thing. So, yeah, a plumber or a mechanic, why do you do what you do? When a plumber says, you know what, I just love cars. My father used to take me into the garage and we worked on cars, and my granddaddy was a mechanic, and my great-grand— so it's just in the family. People love the idea of, oh my gosh, you— number one, you hung out with your dad. Number two, It's, it's something that has been happening in your family for a while. So if it's been happening in your family for a while, it tells me a couple of things. It tells me you just might know what you're doing. You didn't just start doing this yesterday. There's a trust builder inside of that story.

I love that. I love that.

Yeah. So there's, there's value in just sharing some of those little things. You can share a customer story. Listen, I had, A customer come in last week and they drove a Toyota Corolla and this Toyota Corolla had 350,000 miles on it. And we changed the oil. We did these 5 things. And, and I know that that customer's gonna get another 50,000 miles at least out of this car. When was the last time that you've seen a car or you've had a car for that long and had no car payment and no issues and no troubles? Everybody's like, oh my God, I, I don't, I hate paying for my car. I don't, I don't wanna have a car payment. I don't even like going to the mechanic, but if my mechanic is as nice as you, right, then, you know, I, I'd be glad to come. So, you know, it, it, trust storytelling is, is a, is used well, builds trust. Yeah.

Uh, Robert, could you, for the people tuning in, could you let everybody know how they can get in touch with you if they, if they find this fascinating and wanna work with you?

Yeah. Well, you can go to robertkennedy3.me. That is my landing page. You can find where I'm appearing from a speaking perspective. You can find all my socials there, any lead magnets or, or PDFs that we're sharing, how you can become a more intentional, more effective speaker. We've actually just released a tool called the 3M Story Builder, which the 3M stands for moment, meaning, and message. And so it's helped It helps people to create stories out of mundane moments in their lives. And so, that's on that page there as well. So, robertkennedy3.me.

So, dig a little bit deeper into those 3 Ms a little bit because that was going to be my next question about having a simple framework that business owners and leaders can use to help make their messages clearer.

Yeah. So, a lot of times you asked why people don't tell stories more. Earlier.

Yes.

And a lot of the reason is they don't think that they have something that's meaningful enough. They don't have something that's dramatic enough to capture attention. Nope, I was born. I have all my arms. I got all my legs, and I got both of my nostrils. I'm good. I've never been in a tragic car accident. I haven't had cancer. What would I tell people that would make them pay attention? And it's not so much the thing that happens to you. It's the meaning that you derive from it and the message that you share with people after it. So what this framework does is it takes any moment in your life. That moment might be as simple as, I took a test in college and I failed it. Okay. Doesn't matter what the test was, or the first time I took my road test, I failed it. Okay. Was there a meaning in that? Was there a lesson that you learned from that? Okay. Yeah. I learned that I need to slow down when I'm, when I'm driving a little bit more, or I've got to pay attention to the, be aware of the signs that are around me. That's what I learned because I happened to roll through a stop sign. And then there's a message that comes out of that. And what's that one-line message? What is that? repeatable soundbite that you can share with people that makes that story stick in their brain. So yeah, the tool helps you do just that. It does a lot of the work for you with AI inside of that. You share the, you share the moment. It'll help you to craft the meaning and the message. Or if you want to craft your own, you can do just that and then it'll push it, smush it all together neatly. into a story that you can use in a presentation or a conversation.

It's so interesting. One of the things that I did when I was in economic development was I came out of hospitality and I started working for a municipality. And I started going around touring through all the different businesses. And I'd walk into a business that obviously has lost its love. You could, when you walk into a building and you could smell the dust, like, right? And you touch surfaces and you just coats. And you go, I don't know what's— And the owner would come out and greet me. And you could tell he's absolutely defeated. And so, I make time to sit down with a cup of coffee. And so then, I asked one question and I said, how did you get started? Like what was day one looking like for you?

Yeah.

And it was interesting because instantly, he flashed back to when he was 20 years old. He bought his first truck. He was doing services in farmers' fields to fix broken-down tractors. And I could see all of a sudden, his face lit up. His body language changed. Everything about him was different.

Yep.

The question I had is, what do we need to do that when we are stuck kind of in the grind of our days and the grinds of our businesses, what do we need to do to get to that moment to rehash our passion? In our communication.

Yeah. Well, listen, you just explained it, or you just did— you perfectly laid out the framework that we just talked about. You shared the moment of the story, and then your meaning, it was, okay, what do we need to do? This is— he lit up, and we all want to light up at some point.

Mm-hmm.

And so what is the message inside of that? What is it that we need to do To get to that, that, that moment? I didn't want— I was looking for another word. I didn't want to repeat the word moment, but what is it that we need to do to get to that? So I love what you said at the beginning of it, and you said you asked the question, how did you get started? Especially if we're having conversations with people, questions are powerful.

Mm-hmm.

Questions are one of the best ways that you can create connection with With people, our brains have a process known as instinctive elaboration, and all that simply means is that when a question is asked, your brain can't help but answer it. It might not come out of your mouth, but your brain is always looking to create to close loops. Your brain is always seeking patterns. Your brain your brain is always seeking what's next or what the answer is for that thing. So somebody asks a question; your brain is immediately sorting through its mental database. to find out, did I experience that? Do I want to experience that? Did I like that experience? Is that something that I desire? Your brain's doing all of that. It may not come out of the mouth, but your brain is doing the work. Your brain is doing the work. So you want to hijack somebody's brain, you want to connect with them, you want to start— especially if you're a speaker or a leader, you want to hijack the brains of your audience— start with a question. Not just a yes or no question, a question A how question or a what-if question or what would it be like question. Now they're okay, they're sorting their thinking and you're creating connection because they are looking at internal or previous experiences. And when we can co-share or when we can co-create or collaborate on experiences, man, that's another layer of trust right there.

Well, what do you tell people who kind of sort of push back on that philosophy about, you know, like they don't want to ask questions because I don't want to pry?

Well, what result do you want? What are you after? You don't have to ask questions. But the result that you get is the result that you get. People are open to sharing. I mean, there's a reason that people come onto the Marc Haine Podcast.

Yeah.

There's a reason that I, I had maybe about 13, 14 years ago, I, I started a podcast. I'm, I'm no big deal. Nobody knows who I am at this point, but I reach out to, um, Tom Ziglar.

Oh.

So that's Zig Ziglar's son. I reach out to Tom Ziglar on Twitter At the time, I'm like, hey, Tom, I've got this podcast, blah, blah, blah. Can you get— and Tom says, sure. And he comes on the show, doesn't know me. But Tom, somebody who in normal conversation I might not have had, or normal life I might not have had the opportunity to get close to or even talk to or have conversation with, says, yes, I will come on. But I say that because people ultimately like— Some people may be shyer than others, But people, they kind of like to share. People like to talk about themselves and their experiences. Right.

It's so funny that you had— it's so funny you had that experience with Tom because I had that exact same experience when I reached out to Robert Kennedy III.

Because Robert Kennedy III is here. I mean, you know, he may not like to admit it, but he likes to talk about himself a little bit.

Robert Kennedy III to you, my friend.

Yes, yes sir. Yes sir.

I'd like to get into some pitfalls and cautionaries we should be watching out for. And we'll get to that right after this.

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Go ahead, subscribe to this podcast. That way, you'll You'll get notification when I bring you fresh new content each and every week. And don't be afraid to connect with me on social as well. Would love to say hi and love to hear your stories. Thank you so much for joining me today. My name is Marc Haine. I hope you stay safe, stay healthy, and I hope you dare to be the exception. See you next week!