035: Embracing your inner witch, ft. Gem Wilson

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Wayfair. Every style, every home. Hi everyone, thank you so much for joining me on another episode of Connie Crystals, the podcast. I hope that you're all well. Where is the bloody summer? I'm saying this because I'm recording this week's episode pushed up against my office window and it's absolutely lashing it down outside. And I'll also just quickly apologize too, in case you can hear it, but I basically live on a building site with it being a new build estate and they're digging up the roads outside. So apologies for the beeping and the like noise. I'll try and edit it out as much as I can, but I'm hardly Calvin Harris on the mix table. So apologies in advance if you can still hear it in the final cut. Um, but yeah, this week I've got an amazing guest on the show, so I'll let her introduce herself in a minute. But she's a business coach, she's a mentor, she's a graphic designer, she's a multiple business owner, a huge believer in the law of attraction, as well as being a practicing witch. She holds her own monthly witch circles, which I'm just dying to attend, by the way, because they look so much fun. So please give a very warm welcome to Gemma Wilson. Hi Gemma, how are you?

Hi, Mart. I'm great, thanks. How are you?

Yeah, I'm very, very well, thank you. Like I say, it's just a bit miserable here in Newcastle. I don't know what it's like down there in Wales.

I don't know. I live in a church, so we have stained glass windows, so I literally have no idea what the weather is like.

I love that. That's the ultimate spiritual nexus, isn't it? It is.

It's like being in a fortress.

Oh, bless you. I know I've just touched briefly on a few things there that you've accomplished and achieved over the last few years, but we have so much to unpack in this episode with you because you really are the woman who's done it all. Like, do you want to introduce yourself a bit more to the listeners out there and give a bit of an overview of what you do in a bit more detail than what I've just shared?

Yeah, perfect. So, um, my name is Gem. I am a coach and a mentor for women that are looking to, um, build or grow their heart-centered business that sets their soul on fire. And, um, you may not have heard of a heart-centered business before. It's basically based around your own values and adding value to the world. And that's something I'm really, really passionate about sharing. And on top of that, I also run Vala, which is a plant-based energy gel for endurance athletes. And yeah, my background is in advertising, graphic design, art direction for fashion and beauty. I did that for well over 10 years.

Yeah, I was just going to touch on that. I was saying like I knew from speaking to you previously that you were a graphic designer because that's how we first got talking, wasn't it? You ordered some crystals from me about a year ago and you were like, I love the aesthetics of your website and I love how clean it is. And I was like, oh, my partner's a graphic designer. And you were like, you can tell you've worked with one.

Yeah, I remember messaging you and saying, I love that you actually sell crystals on your website and it's not a live sale.

Yeah, I remember that as well because you were saying you find them quite monotonous, don't you? And a bit daunting and stuff. Yeah. So what was it that made you take the leap from the corporate world and from graphic designing and to just basically go and do your own thing? Were you pushed because of the pandemic, or was it something that you kind of just did naturally and it was the natural next step for you?

Yeah, so I basically spent most of my career as a freelancer, so I had a lot of freedom over how I worked, but I would still go into an office to work. So it was called being in-house. So I technically acted like anyone else with a 9 to 5, but I really wanted more freedom of time and I started to feel this pull to start a business that really embodied my passion for holistic healing and mindset work, spiritual work. And I was going more and more down this path through my own life experiences, really. And I didn't really know what business to do. I thought I would maybe train as a personal trainer or, um, retrain as, um, a naturopath or dietitian, but Uh, I just somehow threw all that aside and was like, oh, I'm just going to move to Australia. So I just moved to Australia, um, on a whim basically in 2017. And then I met, um, my boyfriend, uh, now boyfriend a week after I got there. So I think that was like a big manifestation-inspired action result. And, um, yeah, then he started running marathons, got sick from taking those energy gels. And I had that lightbulb moment then of, oh my gosh, this is what I can do. You know, I can actually run a business from scratch, do the branding and have it my way. Because a lot of the time I felt frustrated with sort of the rules that came with working in a 9 to 5. And that's just not how I work. I'm an empath and an introvert as well. So Working in an office was just a bit of a nightmare for me at times, and I always felt like the odd one out. So, yeah, having that opportunity, then I started Vala, and then through doing Vala, I was also still mentoring people, graphic designers that were younger than me. So I've got a big passion for mentoring in general and started to get more people asking, like, how did you do your business? How did you do the logistical side combined with the more energetic side? And I'd say, you know, I've got a business vision board in my office. I look at it every day and I'm like, yeah, cool, let's get these gels to the Olympics. And why not?

Yeah.

So yeah, the long and short is I basically wanted more freedom of time to say how I live my life.

And it's amazing as well that you've been able to pass that on to so many other people as well through your business coaching as well. Because when I first started, obviously I felt like I had no one around me. And I think you were like a bit of an angel in disguise. So I'd only been running Candy Crystals for, say, a month or so. You ordered from me and you just sent me so much, like, positive feedback on what was going well, whereas I was concentrating on all the negatives at that point in time. And I can just remember listening to your voice notes, and I remember, like, playing them for Johnny, for example. And I was like, listen to this Welsh girl, what she said about the website and how good it is and all this. And it really gave me such a buzz. And then I remember you sent me a link to your e- your ebook, uh, which is on your website, I believe, isn't it? It's £10, I think, normally. But you sent me it for free, and I was like, that is so kind. And it took me about 3 weeks to actually get into it and start reading it because I was just so busy at the time. But when I did, I was like, this is full of like useful knowledge that like everyone should read before they go into their own business. And that's something that I never had. So what was it that drew you to obviously passing that knowledge on to other people through business coaching? Was it just the fact that you thought, this is what I didn't have, or was it something else?

Yeah, it was definitely a case of what I didn't have. And the whole reason I wrote the book during the lockdown was because I had loads of time on my hands, but also I would just get people asking, how do you do this? How do you do that? So it was actually a really simple way to consolidate it down, make it nice and easy, and also help someone that is just starting out because Nobody really tells you about trademarks, trademark oppositions, get an accountant, it's the best investment you'll ever make. And you know, all of these other things that you, I learned the hard way basically. And I just don't want other people to learn the hard way. So I have always had mentors in the past because I want to learn from their mistakes. I don't want to make those mistakes. I want the fast track. So, yeah, that's sort of what inspired me then to go into spiritual mentorship, and I didn't really have a place to do that in Vala. Um, it's a sort of a completely different world. So that's what inspired me to then start a new account, to get certified as a life coach, and to, yeah, actually do it full-time rather than just sort of, you know, cheering people on from the sidelines.

Amazing. So you touched on there as well, like, two facts that I didn't know about you. One, that you're an introvert, because you really don't come across that way, and the other, that you're an empath as well. And It's weird because I always say whenever I do them quizzes online and things like that, it always comes up saying that I'm an introvert. Whereas when I'm with friends and things like that, they're always like, oh, you're really extroverted, what you're on about. But I actually prefer my own space. And like, I am quite introverted when I'm in the house on my own. I'm quite like reserved, if that makes sense. But I've mentioned in a past episode as well where I actually thought I was an empath, but I've come to learn that it's clairsentience. Um, because empaths obviously feel that, don't they? They feel what other people are feeling, whereas clairsentients just know. It's like this morning, I knew my partner was peed off as soon as he set foot out of bed. I just knew, and he hadn't had a good night's sleep. And because, because of that, I knew that he was going to be like, uh, mourning and moping around and things. That's weird, isn't it? But being an empath, surely that's draining on your energy as well. And you mentioned there about, uh, working in an office environment. I mean, that That's— that could be proper draining for you, was it?

Yeah, I never realized it at the time. So I only started really finding out about this sort of energy work in my late 20s. And so I wasn't really cleansing my energy. I knew that I like to shower at the end of each day intuitively, but then I learned afterwards showering is a way of cleansing your aura, you know, allowing that energy to ground down. And yeah, I would constantly get these sort of like ear and throat infections, which now I look back and I think, hmm, was that from like a throat chakra, um, sort of like, you know, like a blockage there from not feeling like I was really expressing myself to my highest ability. So yeah, being an empath, I definitely say it has its benefits, um, but I think once you have awareness, then you can sort of harness it and manage your energy in a way that feels empowering to you.

100%. And talking about being empowered and things like that, can we talk about your witch circles? Because I absolutely love the sound and the look of them, and I'm mentioned to you before, like, is this just for women? Because I really want to join one. And obviously you do them face to face, and I was like, should I drive to Wales just for this, like a couple of hours and things, and just to surprise Gemma? Because I would really, really love to attend a face-to-face one. But you're obviously doing them online now as well, aren't you? Or you're looking to do them online at the very least.

Yes.

So I absolutely love the sound and look of them. So do you want to describe them to the listeners and talk about what happens in those witch circles?

Yeah, perfect. And I would love to see you at a circle. Come and stay. I'm going to Um, yeah, so basically the history of circles, um, women have always sat in circles, but, um, during the time of the persecutions, they were no longer allowed to gather in groups as it was deemed as being, uh, you know, witchcraft, and then they'd be punished for it. And, um, obviously during the witch trials, women were pitted against each other. For example, if you were deemed to be a witch, you, um, would be spared if you could maybe name 5 other women in your village. Um, and obviously villages were really small back then, so you'd be naming your sister, your daughter, your grandmother, your neighbor. And that caused women to, um, sort of turn against each other and caused, you know, the sisterhood wound, what is now known, um, as the witch wound, which is a term that's been coined by Kimberly Jones. She's amazing. I would highly recommend looking her up. And so, yes, sadly, as a result of the persecutions, then our sort of sense of coming together, sitting in circle, taking time to share and listen to each other has been lost over the centuries, which, you know, has had a huge impact on us and is something that when we come together in circle, we can help to heal. And so in my own circles, I see women laughing, I see them sharing about their wins and fears, things about crystals. Last time we were actually talking about what you do if you break a crystal. Do you bury it? One of my friends said she super glued it back together. And so it's all like, yeah, it's very— it's about just like embracing womanhood and sisterhood. And, um, yeah, we cover all the different clair senses last time. So each time I tend to do a theme because I love a theme. So we've done, yeah, healing, um, healing the witch wound and talking about Kimberly's work. And, um, we've done a full moon temple, how to work with the cycles. The last one we did was an angelic realm, how to connect with your angels. And more than anything, it's just this really, um, lovely space to come together that's free from judgment. And as someone who maybe is at the beginning of this spiritual journey, sometimes it can feel quite lonely, quite isolating, because you don't know what, you know, where to start, who to speak to, what to believe. And so having that opportunity to come together, that's something that's really important for me.

So how are you planning to take that online then? Is this going to be like a one-off masterclass for a couple of hours where it's like a live stream event, or is it something um, you know, like a Facebook Live or something like that? How are you planning to do it?

Yeah, I think it would probably be more like a Zoom. So that's the thing, that when they're in circle, I can do the extra touches, like make, um, cacao. Everyone gets a dream pouch with a corresponding crystal in. So, um, we'd have like a dream pouch with a crystal and a herbal tea and then an affirmation for that month. Um, so yeah, just trying to figure that out, how to bring that online. And, um, the first half tends to be more like learning, practical advice, and then the second half tends to be more like, um, a guided meditation then, and journal prompts, and then tapping in, connecting with your higher self.

Oh, you've sold it for me, I'm coming! So is, um, being a witch something that you've always thought you were and you've not just explored it, or is it something that you've kind of been passed down generationally from, uh, like other matriarchs within your family?

Yeah, so this is something my sister and I talk about a lot. So my— we think my mom is like a secret low-key witch, but she doesn't want to, um, what's the word, express that or tap into it. She's been told she has psychic abilities, witch abilities, not interested. So my sister and I always thought everyone else thought like this. We thought everyone else could read the room, could feel the emotions, could people out. And it was only actually when I met my partner that I was like, you don't think like this? Is this not like how everyone thinks? And he's like, no. So, yeah, I wasn't brought up, you know, with a generational historical witchcraft, but living in Wales and having like half Scottish blood, there's obviously huge, huge communities of witches. And we even have a place in Wales called Cwmbrach, which is Valley of the Witches. So there's a big history of the craft here. It's something I've always connected with. I've always loved death ever since I was a child, being fascinated by it. My goal as like an 8-year-old was to visit a graveyard. I had these strange fascinations with Halloween, and I just never thought anything of it. But I think because I didn't have like a Book of Shadows or I didn't have a wand or, you know, all these other like classically witchy things, I never thought, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm not a witch. I guess just I like witchy things. But then the more informed I got about what actually a witch is, she's somebody that works with energy. So even if you manifest, that is similar to spellwork, you're manipulating energy. For the greater good, for a result. And yeah, working with herbs, having a love of animals and affinity with animals, loving nature, the cycles of nature, the moon, all of these things. I started to realize, oh my gosh, actually I feel really connected to that and I am a witch. And that was something I wanted to embrace. And I remember saying to my mom, I guess I'm like a witch. And she's like, you're not a witch. Yeah, I am. And so just having these conversations and now everyone's just like, oh yeah, I get it, it's fine. And I think to a lot of people, they only know the Hocus Pocus Sabrina witches where they've got cauldrons and it gets to be so much more simple than that.

I was going to say, I think it's a lot more socially acceptable to say that you're a witch these days as well. Especially because there's no more persecutions and things. Yeah, but as well as that, like I've mentioned in past episodes as well about how it's so similar to manifesting and things, because it is literally putting your intentions out there to the universe. It's just like prayer, do you know what I mean? Like people used to—

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Persecute witches, but then Christians pray to a god, do you know what I mean? And I just thought, well, it's the same kind of concept, isn't it? And a lot of what you've just said resonated for me because I guess for me, I grew up being attracted to Wicca and paganism, probably more so Wicca, uh, in my teen years, and being so fascinated by things. And in a way, I guess I've always thought that there has to be more to the universe and more to life in general. And even last week when I put a video on Instagram of what I do on the first of each month, blowing cinnamon over my house threshold I think you commented, didn't you, and you said something like, oh, this is very witchy, I love it. And it made us realize that I do these little everyday witchcraft practices without even thinking about it all the time. So I'd just like to ask you as well, so what has been that most standout moment in your life where you've suddenly had a moment of realization that there is actually more to life? Was it becoming a witch and obviously accepting your witchcraft ways, or was it something that you've manifested in the past? What was it that's made you realize that there's more to life?

Yeah, I think one of the most recent things I can think of is what I've mentioned about manifesting my partner. And I tell people and they're like, that has to be fate. There's no way that couldn't have been fate. The fact that you moved to another country, you met this person a week after you got there. He wasn't even supposed to go to this barbecue that my flatmate's friend was holding. And Yeah, I would— I was working on visualizing, yeah, like a life partner, manifesting something that I could enjoy life with. And I look back and I think, yeah, that's probably one of my best manifestations because I used to write— sounds really funny, but I tell everyone to do it— I used to write a list of like, what is my ideal partner? Like, what do they do? Um, what, what are their values? And I had it stuck on the back of my door and I would look at that every day. And you know, it's kind of like an affirmation, I suppose, that's seeping into your mind, and then you're subconsciously attracting that towards you. And he had most of those things on the list, so amazing. It obviously worked.

So obviously, when I spoke about manifesting on the podcast in the past, we've spoke about limiting beliefs and having these blocks and resistance and things like that. And when you've got that friction and resistance, you find it, right, really hard to manifest. So how did you overcome your limiting beliefs? Because I know obviously it's a catch-22 too, isn't it? So the first time you hear about manifesting, you tend to be so open to the idea and you're unattached to those blocks that you can just manifest without any issue. And it tends to be the first time that someone tries to manifest, they do it within minutes. But the more you give it that thought, the more resistance you feel into it and the harder it then becomes. So how have you overcome your limiting beliefs to manifest?

Yeah, I would always say to start small. And, you know, I think it's like The Secret or something, they talk about manifest the coffee. But that is a good piece of advice. Like, if you want to manifest £10,000 in your business, start with £1,000. Start with what feels safe in your body and that you can get behind. And I have plenty of limiting beliefs that come up every day, and I do choose to have empowering beliefs, you know, to replace them with. Or, you know, I question it and go like, what, you know, why are you coming up? I know you're trying to keep me safe. So, for example, I am not a natural public speaker. I— it terrifies me. Um, but it's something that holding a sister circle, I knew if I want to hold a sister circle, I have to sit in front of like up to 10 women and talk without a script, not flub my words. And so I was like, right, what can I do to work through this? And so one of my favorite phrases is fear and growth cannot coexist.

Love that.

So you kind of, you know, yeah, simultaneously afraid and growing if you want to go after your dreams, do something you've never done before. It is going to feel a little bit uncomfortable, but I would say try to find something to help support you. So for example, public speaking is not my jam, but I want to do it. I want to get better at it because it allows me to serve my clients better, allows me to hold bigger workshops. So I found this amazing lady called Charlotte. She runs a workshop called Body Breath Voice. Which is in Cardiff and Swansea, and that's all about learning how to, um, speak as yourself confidently and using different techniques, breathing techniques. So she's a yoga instructor as well. So really finding someone that connects with you to help you move through it, whether that's a coach, a mentor, or somebody like I just mentioned, like Charlotte.

I love that as well. And because I think obviously when you find that community spirit as well and you find those like-minded people, you find I don't know, you find your spirituality a lot easier to explore. I know since obviously I've been doing the podcast, I get loads of messages week after week about people saying, oh, thank you for bringing this up, and next week can you talk about this, for example. And even though I'm half the time just speaking to a wall and this microphone just sat here and it seems like nobody's listening, it's nice the messages that you get afterwards, isn't it? And it's just that community spirit and things like that. Have you ever thought about doing a podcast yourself? Because because honestly, I'm loving this episode so far, and I'm just thinking, like, you've got so much wisdom and so much knowledge, it would be a shame to not share that with the world.

Yeah, I have a few people ask, would I do a podcast?

But I think I would love for you to do, like, a witchcraft podcast or something and do, like, different practices each week. That would be amazing.

Yeah, that's the thing. I was talking to someone about this the other day, and I was saying, sometimes you don't realize how much you know until you speak to somebody else that's maybe just at the beginning or is just dipping their toe. And yeah, I really want to find out what my purpose for doing a podcast is, like what my intention is. Is it something that I can serve my Vahla community with as well, um, or is it something that is purely spiritual? Because I have, yeah, like you said, such an amazing community of people around— naturopaths, um, people I help with public speaking, yoga practitioners, all these different incredible people in my life that I would love to share their stories as well. Even someone like you and your journey is so fascinating to me. So maybe in the future I'll think about it.

I really look forward to it. Seriously. So Gemma, you seem like you've done it all. So where are you hoping that all of this leads? What's on your vision board for the next 5 years? Are you thinking more spiritual path or are you thinking you're going to expand Vala further and stay in like this? Was it the sports nutrition kind of side of things? Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?

Yeah, people ask me this question and I always say, oh, I don't know, give me an answer that I want to do, but I'm never like, this has to happen by this day. I think the older I get, the more passionate I become about how I want to feel. Rather than what I want to do. So I want to feel more free. I want to have freedom of time. I want to serve more people and help more people and make, you know, grow two profitable businesses in a way that feels fun and aligned and breaks the rules. And, you know, shouldn't— you shouldn't be able to do it, but because you believe and because you see things differently, that makes it possible. So things I would like to achieve. Yeah. I'd love to grow my community, maybe do more in-person events for Vahla. We're actually doing a second birthday run because we launched in the middle of COVID I just hardly met anyone. So that's really nice. I'm, I'm such an advocate for community. And the joy that community can bring and having an ongoing connection with your customers, with your clients, seeing the growth. I still have clients that I message now and I'm like, I just saw you did this, I'm so proud of you. And, you know, I, I don't work with them anymore, but I'm still invested in them. I still care. Um, so yeah, growing community probably is the biggest one.

Amazing. And I mean, And like I say, like you've just mentioned there, sorry, Vala turned 2 as well. Like, how did you celebrate that? Like, 2 years, that's absolutely amazing for you to launch during the pandemic and for it to be as successful as it has been. I mean, I've even had the sachets myself. I took a run in— well, I say run in, it was more like a light jog about September, October last year. But they really, really helped me. And I mean, when I saw that there was dates on them, I was like, I'm not too keen on the date flavor. But once I tasted them, I was like, these are bloody lovely. They were literally like that, just boost of energy. And they are all made with natural ingredients as well, aren't they? And are they vegan?

Did you say? Yeah, vegan, 100%.

Yeah. So I mean, like, where else can you get a vegan sports supplement like that that gives you that little boost of energy for going out for your run? I absolutely love them. I've still got a couple left, actually, because obviously when the cold weather came in, they just went back in the drawer and I thought, I'll save them for next year. Obviously, Vala turned 2. How on earth have you managed to make it so successful during the pandemic? Did you think that that was kind of a blessing in disguise with it being online, or do you think it would have been harder for you if you'd had to done it face to face and things weren't as online as they are now?

Yeah, so I would go back to community. So the one benefit of being forced to go online was that we managed to build community in a way that felt really authentic. And if somebody bought, they would message on Instagram and I could have a dialogue with them, find out what they loved. And then as clubs started opening back up, runs, these people would say, oh, can I have a box for my club? Can I take some on my club run? And then just spread word of mouth. I'm a big believer in sustainable growth and I always encourage that. I, you know, I'm a firm believer there's no shortcut to success. If you want to build sustainable success in a way that feels really authentic, then it is a journey to it. And it's something I still maintain now that, um, I still message people. I still maintain those connections. Um, and that's really, really important.

So what I'll do also, Gem, I will pop all of the links to Vala and your witch circles and everything like that on the show notes below this. So if anyone is interested, they can just click on the link and get straight to it and get connecting with Gem. She's got loads on her website and you can read all of her about her story and things like that. It's absolutely amazing. So one thing I just like to end my podcast interviews on is just with a bit of a simple question, Gem. So what advice would you give your teenage self self. So someone who's just coming into their own mind and starting to learn all about things mindset and energy and law of attraction and witchcraft and all that jazz, what advice would you give your teenage self?

I would say you can only join the dots when you look back, and that it's never too late to change your mindset, to create new habits. Neuroplasticity is an amazing, amazing thing. The fact that we can have new thoughts and create new feelings in our body. It's never too late to live this life that you want to live, no matter how old you think you are. I was 30, I moved back into my parents to start a business. I didn't even have money for a car. So it's so easy, I think, to look at people sometimes from the outside, and you know, you said like, well, I was so successful, it's done this, but you don't see what's going on in the own life. You don't see the behind the scenes. It's so easy just to see the highlight reel and be like, whoa, boss in it. But what these people are doing to get there, and that's not just me, that's like so, so many founders and entrepreneurs I know as well. But I'd always say everything happens for a reason, which sounds cliché. My mom always used to say to me, ride with the tide, like just go with it sometimes. And that's kind of the law of attraction. The more you resist, it persists, as Carl Jung says. Yeah. Just embrace the ride and accept that these things are happening for you and you can look back and see how and why they happened.

I was going to say, I think something I've learned as of late is that everything works out in the end. You might not know the reason and why it's happening, but there's always some kind of reasoning behind it. And you look back in a few weeks' time, you think, that's why that happened, or that's why this happened. And something I'm working through at the minute as well is dealing with— I'm still learning to deal with the grief of my granddad's death from July 2019, which is 3 years ago. It's 3 years next month. And it's almost like the death was a gift. And I was listening to a podcast the other day, and they mentioned that when someone dies, it tends to be a gift because it pushes you and spurs you and gives you that energy and that drive to go on and do something further. And if it wasn't for my granddad dying, I wouldn't have ended up in the job that I was in that sent me to Liverpool where I met the girl who was doing crystals, and I wouldn't have gone to crystal healing. And it spiraled from there. And it's only the last couple of months where I've actually started like clicking and thinking my granddad's death was his gift to me. None of this would have been here if he hadn't died. And I know that's a bit of a weird thing to say, but it totally fits in and everything happens for a reason.

Yeah, I just had shivers when you said that.

Sorry, I'm trying to hold back the tears here.

Yeah, that's the thing. It's looking for the beauty and the meaning and the lesson in everything, I think. Definitely seeing that.

Yeah, definitely. Well, Gem, as always, it's been an absolute pleasure to chat to you. It's been lovely to actually have this video call as well because I've never actually had this video call with you. We've just always had the one-way chat, haven't we? Um, but it's been an absolute pleasure. And to anyone else that is interested in business coaching, mindset, manifestation, witch circles, I'll pop all of Gem's details in the show notes for today's episode. So Gem, thank you so, so much for sharing your story and your wisdom with us all.

Thank you so much for having me, it's been such a pleasure.

No problem at all. And thank you all so much for joining once again, and I'll see you all next Friday for another episode of Candy Crystals the Podcast. Have a super lush weekend, everyone, whatever it is that you're getting up to. Let's pray this weather gets better. See you all soon.

Bye!

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