174: Breaking the mold - why you’re not meant to stay in one lane

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Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Canny Crystals the podcast. I hope that you're all well. I just want to start today's episode by saying thank you again. I know I said it last week, but oh my God, my book Limitless ended up going to number 1 in 9 categories on Amazon over the weekend. 9 categories! I even went to number 1 in Australia and number 1 in America as well, and I'm just absolutely blown away. Honestly, there are no words for it. I thought maybe when when I wrote this book that I'd sell about 100 books tops, and so far as I record this, 700 of you own Limitless right now. That just blows my mind. It's absolutely insane to me. To be on the Sunday Times bestseller list, you need around 1,000 sales in the first week, and I never thought in a million years that I'd get anywhere close to that, even though I was trying to manifest it. But I'm just so happy with how it went, and I'm even more happier at all of the beautiful reviews and comments and messages that I've had from people just saying how well written and how easy to understand it is. And I've even had a few of you saying that you were emotional reading it as well. So yes, thank you, thank you, thank you. The audiobook, for those of you asking, the audiobook should be out in a couple of months' time. It is a huge process, so I've been recording this week, but the whole process is going to take me around 20 to 30 hours, which is obviously on top of my normal working week at around 60 hours. So I've really had to spread it over a couple of weeks but it is coming, okay? And I will update you all as and when that happens. But for the time being, you can grab Limitless on paperback, hardback, or Kindle, all on Amazon. Or it's even now on the website cannycrystals.co.uk. You get 10% off with your discount code, which is the word podcast. You can go to your local Amazon site and search Mart Tweedy Limitless. Anyway, you know how to buy things, I'm not gonna go on. Anyway, on with today's episode. I want to talk about something that so many people seem to struggle with at the minute, which is the pressure to stay in your lane. And you know exactly what I mean. Society, family, social media, even our own inner voice just telling us to stick to what we know and to not rock the boat and to not make people uncomfortable by evolving or doing something unexpected. And honestly, that's one of the biggest blocks to manifestation, self-growth, and success. Because guess what? You are not meant to be just one thing. Okay, you are not meant to do only what people expect of you. You aren't here to follow a linear path that makes sense to everyone else but keeps you unfulfilled. And if you need proof of that, look no further than Beyoncé. So let's set the scene. Beyoncé, one of the biggest and probably most influential artists in the world, she dropped a country song out of nowhere. And what happened? The internet exploded. Some people loved it, some people lost their minds, like me. And a lot of people got big mad, and she got hit with the whole "stay in your lane" argument. You know, "You're not a country artist, this isn't your genre, why are you doing this?" She even won multiple Grammys for the album just a couple of weeks ago, and the internet lost its shit again. If you go on any of her posts on social media, on Instagram, on TikTok, on Facebook, whatever, it's just people trolling her, saying that she's not a country artist and she shouldn't have won. Even her tour announcement earlier this week, people were still mad. And let's be real, that reaction wasn't about the music. It was about breaking expectations. So for me, I think it's more about the fact that people don't like when someone refuses to be boxed in. But this is the thing, Beyoncé doesn't stay in her lane ever. She reinvents, she experiments, she follows her creative flow. And what happens? She dominates anyway. She didn't let those critics dictate what she should or shouldn't do. She simply just said, "I'm doing this because I want to, because I can." And that's the energy that we should all be moving in. So let's be honest, like, most people won't take those big leaps like that because they're scared of judgment. You know, what will people think? They might be scared of failure. You know, what if it doesn't work? They might be scared of not being taken seriously. 'What if people think I'm a joke?' Or it could even be like losing what they've already built. You know, 'What if I ruin everything that I've worked for?' And that fear, it keeps people stuck in the same cycle, doing the same things, afraid to step outside of their comfort zone. But here's the truth: the people who make history on this planet, the people who grow, the people who manifest the most incredible things, they are the ones who are willing to break the mold. All right, let's get real for a second because I've lived this myself. You know how people always say stay in your lane? Well, I didn't. And let me tell you, the moment you step outside the box that people have put you in, they get weird about it. So I started out obviously selling crystals. That was me thing. I was the crystal guy. People loved it. They were all for it. Oh, you sell crystals? Amazing! What should I get for protection? Which one's best for love? But then as I started to evolve, you know, as I naturally started talking more about manifestation, mindset, energy the deeper side of spiritual growth, some people suddenly went, "Whoa, hang on, stay in your lane, mate." As if crystals and manifestation aren't literally intertwined. It blows my mind because crystals are a tool of manifestation. They hold energy, they amplify intentions, they help us focus and attract what we want in life. But the moment I stepped outside of that very specific identity of just being the crystal guy and I started expanding into teaching manifestation or coaching on mindset and breaking down those energetic principles behind it all, people started questioning us. So I would get messages saying, "Oh, so now you're a manifestation coach? Weren't you just selling crystals? Why are you talking about all this stuff now?" And that right there, that's the exact problem with people's mindset around personal growth and evolution. They see you one way, and when you step outside of that, they don't know what to do with it. But let me tell you something, you are not here to stay in one box. The idea that you should only do what people are comfortable with is one of the biggest blocks to success, growth, and manifestation. Like, imagine for a second if I had listened to all their messages. Imagine if I had thought, oh, they're right, I should just stick to selling crystals. I would have never built what I have right now. I would have never have created my courses, my coaching, the manifestation membership, or even my event Manifest I wouldn't be speaking to thousands of people about how to change their reality through mindset and energy work. I wouldn't probably be even sat here telling you that you have every right to evolve and to step into something bigger either. I would have stayed stuck in a tiny little box just because other people couldn't see my vision. And that's the key here. Other people don't have to get it. Other people don't have to understand your journey because it's not their journey. Okay, so if we go back to Beyoncé and her country music move, because this is the exact same but on a bigger scale. So Beyoncé started out in pop and R&B, people got comfortable with that. Then she stepped into rap and hip-hop, she was pushing the boundaries a little bit, she owned it. And now she's diving into country music and suddenly people are like, "Wait, no, you're not supposed to do that." Why? Because people fear what they don't expect. They want predictability. They want you to stay the same because your evolution makes them uncomfortable. That's all it comes down to. If someone starts evolving and someone is really insecure, it can make them uncomfortable. And that's exactly what happens when you break out of the mold that people put you in. When you grow beyond what people are used to, some of them will resist it. They'll question it. They'll start doubting it. Not because you're doing something wrong, but because your growth forces them to reflect on the fact that they might be the ones that are stuck. So there is a trap of staying in your lane. So we're going to flip this for a second, okay? So what if I had stayed in my lane, me personally? What if I have never spoke about manifestation? What if I had just kept quiet and only sold crystals? What if I had let all that fear of judgment stop me from stepping into my true calling? I'd still be in the exact same place that I started. Don't get me wrong, I love crystals. They were a huge part of my journey. They still are today. But if I had limited myself to just that because I was worried about people's opinions, I wouldn't have helped thousands of people step into their power. I wouldn't have transformed my own life. I wouldn't be here reminding you that you are allowed to evolve as well. And I remember like the early days when I first started Can You Crystals, there was this little bit of an ick about what I did and sharing it on my personal Facebook. So on my personal Facebook, I have got family, friends. I've got school friends that I went to school with like 20 years ago, and I just thought, these people are going to judge me. These people are going to think, oh my God, what's he doing now? Hasn't he just been working in the NHS? How come he's all of a sudden like selling crystals? What is going on? And it's almost that fear of other people judging you. And I even had people like commenting on when I first launched Canny Crystals. I put the post up and I even had to delete a few comments from friends and family being like 'What are you up to now? Oh my God, what is this?' But that was just me stepping out of my comfort zone, stepping out of that box that people were trying to keep me in, okay? So I want to bring this back to manifestation because I feel that this is a huge lesson, okay? So manifestation is all about expansion, it's about growth, it's more about, you know, stepping into the next level of yourself. But if you're the one that's constantly playing small, staying in the box that people put you in, and refusing to explore what truly excites you, how can you ever expand into that abundance that you're meant for? So how can you manifest new levels of success if you're scared to step outside of your comfort zone? The universe rewards courage. So the moment that you say, you know, I am willing to evolve no matter who doesn't understand it, you then open up a whole new level of possibility. So what can you do personally if you're feeling stuck because people are questioning your growth? So I wrote down 5 things earlier this morning, and the first one is to give yourself permission to evolve. So think about this, like, you don't have to be the same person you were last year, last month, or even last week. You can just allow yourself to change. The second note that I wrote down is to stop explaining yourself. So if you keep feeling the need to justify why you're stepping into something new, just stop. You don't need permission, just do it. The third thing is to remember that some people won't get it and that's all right because your journey is yours, it's not theirs. So just keep going anyway. Not everyone is going to understand what you're doing in life. The fourth thing is to focus on the people who do support your growth. So for every person questioning you, there are so many more who are inspired by your expansion, and those are the people that you're meant to impact. And then the fifth thing is to be unapologetic about your path. You know, if Beyoncé can go from pop to R&B to rap to country and still dominate the charts, you can absolutely step into your next level without hesitation. So just remember, you're not here to stay small. So next time someone tells you that you're not supposed to do that, that's not your thing, why are you talking about this now, just ask yourself, am I staying in this lane because I truly want to, or because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't? Because at the end of the day, you are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to expand. You're allowed to step into your full power, even if it makes people feel uncomfortable. The world doesn't need more people playing small. The world needs more people breaking the mold and owning their evolution. So if Beyoncé can do it, and if I can do it, so can you. So I want you to go out there and shake things up, okay? Imagine if every successful person in history had done you know, just what was expected of them. No innovation, no reinvention, no breakthroughs, just more of the same constantly. You were not put on this planet to play small. And you know something? Sometimes the lane that people put us in isn't even the one that we choose for ourselves. It's just the one that makes sense to other people, and we feel then pressured to stay there so that we don't confuse anyone. But guess what? It's your life. You don't owe anyone consistency at the cost of your own growth. And if you start to let fear of judgment dictate your choices, you'll wake up one day and just realize that you've spent your whole life making sure that other people are comfortable whilst ignoring what you really want. If you don't allow yourself to explore new paths or passions or opportunities, you'll start to feel stuck. You'll lose that spark. You'll wonder why you're not excited about things anymore. But guess what? That's because your soul is begging you to evolve. The most successful people in the world refuse to stay in their lanes. Every iconic figure, every trailblazer, every history maker, they've all had a moment where they've said, "Screw the lane, I'm doing what I want." Let's take Oprah Winfrey, for example. She started in news broadcasting, then she became the queen of talk shows, then she built an empire across books, spirituality, philanthropy, and now she's got her own network. Rihanna, she started in music, then she built a billion-dollar beauty and fashion empire called Fenty. Yeah, then we've got David Bowie. He constantly reinvented himself. He never got stuck in one version of who he was. So the common thread here is that they didn't ask for permission. They didn't wait for people to approve of their evolution. They just did it, and the success followed. So the next time someone tells you to stay in your lane, just ask yourself, am I staying in this lane because I truly want to, or because I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't? Okay, just want you to remember that. And just off the back of this as well, if you do get any backlash from people, there's a book out there at the minute which I know probably a lot of you will have read already because it's number one in the book charts everywhere. It's called The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, and this is one of the most freeing and empowering mindset shifts that you can ever make. The Let Them Theory, it's quite a transformational concept, but it helps you to release resistance and stop clinging to things that aren't meant for you and truly step into alignment with what is. And it's about surrendering control and trusting that what is meant for you will naturally come to you without needing to force, beg, convince, or chase. Just like stepping out of your own lane, just like what we've been talking about. Because here's the thing, you can't control other people. You can't control how they think, how they feel, behave, or even respond to you. The only thing that you can control is your own energy and your own boundaries and what you allow into your life. So this book has taught me, you know, instead of exhausting yourself trying to make people see your worth or show up for you or act the way that you want them to, what if you just let them be who they are? And that's what the Let Them Theory is all about. So if someone doesn't want to text you back, let them. If someone doesn't want to invite you to a party or on a night out, let them. If someone doesn't support your dreams, let them. If someone walks away from your life, let them. And you might be like, Mart, why? Because when you allow people to be who they are without resistance, you create space for all the right people and the right opportunities to enter into your life effortlessly. And before you know it, you'll be surrounded with people who are happy for you to change lanes and happy for you to evolve, and they're happily supporting your evolution and growth as well. Think about this for a second, like, if someone doesn't see your value Forcing them to won't change that. If someone isn't choosing you, chasing them won't make them stay. If an opportunity doesn't work out, holding on to it won't magically turn it into the right one. The more you cling to what isn't meant for you, the more you block what is. Now I get it, saying "just let them," it's easier said than done, right? We all struggle with this because our ego doesn't like rejection. It doesn't like feeling like someone doesn't value us. Or the unanswered messages or unreciprocated energy. It doesn't like the idea when someone could just walk away. But here's what you have to realize: rejection is simply redirection. It's the universe's way of saying, "No, not this one. I've got something better for you, but you just need to trust us." So when we refuse to let go, when we try to cling to relationships or friendships or opportunities or outcomes that aren't serving us, we are just operating from fear. It might be fear of being alone, fear of missing out, fear of not being enough. But when you step into trust, when you say, 'I release this with love because I believe that something better is on its way,' you shift into a whole new level of power. And that's where the magic happens. And I know I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here, but this is so pertinent to this talk because I want to talk about energy for a second, because manifestation is all about frequency and energy. So just imagine that you're holding onto a handful of sand, and if you grip it tightly, what happens? It starts to slip through your fingers. You lose more and more the tighter that you hold on. But if you just relax your hand, the sand will stay put. You're holding it loosely. You're just allowing it to be. And that's exactly how the universe works. When you're in a state of desperation, control, or attachment, you're pushing away the very things that you want. So clinging to a relationship that isn't working, you're operating in lack. If you're overanalyzing why someone isn't texting you back, you're obsessing over the how. If you're trying to force someone to see your worth, you're giving away your power. But when you detach, when you say, "I trust that what's meant for me will never require me to force, beg, or chase," you then shift into that state of allowing. You create space and you start to attract instead of chasing. And that's where true manifestation magic happens. So I was thinking about this earlier, and I was thinking, you know, how do you actually apply the let them theory in a way that keeps you focused on your own path instead of getting caught up about what other people are doing, thinking, or expecting from you? And it all comes down to staying in your own lane. See, I did loop back around. Um, focusing on what's meant for you and not getting distracted by what others are choosing to do with their energy, time, or opinions. Because here's the truth: when you are truly in alignment with yourself, you won't feel the need to control or chase or convince anyone to move in your direction. So let's talk about, you know, relationships and dating. If someone isn't reciprocating your energy, let them. But also, if you feel called to explore love in a different way, or if your standards evolve, if you grow out of certain relationship patterns, don't let anyone tell you to stay in your lane. People love to say things like, you know, "You're not the kind of person who does casual dating," or "Why are you suddenly so picky?" or "You've always gone for this type of person, why change now?" Let them judge you, let them assume, and evolve anyway, because the reality is you don't owe anyone consistency at the cost of your own growth. If you feel called to explore relationships in a new way, or setting different boundaries, or attracting a completely different type of partner, You're allowed to do that. So let them talk, let them doubt you, and go after what you actually want. In friendships, you know, we all have those friendships where people expect us to be a certain way forever. You know, you're the chill one, why are you suddenly all ambitious? You never used to care about that stuff, why are you into it now? Or, you've changed. I used to get that one all the time. You've changed. Yes, exactly, you should be changing. If you are growing into a new version of yourself and certain friends don't align with that anymore, let them misunderstand you. Let them drift. Let them go. You're not required to shrink yourself to maintain friendships that no longer support your evolution. So if you feel called to make new friends who align with your next level, or spend time differently than you used to, or maybe even shift your focus to personal growth and success, then do it. And if your old friends don't like it, let them. You know, I came up against this so many times from my own friend circle when I first started with the Law of Attraction. And people were like, "Oh, you don't really believe in that, do you?" And I was like, "Well, actually, yes, because I'm seeing it firsthand. I'm seeing firsthand what this is doing for my life, how it's transforming who I am, how it's making me happier, how my grieving has helped because of it." And, you know, I just did it anyway, and my friends didn't like it. There was even a couple of friends that I've kind of— I wouldn't say like I don't get on with anymore, because I do get on with them, but we don't speak half as much as we used to. If I see them while I'm out shopping or, you know, just out for a walk or something, I'll still speak to them and I'll still say hi, but we are nowhere near as close as we were. And it's almost because they saw that I was evolving and it made them uncomfortable. So don't be scared to get rid of those friendships, okay? Let them. Just let them. If we talk about this in terms of business and career, this one is huge because people love to tell you to stay in your own lane when it comes to business or career moves. Just like I spoke about earlier with Cani Crystals. So if you've built an identity in one space, people are then going to resist when you try to expand into something new. Trust me, I know this firsthand. Like I said, I started out selling crystals. That was me thing. People loved it. But the moment I started talking about manifestation, mindset, spirituality as a whole, some people just got really weird about it. Like, shouldn't you just stick to what you know? No, because I was never meant to stay in one box. And neither are you. If you feel called to start a new business outside of your original niche, or shift your content or branding or focus, or reinvent yourself professionally, then do it. And if people say, "That's not what you're known for, just stick to what's working," or, "You don't have the experience for that," let them say what they want and do it anyway. You know, do you think I really had any experience when I first started Canny Crystals? I didn't know how to run a business. I was learning all about crystal healing, manifestation, and mindset as I went on. And it's just my natural evolution. The most successful people don't stay in their lane. They break every rule and they redefine what is possible. And then most importantly, in manifestation, like I said, this is a big one because manifestation requires expansion. So if you're too focused on one specific outcome, you might be blocking something even better. If you're clinging on to one way of making money, you're just limiting your abundance. If you're obsessed with one specific timeline, you're resisting that divine timing. If you're only willing to be successful in the way that people expect, you're just cutting off other paths. Manifestation works best when you allow yourself to evolve and when you let go of the need for control. So instead of forcing your way down a predictable path, try this: let them doubt you and manifest success anyway. Let them question your choices and watch how it all unfolds. Let go of the need of validation and just trust that what's meant for you is already on its way, okay? That's all what it comes down to. You don't have to stay in one lane. You do not have to be who people expect you to be. And most of all, you do not need anyone's approval to evolve. So the next time someone tells you that you're changing, or that's not what you're supposed to do, or who do you think you are trying to do that, just let them. Because at the end of the day, the people who live the fullest, most expansive, and most successful lives are the ones who break the mold, rewrite the rules, and people that refuse to stay in the box that people put them in. So let them talk, let them doubt, let them stay in their own limited mindset, and you go do whatever the hell sets your soul on fire, okay? So I didn't mean to ramble on about Mel Robbins' book for the last 10 minutes intentionally, But here we are, and I hope that whoever out there is listening to this, I hope that you really needed to hear that, and I hope that it landed exactly where it needed to for all of you listening today. If you have enjoyed today's episode, please seriously consider coming to Manifest. It's now just 4 months away. Can you believe that? 4 months on Sunday here in Newcastle. We still have tickets remaining, and you will be joined by some incredible people in our community to see the likes of myself, Francesca Amber, Susie Ashworth, Kirstie Gallagher, and many, many more, as well as people that have been on this podcast before as well, like Lorraine the Reiki healer. Remember her? Everyone was obsessed with her. She'll be there with her own stall doing free guidance, doing free intuitive medical readings. We've got some absolutely incredible stalls, in fact just over 25 of them. And then we also have 3 free workshops at lunch too in sound healing meditation and mindfulness, and restorative yoga. You can grab your tickets right now at www.manny-fest.uk. So gather up your friends and come along, please. It will change your life forever. Please tag me in any stories over the next week of you listening at this part as well, or reading me book. You can tag me across all social media with my handle @cannycrystals, and I'll see you all next Friday for another episode. Have an amazing week, guys.

Bye!

You want to get your backyard summer ready, but you don't want to break the bank? Wayfair gets it. Planning on dining alfresco or relaxing poolside? Wayfair has everything you need to prep your space. Shop now and save up to 70% off during Wayfair's Fourth of July Clearance. Score huge deals on outdoor furniture, area rugs, and more. We're talking thousands of products for every style and budget. Plus, surprise flash deals July 6th. Don't wait. Shop Wayfair's Fourth of July Clearance now through July 6th at wayfair.com.

Wayfair.

Every style. Every home.