The Hidden Cost of Change Most Leaders Ignore

You can roll out the cleanest strategy deck ever, the boldest vision, and have the slickest employee town hall and still watch your best people quietly walking out the door. Because here's the uncomfortable truth. When organizations go through change, people don't pause their lives to try to keep up. And that's What we're talking about today on Marc Haine Live. Welcome to this episode of Marc Haine Live. Of course, this is where small business owners and entrepreneurs develop new skills to help them create the jaw-dropping, show-stopping experience that their customers and their employees deserve. I am your host, Customer and Employee Experience Strategist Marc Haine. And I'm really thrilled that you're here with me today because my guest today is Leanne Rose And today, we are unpacking the hidden cost of change. Really, we're talking about how personal transformation, especially for women, directly impacts engagement, retention, and culture during organizational shifts. So, stick with us. My one ask is that if you know anybody who could use this information, please make sure you share a link to this episode and make sure that you subscribe to this episode. make sure you subscribe to the podcast. That way, you'll get notified when I bring you fresh new content each and every week. You know, I know that in my 30-plus years, I've seen it all. A rock-solid employee all of a sudden starts to pull back a little bit. Meetings get a little quieter. Energy drops and initiative seems to just fade off into oblivion. And leaders will presume and assume that this is a motivational problem. Or even worse, that this is a performance issue. But what happens if it's neither? What happens if the disengagement is actually a way for people to navigate major life transitions, especially with women, that they're navigating a major life change at the exact same time that the organization is trying to change around her as well? And that brings us to our Question of the Day. So, have you ever lost a high-performing employee and only realized afterwards that there were other things going on in their lives? That they themselves might have been going through a major personal transition and No one ever stopped to ask them about it. I'd love for you to share your comments, your questions about this. Why don't you go ahead and share this episode on your favorite social media platform? Hashtag it #ExperienceLeadership and be part of this conversation because I know that this is a conversation that is not typically on the forefront of our thought processes. But today, I'm happy to introduce my guest. My guest today is Leanne Rose Crook. Hi Marc! She is the founder of Lengo Living and she is an internationally certified coach. She is a Canadian Registered Safety Professional and she's got over 30 years in leadership, safety culture, and global corporate environments. Liane has worked across Canada. She's worked in the oil sands and she's worked internationally, including in the Middle East. She bridges personal development with organizational performance long before it was a trendy thing to do. Her work is grounded in lived experience, deep coaching practice, and a powerful truth many companies miss. When you support transformation from within, you don't just retain your people. You unlock loyalty, innovation, and profit. Leanne Rose, welcome to the show! It's so nice to have you.

Thank you, Marc. I'm so glad to be here with you and your audience.

So, let's start off maybe digging a little bit deeper into who your clients are and how do you serve them.

Yeah, absolutely. Primarily women. We're focusing on women and how do we serve them? I have gone through 8 major life-altering transformations, and through that I have found 6 steps that helped me to be able to go quicker, easier, and with less pain through those transformations. So now in my retirement job, I am providing that service to women to be able to move through life change faster, easier, and with less pain.

I love that. So, why is it that personal transitions often go unnoticed at work?

Gosh man, I can think of so many examples even just with myself. But when you think about it, We're at work and you're focused on the job, the elements that we are there to provide the company where we've got goals and mandates and projects. And that there's a fine line in between what we're doing at work and our home life. And it's kind of an interesting little line. We don't want to bring our work home with us. And we don't want to bring our home life to work. So, we've all so often created that little line that doesn't want to bridge.

Yeah, and a lot of times, we're told not to bridge it as well, right? We're told, leave your personal problems at home. When you come in through the door, you're in work mode and leave everything out, which of course is not a realistic expectation because we're Human beings living a human life.

Absolutely. And you wonder like, if you were gonna bridge that gap, who's gonna do it? HR? They don't want to do that. The manager? You know, that depends on relationships. But that's a touchy one.

Yes.

Who's gonna do it?

So, when it comes down to this idea of changes are happening, we see leaders will often misinterpret disengagement as a lack of commitment, or a lack of motivation, and so on. What should leaders be aware of when it comes down to all of a sudden, they're seeing their good performers not performing up to their past standards?

Great question. And the answer should be simple, which is have a conversation.

But they have to notice it first. Like, they have to notice that there's something wrong. And so, I think what happens a lot of times is people are like, oh no, Leanne's such a— she's such a good performer. I know that this is just a one-off. I'm sure she'll be back to whatever's ailing her. She'll be back to it no time soon. And it's almost like if we ignore the problem, it might just go away.

I'm gonna start the new year.

There you go. Just being resilient and pliable. And so, everything—

Go with the flow. Have grace with yourself.

It's all good.

That's it. And just have fun. So, I'm gonna clap and then I'll ask a question and we'll just continue on. How does that sound?

Sounds good.

Okay, here we go. So, Leanne, when it comes down to people's performance, what behaviors should leaders be aware of that shows that people are about to mentally check out? Is there anything that leaders can be aware of that when they see their good performers, what are the signs that they should be aware of? Yeah, absolutely.

And yeah, it's a great question. I guess what you're looking for is change. You've got a good employee. You've got a great performer. You've got that history and understanding how they've done. And now, you start to notice some shifts, some changes. Maybe language. I really love to go back to language. Are they saying things that they've never said before? Like, I'm just so lost right now, or this is like I'm really feeling disorientated right now. You know, those are some great little signs. Just notice language. Is the language starting to change from what they were? And this is a great moment to be able to sit down and have a conversation. We would hope that. In organizations, leaders would be meeting with their employees monthly, quarterly, something like that, where the conversation is about the projects and the work but also an element of the soft skills, the human piece to it. So, those are great places to just highlight that they should be implemented into the corporate systems. And they are a great place to just naturally have those conversations.

I like that you encourage people to have these conversations because I think all too often, I think things do get swept under the rug with the leaders hoping that this is gonna, oh, you know what? It'll go back to normal by itself. It's like, if I just ignore it, it'll go away. Which of course is not the case when it comes to issues. And then, they wonder why they have a revolving door of hiring people in, people leaving, hiring people, people leaving. So, this idea like I've been advocating through this for years now about that managers need to view themselves more as a coach. And so, a coach would never see a bad behavior out on the field or on the court and just ignore it. They'd address it. And so, what you're suggesting is basically that same kind of thing is if we see a change, we pull people aside and we say, hey Leanne, can we just talk for— have a cup of coffee and just have a chat for a minute? I'd love to know what's going on.

Yeah, absolutely. And when you mention it and say it that way, Marc, It reminds me of Mastering the Art of Tough Conversations. How do we have tough conversations and be okay with it?

Yeah.

A lot of us were never trained how to do that. And one of the things that I've taught often just as a quick little note in tough conversations is if you can think about what is the outcome you're hoping for That's a great place to focus your idea, your energy, your courage to have that conversation. So, they haven't been performing well. I don't want to address it. What are they going to bring up? What if they cry? All of those things. But if you can, instead of thinking about how it might go badly, imagine having a good conversation and think about what happens when we get to the root of it. Or that they know that I at least am caring, or that they at least feel seen and heard. How much more will that increase their performance? And staying focused on that outcome more so than the potential struggle or tough conversation itself.

Yeah, it's really interesting. As you were saying that, I was thinking back to Many different kinds of conversations I've personally had. But then, conversations I've had with leaders who when it comes down to dealing with their female counterparts or their female colleagues aren't well equipped to start the— it feels uncomfortable. Sometimes, it's like, I don't want to come across icky if I start asking these questions. Of course, I don't want to put my employees in difficult situations. What What counsel would you give these kinds of leaders?

Absolutely. And great question. First of all, tools are great to have. And certainly, the program that I've developed is a tool that can be used for the organizations that if you're not fully equipped to be able to handle the details. And I really don't know if we're supposed to be handling the details. We're there for a business, for leadership.

Yeah.

To get into the minutia of what's really happening for her as an example. That's not really— that's that fine line that we were talking about between corporate and personal. To be able to have a tool as a corporation and say, here you go. Here's something that we feel is a great opportunity for you personally because we care. Because we See you because we understand you too are going through something outside of what we have here in the corporation. And so, that's a great thing to have is some tools.

Yeah.

And some wellness programs are great. But sometimes, they just don't quite get to those little finer details that the managers could really use for the employees.

Well, and I kind of like that because to your point, we're not trained on doing this. And so, by being able to reach out to and have programs where we have mental health, mental wellness programs, I mean, a lot of our benefit packages have counseling services and therapy services and that sort of thing included in the package. But so, part of what I'm thinking is that the very first step to try to solve all this is that we have to, as leaders, we have to understand what resources are available to us that we're able to help leverage to help our employees.

Absolutely, yeah. And making sure that we hold ourselves as leaders accountable for those conversations.

I love that. You mentioned your 6-step process. I'd love to get into that to uncover how leaders can turn the tide on this situation because I know it's happening and we're not talking about it. And so, we'll get to that right after this.

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Welcome back! I am speaking with Leanne Rose Crook. And we're talking about how to shift through all the different changes. We have changes in personal lives, within our staff. Organizations are constantly on this route of constant change. So, Leanne Rose, you mentioned how language matters. during these times of uncertainty. And I think that being transparent, letting people know when workplaces are going to shift, when things are going to happen. I mean, nobody likes to be blindsided. But a lot of the personal issues that we face, employees getting divorced, or all of a sudden, they can't make their mortgage anymore, or they're under debt loads. And they have parents who are Ailing or dying and all that. Like, there's so many different things that we have to be aware of. And so, could we talk specifically about— you mentioned language mattering and some of the verbiage that you use. But how can we make the language intentional enough so it makes a difference during these times of uncertainty?

I love that you're asking that question, Marc. The end goal of what we're, I would say, looking for is having that radiant, powerful woman coming to work with her brilliance and her skills and her capabilities. That's what we want. Certainly, she wants that and certainly, the businesses want that. But when you've got these issues like you've mentioned, you've mentioned a number of them— divorces, aging parents, Metopause is another one where we could be experiencing so much. People, women can feel stuck, quietly grieving, lost, disorientated in their own personal life, and they don't necessarily will be going out talking about that. They may be wondering to themselves, Who am I without my husband now that we're divorced? I'm tired of holding it all together. Time is slipping away and I'm not getting where I need to go. These things are rolling around inside of them. With the program that I've developed, women are able to rebuild their identity. They are able to reclaim that power that they once had. Some of them reclaim power that they've never had and then take ownership on what they want in their lives.

So, could we talk a little bit about the 6 steps? Because I think ultimately, leaders understanding what they can do I think becomes helpful. But also for the people who might be saying, my life just feels wrong today. And being able to shake themselves out of it. So, could we talk a little bit about that?

Yeah, absolutely. I've gone through 8 major life transformations. And as I went through those, I noticed that there were 6 steps that I consistently was hitting when I landed on my feet, landed strong and confident and courageous. And so, I really went in and dug into exactly what I was doing to be able to do that. Would you like to hear the 6 steps?

Yes, please.

Okay. So, step 1 is identifying the shift. So, this is where we really— the key content in that is identify. Recognizing what has changed and really naming it for yourself. And it's so interesting in this segment. When you say, well, what's changed for you? Change rarely stays in one lane. So, when you ask that question of what's changed, sometimes people really struggle to even language out for themselves what has changed. So, that's number one. And when you can nail that, then we can easily move into the next stages. Step 2, owning your story. This is where we get Radical accountability and responsibility in our roles, our choices, our healing. Third step is standing in your strength, discovering and reclaiming your strength, your values, your identities, your inner radiance, really. Step 4 is making bold moves.

Uh-huh.

Taking aligned, intentional action to be able to move into the life that you know that you want. Step 5, rooting into your new life. You're stabilizing and learning new patterns. You're finding your boundaries, your routines. And then step 6 is inspiring through the journey. And this is where we get to share our wisdom and is a natural place where it's like, well, I know you're going through this. Let me share this with you. This is what I went through.

Hmm.

You'll notice that the 6 steps are not groundbreaking. They're not new. But what they are is a system that when working together is consistent. It is duplicatable whether you're going through divorce, whether you're going through a corporate transition, whether you're going through health issues, menopause. They work consistently. It's a great consistent scale to be able to use again and again. Men, women, corporations. Yeah.

I get a sense. So, you said, when we work together. So, I get a sense that this is not something that people are able to do by themselves. Is that a fair assessment?

I think that to learn it, they need the system. They need the guide. They need the guide. They need to know how to do it. My dream in this organization is to be able to train people on the system so that mothers in the future can teach their children. Friends could teach friends over coffee. That we create that culture that we just know how to do this.

Hmm.

That this simple stuff that I just mentioned, I don't know, is maybe in grade 1. That we learn it just naturally and organically and that we don't have to go through change with the idea that it's hard and that it takes a lot of time and that we need to suffer. Yeah.

So, for the people tuning in who this is resonating with, how can they get in touch with you?

Absolutely. So, langoliving.com is the website. All the information is there. And yeah, I would love to even offer any corporations that are going through a corporate change and is trying to understand how to intersect their corporate changes with the employees' changes. I would love to have that conversation with those in your audience. And then, of course, if there's anybody individually going through that is wanting to move through change faster, easier, and with less pain, call me and let's book a 30-minute conversation and learn more.

It does It seemed to me that we have to be really intentional with defining what's wrong. Because I think all too often, I think we just get into our kind of heads and stuff. And it's like, oh, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? I suck. I'm so terrible. It's all— I suck. Now, I have to go to work. And that whole framework is out there without people being able to recognize maybe that there's something much deeper here. It's not just the fact that we're defective, or that we're going through a rough time, or that there's something deeper than that. And we do need help. How do we become intentional to be able to figure out, oh, this is a time in which I should be asking for help?

Yeah, you mentioned language earlier. And I think what you demonstrated there in that great moment that I think so many of us can resonate with is that That rumination that sort of goes on in the head and the language that we acquired over a life, was told, or just was in our culture, it gets stuck in our head. And when we don't have language to propel us outside of that, we can get stuck.

Mm-hmm.

And so, I really love the idea of being able to Really widen our language. An interesting experience that I go through with my clients in our coaching sessions, I don't know if you've ever done this, is the feelings wheel. So, we'll be sitting in a conversation with the clients and we'll talk about, well, how does that make you feel? And so often, The language will be angry, happy, sad, annoyed. And I'll hand over this wheel that has, I don't know, maybe 200 different feelings on the wheel. And I ask them to review the feelings wheel and see if they can get even closer to how they're feeling. And it's so amazing to watch people go, Well, yes, I'm annoyed and I'm feeling aggressive and I'm shocked. So, being able to open up the language is amazing to just be able to start moving out of our heads. And then, we have so many people in the country, around the world that is dealing with more than one language. And so now, when you're dealing with multiple languages, they may be able to somewhat understand what they're feeling in their own language. But a completely different language can give them an entirely different spectrum of experience.

Well, and add to that that there's also different cultural ways of dealing with things. I mean, we grew up in North America where it was like, just suck it up. Right? Others is, you know, you have a very gender kind of separation on how we should be feeling about things. So, from a leadership perspective, how can leaders apply your framework without actually them becoming the therapists? How can we use the framework to help create the conversations with our team members?

I think when you think about An opportunity of state. The state of curiosity is so powerful to know that if you just get curious enough to not hold expectations or assumptions and just get curious in a conversation, it allows you to be able to just experience. what their experience, have empathy on where they're at, and just have open dialogue and open conversation to be able to see where they're at. I remember when I was in Iraq, it was so interesting. I led a group of women and developed a system for leading women in Iraq. And I remember one day, I sat down at the table with these women and we're just getting started on this program. And someone had tried to get the program set up at first. And what they had done is said, okay, as international leaders, women need this, this, this, and this. And Ultimately, the system failed. So, when I came on board, I thought, let's start from scratch and get curious.

Right.

I sat down at a table with 7 women and I just got curious. I imagined I know nothing and I just didn't assume anything. And I started to ask questions. And I asked, what is the most important thing that you really, really need? And they said they wanted to drive. And they asked me if I'd teach them how to drive a car.

Wow!

Like, we're talking about corporations. This is a massive corporation. And their number one concern at that table with the most powerful women in leadership in that organization was they wanted to learn how to drive. Now, I unfortunately couldn't teach them how to drive. But because we were able to implement a driving program for them, they were able to get to work safer. They were able to stay late like they wanted to. But they had no way of getting home. And so, it opened up their opportunity in comfort, in stability, in security, and safety. But if I wouldn't have gotten fully curious at that time, I would have never known that that was their number one priority to really come to work and be strong at work.

I love that you used curiosity as the anchor for that because without that curiosity, we have to fall on assumptions. And so, the first group when they said this is what the women want was all based on assumptions. It was probably some guy in an office someplace saying, we want the women to do this, this, and this. Make it happen. And then, when you're actually sitting down with the stakeholders, you come up— when you're leading with curiosity, you come up with something that's so— and it just seems so basic, doesn't it? It's just such a basic—

It does.

And a lot of that happens in my experience. I've seen the exact same thing happen where I thought, oh my God, we got this big problem. It must be a huge, huge problem. And then, I actually sit down with people and realize actually, it's not such a big problem. It's actually a very little problem that's easy to fix. And if we fix that, that will have this domino effect by solving the big huge problem.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, I think that that is just the place to start.

Yeah, it's interesting. What I'd love to do is I'd love to think about for people tuning in for this, that they know that they need to make a change. I'm always a little bit afraid of band-aid managers, the ones who will pick up information like this and go, okay team, we're gonna do something different for the next 30 to 60 days. And so, I want to get away from band-aid solutions. And so, I'd like to talk a little bit about some cautionaries and some pitfalls to be aware of. And we're going to get to that right after this.

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We are having a phenomenal discussion. I hope you're getting lots of value from this today. As we dive Before we dive deep into today's episode, I wanted to take a moment just to let you know that Leanne Rose and I are not just voices behind a microphone. We're here to help you take your leadership and your business to the next level. So, if you're looking to empower your team, enhance your customer and employee experiences, or simply need fresh actionable insights to help you navigate today's business challenges, we're available for leadership retreats. We're here for conferences. and even help you with some tailored workshops. If you're planning an event and want to provide your team with an impactful, high-energy session that leaves them equipped and inspired, let's connect. Our contact information is in the show notes. Don't be afraid to reach out. Leanne Rose, now that I've finished with our shameful plug or shameless plug.

Let's call it an opportunity.

Let's, yes, absolutely. Let's just call it an opportunity. Hey, so So, let's talk a little bit about leaders have been able to pinpoint a problem. They've consumed this information and they decide, you know what? I'm going to go in and I'm going to start changing how we face these kinds of challenges. What are some pitfalls and cautionaries we should be aware of so that we don't make situations worse? We don't— I mean, for me, I believe trust becomes kind of the catalyst that everything works under. And when we break that trust, It hurts everything else. So, what are the pitfalls and cautionaries we should be aware of so we don't sink that trust factor?

Yeah, great! We did already address the element of being curious. And in the state of curiosity, that does allow us not to put our own stuff into things. So, I think that that one is definitely important. The other thing I think is important is the fact that all of the management of change is not only the responsibility of the leadership team. Accountability and responsibility is really everyone's job. So, being the leader, fair enough. You've got accountabilities and responsibilities in communicating, and connecting. But also, the employees have a responsibility and accountability to themselves and to their role as well. So, I think it's important for us to realize it's not all on the leader's shoulders to manage their way through change.

And so, having said that though, what Is there responsibility? Because again, I find that an awful lot of business organizations will see behavioral change and they'll just ignore it. And I'm a big fan of what gets recognized and rewarded gets repeated. So, when we have good behavior and we recognize and reward it, that good behavior is going to repeat itself. When we see behavior that's not up to par, and we don't say anything, it not only is not going to get better but it's actually going to evolve worse. Because at some point, people are going to say, well, it happened and this happened and nobody said anything. So, I guess they don't care. This happened to me and I guess they don't care about me. Right? And so, it'll always evolve and get worse. Yeah, I've seen that. So, how do we shake ourselves out of this and become a little bit more intentional?

I think having a system where it is our duty, we put in our own duty to have those conversations. Taking your leadership role seriously. Leadership is not just about a title. Leadership is about leading other humans.

Mm-hmm.

Being responsible enough to set those boundaries where that once a month, once every quarter, once a week, I have a conversation. I've seen great leaders that put it on their books that they do a walkthrough every week. They grab one person and have an honest, curious conversation. That's brilliant. What if we were to add that into our role?

Yeah, I'm always surprised. I love watching the old show Undercover Boss. And I'm always blown away by the epiphanies that these owners have when they actually get to sit down with people within their organizations and actually get curious with people. Like every single episode, it's like, oh, I didn't know I had such brilliance. I didn't know I had these people who are going through all these challenges. I didn't. Right? And it's like, well, how would you ever know unless you make a habit of doing this?

That's right. Yeah, absolutely. It is. And that goes in that identity. When you say that, I think about our identity. I'm the owner. I'm the boss. I'm the leader. I'm the director. What if you just remove that identity from yourself for a moment and stepped in a different identity? As the janitor, as the copy boy, as the coordinator. What does that look like? Yeah, so many amazing opportunities and knowledge comes to us when we see things in a different perspective.

I love that. This has been such a great discussion, Leanne. As we wrap up, do you have any last thoughts about we've been talking about today. Is there anything, any kind of head on the nail that you think we need to finish off with to get this message heard and understood?

Yeah, absolutely. I think standing in your curiosity is going to bring those radiant, powerful women back to the positions that they belong in. And you have all the power and all the capability to help lead them to their greatness and to the corporate strength. So, it's there for the taking. We just need to implement human-to-human contact again.

I love that. Leanne, could you remind everybody one more time how they can get a hold of you?

Absolutely, Marc. Thank you. langoliving.com. You'll find everything you need there.

Excellent! And the link is in the show notes. So, don't be afraid to check it out. Leanne Rose, thank you so much. I want to thank you for sharing your passion, your expertise with us today. It's been brilliant. Just having the conversation about things we don't have a conversation about, I think is so valuable. So, thank you for doing this with us today.

Well, thank you for doing this for your audience and for everyone out there. You're doing amazing work and it's been such a pleasure, Marc. Thank you.

I loved hanging out with you. Thank you so much. Hey, and why don't you let me know if this was of value to you? As always, my offer stands. If you would like 30 minutes of my time to brainstorm your business with you and your team, feel free to book yourself on my online calendar. The link is in the show notes. It's the one that's marked meetwith.marchaine.com. It would be an honor for me to be of service to you. And if you need the help, feel free to connect with Leanne Rose. Make sure that you tap into the experience and the expertise that I bring you each and every week. These people are resources to help your business thrive and grow. So, while you're here, why don't you go ahead and leave a comment or review about this episode? I'd love to get your feedback. Was this of value to you? And of course, if you haven't done so yet, please make sure you subscribe. to the podcast. That way, you get notified each and every week when I bring you fresh new content and experts like Leanne Rose to help build your business. Thank you so much for joining me today. My name is Marc Haine. I hope you stay safe, stay healthy, and I hope you dare to be the exception. Bye for now!