090: It ain’t what you do, it's the way that you do it

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Wayfair. Every style, every home. Hello, hello, hello. I hope that you're okay. Welcome to another episode of Connie Crystals, the podcast. As you probably know by now, my name is Mart Tweedy, I am your host, and what a bloody busy month July has been so far. We're only in the first week, can you believe it? My voice is cracking, my throat is sore. I think it's just from like all the aircon and all the talking that I'm doing. This probably isn't helping, but hey ho. So as you probably saw on my Instagram last Thursday, I was invited as the VIP guest speaker— can you believe it— to Stella McCartney's Pride event in London. So Stella McCartney, as in, you know, daughter Paul McCartney. I had to Google that, don't worry if you didn't know who she was. But I feel so privileged to have been asked to speak at that event, even though, like I say, I must admit I didn't know much about her before being booked to speak. I know most girls will probably know who she is because, you know, she's a fashion designer, she sells dresses and bags and all that jazz, but I don't buy dresses or bags, do you know what I mean? So at first when I asked one of my friends, is that the lady with one leg? They were like, no, that's Heather Mills, she was married to Paul McCartney as well. So I was like, oh Okay, is it the lady that makes the vegan sausages? And they were like, no, that's Linda McCartney. So I was like, well, who the frig is Stella? Anyway, she's quite a big name. She's Paul McCartney's daughter. And I think I scared meself Googling her because it made us realize, like, how big of a deal this talk actually was. And, you know, like, it's one thing me talking about all things spiritual on here and, you know, on me socials and stuff like that, but the reason that they'd booked me a talk was to talk about being gay and to talk about being a gay business owner, all of the challenges and all the limiting beliefs that, you know, I've had to overcome to get where I am today, just because of being a gay man. And like, what Pride means to me, what actions can business take to become more diverse and inclusive. So it was basically me talking about my journey using mindfulness, crystals, and overcoming me own mental health struggles. So the event was due to start at around 5:30 PM, so I got a train at about 10:30 in the morning, that's loads of time, and just to make sure I got to London like with plenty of time to spare. So I managed to find my way around the bloody Tube, couldn't believe that, and I got there with enough time to chill and de-stress. Well, I'd say that me bloody train was delayed 1 hour 45 minutes, wasn't it? So I was due to get there at around half 1 and I got there just after 3:15. So it's just as well I did get the earlier train. Um, I somehow managed to navigate the Underground and I don't know how because, oh my God, London Tubes. They scare me. Like, I take one look at their maps, you know, when you go down the escalator, and it freaks me out. And I never know which side to get on or which train's going where. But anyway, I managed to get to Stella's headquarters where I was met by her beautiful team who looked after me amazingly, I must say. So I donated a few crystals, journals, and copies of my book to their raffle. And the raffle was for a local mental health charity. And I had about an hour or so to, you know, just to allow myself to take it all in to sit there, to have some water and chill. So after scattering flyers for mine and Fran's event in September across the whole building, I sat there on me little stool at the front and I was just looking around thinking, you know, like, wow, I'm in London. Like, I've been paid to travel here and people are coming to this event to hear me talk. That's a big thing for me. And as we talked about in the interview, and I thought I'd just mention it on here briefly, Like, being gay for me kind of meant being silenced growing up. I felt that, you know, if I opened my mouth and someone heard this camp little voice, they'd think ill of me, or they'd beat me up, or they'd hurl abuse my way. And that was because that's all I ever had growing up. And that's just how I grew up in that little village. Like, you know, whenever I would ring me dad or go to his house, I would always put on, you know, this deep butch voice because he would always call me a pansy or a sissy, and I didn't want him to find out that I was gay. And I don't know if anyone remembers— what was it— Christina Aguilera's video for Beautiful. Can you remember that? You know, we are beautiful. Um, there was one part in the video where these two men kiss, and I remember like watching it for the first time in front of my dad, and when they kissed, he said something like, oh, bloody gays. And I was horrified that I just felt like I couldn't be meself. So I would go over his house every weekend and only really speak when I was spoken to because I was just— I just hated me voice, basically. I never felt I could be meself until my early teen years. So me being sat on this little stool in the reception of a huge fashion house waiting to speak in front of all these people just made me really emotional. It made us reflect on me journey and, you know, how far I've actually come. And it really made me blessed to know that you lot even listen to this podcast week after week. And that I'm not afraid to talk anymore. And that's part of the reason that we still have Pride to this day because there are so many people out there afraid to speak, afraid to use their voice, and afraid to say something. So don't worry, this isn't a political episode. Don't worry. I just wanted to say all that because it's who I am and I wanted to, you know, give you a bit of an update. So someone after the event came up to me after the Q&A and she asked me like how I was so confident in delivering me talk and answering questions from the audience and all that. And I just said to her, you know, I'm not. I was absolutely shitting myself waiting to talk. And for the first 5 to 10 minutes, I don't even think I looked to the audience once. I just kept looking at the person who was asking me the questions. Like, it was like a two-way conversation basically. It was a bit like being sat on a couch with a chat show host. Um, but in my pocket I had opalite, tiger's eye, labradorite, and citrine. And the reason that I chose that combo that morning is that, you know, opalite is such a great crystal for self-confidence and self-esteem, and it just really gives you a push to step out of your comfort zone. And then the tiger's eye is all about focus, determination, willpower, courage, and strength. So I had the labradorite on my wrist as well because labradorite transmutes all negativity into positivity. And then the citrine was just to make sure that I kept smiling throughout the entire event and was like visibly filled with happiness and joy. Because it's something like when I get into concentration mode, I forget to smile, and I didn't want people looking at me thinking, oh my God, what a moody bitch. And anyway, I fucking loved it. I absolutely loved it. I didn't think I would be one for public speaking, having absolutely hated it in the NHS. But I just think that it's so different when it is your target audience that you're speaking to, and you know that people are actually coming to hear what you have to say. You know, like in the NHS, like, it was just me talking about policies or procedures or a new website we were launching, and nobody would like ever be engaging because they would probably all be dying inside and bored shitless of the jobs, do you know what I mean? But it's different when people actually want to hear what you have to say. And then Monday this week, I attended the Beauty Growth Academy Release Your Inner Queen event in Chesterfield. It was all about the law of attraction, and it was such a lovely day because Fran was the guest speaker. And Alicia, who owns Beauty Growth Academy, she kindly asked if I would go and set up a stall to sell, you know, lots of crystal goodies and all that jazz. So from the second that the doors opened, I think it was like 8:45, we'd been there since like 7 o'clock in the morning. I had people coming into the venue and screaming when they saw our stall. And I mean screaming, like I'm not exaggerating. If you were there, you'll know, and you know who you are, do you know what I mean? People were screaming. It was so lovely though. I felt like a bit of a Z-list celeb, if I'm honest. Like, people were taking photos with us, they were telling us how much they loved the pod. I don't know how I got out the event doors with such a big head, if I'm honest, but it was an amazing event. And honestly, like, Fran did so well to calm my nerves and just get through a talk. And what was great was that in the afternoon, uh, we actually got to catch up and plan more of our event, which was great because we don't often get much time to meet up. And I've never bloody seen so much of Fran lately. And even next weekend— like, this comes out on Friday, but a week on Friday— we're even going to Happy Place Festival next weekend together with Emma Mumford. So I'll get to see Fran again. She's going to be bloody sick to death of us. If you are going to Happy Place Festival, we are going to the Saturday in Chiswick, so please give me a shout if you're going. We'll like, come and see you, that kind of thing. Um, yeah, but the event on Monday itself was so nice to be able to chat with you lot. There was one woman in particular who I've met a couple of times now, and she spoke about having breast cancer, and she said that because of listening to my pod and working with crystals and everything else that she's putting into place, she's going to beat that breast cancer. And honestly, as she was talking, like I could feel myself welling up, and I was trying not to cry. So I was like holding all my emotion back, and I was just like, you know, nodding along, trying to like hold it together. And I could feel all my emotions bubbling up inside. And that just was like a really heartfelt conversation that we had, because it really puts things into perspective, and it really makes me realize, you know, this is exactly why I do what I do. This is exactly the help and support that I enjoy delivering to people. So I'm sending lots of Big love and lots of healing to her. And yeah, that in a nutshell is an update on my life last week. It's starting to become a pod just about my life, isn't it? Anyway, we're 10 minutes in. This week I wanted to talk about something that came to me whilst I was on me way to work in the car. So I was doing me affirmations and I was listening away to some random podcast. It's so bad that I don't even know what podcast it was, you know. My Spotify just keeps playing like random podcast episodes when another one finishes, and before I know it, I'm halfway through someone else's back catalogue and I don't even know who they are. Um, but they were basically trying to debunk the law of attraction and why it works, and whether or not, you know, crystals were just a placebo effect, and if visualization only works because it's tricking your mind. And it was a really in-depth convo between these two people, and it just made us think, like, it's not what you do, it's the way that you do it. And that really, really struck a chord with me because it made me start thinking about everything I do and why it works for me. But then obviously someone else could do pretty much the same thing as me and would get totally different results, or it might not even have any effect at all. And I kind of did a little research on this before recording this episode just to see what other people had to say about this. And it was kind of, you know, widely talked about online about how, you know, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. Okay, so for example, if we take a little ritual that I do on the first of each month— this is quite an old-style witchy thing to do, so you might be thinking, what the fuck, Martin? But on the morning of the first of each month, I'll grab myself some cinnamon and I'll head to me front door, and I will stand on my porch with my door open looking into the house, and I'll pop some cinnamon in me hand and I'll blow it across the threshold. Now, me neighbours must watch us doing this on the first of every month, and you know, they must be like, "There he is, crazy lady alert." But honestly, it works bloody wonders for us. And people might think, "But how is that doing anything?" or "How does it work and deliver your money?" Well, it's all in the intention. Because it ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it, and that's what gets results. Do you remember that song? No? I must be fucking old. So when I pour the cinnamon into my hand, just before I blow it across the threshold, I'll wrap me hand into a fist and I'll hold the cinnamon in there. But as I do that, I close my eyes and I'll stand for about 2 minutes. And during these 2 minutes, I visualise the money showing up in my bank account. I'll visualise buying meself upgraded things like new sunglasses or a new car or, do you know, like a new bag or some new jeans, something like that, something materialistic. And I'll visualize myself happy and wealthy and abundant and prosperous, almost to the point that when I open my eyes to blow the cinnamon, I'll startle myself with where I am because I've just been living that visualization as real life for the last 2 minutes. And then I say something along the lines of, you know, okay cinnamon, I would love you to support me with prosperity, wealth, and abundance for the upcoming month ahead. I thank you for all the opportunities you send my way, as well as all the success and comfort that this brings me. And I honestly think that's why I find that rituals like that work for me, because I've put intention behind it. I knew what I wanted, I did a ritual, I felt the energy and connected to it, and then I took that little action to blow the cinnamon. And for some people, rituals like that won't work. Like I say, But I dare bet for those people that it didn't work, they'll have, you know, tipped the cinnamon into their hands.

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Wayfair, every style, every home. And blown without giving any prior attention, any instruction. So there's no meaning behind what they've just done. They've just blew a bit of cinnamon. The minds might have wandered, they might have been elsewhere subconsciously. It's almost like they've done it on autopilot. It's like, have you ever drove from A to B or got the bus from A to B and you get halfway there and you're like, oh, I'm here, and you, you just, you've just gone into autopilot mode? You've either drove yourself or you've just been in a kind of a daze on the bus and you haven't really like realized how you've got there because your subconscious is elsewhere. Okay, it's all about bringing yourself back to the present moment. It's kind of like mindfulness. Okay, so someone that just gets the cinnamon in their hands and blows, they're on autopilot. And to the universe, that's kind of almost signaling that, you know, they don't care about the outcome. Does that kind of make sense? So intention acts as the driving force behind our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions, okay? It's the underlying motivation that directs our energy towards a particular outcome. So when it comes to the law of attraction, you know, the intention is everything. It's the guiding principle that determines the quality of our manifestations and what basically like shapes the overall experience. So intention is what helps us align with the natural flow of the universe, because when our intentions are rooted in, you know, positivity, authenticity, and a desire for the highest good, we are going to resonate with the universal energy. And that alignment is what creates a fertile ground for the manifestation of our desires as the universe responds favorably to our intentions driven by love and harmony. So intention acts as a catalyst for personal growth and transformation, and we know this because by setting clear intentions, we challenge, we overcome our limiting beliefs that might hinder our progress. An intention then empowers us to step out of our comfort zones, break free from those self-imposed limitations, and ultimately expand our realm of possibilities. And intention also instills within us a, like, a sense of purpose and resilience, because when setbacks arise, a strong intention is going to keep us motivated and focused on our goals, and it's going to provide the strength to persist in the face of challenges. It's going to help us learn from our failures, and it's going to help us adapt our approach as needed. It fuels our determination to keep moving forward and ultimately leads us to our desired outcome. So, as we chase our goals and aspirations, the importance of intention is paramount, or at least it should be paramount, because actions can play a significant role in bringing about desired outcomes, but it's the infusion of intention that amplifies their impact. So by understanding and harnessing the power of intention, we can optimise our efforts, we can navigate challenges with clarity, and we can ultimately get the best results. So the intention is the driving force behind our actions. It's going to give them purpose and meaning, and it's the conscious decision to align our thoughts and our beliefs and our desires with our chosen course of action. Because by infusing intention into our actions, we're going to elevate them from just simple, you know, mechanical movements to intentional steps towards our desired manifestation. And I guess the same goes for crystal healing here, because some people, as I've mentioned before, will buy crystals They'll pop them around the home or in the bag or in the desk or even wear them daily as jewelry, but they won't do anything with them. And because they don't do anything with them, there's no intention behind what they want the crystals to support them with. And when there's no intention behind wearing that specific crystal or taking it with you, and you just, you know, mindlessly put it on to wear in the morning, you're not infusing yourself with that free goodness that you're entitled to. So all I ask is that you pick up a crystal, you hold it in your hand, you talk to it, you visualize with it, you see yourself in that end result, you meditate with it, you give it a kiss. It looks weird, but I always do it. I always kiss my crystals. And honestly, it'll be so much more powerful than simply putting it on your wrist and just expecting it to work, because everything is energy. And the more energy that we give to a certain situation the better the outcome will be. Everything in this universe at its most fundamental level is energy. We've spoke about this many times before. All things are composed of energy in different forms, and that concept is at the heart of various scientific disciplines, like including physics, where, you know, like, you've all heard of that E mc². E equals energy. E is energy. And that was Albert Einstein's, yeah. So, in a broader sense, this principle kind of extends beyond the realm of physics to encompass our daily lives and interactions. And it suggests that the energy that we invest in a particular situation has a direct influence on the outcome that we experience, because the more energy that we dedicate to something, the greater the potential for a positive result. For example, you'll more than likely have a personal goal or aspiration in mind. So if we approach it with a half-hearted effort, our results are likely to reflect that level of commitment and we'll get half-assed results. Okay. But when we wholeheartedly invest our energy, our focus, our determination, our courage, our passion into achieving these goals, we'll set in motion a chain of events that aligns with our intentions and therefore increases the likelihood of success. And that idea also holds true in interpersonal relationships as well. The energy that we bring into our reactions with other people, that kind of shapes the quality of our connections with others. So when we approach others with kindness or empathy or positivity, we're going to create an atmosphere of warmth and understanding, and that in turn is going to foster trust, and it's going to deepen relationships and enhance the overall outcomes of our interactions. And, you know, similarly, when faced with challenges or obstacles, the energy we choose to channel into them plays a vital role. Okay, by focusing on the negative aspects and, you know, dwelling on limitations, we are inadvertently contributing more energy to those undesirable elements. And then we might find ourselves, you know, trapped in a cycle of negativity or hindering progress and limiting our own potential. But if we consciously direct our energy towards intentionally finding solutions, maintaining that positive mindset, and learning from setbacks, we'll begin to transform our experiences. Because by embracing challenges as opportunities for growth, we're going to unlock the power to overcome obstacles and achieve great outcomes. So it's important to note that, you know, the principle of investing energy doesn't secure a guarantee of immediate success or that positive thinking alone can solve all problems, because it can't, and we know this. Instead, it highlights the power of intentionality and the role of focused energy in kind of shaping our experiences. So it encourages us to align our actions and our thoughts and our emotions towards our desired outcomes. It amplifies our efforts and it'll increase the probability of like the best results. So I hope that helps you a little today when you're going about your daily routines with your rituals, your crystal healing, whatever it is that you're doing. Make sure that you do it with intention, okay? Whatever it is. And that's why I think that like journaling first thing on a morning is so powerful, because when we journal on a morning, it's almost like we're setting our intentions for the day ahead. We are putting our thoughts, our energy, and our focus, and our determination into what we want to happen for the rest of that day. So by preempting, you know, with gratitude, like if you've got a meeting coming up, write down on like your gratitude list, "I am so happy and grateful that the meeting went in my favor, that I was able to speak my truth and have my voice heard," that kind of thing. Because you're preempting the day ahead then and you're giving that situation intention. And when you give a situation intention, it will do nothing but conspire with you, okay? So just remember that whatever it is that you're doing, make sure that you do it with intention. Okay, so just before I go, you might have seen that last week, myself and Fran launched a competition to win 4 free tickets to our event in London. So if you haven't entered yet, go and do it now, okay? Head to @cannycrystals or @francescamber or both if you want double the opportunity to win. All you have to do is like, share, and tag 3 people that you take with you. It is that easy. We are so excited about this event and the tickets are on sale. The link is in my Instagram bio. And the more that we get together to plan this, the more I'm thinking this event is going to be amazing. So please, you do not want to miss out. We've got people coming from South Africa, from America, Mexico, Brazil, I was like, what? Even people come from Australia, literally the other side of the world. It's absolutely mad that people are coming over to see us. So we are planning on making this event the best event that we can. We've spent like 10 grand of our own money each just to book the venue. Like we probably won't even break even, but we just wanna give such a great event to you guys because, you know, like you support us all the time, you listen to our podcast, you listen to everything that we have to say on Instagram, and you're always liking our posts, and you support our businesses so much that this is like our way of giving something back almost. So please go and get your tickets. They are still for sale, like I say, but they are selling fast. Okay, when I was with Fran the other day, we had a look at a report and 47% of tickets have been sold solo, meaning that just under half of you are coming on your own. And I fucking love that. Like, it's amazing. Well done if you've already got your tickets. Like I said, the link is in the Instagram bio if you'd like to come along. It's going to be such a fun night of manifestation, hearing your wins. We're going to do EFT, we're going to do meditation, and you're going to leave feeling so inspired to go out there and achieve those goals. I can't wait to see you all there. Anyway, don't forget, if you use the code PODCAST at checkout at cannycrystals.co.uk, you'll get 10% off all your orders. Please rate, review, subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening from. I'm number 3 in Japan this week. How fucking random, but I'm here for it. So go and follow me on Instagram if you're not already. I am @cannycrystals or @marttweedy if you want to follow my personal. And I will see you all next Friday for another episode of Canny Crystals the podcast. Thanks so much for listening, guys. Bye!

You wanna get your backyard summer ready, but you don't wanna break the bank? Wayfair gets it. Planning on dining alfresco or relaxing poolside? Wayfair has everything you need to prep your space. Shop now and save up to 70% off during Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance. Score huge deals on outdoor furniture, area rugs, and more. We're talking thousands of products for every style and budget. Plus surprise flash deals July 6th. Don't wait. Shop Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance now through July 6th at wayfair.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home.